The bitter chill of the early morning wind bit at Hanna's skin, causing her to shiver despite it being the first weekend of March. Sam, standing beside her, was also shivering in her black leather jacket and beanie, rubbing her hands together to try and generate warmth. Despite the cold, both were grinning with satisfaction as they stood in front of their reward for 13 months of hard work - their new clubhouse.
After the successful initial test and deployment of AccountAberration, they spent an additional three months to complete Bucky. Figuring out the logistic of connecting multiple bank accounts in multiple different jurisdictions to do wire transfers was easier said than done, especially the automated system to create receipts for the transfers. It taxed their 8088 computer to its limit and slowed down the homemade 80286 computer.
As they were busy with developing Bucky, AccountAberration made no additional transactions to its respective bank accounts. However, during the course of those three months three months, AA had managed to infiltrate other branches of Texas Capital Bank within the state of Texas. When they found out how fast AA spread, they resist the temptation to start the transactions again, just to see how quickly it would reach its random limit - it barely took two hours to fill it. The feeling of euphoria they both experience was short-lived when Hanna pointed out that AA was too good and too fast. Sam quickly sobered and suggested that they randomize the time to fill the account but increase the number of accounts AA would handle, and they quickly roll out an update for AA.
With Bucky completed, they started filtering the money they received from AA through the network of shell companies and bank accounts they have set up. While waiting for the money to reach its final destination. They began house hunting in Bishop and Kingsville, with Hanna being particular about finding the perfect location. This caused delays in the purchase, which frustrated Sam. She questioned Hanna's desire to buy a property near the town center and close to the police station due to their illicit activities, but Hanna simply replied that it was best to hide under the noses of idiots.
When they found the property Hanna wanted, it's in the perfect spot near to the station, library and school. They then use their shell company to hire a lawyer from a small law firm in Corpus Christi to be their representative for the purchase. It took a month to close the deal on the house and now is proudly owned by a corporation based in the British Virgin Islands. They then hired contractors to build a wooden fence around the property for added privacy and general maintenance of the property.
"Stop standing around Han." Said Sam with a light tone as she walks towards the door. Chuckling at Sam's eagerness, Hanna pulled out the keys they picked up from the shell company's PO box the day before and tossed them to Sam. "Think fast!" Exclaimed Hanna. Without missing a beat, Sam swiftly turned and caught the keys in mid-air, beaming with satisfaction.
Hanna joins Sam in the house, looking in the empty living room for the first time and said. "First order of business is getting some furniture catalogues. I don't want to be sitting on the floor." She felt Sam bump her arm. Glancing at her, she saw a smirk and Sam said. "As long as I get veto rights." Letting out a groan, knowing that she wouldn't be able to convince Sam otherwise. "Fine, but we need some colour and style in here. It's too bland." Said Hanna as she made her way towards the kitchen.
She wonders if they should get a fridge. Cooking was never really something she enjoyed doing. No matter how many times Mother forced her to bake cakes or cookies with her, despite her love for sugary things. "Do you want a fridge?" Asked Hanna, looking back towards Sam, who shrugs and replied. "Would be useful just in case we want to store something. We should get a microwave and kettle." Sam has a point; some dangerous things require cold storage. "Maybe stock up on some canned food and frozen food." Said Sam. Oh, of course she meant food. Might need two fridges then. Mixing those things with our food doesn't sound like a fun time. "Don't forget instant ramen."
The house is such a typical three-bedroom American house, at least it has two toilets. "We still haven't chosen which bedroom is who's." Said Hanna as she stands in the corridor that leads to all the rooms. Looking at Sam for a response, but she only received a look like she's an idiot. Which cause to Hanna tilt her head in confusion. She was sure she didn't do anything wrong.
"Han, you constantly end up on the floor if you're not drowned in pillows or hugging me like a stuff animal." Accused Sam. Hanna felt offended by such a slander. She would know if such a thing happened. She always wakes up on her feet. "Do you really not realize you do that?" Said Sam, who's face slowly transformed from a dumbfounded one to a deadpan. Hanna gave her a skeptical look. Is Sam trying to gaslight her because if she is, she's superb at it. Hanna honestly could not recall such an accident happened, sure she loves being covered in fluffy pillows and sometimes sleep hug Sam because she's warm. So Hanna just shrugged and shook her head. Her friend must be mistaken. Sam let out a sigh and rubs her face. "We'll just put a queen-size bed in the master bedroom." Said Sam in such a defeated tone. She was fine with that solution; Sam should have just said she wanted company rather than trying to gaslight her.
