The Straw Hats React to Kung Fu Panda
I do not own any of the properties discussed in this piece of non-profit fan-based material. Any trademarked materials are strictly the sole property of their respective owners. With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy this reaction.
Act 3: The Secret Ingredient.
A few days after their training had concluded, both Po and Shifu entered the palace courtyard. Both of them looked refreshed and reinvigorated, despite their dishevelled states. The noodle boy could barely feel the weight of his oversized backpack anymore.
"You have done well Panda." Shifu remarked simply.
"Done well? Done well?! I've done awesome!" Po allowed the rare bit of praise to go to his head. He exclaimed his triumph to the world, causing his pendulous belly to knock Shifu off balance.
"Well, it's good to see that he's being so humble about it." Zoro mumbled with half-lidded eyes.
"Hey, if I just became a certified Kung Fu genius in no time flat, I'd probably brag non-stop too." Usopp chipped in.
"Don't kid yourself, Usopp. You'd brag regardless."
"YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT BUT SHUT UP!"
The Master quickly regained his composure. "The mark of a true hero is humility. But yes… you have done…" Shifu playfully punched Po in the side, hard enough for him to stagger.
"…Awesome." The two of them chuckled and wagged their fingers at each other like they were old friends.
"This guy's changed his tune real fast. It's like it wasn't even yesterday that he was throwing his students off mountains." Franky shed a tear of admiration for the red panda's development.
"That's probably because it wasn't even half an hour ago." Robin muttered monotonously.
Their smiles faltered, however, when they noticed a wide shadow cast on the ground in front of them. They turned to see Crane, carrying the rest of the Five bundled up in his talons. The bird Master carried his comrades to the ground, before he crashed with them into a bundled heap. They were all bruised and seemed to be frozen in mid action, like a horrified ice sculpture.
"Thank God. I actually thought they didn't make it for a second there." Nami breathed a small sigh of relief.
"Why would he let them go? By all means he had them dead to rights." Jimbei questioned.
"It's because they're his trophies." Sanji noted in disgust, having experienced this type of ruthless behaviour all too often over the course of his more formative years.
"Guys? Guys!" Po shrugged the backpack off his shoulders and rushed to check on the Masters. "They're dead! No, they're breathing!? They're asleep? Their eyes are open…"
As the panda fussed over the downed members of the Five; Crane continued to pant heavily. He was clearly exhausted from his own injuries and the trip back. "We were no match… for his nerve attack."
Shifu continued to examine the damage. He did not like what he saw. "He has gotten stronger." The red panda then proceeded to tap some pressure points on Mantis' thorax, freeing him from the paralysation.
"He's WHAT?!" The coward trio yelped in fear.
"Stronger than when he beat those Master guys?" Luffy squinted in confusion.
"Goodness. I thought he'd been stuck in that prison for years. That certainly can't be good for the joints. So how come he didn't waste away until he was nothing but bones?" Brook asked, clearly trying to set up a punchline that no one wanted to acknowledge.
Po's mouth immediately dried out of fear. "Who? Tai Lung? Stronger?!"
Shifu moved to Monkey, repeating the process. Po leaned over the simian Master to survey the extent of the damage. As soon as Monkey was released from the paralysis… and delivered a, previously, halted punch to the panda's face.
"Argh!" Chopper yelped out of pained sympathy.
"Hey, don't put your hand in the lions mouth if you're afraid of getting bit." Zoro stated.
"You are the last person in the world who should be giving safety advice." Nami responded flatly.
"He's too fast!" The Master screamed, before he realised where he was. "Sorry Po."
Shifu then worked to free Tigress. When she was released, she curled up into a ball out of shame. "I thought we could stop him."
"Clearly not." Franky commented.
"Hey, lay off man! The lovely Master Tigress did nothing wrong!" Sanji rebutted angrily.
"She lead her team into a fight they couldn't possibly hope to win. She did quite a bit wrong." Zoro grunted in response.
"NO ONE ASKED YOU, SWORDS FOR BRAINS!" Sanji flared up instantly with Zoro's interference. A brief spar unfurled, before it was silenced with Nami's iron fist.
"He could have killed you." Shifu admonished.
"Why didn't he?" Mantis groaned out of pain.
"So you could come back and strike fear into our hearts. But it won't work." Shifu grunted, whilst he worked to loosen Viper's coils.
Po audibly gulped. "Uh, it might… I mean, a little. I'm pretty scared."
"What a finely tuned response to the situation." Robin nodded in affirmation.
"I can't believe reactions like this aren't the norm for us." Nami agreed.
"Yeah. We're a little messed up." Usopp said. All three of them sighed in sad acceptance of their odd day-to-day routines.
"You can defeat him panda!" All of Shifu's previous doubts were gone. His tone, previously filled with contempt, now held nothing but admiration,
"Are you kidding? If they can't…" Po gestured to the still injured Five. "They're five Masters. I'm just one me."
"But you will have the one thing no one else does." The statement hung in the air for a second, before realisation dawned on Po's face.
"Wait… Does this mean?" Chopper asked with a sparkle in his eye.
"The secret to ultimate power?!" Luffy nodded along excitedly.
"Better be something good after all this hype." Zoro commented with only mild interest.
….
Minutes later, inside the Hall of Warriors, the group gathered at the foot of the Moon Pool. The Dragon Scroll still resting in the mouth of the ornate statue, just waiting for a worthy recipient.
Po looked towards Shifu, an unsure expression on his face. "You really… believe I'm ready?"
Shifu nodded warmly towards him. "You are… Po." It was the first time his Master had ever called him by his name. It was a big moment for the both of them.
Frank started to bawl uncontrollably. "I PROMISED MYSELF I WASN'T GONNA CRY BUT DAMMIT, IT'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL!"
The tears started to cascade down below, soaking his crewmates.
"Hey! Give it a rest would ya!" Zoro and Sanji yelled fiercely, their teeth sharpening to fine points out of rage.
The red panda then turned to a rack on a pedestal, surrounded by candles. At it's centre laid Oogway's staff, which was positioned directly below a portrait of Oogway in his youth performing Kung Fu. Shifu inhaled, before retrieving the staff and taking it to the pool.
He got himself into a ready stance and began to twirl the staff, eventually creating a miniature tornado of peach blossoms, as Po and the Five watched onwards with bated breath. The gentle current continued to rise, until a singular petal landed on the tip of the Dragon Scroll. The scroll contained in the mouth of the ornamental dragon slipped loose, before falling downwards.
Shifu angled the staff and, at the last second, caught it with the crescent edge before it hit the pool. He turned it and held it out to Po.
Usopp, Chopper and Luffy had their collective jaws on the ground from the Master's display. They slid down from their chairs before slowly picking themselves up again, their entire bodies shaking in anticipation.
"So that's how they get it down." Zoro mused to himself.
"Behold the Dragon Scroll… it is yours." The Master said.
Po reached out, before he hesitated. "Wait… what happens when I read it?"
"No one knows, but legend says you will be able to hear a butterfly's wingbeat."
"Aww what? That's so lame! Why don't we get Kung Fu death rays or something?" Luffy asked, slightly disappointed.
"Again, martial arts is not a superpower." Sanji reiterated.
"Yes I would have to agree on that sentiment." Jimbei agreed, before using a Fishman Karate technique to lift some of the soda in his cup into his mouth, which made Sanji grind his teeth with such intensity that sparks started to fly.
