The Straw Hats watch the Kung Fu Panda Trilogy

by Inverted Descension

The Straw Hats need a break. Thankfully, they dock at Showreel Island, where they watch the story of how a noodle boy turned into the Dragon Warrior, found inner peace and became a Legend

3. KFP 1 Act Two: The Warrior Blossoms

The Straw Hats React to Kung Fu Panda

I do not own any of the properties discussed in this piece of non-profit fan-based material. Any trademarked materials are strictly the sole property of their respective owners. With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy this reaction.

Note: Voiceover/ Flashback section will be underlined in order to distinguish between them and the plot of the film.

Act 2: The Warrior Blossoms

The morning gong resonated across the training hall from the bell tower. Inside the Bunkhouse, Shifu stood to attention, his grimace as rigid as ever. Within milliseconds of the final chime, the Five flitted into the hallway, before standing ready for inspection.

"Good Morning Master." Shifu felt a dying ember of pride, as he was met with a chorus of greetings from his students.

"What I wouldn't give for everyone to rise and shine when I ask." Nami huffed irritably to the side.

"Don't worry Nami-dear. I'm always bright and ready for you whenever you want!" Sanji swooned, leaning towards her for validation that would never come.

"Yeah. Thanks." She responded, dryer than the plains of Alabasta.

All except for one.

"Panda!" There was no answer from the guest bunk room. "Panda, wake up!"

Shifu threw the doors open, only to be met with an empty room. A small chuckle escaped his lips.

"He's quit." The Master said simply. Within minutes both the Five, and himself, were ascending the steps to the training courtyard.

"What?! I thought he was all psyched to go after that talk with the turtle dude?" Franky questioned.

"I hate to break it to you, man. But I think it'll take more than a pep talk for this guy to be Dragon Warrior." Zoro answered plainly.

"You guys are all too cynical. A real man (or panda) would never give up on their dream. Not when he's this close!" Usopp retorted, the situation clearly getting his blood boiling.

"Alright geez, no need to yell". The swordsman grumbled. "We're in a public place."

Out of all of them, Tigress seemed the most pleased by the news of Po's absence, an uncharacteristic smile flashing across her maw.

"What can we do now Master?" Viper questioned, slithering up to match Shifu's pace. "With the Panda gone, who will be the Dragon Warrior?"

"Oh! Me! I can be Dragon Warrior. I'm pretty strong, and I already know Kung Fu!" Chopper lifted his small hoof as high as he could.

"Yes, but that would also mean you'd have to fight the megalomaniacal snow leopard, with razor-sharp claws, who defeated an entire army of rhinos. Would you like to do that." Robin asked innocently, her darker sensibilities shining through.

The reindeer gulped in realisation. "On the other hand; I think Tigress would also be a great choice." He quickly sat back down in his seat feeling slightly embarrassed.

"All we can do is resume our training and trust that in time, the true Dragon Warrior will be revealed." Shifu calmly assured the reptilian Master, before swinging open the courtyard doors with a new reinvigoration.

Said reinvigoration was swiftly lost as he came face-to-butt with his new 'student', perched between two training horses by his split, stubby legs. Both Shifu and the Five were taken aback immediately.

"NO!" Brook screamed in abject terror. "That's not the kind of butt shot I was looking for."

For his comment, he was met with a swift fist to the skull from Nami. "That's disgusting! We're VIP's. Can't you at least act like it?"

"I'm sawwy." Brook moaned through bruise lumps that had somehow formed around his skull.

"What are you doing here?!" Shifu demanded impatiently.

Po whipped his head around to the source of the question, "Hey! Good morning Master!" He saluted awkwardly from his uncomfortable perch. "I just though I'd warm up a little." The panda clumsily attempted to stretch to the side, in an effort to lift his leg, before ultimately relenting.

"That's good. A warrior should always get in a good stretch before the real work begins. Especially someone as… physically gifted as you". Jimbei commented whilst stroking his beard.

"No Jimbei. He's stuck, not stretching. There's a difference." Sanji responded.

"Nonsense. The young man seems to have everything in hand." The helmsman rebuked.

"You're stuck." Shifu stated plainly.

"Stuck?! Whaaaa? Pfft… stuck does this look stuck to… yeah I'm stuck." Po finally conceded, realising there was no saving himself from the humiliation.

"See?" The cook gestured.

"Waha. Easy mistake." The fishman sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

Shifu gestured to Crane, "Help him."

"Oh dear," Crane sighed morosely.

The Master gingerly approached the noodle boy, before grabbing the waistband of his pants with his feet and flapping away frantically, trying to pull him off the horses. With a strain, he pulled Po free, who, uselessly, plopped onto his back.

"Thank you." Po said as he dusted himself off and got to his feet.

"Don't mention it." The hatted Master responded in monotone.

"No really, I appreciate-"

"Ever." The tone of the single word gave no room for discussion.

"This has gotta be one of the worst cases of 'never meet your heroes' that I've ever seen. And I've had to knock out my hero." Said Chopper, remembering his unfortunate exploits back on Thriller Bark.

"They aren't reacting that badly. He's the one swooped in and got a title he didn't earn." Zoro said. For him, hard work was not only a choice, but a lifestyle. Something you had to subscribe yourself to everyday. It wasn't for those unwilling to put in the effort.

Po fell silent, as Crane returned to stand with the rest of the Masters. Shifu gave a terse huff, before somehow deepening his valley-low scowl.

"You actually thought you could learn to do a full split in one night? It takes years to develop one's flexibility…" Quicker than the eye could follow, the red panda flung two ceramic boards lying by his feet into the air, Tigress stepping forward as if responding to an unheard command. "… And years longer to apply it in combat."

Shifu snapped his fingers and, instantly, Tigress leapt up to meet the boards, performing a perfect split-kick that reduced them to rubble.

"Whoa! The Tiger lady is so cool! It's like she wasn't even trying." Luffy joyously cried out.

"I know right?" Sanji said, completely reverential at the display, albeit for completely different reasons.

"You need help man." Usopp chastised.

The Master landed, and turned to glare at Po, before re-joining the group. Po watched the display, completely awestruck as the rubble from the boards rained down around him, a particularly large chunk knocking him on the head. Still dumbfounded, he picked it up before holding it behind his back.

"Put that down! The only souvenirs we collect here are bloody knuckles, and broken bones." Shifu admonished angrily.

"I don't think it'll be that difficult for me…" Brook began.

"Don't…" Franky already knew where this was going.

"… After all, bones are all I have left! Yohohoho!"

"Oh, COME ON!" The shipwright yelled.

"Yeah! Excellent!" Po bowed after throwing away the chunk of rubble. Shifu studied his expression carefully, there was not an ounce of fear in his eyes.

"Let's get started."

"Hell yeah! This is gonna be awesome!" Luffy cheered, whilst the other members of his crew shared a disconcerted look at the state of their captain, and for the future of the panda.

He would have to change that.

…

Moments later, Shifu and the Five gathered in a line in the courtyard, as Po and Viper stood face to face at the centre of the training arena. They bowed to each other before starting.

"Are you ready?" Viper asked, assuming a ready stance.

"I was born read-" Within seconds, Viper lashed out her tail, and the panda was launched into the air, before being slammed down harshly onto the unforgiving gravel. He let out a moan of pain.

"Geez that was fast, I've heard of venomous snakes before, but she's got some real bite." Franky commented in awe.

"The average panda can weight anywhere between 70-120kg. She lifted him into the air and neutralized him with only three strikes. I must admit that is impressive, especially without hands."

"I'm sorry brother! I thought you said you were ready."

Po's groan slowly turned into a barely restrained giggle. "That was AWESOME! Let's go again." He gave a Kung Fu salute, to Shifu's obvious displeasure.

"Oh great, he's one of those types." Nami groaned, having already reached her daily surplus of hot-blooded morons around twenty minutes ago.

"You mean he's funny? Yeah, he totally is." Luffy said, completely missing the point of the comment.

"HOW COULD YOU HAVE GOTTEN THAT FROM 'ONE OF THOSE TYPES?'"

The next few hours went by in a blur for Po, probably due to a concussion he developed. A sparring session with Monkey ended with a comical beating, and only a single block to the panda's name. The duel with Crane atop the upturned jade turtle proved equally fruitless, when Po was instantly thrown off the ledge and started to get tossed around it's interior like a sack of potatoes. The practice round with Mantis was the most frustrating, as the panda was clobbered an entire length around the courtyard, until the sun had begun to set.

Shifu smiled in sadistic satisfaction at Po's prone body. It vanished, as quickly as it had appeared, when the panda managed another salute.

"I've been taking it easy on you, panda, but no more!" Shifu seethed. "Your next opponent… will be me."

"Wait, what?" Jimbei yelped. "Given his current state, would a brief rest not be more appropriate?"

"What're you getting all worked up over Jimbei? He's tiny." Zoro commented.

"He's a Master of Kung Fu. You don't become that by letting an obstacle such as height get in your way."

"He also did that cool 'whoosh' thing back at the pool before. I bet he's really strong." Luffy added, as he stuffed his face with a handful of snacks.

"I'll believe it when I see it." The swordsman huffed.

Po's eyes lit up; all previous signs of malaise evaporated. "Alright! Yeah, let's go!" The members of the Five immediately froze in fear.

Po and Shifu stood to face each other at the courtyard's centre.

"Step forth," The Master commanded.

Po didn't even finish the first step, as he was swept of his feet. Shifu whirled the panda around his body with a coordinated grace, like a ribbon dancer.

"Okay. I've seen it, and I believe it." Zoro relented as his eyes bulged out of his head.

Meanwhile, the trio of Nami, Usopp and Chopper sat with their collective jaws on the floor. In stark contrast, Luffy's eyes simply beamed at the display, eating it up more than he would a slab of meat.

To any uninitiated passers-by, it may have looked comical, but the Five it merely stood as a demonstration of just how out of their league they were compared to Shifu. The Master in question threw Po to the floor and pinned his arm behind his back.

