A/N: This chapter is very music heavy. I've got a few playlists I spent far too long on posted on my twitter for those interested–and a pinterest board dedicated to the tour as well for those who (like me) love a good visual to go along with your reading. All links are posted on my twitter (fragilefanfic)
This is one of my favorite chapters of the series and I hope you enjoy it!
CHAPTER 29
It's you and me, that's my whole world
They whisper in the hallway, "She's a bad, bad girl"
~ Taylor Swift, Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince
EPOV
I had been by Bella's side through countless days like today. I had watched her get dressed for more Academy Award ceremonies than I could count. Had walked with her through the halls of the stadium before she performed at the Super Bowl. I had watched her navigate some of the most high stakes moments of her career without flinching. And still, somehow, this morning felt bigger than all of those. Bigger than anything she had done before.
She didn't let it show, though. She went about her morning as normally as possible until Kate, Heidi, and Claire showed up an hour earlier than planned.
I knew better than to think it was a coincidence. Lawrence knew that while he may have had the upper hand the last few months, he was about to lose it all. And, as usual, he was trying to use Bella's own success to his advantage.
I reached for the television remote, only to have my wife snatch it away first. "I want to watch it."
I bit my tongue and relented.
The room got quiet, far more quiet than a room as opinionated as this one had any right to be. Bella and I sat on the couch of the penthouse–the new one that was thankfully still unknown to the public. Heidi, Kate, and Claire hovered in the background.
No one dared to tell her she shouldn't watch it. That today wasn't the day to let him get to her. That she never needed to watch it at all.
My own stomach churned as we all watched the trailer for Lawrence's documentary in silence.
I had spent hours upon hours going through old footage of Bella for her own documentary, but this was different. This wasn't footage she and Kate shot to preserve a memory. It wasn't a simple behind-the-scenes look at a film she had made.
It was invasive paparazzi footage of a seventeen-year-old girl trying to walk to her car from the grocery store. It was scenes of a girl overworked and walking into rehab with a smile on her face for the man hiding in the bushes with a camera pointed at her. It was footage of a woman walking through a mob of reporters into a courtroom on her way to be burned at the stake. It was the vilification of a woman whose biggest crime was not letting others take credit for her hard work or success.
I barely resisted the urge to crush the remote in my hand as I turned it off after the screen went black with the plain white text reading Look What You Made Me Do: The True Story of Isabella Cullen flashed.
The room stayed silent.
I turned toward my wife, watched her sitting there stoically with one arm crossed over her abdomen and the other fidgeting with the jewelry around her neck.
Heidi cleared her throat. "He, well," she cleared her throat again.
I had known Heidi for a long time. Had been in hundreds of meetings with the woman and I had never seen her stutter over her own words.
"He just put out a statement," Claire finished. "This documentary has been decades in the making and my team and I are immensely proud of the final product. To commemorate the upcoming release we're pleased to say we have acquired three previously unreleased songs written by Cullen that we believe accompany our documentary nicely. The Notorious EP is available now."
Bella didn't so much as flinch beside me. It wasn't unexpected. We knew Lawrence had made an underhanded deal for the rights to some old music that had been written and recorded before Bella signed her first record deal, music she didn't even have the complete rights to before he went and bought it.
Knowing about it beforehand didn't make it any easier to hear.
She had taken blow after blow from the man she once thought was more of a father to her than anyone else in the world. She had made a few hits of her own, but it was always hard for her. Taking a shot at someone she was still coming to terms with wasn't who she once thought.
When she turned toward me I expected to see that hurt still flooding her eyes. I was more than pleased to see it finally, finally gone. Replaced by pure, boiling rage.
She gave me a small but purposeful nod.
"Not yet," I told her immediately.
I knew exactly what that nod gave me permission to do. And while I would love nothing more than to make sure Nathan Lawrence never had her name in his mouth again, it wasn't time. Not yet.