"What about the other two rooms?" Said Hanna, who's trying to move on from that odd one-sided conversation. "How about turning one into a computer room and the other into an electronic lab?" Suggested Sam. Thankfully, she sounds normal again. Having a place just for electronic testing would be nice. The equipment really crowded the desk in her home now. But the computer room seems boring. "I think rather than a computer room, we should turn it into our very own library!" Hanna said excitedly as she enters one of the rooms.
"Just imagine it now, Sam. Shelves lining the walls, a desk for us to work on, and a comfy chair with a stylish standing lamp." Said Hanna, while she moves around the room. "That sounds perfect. We have both have books filled with things we've written over the years, would be nice to have one place to keep it all." Sam said with her eyes lit up at the idea. "We can come up with so many ideas here, our very own brainstorming spot with all our reference books at our fingertips!" Hanna said as she drapes her arm over Sam's shoulder, who grins.
They continue to talk in their newly dubbed library before going to the next room. "I guess this will be the electronic lab. Do you want to bring the 2215 here?" Sam asked behind her as Hanna walks into the room to examine it and finding some faults and said. "We need to add more outlets and probably extra breakers." Sam nods in agreement and said. "Do we need to get a contractor for that? We can make it an adventure and do it ourselves." Hanna couldn't help but agree with that. She really doesn't want anyone other than them to come into this house now. So, she nods and said. "Also aim bigger Sam, we have so much space now and the 2215 is old already."
Sam seems to burn with excitement and said. "We can finally buy better equipment like the 2465A, a semiconductor parameter analyzer, a source meter, and a logic analyzer." Hanna couldn't help but lose herself in the idea of getting those items, she's been wanting most of those things for years. Now she has the means but… "Where's the fun in it if we just buy everything we need Sam." Hanna said with a pout as she sees Sam raised her an eyebrow and said. "Han, the only thing we can steal is the 2465A. We need to buy the rest of the things."
Honestly, Sam still thinks it's stealing when it's clearly not. But she's right about the other items. "Fine, we can go repurpose the 2465A from that warehouse." Hanna conceded. Sam rolled her eyes, but then offered some encouragement. "Cheer up, Han, you read the same things as me. You know more and more systems are going to be connected using TCP/IP. So when companies start selling their things on the internet, you'll have plenty of opportunities to hack and steal to your heart's content." Hanna let out a happy snort. Sam always knows what to say.
They made a list of things they want to get for the lab and library as they made their way back to the living room. "I guess this will be our computer room now. Got any idea on what computers we should get?" Asked Sam. Oh, the gleeful thought of newer, faster computers is just so intoxicating. "We should get a few IBM PS/2 Model 8580-A31." Hanna said with a smile so wide it hurts to which Sam snorted with eyebrows raised and said. "You're such a Big Blue fangirl and that computer cost like half the price of this house." Hanna scoffs at that. She's certainly not a fangirl. It's not her fault that IBM makes good computers. "How about getting two Dell system 300s and you can get your PS/2 as well?" Sam suggested.
"I suppose mother always says to support local business." Conceded Hanna, though she still planned on getting two PS/2 systems. Hanna went to look out the living room windows. She wonders if they need to board it up or maybe some electroshock booby trap. "We need to hack the neighborhood phone box like we did for your house." Sam said as she joins her by the window. Hanna could only nod at that, just another thing to add to the growing list. It's the reason her parents haven't noticed the increase in their phone bill despite her increase in usage. "How do we accept delivers? Just leave the garage door open?" Asked Sam.
Did she forget to tell Sam about the other thing? She must have. Might as well have fun with it. She grabs Sam's hand and drags towards the backyard. "There's something I want to show you." Said Hanna with a wild grin on her. Sam just went along with it, showing how much trust she had in Hanna, or she's probably just used to it now.
Standing in front of the back fence that leads to the other lot. Hanna sta rted kicking the wooden planks. "What the hell are you doing!?" Sam said with a perplex look. Another kick seems to loosen the first plank. "No swearing, Sam." Hanna said as she continues kicking. She really should have brought a hammer. Sam let out a small frustrated sound and said. "Why do you want to go to neighbor's property?" Looks like the second plank is off. They should easily fit through now. "Come on, it's a surprise!" Said Hanna as she grabs Sam and go through the opening.
