"Jack, I'm sorry that you're grieving today, but telling Sam she wouldn't even understand in the slightest when she was the one comforting you every year, helping you through this every year, that isn't fair. And I think you used a pretty bad language to underline your feelings."

"God, I'm an idiot."

"Yes, you are!"

"Do you know why she came here today?"

"Yes Jack, I know why. But it isn't on me to tell you."

"But please tell me, is she sick?"

"Why do you ask?"

"She rushed to the bathroom and I heard her vomit for quite some time."

"Oh god, and you never once thought about taking care of her?"

"I was drunk Cassie, I couldn't think straight."

"She's not sick, don't worry about that. The situation must have upset her."

"I'm so sorry, I don't even know why it's so hard on me today. He would have been 16 this year. Maybe I'm trying to process that I'm never going to teach him how to drive a car, how to cope with the first love sickness..."

"You did that with me. And you did great. I know how to drive and I know most of the boys aren't worth the effort."

"Ouch, I get that. And yes, it was nice teaching you all this stuff."

"It doesn't mean you'll never be able to do that again..." she wasn't sure how to approach the topic of children without telling him and betraying Sam's trust.

"No Cass, I had my chance and screwed up. I failed my son and now I screwed up with Sam. The one person I vowed to have and to hold, for better, for worse, to love and to cherish."

"Calm down, Jack. Go to bed, sleep, get sober and tomorrow we'll see more. Let me talk to Sam. I'll take care of her, ok?"

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

"Ok, Cass. I'll call her tomorrow. I'm not able to fly over because the President needs me here for negotiations the next two weeks, but I'll try everything to make it up to her."

"Alright. Goodnight Jack!"

"Bye honey!"

Cassie picked Sam up at the airport, she immediately hugged her wholeheartedly. It felt like Sam was all out of energy and needed the support just to recharge a bit to be able to make it actually home. She was pale and you could see that she had been crying.

In the safe of her home she sat down and watched her surrogate daughter set up everything to make some tea.

Sam recounted to her in detail the troubling behavior of Jack, the hurtful words he spoke, and the actions that had left her deeply wounded. With a heavy heart, she confided in her, sharing the immense pain she had experienced as a result of it all.

Cassie couldn't believe what she heard, she knew from her phone call with Jack that he was struggling with himself, with this day, and with the emotions of grief that popped up so heavily today, but she was horrified. How could she help them fix that again?

"I'm so sorry! I won't defend what he did, she sure deserves to suffer for his actions, but he couldn't have meant all this the way he said it. He is grieving, Charlie would have turned 16 this year... It's hard on him. Try to think about it when he calls you. I don't say you should forgive him easily, but you're going to be parents. And I know he will be thrilled. He will be afraid, of that I'm sure, but with our support he will get over his fears of screwing up again and will be the best Dad ever."

"What would I do without you?" Sam kissed the top of Cassie's head. "I'm pretty tired, I'm turning in. Thanks for everything."

"Night Sam. I love you."

When Sam went into work the next day Cassandra was already at the college. It was a quiet day at work, that suited her well because she tried to fight her nausea the whole morning. Not willing to vomit at work.

However she made an appointment with her gynecologist in the afternoon to confirm the home pregnancy test and to get her vitamins and everything she may need. She wasn't willing to let the airforce know by now because as soon as it would be updated in her file Jack would know.

When she sat on the gynecology chair and saw her child on the ultrasound for the first time she knew nothing in the galaxy could make her give up that little baby. If Jack wanted it or not, she would become a mom.

She packed her maternity passport, the first photos of her baby and her prenatal vitamins and headed home.

As soon as she entered her home she saw her answering machine blinking, indicating that someone tried to call her and left a message. She didn't need to look closer to know that it was Jack. 10 missed calls. She tried to calm herself down, but wasn't nearly ready to face him.

She turned towards the kitchen as the phone rang again. The answering machine sprung to life.

"Hey Sam, it's me...again...i think you figured it out by now...again I'm sorry! I can't say how much... I know I'm an idiot... I can't even explain why yesterday was so hard on me... The last few years it was...ok...I mean...as ok as it can be... You guys were around to help me... Maybe it's this... that I was all by myself... I swore I would never grabbing alcohol in grieve again... And by the time you showed up, I was in so deep... I didn't even realize... Whatever I said please know that I'm sorry... A few things I can remember and I'm not proud... It's not what I'm thinking so I have no idea why I said it... Sam, I'm sorry for throwing you out...of course this is your home too. Our home... You're always welcome here... And your right... Not just a month a go, I would gladly catch the opportunity to surprise you, to show up on your doorstep and show you how much I love you... Sam, if youre home, please pick up the phone!... Okay, I get it. You don't want to talk... I screwed up and I'm sorry I hurt you. That was never my intention. I swear I'll never gonna drink again, but please forgive me. I love you so much! I'm sure I can't stand losing you. Please forgive me. Call me when you're ready! I love you Sam!"

Damn hormones, why couldn't she stop crying? She loved this stupid man, no matter what. She swore in good times and bad... This must be the bad times she thought. They would make it, but she wasn't ready to forgive him so soon. She knew he had a right to know about his child, but she would tell him when she was ready to forgive. She could imagine that she needed all her love for him to convince him that indeed he was a good father and would be in the future.