"The path to true victory is to find your opponent's weakness and make him suffer for it." He strained against the panda's natural joint motions, until an audible cracking sound could be heard by the naked ear.

"Oh ho, yeah!" Despite the pain, Po could only cheer in inspiration.

"Oh my God! Is he… enjoying this?" Usopp shrieked out of confusion.

"Maybe he's one of THOSE types instead." Nami corrected her earlier comment.

"No pain. No progress." Zoro said, simply. If anyone was to comment on a harsh training regiment it would be him.

Shifu snarled before hurling Po back to his feet. "To take his strength and use it against him."

Po was still struggling to come to his senses, as Shifu unleashed a flurry of kicks into his face that pelted him with the force equivalent to a sledgehammer. Before the panda could fall backwards, he caught his arm in a lock and tossed him to ground again, throwing him from one end of the courtyard to the other, like a ragdoll. Shifu pinned his newest student to the floor once more, before digging his fingers into the noodle boy's nostrils and yanking back harshly.

"This isn't training anymore; this is just torture." Sanji commented, knowing full well what that was like.

"Until he finally falls or quits." Shifu finished.

"But a real warrior never quits. Don't worry Master, I will never quit!" Po responded nasally from his position on the ground.

"This panda's got some serious spunk. What a man's man." Franky cheered, as a tear comprised of pure testosterone trickled down from his right eye.

"Yeah! You show that dumb fox what's what!" Luffy voiced from the side.

The comment was the straw that broke the camel's back. With a mighty tug, Shifu lifted the Panda into the air, before delivering a flying kick to his face. The force of the blow send Po crashing through the gate to the courtyard, before gravity sent him crashing down the thousand steps once more. Every single time the noodle boy connected with the stairs he let out a sharp yelp, that gradually fell in intensity the further he dropped. The Five stood at the apex, watching as the small black and white spot started to gradually fade out of view.

The Straw Hats continued to wince at every collision that the panda made with the set of stairs.

"If he's smart he won't come back up those stairs." Tigress remarked without an inch of sympathy, before walking back into the Palace.

"But he will." Monkey commented in exasperation.

"Is no-one seriously going to help him? He has to be like mushy sock filled with bone fragments by now." Chopper started to fidget uncontrollably.

"Never underestimate the power of fat, Chopper. You don't know how much it helps until it's gone." Brook commented wistfully, before staring off into the middle distance.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? THERE'S NO WAY HE SURVIVED THAT JUST BECAUSE HE'S FAT!" The doctor howled at the assumption.

Viper only sighed, "He's not gonna quit, is he?"

"He's not gonna quit bouncing, I'll tell you that." Mantis' began to chuckle, before his comment was met with a stern hiss from the snake.

"Pfft… I mean: That's not funny at all. He's probably seriously injured and needs immediate medical attention." Sanji covered his laugh, after receiving vicious glares from Chopper, who had gained a level of affinity for the panda.

They both retired to their bunks to the chorus of Po's, increasingly muffled, pained yelps.

…

"Aoo… whoohoo… EEE… OW! I thought you said acupuncture would make me feel better!" The comment was punctuated with pained gasps, as Mantis jammed another needle into Po's hide. Hours after the noodle boy had clambered his way back up the steps, he eventually managed to limp back to his bunk, wherein both Mantis and Viper were waiting for him, acupuncture therapy set in hand (or mandible in this case).

"Seriously?! Acupuncture! That's quack science that does absolutely nothing to relieve pain or help the body heal. Are these people insane?" Chopper was starting to seethe in frustration.

"Trust me it will. It's just not easy finding the right nerve points under all this…" Mantis tailed off, squidging Po's blubber in an attempt to find an entry point.

"Fat?"

"Lard?" Usopp chimed in.

"Blubber?" Zoro added.

"Adipose tissue?" Robin joined in.

"Beef?" Luffy concluded. All the talk of fat was starting to make him hungry.

"No Luffy, that's not what we're talking about." Usopp reasoned.

"I don't care. I'm hungry." The captain pouted.

"Fur. I was about to say fur." Mantis finally found purchase and jammed the needle into the panda's skin.

Po jumped in discomfort, "Sure you were," he droned skeptically.

Mantis zipped around, adjusting the needles and tapping for any nerve clusters, "Who am I to judge a warrior based on his size? I mean… look at me."

"Finally, a voice of reason. A voice that is an insect. Fantastic." Jimbei drawled as a dark haze began to hang over his head.

Po titled his head to look for the bug, completely missing his presence.

"I'm over here." Mantis signalled his position on Po's opposite shoulder by jamming in another needle, this time with a dash of fervour behind the push.

"Ah-HAH!" The panda screamed out pain yet again.

"Maybe you should take a look at this again." Viper chimed in, holding up a reference diagram of all known acupuncture meridians, over which was drawn a crudely shaped approximation of a panda.

Chopper started to fall back into his seat. He was frothing at the mouth and a prominent vein on his forehead was starting to bulge outwards.

"Goodness. I think he's having a stroke. I hope he doesn't start to decompose here in the theatre. We still need to make it through two more movies." Robin commented, her trademark sense of dark humour starting to shine through.

"Ah! Okay!" Mantis confirmed. The sounds of Po's ensuing screams reverberated throughout the bunkhouse, disturbing Monkey's peaceful mediation, and causing Crane to miss a VERY big stroke during his calligraphy practice.

"I know Master Shifu's trying to inspire me and all, but if I didn't know any better… I'd say he was trying to get rid of me." Po chuckled. His statement was met with a duo of awkward smiles, causing his own to fade.

"Oof that's got to sting." Usopp said, as his cringed in a form of sympathy for the panda.

"I know he can seem kind of heartless…" Mantis started, as he violently jabbed in another needle into Po's skin, "…But you know, he wasn't always like that."

Viper huddled in, like a child trying to share the latest piece of gossip. "According to legend, there was once a time when Master Shifu actually used to smile."

Luffy immediately spat out his food in shock. "What?! That grumpy old geezer?!" He then concocted a crudely formed mental image of the red panda with a face-wide smile before it quickly dissipated in a puff of imaginary smoke. "Nah."

"Noo…" Po muttered in disbelief, as he too started to lean in closer.

"But that was before…" Viper noticeably hesitated.

"Before what?"

The doors flew open as Tigress stood in the doorway, the orange light of the candle making her fur seem alight with diluted fury. "Before Tai Lung."

"That makes sense. That guy would ruin anyone's day. I'm grouchy just thinking about him." Zoro grunted.

"You're always grouchy, Mosshead. Don't pretend this isn't unique thing." Sanji chortled.

"You want to see just how grouchy I can be, Swirls? Come closer."

"Gladly."

In a flash of orange, both of them were downed in their seats before they could cause a bigger ruckus.

"Uh, yeah, we're not supposed to talk about him." They all turned to see Crane's silhouette standing on the wall through its thin paper surface.

"Well, if he's going to stay here, he should know." The predatory cat responded tersely, as if the discussion were a wound that needed to be treated immediately.

"Guy, guys. I know about Tai Lung." Po attempted to placate the group, only to be met with a dismissive glare from Tigress. "He was a student, the first to ever master the thousand… scrolls of kung fu… and then he turned bad… and now he's in jail."

"Thousand scrolls? And he's coming the Palace with all that skill and knowledge? This is just getting worse and worse." Jimbei lamented.

Every successive word that came from the panda's mouth reduced in both enthusiasm and pitch, as he crumbled under Tigress' gaze.

"He wasn't just a student." The Master began…

…

Many years prior, a far younger Shifu stepped out of the Training Hall Courtyard on a rainy night. By his feet he found a small baby snow leopard, draped in a bundle of stained rags. He picked up the small child and took him inside, sheltering him from the cold.

"So cute" Robin thought to herself seeing the small cub, momentarily disregarding what it would grow into.

"Shifu found him as a cub. And raised him as his son."

As the years passed the young snow leopard grew. His innate strength became apparent from a young age when, as a young boy, he effortlessly ripped off Shifu's whiskers, eliciting a unique combination of pride and pain from his father figure.

"Aww, that's weirdly heart-warming. And kinda painful looking. Reminds me of Gramps." Luffy commented, reminiscing about simpler times, before he promptly passed out from boredom, eliciting a confused reaction from his crewmates.

"… And when the boy showed talent in Kung Fu… Shifu trained him." The years continued on, with the boy falling under the Master's tutelage, until eventually he rose to the same rank. He honed himself, practiced until his body became an instrument of pure discipline and precision; all under the promise that this effort would culminate with him being granted the title of 'Dragon Warrior'. All under the promise that his father would be proud.

"Shifu trained him. He believed in him. He told him he was destined for greatness. It was never enough for Tai Lung." The snow leopard was now fully grown and had just demolished an entire legion of wooden swing bars in an awes-inspiring show of skill. Shifu beamed with pride. Oogway, from his reclusive corner of the training hall, did not.

"All this to make a father proud? Nonsense. The people in your life should always treasure who you are and what you can do. They won't be around forever." Brook said morosely. His second chance at life had given him a unique appreciation for those around him. He wouldn't change them for anything.

"He wanted the Dragon Scroll. But Oogway saw darkness in his heart and refused."

Tai Lung was filled with a righteous fury, how could this old pile of dust and scales refuse him what he had worked so hard for? In return…

"Outraged, Tai Lung laid waste to the Valley." Towns burned, families were lost, and the fallen Master's fervour consumed all in its wake.

The rest of the Straw Hats looked completely horrified. All of this because Tai Lung simply wasn't given what he wanted? It painted a continually worsening picture of the snow leopard, and how far he was willing to go to achieve his ambitions.

The snow leopard eventually returned to the Jade Palace and crashed through the gates to the Hall of Warriors, eyeing the scroll in the dragon's mouth.

"He tried to take the scroll by force. And Shifu had to destroy what he had created."

Shifu leapt towards the charging beast, angling a powerful kick towards his target. However, at the last second he could only see his son, not the rageful monster that he had become. He hesitated.