Her jaw clenched.
"Make him fucking pay for it, Bella. All of it."
She huffed out a breath.
I brushed a few stray strands of hair behind her ear, leaning in close enough for my lips to brush against her ear as I said, "You know you want to watch him fucking burn first."
She sighed as I pulled away. She had such a marvelous way of making people live to regret ever thinking they could win against her. It would be a goddamn shame for Lawrence to get off easy.
She turned toward her team and they got a nod similar to the one I was given, but I was going to assume theirs wasn't free reign to kill Lawrence.
"Are you sure–" Claire started.
"Yes."
"Shit," Kate sighed, reaching for her bag and laptop and following the other two to the dining room table.
Not even an hour later a news notification popped up on my phone as I was ordering the cars to be brought around to take us to the stadium.
Isabella Cullen releases new album, From The Vault. A collection of songs cut from past albums in response to Nathan Lawrence's release of three poached demos.
–Love|Power–
Bella eyed the line of cars surrounding the SUV I was attempting to get her into, but didn't say anything. The windows were tinted, but it was still easy to see the motorcade as it followed us out to the street.
Her eyes met mine. She didn't have to say anything for me to know what she was thinking.
"I don't take chances. Not with you."
She sighed, her head falling to my shoulder.
I pressed a kiss to her temple. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I just… you don't think people will boo, right?"
That one, singular moment was what started the whole thing. If that crowd six months ago hadn't boo'd her as she accepted her eleventh Grammy award, I don't know if any of this would have happened. The albums and the film and the tour. Sure, if Lawrence had started spewing shit she would have done something, but it all stemmed from that night.
A muffled noise from outside the car caught my attention. I turned toward the window and saw the mass of people outside the stadium. Some already waiting at the gates, some sticking their heads out of car windows at the sight of the motorcade. All grinning and dressed up and ready for a show that wasn't going to start for eight hours still.
"No, my love," I told her gently. "There will be no booing tonight."
I watched her eyes scan the crowd as we drove by. While I would have preferred if she had a profession that didn't put her in the center of a stadium surrounded by tens of thousands of people on a regular basis, the majority of those people were nothing but kind and loyal and good to her. There were smaller groups of them that might take things too far, discuss things too personal or unrelated to her career, but they were the outliers.
The people here, especially tonight, were the ones who cared about what mattered. The ones that didn't care about what was written on the cover of every tabloid or that I was her husband. They cared about Bella. The music she wrote and the career she built herself.
So while the sight of the crowd might always send off threatening warning bells in my mind, it was also a crowd I was exceedingly thankful for. It was a crowd that was nearly as ferociously protective of Bella as I was and that wasn't something I took lightly.
I hadn't been lying when I told Bella the security was as much for her as it was for every person in the stadium. I appreciated loyalty, and unequivocal loyalty like that to my wife deserved my own indisputable respect and protection.
–Love|Power–
It wasn't a meeting I needed to be part of, but I still stayed. Hovered by the door as Bella sat in a large conference room of the stadium, sharpie and a stack of paper in front of her as she finalized every detail of the show for the night.
The tour was ever changing with countless setlist, outfit, and visual changes that could be made from show to show. This was a meeting she'd have every day with band members and dance captains and people from wardrobe and stage managers and sound techs to make sure everybody was on the same page.
Peter mosied in just as she was getting started. "You sure do run a tight ship around here," he mumbled, taking a seat at the table.
Peter had happily accepted a position in the band for the tour, playing guitar. A role that was filled with a simple text on Bella's part.
One would think two musicians of their stature would have a mature, professional relationship. Bella, however, simply flipped him off and started writing out her setlist.
"Opening with Miss Americana and Cruel Summer," she started. "Pink bodysuit, silver boots. Then silver jacket as we move onto The Man. I want to do I Think He Knows tonight."
The first of four songs that had choreographed but interchangeable spots on the setlist. I Think He Knows could be swapped with You Need To Calm Down whenever she felt like it.
