"Meredith, what the hell is going on?" Derek frowned after watching her eat so little and almost falling asleep where she was sitting
"Derek.. You only need to know because you're Maddie's dad and because this will change her life" Meredith started explaining and got Derek really worried
"Meredith, come on. Tell me what the hell is going on!" Derek got impatient
"Derek.. I'm sick.." Meredith quietly said
"Sick in what way?" Derek frowned, his blue eyes widening
"Sick as in chemo and radiation and surgery.." Meredith whispered
"You- cancer?" Derek frowned and he watched her nod his head. "Since when? How bad, where?" He gasped
"Not important. I'm starting chemo this afternoon, I already underwent radiation and surgery without success so.. that's why Richard convinced me to come here" Meredith explains
"Mer, please. I need to know how bad it is. I still care about you even though we're no longer together." Derek says desperately. "I- I can't lose you."
"I'll be fine. I am fine. That's all you need to know." Meredith says softly, resting her head on top of her hand. She yawns. "I just need you to take care of Maddie whenever I or the Webbers can't."
"Of course I can take care of her. She's my daughter. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you. This is going to be very hard on you." He says, looking her in the eyes.
"Just help Maddie. This is going to be a big change in her life and she's not going to understand why."
Derek nods. He sees Richard walking towards them.
"Hey Derek." Richard says to Derek. He sees that Derek looks sad and knows that he knows Meredith's secret.
"Hey Chief." Derek says.
Richard looks over at Meredith and sighs at the bags under her eyes. He sees that her food has not been touched. "Mer, you need to eat. You need to keep your strength up."
"I'm not hungry." Meredith says softly. "I'm going to go take a nap in an on-call room." She says and rubs her eyes.
"Meredith, you have your appointment in fifteen minutes and then chemo after." Richard says gently.
"Oh. Right. That." Meredith's face falls.
"Come on. Let's get you up there." Richard says softly.
Meredith nods and stands up. She says a quick goodbye to Derek and reluctantly follows Richard down the hallway to the elevators.
"It's going to be okay Mer." Richard says softly to her.
Meredith just nods, not wanting to look him in the eyes.
They get up to her appointment and checked in.
Ten minutes later a nurse comes and calls for her. "Meredith?"
Richard looks over at Meredith and sees that she's fallen asleep. "Mer, time to wake up. It's time for your appointment."
Meredith slowly opens her eyes and nods tiredly.
Richard sighs at how exhausted she is.
Meredith follows Richard towards the nurse and they both follow her to an exam room.
"I'll give you a minute to change into this gown and then I'll take your vitals." The nurse says and her and Richard leave to give Meredith privacy to change.
Meredith slowly changed into the gown as she felt completely exhausted. Once she finished she took a seat on the chair, not wanting to sit on the exam table until she had to.
The door to the exam room opened a crack. "Meredith, are you dressed?"
"Yes." Meredith said tiredly.
The nurse and Richard came back into the room.
"Can you step onto the scale so I can get a quick weight from you?" The nurse asks.
Meredith nods and steps onto the scale.
"Thank you. Come over onto this exam table and I'll get your vitals." The nurse says.
Meredith doesn't want to be at this appointment. All she wants to do is sleep. She sits on top of the table and sighs.
"Mer, you doing okay?" Richard asks, concerned at the paleness of her face. He can tell how tired she is.
"I'm tired. I don't feel well." She whispers, completely exhausted. She shivers, her body freezing.
The nurse goes about collecting Meredith's blood and taking her vitals. Her vitals are a little low but not too concerning.
"Dr Swender will be in in just a moment." The nurse says and leaves the room.
"I want to go home and sleep." Meredith says, turning her head to look at Richard.
"I know. You can sleep during your chemo session Mer. It's still going to be a while before we can get you into your bed. Why don't you lay down?"
Meredith nods and lays down on the table. She closes her eyes in an attempt to fall asleep but is interrupted just a few minutes later by Dr Swender walking in.
"Hello Dr Webber, Dr Grey. How are we doing today?" Dr Swender asks, while cleaning her hands with hand sanitizer from the wall.
