Reclining on her seat and her legs up on the desk where her ThinkPad T30 sits, paying some Dixie Chicks songs through its subpar speaker. She looks upon the multitude of blank monitors in her safe house in Midtown. Today is an auspicious day, the day when an artificial eye shall be opened to the world.
"Let there be light." Su said into the empty room.
Like a flick of a switch, every monitor in front of her came of life. Each monitor has their own distinct perspective that they are displaying. Views of people walking about, going on with their lives, views of cars being stuck in traffic, views of people working in their office, insurmountable number of views for a single human being to comprehend.
"And there was light."
Despite the horrible experiences of questioning her reality in the past ten months, Su couldn't help but crack a small smile in satisfaction at what she was looking at. With this as Sue's eyes as well as phones and radios as Sue's ears. She doesn't have to rely on her senses whenever she has those episodes and put her trust in Sue's senses.
"Let's go through all the feeds." Su said while she drinks the hot water from the desk.
"We have access to New York, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington D.C., Chicago and Boston. I will add additional cities when available."
The monitors flicked through videos from each city as Sue says out the names of each city. When available? She guesses the contractors that are doing the tapping require more time.
"How's the contractor clean-up going?"
"The first two teams have been silenced, while the other teams are on schedule to be removed."
She hums in content with the answer. With the Sue having access to the CCTV feeds, it's time for her to test the updated surveillance module. Let's see if the new facial recognition system works, but who should she test first?
Ah!
"Find me Pauling." Su said as she spins her chair side to side.
"Miss Pauling is currently on a job in New Mexico, and we don't have feeds in that city yet." Sue said, sounding sassy.
Oh… she forgot Pauling is out of state and what's up with the sass? She's been emoting her voice more and more in the past few months. It might just be that Sue is trying to sound more natural.
She shrugs off the contemplation and said. "Okay… How about the New York DA?"
Su has no idea who is the current DA, nor did she actually care who he is, but he should be somewhere in the city.
"The DA is currently having lunch with the Chief of Police in Delmonico's. Would you like to know their order?" Sue said in less than ten seconds.
Su snorted at that question. Looks like the surveillance module works perfectly.
"It's been 20 hours since your last meal and you only ate a piece of apple. You should go eat there to celebrate your birthday. I hear that the steaks today are excellent. Maybe go to Keens? It is nearer to our location."
It's been 20 hours since she last ate? Time sure flies and today is her birthday? She looked at the date on her laptop and saw it was indeed the 1st of April. How old does that make she now? 26? It's been 12 years since she left Sam… and she still has nothing to show for it…
She shook her head. There's no reason to think of such things.
After telling Pauling her name, she has been hounding her on when her birthday for a couple of years, so she could give her cake and celebrate, but is it even worth celebrating? It's not like she could appreciate what she consumes anymore since she lost her sense of taste a while back and celebrating her day of birth for this body doesn't seem interesting without Sam.
"I'm not hungry yet… maybe later." Su muttered.
She looked away from the monitors; it felt like Sue was judging her through the webcam that's on the desk. Not that Sue could actually judge her… she doesn't have the ability to do that… or so she thinks…
"Is there any progress on tapping into the NSA camera feeds?" Su asked, trying to distract herself.
Having direct access to the NSA feeds would be so much easier compared to individually tapping each city camera feeds but that would introduce a single point of failure which she would like to avoid if necessary. So, she had Sue continue with both methods of tapping, since having redundancies is always good.
"Progress is being made in trying to exploit the backdoor."
Hmmm… Using the camera data links to the NSA as a backdoor would allow Sue to gain access without physical intervention, but that pulls away from her fun of breaking into the NSA.
"It looks like Samantha Groves has resurfaced in Chicago."
What?
Su quickly bring her legs down from the desk and sat up on the chair properly to look at the monitor that Sue has used to show the video feed of where a woman was walking on the sidewalk. Sue's facial recognition is correct, that is Sam if she remembers the latest fake driver license Sam created last year.
She just kept staring at the screen. Even in the low-quality image of the video, she can see how much Sam has changed. Sam's hair has gone from long dirty blonde to a darker shade of brunette. Since the first time she saw those fake driving licenses Sam made for herself when she turned 18, Su wondered if she dyed her hair to that color or did it change naturally. Looking at Sam passing by the people on the sidewalk, she can see that Sam has grown quite tall. Was she wearing heels? How much has she missed?
