For You

by KaiAtlantis

28 year old Artemis comes back from Mars hungry for success over his discoveries, but his plans are thwarted when Fowl Senior strips him of the family fortune. Torn between choosing his work or friendships, Artemis must find the balance to life before he loses the one shot he's hoped for. A/H. A/M, H/T, A/OC (brief)

5. Ep 4 Stripped

TRIGGER WARNING:

This chapter will contain difficult conversations around suicide, deal with suicidal ideation, and parental neglect. If this content disturbs you, please read at your own risk. Thank you.

This chapter contains explicit language and elements of PTSD.

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Thank you to my wonderful betas!

PhoenixPyres

NeverOutOfTime

TheFowlestOfThemAll

JasonBall34

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Dalkey Island, Ireland

Villa Éco

The peach sun was almost completely up in the horizon by the time Artemis and Holly arrived at the villa's massive French doors. The spring Irish air was crisp and cool, the chilly, dawn breeze rolling in grey storm clouds from beyond the sea.

Holly huddled her arms into her hoodie as she waited for Artemis to unlock the doors. She curled down into her pockets, both cold and anxious about what was to come. She knew Angeline was expecting them, but what she expected the Fowl matriarch to ask of her put pits in her stomach. I guess now is as good as ever.

The doors clicked unlocked and Artemis walked in without a word, Holly following him silently. She gazed around the foyer and entrance as Artemis put his coat on a rack. The foyer was modeled after a greenhouse, like much of the villa, allowing heavy, grey light to stream in from the frosted windows as they passed into the main entrance. Glass stairs circled around a tall oak tree in the center of the clean, white room, green plant tendrils dangling off the glass balcony above.

Holly spun in a slow circle as she squinted at the skylight above. "I'm still in awe of the new place, by the way. I notice something new every time I stop by."

"And how often is that?" Artemis chuckled, strolling past her towards the kitchen.

"Well, 'cause of your brothers, quite a lot, actually," Holly rolled her eyes. "They're as bad as you."

"It can't be helped," Artemis said with a shrug. "I'm going to make some espresso. Care to join me?"

Holly nodded, following him into the spacious kitchen. And to make her anxiety peak, both Angeline and Artemis Senior were chatting quietly in the corner of the far window, their voices low and hushed.

Angeline noticed them, and tapped her husband's shoulder. The pair turned to Holly and Artemis with a pained smile on Angeline's face.

"Holly, darling! Welcome!" The beautiful woman strode towards the short elf with open arms, taking Holly into her velvet embrace. "How are you? Did your holiday go well?"

Holly noticed Artemis Senior still in the corner, glaring at them with a dark expression on his domineering features. She pursed her lips at his silence before turning her focus back on Angeline. "It was fine, I guess."

"Hello, Mum. Father. I hope you're well," Artemis said awkwardly as he ignored his father's expression. He moved past them towards the espresso machine on the counter.

Before Artemis could reach the jar of grounds however, Artemis Senior stepped forward, the movement smooth with his bio-leg. "Artemis. Come with me, son," he said gruffly, swiftly moving past Holly and Angeline. "We need to talk."

"Of course, father. Allow me to finish a cup and I'll be right over-"

"No, Artemis," the Fowl patriarch interjected, his eyes cold and firm. "My office. Now."

As his father moved sternly past him, the younger Irishman shrugged at Holly, following in his father's footsteps, leaving Holly alone with Angeline in the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Holly asked, an eyebrow raised.

"We have a bit of a situation," Angeline sighed, sitting at the counter wearily. "I think now may be the time for what we talked about. Do you remember all those years ago?"

And Holly did remember. It was something that she dreaded from the moment it was proposed to her. "Yes. I remember." Holly sighed, holding herself inside her hoodie. "Why now? Do you think this is wise?"

"I'm not sure there will be much of a choice," Angeline said with a sad smile. "I know my son. This is what's best for him right now."

"I don't understand how you think I'm gonna get him to agree to it," Holly said, shaking her head in frustration. "He has no reason to come with me. He's going to say no."

Angeline's features fell, a beautifully bleak sort of sadness. "Again, I don't think he has much of a choice at the moment."

"Why?" Holly peered at her closely, and for the first time since meeting Artemis' kind-hearted mother, she was suspicious of Angeline's motives. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Fowl and fairy, Holly," Angeline said, her mouth firm. "Remember that."

"That's not fair to use against me. Don't I get a choice in this?" Holly resisted, taking a few steps forward. "Moving Artemis to Haven will be a lot of work for me. I'm not sure now is the best time for either of us."

"You already agreed to this, Commodore," Angeline sighed. "I know fairies keep their promises. Please keep this one, Holly."

Before Holly could counter her, there was arguing from upstairs, and it seemed to be escalating as it echoed through glass walls. Holly shot a quizzing look at the brunette woman. "What's that about?"

Angeline pursed her lips as if afraid to answer when Holly pushed past her to investigate. "Holly, wait-"

---

Artemis Junior followed the taller man into his father's study on the villa's 2nd floor. Artemis strolled to the center of the study, looking over his father's collections of armor while the Fowl patriarch stopped behind his desk, sorting out some documents.

Artemis the younger took the time to clear his throat. "I am glad you pulled me away, father," he started genuinely, wishing to grow closer to the man. He turned to look at his father's similar blue eyes. "I have not seen much of you since I arrived back to the planet. There are matters I would like to discuss with you."

"I could say the same for you, Artemis," Artemis Senior began, those same piercing, blue eyes unwavering on his son. "Why do you think I've pulled you aside?"

"Is this a trick question?" Artemis replied lightly, moving towards his father freely.

"Sit down." The command was deep and assertive from Artemis Sr. The older man leaned against the desk top, motioning his palm to the white armchair across from him. "Now."

Artemis didn't question his father's words, but also didn't sit down. He stood behind the armchair, fingers tapping the acrylic edge as he eyed the older man carefully. "I'd prefer to stand, if you don't mind. Thank you."

"Do you think I am asking you to a Sunday picnic, son?" Artemis Sr. fumed, straightening his back. "Because I assure you, that is not what this is."

"I'm not sure I'm catching your drift, father."

Artemis Senior's deep, austere eyes were flaming now. "I know about your deal with the Yakuza. I know you met with Sano Masaru."

Artemis smiled guiltily, falling forward slightly in relief. "Ah. You had me worried, father. I was afraid I had lost my deductive capabilities for a moment there."

"Do you think this is a game, Artemis?"

"Sorry?" Artemis wrinkled his brow, genuinely confused.

"Moving their funds into our accounts?" Artemis Senior moved from around his desk, slamming a stack of papers onto the white armchair between them. "What were you thinking? Touching dirty money like that?"

"It's untraceable," Artemis shrugged indifferently. "So, as you can imagine, I'm failing to see the issue. I merely moved funds between various accounts using fairy technology."

"You moved drug and trafficking money into our family accounts," Artemis Senior corrected, lifting a finger. "Whether or not your fairy tech cleans that money is not the issue."

"Then what's the issue, exactly?" Artemis asked calmly, crossing his arms behind his back. Losing his temper in general wasn't an easy task for Artemis, but especially not around his father, as the older Irishman was quite the intimidating figure to the young genius. So, despite his father's increasing agitation, the younger Artemis kept his cool.

"The issue, son, is that it is criminal."

"Criminal?" Artemis nearly chuckled. "Transferring funds that gangsters don't deserve into the accounts of charities that genuinely need them makes me a criminal?"

"Yes," Artemis Senior insisted, standing his ground firmly. "It's not our money, morally or legally."

"I apologize, father," Artemis interrupted, unable to keep a slick smile off his face. "But I don't share your perspective. And besides, no harm will come from this. We are entirely protected. You see, I designed this parasite to sit and collec-"

"Enough!" Artemis Senior barked, jamming a finger onto the desk. "This is precisely why I've removed you from the family accounts, indefinitely. This includes your own personal accounts."

"What?" Artemis laughed, actually unsure if this was an elaborate trick. "Come now, father. I know you and Beck are close, but I never imagined you were one for pranks."

"I am not joking, Artemis," Artemis Senior declared with such an icy glare that it stopped his son in his tracks. "Go on. Check."

"What?" Artemis asked again in disbelief. "You didn't-?" He pulled out his phone and attempted to access his bank accounts. Each of them rejected his log in. Artemis blinked, nearly laughing again. "Even if you're entirely serious, you know I can simply hack into my own account, correct? This isn't a challenge for me, father."

"Exactly. And I am going to do something with you that I did with your brothers long ago." Artemis Senior walked over to a large bay window, gazing at the grey fog rolling in from the icy coast. "You most certainly can hack into any account, I can't stop that. And you most certainly can hack into mine, or your brothers', or your own; the point is that you won't."

"I won't?" Artemis raised an inquisitive brow. "And why not?"

"Because I said you won't." Artemis Senior turned, peering at his son. "And you're going to obey that."

Artemis smiled, though it wasn't in good spirits. He was irritated now, his brow twitching. "That's slightly amusing, coming from you."

Artemis Senior suddenly felt the tugging of nerves itching in his bio-leg. He patted it subconsciously as his stress increased. "This is amusing to you, is it? You get to act out and think you won't face the consequences for it?"

"Yes, it is amusing. My father thinks he can suddenly start disciplining me as an adult, because he wasn't around to do it when I was a child." Artemis held his tongue, afraid to say anything further. He was already testing the few limits he had, as he knew his father's affections for him were not as deep as they were for the twins.

Artemis Senior moved in close to Artemis Jr., studying his son's familiar features intently. "What makes you think you can speak to me that way?" he growled, fingers curling tightly against the armchair's edge for balance.

"Removing me from my own accounts and requesting that I do not access them is a boundary I can not allow you to cross," Artemis began before his father cut him off with a hand waving through the air.

"Be quiet!" Artemis Senior snapped. "You will show me respect, boy."

Artemis bit his lip and looked away, his fair face burning in frustration.

