The Straw Hats React to Kung Fu Panda Intermission 1
I do not own any of the properties discussed in this piece of non-profit fan-based material. Any trademarked materials are strictly the sole property of their respective owners. With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy this reaction.
The bulk of the crew burst forth from the velvet double doors before twisting their heads from side, frantically looking for any signs that their captain. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found, having left a small scorch mark in the carpet, and dust outline of where he once stood.
"Ugh! He always has to make everything so complicated!" Nami seethed in pure frustration.
"He could be anywhere by now! This island is huge!" Usopp complained.
"Think rationally. Where would Luffy go to check first?" Chopper thought rationally. "He'd probably go to the -"
"He went to the Shopping District." A voice called out from behind the front counter. It was Lumiere, now dressed back in his overalls and beret, giving Anton a gentle stroke with his index finger. The mouse laid flat on his stomach giving a small series of content squeaks.
"Aw, come on! I was on a roll!" The doctor complained.
"Asked for where he could, and I quote, 'Get the largest slice of meat he could', then tore through here like a man possessed. I just finished cleaning too." The attendant noted with a slight pout.
Zoro huffed in annoyance. "Can't take my eye off him for two seconds. Alright, let's divvy up, I'll lead Squad A towards the Eastern section…" He pointed to Robin, Brook and Jimbei. "The rest of you are Squad B. You take the rest." He motioned to start walking off, before promptly getting dogpiled.
"Why the hell are you leading anyone anywhere?!" Sanji hollered in rage.
"WE DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO FIND YOU TOO!" The cowardly trio yelped in frustration. "YOU STAY WHERE WE CAN SEE YOU!"
"Geez, fine." The swordsman huffed in irritation after getting to his feet.
"Alright, all of you!" Nami immediately called to get their attention. It was evident from the tone that she was in the mood for absolutely no nonsense. "The task is simple, find Luffy before he causes any real damage. Ask around, search high and low. I'm going to ask if they have a map here." She stated, curiously eyeing the register situated at the top of the counter, her eyes quickly converting to large Berri signs.
As the others walked off to begin their search, Usopp visibly cringed. "Poor guy." He said referring to Lumiere. "He's going to get scammed like no tomorrow."
"Survival of the fittest man. You wanna trade places with him?" Franky raised his eyebrow.
"What part of that gave you the impression I wanted to?" the cowardly sniper shivered at the mere thought, before following to avoid the inevitable carnage that was sure to ensue.
Nami, meanwhile, put on her best attempt at an innocent, doe-eyed face and walked up to the counter. Lumiere, reluctantly, tried to look at least halfway presentable.
"Hey, Mr. Lummy..." Nami began.
"Don't call me that…" The attendant grumbled through a deadpan expression.
"I need a map of the area so I can find my wrecking ball of a captain. Do you have one I can use?"
Lumiere rubbed his eye, before nodding. "I should have one in the back drawer, just give me a sec. Anton keep her company." Upon the instruction of his friend, the small mouse gave a small salute and turned to face Nami, before giving her an 'I'm watching you' gesture.
Whilst Lumiere turned to find the map, Nami smirked before trapping Anton under a small, unused glass, much to his annoyance, as he began to tap feverishly against the sides. As soon as she found the button the register, she let out a fake cough to disguise it's opening jingle.
The thief held her breath, as Lumiere noticeably stopped his rummaging, before promptly resuming his search. Nami breathed a silent sigh of relief before turning her attention to the register. With a minute chuckle, she began to coax the helpless Berri out of the register, before…
THUD!
Within a frightening instant, Nami was pinned to the counter by a metal skewer through the loop her Log Pose, taking her off guard. When she looked up in shock, she saw Lumiere, cheekily taking a bite out of a separate chicken kebab, before he made a small "Tut tut", a gently removed the Berris from the navigator's grasp and laid them back in the register.
"Oh, we've got a sneaky one haven't we Anton?" The young man asked his mouse friend, as he tipped the glass back over, allowing the incensed mouse to get off a few ineffectual hits on Nami's pinned arm. "Of course, I'd expect nothing less from the infamous Cat Burglar of the Straw Hats."
"O-Oh well, no harm no foul right?" The navigator attempted to play off her purloining pursuits, whilst Lumiere finished the remainder of his kebab.
