This chapter contains suggestive dialogue and explicit language.

Thank you forever and ever to the very best betas ever, and I mean ever. They always come in clutch, and not only are they fantastic editors, hypemen, and people, they are fantastic writers themselves. Please check out their profiles and their works and leave them some love! You won't be disappointed.

PhoenixPyres

TheFowlestOfThemAll

JasonBall34

Storiesof_Avalon

Upper Levels, Haven City

Mulberry Row Condominiums

Apartment 224

It was around 9 AM Haven Standard Time when Artemis jolted awake from his slumber, bright eyes catching the ceiling first, streams of soft light dancing across the white panels. He blinked a few times, stirring from the daze of sleep quickly. Rather than drowsy, Artemis actually felt alert; on-guard, as if prepared for danger. This must be how Holly feels, given her training.

Holly.

He suddenly felt the weight of the elf curled on him, still nestled peacefully into his neck. Artemis' cheeks colored deeply. They were… very close, more than he'd realized before falling asleep. He'd been so delirious, he hadn't even noticed their embrace. He couldn't help a small, nervous smile tugging at his lips as he stole another glance at her. Bright, auburn strands of wavy hair blocked his view of her face, but he could feel her warm breath on his cool skin.

She heard you.

His smile crumbled. The sting of the conversation hours before seeped back into his mind, weighing down his shoulders.

Oh. Right.

Artemis sighed, resting his head against the sofa. He mindlessly ran his fingers through her soft locks, watching tiny flecks of dust float in the artificial rays of morning light in the air. He thought about what to do. Was staying in Haven wise? Beneficial? What could he realistically do here? It wasn't fair to put his burdens on Holly. No. He wouldn't allow it.

The problem was getting her off of him without waking her up. Knowing her "ninja training", as she jokingly called it, this would be more difficult than it sounded. Artemis took a quick exhale and slowly moved up, reaching his arms under hers to lift her up.

Okay. Good so far. He leaned her petite frame against the sofa so she curled into the cushion instead. She did so happily, making a small noise as she buried her face into the seat.

Artemis sighed with relief, and also out of a fondness he couldn't help. Why was she suddenly so charming when he was at his lowest low? Of all the times. He crawled back, preparing to tip-toe off into her bedroom for his things when his sweater was yanked back, halting him from behind.

"Where are you going?"

Artemis nearly broke out in anxious laughter. "Hellfire, Holly. You really are a ninja, aren't you?"

Holly raised a strong brow at him, her expression still sleepy. "You think my training is a joke, Astroboy?" she grinned, squeal-yawning halfway through. "Why're you being suspicious?"

"What?" Artemis nearly cracked, turning to face her. "I just didn't want to wake you."

"Uh-huh," Holly let go of him, stretching her limbs out. "Likely story. Don't think you're going anywhere."

Artemis blinked. How did she know what he was up to? "You're more perceptive than I remember," he admitted blankly, sitting opposite her.

"I know you," Holly groaned, crossing her arms. "I know you probably feel bad about everything and want to leave, right?"

"Holls…" Artemis cleared his throat, keeping his gaze on the rug. "I… I appreciate you treating me normally after that conversation. I have many reservations about the way it happened, but I can't change that now." He met her gaze, her eyes a mix of determination and pity. "I don't want to be pitied. And I don't want to interfere in your life any further than I already have. Since I've gotten back, nearly our entire time together has been more about me than you, and I just can't allow that to continue."

He crawled to his feet, strolling towards her bedroom. "I will find my own arrangements-"

"Sit down."

Artemis ignored her, moving into her bedroom. The room was minimalistic like the rest of her flat, a white, full-sized bed in the center with two, wall-length windows adorning the parallel wall, a small balcony peeping the other side of the glass. He lifted his duffle bag when he heard Holly much closer now.

"Artemis," she warned from her doorway, leaning against it to block his path. "You're not going anywhere."

"You can't make those decisions for me," Artemis said, throwing the bag over his shoulder.

