Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon.
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"I don't hate you. I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence."
—Anonymous
The lesson has gone on with not a lot of people paying attention to me sitting next to Seiya, past some mild staring and little whispering.
I'm sure that I've felt Mamo staring at me in shock a few times through the last hour, but I haven't dared to look at him. It's not even that hard not to; just the thought of now seeing the face I've dreamt about for so long makes my eyes wet. Especially when I can't stop picturing him kissing Rei. At least, along with that thought, I've also gotten angry with myself for reacting so weakly, and that has helped to keep the tears at bay.
As I shift about uncomfortably, I feel a leanly muscled arm snake itself around the back of my chair. My body becomes rigid as calloused fingers tuck a stray piece of my blonde hair behind my ear. I force myself not to pull away so I don't look even more ridiculous than I already do.
"Well, that got a reaction," Seiya whispers in my ear, his warm breath tickling the side of my face.
Then, he kisses my cheek. As casual as you please!
I feel my cheeks flame and I hear him chortle lowly as he pulls away, righting himself back into his chair. I watch him as he begins to doodle precariously on the top right corner of his notebook paper, as though he didn't just make a very public display of affection with me.
I, Usagi Tsukino, have just been kissed—albeit on the cheek—by Seiya Kou.
I feel like I need a shower and anti-bacterial scrub.
When the dismissal bell finally rings, I grab my belongings and sweep out of the classroom before anyone can stop me. I'm not quite sure how I can avoid Mamo or Rei for the rest of the day in this veritable prison.
I hurry to my next lesson, heedless of whether people are or aren't staring. Knowing my luck, the whole school already knows about Seiya's little stunt. In reality, however, it won't be until afternoon tea before everyone finds out that Seiya Kou has been seen canoodling with the likes of Usagi Tsukino. I just hope that I can avoid all three of them until...
Well, the end of time is preferable at this point.
I wade through the rest of the day, avoiding everyone.
I bet I look like a bitch to my friends, but I just can't face them asking me if I'm happy for Mamo and Rei. And, if Umino's reaction is anything to go by, everyone would grill me with question after question; whether I saw it coming, if I've known, have I been in the middle this whole time just waiting for them to get together, did Mamo ask me to tell Rei, has Rei spent sleepovers wistfully planning their wedding, have I been wondering if I should just say something already?
I know it's a shit move on my part, but I just can't face it, or them, with this feeling of betrayal weighing my heart.
So, I ignore everyone and they seem to pretty easily and quickly get the memo that I don't want to talk with them. We've dealt with issues only one way in our group: ignore them until the person with the problem gets over it, because nine times out of ten it's a mountain out of a molehill—all of us have been guilty of it on numerous occasions over the years, myself included.
I go through the day watching Mamo being Mamo; people calling out to him in the hallways for a moment of his attention, smiling and laughing with the group as they hang onto his every word avidly like it's the law, and just generally being the cool, popular guy he is as Rei clings to him like she might lose him if she lets go. When (read: if) Mamo notices me looking at him, he pauses and throws me a pleading look and I know he wants to talk. At the sight of it, I almost forget that heavy sense of betrayal. But, then Rei looks at me with this indecipherable look on her face and I feel it all over again, totally raw.
I manage to make it back home, and it's here when my resolve melts away. I collapse on my bed, totally exhausted; not sure if I want to cry or not.
And that's where Shingo finds me, God knows how much later.
I hear his chuckle, followed by a knock on the door. "It's Monday, how bad could your day have been?" he inquires.
I mumble unintelligibly into my duvet and Shingo laughs again.
"Of course. Couldn't have put it better myself."
I lift my head long enough to say, "Shut up," only to realize that breathing is actually easier without my face in the blankets. So, I ungraciously roll onto my back and stare listlessly at the ceiling.
There's a pause in which I can picture my brother—without even feeling the need to look at him—trying to decide if this is something he wants to involve himself in, or not.
"Is this period-related?" he asks hesitantly.
I snort humorlessly. "Unless you equate the pain in my heart to the pain of my womb trying to kill me once a month, no."
Shingo enters my bedroom and drops down beside me, joining me in staring at the ceiling. "Okay. What's up, then?"
"And, if I said it was period-related?"
