A/N: Why have a military force full of kids when they can't even stay up past 9? For all my stories, all characters are aged up ten years from canon (Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Lee) would be in their twenties; the characters who were established as being adults in canon already (Anko, Kurenai, Asuma, Kabuto) would be in their 30s.

Pink is a Fake Color

Chapter One: Graduation

"Toys won't get you far, Naruto."

He wasn't exactly winning any awards for his level of alertness, he knew. Waiting for the next big thing to happen was about as exciting as watching paint dry, and after about the first twenty minutes, Naruto had reached the stage where he was closing one eye first and then the other.

Still, he didn't think anyone would bother him. It wasn't like he was planning some big scheme; he understood the infamous reputation he had, and he figured sitting very alone and sitting very quietly should have put every mind in the current area at ease. Apparently not.

Perched on a branch resting above a swing, he glanced at the pineapple man below and gave his best smile. It was the kind of smile that could make anyone feel uncomfortable - especially when his teeth were as sharp as knives and his gums as black as tar. But he couldn't help it - he was a friendly bird, even if he looked like he could use a good dental cleaning. Before that snooze button hit him, he was looking back on the previous year, remembering everyone lined up in the rows of the classroom for graduation. This year, they decided to change that, and now he was no longer looking through a window, and no longer would there be another year.

"Well, I guess I'm not as invisible as I thought I was. Hi Shikamaru. Don't you just feel tired talking to me? Go rest."

"This isn't for dropouts. What are you doing here?"

"I'm outside? And I train here, like everyone else?" A sudden change came over Naruto's face as his expression vanished into an eerie emptiness.

"This is such a drag...man why me..."

"It's not a toy. I thought your IQ was two hundred, Nara."

For about two minutes they stared at each other in a silent battle, a pair of lazy dots for eyes looking into two pools of blue stone. The lazy genius was the first to look away.

Clicking his tongue, Shikamaru muttered something about how the DeadLast could possibly know that while walking away, mentioning over his shoulder how that was the wrong spiral on his plate.

So what? That's the wrong spiral on your backs, you stupid genius. He silently glared at his retreating form.

Everything felt so different when you knew things.

He used to run away a lot. Through the streets, over buildings, out of trouble, when he didn't feel wanted, when he was the last one at the playground. He ran. One time, he turned into a fox and tried running away from the village. The Anbu had not found that very amusing. No matter how much he had pointed to his whiskers, saying, "See?" a harmless pun on his appearance that his fourteen-year-old mind could think of. Now that he was twenty-four, he understood why.

He untied the band on his hair, the cold plate biting into his fingers as he did.

No, this was the right spiral. Theirs was the fake.

He was lost in his thoughts, and he failed to notice the punk sitting under the tree. And just like the first lost observation, he failed to notice the witch who was quickly trailing behind him. It wasn't until the weight of the branch shifted that he looked curiously under him that Naruto was trying and failing to hold back his look of contempt.

Sasuke and Ino. He didn't need to look at the other party in his personal space to know if it was him or not. From his view, he saw the signs. The multiple belts, the color-coordinated clothes cast to a dark tone, and the steel boots. He groaned, not wanting to look at this train wreck, he sat right back up. He tasked himself with his headgear while his eyes scanned the area to search for a spot.

There was no spot. The benches right next to the windows were taken, the windows were open for improvised sitting, and someone was standing on top of a pole. Upon closer look, it was that new guy Sai. The man was like a bird up there. Every other classroom had the younger students looking at the graduation class. This was the only spot. Not unless he wanted to go farther into the forest. Then he wouldn't hear his name.

Wherever Sasuke went, Ino went. And whenever Sasuke found a quiet and peaceful spot, he would camp there for hours. And that meant bothering Naruto. Because no one liked to be around Naruto, so it was perfect for Sasuke. It was like a younger brother following his older brother.

Naruto signed. Technically, he was the younger brother, or supposed to be anyway. "Go find somewhere else, Uchiha." he briefly looked to his side at the witch, "and take your fangirl with you." There were rumors about Ino actually being a secret agent tasked with never leaving him alone.