"He had to fight his own son because of some weird destiny? That's terrible." Nami clasped her hands over her mouth.

"He had to Nami. He was hurting people for something they had no control over." Brook asserted. "This was bound to happen."

"They could've found another way to reach him! They were all they had!" The navigator reasserted.

"I know Nami dear. But sometimes there is no other way." Sanji said, this time without any hint of flirtation or bravado.

"But how could he?

Shifu pulled his kick short, before it was countered by a devastating strike from the snow leopard, the blow cracking the Master's leg and sending him careening to the ground. Tai Lung leapt for the scroll, only to be intercepted by Oogway, who, with lightning speed, struck all of his pressure points, sending him crumpling into the ground in a heap. Shifu stared at what had become of his prized student, reaching out, before ultimately resigning himself to his grief.

"Oogway stopped him before? Why do they need a Dragon Warrior then?" Usopp questioned, with a reasonable line of thought.

"You seriously want to put the fate of that whole valley into the hands of that scaly old geezer? He looks like a stiff wind could blow him over now." Zoro responded.

"What are you talking about? He looks exactly the same. I should ask for his skincare routine… except I don't exactly have any to care for! Yohohoho!" Brook interjected energetically.

"Shifu loved Tai Lung like he'd never loved anyone before…"

Years later, a young Tigress gave her all in her training, striking a dummy hard enough to send it crashing into the wall. She looked towards Shifu for approval, who simply corrected her form, before walking of with a sigh. The young tiger looked crestfallen.

"…Or since."

The crew copied the young tiger's expression. It was easy for them to understand why Shifu had closed himself off. He was, after all, responsible for the creation of a monster. It didn't mean that his way of rectifying that mistake was justified either.

…

Back in the present, the group fell silent. It was incredibly rare for Tigress to share anything this intimate. She inhaled and continued.

"And now he has a chance to make things right, to train the true Dragon Warrior. And he's stuck with you… a big fat panda who treats it like a joke." Her words were like poison, each one serving to chip away at Po's already floundering self-esteem.

That was until the panda suddenly pulled the most obnoxiously, googly-eyed face in the history of China and froze in place.

"Oh, come on! We were having a moment!" The entirety of the crew, minus Robin, yelled at the screen. Their collective howl was so large that Luffy was thrown out of his seat from the intensity of the noise and woken up from his impromptu nap.

"Alright I'm up! What'd I miss?" he slurred.

Tigress was immediately incensed and raised her fist, "Oh, that is it!"

Mantis quickly popped onto Po's face and halted Tigress' fist, "Wait! My fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve!"

Po fell to the floor, revealing that every inch of his back was covered in needles.

"Ah! Why the hell is he covered in needles?!" Luffy screamed at the horrific sight.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION!" The crew's ire was now directed at him.

"And I may have also stopped his heart." The insect added before poking the panda's face tentatively, the eye twitching in response.

"What is it with Kung Fu Master having no clue about medical knowledge?" Chopper asked incredulously, whilst burying his head in his hooves.

…..

In the Training Hall, all the candles had been extinguished, save for the few at the front, allowing the crisp night sky the fall over the numerous training dummies and practice equipment. On the observation platform sat Shifu, who had locked his legs into a meditative pose and burned some incense. The events of the day weighed heavily on his mind, and caused him to fidget incessantly.

"Inner peace… inner peace… i-in… in-in… inner peace." Shifu stuttered, as he attempted to repeat the mantra.

"Oh, that hits a little too close to home." Usopp and Nami both commented in a moment of unity.

The red panda's ears pricked up as he registered a faint, flapping sound in the distance. He eventually turned around.

"Whoever is making the flapping sound, quiet down!"

"Wait! The messenger!" Chopper realised before hissing in apprehension. "Oooh- he's not going to like this."

There was silence. Shifu resumed his meditation.

"Inner-"

There was a THUMP and a quack. Shifu groaned and turned around. It was Zheng, the messenger.

"Shishishi." Luffy giggled at Sifu's frustration.

"Ah, Zheng. Excellent, I could use some good news right now."

Zheng moved to respond but hesitated. He had anything but good news to deliver.

"Oooh- he's REALLY not going to like this." Franky continued onwards from Chopper's line of thought.

…..

Shifu ran so fast up to the apex of the Peach Tree Hill, an onlooker could've sworn the ground behind him erupted into flames with each step. Oogway stood under the tree, slowly practicing Tai Chi movements, blossom petals slowly floating around him, carried by the currents left by his movements.

"Woah! Look at the blossoms falling! So pretty! I wish Dr Hiriluk could see this." Chopper commented wistfully.

"Such precise movements. Mixing different martial styles together. I would have liked to see this Oogway in his prime." Noted Jimbei.

"Master! Master!" Shifu cried in-between harsh pants of breath.

"Hmm?" Oogway didn't even look back, instead focusing on his technique.

"I have… it's very bad news!" Shifu tried to compose himself, to no avail.

"Shifu, there is just news. There is no good or bad." He turned to face Shifu, a gentle grin gracing his aged lips.

"I would severely disagree." Robin interjected. "Especially in this instance."

"Why does it matter? They have to stop Lung Leopard eventually right? Just let him come to them and get it over with." Luffy drawled, as he picked his nose.

"That's the exact opposite of what we want you moron!" Usopp yipped, before chopping his captain on the head to no effect.

"Master, your vision… your vision was right! Tai Lung has escaped from prison! He's on his way!"

There was a pregnant pause as Oogway's eyes slowly, but surely, bulged out his head. "That is bad news. If you do not believe that the Dragon Warrior can stop him."

"They are all going to die." Nami mumbled as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"The panda?! Master that panda is not the Dragon Warrior. He wasn't even meant to be here… it was an accident!" Shifu was at his wit's end. He couldn't get rid of this burden, and Oogway wouldn't relieve him of it.

"There are no accidents." Oogway restated towards his old friend, recalling the words he spoke only a few days prior.

"Yes, there are! Especially in cases like this!" Usopp stated, completely dumbfounded.

"Technically, he meant the rocket himself into the tournament. So maybe it actually wasn't an accident?" Robin pondered.

"Okay fine, but do you honestly believe that he meant to blow himself up?"

"Fair point."

Shifu only sighed in response. "Yes, I know. You've said that already. Twice."

"Well, that was no accident either."

"Thrice." Shifu commented aside, holding up three fingers to illustrate his point.

"I should not be relating this much to an anthropomorphic red penda. Yet here we are." Nami said.

"My old friend," Oogway hobbled towards the red panda, "The panda will never fulfil his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control."

"Illusion?" Shifu repeated, equal parts confused and incredulous.

"Yes. Look at this tree, Shifu." The elderly Master gestured towards the ancient peach tree, where the blossoms continued to fall. "I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before it's time."

"Yeah, but there are sometimes when we definitely need control. Like how some of us need to learn to control OUR STOMACHS!" Sanji howled at Luffy, who was half-eating, half-slobbering his snacks over his bowl, as it spilled out onto the floor.

Shifu saw where this lesson was going. He was getting sick of being proselytized towards. "But there are things we can control."

The red panda kicked the tree harshly, causing dozens of peaches to fall. Oogway only responded with a neutral stare. "I can control where the fruit will fall!" He was interrupted by a peach falling on his head, earning a growl from him and a chuckle from Oogway.

"And I can control…" Shifu continued his rant by tossing a peach in the air, leaping up, and chopping it to free the seed within. "…Where to plant the seed… hi-yah!"

"A lot of rage for such a small guy." Zoro said through a half-lidded eye.

"Zoro, his psycho of a son is on his way to the palace to gain the secret to ultimate power. You'd have to be a bit slow to not be worried about this." Franky huffed before taking a sip of his soda.

Shifu punched the ground, forming a small hole. The seed fell in his palm, before he harshly tossed it into it's newly formed home. "That is no illusion, Master!"

"Ah yes." The wise tortoise stepped forward, whilst Shifu began to pace uncontrollably. "But no matter what you do, that seed will grow into a peach tree. You may wish for an apple, or an orange… but you will get a peach."

"Hmm." Usopp contemplated. Those word rang a little too true for him, but there was an odd sense of comfort given by them as well. He couldn't exactly place why, though.

Shifu halted his feverish pacing. "But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!"

"Maybe it can. If you are willing to guide it, to nurture it, it believe in it." Oogway finished, as he covered the peach seed with dirt.

"What a delightfully odd old man. I wish we had someone like him around." Brook commented absentmindedly.

"You're the odd old man here." He was met with a chorus of tones from his crewmates.

"But how? How?!"Shifu pleaded with his old friend. "I need your help, Master."

"No, you just need to believe." He placed his hand on the stubborn Master's shoulder. "Promise me, Shifu. Promise me you will believe."

"He's… talking like he's going away. Why?" Luffy questioned.

"Maybe a test? To see if he can rise to challenge of training the untrainable." Jimbei hypothesised.

"No. Something's off here." Sanji said resolutely.

Shifu hesitated. His friend was asking more of him than he ever had before. Then he relented. "I… I will try."

Oogway seemed content with the answer. "Good." He then looked to the star-filled sky. The petals began to fall from the peach tree with an even greater intensity.

"My time has come." The elderly reptile turned to Shifu, before handing him his staff. "You must continue your journey… without me."

"What?! No! You can't leave him now! They won't survive!" Chopper and Usopp screamed together.

"It appears all birds eventually need to leave the nest" Robin commented solemnly.

"What are you..? What?"

Oogway started to hobble over to the cliff edge. A horrible wave of realisation swept over Shifu, as he started to fight against the steadily increasing wind to reach his Master.

"Master! You can't leave me!" The red panda began to plead as he struggled against the gale of peach blossoms. The petals whipped around Oogway, slowly beginning to obscure his entire body. He turned to face Shifu.

"No! Old turtle guy!" Luffy yelled at the cinema screen.

"Woah, look at that…" Nami was absolutely dazzled by the display of petals that slowly surrounded the elderly reptile.