He sighs fatalistically. "Then I'll lay here and listen, anyway."
"You're getting soft in your old age," I mutter, nudging him.
He huffs a laugh, nudging me back. "Yeah, because seventeen is ancient."
"You're risking your reputation here, Shingo."
I feel him shrug. "I'd only do it for you, kid."
I smile then, feeling the best I have all day.
Shingo is, by all accounts, a bit of a prick in his own right. But, I don't pay much attention to any of that. I don't really care how many girls the rumors have said that my brother has hooked up with, or hearts he's broken, or stupid stunts he's pulled, because when it comes down to it he's my big brother and I love him. He's two years older than me, but we've almost always got along pretty well.
"So, come on. Tell me what's up. Did Rei go get ice cream without you?" he teases in a baby voice.
I sigh deeply. "Something like that. If 'get ice cream' is dating Mamo and 'without me' is the whole school knowing before me, then yeah."
He sucks in a harsh breath, all joking aside. "Ouch. Sorry, Usa."
I try to shrug it off and feel tears welling.
"Did you, uh...?" He leaves the question hanging by a mile, but I know what he's asking; there's very little about my life that I don't tell my brother.
I shake my head, wiping my burning eyes. "No. No, I found out before I got the chance."
"So, he doesn't know? You're sure?"
I gnaw my lip for a moment, considering. "I don't know. They didn't see fit to tell me they'd hooked up, and I only found out when I saw him kiss her in the hall this morning. I don't know what's going on."
"Well, it sounds like Rei's a traitor and Chiba's not much better," Shingo says as he pulls himself upright. "If you want, we can go down to the kitchen for ice-cream and stuff our faces."
I shake my head again. "No, thanks. I have some homework to do, anyways."
"Must be bad if you're turning down ice cream. Let me know if you change your mind. I can only justify breaking my diet if it's for you."
"Coach will kill me if I made you break your diet."
Shingo laughs. "Yeah, well, what Coach doesn't know won't hurt him, will it?"
I sit up and smile, and Shingo grins right back at me.
We're obviously siblings; the similarities between us brands us as nothing less. We have the same blonde hair, same shape nose and eyes, and we even smile the same. His eyes are green whereas mine are blue. He's inherited a bit more height than me, but I take after our mom that way. Not that I mind all that much; being as tall as Shingo would make me taller than Mamo, and teenage boys seem to have an enmity with girls taller than them.
But, I think we've established that teenage boys are stupid.
I nod to Shingo. "Okay. Maybe for dessert?"
His grin widens. "I say we also make up a nice sauce for the ice cream."
I can almost feel the sugary goodness running through my veins, and all my issues pale into an insignificance I can deal with just then. "Yes."
He rubs his hands. "Awesome! I should be getting to practice, now... If you won't give me a reason to ditch," he adds accusingly. "I'll see you for dinner."
He pops back into my room, kisses my hair, and hurries out as I laugh. "Bye!"
I drag my backpack towards my feet and start pulling stuff out—books, binders, pencil case, water bottle—pretending it's an integral part of my homework process. Really, I just think that it's justifiable delay tactics. I mean, how am I supposed to know what homework I have to do if I don't get everything out?
The notifications cause me cell phone to go off but—on seeing it was Rei—I ignore it and instead move everything over to my desk and start up my laptop. I have some reading for English as well as a poetry module in the next couple of weeks to study for. Psychology has a statistics quiz early next term and all the help I can get in that department would be great—even with weeks to go. Math has the usual few questions for the next day that I'll put off as long as possible. French is, thankfully, homework free tonight. And, I have an essay due for World History at the end of the week.
Plenty to keep me busy...
If my damned phone would stop going off!
I grab the device and unlock it. I notice that I have notifications from Rei, Mamo, Ami, Minako, Mako, Mitoki, Naru, and...Seiya?
I open Messenger and see the string of new messages. I bypass the ones from my friends—former friends?—and open the one from Seiya. There's nothing but a wink-y face emoji. My thumbs hover over the keyboard, trying to decide if I want to reply to him or not. I mean, I've butt-messaged people before... But, Seiya and I aren't friends—on Facebook or in real life—so it would be an exceptional butt-message for it to have come to me.