"Unlike your brothers, you are not a child. You are nearly 30 years old, and therefore, you will be dealt with accordingly," Artemis Senior leaned against the front of his desk, his eyes still fixated on the genius before him. "Getting yourself kidnapped to secure funds. Absolute nonsense."

"The plan was executed perfectly," Artemis argued.

"You could have died!" Artemis Senior thundered, standing straight. "Do you understand how easily they could've killed you?"

"It wouldn't have been the first time," Artemis muttered, crossing his arms.

It was at this moment that Holly and Angeline anxiously eased into the threshold of the room. The two men continued, despite this.

"Do you even understand the pain you've caused this family? Butler?" The patriarch waved a palm over to the petite figure in the doorway. "Your friends? And then you leave for five years and come back like this?"

Artemis glanced over his shoulder at the feminine presence behind him and blushed with embarrassment. He didn't want Holly to see them like this. He turned back to his father coldly. "Can we talk about this later?"

"No. We are settling this now," insisted Artemis Senior, moving back around the desk. "I've already revoked your access to the family accounts, and your own funds have been stripped. In addition, I need you off the estate in the next twenty-four hours."

"This isn't even legal," Artemis protested calmly. "Evict me? From the home I designed myself? On what grounds? Every cent I've earned from my inventions and discoveries is credible and legitimate. You have no right to claim any of my income."

Artemis Senior reached into his documents and slammed one forward. "I have this," he said simply, glaring with hard eyes at his son.

It took Artemis a few moments to recognize the document. His calm exterior shattered, his blue eyes widened. "Where did you find that?" he asked quietly.

"Butler found it on your ship," Artemis Senior grunted. "What was the meaning of it?"

Artemis didn't dare turn to look at his mother or Holly. He locked eyes with his father's instead. "Space is an extremely dangerous place to venture. We nearly died several times. It made sense to write one." Artemis shook his head, moving towards his father. "Regardless, I am not dead, therefore it is not in effect."

"Technically, you are dead," Artemis Senior retorted, sorting through other documents. He pulled out a death certificate and waved it in the air. "This right here proves that."

"I was dead," Artemis corrected, his heart beat racing in his chest. The room suddenly felt hot and he felt a bead of sweat form at his temple. "I am alive. I am speaking with you right now."

"No, Artemis. This is exactly the point I am trying to make." Artemis Senior kept his distance, his broad shoulders tense. "You have gotten yourself into this type of trouble over and over. You are out of control-"

"Out of control?" Artemis grit his teeth; he'd finally had enough. He stepped closer to his father, trying to reason with him. "I have the highest tested IQ in Europe. I am the only human alive to successfully create a spacecraft I built myself, to venture to Mars and bring back hand-picked samples of the planet; I have several awards pending under my name, our family name; I have saved the world more than once, and yet, somehow, I am the one who is out of control?!"

"Yes," Artemis the First said simply as the younger Artemis flustered, worn down from the abrasive conversation. "When you're happy to deal with terrible people for the sake of doing something right? When you have to steal to get what you want? When you have to die for those causes? Yes, damn it, you are out of control."

"I wonder who I learned it from," Artemis shot back, his gaze growing colder. "Do not forget if it had not been for me, or our dear friend, Holly," Artemis threw an open palm towards her, " You, Father, very well may not have been here right now. You left your only child alone so you could run deals with the Russian mafia, and you nearly died from it. But somehow, when I deal with criminals properly, I'm the one who is out of control?"

"You died, Artemis!" Artemis Senior shouted, having had enough. He threw his hands into the air, exasperated. "How else can I hammer this into your head? I know you're a genius, so I know you have the capacity to understand. So, what's not clicking?"

"What's 'not clicking', is you asking me to put my entire life, my entire livelihood, on hold so that you can please your ego as my parental figure," Artemis said, nearly pleading with his father now. "My work is all I have. It's all I am. To claim I'm dead and strip me of all my work, all my credit… it's as barbaric as it is idiotic. I mean, father, what do you want? What do you want from me? When will I ever be enough?"

Artemis was desperate now, nearly forgetting the others in the room. "All I've ever wanted was to please you. To make you proud. To continue our family business like you've always wanted. And now you're punishing me for carrying out that very principle?"

"We are not those people anymore, Artemis!" Artemis Senior interjected. "You know this!"

"Personally, I find it hard to believe that acting as a modern-day Robin Hood warrants this sort of reaction out of you-"

"You, boy," Artemis Senior cut in, "have zero discretion to tell me or any of our family how they should react. You are forbidden from accessing further funds, and you must move out of the villa at once. End of discussion."

"Father, please-" Artemis tried, taking a few steps forward but Artemis Senior waved his hand to stop him. He almost felt like a small boy again. A broken, small boy.

"End. Of. Discussion. Your mother will see you out," Artemis Senior moved back to his desk, stacking the papers on the glass top.

Artemis Jr. was stunned, unsure what to make of all of this. Eventually, he lifted his gaze. "And if I disobey your request?"

Artemis Senior cocked a brow. "It is not a request. You not touching the funds is a command. You are to obey. I am not asking."

"If I am dead to you and you're already removing me from my home, what reason do I have to obey you?"

Artemis Senior stopped his shuffling and looked at Angeline across the room. "Deal with your son, please."

"Oh? Her son?" Artemis snorted. "Not your son, right?"

"Arty. Timmy." Angeline snapped, stepping between them. "Stop this now. Arty, darling, just drop it please. Nothing good will come from your arguing."

Artemis stood bewildered at his mother. "Has nothing I've done in the last decade pleased either of you? Has nothing mattered?" He looked between his parents, dazed. "Please. Listen to me. I hate, honestly hate to argue with the both of you. But I cannot go on without my project. I simply cannot fathom not continuing it. I must deny your command. I am sorry-"

"Oh, stop the theatrics, Artemis," the Fowl patriarch groaned, pinching his nose. "Now, please see yourself out."

Holly desperately wanted to jump in and defend Artemis, but the exchange was so heated and tense she couldn't bring herself to say anything. She felt guilt eat away at her as she watched Artemis, disappointed in herself for being unable to help him.

Artemis, meanwhile, looked between his parents once more, completely defeated. He couldn't believe they were being so dismissive. His heart crackled in his chest. He felt alone, the beginnings of panic starting to intoxicate his ability to think. I wish I stayed dead.

"I'll never be enough, will I?" he considered quietly.

"Arty, we love you, sweetheart. But your father is correct," Angeline said, placing a gentle hand on his cheek. "You are spiraling out of control. Your space trip was risky enough. But now the Yakuza too? What if they come for us now, darling?"

"It's impossible," Artemis shook his head, flustered they weren't understanding. "They have no way to tie it to us. The fairy tech-"

"The fairies are why you died in the first place, Artemis," Artemis Senior grunted from behind them. "You really need to stop relying on them for everything."

"Several times now, you have brought up my death, and yet not offered any sort of sympathy or grief towards me," Artemis quipped, glaring at his father from over his mother's shoulder. "Even when I came back, you refused to try and connect with me. So, what is the real issue you have with me, father? Are you upset that I came back?"

"Arty, stop. That's enough-" his mother tried to start but Artemis side-stepped her to approach his father again.

"-Are you upset that I didn't stay dead? I know you and mother are happier with the twins, without me around. Is that the real reason you want me gone? Because you didn't want me back?"

Before Artemis could continue hammering his father, Artemis Senior snapped up, rage plastered over his dark Irish features. "Yes, Artemis. Yes! Is that what you want to hear?" he barked, throwing his hands up. "I am upset that I didn't get my real son back! I am upset that my firstborn son is dead! My son is now a clone, grown in some laboratory, possessed by a spirit that calls itself Artemis. I am upset that I couldn't do more to stop it, that there is nothing I can ever do to change that, and I refuse to ever allow you to make those kinds of decisions again."

The two men were left glowering at each other: one worn out, the other shattered. Angeline turned on Timmy, yelling something inaudible at him.

Artemis tuned everyone out, only able to hear his own thoughts. He gaped at his father, in disbelief over the patriarch's words. They smashed into him like a freight train. It's all true. I'm not real. This isn't real.

He fell back a few steps, struggling to find his balance in the spinning world. "You… you don't see me as the real Artemis, do you?" His voice trailed off, quiet and beaten. "I'm just a clone to you…"

Artemis Senior realized just then how this sounded and gripped his forehead in regret. "Artemis. Forgive me. I was upset. This has been hard on all of us."

"No. It's fine," Artemis replied, his voice floaty.

Holly peered closer at him: she could tell he was spacing out. "Arty..." She reached out to him.

But he waved a hand at Holly, cutting her off while he kept his steel gaze on his father. "We are done here." He turned swiftly, leaving his parents and Holly in the study to themselves.

Holly looked at his parents as if expecting them to apologize, but they didn't. The elder Fowls avoided eye contact, awkward and silent. Holly shook her head, chasing Artemis out into the hallway. She passed a few glass walls until she caught him on his way to his bedroom.

She walked alongside him briskly, waiting to see if he'd speak to her. When he was silent, she cleared her throat. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Artemis replied numbly, stopping at his door to type in a passcode. When it beeped, he wandered inside, a million thoughts taking grasp of his consciousness at once. He settled on an empty duffle bag, packing the most versatile clothing as quickly as he could muster.

He didn't need to be ordered out; he could make that decision himself. Besides, he didn't wish to intrude on those who had found their lives so much more pleasant without him there. So, where then? He didn't know.

Artemis stopped packing suddenly, staring at a dress shirt in his hands. "If I disobey my father, I may as well never speak to him again. I'm not sure that's worth living a normal life for. I'm not entirely sure what to do at the moment."

I think I'd rather die. He continued packing, finding the activity somewhat soothing.

Holly bit her lip as she stared out of a large French window, watching the icy grey waves hit the rocky shore below. A spectacular view; one he would be sure to miss.

