Chapter 26 – Holy Freaking History
14 April 2010
The Daily Prophet Offices
Diagon Alley
London, England
Theo's Office
Theo Nott
"I understand this has been a large transition, Jed. Ophelia's death took us all by surprise. I am still Editor-in-Chief of The Daily Prophet and I'm looking for a replacement. Everyone's needs are important to me and as soon as I can take five minutes to look over everything I need to, I will. I finalized the paperwork at Bulstrode, Bulstrode, and Bulstrode a week ago when I found out I had ten additional major publications to manage. Your vacation is not my priority at this time. If you need the two weeks take them, find a reliable replacement, and enjoy your honeymoon. You ringing me and yelling about me and Ophelia causing an inconvenience to you was inappropriate. Frankly, the old hag has caused me a great deal of inconvenience. I am working with barristers to incorporate all the publications. I suspended vacations only long enough to reincorporate the business. I'll contact the director of HR and make sure your vacation is settled. Next time you ring me, show an ounce of respect. Good day." I press end on the stupid piece of junk and fling it across the room. I put a cushioning charm on Monday when I was forced to speak to the first American.
Fuck that old hag, Phea! I've never talked to an American before. If all Americans are this fucking entitled, I'll sell the magazine and publishing company for ridiculous prices so someone bloody else can deal with the lot of tossers. Jed Johansson is the Editor-in-Chief for Time Wizard North America and called me demanding I allow him his honeymoon for his fourth bloody marriage. I understand why no decent woman would stay married to the wanker. On Monday, I sent out a memo to all publications to suspend leaves and vacations for a month so I could incorporate a business plan outside of DG Potions. Fucking Phea didn't just leave me part of the business to run, she left me the fucking businesses.
She had purchased Witch Weekly which actually runs out of Paris, but has several different branches around the world including Home. She purchased Time Wizard America which is two publications for South America and North America . Time Wizard Europe and Asia which runs out of one office in Berlin , and a French Newspaper called Informations Magiques, which is the only French wizarding newspaper in the world. She also held 32% of the shares for The Quibbler. She owns one publishing house in England, three publishing houses across Europe, and a huge one in America. They are the largest wizarding publishing houses in the world. The fucking hag left them all to me. I did NOT sign up for all this fucking responsibility!
I met with the barristers last Monday to handle all the paperwork. What a fucking nightmare. Since then I have been bombarded with issues with all the publications aside from The Quibbler. Apparently the editors don't use the owl system and then harassed me with Royal Mail. I have no idea how Ophelia kept in contact with these people before and when I asked the barrister he told me by mobile phone.
Now I'm not a total idiot, I have learned a lot about the muggle world in the last ten years. I just never saw the use of use of changing to muggle things. What I want to know is how the old hag ever learned how to use one? After I saw Drake with a mobile phone he told me to contact Potter to explain it. Potter also explained email to me. Holy fuck I have been bombarded with shite I don't even know how to deal with. Drake and I are meeting tomorrow to explain additional businessy things to me. How they fuck did she expect me to handle all this?
I'm meeting with Luna next week to sell the shares for The Quibbler at the price of 1 galleon a share. I'll get maybe 1000 galleons out of the deal, but I'd give it to her if I could. Luna is a friend. She still arrives to monthly dinners with the group when she can. She's married Rolf Scamander and has twins boys. She's rarely in the country, but The Quibbler is and will always belong to the Lovegoods, and she should have it all.
Dawson Jenkins is my best candidate for Editor-in-Chief for The Daily Prophet. He's been here for two years. He grew up in Australia, is a year older than me, and is by far our best investigative reporter. He is familiar with technology and has been trying to get me to switch to muggle technologies. He met an English half-blood while she took a holiday in his country. He says they fell in love and he left his country to move to London with her. He's fucking barmy for uprooting his life for a bird, but I'm glad he's working here now. I have enjoyed being Editor, but Phea in her infinite wisdom, has fucked up my life again.