Eventually, I decide that I can't just leave it, so I settle for a quick response:
Usagi Tsukino:
You often stalk my FB page?
I watch my phone like an idiot as it just sits on my desk in front of me, pretending I'm reading my Psych textbook. Finally, it bloops again and I snatch it up as quickly as if Mamo has just proclaimed his undying love for me.
Seiya Kou:
If u accepted my friend request, it wouldn't b stalking :P
Usagi Tsukino:
I can't accept; we're not friends. Now, if it was an enemy request...? Well, that'd be fine.
Seiya Kou:
Haha course it would... Y don't we just call it an enemy request & not tell any1 otherwise?
Usagi Tsukino:
Can't.
Seiya Kou:
y not?
Usagi Tsukino:
I'm allergic to accepting a request from someone who doesn't use proper grammar.
Seiya Kou:
It's called text-speak.
Usagi Tsukino:
It's called "lazy."
Seiya Kou:
...seriously?! How old r u?
Smirking, I decide not to respond to that.
Eventually, he does.
Seiya Kou:
Fine... Odango, would you please accept my request?
Usagi Tsukino:
I see why you use shortcuts—you type slow. And, no, I think I like having you beg for it.
Seiya Kou:
I've never had to beg anyone for anything in my life and I don't plan to start now.
I believe that. Stories have said that every girl is more than willing for anything he suggests.
Usagi Tsukino:
Then we'll be enemies in real life only *le sigh*
Seiya Kou:
I'm not above...persuading you, though... ;)
I really wish that I didn't read that in the exact way that Seiya would say it. Repulsive or not, it gives a girl a shiver.
Usagi Tsukino:
Lol, and how do you plan to do that?
Seiya Kou:
Just be my usual charming self.
Usagi Tsukino:
I thought we've establish that you're not charming?
Usagi Tsukino:
Also, shouldn't you be at practice?
The very practice to which Shingo alluded earlier; Seiya is in the same soccer club team as my brother. It's just an unfortunate coincidence I happen to know where he's meant to be at this very moment.
Seiya Kou:
I wager the acceptance of my request that you'll find me charming by the end of term. :)
Seiya Kou:
Who says I'm not?
Usagi Tsukino:
And, if I win...?
Usagi Tsukino:
You're awfully chatty for a guy at practice. How does El Capitan feel about this?
Seiya Kou:
Then I'll punch Chiba for you.
Usagi Tsukino:
I feel like that's a reward for you...
Seiya Kou:
Alright then. Whatever you want.
Seiya Kou:
Also, we're taking a break. And your brother doesn't care. He's on his phone, too.
I'm rewarded with a picture of Shingo indeed on his phone on the other side of the locker room. He's also mostly naked, so I try to erase it from my memory as quickly as possible. Thankfully, Seiya sends another message so the picture moves far enough up the screen that the scarring bits aren't visible anymore.
Seiya Kou:
If you don't think I'm charming by the end of term, then I'll do whatever you like.
Usagi Tsukino:
That's a dangerous deal. You that cocky?
Seiya Kou:
I am ;)
I snort to myself, knowing full well he's referring more to one thing here. Then, I suddenly wonder why I find anything about Seiya Kou humorous.
Usagi Tsukino:
And whose judging?
Seiya Kou:
I'm just cocky enough to trust you not to lie to me, Odango.
Usagi Tsukino:
You're so cocky, you're gonna trust me to admit I lost?
Seiya Kou:
You're just that trustworthy.
Usagi Tsukino:
And you're just that delusional.
Seiya Kou:
Regardless, do we have a deal?
I'm one hundred percent confident that there is absolutely no way I will ever find Seiya Kou charming. So, why not?
Usagi Tsukino:
I'd spit in my hand and shake yours, but that's a little hard online.
Seiya Kou:
I'll claim it tomorrow, then.
Usagi Tsukino:
What makes you think I'll talk to you tomorrow?
Usagi Tsukino:
We've talked more to each other in the last fifteen minutes than we have in our entire lives.
Seiya Kou:
See, I'm charming. ;)
Usagi Tsukino:
I think that's enough interaction to last me until intercol. :P
Which is, conveniently, not until closer to the end of next term.
Seiya Kou:
I'll make you a side deal: that you'll talk to me tomorrow.