"Sure, sure. It's not like you're attempting to undermine all the hard work I've done for my employer over the years. Said employer, who also took me in when no one else would, and who I would go to the end of the world for." Lumiere oozed each word with a sickly sweet inflection, until again…
THUD.
He jammed the used skewer in his hand to the other side of her arm, sandwiching it between the two rods of metal. "So, you can imagine how frustrating an opportunistic little sneak thief like you would be. Especially after your whole little VIP upgrade." A dangerous aura began to form around the attendant, one that had Nami sweating bullets.
"But you're right." However, as soon as the miasmic atmosphere had appeared, it quickly dispersed, being replaced by a genuine, beaming smile. "You didn't actually take anything so you're off the hook." He removed the skewers from the counter, freeing the startled navigator.
"Uhhh." Nami was understandably taken aback by the surprising 180.
The attendant placed the map on the counter and beamed at the young woman. "Here's your map. Just remember to be mindful of others…" His scowl returned. "…And don't let it happen again. You wouldn't look very picturesque afterwards… Toodles!"
Lumiere gave a miniature wave, as Nami scooped up the map and hurried out the door to find her crew. He then turned to Anton. "I handled that well, right?"
The mouse only responded with a vague 'so-so' gesture.
…
A few minutes west away from Needlepoint Theatre and Plaza was the Shopping District, noticeably less ostentatious than its sister's namesake, it served as an extra incentive for patrons to spend their hard earned (or stolen) money, to allow further streams of revenue that would enhance the island's appeal as a thriving tourist spot. Needless to say, they had taken firm advantage of the triple showcase, littering almost every possible shop with another piece of panda-related merch or foodstuffs. As far as the eye could see there was nothing except stalls upon stall of memorabilia that many were all too eager to indulge in.
"YES! Yes, yes, YES!"
None of these were, of course, more eager to indulge in the conviviality than Luffy who had been darting from stall-to-stall like a pollinating bee, intent on spending every fraction of his meagre spending allowance with reckless abandon. When 'Squad B' finally managed to catch up, they attempted to dogpile him to halt any further poor spending choices.
"Chopper! I got the legs! You grab the arms!" Usopp heaved, as he attempted to plant himself on the ground against the herculean force of Luffy's maddened sprint.
"O-okay!" The doctor in question morphed into his Heavy Point, using the forms considerable bulk the restrain his captain's arms. Yet, by some physics-defying feat, Luffy's torso began to stretch away further his hindered limbs, his excitement driving him ever further onwards.
"Alright, this is just stupid!" Sanji ran off after the torso before leaping into the air. "Concasser!"The cook then brought the heel of his foot down harshly onto Luffy's malleable head, cratering it into the ground.
"You done? You're cutting into my valuable Nami-time here." Sanji tapped his foot impatiently, as Luffy slowly recovered.
"Aw, but I was just about to get myself some panda ears to go with the panda shorts I bought." The captain unfurled a brown pairs of shorts that could in no way fit his scrawny frame.
"WHY WOULD YOU EVEN NEED THOSE?" Franky and Sanji continued to seethe/
"Because it was just too cool!" Luffy beamed excitedly. "He was like: Hi-yah. Ya-Ta! Skadoosh! So of course, I'd want his pants."
"What kind of twisted, backwards logic is that?!" Franky asked incredulously.
"Learn to be more thoughtful with your spending would you? You're not going to get anymore, right guys?" Sanji aimed the question towards the remaining youngest members.
"Right!" Both Usopp and Chopper mumbled through mouthfuls of branded dumplings, before being covered in an assortment of bruises a half-second later.
"Ah! I found some!" Luffy exclaimed in joy, as his eyes fell upon a set of ears perched upon a stall in a distance. He threw out his arms to grab them, yet when he tugged he ended up pulling back more than he bargained for.
"Ow! Hey!" Moaned the familiar circle of white fur, clad in an orange jumpsuit.