17 April, 2000
The Daily Prophet Offices
Diagon Alley
London, England
Theo's Office
Theo Nott
Fuck my life. Since December people all over England have been protesting outside The Daily Prophet Offices as well as the Ministry of Magic and Hogwarts. They seem to be on a rotation. When Madame Dagworth-Granger said she wanted chaos, that is what we have created. My reporters are constantly harassed. I have been approached by every member of the Wizengamot to quit releasing articles over the education system so they can calm the Wizarding public long enough to find solutions. Fuck them! I wrote articles exposing every one of their arses last week.
The truth is DG Potions and Holdings are within their rights. There is little the Ministry of Magic can do right now. People are demanding changes. I had to hire both Padma and Pavarti Patil to handle the incoming mail and send replies to the inquiries. They all direct people to contact the Wizengamot members or The Board of Governors to Hogwarts to make necessary changes.
The issue is there were so few people left in the Wizengamot. All the Death Eaters were killed. Most of the seats were held by Death Eater families. The wizarding society didn't want family of Death Eaters to make decisions that would effect the rest of the population. I inherited my family seat in March when they finally settled the case of the Azkaban Massacre, but they refused to swear anyone in who was related to a Death Eater until they could be completely evaluated by the remaining members. Problem was many of the remaining members were under investigation since the sudden death of Dolores Umbridge.
Dolores Umbridge was found in her burned down home in September of 1999 No one suspected any foul play until they emptied her office. Her office was document after document of blackmail on every Wizengamot member. She got her way with extremely biased legislation being passed because she was threatening everyone. Turns out that bitch was a half-blood trying to pass her self off as a pureblood.
Cornelius Fudge was destroyed with evidence against him.. His seat was the first they revoked after he admitted to Aurors all of his wrongdoings. Information has not been released to the public which is bullshite. I don't even have a good source in the Auror office to find out. Potter and Zabini are in training and Blaise says he doesn't even know where they keep the files. It's been frustrating on my end. The public didn't even have any knowledge of these investigations until Fudge demanded an interview to tell his side. I took the interview out of curiosity, but never published it. Fuck Fudge!
We are still unraveling all of Dumbledore's lies. Armando Dippett kept the best journals, EVER ! I wish we had more. The 36 journals covered the last 40 years of his life. Dumbledore seduced him to get what he wanted. Dippett left excruciating details in his journals. Things I never wanted to read or know, and things we couldn't publish were outrageous, though we did our best. I have a nice collection of letters from Molly Weasley about what should be allowed in my newspaper. I have a couple of her best letters framed in my office. She didn't appreciate the details of Dumbledore's paraphilic infantilism or coprophilia to get his way with Dippitt. It was a little graphic, but necessary to illustrate how manipulated Dippett had become by Dumbledore.
It's become an absolute chaotic mess. I don't know how to move forward. Thankfully Madame Dagworth-Granger will be here shortly. We have meetings every Monday. The hag has been rather smug. I see she has been planning this for a long time and biding her time. Fuck she had an article from 1946 she saved for 53 years. I have a feeling this is only the beginning. My instincts tell me she has an agenda. I don't know what that is, and knowing she's a fucking menace with Legilimens doesn't help me. My Occlumency is atrocious. I fought anything my father wanted me to learn. I felt it was the only thing I had any control of in my life. So my act of rebellion has me fucked now. I'm basically a hostage to this hag's control over me. I can't say I mind too much. Her shite stirring is epic, and I'm learning so much from her. Last week I asked what house she was in, and she told me Slytherin. I'm quite sure there has never been a more Slytherin person since Slytherin himself. I was almost a fucking Hufflepuff, I begged that fucking hat to be placed into Slytherin. My father would have Avada'd me if I was placed into Hufflepuff. I'll take that fucking secret to my grave. I never even told Drake. Drake would spend his life taking the piss out of me. Bastard!