"Then Lover and The Archer. Interlude into the Badlands Era. Outfit change into black crop top and the bejeweled shorts. Gasoline, Hold Me Down, Hurricane, and Control. Interlude into the We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together Era. Red and black jumpsuit for The Very First Night and We Are Never Ever, adding the red jacket for All Too Well.
"Interlude into Folklore Act I Era with the cabin. We're going to do the purple dress tonight. Starting with Right Where You Left Me, Ivy, Cardigan, This Is Me Trying, and My Tears Ricochet. During the bridge of Tears the fan picked by the kids is going to be brought up to the end stage and given the tour bracelet."
An absolutely unnecessary but sweet gesture Bella came up with weeks ago after Aiden showed her a video of fans making friendship bracelets to exchange at the shows. Bella being Bella wanted in on the fun and had enough bracelets made to give to one lucky fan for all of her future shows. Granted, their bracelets were made from plastic beads and string and hers were solid gold and embossed with The Eras Tour.
"Interlude," she continued. "Then Hopeless Kingdom Era. Black and silver fringe dress for tonight. Heaven In Hiding, Walls Could Talk, and Angel On Fire. Then we're onto the reputation Era interlude. Snake jumpsuit. …Ready For It?, I Did Something Bad, we'll do Getaway Car tonight, then Don't Blame Me and Look What You Made Me Do."
Getaway Car was another interchangeable portion of the setlist, easily switched with Delicate when wanted.
"Then onto Love and Power. Red corset top, black leather shorts. Easier Than Lying, Girl Is A Gun, Whispers, Nightmare and Die 4 Me mashup, I am not a woman I'm a god. Interlude into Folklore Act II. We're going to go with the bronze dress today. Mad Woman, Willow, The Lakes, Champagne Problems, and Long Story Short. Then Reputation Revived. Starting with the pink gown for Enchanted, and Long Live, quick skirt removal for Haunted, then another quick change into the green two-piece for Style, Blank Space, Shake It Off, Wildest Dreams, and Bad Blood."
Two more interchangeables with Whispers easily switched for Lilith and Style with I Knew You Were Trouble.
"Then the matching wrap dress for the acoustic set. Tonight will be Cowboy Like Me for guitar and The Tradition on piano. And, of course, the folklore trailer premiere before Cowboy Like Me."
Yet another portion of the setlist that would receive a nightly change. A new song each night for guitar and piano.
Bella took a deep breath, feigning exhaustion as everyone lightly chuckled. "Then our final interlude into Midnights. I want to do the white sequin t-shirt dress. Then we've got Lavender Haze, Anti-Hero, Would've Could've Should've with the change into the navy bodysuit. Vigilante Shit, Bejeweled, Mastermind, and Karma with the multi-colored jacket."
"You are, quite literally, the most un-chill person I have ever met in my life," Peter chuckled. "Fifty-two songs. Four interchangeable options fully choreographed, more costume changes than I've had in my entire career…" he shook his head. "All planned in a matter of months. Fucking unreal."
I looked over at my wife, simply sitting at the head of the table with a small smile on her lips. The way she worked was truly unprecedented. How she was able to expedite what she needed, without overworking or underpaying anybody was half of the reason the industry had been at her throat since she was twenty.
I ran my fair share of businesses. Multi-million-dollar ventures that were stressful enough to cripple the average worker. But nothing I had ever done was equivalent or close to what she had managed to do the last six months.
She was truly fucking remarkable.
"Why do you keep staring at me like that?" she asked a few minutes later as we headed out to the soundbooth for her to check in with everybody there. Her first show routine was checking in with just about every single crew member.
"Because this whole thing… the show, the film, the documentary… everything you've been able to accomplish in a matter of months… it's fucking incredible, Bella."
I looked down at her, smiling to myself as I saw her cheeks flush as she hooked her arm through mine and rested her head against my side. "Thanks."
