Calvin rolled to the side as the clawed leg, four times the size of him, slammed down into the dirt. He scrambled to his feet, narrowly dodging three more lightning-fast claws that lunged desperately for him.
Stupendous Man is cornered, Calvin thought. He twirled his coat, the fabric forming a billowing wall for all of a second. A claw ripped through it, but missed the boy and met only empty air. Calvin sprung through the air in a mighty leap, hurtling far away from his foe.
He crashed to the ground several feet away, rolling through the dirt. Moaning, Calvin clutched at his head. He felt hot as a stove and could hear a high keening. And how did he get over here? What was going on?
Another screech rang out as claws scrambled through the underbrush towards Calvin, but a deeper roar eclipsed it as Hobbes pounced on the monster, knocking it to the ground. The tiger leapt back to his feet, his eyes glowing green, as he finally got a good look at their attacker.
It was about as tall as an adult human, and twice as long. It was covered in chitin, the bone-white plating as hard as armor. It had a segmented body like that of an insect, with three legs on each side. And its head… Hobbes shuddered at the sight. Six eyes. Razor-sharp mandibles emerging from a mouthful of teeth. A crest splitting the face in half.
Whatever it was, this creature was not from Earth.
Screeching, it charged at him. Hobbes let out a snarl and rushed at it head-on. He swatted at it with his paws, but it barely seemed to notice as its front legs reared up and struck at him. Hobbes was sent flying backwards. Gasping for breath, he climbed back to his feet.
The monster allowed no time for recovery as it rushed at him with astonishing speed, swiping with one leg, then another. Hobbes desperately leapt side to side, narrowly dodging each time. The monster lunged forward, razor-sharp mandibles flashing, but Hobbes leapt into the air and landed on its back. It gave a cry of surprise and began thrashing madly, trying to throw him off, but Hobbes hung on grimly, beating at its shell with his paws.
Calvin watched, wide-eyed, as his friend risked his life. He started forwards to help, but stopped when he saw the dead man lying on the forest floor. What if he wound up like that?
Hobbes bared his fangs and, with a snarl, bit into the monster's shell, right into the neck. Green blood oozed out as the monster let out another screech, this one of pain rather than rage. Desperately, it threw itself at a boulder, slamming its back into the stone. Hobbes let out a cry of pain and fell off. Hissing, the monster staggered away, its legs scrabbling to maintain balance through the pain.
Hobbes staggered once more to his feet. He wasn't in great shape, but neither was his foe. If he could just get lucky, he could have a chance and-
The monster let out a burbling, slurping cough, like someone sick choking on phlegm. Rearing up, it spat a stream of liquid at Hobbes. The tiger narrowly dodged it, and it splattered on a tree. The liquid hissed and bubbled, quickly melting through the trunk and sending the tree crashing to the ground.
Hobbes gulped. Well. Acid spit. This was… suboptimal.
The monster lunged, its claws bared, as more acid burbled in its jaws. Seizing his chance, Hobbes dropped low to the ground and sprang, slamming into his foe's underbelly. Hobbes' fangs sunk into the weaker armor. The monster let out an ear-piercing scream, far louder than before, but quickly cut off as Hobbes twisted his neck. There was a wet crunch and the monster collapsed to the ground, limp and motionless. Hobbes stood up, his mouth covered in green blood.
Calvin finally found his voice. "Is it dead?" he said.
"I think so," said Hobbes, walking away from the corpse. "But we need to find out what it was and where-"
It happened so fast, Calvin barely even saw it move. In one second, the monster was lying on the ground. The next, it was a blur, lunging for Hobbes. The tiger spun around, but it was too late to do anything but grab the beast's mandibles as it slammed him to the ground. Hobbes was screaming, the monster was shrieking, acid was dripping from its teeth and about to spray in Hobbes' face, and what did he do, what could he do-
My finger found the trigger right-quick like the flash of a dame's smile. The sound of the hammer clickin' back mighta been an orchestra from heaven from where I was standin', but there's no greater music than the followup, and let me tell you, I wrote a symphony.