"Why do you have a key?" Sam said suspiciously as they are in front of the other house back door. "Because we own this house as well!" Hanna beamed at Sam, who seemed more confused. "What's the point and why didn't you tell me?" Said Sam, sounding exasperated while pinching her nose, which cause Hanna to feel abashed. "Eh, eh… I kinda forgot to tell you about it? The reason I choose our clubhouse is that this property was empty as well." Said Hanna as she tries making gestures to cheer up the blank face Sam.
Sam seems to recover fast from the revelation. "Does this have to do with deliveries?" Said Sam while she walks in this house. The question made Hanna snap her fingers and point at Sam for the hole in one. They need to find a name for this house, maybe the trap house. "We're going to use this address for deliveries and as an entrance to the clubhouse!" Hanna exclaimed as she does a small graceful spin.
Sam scoffs at the silly display and said. "You're way too paranoid for an 11-year-old Han." Hanna wouldn't say it's paranoia since that's what sick people have. "I'm not paranoid, Sam. It's just being cautious." Hanna pauses midway, pondering. "I think it's prudent for us if I put the lawyers to sleep after they finish purchasing the clubhouse in Kingsville for us." Hanna finished with a hand wave.
Sam froze with her eyes wide at that comment. Hanna forgot Sam is still squeamish about this topic, so she adds. "Oh, don't worry, you don't have to help with this. I know you don't feel ready for this kind of thing." This is getting awkward. Sam is still frozen in place but is breathing normally. Sam blinks a few times before saying. "I don't think it's smart for us to kill every lawyer or representative we use, Han. The police might be idiots, but even they can see a pattern if people die after they got a job from a foreign company." Sam has a point; Hanna must have missed that it would create such an obvious pattern. Maybe the lawyers somehow get into accidents that can't be linked to them. That would be ideal.
Hanna shrugs and giving Sam a side hug of reassurance. "Alright, they might still be useful tools." Said Hanna. She felt Sam sag a little. Maybe she was worried they might get caught. "That means we can use the clubhouse garage to practice ballet." Sam Said with a grin. Oh, that's such a good idea.
SAMANTHA GROVES POV
Sam and Hanna are being bounced around in the back of Mr. Frey's pickup truck as they travel down the bumpy dirt road. It's been a month since Sam's birthday, and Han had surprised her at their clubhouse with a dark chocolate cake topped with pink frosting. Sam is fond of dark chocolate, but she was certain beyond a reasonable doubt that Han did pink frosting to screw with her. She knew Hanna hated cooking; nevertheless, she adores the brunette's effort.
Not long after her birthday, Han somehow convinced her dad to bring them boar hunting together. It caused Sam some internal conflict. She has never thought about killing before. Sure, Han sometimes contemplates doing it to people, but Sam always managed to dissuade her friend before she does anything she would really regret. Sam couldn't help but wonder if this was some kind of plan by Han to make her less 'squeamish' about the subject.
A soft hum beside her brought things back into focus as she felt another bump on the road. She really does not like off roading. Glancing at her friend who's looking out the window longingly into the early morning sun and humming her odd songs which had her subconsciously relaxing. Sam wonders if the thing she longs for is the act of killing, but she has never seen Han being unnecessarily cruel to animals or towards other people she dislikes.
Much to of her relief, she felt the car slowing down. Looking out the front window, she saw another car with a man in hunting gear and a rifle waiting for them outside. She recognizes the man. It's Mr. Garcia, the kindly man that always let them use his shooting range. She followed Mr. Frey out of the car with Han beside her. "Hey Brian. You are sure the girls are ready for this?" said Mr. Garcia with a nod and a smile towards Sam and Han. That comment is going to annoy Han for sure. "Hi Jorge. Yeah, I'm sure. Han here's a deadeye shot, and Sam is very good." Mr. Frey said as he shook Mr. Garcia's hand. She peered towards Han and saw an ugly sneer aimed towards Mr. Garcia. She's seen that look before, and it's never good. She quickly grabbed Han's icy hand to reassure her, who seemed surprised by the gesture and returned a smile.