"Wait, Bepo?!" Sanji shouted incredulously. "But that means…"
"Traffy!" Luffy hollered, before snaking a young man, perhaps in his late twenties, into a serpent hold hug. He was a unique combination of lanky, yet muscular, draped in a dull brown hooded coat, with dozens of tattoos littering his body. His eyes were sunken, as if he lived his life perpetually deprived of sleep, and on the top of his head rested a fluffy, leopard-print cap. In summary, he looked as equally displeased to see Luffy, as Luffy was pleased to see him. Even to the other residents of Showcase Island, it was clear who he was: Trafalgar Law, former Warlord of the Sea, and one of the most notorious members of the Eleven Supernova.
"It seems like I can't go a stone's throw these days without running into you guys. Other people might find this behaviour creepy." He groaned, as he fought Luffy's iron bear hug.
"Hey! It's not like that we swear!" Chopper screamed in a panicked voice, attempting to clear up any misunderstanding.
"Aw man, I was really hoping for those panda ears." Luffy pouted emphatically with a stomp of his foot.
"I'm sorry." Bepo mewled, as he lowered his head to the ground in an inexplicable act of shame.
"Bepo, you don't need to apologise for that." Law sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I'm sorry." He repeated feebly.
Law turned to Frank and Sanji, the final vestiges of sanity and maturity amongst Group B. "Let me guess, it was his idea to come here?" He said, gesturing towards Luffy, who continued to giddily showcase he loot haul to Usopp and Chopper, who beamed in excitement.
"Yeah, can't imagine why you'd want to come here though." Franky mused. "This place doesn't exactly seem your… speed."
"I was… investigating. You get the tour regarding Showcase's 'Attack-free' notice?" Law asked.
"Yeah…" Usopp responded hesitantly.
"Well, I did some digging. Apparently they haven't experienced any kind of large-scale pirate attack in over a decade. That's well into Roger's era. Even now when they ship out Log Poses to draw in big names for publicity? It's like placing your hand in a lion's mouth and daring it to bite. Yet, there's still nothing." Law mused as he rested his sword, Kikoku, on his shoulder.
"Mhm. Bepo, why are you really here?" Sanji asked the polar bear Mink.
"I introduced the captain to the first in the series, and he got hooked. We got here just in time for the sequels." The navigator of the Hear Pirates informed without missing a beat.
"HEY!" Law snapped, his face flushing red with embarrassment.
"That make more sense." The entirety of Group B chorused.
"I can multitask!" The Surgeon of Death fumed.
"Regardless, we got what we came for." Usopp stated. "We should meet up with the others and get ready for the second showing. All this talk of conspiracy has me on edge, and I want a good seat" He produced a miniature transponder snail from his satchel and dialled in the frequency for Group A's emergency snail.
"Purapurapurapura. Ker-chak." The drone of the snail's call proceeded, until finally..
…
"Got it Usopp. We'll need to find Nami though. Don't know here she's run off to." Zoro grumbled. "We have to send out a search party for the search party. This is an absolute mess. Talk to you soon." He then hung up the receiver and turned to the rest of Group A. "They've secured the moron and we'll rendezvous at the plaza. They've also picked up a stray or two."
"Law?" Robin questioned without missing a beat.
"Law." Zoro confirmed.
"We do have a bad habit of running into him in inopportune situations don't we?" Brook mused, whilst playing a delicate tune on his violin. "Some may even consider him a walking omen of death, but I really wouldn't know anything about that." He winked.
Meanwhile, Jimbei took a moment to soak up they rays of the sun, before looking down the slope of the alley. From where they all stood the pathway provided a, partially, clear shot towards the docks where they saw the Sunny, thankfully still anchored at the pier. Only now it wasn't alone.
"Huh?" Jimbei made a small motion with his hand, and, within seconds, water had accumulated around it, drawn from the air. He focused the small sphere into two equally sized focal lenses in front of his eyes before peering into the makeshift binoculars. "We've got two ships approaching the docks. One is a Marine vessel."
"I suppose it was too much to ask for a simple day off." Robin noted in her standard monotone. "And the other?"
"Pirate. I don't know the sigil."
"Great." Zoro huffed. "They better not try stealing my weights."
"I don't think they could if they wanted." Brook commented, referring to how most of them managed to hit the tons in terms of weight.
"They're not going after our ship at all. They've docked and are running… inland?" The helmsman noted.
"This could get troublesome." Robin said. "I suggest we head to the plaza and find the others."