"You must believe."

"Master!" Shifu screamed in despair, as Oogway was completely engulfed in the peach blossoms, before he started to glow with a brilliant blue light. Only when the blue light finally dispelled, did the wind begin to die down. Shifu stood at the cliff's edge, clutching the staff, as the mass of petals began to float into the sky. Oogway was no more.

The entire crew stood flabbergasted at the display. It was a unique combination of tranquillity and tragedy that few of them had seen before. Brook gave a small salute out of respect for the dead, before they sat in silence. A rare sight for the hearty crew.

…

Whilst this was happening, in the canteen of the bunkhouse Po was finally putting one of his undisputable skills to work: cooking. Using a technique, he picked up back at his Dad's shop, he began to chop a radish with deft skill, as he began to regale the Five with tales of his death-defying, (fake) exploits as the waited to be served.

"… So, I'm like, fine, you may be a wolf, you may be the scariest bandit in the Haijin province…" The noodle boy dragged the chopped vegetable into the pot. "… But you're a lousy tipper."

"Wow Usopp, you've got some serious competition in the bluffing department." Sanji chortled towards the sniper.

"Alright, how's this for a bluff? If you don't zip it, I'll hit you." Usopp hissed through his teeth.

"Pretty good, since I know you'll never actually follow through." The cook laughed in response.

The members of the Five, minus Tigress, listened on in amused skepticism.

"Really?" Crane voiced incredulously. "So… how'd you make it out of there alive?"

Po faltered for a second, "I mean, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it… in… my mind." He flipped a quarter-dozen bowls onto the length of his arm and ladled them with expert precision. Not a single drop of broth was spilled. "If he could read my mind he'd be like, 'What?'"

"Pfft. This guys an idiot, and a weirdo. But I still like him for some reason." Luffy snickered, the panda reminding him of his early adventures with Koby.

Chopper delivered a Kung Fu chop directly to his captain's head. "There's no need to be so rude! He's doing his best!" Anger filled tears started to careen down his furred cheeks.

The noodle boy quickly changed the subject to preserve what remained of his pride, "Order up!" He then slid the bowls across the table to the waiting recipients, save for Tigress, who had served herself some tofu cubes. "Hope you like it!"

"Oh, this should be good." The cook of the crew declared, suspecting that the noodle boy unhygienic nature would translate over to his meals.

Each of the members of the Five with a bowl in front of them took a tentative sip, before their eyes lit up and they started to hungrily sip at the broth.

"This is really good!" Mantis proclaimed.

"No, c'mon. You should try my Dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually knows… the secret ingredient." Po shrugged bashfully, as he started to paw at his own noodles with his spoon.

"Wait, what?! Again, with that 'secret ingredient' crap. What could it be." Sanji's pride as a cook was on the line, as he began to wrack his brain desperately for ingredients that would complete the perfect broth.

"I thought he'd like this; a big eater that can finally cook for themselves." Jimbei questioned with a puzzled expression.

"Nah, he just mad that he's getting shown up by a panda" Zoro snickered.

"What are you talking about? This is amazing!" Viper exclaimed in-between mouthfuls of broth.

"Wow, you're a really good cook." Crane added.

"I wish my mouth was bigger!" Said Mantis.

"Tigress, you've got to try this." Monkey gestured his own bowls towards the feline Master.

"Yeah, noodles are good and all, but where's the meat?" Luffy pouted.

The others looked at him with wide eyes, wondering how he possibly hadn't figured it out yet. Then they remembered this was Luffy.

"Moron, if they're all animals, where are they gonna get the meat from?" Nami interrogated her captain impatiently.

"From the anima – wait. SO, THERE'S NO MEAT THERE AT ALL?!" Luffy screamed at the top of his lungs, the very thought was blasphemy to him.

"Ding ding ding, ladies and gentlemen. The final horse crosses the finish line" Usopp droned in his best faux sports commentator voice.

Tigress huffed, before picking up her plate and inspecting a cube of tofu with her chopsticks, as if it were one of life's greatest mysteries. "It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive off of nothing but the dew of a single gingko leaf, and the energy of the universe." She took a moment to level a razor-sharp look at Po, before taking a deliberate bite out of the cube.

Luffy was further gobsmacked by the revelation, before he angrily crossed his arms and proclaimed, "Kung Fu sucks," with a huff. This elicited an eye roll from the rest of the crew.

The room filled with a palpable silence, as everyone took the time to register the clear put-down that had been aimed at Po. The panda then gave an uneasy giggle, "I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet. I'm gonna need a lot more than dew. And, uh, universe juice."

Po then picked up his own bowl and took a giant gulp. When he lowered the bowl, Mantis snickered seeing a single noodle hanging from his top lip, creating the illusion of a moustache.

"What?" the panda questioned.

"Oh, nothing… Master Shifu." Mantis gave a mock bow.

"Pfft. Look at him! The spitting image, he just needs the robe!" Usopp whispered to Chopper, who began to burst out in a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

"Hey, guys. Look here!" Luffy said. When his two friends turned to him, they saw him stretching his index finger over his upper lip to create the approximation of a moustache. "I'm Master Shifu!"

All three burst into hysterics, to the displeasure of the remainders of the crew.

"I live with children." Nami groaned, whilst Robin gave her a reassuring pat on the back.

Po looked downwards to see the noodle dangling from his lip, whilst the rest of the Five, minus Tigress, started to hold in giggles. The glint of an idea flashed across his face, before he decided to run with it, getting on his knees, and holding his chopstick as if it were Shifu's staff.

"You will never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose five hundred pounds and brush your teeth!" He chattered, in a deliberately histrionic impression of the red panda. The majority of the Masters at the table laughed in response.

"Yohohoho! That's perfect! He just needs to loose 5 feet!" Brook couldn't contain himself either.

Robin, usually more reserves amongst her crewmates, afforded herself a giggle at the horseplay onscreen.

Po continued, "What's that noise you're making? Laughter? I've never heard it! Work hard, panda. And maybe, someday…" He picked up two empty bowls on the table and held them up to his head, like ears, "… You will have ears like mine!"

The final part of the routine was the straw that broke the hat's back, as the rest of the crew started to join in the frivolities. This time laughing with the panda, rather than at him.

"Alright, I'll admit; this guys growing on me." Zoro exclaimed.

"Meh, he's not a better cook than me." Sanji grumbled.

"Of course." The swordsman noncommittally addressed the cook.

The gag had the Four in near hysterics. After a few seconds, however, they suddenly stopped. Shifu was standing behind Po, staff in hand, and a glare that could melt ice on his face. The panda, unfortunately, was none the wiser.

"Ears. They not working for you? I thought they were pretty good." Po questioned.

"It's Shifu!" Monkey hissed through his teeth, sounding deathly afraid.

"Of course, it's Shifu. What do you think I'm doing?" The noodle boy asked, starting to get confused.

"Yeesh, that little dude looks SUPER ticked off." Franky chortled, trying to catch his breath.

"Yes. Consequences are rarely ever fun to consider when one is swept up into the moment." Robin agreed.

The Five gestured to something behind him. Po turned to finally see Shifu standing behind him. Out of a mixture of terror and mortification, he slapped the bowls to his chest.

"Oh Master Shifu! I…"

Po quickly slurped his noodle-stache and lowered his arms… the bowls still stuck to his chest in a very unflattering manner. The Five immediately burst into laughter.

The young trio fell of their seats as they howled with laughter. Meanwhile Jimbei, Nami and Sanji buried their faces into their palms in a display of exasperated disgust.

"Huh." Only one word escaped Brook's teeth. For him it was all that needed to be said.

"You think this is funny?" Shifu quickly fumed, "Tai Lung has escaped from prison, and you're all acting like children!"

"What?" The statement passed over the panda, like a current of air.

"He is coming for the Dragon Scroll, and you are the only one who can stop him!

The bowls fell off and clattered to the floor. The world seemed to stop for a moment… before Po started to laugh.

"Don't know why you're laughing. You've got to deal with this, before it gets out of hand!" Nami growled, her teeth sharpening into points.

"And here I am saying that you've got no sense of humour. I'm gonna stop… Tai Lung…" The noodle boys ranting slowly tapered off as he observed the aging Master's expression.

"What you're serious? And I have to… uh.. Master Oogway will stop him. He did it before, he'll do it again." Po was desperate, fishing for any possible hook to latch onto.

"Oogway cannot!" Shifu snapped, before he softened and held up the turtle's staff. "Not anymore."

"I can't believe Oogway pulled that disappearing act right when we needed him. Couldn't he have waited a couple of days before he burst into petals and left?" Zoro asked.

"HE DIED! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GONNA ASK SOMEONE TO NOT DIE JUST BECAUSE IT'LL BE MORE CONVIENT FOR YOU IF THEY DON'T?" Sanji hollered at him, to such an extent that flecks of spittle now covered the swordsman's face.

"Aw you got spit in my mouth! 'Refined gentleman' my ass!" the first mate of the crew started coughing to save himself from the cross-contamination.

The Five gasped in realisation. Their expressions noticeably falling.

Shifu steeled himself. "Our only hope… is the Dragon Warrior."

"The panda?" Tigress voiced dubiously.

"Yes, the panda!"

"You seriously still intend to send an untrained rookie into combat completely unprepared against that sociopath? You're marching a lamb to the slaughter." Jimbei growled at the gall of the Kung Fu Master.

"Nah, he'll be fine." Luffy brushed to comment aside.

"Luffy, how can you think that? It makes no sense!" Nami cry-screamed at the rubber man.

"No accidents, right? If the old turtle guy said it, then it must be right. He was pretty wise."

Both Jimbei and Nami were utterly baffled by the logic on display, but both knew better than to argue with their captain.

Tigress pushed her chair back as she stood up. "Master, please! Let us stop Tai Lung, this is what you've trained us for." The big cat voiced with urgency, all the previous frustrations from the past few day suddenly coming to the surface.

"No!" Shifu responded sharply. "It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung. It is his!" The red panda gestured towards Po… who was nowhere to be found.