Holly pondered for a bit as he packed. Did Angeline set this up somehow? Is that what she wanted? Was it to guilt Holly into keeping a distraught Artemis in Haven? This bothered the Commodore for several reasons, but mostly because it felt manipulative. Like she was forced into the situation. But she didn't want to deal with the wrath of turning Artemis away either, and a final thought cemented her final opinion. I do get lonely, and we're best friends. It couldn't be that bad, right?

Fuck it.

"Why don't you come to Haven?"

Artemis found the question so surreal, it nearly took him a quarter of a minute to register it. He finished gathering the last of his loafers, his face going through a multitude of emotions as he processed the question. He stepped forward, his dark brows pinched together in befuddlement, and then took a step back. "I'm…not sure that would work."

Holly shrugged, avoiding his face altogether. "Why wouldn't it work?" You suck for doing this. You suuuck. Ah, fuck.

"I am human, most obviously of all," Artemis started, listing off reasons on willowy fingers. "I do not have a visa or permit to stay in Haven, and I highly doubt your commander will provide me with one, and lastly, I don't have any money, Holly. Even if I moved some funds and my father didn't notice, if I lied to him, I promise he would know immediately. He'd read me like a book. So, that leaves me with very few options."

"Artemis," Holly cut in quickly before he could continue. "You could just stay with me. Ya know, until you figure something out." She stroked a nimble finger through a long, auburn wave unconsciously. "It's not a big deal."

Artemis turned to face her, and for a second Holly feared he may be seeing through her. She gulped, freezing in place at his calculating stare.

What are you up to? Artemis thought, gazing at her curiously. No. This is Holly. If she suggests it, she means it. He slowed himself down, really sorting out what she said.

"Stay with you…in Haven? How?" He shook his head again, bewildered. The world around him cleared, becoming more stable. "I don't think it's possible. Isn't there a code against this in your Book?"

"It's definitely possible," Holly countered gently, still avoiding his gaze and settling on the window. "I think you're the only human they'd let live in Haven City. You're kind of, like…a celebrity."

Artemis moved beside Holly so she was forced to look at him, otherwise she'd be the awkward one out. So, as her cherubic features turned to face him, Artemis' piercing eyes peered down at her. "You'd really let me stay in Haven, with you?"

Holly blushed, feeling her pout grow warm under his persistent eye contact. He's onto me. "Yeah, why not? It actually sounds sorta fun. I need some more action in my life, and, uh, you're bound to keep me on my toes, so…" She shrugged. "It's just an offer though. You don't need to take it."

Artemis glanced outside at the window and watched a hazy, thick fog roll in from the icy waves outside. Fitting. He pressed his palm to his forehead, unsure if he was hot or cold. Nothing, he decided and sighed, leaning against the window. I feel nothing.

"Right then. Okay…I suppose this works short-term." It took him a second, but then he raised a fluffy brow at her. "...I'm a celebrity?"

"Oh. Yeaaah," Holly said, rubbing her neck sheepishly. "See, after Argon's book about you, they made a movie series about us. Like, our adventures. So, I'm kind of one too. You're more popular though."

Artemis finished heaving his necessities in the bag and zipped it up, tossing it over his shoulder. He absorbed the situation for a second. "Well, I am a genius. Let's go, then? I don't have anything to lose at this point."

Holly put a soft hand on his arm. "Arty, are you okay?"

"Why?" he froze, his shoulders tensing defensively. "Am I different to you too?"

"No," Holly said firmly, her eyes locked on him with confidence. "I know this is a shitty situation to be in. I'm asking if you're okay-" she finished with a light jab of her finger on his heart, "inside there."

Artemis was sorrowful and beaten as he kept his gaze down; Holly knew he wasn't okay. He was obviously stressed with worry lines creased in the edges of his eyes, and his broad shoulders hung heavily in defeat, but she still felt obligated to ask.

"I'm not really sure about how I feel," Artemis answered honestly. The inside of his body felt heavy but hollow, like a shell, and his heart crackled in a strange way, not like painful electricity, but more like a heaviness for existing. But he was afraid to dwell too much, for if he gave himself any leeway, he might be thrown into another panic attack. It was right then that he realized what the crackling in his chest was - he was holding in his panic attack. Was it wise to do that? Does it even matter?

Artemis took a deep inhale; breathing was suddenly harder now. "I'll be fine. Let's get going."

They turned to exit his suite when Angeline stopped them both in the doorway. She wore a sad smile on her face, her frown lines creased with worry. Her glowing presence was enough to stop Artemis in place.

"Hello, mother," Artemis greeted quietly, his mouth tight with dissatisfaction.

"Arty, darling," Angeline started, moving towards her son carefully, as if he were wild. "I just want you to know that your father loves you. This has been hard on us, but especially him. I think he feels like he failed you."

"Then why isn't he here to say this himself, instead of my mother making excuses for him?" Artemis retorted, picking up speed again to walk past his mother, Holly silently sprinting after him.

"Artemis, listen! This wasn't an easy decision-"

"Mother, please. I am done," Artemis said firmly as he rounded a hallway full of Fowl portraits. "I am leaving, as demanded."

Angeline followed after her son, stopping him with her hand on his arm. "Arty, we will always be here for you. You're always welcome to stay and come back. In fact, you don't even have to leave!"

"Mother," Artemis groaned, moving forward again. "You want me to leave, so I am gone. Let's not continue this."

"At least take this, then." His mother shoved something papery into his hand, and took him into a tight hug he didn't return. "I love you darling, please don't forget that."

Artemis gazed down at the purple banknotes in his hand, making out two 500 euro notes. He broke from his mother's embrace gently, handing it back to her. "I don't need this, but thank you." Artemis walked forward again but his mother tugged on his hand, forcing the banknotes into his palm again.

"Mother, I don't want your money, please." He handed it back out while avoiding her gaze, hoping she would take it. He felt pathetic enough, and being given a thousand euro was just plain embarrassing.

Holly snatched it before either one could react. She pocketed it as she walked past both humans. "What? If he won't take it, I will," she shrugged, jogging down the main, spiral staircase back towards the glass-paneled foyer.

"Well, that settles that," Angeline tried to joke, delicate fingers running through her locks. Artemis followed after Holly without another word and Angeline reached forward, stopping him once more. "Arty, I love you, darling. You know that, don't you?"

Artemis didn't know how to respond. He wanted to tell his mother he loved her, but something about saying it felt draining. Nothing he could think of sounded right, and he wished he could remain silent. But out of respect for his mother, he at least uttered, "I know." He leaned in and gave her a quick hug. "Goodbye, mother."

Artemis released her swiftly and took off for the stairs, making his exit towards the villa, leaving his forlorn mother behind on the balcony above.

---

Black loafers crunched against wet grass as Artemis strode across the manicured lawn towards his Tesla. The late morning was characteristically gloomy, with an icy fog that clung to the dark, dead branches rustling gently in the sea breeze.

Holly stuck her palm out. "Want me to drive?"

Artemis pulled out his keys, twirling them in a finger. "I think I'll drive. It helps clear my head." He glanced at the red-headed elf at his side, studying her body language. She seemed relaxed and casual, but there was still something in him that made him feel guilty for always relying on her. He stopped walking, putting his hand on her shoulder slowly.

"Holly."

Holly turned and looked up at him, her heart thumping rapidly in her chest. "Yeah?" she asked, crossing her arms insecurely. Did he know something was up? Had he caught onto her already?

"Thank you, you know. For everything you've done," Artemis said sincerely, tightening his grip on her shoulder. "I can always rely on you, even though I don't deserve it."

Holly rolled her eyes playfully. "Hey, relax. It's not that serious," she smiled, patting his hand on her shoulder. "We're friends. That's what friends are for." Her eyes traveled to the fresh scar on the back of his hand. He had protected her, and even moreso, saved her with that hand. She traced the scar thoughtfully. "Besides, I owe you."

"No, no. I definitely owe you , considering I tricked you into the situation to begin with," he said, shuddering under her fond touch. He broke away, eyes focusing on the glum fog rolling in beyond the coast. His chest was the heaviest it'd felt in a while. "Holly, I can figure something else out. I've decided I don't want to burden you."

"No, Astroboy, I've already decided. You're staying with me." Holly rolled her eyes again, shivering in the icy breeze as it blew by her. Her shiny waves lifted in the wind as she continued strolling to Artemis' Tesla. "You only have a thousand euro. You know how much that is in America?"

"Exactly $1,132 dollars," Artemis replied blandly, slipping his hands into his grey coat's pockets, feeling very much like the fog around them. "Which is, essentially, nothing."

"I'll take your word for it. Besides, this might be fun, don't you think?" she chuckled, winking back at him.

"Sure," Artemis started, unlocking his car. "Off to Haven we go."

It took Artemis and Holly around an hour to get to the Hill of Tara shuttleport just south of Dublin. Holly had checked in with Nimbus, the elf/goblin shuttleport director and gotten them a shuttle within the next hour. Thankfully, the day wasn't very busy, and it only took Holly a few minutes to hop back into the car parked at McGraney Farm. She cozied up in her warm seat, glancing over at the human on his phone.

She studied his face as he scrolled, a sad frown glued to his tapered jaw. She sighed, nudging him with her elbow. "We've got about an hour to spare. Anything you want to do?"

Artemis glanced up, his brow wrinkled. "I am peckish, to be honest. And I could really use a coffee." He looked over at Holly. "Are you hungry?"

"I am," she nodded, but bit her lip as she tilted her head in thought. "But you're broke at the moment, so we should probably wait 'til we get to Haven."

"I really need an espresso, Holly," Artemis insisted, taking the car out of park and reversing on the farm mud. "I'm stressed, and coffee relieves my stress."

"Arty, it's just coffee," Holly grinned, poking his arm to annoy him. "Coffee is a luxury, not a necessity. Not that you know the difference."

"We haven't eaten, Holls," Artemis protested, pulling out onto the main road that ran alongside the gorgeous green cliffs of the Irish coast. "Besides, 10 euro for a coffee and lunch between us both isn't a bad deal."

"...You've really never been broke before, have you?" Holly asked in amusement.