Po's face started to light up. "Whoa! Really?! That's cool."
"Yes. And see light in the deepest cave. You will feel the universe around you in motion."
Po was now starting to feel a bit overenthusiastic and began to punch the air in excitement. "Wow! Can I punch through walls? Can I do a quadruple backflip? Will I have invisibility-"
"See? He's got the right idea." Luffy agreed with the panda's far more impressive sounding options for the scroll's abilities.
"Let it go man. It's not happening." Usopp patted him on the back, trying to temper his captains expectations.
Shifu's eyes fell in exasperation. "Focus… focus."
"Huh? Oh, yeah… yeah." Po corrected himself immediately.
"Read it, Po, and fulfil your destiny. Read it and become… the Dragon Warrior!" Shifu proclaimed, grandiosely.
"Oh wow, I wonder what kind of cultural significance a relic like this holds. It has to be hundreds of years old." Nami mused, whilst her eyes had been replaced by flashing Berri signs like some sort of biological slot machine.
"For some reason I think it's 'cultural significance' is the last thing on your mind." Robin mumbled, with a slight giggle behind her words.
"Whoa!" Po took the scroll and started to work at pulling the top off. It wouldn't budge. He strained against it. "It's impossible to open."
He strained again, before he started to bite it. Shifu held out his paw and, reluctantly, Po passed it to his Master.
It was opened instantly, before being passed back to him.
"I understand that he's the supposed 'chosen one', but something tells me he wasn't chosen for his ability to open everyday objects." Brook commented, cheekily.
"Or to see/touch his toes." Sanji scoffed.
"Thank you. I probably loosened it for you." Po took a deep breath, before retrieving to parchment from within the casing. "Okay, here goes."
The panda unrolled the scroll, before the reflection from what was within started to bathe his face in a warm golden glow. Shifu and Five leaned in, fully aware that they were about to witness history.
Po fully unfurled the scroll, before letting out a bloodcurdling scream.
The majority of the crew jumped back slightly at the sheer volume of the panda's exclamation.
"What is it doing to him?" Jimbei questioned frantically.
"It would appear that the sheer volume of ancient knowledge has overwhelmed his small, underdeveloped panda mind and has resulted in irreparable brain damage." Robin hypothesised.
"THERE'S NO NEED TO BE SO DARK!" Usopp screamed, his crewmate's horrific guesses not doing anything to assuage the tension.
The others were completely startled, noticing Po's horrified expression. The panda then turned to them.
"It's blank."
Shifu's heart galloped in his chest. "What?!"
"HUH?!" The entirety of the Straw Hat Crew, minus Robin, responded in abject disbelief; their eyes (or lack thereof in Brook's case) bulged out of their heads in shock.
"Here, look!" Po attempted to show Shifu the contents of the scroll, but the red panda recoiled away, like a vampire trying to hide from the sun.
"No! I am forbidden to look upon…" Shifu stopped mid-sentence and yanked the scroll from Po's grip. It was as his pupil said, the only thing the contain on the parchment was a reflective piece of gold silk. He turned it upside down, reverse folded it and opened and closed it. The was no change.
"Wait… so you mean to tell me, all of this… was for nothing?" Sanji seethed.
"This has to be trick." Jimbei said in disbelief.
Even Luffy, who had previously firmly believed in Oogway's statute that there were 'no accidents', was even more befuddled than he usually was.
"Blank? I don't understand." Shifu wracked his brain. Was there something he missed? Was this another test?
Meanwhile, Po was losing patience. "Okay. So, like, Oogway… was just a crazy old turtle after all?"
"That would seem to be the most reasonable assumption. He definitely seemed cracked in the skull. Yohohoho!" Brook commented, before shrinking in his seat from the glares emitted by a good majority of his crewmates.
"But why go through all this trouble for a small scrap of parchment?" Usopp attempted to rationalise.
"Misdirection? Trying to redirect potential enemies away from the true scroll?" Robin posited her theory.
"And Oogway wouldn't tell his brightest and best about it? I think it's just a case of late, late, late-stage senility." Zoro huffed in conclusion.
"No." Shifu said firmly. "Oogway was wiser than us all."
"Oh, come on! He picked me by accident." Po flopped down on to the floor, completely dejected. "Of course, I'm not the Dragon Warrior."
Usopp and Chopper instantly deflated upon hearing the panda lose faith in himself once more. It was harrowing to see him brought so low after finally having a glimpse at attaining his dream.
"But who will stop Tai Lung?" Tigress finally spoke up.
"He'll destroy everything… and everyone." Crane added.
"It's obvious! Just give him the scroll! Then he'll back off." Nami gestured towards the screen, as if he course of action should have been the most logical option.
"That won't work." Luffy noted in a rare moment of gravitas. "When he sees that the scroll's got nothing on it, he'll go ballistic and take it out on whoever's nearest."
The crew was taken aback by their captain's uncharacteristic observation, before silently agreeing with him that there was no easy resolution to this problem.
Shifu gazed into his own reflection in the Moon Pool for a long moment. He slipped the scroll back into it's container and sighed, there was only one option remaining.
"No." He handed Po the scroll. "Evacuate the Valley. You must protect the villagers from Tai Lung's rage."
Tigress' eyes widened slightly. "What about you Master?
"I will fight him." The statement cut through his pupils like a knife.
"What?!" Chopper yelped.
"That's suicide!" Franky screamed. "He took down some of your best students simultaneously! You won't stand a chance!"
"What?" Po asked softly.
"I can hold him off long enough for everyone else to escape."
"But Shifu. He'll kill you." Po said. It wasn't said from a lack of faith in his Master's ability, it was a cold, hard fact.
"Then I will finally have paid for my mistake." Shifu acknowledged solemnly. Po and the Five looked devastated.
"Augh!" Luffy groaned. He had seen this self-sacrificial mindset far too many times on his travels, and he'd be lying if he said it wasn't starting to grate on him.
"That's not how you pay for mistakes or pave the way for the future. Stupid raccoon." Sanji grumbled, who had already learned this this lesson the hard way.
"Listen to me, all of you." Shifu asked. "It is time you continue your journey without me. I am very proud to have been your Master."
The red panda saluted them, and they in turn saluted back. Po was devastated, as he saw Shifu turn away to prepare for his upcoming battle. Crane stepped forward, and kindly put his wing around the panda to lead him away. Po momentarily resisted, before going with the Five, and leaving Shifu to his fate.
The Straw Hats sat still, utterly bereft of expression as Po and the Five slowly walked away from their Master. There was simply no immovable object that could stand in the way of the unstoppable force that was Tai Lung. At least not one they could see right away.
…
That same night, Po and the Five gathered at the base of the Thousand Stairs, where they were met with the villagers already scrambling to escape. Tigress immediately fell into her role as leader and began to issue orders.
"We've got to get them to safety. Viper, gather the southern farmers. Mantis, the north. Crane, light the way." She handed the bird a lantern, before he took to the skies to illuminate a path forwards.
"Wow, these guys are pretty well organised." Nami whistled, a tiny bit of jealousy emerging from behind her words.