I stood back and let her talk with the crew, eying the tens of thousands of seats that would be filled in a matter of hours.
"I get that we need a lot of security, but I'm her flesh and blood. It shouldn't take me half an hour to get through it. I've gotten through airport security faster," Aiden grumbled, coming to stand beside me.
"That's because you've never flown on anything other than a private plane in your entire life," I reminded him.
He relented, fidgeting with the lanyard around his neck that gave him full access to every inch of the stadium.
"Security isn't changing," I said firmly, eyes scanning the woman in question. The one Lawrence and O'Malley and fucking Caius would love to take out.
Aiden got quiet for a while, eventually softly asking, "Why is it always Ma? There are a dozen other family members that could be targeted to make the same statement."
"No," I relented. "There are not."
I felt him eying me, could see it in my periphery as I refused to take my eyes off of my wife.
"Your mother took out the second biggest mob boss in the city when she was twenty-three. On a whim, with no help from anyone other than Ben. She spent over a year on trial and didn't say a fucking word. Men who have been trained to keep their mouths shut under torture have crumbled under the same pressure. Wives in the same situation talk before the cuffs slide into place."
I shook my head. "That kind of loyalty and integrity and strength are unmatched in our world. And the ultimate threat to anyone who doesn't have it on their side. On top of that… she's the woman who can fill this stadium to capacity for twenty-four nights in the same city. She's… she is one of if not the most successful entertainers to ever exist.
"Targeting anyone else in the family, myself included, sends nowhere near as powerful of a message as it does her."
The ultimate act of karma, maybe, for all of the shit I've done in my life. That I would so willingly take any threat against myself ten times over if it meant none were aimed at her.
Bella turned our way, smiling as she saw Aiden standing beside me. She reached up to press a kiss to his cheek.
He cocked his head to the side before she could say anything. "Crew?"
Bella frowned for a second, before eying the simple black t-shirt she was wearing with The Eras Tour Crew written on the right side of her chest. "I'm part of the crew," she said mockingly defensively.
"Most important member," one of the passing stage techs said with a smile.
"Thank you, Todd," Bella said, sticking her tongue out at Aiden as he coughed out a laugh.
–Love|Power–
I left Bella backstage, Ben and Alistair and two of her new former Marine guards with her as she ate an early dinner. Technically a late lunch, I supposed.
The doors would open within half an hour and I had a floor full of two hundred general members of the security team to talk to. Each one had been hired for the entirety of the tour. They weren't quite on the same level of security as Ben or Alistair or the new team of former Marine's we had, but most were former military. Each one having undergone a thorough background check and would be responsible for surrounding the stage, keeping the crowd contained and safe, and keeping an eye out for the detailed list of people we had given them that weren't allowed within a hundred feet of Bella.
O'Malley and Caius were at the top, but she had a fair share of other people on the list. Stalkers that didn't give a shit about her mob ties but were just as dangerous if given the opportunity.
They were all waiting on the floor of the stadium, gathered in a small section. Each stood straighter as I approached.
Bella led her business and team with kindness and respect. While I respected each of these people for what they did, kindness didn't work as well in my profession.
"You all know what your assignments are," I started. "You do not deviate from your assigned position. Those stationed at the stage barricades do not turn around. Anyone who does is fired on the spot. You doubt someone's intentions at all, you report it. You recognize someone from the list, you report it. Nothing, nothing happens to her. Tonight, tomorrow, or at any show. Understood?"
A round of nods was all I needed before I left and listened to them report to their positions.
"Traffic is already a mess," Jasper sighed as he and Emmett fell into step beside me. "Lines wrapped around the stadium."
"Half the people out there don't even have a ticket. They're just… hanging out. Having the time of their life already. Fucking crazy," Emmett mused.
I nodded. All of it was expected.