"It's just 20 euro."

"You have no money."

"I have a thousand euro," Artemis countered, but recanted with a slight smile. "Well, after our meal it'll be 980 euro."

"Careful, Arty," Holly warned playfully, playing his arm like a guitar. "Your privilege is showing."

"It's literally an entire 980 euro," Artemis murmured. "I am stressed, and all I want is a coffee. It will be fine."

"Oooh my gods. We're doomed."

---

The already stressed Artemis was even more irritable after it took them three separate tries to find an open coffee shop before Artemis found one that suited his tastes. He ended up over budget by an extra 5 euro, and Holly started to doubt his ability to 'adult' on his own without a fortune to fall back on.

As they made their way into the E1 shuttleport, coffee and bags in hand, Artemis followed Holly anxiously to the front desk beside the line of people. Gnomes, gremlins, elves, sprites, and pixies of all colors and sizes fumbled around them, most taking several double takes at Artemis. He tapped his loafered foot anxiously in place as he watched the massive, rectangular shuttle line up on the loading bay, examining the assortment of fairies passing through.

Holly, meanwhile, slapped her LEP badge and ID down onto the counter. "I already saved our place on the next shuttle with Nimbus, if you could look into that."

A tiny gnome from across the counter crossed his arms and popped a bubble from his gum, nodding to Artemis behind her. "You got clearance for him? I ain't nevah let a human pass through before."

Holly turned over her shoulder and tapped Artemis. "Give me your ID." He fumbled through his bag and Holly frowned at him. "Hurry up."

"I'm trying," Artemis groaned, handing over his Irish passport to her.

Holly slammed his passport on the counter beside her items. "There ya go. Happy?"

The gnome grunted as he looked over the passport until he noticed the name. His mauve eyes widened and he looked past Holly at Artemis, totally shell-shocked. "A-A-Artemis F-Fowl. Oh, Frond!"

This got even more attention from the already suspicious fairies around them, and suddenly they had a crowd surrounding them. "The Artemis Fowl?!" "You mean, the actual human?" "Is that really him?" "Quick, take a picture!" "Do you think he'd let me take a selfie with him?!"

Artemis was mid-sip of his steaming espresso when the fairies bombarded him. Wide eyes glanced at Holly, unsure how to react to the attention. He assumed that he would normally relish in it, but at the state he was currently in, he felt shy and surreal. Life had become one messy, vivid dream.

Holly threw off the crowd with a flash of her LEP badge. "Keep your distance, people! This is official police business."

"Can we just get one picture?" a sprite asked amongst her pixie friends. "We'll be fast, we promise!" The girls giggled as they inched closer and Holly stepped before them.

"Get any closer, and you'll be in a cell for a week," Holly warned, putting a hand on her hip. "Unless you like being charged with obstruction of justice, which I can make a felony for you, by the way."

The girls frowned and flicked Holly off as they wandered away. Holly heard a snicker over her shoulder, and she raised an annoyed brow at the man behind her. "What?"

"I think Butler would be very pleased with you," Artemis chuckled, sipping on his warm drink.

"You: shhh. Shut it," Holly groaned as she pushed past him back towards the gnome at the counter. "Are we cleared- or?"

The gnome nodded furiously, a starstruck smile stuck on his face. "Of course! Everything is good here. Except, if you could-" The gnome reached down and pulled out a neo-noir sci-fi movie poster labeled Fowl and Fairy: The Great Escape. He slapped it on the desk and smiled at them. "Could I get an autograph real quick? For mah nephew, lil Jimmy? He's a big fan, ya know?"

Both Holly and Artemis nearly cringed out of their skins. Artemis recovered first, answering, "You do know I am the actual human, correct? A literal genius, not some movie star?"

Holly nearly facepalmed herself unconscious. "Oh my gods. Artemis. Shut up."

The gnome ignored her and continued on, dazzled by the finely dressed human before him. "Yes, I know who you are. Trust me, the real thing is always better."

Artemis shrugged and leaned forward, taking the gnome's ink pen.

"You're not," Holly breathed, wide-eyed.

"Why not?" Artemis asked her quietly as he signed his name on the clerk's poster. "Uh, there. Hope that makes your day," he said kindly, setting the pen down and collecting their things. He passed Holly, shrugging at her. "What?"

"Look at you, being all nice," Holly smirked as she led them to the shuttle line.

"In truth, I'm a bit surprised by your people's reaction to me," Artemis smirked back at her. "I was expecting infamy. You know, the pitchforks and screaming kind."

Holly held in her laughter as she flashed their tickets to the line clerk and led them inside a nearly empty shuttle. She grinned deviously at Artemis as she picked a spot, chuckling to herself.

Artemis found her reaction amusing but also slightly annoying. "What?" he scoffed, squinting at her.

"You're funny. That's all," Holly said as she swayed her legs in her seat.

Artemis raised a brow as he lifted his duffle bag onto a rack. "You've always said the opposite about my humor, and my ability to construct the perfect joke."

"Don't ever say that again," Holly teased, leaning back in her seat.

"Fine," Artemis sighed, sitting across from her, his gaze still fixed on hers playfully. "But, I will construct the perfect joke for you so long as I'm here."

Holly grimaced and smiled at the same time, something she tended to do around Fowls. "The fact that you put construct and joke in the same sentence just shows there is no humor alive in there."

"One day, my dear fairy friend," Artemis sighed dramatically, giving her his famous vampiric smile. "One day, I shall make it happen."

---

The Lower Elements

Haven City

The shuttle wasn't the most entertaining of rides. Artemis and Holly napped in several different positions, from passed out on their bags to sprawled on the bench seat. By the time an hour had passed, Holly awoke to the slithering of the shuttle doors, and Lili Frond's smooth voice in the speakers overhead. Ding dong.

"You have arrived in Haven City. Enjoy your trip in Haven, and thank you for flying with the Lower Elements Shuttle Service. We hope to see you again soon."

Holly rolled her eyes at Frond's annoyingly perfect voice. She felt a weight on her and glanced down. Artemis had his head in her lap, snoozed beside her. Holly froze. She felt her face warm and she smiled fondly, brushing a lock of silky hair out of his face. Thick brows were relaxed against his porcelain forehead, his dark lashes flickered gently in his sleep. There were few times Artemis Fowl looked as peaceful as now. Holly ran a delicate touch over his cold cheek, tracing his stubble towards his slightly parted lips. She couldn't help but acknowledge her friend's good looks. He'd really grown into himself since she met him. Seeing him as a man, a fully-fledged human, just felt… different.

Holly took a mental picture of the languid genius when she had an idea. Actually, that'd be kinda funny. She reached into her pocket, careful not to disturb Artemis, and slipped out her small phone. She snapped a quick photo of his slumber and giggled as she placed the phone back in her pocket.

"Arty," Holly mused, shaking him softly. "Arty, wake up."

Artemis stirred slowly, confusion washing over his snowy features. "Hm?" he mumbled incoherently.

"We're here," Holly sang lightly, tapping his head. "Come on. Wake up."

Artemis grumbled, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He then realized his proximity to Holly and groggily stared up at her, puzzled. "How did I end up like this?"

"Beats me," she answered, poking his forehead with the tip of her nail.

Artemis waved her away and sat up with a frown. He thought about his surroundings for a moment, remembering what transpired. Mother and Father hate me. I have no money. I'm on a shuttle to Haven. No. His eyes widened, taking notice of the holographic Gnommish text that floated above the metallic doorways. I'm in Haven.

A tiny squeal-yawn erupted from the elf beside him, breaking his train of thought.

Holly wiped her eyes once more and caught Artemis gawking at her. "What?" she asked, raising a suspicious brow at him.

"Nothing," Artemis stared a bit longer. He eventually smiled to himself as he stood. "That was very endearing."

"What was endearing?!"

"Your yawn," Artemis replied, keeping his demeanor cool and confident. "It was cute."

Holly watched him reach for their bags, a deep wine coloring her golden cheeks. "Hmph. Whatever." She stood and stretched her arms over her head before walking a bit ahead of him. "Let's hurry up and get to my place before people start waking up."

Thankfully, it was still early morning in Haven City, and the city's sky panels were set to a dark lilac twilight that kept the city in a cozy, warm slumber. Ultra-modern skyscrapers wrapped around the stalactites on the roof shot a thousand feet up, the rows of lights above them twinkling like stars.

Stars.

"Artemis!"

Artemis blinked, snapping out of his daze. He groaned, irked that this kept happening. Would he ever recover? He noticed the petite elf waving in front of him, a backpack slung over her hoodie as she stood in the center of a sidewalk.

He followed Holly slowly down the street, taking in the sights of the fairy metropolis. Emergency sirens, hover motors, and music radios echoed around the gargantuan cavern. The air was hot and muggy underground, tinged with the slightest hint of fuel and moss. The streets were mostly empty in the early morning Thoroughfare, only the occasional hover car zipped by. The aesthetic of the city was a breathtaking dystopia of cyberpunk grime. Giant holographic billboards hung over the futuristic skyline, fairies' blown up faces smiling down at them. Plastic shipping tubes spun around the cavern, weaving in and out of buildings and stalactites. Cleaning bots sucked up litter from the concrete streets around them, and Artemis spun in a tight circle to take it all in.

"I don't think I've seen Haven from this angle before. Do you live far?" Artemis inquired.

Holly pointed to a stalagmite-turned-highrise directly overhead. "Nope. That's my building there. Moved there about a year ago."

They took the public elevators for the Middleway, an elevated section in the vertical metropolis used as a street to access the higher buildings. A glass elevator service ran along the entrance, exposing the skyline around as it shot citizens sixty feet into the air. Artemis followed Holly into the elevator, watching the cityscape grow smaller below them as it lifted them to Holly's building.

A few minutes later, they reached a massive stalactite entwined with LED screens and glass balconies; a holographic Gnommish sign read Mulberry Row Condominiums. They took another elevator inside, and eventually reached Holly's apartment on the 22nd floor.