"I'd imagine it would be standard procedure. I remember all the evacuation mandates we had to follow during my early days on Fishman Island, when the Great Pirate Era started. It thought they were stupid then. Now? Not so much." Jimbei mused remembering what a disaster the falling of the Noah could have been, were it not for the actions of both his cremates and the Kingdom's efforts.
"Come, little one. Let's find your mama." Monkey picked up a small, lost child before taking her to find her parents.
As the Five worked to help the citizens, Po was left by himself, the scroll still in hand. He made his way through the bustling town, in the throes of evacuation. The noodle boy passed a couple of pigs working to haul a stone dragon onto a cart. They noticed him and stared to whisper.
"Look, it's the Dragon Warrior." One said sceptically. Po ignored them, now dull to the insults, and continued onwards to his destination.
"Oh, lay off! He's got enough to worry about without you jerks bringing him down!" Usopp jeered at the pigs onscreen.
"Yeah! You walking strips of bacon!" Luffy added, whilst sticking his tongue out.
"That's a bit too dark, Luffy." Chopper said with a hint of trepidation.
Po stood before Mr Ping's Noodle shop, his head still scraping against the entrance. He noted how strange it was that despite all the recent change, somethings would always stay the same. Inside, he saw his father preparing to leave.
"Hey, Dad." Po mumbled morosely.
Mr Ping's expression lit up, before he turned and enveloped his son in a bear (goose?) hug, which Po happily returned. Ping pulled away to reveal that he had tied an apron around the panda's waist.
"Imagine experiencing all that, then going back to just being a regular noodle guy." Franky mumbled sadly.
"Imagine being a noodle boy at all." Zoro huffed.
"If you have no respect for the craft, don't expect any of that Soba you like so much anytime soon, Mosshead." Sanji snarled back.
"Good to have you back son!" Ping chirped happily, before returning to his packing job.
"Good to be back." Po responded listlessly.
"Let's go Po." Ping voiced, as he struggled to haul the cart containing their belongings. Po relieved him of the burden, as they both left the shop. Po took one final look at the palace, now partially shrouded by an enclave of dark storm clouds.
"Woah! Does Tai Lung have some kind of Storm Devil Fruit? Shifu really doesn't stand a chance if that's the case." Chopper began to nibble at the tips of his hooves.
Robin only giggled in response to the youngest member of the crew's statement. "No, Chopper. It's a filmmaking technique called pathetic fallacy. It's used to amplify the gravitas of a scene by having the weather reflect the mood."
"Huh?!" Luffy sounded confused. "He's controlling the weather. How's that pathetic?"
"THAT'S NOT AT ALL WHAT SHE SAID!" Nami screamed in frustration.
"So, for our next shop, it's time to face it… the future of noodles is dice-cut vegetables, no longer sliced." Ping continued, unaware that Po was slowing down. "Also, I was thinking, maybe this time we'll have a kitchen you can actually stand-up in. Hmm. You like that?"
"That should always be the standard, you old bird!" Sanji hollered at the screen, throwing his hands into the air.
Ping turned, only to notice Po had stopped dead in his tracks. He slowly walked up to his son sympathetically. "Er, Po… I'm sorry things didn't work out. It just… wasn't meant to be." The panda only slumped against the cart dejectedly.
"Po." The goose continued. "Forget everything else. Your destiny still awaits. We are noodle folk… broth runs through our veins!"
"If broth IS running through any of your veins then you should probably see a doctor. Then again I have no veins, so who am I to judge? Yohohoho!" Brook japed.
Po appreciated his father's attempts to cheer him up but sighed once again. "I don't know Dad. Honestly, sometimes I can't even believe I'm your son."
Ping was visibly taken aback by the statement, as he gulped. "Po, I think it's time I told you something I should have told you a long time ago."
"Yes! Finally!" Nami exclaimed. She was glad that this nonsense would finally be resolved so that they could finally move on from this, frankly, ridiculous subplot.
Po looked up, slightly intrigued and temporarily relieved from his melancholy. "Okay…"
Ping leaned in, before taking a brief scan of the surrounding area. He paused, dramatically. "The… secret ingredient for my secret ingredient soup."
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Nami snapped, her eyes rolling into the back of her head in rage.
"Why is Nami so eager to know about a noodle recipe?" Chopper whispered to Luffy.
"Dunno. Maybe she's hungry?" The captain mumbled, completely disinterested. "She can't have any of my snacks though."
"I DON'T WANT ANY!" Nami shrieked with the fury of a thousand banshee.
Po deflated slightly, before feigning excitement. "Oh."
"C'mere. The secret ingredient is…" The goose paused again. "… nothing!"
Sanji froze for a second, before his face collapsed into his open palms. "It's… nothing?"
"So, the noodle soup he served the Five was the actual secret ingredient soup?" Usopp asked, perturbed.
"It would seem so." Jimbei confirmed.
Now it was Po's turn to be taken off guard. "Huh?"
"You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient." Ping exclaimed, who seemed equal parts glad and relieved he could finally share this information with his son.
"Wait, wait, wait… it's just plain old noodle soup. You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?" Po stumbled over his own words trying to think of an explanation.
Ping simply shook his head. "Don't have to. To make something special, you just have believe it's special."
Upon hearing the statement, Luffy's eyes immediately lit up like a Christmas as he made a face like he just understood the secrets of the universe. "I get it now!" He proclaimed.
Zoro and Sanji also smirked.
"A little ham-fisted, but I suppose it gets the job done."
Nami, Chopper and Usopp merely tilted their heads, as their faces were adorned with expressions of utter confusion.
"What?! Get what?!" They asked, completely befuddled.
The words hung in the air over Po's head, like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle he didn't know he was solving. He unfolded the Dragon Scroll and gazed directly into it's reflective golden surface. It was just him. No. It was just him. Realization dawned on his face. He finally understood.
"There is no secret ingredient." He repeated. He turned back to his confused father, then to the cloud covered place. He knew what he had to do.
It was Robin, Franky, Brook and Jimbei's turn for realisation to dawn on them.
"Aww that's SUPER!" The shipwright exclaimed, as if a battle sized lightbulb had been flicked on atop his head.
"What is?! Come on! Share!" The weakling trio started to whine, feeling like they had been left out of something important.
…..
The clouds crackled with sound and light, as they surrounded the top of the Jade Palace. Outside the entrance to the Hall of Warriors, Shifu stood alone. He said nothing, as he silently awaited his fate. He noticed the small illuminations of lanterns from the evacuation slowly make their way out of the Valley. He closed in eyes and breathed in relief. When he opened them again Tai Lung stood before him, like a grey spectre, eyes still glowing a fierce orange.
"I have come home, Master." The snow leopard voiced with an air of deep reverence.
The Coward Trio recoiled in their seats out of pure terror. None of them could have foreseen Tai Lung suddenly appearing out of the ether, ready for a true challenge.
Whilst the weakest of the team continued to shudder, the rest of the crew sat perfectly still. Each of them balancing on their seats as if it were a knife's edge.
"This is no longer your home, and I am no longer your Master." Shifu said coldly, not even flinching at his son's sudden presence.
"Ah, yes. You have a new favourite. So where is this… Po?" Tai Lung chuckled humourlessly. "Did I scare him off?"
"This battle is between you and me."
"So…" The snow leopard turned his back to his old teacher. "That is how it's going to be?"
That is how it must be." Shifu instantly assumed a ready position.
