Notes

Olivia killed Jenna, not Elliot. She left the police force in 2011. Elliot and her kept in touch. Olivia met William Lewis (there's a reason I made it Lewis, which will be evident in later chapters), got pregnant, and married him in 2016. In December 2016, Olivia gave birth to her daughter Starr (named after Elliot) - and that's when she stopped all contact with Elliot.

CHAPTER ONE

It had been over a decade since Olivia had left the NYPD, and nearly five years since she'd seen or talked to Elliot. After she had shot and killed Jenna, she couldn't return, despite IAB clearing her. She had killed a child, and she couldn't handle it. Elliot supported her choice, and they stayed in touch. Olivia tried her best to maintain that relationship, because he was all she had. She couldn't see her life without Elliot in it, in some capacity.

But, after Olivia met her now husband, William Lewis, her contact with Elliot decreased greatly. The last time she saw Elliot was five years ago on Christmas, the day she gave birth to her daughter, Starr. After Starr was born, that's when Olivia's nightmare began. If anyone had ever told Olivia that she would be in an abusive marriage for years, she would have said they were insane. She'd always thought she'd just leave, but she thought wrong.

The first time Lewis hit her Starr was a month old. The second time was Valentine's Day, and that one put Olivia in the hospital for nearly a week. The abuse continued off and on from that moment. Then, the rapes started. She couldn't believe she had let it get that bad. Once, about two years ago, after one of the most brutal nights, she picked up her phone and dialed Elliot's number. But, when she heard his voice, she hung up. Lewis saw the call when the phone bill came, and she paid big for that one.

As the years went on, Olivia got used to the abuse…and to the rapes. But, last night – last night was the worst it had ever been. She had left at the first chance she got. And now she and Starr were standing in front of Elliot's door. Olivia felt the rain hit her face as she contemplated if she was going to actually knock. She looked down at her daughter, and in that moment, she knew she had to knock. Olivia lightly tapped on the door, not sure if she actually wanted him to open it.

Elliot heard the knock at the door, and was seriously wondering why someone was at his house at 2:30 in the morning. He opened the door, absolutely not expecting to see who he saw. He noticed the bruises immediately and instantly wanted to kill whoever had put them on her. When he saw her daughter, he got a little sad. He didn't know the child - the child he had believed she deserved before even she did. Elliot broke the silence as he kept staring at her, because it was obvious that Olivia wasn't going to.

"Liv? Are you okay? Come on in, it's soaking wet out here…"

Olivia didn't say a word and walked into Elliot's with Starr. They made sure Starr was entertained with a cartoon and then Olivia and Elliot walked into a separate room. She couldn't read his face and he didn't want to keep looking at hers, because of the bruises.

"Liv, answer my question. Are you ok?"

She shook her head, and looked into his blue eyes. Oh god, she had missed him so much. Lewis would always tell her that Elliot probably didn't miss her, or worse, hated her. After a while, Olivia believed him. But, looking into Elliot's eyes right now, she didn't see hatred. She saw anger. Was he mad at her? Would he hit her too? She hated herself at that moment. This was Elliot.. she knew he'd never lay a hand on her. Elliot reached out for her hand, and was glad when she enclosed her hand in his.

"Did Lewis cause those bruises, Liv?"

Olivia nodded. He slowly grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her.

"When did it start?" He knew the answer. It had to be why she stopped talking to him.

"The hitting started after Starr was born. The rest came later. The first time he hit Starr was last night. That's when I left. I need to go back though, but… Starr…. I want you to keep her. Please, El. Please save my baby from this hell! I can handle it..but she can't!"

She was crying hysterically at this point. Elliot walked her over to the couch and gently sat her down. He cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.

"You're BOTH staying here. Liv, you're not going back to that man. I am not allowing that. I don't care if "you can handle it," you're not going to.

Olivia relaxed in his arms. Lewis was wrong. Elliot didn't hate her. She looked at him and softly smiled.

"You don't hate me, do you?"

That confused Elliot. He shook his head immediately.

"Absolutely not. I missed you so much. And, I wish you had called or came here long before now. You did call though right? Two years ago? You just hung up, Liv. Why? Why didn't you tell me? I would have done anything for you. All you had to do was ask…"

She pulled out of his arms, reluctantly. She needed to check on Starr. She walked into Elliot's bedroom where Starr was watching cartoons. She didn't seem affected at all. When Olivia turned around, Elliot was standing behind her.

"I'm a horrible mother," she cried softly. That was her biggest fear. That she proved everyone who doubted her mothering skills right. Elliot shook his head.

"I don't believe that, Olivia. Should you have left years ago? Yes. But, does staying make you a horrible mother? No. You said he only hit her once, and what did you do? You left. You got her out of the situation. Immediately."

Olivia disagreed with his logic. If anything, she should have known better than to expect things to change when they started going badly.

"I still feel like an idiot. I was a cop for years, El. I should've left immediately. If not after the hitting, then after….the rest…"

As her voice trailed, Elliot realized that was the second time she had said 'the rest.' His heart sank in his chest. He looked at Olivia, taking a deep breath before his next question.

"Liv, has he raped you?"

Olivia broke completely at that question. Starr heard the crying, and turned to look back at her mother, before coming to stand in front of Olivia.

"Mama, don't cry…"

Elliot moved away from mother and daughter. He stood watching Starr try to comfort Olivia. Olivia was a shell of who he remembered. Even after Jenna, she didn't crumble. When she left SVU, Elliot missed her, but he also wondered if it would be good for her. He still had her in his life after she left. When she met Lewis, he was happy for her - she seemed happy. She got pregnant fast, and they were married. Elliot literally gave her away to the man - thinking she'd be safe and happy. He walked out of the room and picked up Olivia's purse. Picking up her wallet, he opened it. He smiled when he saw she had a picture of them in her wallet. He picked up her driver's license and wrote down the address. He grabbed a notepad and scribbled a note for Olivia. Taking his spare key out of the kitchen drawer, he slid the key on Olivia's keychain. Reaching across the counter, he picked up his gun, and walked out.

It took Olivia some time to calm herself and Starr down. She walked out of the bedroom expecting Elliot to be out there. When he was gone, she was confused. She then saw the note. Picking it up off the counter, she opened it.

Liv,

I'm gonna fix this. I'm gonna make sure that piece of shit never hurts you or Starr again. If things go badly, please don't blame yourself. I told you years ago, for better or worse. And unlike your husband, I meant it.

PS: there's a key to my place on your keychain. Security alarm code is…. 4015. Don't laugh.

PPS: If I don't come back, tell my kids I love them. Kathy's number is on the back of this letter. She'll get you in touch with the kids.

PPPS: I love you Olivia.

Semper Fi,

El

Olivia grabbed her phone, frantically dialing Elliots number, but it went straight to voice-mail. Feeling the tears streaming down her face, she turned the letter over and sure enough, there was Kathy's number.

"Oh, please come back to me, El," she said to herself.

TO BE CONTINUED