As Holly pressed her finger into the scanner on her pinewood front door, the scanner beeped green and the door clicked. It slid aside automatically, and in the doorframe, Holly threw her arms open. "Welcome to la casa de Short!"

Artemis stepped into the apartment, firstly grateful the dimensions were mostly human-sized. The second thing he noticed was the scent of tea and freshly-cut wood wafting through the small space. The apartment was more bare than he initially expected, with almost no decor and a minimalistic color palette. The birch wood floors were clean alongside crisp, white walls, a concrete accent wall tucked away in the tiny kitchen to their right. A good-sized, acrylic tube ran along the length of the concrete wall, maybe serving as a delivery or mail chute. Directly before him sat a burnt orange L-shaped sofa, a large, fluffy silver rug, and an acrylic rolling coffee table. Artemis could see two white doors in the back, which he assumed were her bedroom and restroom.

"Sorry it's so plain," Holly said, walking past him. "I haven't decorated since I moved in."

"It's fine. So, how are we doing this?" Artemis wondered as he placed his duffle bag on her couch.

Holly strode towards her bedroom, slinging her backpack off her shoulder. "How are we doing what?" she asked as she tossed the bag onto the white, full-sized bed.

"Our sleeping arrangements," Artemis replied, looking around the apartment curiously. "I assume we're not sharing a bed, unless you're okay with that."

Holly rolled her eyes. "No, we're not sharing a bed, Arty," she smiled, twisting her hair up into a topknot. "You can have the bed, and I'll take the couch."

"No, you're doing me a favor," Artemis shook his head at her. "It's not fair to make you sleep out here."

"It's not a big deal," Holly assured, waving a hand at him. "I sleep on my futon all the time. This won't change anything. Plus, I'm sure your mudman proportions would prefer the bed."

"Well, I-" Artemis cut himself off, nodding. "Thank you. I appreciate that." The crackling in his chest was immense now, and he felt any moment the panic would crush him. He closed his eyes, placing a shaky hand to his forehead. "Where is your restroom?"

"Oh, okay, so, the bathroom might be kinda weird to you humans. It's through that door but the actual toilet will be on the door inside on your -"

"I'll be back in a bit," Artemis interrupted, rushing past her through the right door.

Holly blinked. What's his deal?

---

Artemis threw himself into Holly's tiny bathroom, falling forward onto her vanity. The granite sink was lower than he was used to but he rested both arms comfortably on either side, breathing deeply into the long mirror.

Something Artemis was learning about his disorder was that it was erratic and without fail. Despite feeling a bit enthralled by Haven, as well as coming to terms with his situation, he still felt… simply, like shit. He still felt shocked by his parents. He felt guilty for Holly dragging him here, and having to adjust her life for him. He was powerless. Like when he was a child. A stupid child.

"Stupid," Artemis muttered. He fell forward, head in hands. 28 years old and your life is in shambles. His breath hitched, the next not catching either. He sucked in a breath but it just seemed like it wouldn't stay. As the panic lifted and rose through his gut and spilled into his chest, his heart crackled once more. Another thing Artemis learned about his disorder: panic attacks were known to replicate heart attacks, and now, he was finally having one bad enough to understand what that was like.

He choked on another breath. His skin felt hot and feverish against the cold, concrete wall. He wasn't sure if he couldn't breathe or if it just felt like he couldn't, but his wild eyes caught himself in the mirror and he nearly laughed. Ridiculous. Artemis Fowl: bested by a panic attack.

His gaze turned hateful on himself, his icy glare chilling and cruel. He imagined himself punching the mirror, shattering that stupid, smug face. He tried to utter something, but his throat croaked instead. He clawed at his chest for air, desperately wishing the feeling would pass.

But it didn't. It got worse. Artemis' ears rang off like a flashbang, his head searing in pain. His vision doubled and he felt a chill slither down his spine. He took a step forward off the wall, wide eyes still locked on his reflection. Something was off.

The concrete wall behind him seemed darker than before, and in that darkness, a voluptuous figure loomed behind his shoulder. She emerged from the abyss behind him, wispy silver strands of hair slicked to blood-soaked cheeks. Vinyáya whispered, but Artemis didn't catch it.

This has happened before, hasn't it? he realized in his panic.

"I- I'm sorry," Artemis muttered, eyes like saucers, frozen in fear at the hallucinatory elf hovering over him.

She leaned in slowly, her lips coming to rest at his ear. Blood trickled down her chin as she whispered:

"Pathetic."

Artemis' eyes rolled to the back of his head as he took a step forward and his mind gave out, allowing his body to crash to the floor.

Holly froze over her bed, a shirt limp in her hands. What was that? "Arty?" she called out, her nose scrunched suspiciously. She waited a few moments before she tried again. "Artemis?"

Nothing. Concerned, she moved out of her room and pressed a palm to the bathroom door. "Arty? Are you okay?" Still, no answer. A bit worried now, Holly tried the door, finding it unlocked, and an unconscious Artemis on the other side.

"Artemis!" Holly dashed to his side, turning him over so his head rested in her lap. She pressed her fingers to his throat, finding his pulse rapid but steady. She sighed, grateful he was alive at least. Holly gave him a look over: he seemed fine with no bleeding or open wounds. So why did he pass out? She looked down at his distressed face, wrinkles creased under his eyes. For the second time in under an hour, she had his head in her lap again. She rolled her eyes at the thought when her hand bumped into something on his head. Her fingers stroked his scalp through his soft hair, feeling a scar.

Artemis had a head wound. She turned his head slightly, examining it. The 3-inch wound had healed and had a red, thick braid of tissue. Despite a head full of hair hiding it, it didn't look properly cared for.

Holly took another breath and leaned down, pressing her warm forehead against his. "Heal," she whispered, finishing it with a light kiss to his forehead. A blue corona of sparks formed on impact, swirling up and around his head, intertwining and electrifying his black locks. She poured her magick into him, hoping she could help in some way. It didn't take long for Artemis to stir awake, his piercing eyes fluttering open.

"Wha-what happened?" he murmured.

"I don't know. I heard a thump and found you unconscious," Holly shrugged, mindlessly twirling some of his longer strands of hair. "Are you feeling okay?"

Artemis realized he was in Holly's lap again, and caught her worried gaze. "Hi."

"Hi."

"We've got to stop meeting like this," he joked weakly, getting up to his elbows. "I think I'm okay… sorry." He sat up, pressing a hand to his clammy face. "I don't intend to be a nuisance."

"Hey, you're fine. A lot's happened in the past week for you," Holly said, standing and reaching her hand out to him. "I think outer space wore you out. You should just rest."

Artemis took her hand, standing upright beside her. He felt melancholy as ever, yet he couldn't exactly remember why. Maybe being in Haven was more overwhelming than he expected? Maybe he had another episode? He allowed Holly to lead him to the sofa and rested on it, pondering at her plain white ceiling.

What was he going to do in Haven? What would be his source of income if not his work? It was absurd. It would only be a matter of time before he drove Holly insane, and got himself kicked out of here too. Then, he would truly be alone. He felt anxiety wash over him, suddenly feeling cold and claustrophobic.

"Hey," Holly appeared beside him, patting his shoulder. "I'm gonna run to Police Plaza real quick. I gotta get your visa so you can actually do something here. You gonna be okay if I go for a bit?"

"Yes, of course," Artemis replied, snapped out of his thoughts. "I'm sorry for making you do all of this for me."

"Again, it's fine, Astroboy. Besides, Police Plaza is five minutes downstairs, so I'll be quick!" Holly waved to him. "Help yourself to anything. Call me if you need me, okay?"

And with that, she left the only human in Haven in her living room contemplating how to pick up the pieces of his life.

---

Lower Elements Police Headquarters

Commander's Quarters

It was still early morning in Haven, the majority of foot traffic at the Police Plaza mainly being officers or convicts they'd wrung in.

Holly found herself outside of the Commander's office, shielding herself away from his plexiglass walls behind the door. She tapped her leg restlessly, biting her lip as she mulled over how this would go.

The office doors slid apart, exposing Holly to Trouble on the other side. He smirked at her, his violet eyes gleaming at her from his desk.

"What're you doing here, Short?"

"Heeeey, Trouble…" Holly started like a deer in headlights. She moved into his office, the doors closing behind her, leaving the officers alone. She played with the fringe by her eyes nervously as she continued forward. "So, this is a long shot, but do you remember that thing I told you, like, 4 years ago?"

Trouble raised a cocky brow. "Considering we were dating 4 years ago and I blocked most of that out, I'd say no."

"Thanks for that," Holly frowned, stopping in front of him. "It's the visa, Commander, sir."

"…I can't tell if you're trying to mock me or flatter me, Commodore, ma'am," Trouble replied, focused on the email on his screen. "But, I don't know what visa you're talking about."

"The human one."

Trouble froze, his eyes slowly craning towards her. "…You're telling me that you're bringing him here?"

"He's, uhhh, kinda already here."

"Holly, you're joking, right?" Trouble groaned, rubbing his temples.

"You agreed to this long ago," Holly whined, leaning against his desk. "Don't act surprised now-"

"You're admitting to me that you smuggled a human into Haven?"

"I brought him in completely legally," Holly waved him off. She plopped herself onto his desk. "And unsurprisingly, people were thrilled."

"Thrilled, Holly?" Trouble leaned back in his chair, trying to rub his headache away. "You think a human, much less this mudwhelp, being in Haven is acceptable or even a good idea?"

"Do you want me to go to the Council?" Holly crossed her arms, raising a singular brow at him. "Because I can. I can get their approval if you want."

Trouble scooted forward, pressing his palms together. He gave Holly his famous, dangerous amethyst glare. "Give me one, and just one, good, solid reason for his presence here?"

Holly froze again. "...He could help promote tourism in Haven."

"How?"

"...The...movie industry?" Holly struggled, a guilty smile tugging the corners of her round lips.

"...Is this a joke to you, Commodore?" Trouble retorted, his demeanor ultra-serious now. "Should I continue to call you that?"