The gunshots rang out through the forest- one, two, three. The monster gave one last discordant cry, then collapsed, green bleeding out of both sides. With ease that could have seemed practiced, Calvin checked the chamber of the dead man's revolver, clicked the safety on, blew a plume of smoke off the barrel, and carefully slid it into his coat.
"Calvin, how did you-" Hobbes started.
"Hobbes! Look what you've done!" said Calvin, angrily striding towards the tiger.
"What I've done?! Look what he did!" said Hobbes, angrily gesturing to the monster's corpse.
"What is the first rule of horror movies!?" Calvin demanded.
"Um-" said Hobbes.
"Never turn your back on the monster until you're sure it's dead!" said Calvin. "And especially don't say something stupid, like 'I think it's dead'! That's just asking to get eaten! Hobbes, I can't be associated with someone like you, you'll bring down my reputation."
"Shut up for one moment and think," said Hobbes. "What is this thing? What's it doing here?"
Calvin shrugged. "I dunno, but I think they might." He pointed over the treetops, as a light descended from the night sky.
No- two lights. Headlights.
Galaxoid and Nebular's silver UFO landed before Calvin and Hobbes, extending its tripod legs. The escalator unfolded and the two aliens emerged. "Earth Potentate," said Galaxoid. "There is a matter of grave importance concerning your planet."
"It would be best if you board our ship," added Nebular, a weary look on their previously impassive face.
Calvin grinned. "An invitation aboard a UFO? Don't have to tell me twice!" He hurried up the escalator, practically shoving Galaxoid and Nebular aside in his rush. Hobbes sighed and slowly followed.
Thirty minutes later, the two Earthlings hadn't quite managed to stop staring. The inside of the UFO was the most advanced thing they had ever seen. Countless tiny multicolored buttons covered various consoles throughout the ship. A large pixelated screen in the center of the room showed esoteric patterns and numbers which Galaxoid and Nebular somehow seemed to understand.
"So, exactly what did you call that thing again?" said Calvin, running his hand over a touchpad and watching an automated door open and close in wonder.
"I think your government files call them Externix Drones," said Nebular. The screen changed to a barely-even-grainy picture of the Drone's head. "Incredible strength, speed, and reflexes. Acidic saliva. Two hearts."
"Yeah, I'm acquainted with our mutual friend's stubborn reluctance to die," said Hobbes. "But where did it come from? What's it doing here?"
"The Externix are an alien race," said Galaxoid. "They are little more than animals, but are one of the largest threats to sentient life in the galaxy. They lay eggs on asteroids and alter their course to head for planets. Then after the crash, the eggs hatch and the Drones begin hunting."
Calvin's eyes widened. "That meteor shower last night! It wasn't scheduled, and it hit right in this forest! That must be where these things came from!"
"I wouldn't say they're that dangerous, though," said Hobbes. "I mean, I beat that one. Sure, it nearly killed me, but I'm not the only tiger in existence. Surely they couldn't destroy all of Earth."
"On their own, Externix Drones cannot shape the fate of worlds. However, they are never on their own," said Galaxoid. "Where there is one, there will always be more. Especially once the Queen egg hatches."
"Queen egg?" said Calvin, fairly certain he wasn't going to like the answer.
"Each meteor shower will have one Queen egg," said Nebular, taking over as Galaxoid went to work at some consoles. "It will hatch into a creature capable of laying countless Externix Drone eggs. Enough Drones to bring about the death knell of worlds."
Calvin and Hobbes were horrified. Something capable of destroying entire planets had arrived on Earth, and they were the only ones who knew about it. Calvin broke the silence. "Then we've got to wipe these things out before then, right?"
"Of course," said Nebular. "That's what we're doing right now."