After a few minutes of making notes for my meeting with Madame Dagworth-Granger, she sweeps into my office looking like the fucking Queen. Tiara…Check. Two piece old lady suit in a fucking awful color...Check. Ugly sensible black shoes...Check. Smug look of entitlement compete with fake smile…Double Check.
I stand and greet her, "Madame Dagworth-Granger what a pleasure to see you."
She smiles, "Mr. Nott, pleasure. We have much to discuss, as you know."
She lifts her briefcase and places it in the end of my desk I keep clean for our meetings. She hands me a paper with several names listed. There are 250 surnames listed. She was kind enough to number them. Next to each of the names is a number next to them ranging from 0-20. Nott has a 1 next to it, as does Malfoy, and Potter.
She looks at me and begins her speech. She is in speech mode by the way she lifts her determined little chin. "This is the list of all the names for the Wizengamot seats during the creation of the of the Ministry of Magic in 1707. During this time the population of magicals humans was approximately 1.5 million people In Great Britian. Great Britian at the time had the highest concentration of magical humans in any population in the world. Today our population is closer to 10,000 magical humans. I'm making this distinction of humans versus magical beings for a reason. I will explain."
"Before humans ever occupied The British Isles, it was a magical place. Elves, Goblins, Giants, Centaurs, Merpeople, and Leprechauns along with a most magical creatures such as dragons, unicorns, hippogryffs, etcetera, were in sole possession of the British Isles. The British Isles contain the highest concentration of magical ley lines than any other place on Earth. Humans or Homo Sapiens evolved into the species we know today around 300,000 years ago. Prehistoric humans that occupied The British Isles were the first Wizards and Witches known in history around 45,000 years ago. As their population grew many decided to explore beyond the British Isles. This is how magic spread throughout Europe, Africa, and Asia. Because the explorers from the British Isles married and procreated with humans throughout the world. That is why we have magical beings and muggles. Muggles are humans that evolved outside The British Isles, Magical Beings are humans that evolved particularly in The British Isles. Without The British Isles, magic would have never existed. Our magic exists because it manifested from the people whom lived here 40,000 years ago. The British Isles are the legendary Garden of Eden. Indeed there is even a River Eden in what we know as the United Kingdom today."
"Humans were banned from the British Isles for a millennium around 10,000 years ago by the magical council of what we know today as magical beings. Humans were committing atrocities the council disagreed with, and were unapologetic. It caused much strife with humans and the initial hatred of magical beings passed through future generations. Many of the humans stayed away from The British Isles until around the year 4000 B.C. During the time no humans were present, elves and goblins, being the most prominent and intelligent magical beings in The British Isles, suppressed a great deal of magic of the land to prevent humans from developing pure magical beings should they come back to The British Isles. They wanted to prevent the travesties that occurred when humans were on the land before they were banned."
"When humans did arrive many were muggles and developed farming villages throughout the land. The elves and goblins were unable to suppress all of the magic in the land and while the Celts were the primary settlers, Druids who were born on the land began to grow in number. Druids were magical beings born in The British Isles during that time."
"Throughout the rest of the world between 8000 B.C to around 3000 B.C., Magical People became the dominate forces of man kind. Many monarchs, noblemen, and muggle gods were wizards. Religion was created by wizards to instill control over the growing barbaric muggle population through fear and doctrine. They used magic to establish religious control of muggles. A council of Greek wizards became the stories behind the Greek Gods around 3000 B.C. Because magic was still singular and bred through families. One's magic was a particular ability. Zeus was dominant in elemental air magic. He could create storms and lightening."
"Then came the concept of one god who was an unseen entity whom created mankind. This allowed magical people to set rules for muggles. Then came Jesus, who claimed to be the son of God. He excelled in healing magic and became the martyr wizards needed to create the Catholic Church. When the Roman Empire began conquering Europe wizards established themselves in certain areas. Magical people established churches in the area to implement control over muggles. In other parts of the world, other wizards used similar tactics to control muggles. Hence the philosophy of magical people dominating muggles."