Su shakes her head to stop her from thinking of such an unnecessary topic.
Tracking down Sam even with the aid of an AI has been a pain. She just has the knack of disappearing from everything and late turning up in some other city for one of her jobs. That made Su incredibly proud of Sam's ability, but it didn't change the fact that it's annoying to keep track of her friend.
Unless there's a way for her to put a GPS tracker on one of Sam's things… That's too simple and dumb. Plus, she can't trust anyone but her to put a tracker on Sam.
She doubts she could continuously keep track of her using Sue's current capabilities and just has to wait until Sam pops up again somewhere in the country to do a job.
…
… What if? It can't be that simple, can it?
It makes sense. Sam has been intentionally or unintentionally following in her footsteps since she killed that guy all those years ago and has been doing jobs under the name Root. There's a chance that Sam would figure out who runs CSS, even with that added risk. At least Sue can monitor where Sam is all the time that way.
There is a problem where Sam might not even be interested in joining at all with how independent she has been for the past nine years. None of Su's contacts seemed to have met with Sam's alias and her primary method of finding jobs is through reputation as well as the internet. Might take a bit of convincing, but Sam would come around in time.
"Hey Sue, continue to track Sam and make sure to not lose her. We're going to recruit Sam into CSS… Well, Pauling is going to do most of the talking." Su said as she kept looking at the monitor where Sam was in.
Let's hope that Pauling can convince Sam… Maybe she could guilt trip Sam into joining. She has an effect on people after a certain amount of exposure.
"Adding a new task to Miss Pauling's already growing pile of tasks."
Su rolled her eyes at Sue's unnecessary comments on Pauling's workload. Sure, stuff has been a tad busy lately with the whole war on terror shtick. If Pauling thought she had too much work, she would have told her immediately.
FRANCINE PAULING POV
"… I do hope that you would consider my request." A voice said through her earpiece and the other end ended the call as Francine dragged a body to the other stacks of bodies in the middle of the room.
Well, that was certainly an interesting request from Carl. Putting down the body with the rest of the others. Francine stops to think if she should even agree with the request. Carl not only asked for an in-person meeting which he never asked before, but he even asked for such a kooky thing that would cost him a ton of money. She's honestly stumped by the request, not that she never says no to a request from a client when it's reasonable. It's just that no one has ever asked for something like that before this.
Should she call the administrator? She has never needed to do that before… She wonders what the administrator's reaction would be like…
Oh, what is she even thinking about? The administrator probably already knew what they talked about on the call; she knows what Francine is doing most of the time. It's like she can see her everywhere and anywhere. If she didn't trust the administrator completely, such a thing would really be creepy.
The sound of moaning broke her train of thought. Huh… they shouldn't be making noises anymore. Francine looked in the direction of the moaning and silence came back into the room after she shot at the person with her trusty pistol. After giving every body a once-over just to be safe, she made her decision.
Removing the glove from her right hand, she grabbed her PDA and unlocked it to make the call. Even though it was the dead of night in New York, the administrator answered her call almost immediately.
"Heyya! I hope I didn't bother you, but did you listen to what Carl asked?" Francine asked as she walks towards one of the bodies in the pile and replaced the phone in her hands with a really sharp shears from her handbag.
"Please stop using that phrase. That song was mundane." The administrator said with her usual bland voice that only caused Francine to roll her eyes.
Francine couldn't help but shook her head at that response. That was a wonderful song, the administrator is just sour that it became popular. Francine doesn't want to debate the merits of certain music with the administrator again, so she asked. "So, what did you think about the request?"
"Make the arrangement for the meet and I will be joining as well." The administrator replied after a minute of silence.
Huh… That came out of left field. The administrator never came along for any in person meeting. What changed? Or was there something that piqued the administrator's interest? There's no doubt that Carl is an interesting mobster. Most of them are flashy, talk loudly and like to flaunt their wealth, but Carl doesn't do any of that. He has a very kind personality and is soft spoken whenever they chat on the phone.
She gave herself a self-reassuring shrug. The administrator must have come up with a plan and who is she to doubt the administrator?