I walked out the door of one of the main entrances. Each of the members of security that were stationed out front thankfully already standing at attention and keeping an eye on everything.
I shook my head at the far too loud shouts from the crowd as I walked over to Luke, an old friend of Ben's from the military who was one of the higher ups among the interior security.
"All good so far?"
"Yes, sir. Just waiting for the go ahead to open the doors."
I nodded, turning to head back in when the girl in the front of the line caught my eye. She was dressed in head to toe glitter. Not an inch of her not glistening with it. Probably in her early twenties and shaking with excitement.
I scanned the crowd in front of me. Every person in their own elaborate outfit, each one smiling and excited and seeming to hold back the urge to shout at or for me.
My eyes fell back to the girl in front, the one who had to have gone through an exceptional amount of effort to be at the front of that line. She was hesitantly holding out a bracelet toward me.
"One for Bella," she said shakily, holding her arm out further once I started taking a few steps in her direction. She beamed at me as I took the outstretched bracelet.
I looked down at the simple beaded bracelet, coughing out a laugh at the phrase Fuck em all beaded into it. "I'll make sure she gets it," I promised.
"And one for you. If you want."
I took the second bracelet, smiling down as I read it. Vigilante Shit.
I couldn't say I had ever been given a friendship bracelet in my entire life. But it was a surprisingly endearing experience.
When I saw the crowd start to frantically search their arms for bracelets, I knew my time was up.
"What's your name?"
"Oh, um, Rachel."
"Where are your seats, Rachel?"
"Section 102. Row 31, seat 2," she answered immediately.
I nodded, committing the location to memory. "Thank you for the bracelets, Rachel. She'll love it."
I heard her choke on a sob as I turned back toward the door.
–Love|Power–
I made a mental note of every anxious tick I caught. Each time she went to pick at her freshly painted nails and then forced herself to stop. Every time she purposefully relaxed her jaw as Chrissy did her makeup. And every time I watched those teeth sink into her bottom lip as the mental clock every single person in the stadium had going down until showtime ticked on.
I knew her well enough to know she didn't necessarily want to talk. But also didn't want to be alone, either. Family came in and said hello as they arrived and she put on a smile for them that disappeared quickly once they were gone. Because not a single one of them fully understood what she was about to do.
Our family, from Alice and Jasper to Emmett and Rose to Aiden and Adeline, they all loved and appreciated Bella. Admired her work and career. But none of them would ever understand it completely.
I knew Alice and Rose often wondered why Bella still worked at all, had wondered it since I put a diamond on her finger. Emmett and Jasper wondered why I didn't put up more of a fight for events like this where the risks far outweighed the reward on our end. Aiden and Adeline and the younger Cullen's and Whitlock's understood Bella's career more than the others, but they also weren't around for the sheer chaos of the trial. They didn't see her fall from grace and claw her way back up again. And again. And again.
I saw it all. Since that first night I met her, I saw it. Lived it. Understood how much of herself she put into what she did and how important every single detail of the show was, because it was her.
"Hold… hold on," Bella muttered to Chrissy as she was about to grab for a blood red lipstick.
Bella hopped out of the makeup chair and I followed closely behind as she went to the adjoined bathroom. I had her hair pulled back before she was dry heaving over the toilet. Obviously fighting against the urge to lose her dinner.
I rubbed my free hand up and down her back until she was done.
"Thank you," she mumbled, putting her perfectly straight hair over her shoulder before she grabbed for a toothbrush. She went back to her makeup chair without another word.
With half an hour before showtime she was pacing her dressing room in a bodysuit that sparkled with every movement she made.
"I got you a present," I told her, grabbing one of the many velvet jewelry boxes I had stashed in the room.
Bella paused her pacing, turning toward me.
I froze, momentarily distracted by the face I had loved for over thirty years and still wasn't quite desensitized to. I recovered quickly, opening up the box for her to take in the necklace. A one of a kind piece the same designer of her opening act outfit made at my request.