The UFO started to shake and Calvin and Hobbes got a weightless feeling. Calvin rushed over to a window and saw they were taking into the air.
"That sounds like a plan," said Hobbes. "But where are we going?"
"High orbit," said Nebular. "We don't want to be on the ground for the photon bombardment."
Calvin spun back around toward the two Maers'tak. "I'm sorry, the what?!"
"We've requested a photon bombardment on this area from High Command. It'll wipe out most of this state. Standard operating procedure for Externix," said Galaxoid.
"It's the only way to be sure," added Nebular helpfully.
"OKAY! How about nope to that little idea, alright?!" said Calvin, his face going white. "My house is down there!" Hobbes looked somewhat ill.
"It'll only be one little state. Barely a few million people," said Galaxoid.
"Still no," Hobbes quickly squeaked. Calvin nodded much too fast.
"Well, what do you propose be done about the Externix infestation?" demanded Galaxoid.
"I, uh, well, we could, um… Oh! What if we found this 'Queen egg' and destroyed it before it hatched! Would that work?" stammered out Calvin desperately.
The two aliens paused. "It would be more difficult-"
"Thatsfinenoworrieswellhandleitgladtobeofservice!" said Calvin in one breath.
Galaxoid sighed and slithered over to a screen displaying a graph. They said something in what Calvin presumed to be the alien language, and received a similar-sounding reply. Then they turned back to the two. "Well, the photon bombardment was canceled," they sighed. "I hope you're happy. That would've been a beautiful sunset. You could've seen the mushroom cloud from both your planet's poles!"
"Another time," said Nebular reassuringly.
"I'm sure we'll get over it," said Hobbes, his voice still sounding a little like he was on helium.
"ANYWAY!" said Calvin. "Would you two mind dropping us off at our roof?"
"Of course, Earth Potentate," said Nebular, tapping at a few controls. Hobbes felt a brief jolt, then everything stopped. He looked out the window to see their house.
"That was efficient," the tiger remarked as the escalator unfolded in front of Calvin and Hobbes' window.
Calvin headed over to the escalator, but Hobbes' tail stopped him. "Wait," said Hobbes. "Exactly what does an Externix Queen egg look like? Mind describing it?"
"We'll do you one better," said Nebular. They hit a few buttons and a screen changed to show what looked like a small green crystal. "That's a protective film around it," said Nebular. "Externix form them in the asteroid, but when they hatch, they break right through it. Spills a good bit of acid everywhere."
"We'll have to watch out for that," Hobbes muttered as he and Calvin descended down the escalator and stepped through their window. The UFO folded up its escalator and tripod, and flew away.
Hobbes staggered towards the bed and fell into it, asleep in moments. Calvin hurried to hang up his coat and join him, but felt a weight in the pocket. Calvin paused and slowly took out the revolver.
How had he managed to fire it? Now that he looked at it again, he was barely sure he could remember what the parts were.
Carefully, Calvin wrapped the gun in a sock and placed it at the bottom of his dresser. Couldn't hurt to be prepared.
Calvin's walk to school, normally filled with grumbling at his classes and Moe and now his therapist, was almost entirely silent. His mind whirled with the knowledge he had gained. He and Hobbes had to find that egg, but where? It could be almost anywhere in the forest, and-
"Wow! It's beautiful, Susie!"
Broken out of his reverie, Calvin whirled to see Susie talking to a couple other girls. "Yeah, my dad found it just the other night," she was saying. "He had it fitted by a jeweler, and then he gave it to me!" She finally noticed Calvin. "Oh! Hi, Calvin!" she said. "Isn't this necklace great?"
Calvin stared at Susie in growing horror. He knew he probably looked like an idiot standing there slack-jawed, and Moe was lumbering down the hallway towards him, but he didn't care about that right now.
Because hanging from Susie's neck, on a golden chain, was the egg of the Externix queen.