At that moment, the gradually increasing sound of harsh panting started to enclose on them from the rear. They turned to see that it was Nami. Out of breath, and a line of sweat covering her brow.
"Guys! This place… is really scary… The attendant just…!" The navigator attempted to squeeze out the words between gasps of breath.
"Nami, this is no time to hear about your complaints with the customer service. We got Marines!" Zoro snapped at his friend. "C'mon!"
With that, Group A began to hightail it back to the direction from which they had just come; leaving Nami standing on her own, completely befuddled and incensed.
"Aww, you can't be serious!" She shouted, before willing her legs to move once more.
….
Minutes later, at the plaza, there was nothing to be found except commotion and carnage. The pirates that had docked at the port had since conducted a mad dash inwards, smashing and looting whatever they could get their hands on and whatever looked valuable. They were headed by an odd-looking man adorned in coat hanging from his shoulders like a cape, a thin sheet of yoroi constructed from bamboo and a bicorn hat that featured a singular plant sprout growing from its apex. From his thing face grew a perfectly horizontal moustache that complemented his devious little eyes, that seemed to hop from one opportunistic plunder to the next.
"How goes the good work everyone? Once we've got what we needed, we'll hold everyone in this town at ransom until that pesky Marine gets off our back. He's gonna regret the day he ever made an enemy of the Bamboo Pirates!" He unsheathed his sword (which was actually a sharpened rod of bamboo), lifted it into the air and roared in triumph.
"Aye-aye, Captain Shoot!" The first mate, Fishpole, a beefy, young bald man cheered.
"I'm on it, Captain!" The doctor, Yushania, saluted as she hauled more of the ill-gotten booty into one of the burlap sacks she had on her person.
Dozens of other men, women and members of various species, all clad in varying degrees of bamboo related paraphernalia, continued their destructive onslaught, partly reducing the once idyllic, ivory town into a mess of wreckage debris. Watching over the horrific scene, from the entrance of the Needlepoint stood the Straw Hats, along with Law and Bepo; confused at how such an idyllic town could have been reduced to such panic within minutes.
"So much for not a single pirate attack in over a decade, huh?" Sanji noted off to no one in particular.
"It all happened so fast!" Chopper yelped fearfully.
Luffy said nothing, only cracking his knuckles with his open palm. "These jerks! These people gave us all this food for nothing! We even got to watch an awesome film for nothing! I'm gonna…!"
"…Do nothing." A new familiar voice called out from the side. It was Lumiere; was performing a set of stretches, almost as if he were warming up for a set of physical activities.
"Why not, man?! They're going to total everything! Why is no one fighting back? We could floor these guys in no time flat." Franky desperately questioned.
"Well, answer one: All buildings in the town are equipped with emergency panic rooms. These guys would take ages trying to find where they've all hidden." The attendant then cracked his neck. "Answer two: That VIP treatment you guys are subject to comes with a strict 'no violence' stipulation. If any of you were engage in any acts of vandalism or fighting that would put the residents of this island in harm's way, then you'd have to leave the premises immediately."
"What?!" Luffy shrieked.
"That's so dumb!" Usopp hollered in agreement.
"Who's supposed to put a stop to this then? The Marines? You may have just lucked out then with your timing." Law spoke morosely.
"Nah." Lumiere dismissed. "They fall under the same purviews as well."
"Then what is to be done about this?" Robin gestured to the riot happening roughly 20 feet away. "It would be ill-advised to let this continue any longer."
"Yeah! You people are insane! You really expect a pirate raid to just blow over like nothing happened?" Nami interrogated, completely befuddled at the ignorance on display.
Lumiere only rolled his eyes, as he stopped his stretches. "Of course not. I'm going to stop this." He said the seemingly impossible as if were completely within his power. "Anton, get the Tripod." The mouse chirped in affirmation, before leaping from the box hanging around the attendant's neck and dashing inside the Needlepoint through a specially made entrance hole.
"Wait, What?!" Virtually everyone present yelled simultaneously.
"I technically count as a member of Needlepoint staff, so I'm exempt from the rules." Lumiere responded with an unwarranted degree of confidence. "I'll wrap this up before that Marine you guys were talking about has time to butt in."
"You're not going to budge on this, are you?" Brook asked, anxiously.