"Where'd he go?"

"Finally, a smart decision!" Usopp cheered, seeing his view on the matter be validated had slightly lifted his spirits. Slightly.

…

Po raced down the stairs from the bunkhouse in a state of utter panic, screaming at the top of his lungs, whilst his comparatively short legs did their best to support his flight. Using the momentum from his run, Po eventually made it to the courtyard steps that would take him directly back to the village. At the last second before his descend, Shifu suddenly dropped down in front of him, creating a thunderous boom and leaving a web of cracks where he landed. Po stopped dead in his tracks.

"You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!" Shifu declared, parroting the panda's earlier words back at him.

"Ugh, I hate it when they use your own words against you." Chopper huffed.

"You were the one who said we needed to conserve food, Mr 'cotton candy stash in the engine room.'" Usopp, reminded his friend of his moment of weakness.

Po had had enough of the old Master's torment. Trying all this time to get him to leave, only to now flip the script when they needed him to march towards a natural disaster? No, he was leaving. "Watch me!"

Po attempted to manoeuvre around the Master, who simply redirected him path back towards the palace with a flick of his staff. The noodle boy let out a defeated sigh.

"Oh, come on! How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs?"

"A reasonable line of questioning. Surely the Five would be better suited to this endeavour given their presumable years of training and coordination." Robin postulated, with the information available to her.

"Ahh. Robin's so radiant when she's being observant." Sanji swooned.

"You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior." Shifu punctuated the statement by prodding the panda in the belly with his staff.

"Ow! You don't believe that!" Shifu hit him again. Po's blood was starting to boil. "Ow! You've never believed that! From the moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me!"

"So, he did know? When the hell would you want to stay after going through all the that?" Nami was utterly flabbergasted by the panda's apparent lack self-preservation.

The noodle boy attempted to manoeuvre around the aging Master again, but Shifu simply swept him off his feet, causing him to fall flat on his back. He then pointed his staff dangerously at the face of his unwitting pupil.

"Yes! I was! But not I ask you to trust in your Master, as I have come to trust in mine." Shifu started to pant out of pure frustration.

"You're not my Master." Po harshly shoved the staff away. "And I'm not the Dragon Warrior." The statement was given in a tone of resolute, yet accepted, disappointment.

Many members of the crew would have, beforehand, jumped on the opportunity to rag on the noodle boy for his undeserved acceptance of the Dragon Warrior title. But to hear him accept that he never could be what he wanted to be, filled them with an unexpected melancholy.

All of them except Luffy.

"What they hell! You can't give up now! The people are counting on you!"

Shifu was utterly baffled. "Then why didn't you quit?! You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed!

"Yeah, I stayed." Po dragged himself to his feet. "I stayed because though every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled, it hurt. But it could never hurt more than it did every day of my life just being me."

There was a beat before Franky breathed. "Wow. Imagine hating yourself that much…"

"Yeah. Imagine." Usopp's eyes fell slightly.

Shifu stood in stunned silence.

"I stayed because I thought I anyone could change me… could make me… not me. It was you! The greatest Kung Fu teacher in all of China!"

"Wow, I wasn't expecting this much from this guy. I though he was just another happy-go-lucky moron. I guess not." Nami summarised the thoughts of her other crewmates quite succinctly.

Shifu shook himself out of his self-inflicted stupor. "But I can change you! I can change into the Dragon Warrior! And I will!"

"Oh, come on!" Po chuckled in abject disbelief. "Tai Lung is on his way here right now! And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are you… gonna turn this… into the Dragon Warrior? Huh?"

The crew were stopped dead in their proverbial tracks by the question. They tried to, separately, think of answers to the question… before coming to the realisation that there was no answer. Given the time and the trainee, it was an impossible task.

"And now without Oogway, there is no hope." Jimbei declared solemnly.

Shifu opened his mouth to respond… before he froze. Even upon threat of death, he couldn't think of an answer.

"How… how?" Po reiterated, his tone getting harsher with each repeat of the question.

Shifu closed his mouth in silent defeat.

"HOW?!" Po erupted; all his compacted frustration being released in one simple word.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Shifu responded with equal volume. There was a beat, before he sighed in defeat. They both knew what the answer meant. "I don't know."

Meanwhile, Luffy was filled with a righteous fervour, "What are you doing?! The guy asked you to train him, and all you're doing is kicking his ass and throwing him out! How's this helping anyone? Then you feel sad about it? Little raccoon bastard!" He began to gesticulate towards the screen angrily.

"Luffy, calm down. Sometimes there just isn't a way around something." Usopp tried to rationalise.

"Yes there is! It's starin' em in the face, but they're not doing anything about it!"

All of Po's anger immediately transmuted into a deep sadness. "That's what I thought."

Shifu walked away in a deep malaise, leaving the path down to the village clear.

What neither of them noticed that whilst this was happening they were both being watched. Tigress stood at the edge of the palace roof; her silhouette being cast by the brilliant light of the full moon. Her sullen expression, quickly steeling before she turned back… and leaped into the sky with the force and speed of a firework.

"Holy – what is she doing?" Chopper.

"She jumped off a mountain. Come on Chopper, keep up." Zoro flatly responded.

"I CAN SEE THAT!" The doctor responded in a flash of anger.

"Why?! Cats don't actually always land on their feet, you know!" Nami screeched fearfully.

Tigress flew downwards, letting the air flow through her fur, as she careened towards the ground. At the last second, she angled herself to slide down a pagoda ledge, catapulting her forwards, and allowing her land safely on the rooftop.

"Wow. Just… wow" Robin's eyes opened ever so slightly. So couldn't recall the last time she saw such an impressive display of agility, even in her extensive career as an assassin.

Tigress breathed in deeply, letting the adrenaline leave her system. She looked back up the mountain she had just left and sighed. "This is what you trained me for."

"Wow! Master Tigress is so fantastic! I can't wait to see the look on that idiot snow leopard's face when she comes knocking!" Sanji exclaimed in a passionate rant.

"Dude, please stop. I'm getting SUPER freaked out by this." Franky cringed at the cook's outburst.

The Kung Fu Master took off across the rooftops. Springing from one to the other, in a display of professional grace.

Her ears pricked up, detecting four other unknown presences. Each moving towards her, as fast as she was running away.

"Tigress!" The unmistakable voice of Viper rang through the air, as Tigress continued to weave her way across the urban obstacles course.

"Don't try to stop me!" The big cat yelled as she increased her pace.

"We're not trying to stop you!" Viper called back.

"What?"

"We're coming with you!" Viper smiled back at her friend. Tigress looked to see all of her friends nod in acknowledgment; Monkey even giving a thumbs up in response.

"Finally, they're taking the fight to him. This should be good!" Zoro grinned, briefly letting his impatience flood out of him.

"Yeah! You don't know what you're in for you dumb cat!" Luffy cheered in agreement.

Tigress smiled, brimming with a newfound confidence and vigour, as both her team her rocketed off into the night, fully intending to take care of the problem at its source.

…

"Hi-yah!" Shifu awoke with a start underneath the Sacred Peach Tree. Leaned against Oogway's staff, he quickly corrected his appearance, as if an unknown presence were surveying him.

"Regret seems to be weighing down on him heavily." Robin noted, having experienced the emotion many a time before."

"Yes, it's a weight that never leaves. You only learn to carry it with greater ease." Brook agreed with small sigh.

"Wah-yah!" The elderly Master's ears pricked at a noise in the distance. It was the same one that woke him up, but it had not change in noise or intensity. Shifu went to investigate. He searched the Training Hall. Nothing. He then checked the Hall of Warriors. Again, there was no trace of the sound's source. The only place left was the Bunkhouse. His hunch proved correct, as he went to inspect the sound's source: the pantry.

"Oh no… HE'S GOING FOR THE FOOD!" Sanji screeched in horrified realization. He was all too familiar with certain member of the crew barging in and taking what wasn't theirs. "He's going to eat them out of temple and home!"

As Shifu turned the corner, he saw the distinct silhouette of Po… performing Kung Fu? Shifu made it to the doorway just in time to see Po perform an expertly executed strike on an unsuspecting cupboard. The panda's fist splintered the board as it entered… and a second later, he retracted it. His hand filled to the brim with snacks, which he then greedily stuffed his face with.

"From the way he's eating, you couldn't tell that one of the greatest Kung Fu practitioners ever just turned into peach blossoms and left." Nami commented in a slightly sardonic tone.

"Never mind that, did you see what he just did?!" Usopp tried to ignore her, before returning his attention to the screen

Mid-munch, Po finally registered Shifu standing in the doorway, and froze like a deer in lamplights.

The two stared at each other in an uneasy silence. Shifu broke the gaze to survey the room… and was surprised to say the least. Cupboards were smashed, locks were broken, and cabinet doors were left dangerously unhinged. The odd thing that Shifu registered, upon closer inspection, was that all the breaks were clean, as if they had been made with a Master-level of precision. Eventually, his gaze fell back towards Po.

"This is a travesty. I may cry." A dark cloud began to form over Sanji's head as he slumped forward in his seat.

"What? Cry over the fact that you're the biggest moron who ever lived? Then yeah, that is a good reason to cry." Zoro wasted no time with a swift comeback.

"YOUR'E GONNA WISH YOU HAD TEAR DUCTS WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU! YOU ONE-EYED FREAK!" The cook howled back towards the first mate.

"What? I eat when I'm upset, okay?" The panda defended himself against any possible insults the old man could throw his way.

Shifu gained a glimmer in his eye, as the beginnings of a plan began to form in his mind. "Oh, no need to explain. I just thought you were Monkey; he hides his almond cookies on the top shelf."

"Why would you tell him that?!" Sanji had become so angry; his face had started to warp into demonic visage.

"No, wait. He seems like he has an idea. I guess you could say I feel it in my bones. I mean, they are all I have left! Yohohoho!" Brook giggled away to himself, his comments doing not to assuage the cook's anger. If anything, they only exacerbated it.