"Sure, but I punch easy, and you look like a punching bag."

He clicked his tongue. Leave it to the brooding calamity to pull rank. One day, he wasn't going to be the favorite to win everything.

"You're stupid, Sasuke. Don't hurt anyone, okay?" Ino pouted. "For every threat, Naruto's lips get a workout with a ton of kisses. And you get none."

"Hn."

Sasuke used to react to that woman, Naruto mused as he tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible. Now...he just doesn't. The branch dipping was the only warning he got.

Ino proceeded to do the most impossible acrobatics to get to the branch he was sitting on. Her form twisting in perfect circles before her legs lazed off the end to his right. It was like she was standing there the whole time. Her hair was colored pink, the red of her outfit was a red that contrasted well with her look, and her eyes were a pair of dark tea green.

"Hey." Naruto was suddenly aware that everyone was watching. The small pond in the back was suddenly so brilliant, and everything in the forest was vibrant and saturated.

She was in front of him, and he had to take in a very much-needed breath. He felt a lump in his throat and coughed hard, hunching over. As he tried to catch his breath, he looked up at her, and her eyes seemed to glow with an eerie light. "Sasuke is stupid, right?" He couldn't answer, not like he would anyway. "He is better than you because he attends the classes, puts in effort for training, and shows the hard work and long hours with the success, unlike you."

Everything was a little too vibrant and saturated and red. Even the people had this...aura about them. The air felt thick and suffocating. It was like he stepped into a nightmare.

"Sasuke is be-" she didn't even scream. He was in a genjutsu, and he couldn't even tell until now when it was too late. He had a fist full of her sleeveless top in his hand, and he wasn't planning on letting go.

All she did was talk and talk and talk and give too much-unwanted attention at every second of his life. Why are they so obsessed with him? Sasuke this, Sasuke that. What's the big deal about this guy?

"Drop the jutsu, you witch," he was right next to her ear. If she didn't have this ridiculous turtle neck, he would have probably bitten her by now.

"Naruto! Hey, stop glaring at Ino!"

"Why is the DeadLast even here?!"

"He's so scary! Look at those sharp white fangs!"

"Someone get a teacher!"

He glared at all of them like a feral wolf.

"You should be nicer to girls." his head snapped too quickly to look at her.

"Call. Off. The. Jutsu. You Witch." he glowered.

"Say. Please." she matched his look.

Sparks were flying from the both of them. Whether it was the jutsu heightening their bad feelings towards each other, he did not know. It felt real enough to him.

Everyone who wasn't a lowerclassman let out a sigh. This was the typical behavior of the two individuals involved. They knew how it was going to end, and they didn't very much have the stomach to look something like that again.

Ino's lips crashed into Naruto's without warning. Everything was suddenly deadly silent after that. The students who weren't a part of the graduation class had suddenly turned to stone. Naruto was pulling back or trying to, but the woman's painted black nails dug into his hair from either side, pulling him closer. She bit his lip, and suddenly, her tongue was in his mouth because she bit his freakin lip. It was like the man was drowning.

Naruto's eyes rolled to the back of his skull, and he fell, crashing into the bushes below.

The witch looked at all who were staring, wiping her mouth with a black nailed hand. "Sasuke is amazing."

Iruka re-read the list of names for the fifth time after appearing in front of the students. He rolled his eyes. A questioning look overtook his face as he re-read the paper again. And again. And then again just for assurance. He looked directly at Naruto, and he had a tired look in his eyes when this happened.

He opened his mouth to speak, his voice was like thunder and echoed through the invisible stage of the crowd, "Naruto!" it was as if he had discovered the secret to being the loudest person in the world. "You are not related! For future reference, please do not scribble a fake surname for yourself. And please practice your handwriting. It's getting better."

Naruto didn't so much as flinch.

As long as I'm not on a team with Sasuke or Ino, I don't care who.

"Squad Twenty-Two...Naruto Uzumaki."