"Okay, I'll set it sometime next week. Where do you want the meet to be at?" Francine said as she put away the bloody shears and gloves to take out her PDA again.
"Cherry Hill." The administrator replied and hung up the phone.
Central Park? Cherry Hill has that amazing spot by the lake where she can see that safe house on the tower off in the distance.
Oh!
That's why the administrator wants it to be there. Is she going to assign Virgil to be in that tower as overwatch? That's smart! By the lake is the perfect spot for the meet, especially when it's a cloudless summer day. Not that she thinks it's necessary, since Carl has always been nice to talk to on the phone.
Carl might not like the meeting place since it's not the most neutral ground in the city, with HR and the other mobs prowling around that area, but he might ease up about it with how public the area is. Not that his opinion matters when the administrator already decides the location.
Francine scrolled down the contact lists on her PDA and pressed on the name Carl Elias.
Nothing playing right now is interesting, which causes her current predicament of constantly pressing the button to change the radio channel while she waits in the car for the administrator in front of her West Village safe house. She pressed the CD button in the hopes that she might have left something in there, but it turned up empty.
Ah! She completely forgot she bought a new CD album last night. The number of jobs has been piling up so much that in the past year, it must have taken a toll on her if she forgot what she did last night. Should she take a break after this? The administrator did tell her in the past that she can take as much time as she wants for vacations, but so far in her life as the administrator's assistant, she hasn't taken a single day off and she's proud of it! How could she when the administrator never stops working? It would be bad on her part to be slacking off!
…
…
Though it has been a tiring year… Maybe she could ask for a day or two.
Taking the new album CD from her handbag, she popped it into the CD player and played the song just as the administrator entered the backseat of the car.
She turned her head with her body to give the administrator a shining smile and said. "Good morning, Ma'am! Had a good sleep, I hope."
Looking at the administrator wearing her usual lighter shade of pink dress and trousers with her hair neatly braided up, projecting a façade of normalcy onto anyone that looked at her. However, Francine would be blind as a bat if she did not notice how every time they met up, the administrator looked iller in the past nine months, and today isn't any better. Looks like she stayed up all night doing work.
There must be a good reason as to why the administrator hasn't told Francine about what's going on with her. Maybe the administrator doesn't want to give her additional burden on top of everything she has on her plate right now? Because that would be such a kind thing for the administrator to do!
Somehow, there must be something she could do to help just a little bit. Like a fountain of water being turned on for the first time in the day, she just had an eureka moment for a fun idea!
They should totally go on a vacation together! A double vacation! It would be like those double dates she went on, but so much better and fun. It would be great for the administrator's skin and healthy to have a break once in a while, especially under a hot tropical sun! Not that she knows what the tropical sun feels like, but everyone has a good opinion on it. Just gotta ask her after today's meeting.
The administrator gave a small smile and said, "I slept like a baby. Come on, don't want to be too late, do we? There's traffic at midtown right now."
It was always puzzling how she knows where there's traffic in the city, but there's always traffic in Midtown. So, she nodded in acknowledgment and started driving towards their destination.
"Do you want to go watch a movie again?" The administrator said wistfully, causing Francine to snap her eyes in the rearview mirror to look at her boss, who was just staring out her window with her head on her palm.
This is the first time the administrator ever asked her! It's always been her that has to drag the administrator to watch a movie. She just knew that the administrator always liked to watch movies, just that she never had someone to watch it with. This just made her day!
"That would be awesome! What do you want to watch?" Francine replied as she focused back on the road. She really doesn't want to ruin this mood by accidentally knocking someone.
She can hear the administrator tapping her fingers on the door armrest before saying. "I don't even know what movies are there right now."
That's good! It means she just wants to spend more time enjoying movies. Let's see what movies there are to watch… They watched the latest Harry Potter movie last week.
Got it!
"Wanna watch Spiderman 2? It's coming out in a few days, or we could wait a bit longer and watch Mean Girls?" Francine said as she stops the car to let the people cross the road.
"What's a mean girl?" The administrator said, sounding confused.
"A movie about high school drama and bullying!" Francine said smilingly as she continued to drive.
She really wants to watch that movie since she never got to go to high school before becoming the administrator's assistant. She always wondered what it would be like going to one. Was it like middle school? If so, it's a good thing she went on that puzzle adventure all those years ago.