"Now back to The British Isles, between the years of 3000 B.C and 500 B.C many people arrived from the European continent and settled in The British Isles creating the Gaelic, Britons, and Pictish people who were in fact a bunch of tribes that shared similar language, cultural, and religious beliefs. They were all governed or guided by wizards. In 43 A.D. the Roman Empire conquered what is today England and Wales, but failed to conquer Ireland and Scotland. During the Roman control they brought many things to England and Wales, or the province of Brittania, such as Roman customs and laws, improved infrastructure, and created roads to connect the various towns. When the Roman Empire fell Germanic tribes took over Great Britain creating several different kingdoms. It was during this time many magical creatures and beings were slaughtered forcing them into hiding. Between the years 410 and 1016, The British Isles were fought over by the Norse tribes, Brittons, and remaining Anglo-Saxon tribes, but the Magical humans united throughout The British Isles under the guise of The Catholic Church. In 934, Hogwarts was established on a cluster of ley lines in Scotland. In 1066, William the Conqueror, defeated the King Harald II and was backed by many wizards at the time. He brought with him his owe army of wizards, including the Malfoys. The Native wizards, the Norman wizards, and the Catholic wizards united at this time. What Elves were left begged for protection from the wizards and the wizards agreed. The Elves were thankful and promised servitude to the wizards for protecting them. The goblins were angry with wizards and humans for invading their land and went into hiding underground. Diagon Alley was created to protect the goblins' underground entrance. Wizards asked the goblins to open Gringott's as a way of including them in society. Goblins were very angry at humans in general for destroying their magical paradise. Giants were hidden in the mountains in Scotland, and the centaurs migrated to Ireland. Magical creatures were hidden on newly established lands of magical nobility. Many castles and manors were built for the wizarding nobility at the time. Nobility was established all over the land and some were even Muggle."
"However, the very first wizarding war began in 1096 and lasted until 1271. A sect of wizards wanted all wizards to gain control of the world instead of working along side muggles. They believed muggles were inferior. They were backed by Muslims, both magical and muggle, the Middle Eastern version of Catholics. We called it The Great Power War, muggles called it The Crusades."
"Several things happened during that time. First, with the Catholic Church being ran by wizards, they enlisted muggles to help fight the Crusades. By now the doctrine of the Catholic Church was believed by many muggles. The deception of the wizards to control muggles backfired. Muggles noticed they were not allowed prominent positions in the church and demanded equality in order to fight. Wizards slowly lost control of the Catholic Church to the muggles mostly due to greed from the wizards. They would take lands from the muggles in the name of the church. Muggles noticed the hypocrisy of the wizards in control and began to take control of the Catholic Church. In 1183, Wizards retreated from the Catholic church when their magic was discovered by muggles. Muggles feared magic and became hostile towards wizards. This began the Inquisition which lasted off and on from 1184 to 1834. The muggle Catholics killed 300,000 magical people in that time. History books will tell you they killed Protestants, Jewish people, or Muslims, but they were all witches and wizards.
"In the British Isles, King John began taxing and taking land from his barons which at the time were all wizards. In 1215, wizards united in Great Britain and forced the king to sign the Magna Carta. This forced the King to receive permission to raise taxes, it established The Wizarding Council, and held everyone accountable for breaking the law."
This is insanity! How can this be reality? I interrupt her, "Stop. Stop. Stop. Back up! Wizards created religion to control humans? How could they get away with this? How did humans not recognize magic being used?"
She smiled, "The early muggles were quite primitive. Language was still being developed in the really early days. There is a story of a Muggle who saved the Jewish people from slavery with help from a wizard who was great with water and fire magic. The man journeyed to the top of a mountain where he was met with a burning bush and 'talked' to God. When the man asked who he was he said his name was Yahweh (YHWH) which translates to 'I am who I am'. The wizard gave him rules to give the people to follow. Rules such as be nice to your parents, don't lie, steal, kill, or commit adultery. A rule to take a break from work one day a week, and other rules to establish one true god. There were ten total to keep it simple. The wizard transfigured a couple of slates of rock and wrote down all the rules to follow. So the muggle wouldn't forget and would have proof to show his people God was serious about these rules."
