Rand jerked awake to a sense of profound wrongness. Cold wind bit into his flesh. Things that were not his bed, jabbed at his bare skin. He was almost too afraid to open his eyes. When he finally mustered the courage to do so, he wasn't the least bit surprised.
This wasn't his room.
No, somehow he had been transported to a forest.
Well, fuck.
A cold draft blew over his body, and his skin became gooseflesh. His mouth open in horror, he covered his very naked crotch with his hands, and climbed to his feet.
"Owww!" Only to stumble and fall on his ass when his foot rolled over a pair of inconveniently placed rocks.
The one he had actually tripped over was pearly white and webbed with golden veins. The other right next to it, was a sapphire blue and similarly webbed with white lines. Something about them was enchanting, but he shook his head clear and rubbed the crud out of his eyes. A part of him hoped that this was a dream, but deep in his heart, he knew it wasn't.
Feeling his heart pound in his chest, he felt a surge of panic flow through him.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fu– He took a deep breath.
"Alright, Rand. Don't freak out. So what, I'm naked in a forest. Shit happens. I'll get thru–"
A twig snapped, and Rand scrambled to his feet. This time mindful of the stones and looked around the clearing, and saw him. A kid, in his teens, hiding in the bush beyond the clearing. The worst part? The kid had a bow, an arrow already strung, pointed right at him. Even worse, he looked like he wanted to use it.
Yeah, this is some next level bullshit, Rand thought.
"Who are you?" Eragon asked.
"Rand. My name is Rand. Um, would you mind pointing that bow somewhere else?"
"Are you a wizard?" The teenager asked.
The fuck. "... No."
"Why are you naked? How did you get here?"
"I don't know. I was sleeping, and now I'm here, and I would really appreciate not having a weapon aimed at me." Rand said.
The two stared at each other. Rand, naked as the day he was born, with his hands cupped over his crotch, and Eragon, still with his bow drawn.
"Look, if you're gonna kill me, can you get it over with? My balls are literally freezing right now."
"I'm not going to kill you." Eragon said.
"Then can you not point that at me, it's not doing any favors to my mental health."
Eragon hesitated, and Rand could practically see the thoughts churning in his head. Deciding that being too insistent might not be a good idea, he continued inspecting his surroundings.
There was snow on some of the tree branches, and the air was frigid. The trees were still sporting tufts of brown leaves though, so it was fall not spring. Which explained the cold. The weirdest thing about this surroundings though, was literally his surroundings.
Everything, from the smallest bush to a copse of trees was charred and flattened. Almost like a bomb had gone off.
Wait… His eyes darted to the blue stone, no egg, and the teenager hunting alone in the forest.
"Say kid, what's your name?"
"Eragon."
Rob almighty, I've been isekaid. Inheritance though… that's interesting. Magic system that I might be able to game. I'll have to learn the language, and I really wish I paid more attention in Physics, but I can work with it.
His eyes darted to the white egg.
That's got to be for me too. So, as long as it hatches… Fuck Yeah!
Warm giddiness bubbled in his chest, and unwittingly, a smile came to his lips.
"Why are you laughing?" Eragon demanded.
Right.
"Nothing, I just realized where I am. You're from Carvahall, right?" Rand asked.
"I am."
"Good, good." Rand knelt down, uncaring of the appendage swinging unrestrained between his legs, and gingerly grabbed the white egg. "The blue one is yours."
""W– What?" Eragon asked.
"The blue one, it was sent to you." Rand repeated, bringing his own egg to his eyes. The surface was unnaturally smooth, smoother than any egg had a right to be, and warm. Oh, so deliciously, warm. Grinning like a loon, Rand snuggled it into his chest.
"Why would someone send me a stone?"
Rand carefully considered his response. Wondering how much information he should actually give the kid. Then, recalling what had happened in the books, he decided to be upfront.
Would it fuck with canon? Yes. But, canon had already been fucked. That, and the last thing Rand wanted was for Eragon to do the same thing he had done in the novels and try to sell Saphira's egg to the butcher, Sloan. Sloan, who would then blab to the Ra'Zac, who would then kill Garrow…
If that's actually how it plays out. Eragon wasn't stupid in the books, but he is very much an uneducated farm boy right now. One, who's only concern is hunting enough meat so he and his family can get through the winter.
Hmmm.
"It's not a stone, it's an egg. A dragon egg. As for who sent it,–" Rand paused. He was sure he knew the answer, he had reread the entire series multiple times after all. The answer rested on the tip of his tongue, but for the life of him, he could not spit it out. He shook his head. "I don't… It doesn't matter. Consider it fate or a call to adventure."
"Adventure?" Eragon muttered.
"Yes. Um, you wouldn't happen to have any spare clothes by any chance would you? Oh, and how far are we from your village? Oh, and while we're on the subject of your village, why don't you tell me a little about it." Rand said, to an increasingly confused Eragon.
He felt a little bad about that, but it couldn't be helped. At the very least he needed to make sure Eragon knew how to act over the next few days, otherwise things had the potential to go very wrong. Which couldn't be allowed.
And to make sure nothing unexpected happened, he needed to make sure he had all the information, and maybe an introduction to Brom.
Yeah. I'll have to wait at least until the egg hatches so Brom doesn't snatch it from me, but if, no, once that happens I'll be set. He'll be suspicious, but I can manage that too. It's not like I have anything to hide.
Or should I hide stuff? Better yet, I'll just tell him Rob did it, and he can make of that what he will. So long as he doesn't go rooting through my mind, I'll be happy.
I guess it's fine if he just sticks to my surface thoughts too.
I'm pretty sure that's a thing.
I'll figure it out.