No response from Meredith. She just continues to lay on the table.
Richard speaks up for Meredith when he sees that she isn't going to. "Hello Dr Swender. Meredith is extremely exhausted among other things." Richard and Dr Swender talk about Meredith's condition for a few minutes while Meredith just lays there.
"Meredith? Is it okay if I start examining you? We need to make sure that the cancer hasn't spread anymore than it already has." Dr Swender says.
At first, she was only going to need radiation and surgery to get rid of the breast cancer but when they opened her up back in New York they found that the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes in her armpit. Once Richard found out that it had spread and that she would need chemotherapy, he immediately requested that she come back home to Seattle to live with him and Adele.
Once Meredith gave the okay, Dr Swender went ahead and untied the top of her hospital gown so that she could examine Meredith's breast. She started palpating Meredith's breast and Meredith winces in pain.
"I'm sorry Meredith. I know it's sensitive from the radiation. I'm almost done with this part." Once Dr Swender finishes she gets the ultrasound machine ready. "I'm going to take an ultrasound of your breast now. I apologize if it hurts you any." She starts doing the ultrasound and Meredith feels the pain from the wand going over her breast. She lets some tears escape.
After a few minutes Dr Swender is finished with the ultrasound. "Okay, Meredith. All done here. Good news. It has not spread anymore."
Meredith manages a tiny smile at the news.
"That's great news!" Richard tells Meredith. She nods in return.
"Meredith, I know you are still working but is there any way you can slow down some? Chemo is going to take an awful toll on your body and you're going to need all of the rest you can get. You're going to feel even worse than you do now. Do you have anyone who can help you out at home or anything? Friends, family?" Dr Swender asks.
"I'm fine. I need to work while I can. I know I'll have to stop at some point but I just need to do what I can now. And I'm staying with Richard and his wife. They're helping me with my daughter." She says.
Dr Swender nods. "Okay, I'll allow you to continue working for a little while but you're going to have to stop soon. Your body won't be able to handle both working and chemo. The chemo alone is going to be hard enough on you. And you're going to be prone to infections so you need to be very careful."
"Okay. Thank you." Meredith says. She yawns and rubs her eyes tiredly.
"Okay, I'm going to take you on up to a patient room and we'll get started on your first round of chemo." Dr Swender says.
"Do I have to stay in the gown? Can I change back into my clothes?" Meredith asks, not wanting anyone to see her in a hospital gown.
"You can change into your own clothes. That's fine. Change into your clothes and come out when you're dressed." Dr Swender and Richard leave and give her privacy to change.
Meredith changes back into her scrubs and goes out into the hallway. Meredith and Richard follow Dr Swender to a patient room.
Dr Swender has Meredith settle into the bed. She attached Meredith to the heart monitor and put the pulse oximeter to measure her pulse and blood oxygen levels. "Meredith, I'm going to start a bag of fluids along with your chemo." Meredith had gotten the port inserted right before they left New York so that she could start chemotherapy right away. She inserts an IV into Meredith's port on her chest and starts both fluids and her chemo treatment. "Okay Meredith, it's 1pm now, your chemo lasts 6 hours so you will be finished at 7pm. Let a nurse know if you need anything at all." Dr Swender talks to them for a few more minutes and then leaves.
"Richard, it burns." Meredith whispers. "I don't like this." She says with tears in her eyes. "I'm scared."
"I know honey. I know. I wish I could make this easier for you. Why don't you try to sleep? You've got six hours of treatment so that will help pass the time. And I know you're exhausted." Richard says gently, rubbing her head.
Meredith nods. "Okay." She manages to get out while wincing at the pain from the chemo.
Richard sees Meredith start to shiver even with the sheets from the bed covering her, so he grabs another blanket from the closet and lays it on top of her.
It takes a while because of the chemo burning as it enters her body but Meredith finally manages to fall asleep.
"Please get better, Meredith." Richard says to Meredith's sleeping body.
——
Hope you enjoyed! Leave a review! Thanks to my co-writer ktje