"No father should have to fight his son." Brook lamented softly.
"No son should want to kill his father." Jimbei said.
"A good father wouldn't be deserving of a fight." Sanji sighed.
Tai Lung looked back… before instantly springing into the air and driving his heel into the stone of the stairs. Shifu lunged out of the way milliseconds before the steps cracked into a deep web. Before the red panda could react, Tai Lung kicked a sizable chunk of the debris at his former Master.
Zoro's eye widened at the display. "So fast! Even more so than last time!"
Usopp bit his nails anxiously. "I don't think even Shifu can stand up to him now!"
Shifu responded with a heavy strike, that caused the boulder to crumble around his fist. Unfortunately, Tai Lung pressed the attack again, using the boulder as a diversion to get in closer. He threw a solid punch at Shifu, the force of which sent him crashing through the doors of the Hall of Warriors.
Shifu landed gracefully, despite his pain, and reassumed his stance.
"Oh my God! I don't think even I could take a hit like that!" Franky was utterly dumbstruck upon seeing how Shifu had managed to survive a hit that not only lifted a boulder straight from the ground, but completely burst through the hundred-year oak door with relative ease.
Tai Lung stomped through the broken entrance; his face contorted with pure rage.
"I rotted in that jail for twenty years because of your weakness." He snarled.
"Obeying your Master is not weakness!" Shifu retorted.
"You knew I was the Dragon Warrior! You always knew! But when Oogway said otherwise, what did you do? What did you do?" Shifu couldn't respond, his mind flashed back to the day of those events. "NOTHING!"
"Wait. So, all this was his fault?!" Luffy asked incredulously.
"What?! No! It's kitty-cat's fault for taking his frustrations on a village, just because he couldn't get his dumb promotion." Zoro grunted in response.
"Does this really matter now!?" Chopper exclaimed, partially hopped up on adrenaline.
"You were not mean to be the Dragon Warrior! That was not my fault!" Shifu angrily defended himself.
Tai Lung thrust his claw in the red panda's direction, his arm shaking in fury. "NOT YOUR FAULT? WHO FILLED MY HEAD WITH DREAMS?" He kicked a set of armour at Shifu.
The Straw Hats stared at each other with a litany of frowns. Their dreams had carried them all this far on their journeys, but it was their dreams. Not ones that had been forced on them by others. Having those expectations forced on you by others was no way to live your own life.
"WHO DROVE ME TO TRAIN UNTIL MY BONES CRACKED?!" The Dark Master threw a shield at Shifu like a discus, with such force that it was imbedded into the pillar next to his father after he dodged.
Zoro reflexively caressed his knuckles upon hearing that statement.
"WHO DENIED ME MY DESTINY?!" Tai Lung then finally launched an entire set of bladed weapons at the red panda, who deflected them all with precise palm strikes. To finish off, the snow leopard stomped a broadsword into the air before kicking it directly at Shifu. In a dazzling display, Shifu rotated around the sword and guided it directly into the floor.
"If this wasn't so tense I'd probably find this really cool. But it's really tense, so I can't." Usopp breathed in at Shifu's display.
"It was never my decision to make!" The Master asserted. Tai Lung seethed in response before jumping to find a new weapon. He paused a Oogway's staff, resting on a podium. His eye's widened in realisation, before he picked it up and faced Shifu.
"It is now." Shifu was incensed and lashed out. Tai Lung parried his flurry of strikes, before slamming him into the ground and pinning him to it using the staff in a stranglehold.
"Oh, you did not just...!" Robin seethed.
"How dare you desecrate his memory, you short-sighted fool!" Jimbei admonished.
"Give… me… the scroll." The snow leopard seethed, steadily applying more pressure to the hold.
"I would rather die!" Shifu managed to choke out. The two struggled against each other until…
SNAP!
"NO!" The entire crew screamed in a combination of rage and sadness. Even Oogway's last remnant seemed to be no match for Tai Lung's fury.
Oogway's staff broke in two. Shifu looked towards the pieces, utterly distraught, as a flutter of peach tree blossoms flew by. Caught off guard, Tai Lung launched a flying kick at Shifu, that sent him into the wall. The snow leopard's foot still on his head, Shifu strained against the force of the kick before throwing his opponent aside and darting up one of the many pillars inside the Hall for cover.
The Master's eyes widened upon seeing Tai Lung give chase, and soon the two were darting between each column, the red panda barely able to stay ahead.
"This guys' relentless. There's nothing but pure, blind fury behind those attacks." Sanji commented.
"He fights like a man possessed." Franky noted, feeling a bead of sweat trickle from his. "Or a… snow leopard possessed I guess?"
Shifu then shot himself upwards to the rafters, only for Tai Lung to follow him and spring forward with such intensity that he carried both of them straight through the ceiling of the palace and into the sky above.
The lightning around them flashed violently as they continued the clash in mid-air, the blows hitting hard with both speed and precision. Shifu managed to find an opening, getting his opponent into a choke hold and pinning his arm behind his back, with the intent of sending him face-first into the roof of the palace.
"Yeah, old raccoon guy! Give him what for!" Luffy threw his hands to the air in cheer.
"Why do I even bother?" Chopper groaned, the life slowly draining from his face.
With a twist, however, Tai Lung freed himself from his former Master's hold, before grasping his paws around Shifu's throat as they crashed directly into the roof of the palace. Shifu bore the brunt of the damage upon re-entry, before Tai Lung kicked the two of them apart, sending the red panda reeling directly into one of the columns and then to the floor. The snow leopard, however, bounced off the wall, knocking over a blue lantern, spilling azure flames all over the jade floor.
Tai Lung roared through the flames, setting his paws alight, as he continued to assail the dazed Shifu, who was now barely able to hold him back.
The cowardly trio's eyes shot out of their skulls. "Holy flaming fists!"
"Maybe Oogway should have just made this guy the Dragon Warrior after all. Would've saved them all a great deal of trouble." Brook started to sweat despite his lack of sweat glands, (a fact he went through great efforts to remind everyone of.)
"Would you seriously want this brute to be in charge of the security of an entire nation?" Robin questioned, with an arched eyebrow.
"Fair point." The musician conceded.
"All I ever did; I did to make you proud." The snow leopard grunted between strikes. "Tell me how proud you are Shifu! Tell me! Tell me! TELL ME!" With a final scream, Tai Lung delivered a massive, fiery strike that sent Shifu flying all the way to the base of the Moon Pool. With a flick of his wrists, the Dark Master extinguished the flames as he crept up slowly towards Shifu.
The red panda wheezed, struggling to pick himself up. "I…have always been proud of you. From the first moment… I've been proud of you."
The crew gasped. Partly at the fact that Shifu could still speak after the beating he had just received, but mostly from the fact that the previously stoic Master was now on his hands and knees, finally facing a problem he could not dismiss or overpower.
"Come on you dumb cat. Just listen to him." Luffy muttered.
Tai Lung stopped dead in his tracks.
"And it was my pride… that blinded me. I loved you too much to see what you were becoming. What I… was turning you into… I'm… I'm sorry."
Save for Zoro, Sanji and Robin; small pricks of tears began to form in the eyes of the crewmembers. If Shifu couldn't get his son to stop then there would be truly no hope for the Valley.
"Just let it go! He's all you have!" Nami started to groan, knowing that she still felt, in some small part, responsible for driving her adoptive mother to death all those years ago.