That caused the administrator to look at her through the rear-view mirror with a look of disgust and said. "Pass on that high school show. Let's go with your first suggestion, although I don't remember much of the first movie."
How could she forget that movie? It was such a fun romp. Not wanting to have the administrator at a disadvantage when they watch the sequel, Francine begins to explain the entire plot of the first movie while they're stuck in traffic in midtown.
She was able to finish recounting the plot of the first movie by the time she parked the car at the side of the roundabout at Cherry Hill overlooking the Lake to the right. Looking out at the lake from her position, she can see it's a beautiful day for a walk in the park and it looks like Carl is there with Anthony. They really look like cute friends when they walk together by the lake like that.
Turning off the car and she was about to get out to meet Carl when she noticed the administrator didn't move at all and was just staring out the window.
"Are you not coming as well, ma'am?" Francine said, sounding more confused than worried.
The administrator hummed and said. "No, you go on. I'll just talk on the phone."
Huh?
What's with the change of plan? Looking closer, she sees the administrator is gripping the armrest hard. She can't be nervous, can she? Nah, that's too out of this world for the administrator to feel. Maybe this has always been the plan.
She gave the administrator a nod and started up the car again before making her way towards the two mobsters.
Closer she got to the two, she noticed their clothes. They're wearing matching color clothes! It's almost like her and the administrator. How could Anthony wear a black leather jacket in this heat?
Francine stopped just behind the two and gave them a quick check, noticing that only Anthony had a hidden gun under his belt. Better keep her hands behind her back near to her knives if things get dicey. With a smile and a little too much gusto, she said. "Hey Carl!"
The two men quickly spun around to face her with surprised on their faces and Anthony's hand reaching for his hidden gun.
"Your scar looks way more cooler than in the pictures dude!" Francine cooed as she leans in closer into Anthony's personal space, causing the man to lean away from her with a perturbed look in response.
A hand appeared in front of her, making her look towards the person who was offering the hand who said with a calm voice. "You must be Miss Pauling. It is nice to finally put a face to the voice."
With a smile that never left her face, she shook the offering hand with vigor and said. "Nice to meet ya!"
Ooh, his grip is strong despite having a meek appearance. Anthony seemed to have calmed down from being surprised with his hand moving away from his hidden gun and now is just giving her a confused look as she continues to shake Carl's hand.
"I must say that I did not expect you to be so… young." Carl said calmly with a kind-amused smile as she continues to shake his hand and doesn't seem to be put off by her. Why does everyone she meets while on the job like to point out she's young? She's 22 this year! She can legally drink alcohol now!
Francine stopped shaking his hand to put both of her hands on her hip and said. "Aren't you young to lose all of your hair?"
Dang, that comeback is kinda lame. He's like twice her age, of course he's already balding.
Thankfully, Carl didn't make fun of her. He just chuckled and put his hands up in mock surrender, saying, "I meant no disrespect, only voicing my curiosity since you sound so different on the phone, and I assume you already know about my associate."
That was kinda rude of her to say she should at least apologize, but the administrator always said that she shouldn't show weakness by apologizing, so she just nodded and said. "We just have to wait for the administrator to call before we can talk."
Carl and Anthony shared a look with each other before Carl said. "The administrator? I had assumed you were the head of your organization."
Francine gave them a knowing smile, and right on cue, her PDA rang. She knew the administrator had been listening, and she had always had a flair for the theatricality ever since they first met.
She grabbed her phone from her purse and pressed the speaker button.
"No, Mr. Elias, that would be me." The administrator said in her distorted feminine voice.
Carl looked intrigued by the situation and kept smiling while he said. "You seemed to have me at a disadvantage miss…"
"Your proposal intrigues me. Tell me, how would you afford to keep CSS under retainer and a non-compete agreement? We have a lot of clients in New York, and most of them are your competitors."
Francine glanced up the hill at the car, and she saw the window was partially open, only showing the dark outline of the administrator. Carl gave her a small frown and nodded as he says. "Think of it as an investment into the future. The current way of doing things is dying and the families aren't adapting to the times. When the time comes, I will remove the families that run this city and take control. As capo di tutti i capi."
That's a nice sales speech! If it were her decision, she would agree to this already. The other mobsters aren't as nice or polite as Carl. What would the other gangs or HR do if Carl takes over? Unless Carl does it perfectly, there's going to be a power vacuum.
