Published April 25, 2020

"Lone Sheep"

Black Sheep had never thought much about her code name. It had always seemed fitting. She was different from everyone else on the island, simply by virtue of being the only child. Even when she enrolled, she was still the youngest, and the only student who had grown up at the school. It had never particularly bothered her.

It was only after her former classmates' first caper that she began to see how different she was, and how significant that difference was. That difference bothered her and made her feel isolated from everyone in a way she had never been before.

Black Sheep supposed it was silly for her to feel lonely. She was no more alone now than she had been growing up.

She supposed the most similar time in her life had been when she stopped having the constant supervision of nannies. Some of them had been students or interns, working for their room and board, or waiting to retake courses after failing to graduate. Some had been applicants waiting to reapply after being rejected.

Being allowed to play by herself had been a treat. But back then she had not known what she was missing. She now knew what it was like to work and spend time with people who considered her an equal. Not having contact with Player or camaraderie with Gray left her feeling empty. She had no link to the outside world and no confidant in her own small world.

She did not bother trying to make friends when she enrolled with the new class. She would not give anyone the opportunity to let her down the way Gray had; and after all her transgressions against the staff and students alike, she did not want to betray any more people than she needed to as she plotted her escape.

In some ways, being alone was actually a blessing. It gave her time to think. And she had a lot to think about.

Despite her bleak and frustrating circumstances, Black Sheep did not regret what she had done, from sneaking onto the helicopter to stopping Gray. She had not foiled the caper, but she had saved that nice Moroccan man's life. She cared more about that than the Eye of Vishnu, even though now she recognized the wrongness of stealing it.

She knew her former classmates must be angry with her, which meant it was probably a good thing that she no longer saw them. But she could not feel sorry for crashing their caper.

Everyone—faculty and operatives alike—saw Black Sheep as a traitor and a troublemaker. But to her, it seemed like she had been betrayed.

How had she gone so long, practically made it to graduation, without realizing that V.I.L.E. operatives would be expected to steal lives as well as material goods? Her combat training had always focused on defense, her weapons training on incapacitating. Her mindset had always been about self-preservation and evasion, not attacking. Had the graduates experienced something that changed them? Had Dr. Bellum brainwashed them somehow? Or had they been brainwashed all along without realizing it? If so, why did it not work on Black Sheep?

Thieves had a certain code of honor, but Black Sheep had never thought of herself as having a moral code. There had hardly been any rules for her to follow as a child. Her caretakers had simply made sure she did not hurt herself or anyone else. Her nannies had come from different countries with different worldviews and moral standards, and none of those nannies had stayed on long enough to make a particular impression on Black Sheep's conscience.

She had gotten in trouble sometimes, but her prankish actions had never been framed as wrongdoing, just troublemaking. Coach Brunt had either overlooked or fixed any damage she caused, effectively reinforcing her belief that rules did not matter, that they did not apply to her. Rules could be broken if they got in the way of what you wanted. That may have been the essence of the criminal mindset.

"I want this more than anything." Black Sheep had meant those words when she said them. What else could she really want? The only professional field she knew anything about was crime. There may have been room for specialization within that field—the faculty members, after all, included a scientist, a socialite, and an athlete—but different career paths were only presented to her in light of crime.

Thievery was the only career she knew about that brought prestige. If you were an accomplished thief, people respected you. They spoke of your exploits with awe and admiration.

Of course Black Sheep had wanted that. But now that she knew the price, she did not consider it worthwhile.

Strangely, it was Shadowsan who had tried to deter her. "There will be no going back."

Black Sheep was determined to prove him wrong about that too. She would find a way off the island and out of a life of crime.