"You want VIP treatment? Then just stand still and relax. Think of it like dinner and a show… just without the food and with a great deal of bodily trauma."
Lumiere then began to walk up towards the rabble of pirates, before taking of his beret and clipping it to a loop on his belt. He then coughed emphatically, causing all eyes to fall on him.
"Attention, various assortments of Eucalyptus-themed, ne'er do wells." Every single member of the Bamboo Pirates immediately met him with furious, bloodshot eyes. "You've all had your fun, and you've made an awful mess of our nice, picturesque town. That simply won't do. So, I'm going to have to ask you to vacate."
"And what if we don't want to? What're you going to do about it?" Fishpole snarled.
"In that case, I'm going to MAKE you vacate." Lumiere folded his arms "Come on, be quick about it." Upon closer inspection, the attendant wasn't talking to the pirates at all; rather he was hissing furiously at Anton through a transponder snail earpiece. Upon even closer inspection, one could faintly make out a frustrated series of agitated chirping that would've probably been translated into a slew of derogatory words.
"What is he doing?" Chopper questioned.
"Dunno. I heard him mention a 'Tripod' before." Usopp recalled.
Luffy gasped. "Maybe it's like a cool attack robot! He's gonna blast them all away!" The childish captain then imagined a giant, three-legged robot blowing away all the assailants. The mere thought caused the three of them to go in a state of pure excitement.
"Errand boy!" Captain Shoot yelled at Lumiere. "You really think you're all that?"
"I know for a fact you're not." His reply was simple, but scathing.
"Grr! I think I've had enough of that tongue of yours, boy! I'll slice it off with my Bamboo Broadsword!" He unsheathed a large sword with a metal cross guard yet blade itself was made from a complex knit of razor sharp bamboo length. Lumiere only snorted in response to seeing the weapon, despite the newfound sweatiness of his palms.
"Slice it off with that glorified bokken of yours? We'd be here for a while in that case, and I don't think I can wait any longer!" The attendant hissed into his earpiece, clearly needing some indication that Anton was in place. He was met with only silence.
"Fine then! After him men!" The entirety of the angry pirate mob charged at Lumiere, who huffed in a mixture of fear and annoyance.
"Alright, hard way it is then!" The attendant allowed the first of the rabble to attack, before sidestepping and kneeing him in the gut, spinning on his heel and planted his boot directly in his face, flooring him. The second assailant took the opportunity to land a solid hit on Lumiere's cheek, causing him to recoil, before he countered with a devastating elbow right to her face, before grabbing her arm and throwing her right over his shoulder into a pile of debris. Half a dozen more came after, each peppering Lumiere with an assortment of blows and bamboo based weapons that bruised and bloodied the young man; yet he remained steadfast and retaliated with equal and greater force, knocking them all on their backs.
"He's not half bad." Brook noted.
"Maybe, but there are far too many flaws in his technique. He's clearly not used to fighting barehanded." Jimbei observed.
"Fire!" Yushania yelled, before dozens of flintlocks aimed at Lumiere, who screamed in exaggerated horror as he weaved around the bullets, which impacted with odd popping sounds. He immediately knew why.
"Really?! Bamboo bullets?! Aren't you taking the theming a little too far?" He picked up a broken sigh, before using it as a shield the advance further through the fire.
"Bamboo Bludgeons; knock him down!" Shoot ordered, as the moving sign ground to a halt. The firing stopped and the bludgeons rushed in, breaking the sign apart… revealing nothing hiding behind it.
"Wait… what?!" One of the heavy units whipped his head frantically from side to side. "Where's he gone?"
"I don't know! I can't see him!" The second one responded.
"Yeah. Me neither." Lumiere responded from directly behind them, using his hand to shield his eyes from the sun. Before either of them could react, he bonked their heads together, causing them to fall to the ground instantly. He dusted off his hands before sighing. "What a day."
"Bamboo Bolas!" Seconds later, Lumiere was completely wrapped from head to toe in lengths of bamboo chains weighed down by two sphere's. He struggled to stand upright and began to hop on the spot.
"Seriously? I think you've kind of worn out your theme here." He noted in irritation.