She let a few days pass by, still angry and caught up in her work. One day she passed out from exhaustion, but woke up right in time to stop them calling her husband. Convincing the doctor that she only worked too much and ate too little before he could run more detailed tests on her. He put her on medical leave for the rest of the week.

Occasionally Jack called and left a message behind, but he knew better than to put pressure on his wife. She would talk to him when she was ready.

He cursed because he was so clamped in meeting after meeting that he had barely time to eat, even less time to take a day or two off to fly out to Sam to make things right and apologize in person.

He sat on a sofa in the oval office, head in his hands, looking down on his shoes, waiting for President Hayes.

"Jack, sorry I left you waiting. But you know how it is, one Ambassador couldn't stop talking even if we had already agreed with him." He stopped in front of the General and looked at him carefully. Were those tears in the eyes of the tough General he got to know quite well over the last year? "What's wrong, Jack?"

"It's nothing Sir, I'm sorry."

"It's not nothing Jack, I can see that."

"It's personal, Sir. It shouldn't be your concern and it definitely doesn't belong here."

"That's bullshit Jack, I started thinking we were sort of friends. You're the only honest person around and if you're not ok this is my concern. So titles aside, what's bothering you?" Hayes said, sitting down next to Jack.

"I'm pretty sure I screwed up my marriage, Henry."

Hayes took a deep breath before answering. "What did you do, Jack? And with whom?"

"No! No, it's not what you think. I would never betray my wife."

"Then what have you done that would cause Colonel Carter to question her marriage to you? You two waited so long to be together."

"You know Henry, words sometimes can hurt much more than any actions ever could. I couldn't get to Colorado Springs last week, so I took the afternoon off. You might remember that day."

"I do, you were fighting to get that day off, but never told me why."

"I lost a son, Henry. Before the first mission to Abydoss. He... He shot himself accidentally with my personal gun. It was the date of his death."

Hayes inhaled sharply "God, Jack. I really didn't know that. If you only had said something, we would have worked it out."

"Thanks. The last few years were bearable because I had my family around, but this year I couldn't visit his grave and was all by myself... I don't know. It hit me. I needed that afternoon to drown my sorrow. I drank to forget. But then Sam appeared out of nowhere. I wasn't prepared to see her and I was drunk. She didn't realize what day it was, I still don't know why she showed up that day and what she wanted to tell me, but she was there nonetheless. I was mean, I couldn't think straight and a lot of what was said I can't even remember, but I threw her out. I really really hurt her. She isn't talking to me right now, and never answered any of my phone calls. I'm scared, Henry. Scared that I pushed her away and she's not coming back. And I'm sorry to bother you with this."

"Oh Jack, what a misery. Just let me have a quick look at the schedules. What do you say, there is a meeting with General Landry about the actual situation of the SGC the day after tomorrow. He should have come here, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind an inspection of the Head of Homeworld Security. And while you're in the neighborhood, why don't you take a few days off... Maybe a week and drop in on your wife?"

Jack lifted his head, not believing what he heard. "You'd do that for me?"

"Jack, of course. I'm the President, not inhuman."

"Thank you so much. I'll let you know when I'll be back."

"Take your time Jack."

Meanwhile in Nevada Sam got a call from the SGC. They needed her expertise on their latest project. Daniel was looking forward to seeing her again and called her to let her know that Landry got a guest quarter ready for her. He was leaving to meet up with the top brass in Washington to fill them in on the latest news.

When she arrived the day later she went straight to Daniel's lab. She wanted to say 'hi' before she got caught up in her work with the science team.

"Oh, hi Sam! It's good to see you." He said, reaching out for her to give her a welcoming hug.

"You too, Daniel. I really missed you."

"Did you see Landry on your way down?"

"Landry? Didn't you say he left for Washington for a meeting?"

"Yes, but guess what? The Head of Homeworld Security decided it was time for an in person inspection of the SGC. So they are here."

"Here?" She nearly shouted. "Jack is here?" panic flared in her eyes before she fainted.

'Medical team to level 18, I repeat, medical team to level 18. Dr. Jackson's lab.'

The two General jumped out of their chairs and made their way towards level 18. When they arrived they only saw the medical team disappeare with the stretcher towards the infirmary.

Surprised, they noticed Daniel standing in his doorway.

"Dr. Jackson? Care to explain what's going on?" Hank Landry demanded.

"I don't know, Sir. We were just talking and all of a sudden she fainted. I instantly called the infirmary."

"Who fainted?"

"Sam!"

"Sam?"

"Yeah, Sam! I thought you knew she was here. She came to say hello before she wanted to start her work with the science team. But I recall she was as surprised that you are here, as you are right now. Gosh, don't you guys talk together?"

"What is she doing here, Daniel? And why the hell is my wife at the infirmary?"

"She was called in because they needed her expertise. And if you ask me why she fainted I would say because she has worked too hard the last couple of weeks. She didn't look good. She was so pale and thin."

"God, Cassie promised me she isn't sick."

"What does Cassie have to do with this?"

"Look, Daniel, I screwed up and we're not on speaking terms right now. So I'm not aware of my wife's condition right now. Believe me I'm trying to make up for what I did and I won't stop unless there isn't the slightest chance anymore, but right now I gotta go and see her. See that she's ok."

Daniel was stunned by his friend's revelation. Landry just nodded and told Jack of course that it was ok for him to go to the infirmary.