A loud snort came out from the phone, causing Anthony to frown, but Carl continued to smile.
Please don't insult him… It's going to be awkward standing here if that happens.
"He says it's about the future and yet he cites an old title." The administrator gave a dramatic pause before continuing. "Tell me the real reason to why you want to take over."
"Do I need any other reason that I think I can do better? The power and money is a pleasant bonus." Carl said with his hands interlocking with each other and looking directly at Francine.
"Scoff… Please don't lie. We both know that isn't your real motivation."
Francine continues to smile while the administrator tries to push Carl's button. She isn't sure what's the plan is, but she trusts the administrator isn't putting her in harm's way.
"I'm not sure what you're implying, but my intentions are quite direct." Carl said with his hands in his pockets. Looks like he's closing himself off…
"If we want to go forward with this agreement, we must have trust and mutual understanding. Can't have that if it's built on lies." Said the administrator, somehow sounding bored.
That seems to have done the trick to get a reaction from Carl.
"Alright, you got me. I'm doing this for revenge, for what they did to me in the past, and I think they are all rats deserve what's coming at them." Said Carl, while he continues to maintain his calm demeanor.
Ooh… A revenge story. How spicy! How did the administrator know about that?
"Aren't you missing one tiny detail against one family in particular?"
Carl's smile went away and replied. "Which is? Do humor me, as you seem to know everything."
Oh, dear… The administrator is going to threaten them, isn't she? Should she reach for her knives just in case? Anthony seems to be going for his pistol again.
"Don't play coy with me, Mr. Elias. I could have you, Mr. Marconi there, and Mr. Moran be liquidated by the end of the day if I choose so."
She really didn't have to threaten them… Francine would have sighed right now, but it would look like she isn't agreeing with what the administrator is doing, so continues to smile at the frowning Carl while she reaches for her knives at her back. She wonders who Moran is. Is he someone important to Carl or to his organization or him personally? Seems so with the frown on his face when the administrator mentioned him.
Anthony really didn't take that threat lightly, with him quickly reaching for his hidden pistol and that pissed off look on him. Not that he could draw it faster than her throwing the knife into his throat if he tried. She would like to avoid such a situation with this many witnesses, but she will do what needs to be done.
Thankfully for everyone, Carl stopped Anthony from drawing his pistol by putting his hand on Anthony's and addressed everyone in his calm voice. "There's no need for violence right now."
Carl turned his body towards the car and gave half a shrug with his hands as he says. "There's no point in hiding anything from you, is there? Yes, I am going to kill my father, Don Gianni and my brother as well if he doesn't back down."
Wait… Carl only had a mother, and she was killed when he was young. Did that mean his father killed his mother? That explains the revenge. Dang, that's just sad and not spicy.
Francine gave a look of sympathy to Carl. Papa always said that family should never quarrel and here she is in front of a man who wants to kill his own father.
A loud chortle came out from her PDA and the administrator amusingly said. "Well, isn't that biblical? A son going to commit patricide and fratricide to avenge a femicide."
It really impressed her that Carl was as cool as a cucumber right now and maintaining his smile, but she could see that the administrator was grinding his gears.
"I'm glad that you're finding the circumstances humorous. Now that the foundation is clean, what say you about the arrangement?" Carl gritted it out with his ever-present smile.
"I never cared about the money, and you will bring some chaos into this city, so yes, I agree to it. CSS will withhold from accepting any jobs we get from the families and its allies in NYC, but that does not count the other organizations in the city. In addition, CSS can't accept all of your job request since we do not want to be seen as a bias towards your organization."
Carl looked less tense and response with a nod. "Those terms are acceptable."
"One more thing, we aren't your subordinates, nor are you our equals. The day your little conquest is done, this arrangement is null and void. Do remember, I can have you and your friends dead anytime I want."
Francine received a glare from Carl that would have caused someone else to yelp in fright, and he said. "Duly noted."
The administrator ended the call with a final, "Good luck~."
Francine gave Carl a sheepish smile and put away her PDA as she says. "Well, if you need anything, you can just contact me whenever and I don't think the administrator will contact u again."
Carl gave her a nod and said. "Your boss is certainly a character."