Holly hopped off his desk and leaned forward on her hands. "This isn't a joke. You already have the visa. All you need to do is give it to me."

"Sorry, but I reject your request," Trouble said dryly, turning back to his emails. "Send him back."

Holly stood front and center, doing her best to appear as professional as possible for him. "Sir, I can't. The People are tied to the Fowl family, whether we like it or not, and this isn't about me wanting him here. This was planned in advance, and you know that. You know what implications this could have for the fairy people if we fail or reject the Fowl's requests, sir."

"Sir, huh?" Trouble grunted with a lecherous smirk.

Holly rolled her eyes, facepalming. Males would be males. "For Frond's sake, Trouble."

"Don't say that," the Commander shivered. "That's weird."

"Not my fault you dated that airhead," Holly muttered with disdain, crossing her arms.

"Why do you have such a thing against her?" Trouble chuckled, eyeing Holly inquisitively. "I don't think Lili's ever done anything to you-"

For some reason, talking about Lili drove her over the edge. "I need the damn visa Trouble!" Holly snapped impatiently before realizing Trouble was still her commanding officer. "…Please."

"You haven't given me a good reason," Trouble shrugged, ignoring her, his violet eyes glowing from his holo-screen. "You're a Commodore, not a human babysitter. It's not our job to watch over him-"

"Gods. He's an adult human," Holly whined, leaning against the desk again. "I'm not babysitting him, and neither is Haven."

Trouble looked up to give her a dead-pan stare. He wasn't having it.

"Look, truthfully?" Holly continued, moving around his desk to slowly saunter towards the male elf. "It's hard to think of a legitimate reason to keep him here. But the People weren't afraid of him. They embraced him. I mean, I was shocked by it too. But I dont think he'd be much of an issue here. Plus he's kinda… Well, he's not doing great right now."

"Oooooh, great," Trouble quipped sarcastically. "Just what we need. Another mentally unstable Artemis Fowl."

"Still Artemis Fowl though," Holly shrugged.

Trouble was silent for a few moments as he mulled it over. Eventually, his chiseled features caught hers. "What's he going to do here?"

"I don't know. He could help Foaly-"

"No."

"Oooookay. Maybe he can be-"

"He can't do anything but work for free or work under himself," Trouble lifted a finger, jabbing it on the desk.

"Why?"

"He's not a citizen. He can't make money here from our people."

"Ugh. It's just for a few weeks," Holly groaned again, pulling closer to Trouble now. She could smell his favorite spicy cologne he loved to wear for 'good luck'. Holly was pretty sure 'good luck' was code for getting laid. "He won't be here forever, Trubs."

"Don't call me that," Trouble warned, swiveling his chair so he could give her his full attention now.

But Holly knew her ex too well. She swayed her hips as she pulled in close, resting each palm on the arm rests. She brought her nose inches from Trouble's, testing the Commander. She could see the no-nonsense attitude in his face but she could tell by his breathing that he was enjoying her presence. She smirked, amping up her tease by bringing her lips close to his, speaking against him. "Trubs."

Trouble's mouth was firm and Holly could tell he was biting his cheek. He gave her a look over once and rolled his eyes, leaning back. "Fine. One month, and that's it-"

"Thank you, Commander, Sir."

"Holly," Trouble started again, trying to ignore her irresistible essence and thrusting out a single finger to create distance. "If he does one thing, even just one, he's out, do you understand?

Holly pulled back, saluting Trouble, but the dangerous lust that tugged the corner of her lips remained. "Yes, sir, Commander, sir."

"Stop that," Trouble shuddered, giving a flustered smile.

Holly saw her chance to pry again. "Why, sir?"

"Holly," Trouble sighed, trying to prevent getting hot and bothered.

"Thank you, Trouble," Holly perked up, dropping the lusty act. "I'll keep him in line. Promise. Few weeks, tops." She saluted him, spinning around and exiting his office.

Trouble chuckled to himself as he turned back to his emails, waiting. He muttered amused, "3, 2, 1-"

And on cue, Holly returned into his office, a bit out of breath. She gave a large, embarrassed smile. "I, uh, need the visa… haha. Please."

Trouble just stared at her in response, and Holly stared back. "What?"

"I'm not kidding. One mess up. He's out." Trouble dipped his hand into a drawer, slipping the visa into her hand. "Dork."

"Aw, don't talk about yourself that way!"

"Out. Now."

"Thank you, Trouble!" Holly nodded in thanks, leaning over and planting a firm kiss to the Commander's cheek.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now go finish your vacation. That's an order."

Holly waved to him as she exited his office, and once out of sight, Trouble fell back into his hands, rolling his eyes in amusement. What am I going to do with you, Holly?

---

Mulberry Row Condominiums

Apt 224

No more than twenty minutes later did Holly come back, bursting through the front door proudly. "I'm baaack!" she called out. She kicked off her sneakers and tossed the visa onto the small kitchen fresh aroma of cedar steamed the air and Holly darted around curiously at the foreign yet familiar scent. "Arty? You're alive, right?"

"I'm here," Artemis replied, lifting a hand into the air for Holly to see. He chuckled, amused that she couldn't see him below the couch.

Holly furrowed her brows together, looking for him. She walked around the couch, her socks slippery on the wood flooring. He was on the rug with his back against the couch, changed into a plain white sweatshirt, an emerald blanket with a book in his lap. "Why're you on the floor?" she smiled, crossing her arms.

Artemis glanced up from the tan book at his knee towards her, tiny water droplets dripping from the tips of his damp hair. "The rug is nice. I also like the floor. It's grounding, and allows me to stretch out my legs," he explained lightly, patting his thigh.

"I see," Holly chuckled. She plopped down beside him, the rug soft underneath her. She peered at what he was reading, and her youthful brows wrinkled in surprise. "Is that…?"

"Witchcraft and Magic In Ireland?" Artemis finished for her, tapping the book cover. "Indeed, it is."

"Why're you reading that?" she asked, cocking a brow at him.

Artemis turned back to the page he was on, skimming it. "You didn't have anything scientific, and this has a good deal of history in it. So, I went with this option."

"Oh."

"I also showered. I hope you don't mind."

It was then she noticed he smelled of cedar bunches. It was his scent, she was finally realizing. "That's what that is! It's you!" Holly jabbed him with raised brows. "You brought your own products?"

"Would you prefer me to use up yours?" Artemis chuckled, side-glancing her. "Or use none at all?"

"I prefer a clean mudman, thank you!" Holly teased, patting his shoulder as she got up. "I think I'm going to do the same, actually. Need anything?"

"I'm fine, Holly," Artemis assured gently. "Thank you."

"Mhm," she nodded, removing her hoodie as she slid across to the bathroom. "I got your visa, by the way. It's on the table."

"That was… fast," Artemis pondered. He snuck a peek at Holly through the crack in her door. "How did you get one so quickly?"

"We, uhhh, kinda already had one made," Holly shrugged, kicking the door mostly closed so he couldn't see her. "You're always getting into trouble with the fairies, so they had one made for you in case something happened, I guess."

"Hm. Interesting."

Shit. He knows.

"That makes sense, I suppose," he continued. "In case you need to keep me down here for a catastrophe, or some other cause."

Holly froze mid-tug at her shirt and sports bra. Was she really doing it? Was she really fooling Artemis Fowl? Is this why Angeline picked her? Because he trusted her so much, he would never suspect her?

Holly set her arms back down, leaning against the concrete wall. She felt sick as her stomach churned itself over. She wasn't one to take advantage of people. This wasn't how she did things. She peered through the crack in her door, peeping at Artemis as he read her book intently. But if I told him the truth, he probably wouldn't stay, would he? she thought to herself. Then what would he do? Go create another scheme? Get himself really killed this time?

The Commodore emerged from her bathroom in a pair of sweatpants and tank top, her damp, copper mane swaying behind her. She plopped down beside the silent genius, leaning into his side to peep at the page he was on. "Enjoying yourself?"

Artemis nodded, still silent.

Holly sighed, staring back at her reflection in the clear holo-TV screen on the wall ahead. She decided to just say what was on her mind. What they were both thinking.

"Your dad's kind of a dick."

"Yeah…" Artemis answered mindlessly, his focus still on the book.

"That's why you're reading, right?" Holly pried, leaning into his arm. "To distract yourself?"

His brow twitched once, and that was all Holly needed.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not particularly," Artemis said impassively, but sighed after a few moments. He closed the book and placed it on her coffee table, resting his hand on his knee as he stared ahead, catching their reflections in the holo screen.

"They're not normally like that. They're good people. I don't want you to think any less of them."

"Kinda too late for that," Holly exasperated, letting her head fall back on the couch so she could dwell on the ceiling. "I've talked with your dad before, you know. We had to devise a plan for your brothers. I thought he was a kind man. But, fuck. What he said about you was horrible, Arty. That wasn't fair."

She could feel Artemis tense next to her and she lifted to look at him. His gaze was hard as he stared at her floor, unblinking and breath heavy. She didn't want to bring up painful feelings in him, but she didn't want him to feel unsupported either. She slowly let her hand slither onto his shoulder.

"I can change the subject. We can talk about science, or Gaudi, or Mars, or something?"

Artemis couldn't help but give her a small slip of a smile. "You worry about me too much, Holls."

"I can't help it," she pouted playfully, a damp strand of hair falling over a pointed ear. "I can tell you're upset. I just don't want you to hold everything in."

Artemis nudged her with his elbow playfully. "Holly, I am fine ," he assured very convincingly, despite the heavy burden of guilt on his heart.

"Why won't you tell me about your space trip?"

The question weighed on Artemis heavily. The more unstable part of him wanted to shout 'because I don't want to!' but he would never allow himself to be reduced to such outbursts. He also refused to put any more burdens on Holly. So, instead he sucked it up, put on a kind smile, and turned his warm face towards his dear friend.

"What would you like to know?"