"You still have so much more time to make something new!" Brook attempted to rationalise.
Tai Lung's expression softened, his eyes shimmering with the beginning of tear-fall. Shifu waited for a long moment… before his son's eyes sharpened, and he was grabbed by the throat.
"No!" The vast majority of the audience cried out. "Let it go! There's nothing to gain!"
"I don't want your apology… I want my scroll!" The snow leopard held his former Master up in the air. Looking past Shifu, he saw that the mouth of the ornamental dragon was completely empty.
"What? WHERE IS IT?!" Tai Lung slammed Shifu into the ground, hard enough to leave a web of cracks from the impact.
Usopp placed his hands on his head and started to breathe heavily. "Oh my God. He's actually gonna kill him."
"Indeed. It seems he's too far gone." Jimbei tilted his head downwards.
"Come on, Po! You can still save him!" Chopper yelped outwards.
"Chopper, even Shifu couldn't do anything. That panda stands a snowball's chance in hell against this monster." Sanji attempted to dissuade his teammate's notions of foolhardy hope.
Shifu began to desperately fight for a sliver of air. "Dragon Warrior has taken the scroll halfway across China… by now. You will never see that scroll, Tai Lung. Never! N-never!"
Shifu began to lose consciousness, as Tai Lung snarled and unsheathed his claws, ready to strike.
"Hey!"
"Ha! Yes!" Luffy exclaimed loudly, as if he always had faith that the true Dragon Warrior would eventually return.
Tai Lung whipped his head around to the source of the yell, to see Po standing in the broken doorway, the sun rising triumphantly behind him. It would've been a heroic sight… were he not crouched over, desperately panting for breath.
"Huff… Huff… Huff… Stairs… Huff."
"Ugh." The crew started to groan, feeling something resembling second-hand embarrassment.
"Is it too much to ask for us for one good dramatic entrance?" Chopper asked.
"With this guy? Yes." Nami responded simply.
Tai Lung looked utterly baffled. "Who are you?"
"Buddy… I… am the Dragon Warrior." Po assumed a stance, before keeling over again. "Huff."
Tai Lung chuckled in amused disbelief before he released Shifu. "You?! Him?! He's a panda. You're a panda. What're you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?" He taunted.
"Good grief I hope not. Not even Oars could withstand an ass-ault that mighty." Brook choaked out, causing a few giggles from his crewmates.
Meanwhile, Nami was starting to approach the end of her rope with the childish behaviour being conducting. "Absolute children. I swear."
Po gave a curt laugh. "Don't tempt me. Haha. No, I'm gonna use this!" He produced the Dragon Scroll from his back pocket.
"You want it? Come and get it."
Faster than the eye could track, Tai Lung knocked Po out of the room, catching the scroll as it flew out of the panda's paws.
"That's what you get for sticking your hand in the lion's jaws." Usopp said.
"I think he's a snow leopard, dude." Zoro responded.
"IT'S AN EXPRESSION!"
"Finally!" he exclaimed joyously.
What he failed to notice, however, was Po bouncing off one of the columns to the building like a rubber ball. He rocketed back into Tai Lung, sending him flying into his own column, before Po caught the scroll as it flew out the Dark Master's own paws.
"Huh?" Luffy exclaimed. "Did he just steal one of my moves?!"
"No. He got punched and bounced of a pillar." Sanji responded, listlessly.
"Yeah. Like I would have! He stole my move!" The captain declared with an uncharacteristic level of fury.
"Why are you getting mad? Just because someone else kicks someone doesn't mean I should get mad. I don't have exclusive rights to kick people."
"You have near-exclusive rights to being a perv though." Nami huffed.
"I'm only a perv for you though, Nami dear!" The cook exclaimed, his hearts reverting to their previous heart shapes.
"That's a lie." The rest of the crew responded unanimously.
Tai Lung looked completely befuddled, stunned that the rotund panda had actually landed a blow on him. Po on the other hand looked just as stunned, before he struck a pose and taunted the snow leopard, daring him to make a move.
And make a move he did; Tai Lung immediately got on all fours and charged towards the panda, like two-hundred-pound rottweiler about to maul a small toddler. Po's eyes immediately shot open before he turned to run, the enraged beast seeming to charge at him in slow motion.
"Pfft." Despite the situation, Usopp couldn't help but finding himself laughing at the absurdity of Po's expression. He was swiftly joined by Luffy and Chopper, even as the Dark Master leapt upon Po.
Tai Lung tackled Po off the ground, and both of them went flying down the set of stairs. Po fought to keep and iron grip on the scroll, before Tai Lung delivered a knee strike that shot him into the pagoda roof of the courtyard down below.
The panda bounced off the roof into the same tree that he once used as a makeshift catapult, it's trunk bending under his weight once again. Tai Lung lunged at him once more, before Po smirked and rolled to the side, causing the tree to whip into the snow leopard's face, sending him reeling.
"Ha! He's getting his butt handed to him by a tree!" Luffy laughed at Tai Lung's comical injury.
"But why? He completely wiped Shifu and the Five earlier. Why's he having so much trouble now?" Franky asked, completely puzzled.
Tai Lung skidded against the rooftop before leaping for the scroll once again; he knocked Po down the apex of the Thousand Stairs, sending him bouncing down towards the town below. The snow leopard quickly gave chase, following the panda's descent.
"That scroll is mine!" Tai Lung yelled as he jumped up towards Po and attempted to wrench the scroll from his paws. He struck the pillowy flesh of the panda again and again, only for his attacks to seemingly have no effect; meanwhile he was getting crushed between Po's considerable weight and the hard stone of the stairs again and again. It became even worse when the snow leopard found himself crushed under the panda's voluminous butt.
The crew collectively paused in a shared moment of embarrassment. All save for the three youngers members who started to bawl in hysterics.
"I mean you kinda set yourself up for that one buddy." Zoro attempted to rationalise Tai Lung's earlier taunting with his current situation.
"I wouldn't wish this fate on my worst enemy." Brook whispered in fear.
The two combatants crashed into the gateway that signalled the entrance into the town, the scroll flying out of both of their reach. Tai Lung continued his pursuit, whilst Po was knocked into a noodle cart. Once he regained his bearings, a new strategy started to formulate in his mind.
Just before Tai Lung managed to snatch the flying scroll, Po snagged it out of his reach using a noodle lasso. Unfortunately, the scroll flew towards him faster than he could react, bouncing off his head and flying into the sky once again.
"This is… not going the way I thought it would." Nami proclaimed, slightly thrown off by the tone of the fight.
"How did you think it would go?" Chopper asked.
"Probably with a significantly higher level of blood and gore." Robin said off to the side.
"SO DARK!" Chopper yelped.
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY AT ALL!" Nami screamed.
Tai Lung again chased after the scroll, becoming increasingly frustrated that he was being matched by such a bumbling fool. He humped upwards the catch the scroll, but Po grabbed him by the legs and forced him back down onto the opposite end of a wooden cart. The cart then see-sawed, sending Po flying into the air after the scroll, as he slurped the noodles that he had previously used as a weapon.
"This is so weird. I love it!" Luffy clapped enthusiastically.
"Oh, I get it now." Usopp pounded his fist into his palm. "He can't attack Po, because he can't get a read on his fighting style."