"I know, right? She's the best! See you when I see you." Francine waved at a cool-looking Carl and an angry-looking Anthony as she walked back to the car.
As she sat back in the driver's seat, she saw the administrator holding the CD album that they were listening to on the drive here.
"Do you like it?" Francine asked as she took the car out of the roundabout.
The administrator gave her a hum and said. "They're interesting."
She seems to be in a better mood. This is the best time to ask, so with a giant smile, she asked. "Do you want to go on a vacation?"
SU POV
The autumn sun was slowly setting as Su drove on the Capital Beltway and was engaged in a one-sided, contentious phone call with Miss Pauling. All the while, there was a low buzz at the back of her head.
"Go deal with it." Su ended the call and feeling incredibly pissed off right now.
She shouldn't have taken it out on Pauling, but she just felt so frustrated right now. Another fruitless attempt to fix her problem flopped and now she needs to cover the mess that was left behind.
Su is gripping hard on the steering wheel, causes a ticklish feeling on her fingers as she weaves past all the cars on the road, feeling her heat pumping faster and faster with every car she passes.
"I think you should take a break, Su." Sue said in a worried tone.
"Screw you! There's nothing wrong. I need to do something right now. I just need to find it!" Su retorted while focusing on the crowded road.
"You need to calm down, Su."
But what does she need to do? She already asks Pauling to clean that house.
Now what?
She tried everything she could think of, and nothing seemed to work. Time was always something she thought she would always have, but now she don't think she has that much left with how bad her issue had been.
Where is she even driving towards?
What is she trying to find?
The hard feeling of the steering wheel became soft like she's gripping slime and the lights of the cars became so bright that it hurts her eyes. The same goes with the light from the setting sun.
Oh… it's acting up again.
It just has to be now.
Well, she isn't going to stop driving because she can't trust what her eyes are showing her. What's the point of stopping right now?
Not like it matters.
Heck, what she's doing right now might not be real. Did she even have that call with Pauling earlier?
Was she even driving right now?
She can't be driving right now… because there's no one else driving the other cars…
Flashes of light keep passing her as she 'drives' forwards.
Those aren't cars, they just look like one, but it ain't. Cars isn't supposed to be driving by themselves in this world.
Why can't that sound in her ear stop talking?
Shut up, shut up. Shut up!
Yeah, this isn't real. She must find it.
She isn't driving right now.
Is she back in NC? Is that why the 'cars' can drive themselves? How did she even get back there? Did she die again?
Why are there shapes in those 'cars'?
She needs to find it.
Are they driving the blobs?
Red lights, red lights everywhere.
The noise in her ear keeps distracting her!
What is this?
Find what?
Is she even right here, right now?
Where is she? Is she on the road?
Her world became blindingly bright and the sound in her ear shouted at her before everything became dark.
Pain and discomfort were the only thing she felt right now. Well, mostly just pain, pain on her left side.
It's quiet here. There's only the sound of the AC and the muted sounds of footsteps.
Slowly she opens her eyes, and slowly her eyes adjust to the light.
She's in a white sterile room with a big window shining light into the room to the left side of the room. It's a hospital room… she's in a hospital.
What happened?
She looked down at her body but she couldn't see much as most of it was under the blanket and only her left arm was exposed, showing her it's in a cast. That explains why the pain and why she couldn't move her left arm.
She removed the blanket with her right hand, exposing her to the rest of her injuries. The people who treated her wrapped her left leg and pelvic region in a tight, compressed dressing. Looks like most of the damage is on her left side.
Did she get into an accident?
Last she remembered was driving her car, then…
Then her issue popped in to say hello.
She must have crashed her car while experiencing that issue.
How long was she out of it? There's nothing in front of her that shows the date, and the TV is off.
Su needs to connect with Sue; her phone must be nearby.
The sound of a phone buzzing on her right caught her attention. Sue must have noticed that she was awake. Looking at the direction of the buzz, she sees an enormous bouquet of begonia and tulips sitting on the side table with a card on it.
'Get well soon! PS. Everything is taken care of. Love F. Boole.'
A small smile grew on her lips at the choice of flowers. Looks like Pauling stopped by when she was out.
At the base of the bouquet lies her buzzing phone with her earpiece beside it, and with a herculean effort, she reached out to grab the earpiece while ignoring the sharp pain in her chest.