Holly grabbed part of the chunky blanket and scooted underneath it with him. She leaned against the couch and his right arm, getting cozy. "Hmm...what did you and Butler talk about? Did you find any other moons? Anything crazy happen?"

"That's three questions," Artemis chuckled, leaning his head back.

"Oh, don't test me. I have more," Holly informed, wiggling her fingers in his face. "Why didn't you ever call anyone back? Foaly said you just hung up on him. Was that true?"

Artemis froze, absorbing the memory. He hadn't called Holly, or Foaly back. He hadn't called anyone. Should she know that?

"I, uh- well, it's quite embarrassing," he started, wondering if Haven was genuinely that much warmer than the surface or if he was burning up. "My comms stopped working. It's a common problem with satellites out that far, as well."

"Why do they stop working?"

"Uh, well-" He sat up, running his fingers through the wet hair slicked to his neck. "There's a lot of issues with Mars. The asteroid belt is nearby and is known to cause chaotic meteor showers."

"Sounds scary."

"Yes. Yes, it is."

Holly leaned her damp head on his sweater, her eyelids feeling heavy. "Did you ever see any?"

"A few. We were mostly lucky," Artemis lied through his teeth. She wasn't normally easy to hide from, but her eyelids were fluttering and Artemis could tell she was sluggish. Now would be the perfect time to put her to sleep by driving pure science home to drop the conversation.

"Meteors are abundant with various, potent elements, so yes, though they are scary, they are extremely useful and essential to scientific experimentation."

"Don't we already have the same stuff here?" Holly squeal-yawned again, closing her eyes and smothering her cheek into Artemis' bicep.

"Well, if we can take samples from specific entities within the asteroid belt, we can ultimately understand more about our solar system's creation, and what in particular led to Earth being the only habitable planet for millions of miles," Artemis rambled purposefully, glancing at Holly's silence.

"Holly?" He waited a few moments, fondly watching her small, snoozing form against him. How can I be sure she's asleep? He chuckled quietly and craned his head over her. "Females don't belong in the LEP…"

No reaction. Artemis sighed, a sad smile gracing his lips. He was safe.

He gazed at the holo-screen's reflection. Stormy, scornful eyes stared back at him. He didn't know how long he stared for, but it soothed the crackling pain that jolted like a dagger in his gut. It tore upwards, ripping through his organs, jerking its way through his throat. Choked. It kept rising until it grabbed hold of his head, enveloping his body in a dark, devil's embrace.

Artemis' eyes widened in fear as he stared at himself. A sudden inkling of a thought dripped from the darkness that loomed over him, one tiny drop of poison from the dark cloud into his brain.

If I blink; if I lose this stare, will I be back out there? Amongst the deep space? Amongst the stars?

His eyes were watering as he quickly glanced at the elf sleeping on him. I don't want to leave this moment.

His gaze fell back to the screen, back to those piercing eyes. Fake, piercing eyes.

I don't want to go back. Not now.

Moisture streamed his cheeks now, his eyes stinging in pain as his breath quickened, terrified to blink.

Please let me stay here. Please let me have this moment.

And Artemis blinked. He held on to the blink for an inordinate amount of time, sensing his surroundings for any change. He could hear emergency vehicle sirens echoing in the city outside. He didn't feel weightless. The elf beside him was fragrant of lemon sage, her sinewy figure warm against him. He could feel the velvet of the blanket draped over them, and the soft, faux fur rug beneath his toes. He risked it, snapping his eyes open, holding his breath.

I'm still here. This is real.

A wave of relief crashed into him and his head fell back onto the sofa, sweat and water droplets dampening his forehead. He glanced down at the sleeping Holly again, his heart racing as he observed her. He noted the way her glowing, bronze skin sparkled with flecks of gold; the adorable pout that never left her seraphic face, or the light dusting of freckles that coated her nose. He'd met many fairies in his lifetime thus far, and yet none were quite as pure as Holly. How he managed to befriend her, he'd never know.

He caught his reflection in the holo-screen again, transitioning into an austere frown as he rested both knees down. He just stared numbly. Didn't he have much to be grateful for? He was lucky. He was exceptional. Shouldn't he be happy? Why wasn't he happy?

He checked Holly again, making sure she was truly asleep. She breathed softly against his arm like a baby, her arms curled up under the blanket.

Artemis turned to look ahead, this time at the blank wall beside the screen. He stared for a bit, tired of talking inside his head. He mulled over what he wanted to say, but stopped himself. Don't think, Holly would say. Just say what you feel.

So he did. Artemis blew out a sharp exhale, and began. But what the genius didn't notice was the elf's flittering eyes as she awoke gently from her slumber. Holly eventually left her eyes closed to rest. She smiled cozily to herself as she listened to Artemis' rapid breathing.

"I'm struggling, and you're asleep, so I'll just say it," he sighed, irritated with himself.

Hm? Holly's eyes didn't open, but the tips of her ears twitched as she listened in.

"I know I can be a pompous ass. I know I'm dramatic, or theatrical, as Artemis the Elder put it. I know there are people in this world, especially your people, that are struggling - that are much less fortunate than I. And in a way, because of this, it's difficult for me to talk to anyone. The amount of wealth and family history, combined with my ridiculous intellect? I feel as though I do not deserve to complain. To suffer, or to speak of any hurt I feel. I don't deserve to be in pain at all. I have so much to be grateful for. Even now, in the face of nothing, I have the best friend in the world, providing me shelter and care. To have that sort of friendship goes beyond luck. But… I also cannot deny that I don't think anyone can truly understand how isolated I really am."

Artemis fell back on the couch, his head landing softly on the cushions as he stared at the ceiling. He felt weak. Vulnerable. He didn't care. He didn't care anymore.

"Honestly… I haven't been sure this life is real. Everyone sees me differently. My own father doesn't think I'm real. Just a copy of the real Artemis. The Artemis everyone knew. I mean, is this transfer of consciousness even legitimate? A grown body, a lost soul. I'm empty, hollow, like a shell with no seed. Why am I even here?

But every time I try to give myself back; when I try to let go, I'm still here. I always end up back here, in this shell, with no seed, alone. Hollow, and alone.

I'm sure you don't mean to, but you look at me differently too. Sometimes, you look at my eyes, and you think I can't tell, but I know you're disappointed that yours isn't there."

Fuck. A straight sucker-punch to her heart.

"I'm sorry," Artemis said simply, but in the most genuine way he could express. A large, single tear rolled down his porcelain cheek as his breathing picked up. He just stared at the ceiling, painful memories probing his mind.

"I know you can't hear me, but it's not your fault. I hope you never blamed yourself. I failed. My plan failed. And I died because of it. There was nothing you could've done. I just need you to know that, even if you're asleep," he said weakly, feeling cowardly.

Tears were flowing freely now, and Holly was suddenly grateful her long, damp locks hid her face.

"So, I suppose I struggle to find this all real, and I'm afraid if I'm not kept busy, I will lose myself again. I will lose my memory, lose my sense of time, who I am. So, I'm sorry if I stare for too long. I just don't want to forget everything. I don't want to forget you."

Gods dammit, Arty. Holly had never heard the Irishman speak like this. In fact, she was sure he didn't even talk to his therapists like this. He wasn't one for long speeches or confessions. She didn't know what to make of it all, but she felt frozen, paralyzed in guilt. Artemis was alone in his thoughts, and she listened anyway. Was this wrong?

"Oh, and by the way? The Mars Project was a complete failure. And I don't say that lightly, or dramatically. It was. It really was a disaster. And it's all my fault. The meteor showers I mentioned?"

Artemis chuckled, but it wasn't in humor. He was mocking himself; loathing himself. "We didn't just see them. We were hit by them. Because I wasn't- I…"

Tears were soaking his cheeks now, his jaw set with frustration. "I lost nearly everything. I had so many elements; so many minerals, both organic and synthetic. One rock ripped the lab apart. And I couldn't… all that was left was what I have now. Sure. Yay. Great. Good job, Artemis. You've done something.

"Pathetic. If they only knew what I had. What we found. What I created. It was all for nothing. But, there is no one to blame but myself. Not even the meteor shower can be blamed. It was my fault. It was all because I let go. I just let go."

'I just let go.'

'I let go'

'I let go.'

The words rang surreally in Holly's head. What? He… no. What? It hits her.

'I let go.'

Artemis blew out a quick breath before he continued, covering his face with his cashmere sleeve. "Is that wrong? That I just wanted to let go of it all? Drift away? Become one with the stars? I lost my friends. Family. I completely lost myself. I lost my work, I nearly lost Butler..."

Holly couldn't take much more. His inner feelings struck her hard. It hurt so much. It felt like it seized hold of her heart and squeezed so hard that she couldn't breathe. A caving pit so deep in her chest it was like a screw was drilling into her heart. It hurt so much, all she could feel was the urge to scream at the top of her lungs. Wide eyes streamed tears that coated her red cheeks.

Fuck.

"You know what bothers me most of all?" Artemis choked, removing his wet sleeve, blurry vision fixed on the white panels above. "That I feel this way while our friends have died. That I was brought back, that I am still alive, while Julius, your comrades, Vinyáya, are dead. And they aren't coming back. So, why am I here, not even wanting to live, yet they will always be dead? Your comrades, Vinyáya: they died because of me. They died because of me, and I don't even want to live. How is that fair?

"You must hate me, Holly. I don't deserve this life you've given me. I don't."

My fault, Holly thought stunned. This is my fault. I did this I did this I did this-

Because I didn't care about his trip. Because I brushed him off like he was nothing. You created this trauma inside of him. You failed to stop his sacrifice. It was your eye that killed him. It was because of you he died. That he is in pain. You are the villain here.

It's all your fault.

"I'm sorry," Holly choked out beside him, her voice broken and frail. "I'm so sorry."

Artemis tensed against her, terrified to move. He was silent for a second and then lifted his head. His panicked eyes craned slowly towards Holly. Despite this, he asked calmly, "You heard me?"

Holly sat silently for a second as well, digesting. She avoided his intense gaze, and eventually nodded.

"How much did you hear?"