As soon as Shifu calmly exited and hid around the corner, Po's eyes immediately burst alight with realisation. When he thought he was alone, he sprinted out of Shifu's periphery, who heard a series of heavy crashes and the bang of metal cooking equipment hitting the floor.

When Shifu sprinted back in to investigate he couldn't believe his eyes. The panda he previously deemed as worthless was perched high above the shelves, jamming the almond cookies into his mouth with reckless abandon, his legs split almost perfectly horizontal to allow his to balance between the cupboards.

Usopp found himself with his jaw touching the floor. "How the hell did he?..." The sniper was at a loss for words.

Chopper was in a similar state of disbelief. "He was – then he was – and he… How?"

Even Robin was taken aback. "He's certainly a lot sprightlier than he initially seemed."

The red panda's momentary disbelief turned into awe as he continued to stare at the noodle boy. Po looked down to see the Master eyeing him intently and held his position with a half-finished bite of cookie slowly dropping out of his mouth.

"Don't tell Monkey." The panda mumbled through his mouthful.

Shifu stepped forward. "Look at you…"

Po rolled his eyes at the statement, as took a bite of another cookie. "Yeah I know, I disgust you."

Nami huffed inwards and began. "Well, the cookie crumbs around your mouth aren't doing you any favours."

Immediately Sanji hunched over a notepad he produced from his blazer. "Note to self. Keep face clean of crumbs at all times." As soon as he was finished writing, he was met with a swift chop to the back of the head.

"No, no I mean… how did you get up there?"

"I don't know. I guess – I don't know. I was getting a cookie…" As soon as he finished that cookie, he immediately crammed another into his mouth.

"And yet you are ten feet off the ground… and have done a perfect split." Shifu's praise was unexpected, throwing Po for a loop. He quickly started to get bashful.

"Shishishi. See I told you guys he had in him. It was inimitable." Luffy smiled his best thousand Berry smile.

"You mean inevitable." Usopp quickly corrected, leading to his captain sticking his tongue out at him in response.

"No this… this is just an… accident." Po's tone began to shift, as he started to slip from his perch. With a thunderous crash, the panda slipped from the shelves, and brought them down with him, completely burying him. The cookie he was about to eat rolled towards Shifu, who picked it up with a smirk.

"There are no accidents. Come with me." Shifu beckoned the dizzied panda.

"Well, if nothing else, this should at least be interesting." Jimbei began to stroke his beard at a deliberate pace.

…

Hours later, Po and Shifu traversed the Wudang Mountains, the Jade Palace now nothing more than a speck in the distance. The Master lead the way, whilst the panda was weighed down by a large backpack, causing him to huff in exertion.

"Listen, I know you're trying to be all mystical and Kung-Fuey, but could you at least tell me where we're going?"

"Stop Po! You've got no sense of occasion! These things have to be done with a certain 'je ne se quois'. Otherwise, what's the point?" Brook asked letting his flair for the dramatic show.

Po was met with no response, as so for hours they trekked, until they came to an alcove in the mountains filled with a still pool and large plinth that stood at the centre. A thin layer of mist covering the area. Shifu rested atop a small rock and began to meditate, whilst Po shrugged the backpack of his shoulders.

"You… dragged me… all the way here… for a bath?!" the noodle boy groaned, as he crawled to the pool and began to wash himself.

"Really? There are easier ways to get a message across, you know." Usopp said flatly.

"Idiot! Of course, they're not coming up here for a bath! At least, I hope not." Nami retorted, before letting loose a mighty shiver.

Shifu's ears twitched, before he exhaled slowly. "Panda, we do not wash out pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears."

Po froze mid pit-wipe, quickly realizing where he was. A place only spoken of in legends. "The Pool of…"

Shifu hopped off the rock, before standing at the pool's edge, as the mist began to thin. "This is where Oogway unravelled the mysteries of harmony and focus. This is the birthplace… of Kung Fu."

"No way! That's so cool!" Luffy was positively awestruck.

"The birthplace of-." Jimbei repeated, his jaw unhinging.

"They're standing in a wellspring of history. If only those stone could speak." Robin mused as she cupped her chin.

The enormity of the statement struck Po harder than any fist. He placed his paw to his heart, feeling the collective experience that these stones must have witnessed. A vision of a younger Oogway intensely training atop the stone plinth, burst unbidden into his mind.

THUD!

Po was shaken out of his stupor by Shifu leaping onto the plinth. The sun shining brightly behind him, increasing his presence.

"Do you want to learn Kung Fu?" Shifu proclaimed loudly. There was only one possible answer for the panda.

"Yeah…"

"YES! YES! YES!" The trio of Luffy, Usopp and Chopper screamed to the heavens; trails of snot and tears running down theirs noses as they continued to cheer.

"Then I am your Master!" The red panda's voice boomed across the alcove.

"Okay!" Po's eyes began to well up with tears.

"Don't cry."

"I can't help it man! It's just so beautiful! Too guys reconciling their differences and working together for the common good. Ain't nothing manlier than that." Franky wept, before blowing his nose with a comically small handkerchief.

"Don't overdo it." Zoro sighed, as he leaned backwards out of embarrassment.

"Okay!" The noodle boy struggled to regain his posture. He wiped his nose and smiled.

…

Hours later, Po and Shifu stood in a ready position in a nearby field of calmly swaying grass, populated sparsely by giant boulders.

"When you focus on Kung Fu… when you concentrate… you stink." Shifu spoke a harsh truth, as Po's face fell.

Usopp coughed at the rapidity of the statement, before composing himself. "THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY OF PHRASING THAT!"

"No. If he's terrible then you need to let him know immediately. Giving people false hope is one of the worst crimes you can commit." Zoro stated gruffly, but also with an edge of sage wisdom honed by years of training.

"But perhaps that is my fault. I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five. I now see the way to get to you… is with this." Shifu produced a bowl of dumplings from behind his back.

Luffy immediately perked up, before gasping in realization. "Training with food?! How come I've never thought of that?"

"Because there wouldn't be any food let to train with." Sanji interjected. "You got the restraint of a tsunami."

Po began to drool profusely. "Oh great, because I am hungry." He reached for the bowl, before Shifu pulled it out of his grasp with a chuckle.

"Good. When you have been trained, you may eat." Po scowled, as Shifu plopped a dumpling into his mouth. "Let us begin."

Luffy sat there in abject horror, being reminded of some of his worst days during his training on Ruskaina. "He's a monster. A monster!

…..

Po's training started to unfold over the proceeding weeks. It was specifically designed to use the panda's insatiable appetite as motivation to completely soar past any limits he may have previously had.

To start with, they began physical conditioning, involving Po performing sit-ups, whilst dangling from a tree-branch that drooped over a long drop. Shifu perched on a higher branch, wafting the scent emanating off a bowl of dumplings towards the noodle boy's nose. The motivation was more than sufficient.

"I'm starting to think Shifu doesn't know the definition of the word 'restraint'" Jimbei grumbled.

"Hey. desperate times, desperate measures." Franky shrugged the comment off, not seeing what was clearly wrong with the red panda's training philosophy.

Without warning, the branch partially snapped, forcing Po hand on for dear life onto the dangling piece of tree. Shifu hopped onto an adjacent rock, forcing Po to rescue the dumplings with a careful angle of the bowl. The shift in weight, however, caused the branch to snap completely, causing Po to yell as he plummeted, with Shifu rescuing the already rescued dumplings before they met the same fate.

Luffy sighed in relief and wiped some sweat off his brow. "Phew, the dumplings are safe."

Nami responded with a smack upside the head. "YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT THE WRONG THING, IDIOT!"

Later in a clearing, Shifu gifted Po with a bowl of soup, much to his delight. As the panda began to slurp, Shifu attacked him with a staff, and whilst Po only barely managed to hold him off it came at the expense of the soup and the bowl.

Sanji's eyes immediately ignited. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get soup just right? First you have to worry about texture. Then chop the ingredients to just the right size to make sure Nami and Robin don't choke on them. Then you have to-." The cook was restrained by Zoro with a sigh.

"Yeah, yeah. Calm down, Swirls."

Weeks turned into months, as Po wrestled with Shifu for an elusive dumpling, always just out of reach.

The panda was then forced to do push up over a bed of hot coals, whilst attempting to reach a bowl of soup with his tongue each time he lowered towards the ground.

"Ow, ow, ow! Why would you do that?" Usopp asked, as he started to rake at an imaginary burn on his chest.

"It builds core strength." Both Zoro and Jimbei answered simultaneously.

"By giving you third degree burns?!" The sniper questioned feverishly.

Later, the two Kung Fu practitioners balanced on high-rise juts of rock. The only difference, was the presence of bowls of soup, balanced on each of his limbs.

"The Way of the Soup." Robin giggled to herself, surreptitiously.

Back in the clearing, Po began to sneak towards the cooking pot, plainly sitting in the open. Unfortunately, just as he reached into the pot with a bowl, Shifu flitted out of nowhere and attacked him with the staff yet again. Po fared far better than the last time, blocking several strikes, before the bowl was inevitably knocked out of his hand again.

With absurd speed, Shifu perched on top of the apex of his staff, caught the entire serving of soup with the bowl, and began to modestly slurp away. Annoyed, Po attempted to knock the staff out from underneath the Master, before Shifu hopped off, sending it into a spin the clonked the panda right on the nose.

"How. Is That. Even. Physically Possible?" Brook asked incredulously, missing the irony of a talking skeleton asking the question.

Even more time passed, as Po continued to hone his abilities. Now able to much more accurately mimic Shifu's elaborate Kung Fu moves, push up with only one finger and dodge all of the Master's attacks. Now there was only one final test.

"I can't believe it. His form is impeccable! He must be a once-in-a-lifetime Kung Fu freak of nature. All that was needed was the right incentive." Jimbei sat flabbergasted.

"Shishishi. See? No accidents." Luffy pumped his fist excitedly.