"Indeed." Jimbei confirmed. "Any identifiable fighting style can't be adequately performed by someone of his… build. Therefore he can't identify any openings."
As quickly as he was sent flying, Po came crashing down into a grove of bamboo shoots. The trees briefly rustled, before the panda came stumbling out, somehow having managed to turn to shoots into a pair of improvised stilts.
"CAN'T YOU TAKE THIS THE LEAST BIT SERIOUSLY?!" Nami started to scream at the panda.
"Weren't you paying attention? Playing on the straight and narrow isn't gonna work here." Zoro retorted in response.
"Hey! Did I just hear you talking down to my dear Nami, cactus head?!" Sanji seethed at the swordsman.
"NOBODY WAS TALKING TO YOU MORON!" Zoro howled.
As Po fought to regain his balance, he noticed the scroll land inside a lantern, before tumbling out and rolling to a stop in the middle of the alley… just as Tai Lung landed in front of it with a resounding THUD!
Po momentarily panicked, before noticing the mass of woks he had accidentally knocked over during his landing. Thinking quickly, he used the stilt to knock one of the woks directly into Tai Lung's face, with such speed that an imprint was left in the metal.
Chopper and Usopp winced in pain, before they devolved back into their chuckling fits with Luffy.
"Excellent use of the environment as well! No wonder Shifu was so confident in him."
Whilst the Dark Master was distracted, Po flipped over the remaining woks, hiding the scroll under one and turning the mess into an improvised shell's game. Tai Lung pried the wok away from his face and was greeted with the sight of Po shifting the pots around at ludicrously high speeds, to the point that they were no more than darkened blurs.
Zoro of all people was taken the most off guard. "That's even faster than the old man! What has he been feeding him?"
"Nothing? He was literally starving him." Franky responded.
"Maybe we should do that for Luffy…" Zoro began, before he was met with a killing glare from his captain.
"Lightning! Whoo!" Po cheered, before Tai Lung growled once more and knocked all the woks away with a sweep of his leg.
Po was taken aback, before he began using the legs of his stilts to block Tai Lung's attempts to grab the exposed scroll. The snow leopard swiped the stilts away before grabbing the scroll… which resulted on Po landing directly on top of him, knocking the scroll out of his paws and down the street.
"Surely you can't have this much trouble holding onto a scroll can you?" Robin questioned.
"Under normal circumstances? No. But they're fighting for their lives here, cut them some slack." Usopp reasoned.
Tai Lung flipped the panda off him before giving chase again. The blow knocked Po into a fireworks cart, who quickly formulated a new plan. He ignited all the fireworks and gave chase, screaming like a madman as he soared towards Tai Lung like a rocket.
"You've gotta be joking me." Nami froze in perplexation.
"HE'S USING EVERYTHING THAT PREVIOUSLY WORKED AGAINST HIM AND HELD HIM BACK AS A NEW SOURCE OF STRENGTH!" Franky tearfully realised. "I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A SUPER SEAMLESS WEAVING OF ACTION AND STORYTELLING BEFORE!"
"Shishishishi! He's gonna run him over! I love this guy!" Luffy had to steady himself on his seat to stop himself from falling over.
"It's like I'm experiencing to two polar extremes of film criticism." Brook noted, like he was experiencing two wild animals in their natural habitat.
The snow leopard's eyes bulged in a mixture of fear and disbelief as the car slammed through him, launching him into the air. Po grabbed the scroll as he soared past… before promptly slamming into a wall. The scroll once again leapt out of his paw, before coming to rest in the jaw of a decorative ornamental dragon on the side of a building.
"How?! How does this keep happening?! Just grab the scroll and keep it in your hand! It's not that difficult!" Sanji was starting to fume, seemingly under the impression that the scroll must have been secretly made out of used banana peels.
Po pulled himself to his feet, before turning to see Tai Lung charging once more, his claws creating sparks as he raked them against the stone pathways. Po looked up at the scroll, before closing his eyes and summoning all his remaining motivation. When he reopened them, in the scrolls place sat an enticing cookie. Nigh-instantaneously, Po began to parkour up the side to the building with an expert level of finesse.
"Oh my God! Cookie fuelled Kung-Fu!" Luffy announced happily.
"That's… actually not entirely inaccurate." Nami conceded.
"The scroll has given him power! NO!" Tai Lung screamed, before running into a powerful flying kick that struck the side of the building, which instantly began to buckle under the force of the blow. Po hastily clambered from one piece of collapsing building to the next, all the while Tai Lung crept ever closer. The snow leopard started to bite at his heels, and, in his fear, Po began to kick dozens of rooftiles at his enemy with the force and speed of a gatling gun.
The sight of the previously implacable Dark Master of Kung Fu having his face stuffed with rooftiles was a juxtaposition that caused a few chuckles from even outside the audience. Except Sanji.
"How can he generate such speed with those tiny legs?" The cook looked dumbfounded.
"Fear the fat, Sanji." Brook's response was frustratingly curt and offered no answer.
"THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER BONEHEAD!" The crew's left hand responded angrily.
The building finally gave way yet, amazingly, Po managed to skip between suspended pieces of rumble and yanked the scroll towards him.
Unfortunately, Tai Lung took the opportunity to launch himself behind the panda and launched a punishing heel kick that sent Po smashing into the ground outside of Ping's noodle shop.
"Wow! He's dead!" Luffy claimed plainly.
Tai Lung wasn't finished, however, and followed up with a meteoric double punch that sent a huge mushroom cloud of dust into the sky.
"Wow! He's REALLY dead." The captain continued.
"Stop that…" Usopp warned dangerously.
As the dust began to settle, Tai Lung stood looming over Po at the centre of the massive crater caused by his attack. He was surprised by his exhaustion, but still claimed his prize, clearly relishing over his hard-won victory.
"Finally… oh yes... the power of the Dragon Scroll is… MINE!"
"Oh no!" Nami exclaimed.
"Why are you getting all worked up for? There's nothing on it." Franky reminded her.
"Oh right." In her panic, the navigator forgot the circumstances of the battle.
"However, there is the possibility that he will react badly enough to destroy the Valley in his rage." Robin hypothesized.
"OH NO!" Nami screamed, this time tears descended from her eyes in flowing streams.
Tai Lung unfurled the scroll. His triumph turning in abject horror as he stared at the reflective silk. He flipped it, turned it inside out and upside down.
"IT'S NOTHING!"
Po slowly collected himself, wincing. "It's okay. I didn't get it the first time either."
"Get what?" The cowardly trio's confusion had now transmuted into frustration.
"Come on guys, it's not that hard to understand." Zoro huffed in annoyance.
"Yeah, even blades-for-brains gets it." Sanji started before swiftly catching himself. "You take as much time as you need to, Nami dear!" The cook finished sweetly, even as Zoro, Usopp and Chopper directed a coterie of flaming gazes towards him.
"What?" Tai Lung asked in disbelief.
"There is no secret ingredient." The snow leopard tossed the scroll onto the ground in rage. "It's just you."
Po gazed at his reflection in the scroll and, for the first time in a while, smiled in contentment.
The message then instantly clicked for the three. "Oh, I get it. It's about loving what you can already do and accepting yourself." Chopper flicked his head playfully.
"Huh, that's pretty nice." Usopp commented, feeling a refreshing wave pass over him.