His eyes shone like precious sapphires, radiating a brilliant blue hue reminiscent of a clear sky. The numbering convention was really off. Iruka just got here and it wasn't even a single-digit...but I was called first. The most amazing and comforting smile lit up his face. He never smiled like this.

"Ino Yamanaka."

Naruto felt every bead of wonder and excitement replaced with something resembling a rock. He looked up with a slow realization with slow-turning eyes at the Yamanaka.

Looked like she swallowed a lemon.

I'm doomed. Naruto thought.

Shikamaru couldn't have been any more happier than he was right now. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself when he thought about how his parents had always believed that forcing their children to mimic their own friendships was the secret to lifelong bonds. Severing those bonds was fun.

"Sasuke Uchiha."

"Yeah!"

"I'm so doomed..."

"Squad Zero." Iruka continued with a commanding tone, casting off his like-a-son's depression from his view. "Link Shimura. Kiba Inuzuka. Taiko Uchiha."

"Leader, you gotta treat the clan to some BBQ tonight!" Taiko was smiling ear to ear. And Link wanted to do the same, but he couldn't. A lot has happened to him to get to here. He was raised by a cult only to cut ties and join another cult. And his acting father was the leader of that new cult he joined unwillingly. He was a pawn no matter where he went. It's just on the surface this place actually looked like it was worth dying for. He had a home instead of being a part of a traveling circus spreading fortune and peace, he had a brother with a recognizable face that wasn't some hulking monster in a suit, and he woke up to the sun every day. Yeah. Konoha was worth dying for. Still didn't change the fact he was going to die though.

Kiba had this look that if he could get away with it, he would've knocked Taiko a good one. A Grade A menace. He was what every villager thought the Uchiha was. Pompous, all bark no bite, bad hair days, and proud. His grades were the absolute definition of I Didn't Try Hard in Life because I Don't Have to Try Hard in Life. When this was over he would tell him who the leader of the pack was.

"Squad...uh..." Iruka cleared his throat. "Squad Shadows and Shadows!"

As the place fell silent, Iruka couldn't help but feel like he was in the middle of a bad stand-up comedy routine. He looked at the figurative and in no way judgemental audience, desperately searching for a sign of life. But...the future refused to change.

Well, this is the last time I try my hand at public speaking.

"Shikamaru Nara. Hinata Hyuga. Sai Shimura."

So he got stuck with the weird ones? "Monkey's paw..." he muttered under his breath.

He got into his thinking stance. Hinata had a crush on him, so he was going to formulate a plan around that because it was the most annoying.

Years ago, some stupid teens had tipped over three of the deer in the Nara compound when he was on watch. He never ran so fast in his life and never wanted to try again either. It was snowing, and some girl in their way was carrying warm sweets with her sister before being pushed to the side. The girl was mad enough to grab one of them. And they were desperate enough to punch her. He grabbed the arm of the attacker before it made contact. He was mad the other two escaped, but he had one of them and made short work of the situation. The littlest of the sisters was still upset by the whole situation, and while Hinata was trying to comfort her, he gave her what he thought would be enough to replace the sweets.

He might have grabbed her hand without asking. That might have caused her to blush a little. He didn't remember all the details. He was home; he stayed indoors. He was yelled at for calling a day too early. Oh well.

The woman has had a crush on him ever since. And it was absolutely exhausting keeping the charade up or lack thereof to both families, who thought it was just adorable.

Now, there was a new piece on the board. Sai. And this character just screamed, "I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude." He wasn't going to put much thought into possible classified information, just like he wasn't going to connect the dots about Naruto.

He could use Sai.

He got up, Hinata got up. Typical. Sai was walking towards them. He lifted a hand in greeting when he was close enough, and Sai mimicked. Creepy. He took a step forward, and Hinata took a step forward. He tripped Hinata, and Hinata fell. Right on top of Sai. In a kiss.

Success.

If Hinata thought of someone else, she's not thinking about him. If Sai could just be a human for an hour a day, he could stand the guy long enough until he could leave both parties.