"It's beautiful," she murmured, fingers barely brushing over the diamonds and jewels.
I picked the necklace up, discarding the box and standing behind her. She lifted her hair out of the way and let the piece settle against her collarbone.
I watched as she walked over to the full-length mirror and studied herself. Her fingers brushed against the jewels again and she gave me a small smile in her reflection. "Are there others?" she asked, brow cocked. This one was very obviously made to match the color scheme of her current outfit. The outfit that had half a dozen variations waiting for her to wear.
I gave her a quick wink just as there was a soft knock at the door.
I felt the tension return to her immediately.
"Hey," I said quickly, grabbing both of her hands and giving them a firm squeeze. "You've got this."
"What if I don't?" she breathed out shakily.
"You do. You, Isabella Cullen, have amazed me every single goddamn day since I met you. You've got this. You know you do."
She nodded hesitantly, but kept a firm grip on my hand as we sat side by side on a golf cart that drove us through the winding maze of the stadium. Until we got to her cleaning cart.
I fought against a plethora of jokes as she got herself situated and hidden in it to be wheeled to stage. I followed the two crew members pushing her, surrounded by Ben and Alistair and two former Marine's and caught my first glimpse of the filled stadium.
My own stomach dropped at the sight and all I was going to have to do for the next three and a half hours was watch.
She was smiling as she got out of the cart. A full, genuine smile that I couldn't help but match.
"You've got this," I told her again.
She nodded firmly. "I've got this."
There were no goodbyes or good lucks. Nothing else was needed as she was escorted by a stage hand to where the rest of the dancers and band were waiting for their pre-show ritual.
My hand fell to Ben's shoulder before he could follow her.
"Nothing happens to her," I told him firmly.
"Nothing."
The whole stadium was practically vibrating with excitement as I made my way to the tent reserved for friends and family. Alice and Rosalie lounged on the chairs, sipping cocktails and gossiping about something or other. Emmett and Jasper kept their eyes scanning the crowd. Aiden and Adeline had Ella perched on the railing between them, their daughter happily trading bracelets with girls that eagerly waited in line to do so. Jared and Maggie and Connor and Alec were all about as excited as the rest of the crowd. Drinks in their hands, bracelets on their wrists, and excited grins on their faces.
The screen flashed, switching to a clock and a countdown as the last song on the pre-show playlist started.
Let the rain wash away
All the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits
And they've forgiven my mistakes
I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home
Tell the world that I'm comin' home
~ Diddy, Coming Home
My eyes scanned the crowd, the screams nearly deafening even with the concert-proof ear plugs we were all wearing. As the countdown got closer and closer to zero I watched the faces of everyone I could catch. Girls with tears already streaming down their cheeks, women with their arms tight around their friends as they all stared up at the stage in disbelief. Men with equally shocked looks on their face as they took in their surroundings.
Each person in the stadium had been hand picked by the kids. They spent months finding people online who had supported Bella from the beginning of her career to kids who were raised on her music by their parents. All given travel and housing arrangements and free tickets if they could make it here tonight.
Not because she couldn't have sold out the place if she wanted. She had twenty-three other sold out shows after this.
But because she was always looking for a way to say thank you to them.
The lights went out.
The screams somehow got louder.
And after a beautiful intro, once the dancers had covered her entrance with their large fans and escorted her to her mark, there she was.
"It's been a long time coming but, it's you and me. That's my whole world. They whisper in the hallway 'she's a bad, bad girl.'"
A/N: Usually when I have chapters I've been planning for a long time, they're hard to write. This one has been in my brain for agessssss but it came very naturally. At this point, this story and the characters are pretty engrained in me so they're some of my favorite to write. I hope you guys love it as much as I do!
Lyrics at the end are from Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince by Taylor Swift. All of the songs mentioned in the setlist are by either Halsey or Taylor Swift. You all know the drill.