"Come on, there should be hogs are over at that tree line." Said Mr. Garcia. Sam and Han followed Mr. Frey to the trunk to grab the rifles. Looking at the trunk bed, she sees the small arsenal they brought with them, a scoped Mini 14, a M77 and a Springfield sniper rifle. Han quickly grabs the Springfield and holds it like it's something precious. Sam let out a chuckle at the display. For someone who says not to covet things, she sure loves guns. "You sure you don't want the .308? It would kick less." Mr. Frey said as he picks up the M77, leaving the last gun for Sam to pick up. She's more than happy to use the Mini 14. It's such a nice gun to shoot, though she prefers pistols. "Nope. Let's go hunt some prey!" Said Han with much enthusiasm to which Sam could only roll her eyes.
Sam yawns as she walks beside Han as they follow Mr. Frey and Mr. Garcia. Unlike Han, who would wake up at dawn, Sam dislikes waking up early in the morning, but she can't deny the morning fresh air smells amazing. They continue to walk in silence for a few minutes, lost in her own thoughts about projects she and Han are doing in the clubhouse. Ever since getting those new electronic testing equipments they've been hacking and reverse engineering every electronic thing they found interesting, such as new CPUs, VGA cards, etc, etc. She just loves it when she finds vulnerabilities in the designs.
"We should defraud and implicate that pest in a crime or, better yet, cause a happy accident that would leave him crippled." Whispered Han, breaking her from her thoughts. Sam snapped her head towards the brunette who's giving Mr. Garcia a stink eye. She tries to figure out what's causing Han to be so hostile. It couldn't be the earlier comment. "Why? Mr. Garcia has been nothing but kind to us these past few years. We've known him." Sam whispered back to Han.
Han shrugged and nonchalantly replied. "I just think he's a creep." Sam's brain paused at that logic because it's a shit reason. She softly grasps Han's hand and look her directly in the eye. "No." Whispered Sam, hoping to convey her intent. Han raised a skeptical eyebrow overall, looking confused. "You know people aren't kind without reason, right? I don't know his motivation." Said Han. Sam understands what Han is implying. Han's parents are kind to her because she's Han's only friend, but does the man need a reason to be kind other than being friends with Mr. Frey? "No Han." Sam whispered forcefully to Han, who only shrugs and said. "Fine."
Looking back to the front, she saw the adults slowed down and waved at them to come forward. Sam made her way forward, wondering if they spot the hogs. "Okay girls, the hogs should be somewhere in that area. So, keep an eye open for them." Said Mr. Frey while looking through his binoculars. "Can I shoot first, Dad?" Said Han as her nefarious mood vanished and is replaced with a sweet, wide-eyed innocence directed towards her father. Sam never seen the point, nor was she comfortable of Han manipulating her father. He would do anything for his daughter. She hears Mr. Garcia chuckled and Mr. Frey replied. "Okay, but you have to tell me if you want to take the shot."
Han grins then nods as she walks forwards with haste. Sam quickly made her way to Han's side. "Don't you feel excited Sam?" Said Han with a restraint excitement. Sam was sure Han would bounce around if she can. "The thrill of the hunt is so euphoric." The way Han said it clicked something in her brain, Sam have been reading her friend wrongly. Han does not yearn for the act of killing; she lusts for the hunt. Like it's some sort of game to her, be it hunting animals or thinking of hunting humans. Sam doesn't know if she's intrigued or disturbed. "I hope we find those hogs." Said Sam with a smile at Han, who was looking at her. Happy that she now understands her friend a little bit better, does put a lot of things she says and does into perspective.
They continue walking in silence and scanning the area for signs of the hogs. After a few minutes, she felt Han stopped beside her, causing Sam to look in the direction where Han was looking. Not seeing anything, she shoulders her rifle to see through the scope. It was a mistake to not get a pair of binoculars for this trip. It took her a while, but she spots a big hog eating something on the ground and is quite blended in with its surroundings. She moved her eye away from the scope to gauge the distance and estimate it to be around 800 yards.
Looking back at the brunette who is looking through her rifle's scope in the hog's direction. How the hell did Han spot the animal with just her naked eyes? Sam can barely see it through the covers and from the distance. She sees Han taking a cross ankle sitting position, showing she's going to shoot. "Didn't your dad tell us to call him if you're going to shoot?" Said Sam as she glances toward Mr. Frey, who was around a hundred yards away and is looking in the other direction. "Nah, it will take too long. Can you give me windage?" Han said, without taking her eyes off her target.