How did no one know this? I have to ask, "I assume you have proof of all this, don't you?"
She huffs, "Of course I do, but I wasn't really interested in exposing religion. Muggles need religion, it is a psychological need to believe in something larger than yourself. Muggles need to believe there are serious consequences to their actions. They do not have magic that connects them to the land or each other the way wizards do. I was attempting to make you understand where and why the distrust of muggles came from. You need to understand the origins of our society so you know the changes that need to be made. This is why history is important so you can't make the same mistakes. It is important to know how things happened and why. Humans, magical and muggle, have committed atrocious acts to each other throughout history. We cannot wipe out history simply because it is unpleasant. It is important to know why things happened and why they happened so we can learn from and prevent those things from happening again. Muggle and magical history leaves out a great deal of unpleasantness because they do not want to remember the terrible actions of our ancestors."
"Wizards and muggles have committed countless crimes to one another and to our own throughout our history. Wizards are just as guilty. In 1346, goblins were disgusted with what humans had done to the land. They were in the middle of London where overpopulation was at it's worst. They found a wizard who was just as disgusted with the conditions. The goblins offered this wizard a million galleons to create a potion and spread it throughout Europe to rid the world of this pestilence that was muggles. Muggles called it the Bubonic Plague, however many know it as The Black Death. Yes it was Perseus Black who created this potion that killed up to 200 million muggles throughout Europe. No one knows the exact number, but London had the largest casualties in all of Europe. Perseus Black was treated indifferently by the wizarding community. Wizards saw the problem with overpopulation, and were quite irritated with muggles at the time. Since the plague only hurt muggles, they, the Wizarding Council passed a few laws to prevent this from happening again, and gave Perseus a strong warning. This caused further tensions with wizards and muggles.
"In 1534, King Henry VIII was encouraged by some wizards to create the Church of England. Wizards liked the feeling of feeling superior and were involved heavily with the church. Again tensions rose, and in 1542, The Witchcraft Act was passed in England. Wizards were appalled. Though no actual witches were found, the wizards were now torn on what they should do. It was agreed wizarding society needed to separate from the Muggles and in 1544 The Wizengamot was established from all the wizarding gentry of the time. The Wizengamot was to act a legislative and judicial body for the Wizarding World. Some members continued with the Muggle government side of things, and it caused major rifts within the Wizengamot. Many believed Wizards needed to protect the women of our society and withdraw completely, other believed we needed to stay on top of the muggles to guide them into a more civilized society. Arguments and duels broke out constantly in the Wizengamot sessions. Many rifts between families started at this time. The famous rivalry between the Malfoys and Weasleys began during this time. In 1688, the Statute of Secrecy was passed and all associations between muggles and wizards was wiped from muggle history and it was legal to confound or obliviate them for a couple of decades. In 1689, the Queen Mary II was forced to sign the Bill of Rights and created a Constitutional Monarchy. Now that the muggle government was under control, it was time for the Wizarding Society to make some decisions. Finally in 1707 when Great Britain was united as one nation, all wizards withdrew from muggle government and the Ministry of Magic was officially formed. We had an elected minister that was subjected to elections every 6 years. We had a Wizengamot comprised of the elite in wizarding society. That list of 250 names were the elite wizarding families in that time. Many of those families left the Great Britian between the years of 1710 to 1850 for various disputes and new opportunities in the New World. Those seats still exist, it's now our job to get those seats filled with open elections."
I stare at her for a minute. This woman is fucking my life up. I know what's next, I'm going to have to take my fucking family seat. I look at my bottom drawer and pull out two tumblers and my bottle of firewhiskey, and pour us a generous portion in each. I hand her hers and she raises one eyebrow and takes a sip and I down mine.