"...All of it."

Artemis sat up quickly, his eyes wild now. "You were supposed to be asleep. Why didn't you stop me?" he snapped. "Why would you let me continue?"

Artemis backed away from her, his cool demeanor smashed and his vulnerabilities exposed. No one's ever heard him speak that way before. Dammit. I will lose Holly too.

Artemis raised his palms to reassure her. "Holly, it's okay. It's not as dramatic as I make it soun-"

"Shut. Up," she croaked, her throat tight.

"Absolutely not-"

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up!"

"Don't yell at me-"

"You tried to kill yourself!"

Artemis was still as stone. Hearing her say those words, to put it that way, blew a fuse inside him. "No," he refused, shaking his head.

"Oh my gods," Holly cried, her hands on her face as she glared at him. "Oh my fucking gods. You really- you really did it. You really tried to kill yourself! "

"I- I didn't," Artemis stammered. Was he in denial? "I didn't."

She doubled over sobbing, her breath in quick, short bursts. "I knew it! I knew something would happen! I knew something was off!"

"No, you're wrong-"

"I knew you weren't okay. I knew, and I could've- I should've- Fuck!" Holly wept, clutching her chest close. "I can't, I can't-"

Artemis crawled a tad closer, lifting his arm slowly to caress her bare shoulder. "Holly, I'm just dramatic. It's all okay-"

But Holly wasn't having it. She rounded on him angrily. "You said let go. You said you let go! What does that mean then, Artemis?! What else could you mean?! "

"No! See, you're overthinking it-"

"Don't you DARE!" Holly jammed a finger at him, the fire in her eyes in fierce pain. "Don't you dare try to lie to me and gaslight me. How fucking dare you?"

Artemis felt his cheeks growing hot, his stubble itchy and his damp hair slick with sweat. He didn't know how to get out of this. He'd really dug himself a hole.

"Holly, please," he pleaded, his facade continuing to crack, his cheeks still sticky with tears.

Holly positioned herself inches from him, shoving her face in his. She would not let this go lightly. She couldn't.

"Say what you did."

Artemis shook his head, trying to back away until he hit the wall. Is that what letting go was? Is that what he'd done? "No? No-"

"Yes!"

"No. You are wrong-"

"You tried to kill yourself!" Holly hammered into him. "You tried to kill yourself. Say it, Artemis."

"That isn't-"

"SAY IT, ARTEMIS!"

"I can't," Artemis refused. He could feel his brow furrowed in shame. "I can't."

Intense eyes fixated on each other, either refusing to back down. But Holly was stronger, and she was seeing Artemis' walls breaking down one by one. She had no idea the right things to say. She knew, from her own experience as a trained hostage negotiator, what she should say, but her best friend in the world had just secretly confessed to attempting suicide. How could she handle that? She doubled over once more, her fists tight, knuckles white against the rug. "So, I'm wrong? You didn't attempt suicide?"

Her tearful face shot up, catching his shocked gaze. "You're telling me you didn't attempt suicide?"

Artemis tuned out her questions, focused on her teary hazel eye. It's green when she cries. She's beautiful.

Another thought smashed through the peaceful observation like a train. How morbid. She's upset with you, and all you can think about is her appearance. You're vile.

Artemis shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "I did not attempt suicide, Holly. That's not what it was. Space was… I was lost. That's all."

"You literally said you don't want to live anymore. Like, more than once," Holly insisted, wiping her face frustratedly. "I heard you with my elfin ears. And then you get defensive when I ask if you attempted to kill yourself?"

She covered her face with a hand. "Like, are you kidding me?" she fumed under her breath.

"Because it's offensive and preposterous. Me? Attempting suicide? It's…" he suddenly stopped, his shoulders slumped. He didn't have the energy to lie anymore. He was going to lose Holly either way. Nothing mattered anymore. He stared past her glowering eyes, getting lost in the purple twilight that streamed through her windows.

"So, it was during a meteor shower?"

"No, it was right before."

Silence.

Artemis hadn't meant to admit to it, but in his dissociation and panic, Holly caught him. Not his proudest moment.

"So you did," Holly breathed raggedly. "You fucking did. Oh- oh my gods." She clutched her stomach, weeping in place. "Oh."

"Holly, you need to understand-"

"Say it. I need to hear you say it. You need to hear yourself say it."

"I-I can't-"

"Say you tried to kill yourself. Say it."

"Holly! Listen, please. You don't understand," Artemis pleaded quickly. "The trip was, it was…

"It was what, Artemis?!" Holly scowled, hopping to her feet so she could pace around the living room. "What would cause you- what, what would even make you do this, Artemis?! Why?!"

"The Mars Project was… it-"

"Please - PLEASE - don't tell me you attempted suicide over a fucking project?!" Holly sobbed. She couldn't help getting so emotional. This was insane. It was something she never actually expected, but also knew was possible all along. She didn't know how to take it. She was too overwhelmed to slow down now.

"It was not just a project, Holly," Artemis argued, stammering now, nervous eyes wandering the room as he remembered the last few years of his life. "The Interstellar was my greatest achievement, and it just… it seemed like everyone thought I was foolish for going to the moon, to Mars. I felt alone. And then, in space, I was actually alone. I didn't want to attempt anything. I just…I…need...give myself back, I- don't deserve-"

Artemis shook his head and took a deep breath. It felt like the weight of the universe rested on his chest now and he grabbed his forehead in irritation. "My ship, it was my pride, my joy. And it was like a- a horror film. It was... it's everything I built, everything I discovered with my bare hands, and it was just… slipping away through my fingers. Gone. All because I let g... I tri- I did commit- Attempt…

"I tried to kill myself."

He stopped, sapphire eyes widening like saucers as reality finally sank in.

"Butler flat-lined because he saved me. He nearly died… because I tried to… I... I… you- " What have I become?

Artemis was struggling more than Holly had ever seen. Had she pushed him too far? "Arty, it's okay," she mused, sinking to her knees, reaching out to grab his shoulder.

"Is it?" Artemis doubted. "You almost died, again, for my scheme. You and Butler almost lost your lives again because of me. I…. I'm so selfish. I am so sorry."

Holly wiped her tears, trying not to break. "Okay, but you saved me, right? Doesn't that count for something?

"No?" he snorted, keeping his gaze off her. "It was my fault to begin with. Everything I touch turns to dust. I don't know why I keep trying. I don't understand why I'm still here."

"Because you're obviously not meant to die yet, Artemis," Holly said sternly, her stare serious. "You're not meant to die right now."

"But I want to," he spoke honestly, finding comfort in the soft light entangled in the threads of her curtains. "And the only time I don't think about it is when I'm busy and occupied. And now, even that has been taken, and…"

Artemis ran a hand over his red face as he took a deep breath. "Sorry. Let's stop this. Victimizing myself is entirely abhorrent."

"One, you're not acting like a victim," Holly replied, rolling her eyes. "And secondly, I just- I have to ask. You left to Mars way too quickly, and you come back five years later, on track, with a new fuel resource, and Butler alive, after you were pelted by meteors? I mean, Arty, what else could you want from your trip?"

"I was supposed to go to Mars to be great. And I came back with, what you would say, are a few rocks. That's it. I came back like this," he argued. "I don't think the original Artemis would've had this conundrum, to be honest."

"The original Artemis?" Holly finally pieced together why he actually attempted. He really didn't think he was real, did he? This shook her core, having been the one herself who held Artemis' dead body in her arms, and held his new body as his spirit took over him. She knew this was him. There was no doubt.

"Why didn't you just tell me, Arty? Why did you keep this to yourself for so long?"

Artemis was quiet for several moments, the question weighing heavily on him. "Honestly, Butler found out. After I saved him. He found out, and now he's left. It's not permanent, of course, but… I think I broke him, Holly. And, well, I didn't want to break you, either. I didn't want to lose you too."

"Artemis," Holly started sternly. "You are not going to lose me, especially while you're like this. I mean, look at you - you're obviously not okay. You don't even think you're real. You think I'm disappointed that you don't have my eye anymore."

She came closer to him. "Your eyes, your body, isn't what makes you Artemis. This," she pressed her fingertips delicately to his chest. "This is what makes you Artemis. You are the exact same Artemis Fowl I've always known."

Holly reached forward, cradling his face in her hands, his eyes broken. "Not a clone, or some copy. You're Artemis. The only Artemis."

He offered a sad smile. "It feels like you know him more than I do."

Holly felt her heart crack in two. She studied him a bit, then leaned in. "Come here," she sighed. She wrapped her arms around his collar, pulling him in close.

Artemis rested his chin on her shoulder, and returned her embrace, albeit blankly. His mind wandered elsewhere, pondering the last week of his life.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I never intended for you to hear me."

"Shh," Holly hushed kindly. She hugged him tighter. "I'm glad I heard you. You needed someone to hear you."

Artemis suddenly felt tiresome and heavy in her embrace, closing his eyes against her. "Mhm," he grumbled, the craving for sleep enveloping him like a blanket. He leaned back a bit against the couch, leaving her clinging to him as he drifted into sleep. He wasn't sure if he was dreaming yet or not, the world still fuzzy and dark in his mind, but the calming aroma of lemon sage subdued him. "Lemon sage, right?" he mumbled mindlessly into her hair. "That's your scent?"

Holly blurted a sharp laugh but didn't pull away, instead glancing at him from the side. "My scent? What the hell are you talking about, Astroboy?!" All she got was light breathing, the occasional tiny snore coming through.

An overwhelmed but grateful grimace-smile stretched across her stressed cheeks. Holly lounged into his side and leaned her head against his shoulder. She cozied up, the smell of cedar and the rhythm of his soft breathing soothing her.

"I'm here for you, Arty," she whispered, pushing her face into his collar bone. "Always."

Haven's sim-sky projected sun rays that nestled in the cracks of Holly's curtains, lighting up her apartment like a soft disco ball. And with that, the human and elf friends drifted into sleep, exhausted bodies finally getting the rest they deserved in each other's arms.