There's no point in arguing. She knew Han would never actually do as her dad asked. Giving herself a small shrug, she shoulders her rifle again and looks through the scope to get an estimation. "Wind is 10 mph at 11 o'clock. Range around 750 meters." Said Sam. She hears clicking sounds indicating Han making the adjustments. She sees the hog stops eating and raised its head as if it senses something is watching it. A loud bang shatters the silence, and it took three seconds for the bullet to reach its target. It instantly fell with a clean headshot; the hog did not even know what hit it.
Feeling a sudden rush from the event, she quickly unshoulders the rifle and puts it behind her. She looks at Han who's standing up with a million-watt smile with a handout and the rifle on the other. Sam grins in return, taken away by Han's jubilation, and quickly gives her friend a high five. "By golly, how I miss this feeling." Han said with an intense look in her eyes. That's such an odd comment. As far as she knows, this is the first time Han went hunting. She guesses this is just another quirk.
She hears a pair of footsteps rushing towards their position. It must be the adults. "What happened? What did you shoot?" Mr. Frey said calmly between breaths but with a frowned. They must have sprinted as soon as they heard the shot. "Oh, Dad! You should have seen it! I took out a boar!" Said Han wearing the mask of the excited adoring daughter. That must have worked since whatever was on Mr. Frey's mind vanish and was replaced with the doting father that she always sees. "That's why I said to get me, pumpkin. Now I missed such a once in a lifetime event." Mr. Frey said fondly as he rubs Han's head, who was smiling and leaning into it.
It always fascinates Sam how far Han would go with her facades, because she knows for a fact that Han hates others touching her head unless it's Sam. "Come on dad. Let's see!" Said Han as she jogs forward, leaving everyone. She cracked a grin at that and quickly made her way as well, hearing chuckles behind her. Reaching the hog took them five minutes. She looks at the carcass. "Holy shit, she blew the brains out!" Mr. Garcia exclaimed with a whistle while examining the hog. "I told you she was a crack shot." Mr. Frey said proudly. Sam glances to her right to see Han glaring at Mr. Garcia. Oddly enough, Han didn't scold the man for using a swear word must be because she already dislikes him. She softly grabs Han's hand, who broke her glare to smile at her.
"How about you girls go continue hunting while we field dress this hog?" Mr. Frey said as he kneels and takes a knife out from the bag. It would be interesting to see what he does, but she felt Han pull her hand. "Alright Dad, I'm sure there're some hogs down east that way." Han points the over to the other tree line. "Okay, I'm trusting you both to be safe." Mr. Frey said with a kind smile.
They quickly departed, the adults making their way towards their next destination. As they walk in silence, she noticed is Han was no longer basking in the afterglow of her kill and was now completely focused on the current hunt. It made Sam curious about the earlier rush she felt. Was it excitement or joy? She needs to replicate it again. "Can I take the next one?" Asked Sam. She hears a snort to her right and her friend said. "Obviously, you're going to take the next one. Sharing is caring, remember?" She doesn't even have to look to know Han is smirking. Sam gave a friendly shoulder bump at her friend.
"What does it feel like? Taking the shot." Sam inquired. Han started to tilt her head left and right in wonder for a minute before answering. "I don't really know how to describe it. Calm, maybe? I didn't really feel much of anything when I was aiming at the hog. But after seeing the prey going down, it was like a levee being broken and it released a flood tide of pleasure that had been building up from hunting it." What an odd way to describe that feeling. Sam was sure she had felt something similar before. The satisfaction when she solves a computer or programming related problem that's been challenging her for a while. Not knowing what to add to the conversation, she lets a comfortable silence envelop them as they continue walking.
They've been walking at least two miles now, and she still has spotted nothing. Sam is starting to lose hope until felt Han stopped walking. She quickly uses the scope to scan the horizon that Han is looking at. Took her a while, but less than 700 yards away she spots a hog, semi-hidden by the tall grass. She is perplexed again on Han's unnatural ability to spot the animal with no aid, so she asked. "How the hell did you spot that thing?" Han gave Sam a look of disapproval and said. "Tut-tut. No swearing Sam. Honestly, that man is such a bad influence I should shoot him."
Sam let out a groan of bewilderment at that conclusion. She barely talks to Mr. Garcia to get influenced by him. Han's just looking for a reason to shoot him. She shook her, everyone in school says these words casually. Well, everyone except for Han who's a puritan, a criminal atheist puritan, as bizarre as that sound. A shit-eating grin forms on Han's face when she answers. "And how I spot the thing? Well, I can smell it because it stinks." Only response she could conjure is giving her friend a vacant stare who chuckled as if it's the response she wanted. "I have a perceptive eye, Sam. You'll get it as well when you're older." Said Han in an encouraging tone. What the hell does that even mean? She's only seventeen months younger than Han.