…

At the open field, Shifu had laid out three bowls on a small boulder, underneath a tree glowing a brilliant autumnal orange. One was filled with dumplings, whilst the other two were empty for serving, with a pair of chopsticks at the ready.

"After you, panda." Shifu gestured towards the table warmly.

Po stopped short, instantly suspicious. "That's it? No sit-ups? No ten-mile hike?"

Shifu chuckled. "I vowed to train you… and you have been trained. You are free to eat."

"This seems… too easy." Nami squinted her eyes at the seating arrangement.

"Yeah… like some messed up trap." Sanji commented grimly, before swiftly changing his tune to more flirtatious one. "Isn't it cute how we think the same thing Nami-dear?"

The navigator only cringed in response.

The invitation did nothing to assuage Po's suspicions. He squinted at the Master, before sitting down and slowly grabbing his chopsticks.

"Enjoy." Shifu said.

Po's suspicions evaporated as he raised the dumpling to his mouth. WHOOSH. He bit down on air, as a gust of wind blew past. Shifu sat at the opposite end of the table, chewing rapidly.

"Thief!" Luffy shouted in vengeful fury.

"That was even faster than before. The old man know how to dance." Zoro noted.

"Hey!"

"I said you are free to eat. Have a dumpling." Shifu's smile was still warm, thought it now seemed slightly artificial.

"Why's he acting like he did nothing?" Luffy continued to fume. "He just stole the dumpling… didn't he?" The captains previous assumption was thrown in the air, as he began to stupidly question what he had just seen.

"Of course, he did!" The entire crew, minus Robin, was quick to inform him.

Po reached across the table to grab another dumpling, only for the red panda to kick it out of his grasp, pluck it from the air and quickly stuff his face again.

Po scowled at Shifu, a gesture which he returned. The stared at each other for what must have been seconds, but for them felt like an eternity.

"You are free… to eat." The Master restated, this time with iron in his voice.

"Am I?!" Po questioned fiercely.

"Are you?!" Shifu answered, before twirling his chopsticks around his fingers like miniature Bo staffs. Po responded by sheepishly clicking his together with a little 'Hwah'.

"Oh wow. This is incredibly lame." Robin sighed.

"I know. Isn't it great?" Chopper cheered.

The panda slammed down of the boulder, sending the dumplings skyward. He didn't have time to react, when Shifu chased them into the air and rapidly devoured all but one. As chased the final treat upwards, Shifu snatched it away leaving his protégé to flop to the group.

"You're not seriously gonna take that lying down, are you?" Zoro raised his eyebrows, daring the panda to prove him wrong.

Fast than his cumbersome body should have allowed, Po sprang to his feet and used his chopsticks to flick the final dumpling out of Shifu's grasp and into one of the bowls.

They continued to spar, each using their chopsticks to fight for the dumpling. With deft grace, Shifu hid the snack underneath the bowls, before overturning the other two. Smirking at his improvised shells game, Shifu began to slide the bowls around at ludicrously high speeds.

"So fast! My eyes can't follow! (Even though my eyes are long gone!)" Brook gasped, still not missing the opportunity for a gag.

"I can!" Luffy, Zoro, Sanji and Usopp hollered simultaneously. "That one!" They all pointed at a bowl onscreen.

Po cringed as his eyes darted between the bowls, before he upturned one, which turned out to be correct choice. He celebrated with a small 'Whoop'.

"Nice!" Luffy and Usopp exclaimed, whilst Zoro and Sanji merely gave a satisfying smirk.

Student and master continued to duel, using their chopsticks like weapons to attack, counter and parry.

Angling for a new approach, Po chopped the bowl away, before kicking the dumpling into the air. Shifu was quick to intercept however, throwing his chopstick like a shuriken and impaling the poor piece of dough against the tree. He jumped to retrieve the prize, before Po pinched his ankle with his own chopsticks and dragged him back down to earth.

The two continued to spar, both not giving an inch of ground, and both aware that the dumpling was slowly sliding down the small piece of cutlery, before dropping into a fall.

"NO! It's gonna fall, the Sanji's gonna get mad!" Chopper screamed in fear.

Sanji snorted. "What are you talking about? I'm not gonna get mad… I'M GONNA GET LIVID!"

In an act of desperation, Po tossed the elderly Master aside, before angling his gaping maw wide to receive. At the last possible second, Shifu forced his lips together with his chopsticks, before he sent the dumpling flying away. Po performed a quick leg sweep to remove his hold and started to chase after the flying dumpling.

Shifu smiled wide, finally feeling alive for the first time in years. He tossed aside his chopsticks, before scooping up his staff and giving chase.

"Guess he can still smile after all this time." Nami commented with a grin.

"Indeed. It seems he finally found that second wind he was looking for all this time." Jimbei agreed with the statement, finding himself pleasantly surprised with how the student and master dynamic had progressed.

Student and Master sparred equally. Staff struck against limb, as neither gave any ground. Each took time to hit the dumpling, making sure it never touched the ground. In a bizarre, yet inspiring display of athleticism, Po followed the arc of Shifu's staff swing, stomped it into the ground and used it as a springboard to lift himself into the air, bumping the dumpling against his belly and sending it flying out of Shifu's reach.

He executed a perfect landing and plucked the morsel out of the air with his chopsticks, streaks of light careening of the dough in a triumph, yet odd, display.

The entire crew stop speechless. Po had managed to progress so far in such a short span of time. It was just as Jimbei had said. He was a next-level Kung Fu freak, without equal.

"I did tell you all to not underestimate the power of fat." Brook said cheekily.

Po panted out of exertion, but instead of fatigue, he felt exhilarated. He turned to Shifu who beamed with pride. He gestured towards the panda; he was now free to eat.

The Master felt a pang of shock as his open palm was filled with the dumpling. He looked to Po, who despite not changing a bit in the past few months, seemed to look invigorated.

"I'm not hungry." Po said, as Shifu tossed the dumpling aside with a smirk. "Master." They finally acknowledged each other with a bow.

"Then… WHAT WAS ALL THAT FOR?!" Luffy was completely dumbfounded, even more so than usual.

"UWAHH! H-HE'S FINALLY BECOME A STUDENT WORTH TEACHING, AND HES FINALLY BECOME A TEACHER WORTH LISTENING TOO. A TRULY MASTERFUL LINKING OF NARRATIVE THREADS!" The shipwright of the crew stared to burst out into a joyful river of tears.

"Yes Franky, I'm pretty sure we understood that." Robin responded dismissively.

…

Elsewhere, the Five blazed through what seemed like their fifteenth endless forest, finally arriving at the Thread of Hope; a rope bridge that stretched out between two mountain peaks above a gargantuan abyss shrouded in mist.

Whilst the Five ground to a halt in front of the bridge to catch their collective breath, they registered a small grey dot racing across the other side. Tai Lung.

"Oh God! I don't think they're ready for this" Usopp began to bite his nails until they were nothing but stumps on his fingers.

"Looks like they gotta be." Zoro noted without a hint of apprehension.

With the enhanced eyesight that both big cats possessed, they registered each other's presence and growled at each other, before the snow leopard let out a mighty ROAR and bolted forward across the bridge; his speed surprising even Tigress.

"Cut it!" Tigress hollered, and upon her command each member of the Five cut a rope to the bridge with a precise chop.

"Yes! Finally! There's no way he'll be able to come back from a drop like that!" Nami exclaimed and jumped in the air.

However, it came too little, too late, as Tai Lung jumped into the air, claws outstretched. Realising that he was still going to reach them, regardless of the bridge, Tigress leaped upwards to intercept, delivering a vicious backflip kick to the snow leopard, launching him backwards.

"You just had to open your mouth didn't you?" Usopp admonished.

"No more running commentary for you!" Chopper screamed, infuriated.

A dark cloud formed over Nami's head, as a small stream of tears began to pour from her eyes. "I'm sorry. I won't ever get excited again. I know better now."

The two felines landed on the bridge, mid-collapse, whilst the rest of the Five rushed to grab the support ropes, stretching them backwards and folding the structure back in place, holding on for dear life.

Tigress assumed a defensive position, whilst Tai Lung leaned on one of the ropes as if it were the most casual thing in the world. He looked wholly unimpressed.

"And he's not even phased. That was a truly ineffectual strategy." Robin noted coldly.

"You're not helping!" Usopp fumed angrily.

"Where's the Dragon Warrior?" The snow leopard asked, with a hint of boredom.

"How do you know you're not looking at her?" Tigress responded coldly.

Tai Lung gave a sharp, humourless laugh. "You think I'm a fool? I know you're not the Dragon Warrior. None of you!"

Tigress growled, whilst the members of the Five exchanged a worried glance. Tai Lung began to walk closer along the rope as if it were a perfectly flat surface.

"He's walking on that rope like it's not even there! I wish I could be that dexterous." Brook mused in a melancholic tone.

"But Brook, you can run on water." Chopper noted quizzically.

The musician's tone completely inverted. "Oh wait, that's right. Never mind then."

"I heard how fell out of the sky on a ball of fire." He jumped back onto the planks, momentarily throwing Tigress off-kilter. "That he's a warrior unlike anything the world has ever seen!"

"Po?!" Monkey shouted out of pure disbelief.

"Don't sound so surprised. He's come a long way since you last saw him." Zoro acknowledged.

"Yeah! Like that thing with the chopsticks – oh, and the belly bump! That was too cool!" Luffy was quite possibly the most enthusiastic about the Panda's progress.

"So that is his name… Po. Finally, a worthy opponent, our battle will be legendary!" His proclaimed raising his fist to the sky.

Tigress growled and immediately pressed the attack, only for Tai Lung to retaliate with equal ferocity. The two traded blows back and forth, until Tigress grabbed the side rope and wrapped her legs around the snow leopard's head, attempting the throw him off the bridge's side with a spin throw.

"Come on! Throw that oversized stray overboard!" Sanji cheered, his eyes resuming their heart shape from before.

"Sanji, please stop. You're embarrassing us." Brook said calmly.