The soldiers made their way through the forest, their camouflage uniforms blending in with the trees. This was somewhat offset by their swaggering, confident walk that threw caution to the wind as they brandished their rifles.
The man in the white coat calmly led them at a brisk pace despite his cane. One soldier turned to him. "So, doc, what sorta bug we lookin' for here? 'Cause back in kindergarten, I did a collection. Maybe I know something!"
Dr. DeLawrence sipped his tonic and continued walking forward impassively. The soldier scowled. "Cheery guy," he muttered.
"The doctor is a man of few words," one of his comrades explained. "Honestly, I like it that way. When he does talk, it's just-"
DeLawrence dropped the tonic and signaled a halt. The soldiers immediately stopped before a large burrow, recently dug from the looks of it. "It's here," he said.
The soldiers slowly crept forward towards the burrow, rifles at the ready. Two of them took position at either end of the burrow entrance, while another stood before it and drew a grenade.
Should've been simple. But it wasn't.
Two-foot-long wriggling worms suddenly dropped onto the soldiers at the entrance, sinking teeth and mandibles into their flesh. The soldiers screamed and grabbed at the worms, hurling them away. But it was too late: they had turned their backs to the cave.
The deadly insect legs of an Externix Drone flew out, striking the soldiers and sending them flying away. The soldier with the grenade was forced to duck and cover to dodge a spray of acid. The two remaining soldiers opened fire with their rifles, but hit nothing as the Externix rushed around their bullets and sliced a tree in half, which they had to jump to evade.
DeLawrence reached into his coat and drew a leather-grip pistol. The monster turned towards him and rushed, screeching in glee at easy prey.
The first bullet struck it in the front left leg, hitting precisely the joint between the segments. The next bullet hit the joint in the front right leg. The next two hit the middle leg's segments. Green blood sprayed as the Externix Drone collapsed to the ground, four of its legs unusable. Fear in its eyes, it sprayed a stream of acid at DeLawrence. The doctor dodged with incredible speed for a man with a cane, then put two bullets in the Drone's throat. Acid sprayed out as the creature let out a pathetic squeal, then died.
DeLawrence calmly loaded in another clip, then put a round in each of its hearts. Apparently satisfied, he walked away, back to the soldiers.
They stumbled to their feet, groaning. "Sir, that was-" one of them started.
"Absolutely pathetic," DeLawrence cut him off. "You were meant to kill the Externix Drones, and instead you cower in fear at the first sign of danger." Despite his harsh admonishment, his tone never changed from the inflectionless monotone.
"We're not trained to fight aliens!" one of them shouted angrily. "If they'd been Viet Cong, you would've seen-"
"But they were not and so the topic is pointless," said DeLawrence. "Do a sweep of that burrow. Check for others."
"I thought you said they don't let other bugs in their burrows, sir," said a soldier.
"I gave you an order. Follow it," said DeLawrence, walking away from the troop and drawing a radio from his belt.
The soldiers, murmuring disgruntledly, began to march into the burrow. DeLawrence flipped the radio to call the outpost. The reply came quickly.
"Doctor, what's your status?" said a woman.
"The Externix was terminated. All of my guards are KIA. Send Command an order for reinforcements," said DeLawrence.
"Of course, sir," said the woman. "I presume a Grey Squadron?"
"Unless there are any soldiers better trained for combat against aliens, no."
"Anything else?"
"Yes. There is an empty Externix burrow forty feet of my current position. We cannot allow other such creatures to make use of it. Commence a Delta-V9C procedure."
"Forty feet, you said?" said the woman as typing washed through the background.
DeLawrence continued walking. He didn't need to turn back to know what would happen.
High in the Earth's atmosphere, a red-eyed satellite glared down at the burrow. A tiny metal tube was launched and flew towards the ground as silent as a whisper. The soldiers never even saw the smart bomb coming.
DeLawrence would ensure this little distraction didn't take too long. After all, there was still the boy to worry about.