Knowing she won't get an answer from a playful Han, Sam places herself on the ground to take a cross ankle position that she's been learning for the past couple of years. Placing her arms in a supportive position, she looks down the 8x scope to her target. The hog is still eating something on the ground, ignorant of its impending doom. "You're lucky, no wind value. Range 600 meters." Said Han. She adjusts the elevation of her scope without letting the target out of sight. Should she aim for the brain like Han did previously, but she's not confident about downing it in one shot or should she aim somewhere else? "You can aim at its heart and lungs, just shoot it multiple times. It's located just above the whatever the pig equivalent of an elbow." Said Han, as if she knew what Sam was thinking.
She places the sight reticle on where Han described. Feeling her heart rate increase in a feeling she doesn't quite understand, she does the breathing technique to calm down. She flicked the gun safety off and hold her breath. Three times she squeezes the gun; so focused on the moment that she didn't hear the bang until the last one. She saw through the scope that the hog fell over not long after. Oddly enough, she did not experience what Han described, nor was she disturbed by the act she had done.
Flicking the gun safety back in place, she quickly stood up from her position, only to be engulfed in a hug. They broke off and Sam sees Han beaming at her. She believes she knows the feeling of the rush she felt earlier because she's feeling it now. It's a similar feeling she felt whenever they finished an adventure together or complete something together, a feeling of accomplishment. "Come on, let's go see the corpse." Han said as she grabs Sam's hand and pulling her forwards. She could only laugh at the enthusiasm.
HANNA FREY POV
She feels like she's drowning and falling at the same time. She tries to gasp for air, but nothing came. The more she tries, the more she feels like she's suffocating. It is as if she's choking on ash. The longer it went on, the more it felt like it coated her tongue with ash, it feels like the air was turning into ash in her mouth.
She tries with all her might to stop her fall, but she feels nothing. There's nothing to grab onto, no end to this endless pit she's falling in. She tries to see where she's falling to, but there's nothing to see, just a dark emptiness.
Her chest aches with so much pain it's almost unbearable. She tries to scream but nothing came out from her mouth only the taste of ash lingers. Her heart feels as though it can burst at any moment, it's beating so fast. She feels like she's vomiting, but nothing came out, just the taste of ash remains.
Her head feels like it's being split in half. She tries to hold her head together, but nothing came up as if her hands disappear. She feels helpless in her inability to control the feelings she's having.
This must be a dream, but she never dreams.
This must be a nightmare.
She tries to scream, but nothing came but ashes. She tries to punch herself, but nothing is there.
It is as though she's disappearing, unable to control.
She must be in control again.
She has to wake up.
She needs to wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up!
WAKE UP!
A torrent of fresh air came into her as she bolts up. Regaining her sights, she looks at her surrounding, the moonlight shines in her empty bedroom. Looking down, she saw she's on the floor shaking and her pajamas was drenched in sweat. She feels her hair stuck on her face from the sweat.
She hears nothing but the sound of her hurried heart beats drowning out any sounds around her. She stayed on the floor, trying to regain her senses from everything she experienced. Slowly the sound of heartbeats is replaced with a low ringing sound. She can't think, no coherent thought are formed.
She then feels something, something cold, something empty in her. It's a feeling she's felt before, but one she hasn't felt in almost a dozen years. Something she would only feel after she dies, the feeling of the endless space. But it feels oh so different from what she's used to. Something more nefarious, something that made her feel afraid.
Regaining her ability to think straight and the only thing she can think of is what is happening. She moves her hand to hold her head, feeling her wetness on her face. There are tears on her face. She doesn't know if it happened before or after she regained consciousness. She tries to steady her breathing.
She knows she's still alive; she is still in this reality. So why? Why can she feel this different cold endless void if she's alive? Did that asshat cause this? Did it let her have eleven years of peace and happiness only to rip it away from her? Did something happen to Sam? Is that why she has this feeling?
She moved her hands away from her face to look at it. It's still shaking uncontrollably. She doesn't have the energy to stand up, so she continues sitting on the floor. The sound of ringing continues to grow louder.
The only conclusion she can think of in her delirious state is that the asshat pulled the rug under her. "What a motherfucker."