"Shut up! The theme is awesome!" The captain, first mate and doctor of the crew yelled as him in irritation, their teeth mysteriously sharpening to points in rage as them did so. However, Lumiere's focus wasn't on them, rather it was on the door of the Needlepoint, as he saw Anton frantically scratching against the glass door.
"Hey, you guys! Could you – ARE YOU PLAYING CARDS?!" The attendant snapped, as he saw the entirety of the Straw Hats, plus Law and Bepo, playing a casual game on the floor.
"What were you expecting? We're bored?" Franky defended.
"Then open the door and I'll clean this up in no time!" Lumiere yelled.
"Big talk! Fishpole! Yushania! Deal with this pest!" Shoot ordered with a wave of his sword.
"Aye captain!" With that the two pirates charged at the bound Lumiere with bamboo maces lathered with weighted chunks of metal.
"Phyllostachys Lariat!" The poor attendant struggled against the bonds, before a horrific double strike launched him off his feet and into the air, as he coughed a mixture of blood and saliva.
Simultaneously, a worried Usopp, Luffy and Chopped hurriedly opened the front door before striking dramatic poses. "Now go Tripod! Destroy your enemies with righteous fury!"
Unfortunately, all three of their jaws dropped out of shock when Anton wheeled out a regular camera tripod flat on its side.
"That's what he got so worked up over?" Law noted as he looked up to see Lumiere hit the apex of his ascension.
Anton mimicked a "blah, blah" gesture with his tiny paw before quickly getting into a seat hanging of the side of the Tripod and pulling a small lever to level it towards Lumiere as he began his descent. He then pushed two of three buttons and, with a pneumatic hiss, two legs of the tripod fire off towards Lumiere at breakneck speed.
The attendant finally regained his bearings, before snapping the bonds from the bolas and twisting mid-air to catch the legs. He dropped to the ground, before giving the improvised batons an experimental twirl.
"Now we're cooking." He huffed before assuming an escrima stance.
"You went through all that for a pair of sticks?!" Nami screamed in confusion.
"Duh-Doy! I'm a stick fighter! These are much better!"
"You must be a few frames short of a reel if you think some sticks are gonna even the score between us!" Yushania sneered arrogantly.
"What are you talking about? You've got dozens on your side, yet you couldn't take out lil' old me? I'm not letting you ransack this town anymore! Reel Ricochet!" Lumiere then threw one of sticks towards a wall of one of the nearby buildings. It struck the wall, butt first, before flying off without loosing any momentum, striking Yushania directly in her temple, knocking her to the floor. The stick bounced off her head before falling directly back into Lumiere's outstretched hand, much to the amazement of the onlookers.
"Wait… WHAT?" Bepo cried out.
"That was so cool! I don't even care about the robot anymore!" Luffy exclaimed.
"What?" Lumiere asked completely confused by the exclamation, before he was swept of his feet by Fishpole armed with a bamboo staff. He rolled backward out of the way of harm, before flipping to his feet and dodging another strike from the bamboo staff.
"That's pretty nifty!" Lumiere noted with a smile. "I've got one of those too!" He then connected the two legs together to form his own bo staff, a swung it around wildly, aiming for Fishpole's head.
"Zoetrope Rotor!" The attendant ducked under another strike and slammed the end of the makeshift staff into Fishpole's gut, causing him to double over. A yell from behind causing him to turn to see a dazed Yushania whipping around Bamboo flail aimed right at him. Reacting purely on instinct, he backflipped over the attack, which, again, slammed right into Fishpole's gut, causing his eyes to bulge out his head, before falling to the ground.
"Fish! I'm sorry! He's just a slimy little-"
"Hey! There's no need to get personal!" Lumiere called back, pirouetting directly onto the doctor's shoulders. Yushania growled at the action, before swinging her mace in an upwards arc. Unfortunately, as soon as she did this, Lumiere jumped off her shoulders causing her face to meet with the end of her weapon viciously. She too fell to the ground, unconscious.
"Hey! Stop attacking that gorgeous babe!" Sanji snarled viciously.
"What are talking about? She probably did more damage to herself that I did!" Lumiere snapped back.
Meanwhile, Shoot was absolutely furious. His trusted crewmembers had all been wiped out… by a film attendant with a pair of sticks. Fuming, he turned to Lumiere, twirling his moustache with such force that the ends began to burst into flame.