"Hey Sue." Su said in a dry, rough voice.
"Hey Su. Took you a while to wake up. It's been four days."
That's not good but not the worst she could remember experienced.
"What happened?" Su asked as lays back into her pillow and she stares up into the ceiling.
"You continued to drive for 13 minutes after you started your episode. You exited I495 and drove through a red light. Another car hit your car at the side, causing you to lose control and hit the traffic light."
That's a lot of stuff that went down.
"You experienced fractures to your sternum, pelvis, femur, as well as your radius and ulna were broken, which required surgical intervention."
Basically, she got off with light injuries in an event that could have killed her. She let out a gruff chuckle that caused unnecessary pain in her chest. Isn't she just lucky? Blessed with continuing this suffering life.
Why is she even continuing?
Even if she could fix whatever that's causing her to have these episodes, she doubts she could find what she needs for the void. It's such a Sisyphean task, nothing's working.
So… what's the point?
"Hey Su?"
She hums in reply, not having the strength to talk right now.
It's not like it matters if she dies, she just starts all over again.
"You may not like what I've got to say. May I say it?"
Again, she replied with a hum. Since when did Sue ever ask for permission to speak? Not like she ever censor whatever Sue says, unless Sue created some kind of self-censorship. Why would she even self-censor herself?
"Taking into account over the past few years of Su experiencing these derealization episodes and cross-referencing with the DSM-IV-TR. With a high confidence level, Su might suffer from a form of dissociative disorder that is triggered by stress."
…
What?
Is her AI telling her she's a nutter? She would have laughed and yelled at how absurd the situation she was in right now, but she couldn't because deep down she knew Sue was right. Her episodes isn't caused by the void but her wretched human brain.
So, what should she do now?
"It is not in my function to provide with a medical diagnosis, but from all the medical literature I've analyzed, the best course of action for Su to pursue is to remove the cause of the stress."
Oh, that's such a simple solution. All she has to do is to remove the stress. Thank you!
She doesn't even know what's causing the stress.
"Do you know how?" Su said with such a pathetically small voice.
"I am unable to provide a solution. I would recommend using a qualified professional to assist in recovering."
She let out a scoff at the mere suggestion of asking some other human for help. She is not going to the funny farm; it's not meant for her. No, she can figure this out herself or maybe create a module so Sue could provide a solution.
If it's stress that causes her these episodes, what causes the stress?
What is stress? Mental strain? Worry? Anxiety?
Is going out doing field jobs stressful? She had multiple episodes while doing such jobs, but she generally enjoyed going out and liquidating some people. Is it the loud noises when a shoot out happens that cause her to have mental strain or is it just loud noises?
Anger causes her to experience these episodes, but the only time she gets angry is when she has missteps, or someone screws up her plans.
Whenever her heart rate gets high, she would also get the episodes. What the heck does the heart rate have to do with stress or mental strain?
A lot of the time, she would experience those episodes for no apparent reason. It would come when she's not doing anything in particular. How does stress factor into those scenarios?
There's so many things that caused her to have these episodes, but none of them are the root cause of her stress.
…
Root cause…
Root.
It can't be, can it?
Looking back, she started having this issue almost four years ago, not long after the news of Sam leaving Bishop. Can't be that simple, can it? Why would Sam cause her stress? Has she been ignoring her concern about Sam the whole time?
What was the concern?
Why would she be concerned about Sam?
Is she worried that Sam would reject her the longer she takes to figure out what she needs to do for the void?
No… it can't be that.
The timing matches perfectly with when she started having this issue and she can't think of another reason that's causing this. Sam is the root cause of her stress even if she can't pinpoint the reason as to why she causes the stress. Could it be that Sam had always been her anchor?
But what's certain is that she can't go on living like this… it's going to kill her sooner or later if she continues.
Maybe it's time for her to reunite with Sam… even if it risks her losing Sam to the void.
It's such a simple thing for her to contact Sam again since she joined CSS and yet…
"Sue…"
"Yes?"
…
"Nothing…"
Maybe not now… she's not decent right now.
What kind of impression would that show if Sam finds her broken in some hospital after 14 years apart?
Yeah… she can contact Sam later.
Maybe it could be a surprise.
Yes, that sounds better.