"Yeah it's a metafloor." Luffy giggled, unaware of his mistaken turn of phrase.
"How did this guy get it before we did?" The trio started to feel a sliver of shame crawl up their spines.
Tai Lung stared at the scroll… then snarled at Po, before striking him with a nerve attack.
Po fell to the ground in a heap… and began to giggle. Tai Lung looked at his paw in confusion, before striking the panda again… and again… and again. Each blow resounded with a gelatinous 'boing'. There was no way his nerve attack could affect the panda with all the blubber in the way.
"You're kidding me right?" Franky had to do a double take upon seeing Po's apparent immunity.
"He can't be affected because there are no nerves near the surface of his skin?!" Zoro was equally taken aback.
"That anatomical chart was right?!" Chopper near screamed thinking back to the bogus acupuncture chart he had seen earlier.
"Stop. Stop it." Po laughed. "I'm gonna pee! Don't. Don't!"
Overflowing with frustration, Tai Lung delivered a double-fisted strike to the panda's body. Po rippled from the strike, his arms flying back, before shooting back into place… right into Tai Lung's face, the blow sending the Dark Master soaring through one of the nearby buildings. Po stared at his paws in amazement, unaware of his innate strength.
The youngest members of the Straw Hats immediately sprang up out of joy. "Whoa! I didn't know he was so strong!"
Sanji meanwhile looked at his own hands. "'It's just you.'" He repeated before the sensation of fulfilment began to wash over him. At first he was uncertain as to why, but then he relaxed and permitted himself a moment of enjoyment.
The snow leopard charged once again, before unleashing a flurry of blows towards his hated foe. Po somehow snaked his considerable frame around each strike, before stomping down on Tai Lung's foot, causing him to recoil in pain.
Tai Lung reeled in confusion, he had never fought a foe such as this panda before, and certainly not one with such an unorthodox fighting style, which was demonstrated when Po let his arms fly loose and snake into the snow leopard's face like gigantic yoyos.
Tai Lung then attempted a desperate kick that was swiftly countered, throwing him to the ground. From there, Po bounced off his body before yanked at his tail and drawing in the Dark Master for a vicious head-butt.
"Look at him go!" Usopp cheered.
"He's performing a unique combination of his own style with traditional martial disciplines. It's like he was born for it." Jimbei remarked, slightly impressed.
"More like he's a wild, lumbering beast." Zoro mumbled.
"He is a panda." Robin giggled.
Po giggled as he retained his hold on the snow leopard's tail, turning it into an improvised jump rope to keep the Master off balance and even using it to deflect a few strikes. Tai Lung started to lose his already short temper, immediately jumping in with his razor-sharp fangs for a bite… only for Po to block the attack with his own tail, causing him to mewl in pain.
"Ooooh." The entire crew winced at the cringe-inducing injury.
Whilst his opponent was stunned, Po dragged him into a butt bump so powerful it shot Tai Lung halfway across town, before he came to a crashing stop when he collided with a building.
"This is absolute insanity; he's fighting a trained master who has perfectly honed his body and skills for decades… with his butt."
"I know! It's awesome!" Luffy exclaimed, as he continued to belly-laugh.
Po gave a small wince out of sympathy, before Tai Lung emerged from the rubble, only now he was seething with rage. In an act of desperation, he charged towards the panda one more time, lunging with claws outstretched. This time, however, Po was ready and snow leopard was intercepted by an impenetrable BELLY GONG that sent Tai Lung soaring into the sky until he disappeared among the clouds.
"It is awesome, but he seriously needs to stop copying my moves!" Luffy briefly gave a curt huff, before returning to his trademark giggle.
"Move on!" Nami grunted angrily.
Po stared up into the sky and waited… and waited… and waited. Until finally Tai Lung came screaming back down to earth. Po took a cautionary step back, before the snow leopard cratered the earth where he had once stood.
Half a minute later, Tai Lung clambered out of a snow leopard shaped hole, battered and dazed, yet still defiant. He staggered towards him; a single finger outstretched.
"Dude, just move one you lost. This really doesn't need to go on any further." Usopp held his palms out, with an attempt to rationalise.
"This is a matter of pride now, Usopp. It stopped being about Shifu a while back. He won't stop until he IS stopped." Sanji responded, somewhat coldly.
"You.. cant defeat me." He wheezed between deep pants of breath. "You just… a big… fat… panda!"
He lunged towards Po one final time. Within an instant, Po had an ironlike grip on his outstretched index finger.
"No! He can't be!" Brook cupped his skull with his long, thin fingers.
"I'm not a big, fat panda… I'm THE big, fat panda." Po smirked dangerously, before extending his pinky finger. Tai Lung's eyes widened in terror.
"The Wuxi Finger Hold!" He gasped.
"HE IS!" Franky exclaimed, before striking his trademark pose. "THIS IS SUPER!"
"Oh, so you know this hold?" Po grinned, as he echoed the words of his Master.
"You're bluffing… you're bluffing!" Tai Lung rasped fearfully. "Shifu didn't teach you that!"
"You're right, I figured it out." Po flexed his pinky. "Skadoosh!"
"I have to see what this does. I mean, it can't be that powerful, can it?" Nami asked her friends, who all merely shrugged in response.
…
Miles away, the Five had just started to reach the edge of the Valley's bowl with the small army of exhausted villagers and were preparing for a harsh climb up the mountains in a bid to escape. Without warning, a thunderous silence spread throughout the land and a wave of golden light washed over the fleeing citizens. Feeling suddenly lighter, everyone turned to see the light emanating from the centre of the village just on the horizon.
"I'm sorry… WHAT?! All that from a pinky?" Chopper looked flabbergasted.
"Maybe martial arts are a superpower." Sanji conceded in awe.
Understatement of the century." Usopp responded, his awestruck eyes literally bursting from his head.
Much later, after returning to the previously empty village, the citizens began to tentatively step forward, unable to see more than five feet into front of them due to a golden haze that lingered in the air. That is, until one of the pig villagers began to make out a figure in the distance.
"Look! The Dragon Warrior!"
All present parties turned to see the obscured silhouette in the distance. It strode towards them with unmatched purpose. A long, billowing cape attached to it's shoulders. A bamboo hat perched atop it's head.
The youngest members of the crew were starry-eyed at the silhouette approaching from the mist, noticing how it near-perfectly echoed the Warrior in the dream they saw at the beginning of this story.
The others were confused. Had the move suddenly completed the panda's transformation into the Dragon Warrior?
The villagers gasped in awe, and when the figure finally stepped out from the mist they found it was only Po who began to cough at the smoke in the air. The cape was only a noodle apron, and the hat only a wok.
"Of course." They internally chorused together. There was no serious moment that could withstand Po's bumbling goofiness. Despite this, they all let out a smile of good will.
The villagers stared for a moment… before erupting into a cacophony of cheers. Mr Ping burst through the bustling crowd, to the sight of the villagers trying, and failing, to lift Po above their heads in praise. Ping beamed with pride, before removing the apron from his son.
"That's my boy! That big, lovely Kung Fu warrior is my son!" The goose exclaimed, before he waddled up to Po and engulfed (to the best of his ability) his son in a hug.
"Thanks Dad."
"Aww familial reconciliation. My one true weakness." Franky wiped a small tear cascading down his cheek away.