"Never in my piratical career have I suffered such indignity. Hope you're not too attached to those sticks, because I'm gonna skewer your head on them when I'm done." The pirate captain sneered.
"Bark, bark, bark little dog." Lumiere panted, splitting the staff back into two pieces. "Now, let's wrap this up. That Marine captain's probably right around the corner."
Shoot roared and charged at the young man, Bamboo Broadsword drawn with focused fury. "Fargesia Lance!" He aimed a perfectly horizontal thrust of his sword towards Lumiere, who barely managed to slide under the oncoming blow. The attendant weaved around each individual slash, until finally trapping his sword arm with one stick and delivering a solid strike to the face with the other.
Shoot recoiled front the sudden strike, allowing Lumiere to go in for another strike. The pirate captain merely smirked, before delivering two rapid strikes that slashed at the attendant's fingers causing him to scream out and drop the sticks, which captain promptly kicked away. A second later and the bamboo blade was aimed at his throat.
"An enjoyable effort lad, however, I must now acquire recompense for my crew. The total booty of this stinking island and your head will suffice."
"Pffft…"
Shoot was about to strike, before he hear the laugh. "What about your own demise could you possibly find so funny?"
"The fact that it's called a TRIpod for a reason." Lumiere said with a smirk. He then let out a shrill whistle, and Anton, back at the Tripod pushed the final button to launch the final leg. Shoot, temporarily distracted by the whistling emanating from the pneumatic launch, allowed the grip on his sword to slip; a fact which Lumiere took immediate advantage of, disarming him with a high kick, before spinning around to catch the final leg.
"Kineograph Rush!" With herculean effort, Lumiere drove the final leg into the pirate captains face, which contorted around the blow, before he was launched off his feet and across the street. Satisfied that the threat was now eliminated, the attendant turned to his guests, now wobbling on his feet like a new-born faun. "Like dinner and a show. But no dinner… and the show involved me getting beat within an inch of my life." He took a step forward, before promptly collapsing onto his face.
The others simply stared wide eyed at the display and it's aftermath. Not a single member of the riot was left standing. Anton quietly waddled up to Lumiere's prone body before giving it a tiny kick. He then turned to the group and held out a small thumb signifying that he was alright.
"Wow, I didn't know it was normal for cinema attendants to fight like." Jimbei noted, with a stroke of his beard.
"I think he's the exception that proves the rule Jimbei." Nami noted with a slight gulp, he mind flashing back to the earlier encounter.
"I'm still mad I didn't get to see any robots." Luffy huffed.
"Let it go man." Said Zoro.
At that instant, a huge white cloud descended upon the plaza causing all within the vicinity to suddenly cough and retch. Moments later and the smoke began to coalesce and morph into the shape of a large, grizzled man. He wore an open jacket complete with a standardised, white, 'justice' Marine coat draped off his shoulders. Two lit cigars rested in his mouth, illuminating the curved scar that trailed down the left side of his face. In his hand rested a large jitte, which he rested on his shoulder. If one were to describe him in a singular word, it would have to be 'impermeable'. This was Smoker, a Vice-Admiral of the Navy and among one of the most morally upright officers they had ever seen. That wouldn't compromise his gruff demeanour at all though, as pirates the world over saw him as in implacable force, that one would hope to never cross paths with.
"Alright you scum! Stand down and I'll take you in without… a… fight." He surveyed the surroundings to see the aftermath of the riot and battle. "How…?"
"Smokey!" Luffy cried joyously. Needless to say, the sentiment was not shared.
"Straw Hat! Is this your doing?" Smoker snarled, whilst tightening the grip on his jitte.
"Nah, that Lummy guy over there did it." The teenager pointed to the prone corpse sprawled out on the floor.
"What do you mean?" Smoker questioned. However, all inquisition was immediately dropped when Lumiere suddenly sprung to his feet; a dazed expression on his face and a miniature waterfall of blood slowly cascading down his face.
"Welcome to Needlepoint sir!" The attendant said with a slur and a wobble in his step. "THE premier in Vis-Snail cinema viewing. How can I help you to-" Lumiere fell flat on his back again.
"HE did this?" Smoker gestured to the semi-conscious young man.
"We're as surprised as you are." Law grumbled.