I finally speak, "Now we are filling the Wizengamot? I assume you have a plan?"
She smiles and takes one more sip. "Of course. We are going get as many of those filled with your generation, and then we are going to lobby for open elections to fill the rest. You, Draco, Adrian Pucey, Harry Potter, and one of the Weasleys, who can take the Prewett seat are just a start. That list comes with a companion." She pulls out another parchment and the lists all available people eligible to take seats in the Wizengamot. The total is 107 seats that can remain hereditary seats, leaving 143 open for elections.
She hands me a key, "This is a key to a vault. I have left resources in there. Only you can access it, but materials can be removed as long as you return them. Every piece in there has protections to prevent damage. Once we finish this next set of articles and changes have been made, we need to get rid of some of these archaic laws. First seats need to be filled. I almost forgot…"
She then hands me a folder with all the evidence of blackmail the Aurors have on the current Wizengamot members. I look up at her with a large smile.
14 April 2010
The Leaky Cauldron
Diagon Alley
London, England
Theo
I've been thinking about Phea all day and how that day really changed my outlook on things. The vault was filled with books and scrolls, old fucking scrolls. It was fascinating to read through them. When the Statute of Secrecy was passed in 1688, wizards erased us from muggle history. They also rewrote our history to put a better light on wizards. Manipulation of the muggles was harsh, but when it backfired on them, they were embarrassed about that history. She asked for the key back once we were able to force seats to be filled in the Wizengamot. First we put pressure on heirs and direct descendants to fill old seats, next we put pressure to fill the other seats with elections. By the New Year of 2001, all 250 seats were filled.
Drake, Potter, and I took our seats. Pansy Parkinson took over her father's seat, as did Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, and Oliver Wood. George Weasley changed his name to Prewett-Weasley and took over the Prewett seat. Seats were filled fast. Elections were completed quickly and though Molly Weasley ran for election, she didn't win and hasn't won since. Elections occur every three years.
I have to say we made many positive changes, and thanks to Phea, I had a context to argue over things intelligently. I have helped draft new laws that have made vast improvements to our world. We are even mending relationships between Goblins and Wizards. We have freed elves and given them rights, though many choose to stay with their families. They are required pay and time off. Some elves have taken jobs in the Ministry and I hired one to clean at The Daily Prophet. Elves and Goblins have even talked about lifting the some of the magical restrictions on the ley lines now that we have given equal rights to muggle-borns. They say the land flourishes better with more witches and wizards. I only know this because Potter's elves are chatty little things and hate Potter. So they talk to everyone, but Potter. It's taboo to say 'mudblood' out loud. If you do say it, you receive an owl with a 50 galleon fine and repeat offenders are heavily punished. I wrote that bill, I'm pretty proud of it. It felt like a nice 'Fuck You' to my father.
George Prewett-Weasley had joined myself, Drake, Potter, Neville, and Blaise for dinner. He left shortly after we ate. We are finished up hours ago. Drake has been on his phone waiting for a text from Granger, and he's freaking out because she hasn't responded since lunchtime. Potter even tried. It's around 10 at night and we are all pretty pissed. This is our traditional weekly meet up. The married guys come about once or twice a month, sometimes others join us, but me and Drake are always here on Wednesdays.
All the sudden Potter and Drake's phone make an obnoxious beep and they look at their phones. That's when George's chair moves and he sits back in his seat with a huge smile.
I look up at George, "What has you so fucking happy?"
Drake looks at Potter and says, "She's decided to come." Then he smiles.
Potter raises arms in the air and says, "WOO-HOO!"
I look at them all, and ask, "What the fuck is going on?
George speaks first, "Granger will be at The Leaky this Friday at 10PM."
Potter smile drops and he stares at George, and asks, "How the fuck do you know?"
George smiles and reaches in his robes and pulls out what appears to be a journal, "She released my silencing charm tonight, I've been talking to her for ten years through that two way journal."
Drake and Potter both look at him and simultaneously yell, " WHAT?!"