"Indeed. Reunion is a jewel that must be treasured." Brook mused before devolving into a slobbering wail. When Franky copied the gesture, the two shared an impromptu hug.
The action received a multitude of confused stares from the rest of the crew. A few seconds passed, before they simply shrugged.
As Po bowed his head down for the hug, the wok rolled off and away until it was halted by Mantis. Both the rest of the Five and him stood before Po, their faces now notably vacant of disgust or judgement.
"Nice of these guys to join in again after all of the fighting's over." Zoro grunted dismissively.
"Lay off!" Nami threatened as she cuffed him over the head. "They were evacuating citizens! Sometimes there are more important things than a fight."
"Nah." Both the swordsman and Luffy responded dismissively.
"Why you LITTLE…" Nami made a strangling motion towards the two of them before returning to her seat.
Po took notice, before standing in front of all of them. "Hey guys."
Tigress stepped forward, before saluting. "Master." It was only one word, but it spoke volumes.
The rest of the Five then followed suit. "Master." They bowed then, in turn, the villagers copied motion, and the phrase in a tidal wide of praise.
"About time." Usopp grinned in place of the panda.
"Indeed. A little positive reinforcement can work wonders on performance."
"Despite all this, I can't help but feel as though we've missed something." Robin pondered.
"Master…" Po muttered in modest satisfaction, before it bloomed into realization. "Master Shifu!"
Po turned on his heel and started hauling his significant keister back to the top of the Jade Palace.
"Ah the old geezer!" Luffy began to emphatically panic "He's gonna be okay, right?!"
"Only one way to find out." Sanji huffed slightly.
…..
Po started to pant breathlessly as he ascended to the top of the steps. He made his way to the foot of the Moon Pool, where he found Shifu lying motionless. Po rushed to his side and slid into a crouch.
"Master Shifu! Shifu! Are you okay?!"
"Come on. Come on!" Please be okay." Chopper began to beg.
"You old coot!" Sanji seethed. "You don't get to say all that and then just die! Live and fix your mistakes!"
Shifu's eyes slowly opened as he registered his pupils presence.
"Po… you're alive." He mumbled in relief. "…Or we're both dead."
"Honestly, that is indeed a very real possibility." Robin said plainly.
"THIS IS A HEARTFELT MOMENT BETWEEN STUDENT AND TEACHER! THERE'S NO NEED FOR THAT KIND OF DOUR ATTITIUDE!" Usopp admonished, half-angry, half terror-stricken."
Po shook his head. "No, Master, I didn't die. I defeated Tai Lung!"
Shifu's eyes widened slightly in astonishment. "You did?"
"Honestly, I'm as shocked as you are… and pleasantly surprised as well." Nami aid.
"Are you pleasantly surprised with me too, Nami dear?" Sanji questioned; his eyes replaced with large pink hearts.
"I'm surprised you're still talking to me." The navigator responded dismissively.
"Be still my beating heart."
Po smiled and nodded. Shifu looked as if a massive weight had been removed from his entire being. "Wow… It is as Oogway foretold. You are the Dragon Warrior. You have brought peace… to the Valley… and to me. Thank you… thank you… thank you…"
Shifu's eyes slowly closed, before he went still. Po stared for a long moment, before he started to panic.
"No… Master! No, no, no! Don't die, Shifu, please…"
The crew stared still, in complete disbelief. Many of them had grown to see the caring old man hidden under the gruff exterior of a jaded Master. The moment had begun to temporarily overwhelm the majority of the more vulnerable members…
Shifu's eyes angrily snapped open. "I'm not dying you idi… ah… Dragon Warrior." Shifu calmed himself, before closing his eyes once more and smiling serenely. "I'm simply… at peace. Finally."
…Before the moment eventually subsided, and anger overtook them once again.
"Dammit old man! Go ahead and rot! See if I care!" The entire crew, minus Robin seethed.
Po breathed in relief, before shifting around awkwardly. "Oh… so… should I stop talking?"
"If you can."
Po then positioned himself down on the floor, parallel to Shifu and similarly closed his eyes. The panda started to fidget before turning to his Master, a question clearly brewing in the back of his throat. He hesitated and stopped himself, before resuming his fidgeting. Then…
"What exactly is this achieving?" Brook asked, utterly perplexed.
"Peacefulness, I suppose?" Jimbei attempted to rationalise.
"You wanna get something to eat?"
Nami, Usopp and Chopper immediately facepalmed. Meanwhile, Luffy's eyes brightened at the prospect of food. "This guy's really speaking my language." He grinned before his stomach began to rumble.
Shifu sighed in exasperation. For a long moment he said nothing. Before…
"Yeah."
The End
The crew sat still for a beat… before letting out a collective cheer at the ending of the film.
"Consider me… pleasantly surprised." Nami relented.
"It was certainly more introspective than I had imagined." Robin agreed.
"Yes. It certainly has a lot to teach about the value of the self and the image that comes with that." Jimbei said, sagely.
"I thought it was going to be a dumb kids film, but it had plenty of heart and spirit." Zoro chipped in cooly.
"Woah. That was awesome! Hope the other two are just as good." Luffy cheered before he rushed off to find more food.
"I think we've all learned a very valuable lesson from this film, though; never underestimate the true power of fat." Brook summarised, somewhat succinctly.
"That wasn't the takeaway at all! Now hurry up we're gonna lose him!" The rest of the crew yelled, before they gave chase to follow their captain.
…
First movie reaction done! Didn't think I actually had it in me, but here it is, black and white, clear as crystal (good day sir!). This had been a fun little experiment to see if I have the writing chops to make it on this site and judging from the fact that currently over 100 (!) people both liked and favourited this story, I'd say that I'm doing alright.
If any of you have other characters you want me to add to this reaction fic, let me know and I MAY consider adding them to this reaction fic.
Now for the responses:
Gamelover41592: Thank you for the comment. Please stick around for more.
Heart of Shepard: Here it is! Hope you like it!
Joanne Frances Tiano Cajilig: Thanks so much! I love these characters, so I try to make them as faithful as possible.
Sorceric7: Sorry dude. But it's not like I have a monopoly on Kung Fu Panda stories. I'd love to read it, so go for it!
LucasVAMP: I try. Hope you enjoy this one.
a54321: Hope you'll stay with me!
SapphireKiddTaeyeon: Thanks!
Guest: Thanks!
Carre: That's entirely dependent on who you would like. I will let you all know by the end of the intermission.
Darkdart Aidar: I'm not sure yet, I'm just focused on the trilogy for now. I'm not even sure if it counts as canon with the other contradictory pieces of media out there.
GuestGuestFruit: I addressed it in the second chapter, and I address it multiple times here. Hope you enjoy.
blueboiSS: You needn't worry, I'm not going to stop. Just be patient with me.
Rest assured, I'm dedicated to finishing this story in it's entirety, but the next chapter is going to serve as an intermission between the films so I can prep. After this fic is done, however, I am intending to branch out from reaction stories and working on other fandoms I'm fond of, so I hope you'll enjoy.
On a completely separate note, did you guys see Spider-Verse? I feel like I've ascended to a completely separate plane of reality. It's definitely surpassed Shawshank as my favourite film or all time. Just need Beyond to stick the landing.
Be seeing you soon.
Ciao.