Usagi Tsukino:
I'd take you up on that, but I think it's unfair when I already know I'm gonna win.
Seiya Kou:
We'll see...
Usagi Tsukino:
Night, Seiya.
Seiya Kou:
See you tomorrow, Odango. :*
I close the app after and actually get some study time in without getting too distracted. Putting my Messenger notifications on silent definitely helps, but it only means that there are about thirty more waiting for me when I do finally check my phone again.
I'm torn. I sort of want to know what Mamo and Rei have to say. The rest are just my other friends asking me if I'm okay (or the usual group chat conversation which looks like is full of "Mamo loves Rei"). And I appreciate that, but I don't want to go into my completely ridiculous freak-out mode; now I'm in it, I don't know how to get myself out. But, I also don't want them to know I've read the messages and not reply. There's something worse about that somehow in my head...
I think we've establish it can be a fairly strange place up there, though.
So, I stick to my guns.
I feel betrayed by my former two best friends, and I'm going to continue avoiding the subject for as long as humanly possible. Of course, avoiding the issue means not talking to them and not talking to the rest of our friends. I'm not fully convinced I'll get away with it without looking petty and selfish. But, like I said, I have no idea how to get around it without actually having to talk with Mamo and Rei.
And, I honestly don't think I can handle that like a civilized human being any time soon.
I might be able to handle it like some kind of swamp monster; snot running everywhere while I ball my eyes out and scream unintelligibly at them. But that somehow seems worse than outright ignoring them...
By the time I finish my more pressing homework and justify my actions to myself, my name is being called out from somewhere downstairs. It's my dad and, apparently, it's dinnertime.
I wander downstairs in half my uniform, having kicked off my shoes, undid the red bow on my blouse. It feels like one sock has fallen down and I resolve to wear stockings the rest of the spring term so as to avoid looking like an idiot more than absolutely necessary.
"There you are, Usako!"
Oh, good. Dad's girlfriend is over too...
My eyes find Shingo's and I glare at him for not warning me Yua is here. I notice that my brother's hair is still wet, so he must have gone late at practice and only just got back home; Mondays, the team does fitness and they usually elect to swim.
That explains the picture from Seiya.
"How was your day, Usagi?" Yua gushes, obviously trying too hard to get in my good graces.
Yua is new to the family and Shingo and I are still supposed to be playing "nice" with her. We don't have this problem with Mom; her boyfriend is more laidback and insist we don't pander to him because he has to earn out trust and affection. Yua, however, is very hands-on. Mom says it's because Yua thinks that it's the best way to get to know us. I decide it's the best way for me to put my foot in my mouth and tell her to get lost.
Shingo casts me a knowing smirk and tries to hide behind his can of soda, and I stick my tongue out at him.
"It's been fine, thanks. Nothing new to report."
"Your test was today wasn't it?"
Shingo barely hides a snicker under a cough.
"French vocab, yeah. We have them pretty regularly. You'd think we'd have learnt it all by now, but..." I shrug and give her my best semblance of a smile. "Where's Ryu?"
"Outside," Dad answers. "He and Luna found something to stick their noses in and have been busy ever since."
I frown and look towards the back of the house, as though that's going to magically give me x-ray vision an I'm going to see our goofy dog and weirdo cat; Luna basically brought Ryu up so he now thinks he is a cat.
"He'll know it's dinner. He'll be in soon," Dad continues as he serves said dinner.
And, like clockwork, the dog door crashes open. Then the giant slobbering furball that's Ryu comes tearing inside followed by a daintily trotting Luna, tail stuck up in the air like a periscope.
I bend down and pat them. "Hey, guys. How's your day been?" I feel sort of terrible that I've been so stuck in my own world that I've ignored my them lately.
After a few head pats and ear scratches, I pull myself off of the floor and drop into my seat next to Shingo, all while Dad puts the dinner on the table.
"So, Shingo, how was practice?" Dad begins as we all start divvying out the food, and I try really hard to be a good daughter and be nice to everyone.
A/N: So, as you can see, some things have been modified for the sake of the plot for this story. :) Shingo is older than Usagi, her parents are divorced, etc. This story is very much AU, just fyi! Please let me know your thoughts!