"Why are you even here?" Nami asked. "This place is pretty far from G-5."
Smoker sighed, a cloud of smoke emanating from his cigars as he did so. "The upper brass said I was overdue a few dozen vacation days. Yet as soon as I let my guard down, some no name pirates blast my ship hoping to get lucky. As soon as I fight back they turned tail and ran for the closest island. Buncha' cowards."
"That's cool, but I kinda don't care." Luffy chuckled without a care in the world.
"However,…" Smoker growled. "I once promised that I would catch you the next time I saw you Straw Hat. And what luck, you're also here Trafalgar." The Vice-Admiral body started to disincorporate into a powdery mist. Both Law and Luffy prepared themselves. Until it suddenly stopped, and Smoker's body returned to normal. "Fortunately for you, it's my day off."
The other members of the crew less inclined to combat permitted themselves a relived sigh.
Without warning, an announcer snail perched atop the entrance blared out an announcement. "Please be advised to all viewers. The next showing with commence in ten minutes. Thank you have and have a nice day!"
Luffy, Chopper, Usopp and Bepo's eyes immediately lit up with glee "The next one's starting?! Come on let's go!"
"Viewing?" Smoker asked.
"Yeah." Franky said. "We're here on a Kung Fu Panda triple feature. Some of us may or may not have cried at the first one."
"No one is buying your deflection routine, Franky." Sanji huffed.
"Hmm. Only ever seen the first one, maybe I do need a distraction. Don't let this fool you into thinking I won't catch you however."
Anton then furiously scurried up the Vice-Admiral's arm and lets out a series of squeaks, much to the confusion of everyone present.
"He said: 'Any business has to be conducted outside of the island's grounds. We can't afford to do anymore clean-up at the moment.'" Chopper informed them.
"Really?" Smoker asked.
"I had to paraphrase a lot. He has a very colourful vocabulary." The doctor noted with an awkward scratch of his neck. "He also said we should clear out so clean up can begin."
"There we go! Come on Smokey, I'll be fun!" Luffy grabbed the Vice-Admiral in an iron-like grip and pulled him towards the entrance.
"Luffy! We don't eat popcorn with the enemy!" Nami roared, chasing swiftly after them.
Law sighed simply. "How do I keep getting dragged into these things?" Before he too followed them.
"Tell me about it…" The remaining members of the group all mentally sighed before he entered the Needlepoint once more. Leaving Lumiere flat on his back in the middle of the plaza.
"No, please. Don't mind me. Your experience is worth more than any amount of medical attention I could receive." He struggled to his feet before making his way to the counter at the front of the Needlepoint.
Unbeknownst to him, or anyone else, a figure watched from the upper floors of the theatre. Silent and unmoving.
"How very intriguing." The figure spoke to no one in particular. "I haven't felt that much Haki in a while. Ah well, nothing to do about it for now but make this place look presentable. 'The show must go on' as they say." With that the figure snapped it's fingers, whilst the other hand touched the wooden windowsill, and multiple formless shapes rose from the ground, before moving out of the doorframe.
….
Minutes later, and everyone had gathered in the screening room, resuming their original positions. After the projector snail started up once more, Lumiere hobbled in front of the screen, covered head to toes in ridiculous amounts of bandages.
"Salutations everyone. Hope you're doing well today, because I'm not." He snarked.
"We get it you're hurt. Quit with the pity party and get on with it already." Zoro chastised.
Lumiere clicked his tongue in annoyance but proceeded. "We now continue with out scheduled programming. Hope you all enjoy the show as we continue Po's journey of improvement and self-discovery."
The lights then dimmed, before the projector snail spewed light onto the screen once more.
….
I am so sorry for being away for so long. I am busy with University, wherein my internet stopped working, causing this to kind of fall by the wayside. Hopefully though, I'll now be able to commit to this story as I did before. I know you're all as eager as I am to move on towards KFP 2. Which is why I'm posting the intermission along with the first act as an apology. I really hope this intermission didn't come of as self-flagellation, but it is important to set up the mini story that will occur during these intermission snippets.
As always, please let me know if there is anything I can improve on going forward, and I shall do my best to address these issues.
As always hope you're doing well. Reviews will be addressed in the next chapter.
Ciao.