"You have no right to judge!" The cook shot back.

Tai Lung was too fast, however, and angled himself to use the bridge as an improvised monkey bar, swinging himself up high into the clouds. Tigress squinted, unable to find him in the haze of white, before the predator came barrelling towards her.

Thinking quickly, Tigress shifted her weight and spun the entire length of the bridge a hundred and eighty degrees, so the bottom would face the top, intending to use the walkway as an improvised shield. She had to dodge to avoid Tai Lung's meteoric fist, crushing the solid oak planks like they were made of wafers, before he continued his assault.

Tigress was now of the backfoot having to defend herself whilst hanging from the bottom of the bridge, as Tai Lung pressed the assault through the newly created gap.

"I don't think I've ever seen anything more insane than someone fighting underneath a bridge." Nami stated quietly.

The entire crew, minus Sanji, raised their eyebrows. Their silence spoke a thousand words.

"Okay, point taken."

The Dark Master grabbed her leg and harshly pulled her through more planks, before attempting to throw her off once again. Tigress extended her claws and dug into his forearms, eliciting a pained growl from Tai Lung. Using her newfound purchase, she landing a solid kick in his face, before grabbing the bottom of the bridge again.

Now both Masters were hanging from the bottom of the bridge, trading vicious blows, only now it became apparent that Tigress was losing her ground.

"We've got this! Go help her!" Monkey yelled, before Viper and Crane handed them their ropes and dashed forward to save their leader.

"No, the two of them can't hold up a whole bridge!" Usopp exclaimed, quickly seeing that the tide of the battle was falling out of their favour.

"Sure, they can. They know Kung Fu." Luffy drawled, uninterested in the sniper's usual fearful ranting.

"THAT DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY MEAN YOU CAN HOLD UP A BRIDGE!" The long nose teen howled at the captain.

Help would most certainly be needed, as Tai Lung let loose a flurry of kicks, the final one sending Tigress crashing painfully through the boards. He then let loose a devastating backspin kick cause Tigress to go careening horizontally through the planks across length of the bridge, leaving nothing but two lengths of tightrope in his wake.

Taking a page out of his opponent's playbook, Tai Lung shifted his weight around the bridge, causing the lengths of rope to coil around themselves and eventually snaking around Tigress' throat, making her choke out in pain.

"Oh my god! He's going to kill her!" Nami exclaimed in fear.

"I guess Shifu wasn't just blowing out hot air when he said this 'wasn't their destiny.'" Zoro mumbled.

"Yeah, no kidding. I couldn't even guess he'd use a bridge as a weapon." Sanji agreed with the swordsman, in an uncharacteristic show of unity.

Fortunately, Tai Lung was so focused on the enemy in front of him that he failed to notice Viper slither under him. She cracked her tail at him like a whip, before pressing her own assault. The attack caused the coils to loosen, letting Tigress fall free.

Crane swooped down to grab her just before she hit the cloud layer.

Viper wrapped herself around Tai Lung's wrist and face, before forcing him to punch himself again and again.

"Stop hitting yourself! You big grey dummy!" Chopper yipped, sticking his tongue out at the screen.

"Yeah! Dummy!" Luffy joined in swiftly after.

"Moron Cat!" Usopp then completed the set.

"They are enjoying this way too much" Franky noted off to the side.

Unfortunately, the lack of stable terrain allowed Tai Lung to manoeuvre around Viper's coils and firmly clamp down on her 'throat'.

"Monkey!" Viper cried out between breaths.

"Go!" Mantis called to his simian friend, as he was handed the last rope. He quickly realised his mistake. "What was I thinking?"

"Exactly! Look at you! Why would you think this is a rational choice?!" Jimbei screamed to the point that his eyes bulged out of his head.

Monkey jumped forth, delivering a brutal kick to Tai Lung's centre, that caused him to release his hold on Viper. The snow leopard was sent crashing into the slats, the sudden shift in weight made Mantis grunt with exertion as he held his grip on the ropes.

Tai Lung recovered almost immediately and charged darting between ropes in flashes grey.

"Mantis!" Tigress called out, still dangling from Crane's legs, as he carried her back to the battle. The insect immediately complied, whipping the ropes upwards and sending a sine wave across the bridge's length.

The Straw Hats were completed befuddled by the sudden display of strength from the insect. Lifting a panda was one thing, but an entire bridge seemed a bit extreme.

"So that's what made him think this was a rational choice." Robin stated smoothly.

"How? I could fit that guy in my palm?!" The rest of the crew gestured towards the screen in disbelief, before realising they themselves were no strangers to pint-sized powerhouses.

Monkey and Viper hopped out of the way to avoid the wave, but Tai Lung couldn't react fast enough, resulting in the ropes harshly whipping him in the face.

"Now!" With the tide now in their favour, four of the Five charged toward the snow leopard. Using the ropes as leverage, Monkey flipped himself upward dealing another blow the Tai Lung's stomach that send him flying back.

Viper coiled around Monkey's arm, before shooting her tail towards the Dark Master's face, causing him to stumble.

Then, Crane cut a length of rope with his beak, before sending Tai Lung flying into the air with a rising kick. Whilst he was airborne, Crane whirled around the snow leopard, wrapping him completely in the rope like the world's angriest Christmas present.

"They're going for the combo move! THEY'RE GOING FOR THE COMBO MOVE!" Chopper shrieked like a small child on his birthday.

"So cool!" Luffy and Usopp began to drool, their eyes sparkling in delight.

"Ugh, it getting everywhere! Wipe your mouths, idiots!" Nami complained.

The coup-de-grace came in the form of Tigress, who springboarded off Crane's head, and delivered devasting open palm strike to the immobilised Tai Lung. Combined with the pendulum of the rope, Tai Lung was sent flying back.

Quicker than a flash, Tigress sliced the other length of rope, making sure that the bridge was destroyed with no way across.

"YES!" The crew collectively cheered at the perfectly executed finisher that knocked the snow leopard back. Even the more reserved members could help but find themselves a little invested in the Five's struggle against the seemingly implacable Master.

The four members clutched onto the rope, as Mantis heaved them back to the start of the bridge. Tai Lung on the other was sent careening downwards with the rope-length into the cliff face, hopefully, never to be seen again.

The Five huffed in sheer exhaustion as the began to collect themselves. They started to leave before Tigress' ears pricked up.

"Oh, come on! What now?! There's no way he could've survived that!" Usopp whined.

"He fought against a rhino army without a single scratch." Zoro reminded his crewmate in a deadpan tone.

"He fought against gravity and won." Brook continued.

"He escaped the self-proclaimed, inescapable prison designed specifically to contain him." Robin finished blankly.

"Oh my God. He survived that." Usopp fearfully realised.

She turned back to see the inert rope length hanging from the bottom of the opposite cliff face slowly coil around the huge jut of rock. Tigress' eyes widened in realisation, as the rope cracked upwards from the layer of clouds below… Someone has swung upwards from it.

She couldn't see where he was, before a thunderous clap roared from behind her and her team. The Five whipped around to see that Tai Lung was standing right there; no laboured breathing and nor any outward indication that he was injured. Tigress' blood froze.

The cowardly trio began to freeze up, before fearful rivers of tears cascaded down their faces.

Even Luffy was thrown for a loop. The snow leopard seeming no worse for wear, despite all of the attacks he had received.

Brook screamed in fear. "The five strongest Kung Fu Masters there were barely slowing him down! He's a monster!" The statement was strongly worder, but no one on the crew could disagree.

"Shifu taught you well." He congratulated, before he thrust two fingers into Monkey's chest, faster than any of them could react. A wave of blue light careened across the simian's body before he seized up and fell to the ground twitching.

"A nerve strike?!" Chopper clambered on top of Usopp's head, hoping it would provide him with any small level of protection.

"But he didn't teach you everything." None of them had any time to react before he lunged at them again.

"Wait! What happened? Are they…?" Luffy sat, completely dismayed.

He looked to this friends, who were similarly speechless. With the Five gone, Po's chances seemed to be dwindling all the more. And if Tai Lung got the Dragon Scroll? Then there truly would be no hope left.

…..

Act Two completed. Thank you all for your (hopeful) patience. This chapter was a little harder to write with the giant number of fight scenes contained, but I need the experience in writing them, and dealing with them was a satisfyingly difficult nut to crack. I hope I captured the spirits of these sequences well. Trying to keep the Straw Hats in character whilst they watched the more serious scenes was also a tall task, but I tried to keep them all in character, otherwise what's the point in this?

The next chapter will conclude the first movie, so look forward to that. Then we have an intermission chapter, before we get to KFP 2; my favourite in the trilogy, and the one I'm most excited to write for.

Now for review responses:

Game2002: I'm sorry the last chapter wasn't up to your standard. I'm also sorry to inform you that there isn't going to be a major change in the way I write this fic. I like writing like this, and apparently others do too. I asked if there were any guidelines for React Fics at the start of the prologue and I was given no direction. So, I had to improvise. This isn't a script copy, as you can plainly see, and I'm not changing the way I write after both this chapter and the first. Please also keep in mind, this is my first-time writing. EVER. I'm gonna need to stretch my legs before I can run.

savageboss: That is dependent entirely on how I feel after writing this. I'm not even done with the first movie yet, so those horizons are a long way off. I have a few ideas, but that would be telling wouldn't it . Please don't let that stop you if you want to make your own stuff though.

Carre: Thanks for the support. As you can see that complaint you had has been addressed here. Hope you keep reading in the future.

AkArI16: Yeah, I thought about that too. But then I remembered when it comes to any form of fighting Luffy is a genius. So, I let him say that, only when he talks about fighting. In Whole Cake Island, Luffy also has a moment like that when discussing his strategy for fighting Katakuri with Brulee, so there is some precedent for it.

To all the other commenters, thanks for your kind words.

In other news, it is a seriously good time to be a FNAF and Spider-Man fan right now, huh? I'm very much looking forward to all these offerings from my favourite franchises.

Hope to see you again soon.

Ciao.