"Too bad. I'm going to," Holly insisted, shrugging casually. "I wouldn't suggest trying to get around me. Frond knows you can't dodge a punch to save your life-"

"You can't keep me here, Holly," Artemis sighed. He took a few steps towards her, his feet light on the birch flooring. "I'll stay in touch-"

"Artemis Fowl, I am officially placing you under suicide watch," Holly asserted, crossing her arms defiantly in his way.

"Eh?"

"You're not to leave this city unless there is a zombie apocalypse, an alien invasion, or the mudmen come raging," she shrugged, a playful subtlety on her lips. "But I don't see any of those three happening anytime soon, so I guess you're stuck here with me."

"Suicide watch?" Artemis snorted. "That was nearly two years ago, you know. And I haven't done anything similar since."

Holly arched a dubious brow. "You literally got yourself kidnapped by Yakuza six days after coming back from space…"

Artemis grabbed his forehead, growing weary of the conversation. "How are those two even remotely related?"

"You clearly don't value your life the way you used to," Holly stated firmly. "Maybe being in a new place with a new culture is what you need. I mean, what do you have to lose at this point, other than your pride?"

Artemis thought about it for a few moments. He appreciated Holly's ability to be cut-throat, despite the bruise to said pride, but he also worried she didn't understand his perspective. Learning about the People could warrant some fascinating sociological studies into their culture and lifestyle as fairies, but what else could he realistically do?

"I assume that your Commander hasn't granted me a work visa, correct?" Artemis asked, slinging his bag back down on her bed. "What would I do here? Other than being your full-time housekeeper."

"I could use a housekeeper," Holly joked, her serious expression breaking into a smile after a second. "Okay, okay. Sorry. Well, you're right. Trouble won't let you work under the People, but he did say you can work for yourself. I have a few ideas…"

Artemis wasn't sure whether to be curious or horrified. "I'm not sure I'm going to like your ideas, Holly."

He most definitely didn't. Within the next hour, they'd gotten dressed casually, Holly in athletic leggings, a shoulderless turtleneck and boots, and Artemis in a lightweight Zegna-brand button-down and trouser combo. After opening his Haven City bank account, she'd brought them to Haven's independent workforce center to find Artemis employment. There hadn't been many options for the overachiever genius, despite his skill set and intelligence. They'd concluded that working under an app as a personal grocery shopper would work best for the time being.

"You get to pick your own hours, pick your own orders, and you can cash out instantly!" Holly explained, reading off the description from her phone outside of a work booth at the center. "You can make up to 100 alums an order, plus you can see more of the city. Doesn't that sound great?"

"100 alums?" Artemis asked doubtfully. "I'm afraid I'm still unfamiliar with your currency."

"Uh…" Holly did a quick calculation on her fingers. "It's like, 60! Not bad, right?"

Artemis' eyes widened a bit fearfully. "60… per order?" he gulped. "I don't think I can do this."

"Arty, shhh. You'll do just fine," she insisted, jogging over to the clerk waving her over. She picked up a small package from the tree elf clerk and strolled back to Artemis towards the entrance. "Besides, you're not great at working for people. This is easy and you can make some quick cash while you find something else."

"Can't I just work with Foaly?" Artemis queried as he walked alongside her, ignoring the stares and gapes from fairies passing through. "I'll even take a position as an assistant at this rate."

"I won't tell him you said that. Besides, I already tried and Trouble said no," Holly snickered, patting his arm. "Everything's gonna be okay. Don't worry."

"I am worried," he sighed. "Very worried."

"Absolutely not."

"OH MY GODS. YES."

Holly and Artemis were positioned on the other side of her 6-foot bedroom mirror. Unfortunately for Artemis, he was clad in his new shopper uniform: a cream-colored baseball cap sat atop his bed of raven hair, a similarly cream polo shirt with brown trim stretched tight across his broad shoulders, a brown apron fitted to his gangly hips. He especially frowned at the bear paw embroidery on the left corner of his shirt labeled in Gnommish "Cub's Deliveries."

"Am I a joke to you?"

"No! It fits you perfectly," Holly reassured him, trying to show him she was taking him seriously in his uniform. "Considering all they had in your size was a Centaur Large, I'd say the fit is… well, it's fit…" She blinked. She couldn't help but focus her attention over his shoulders for a moment. Space hadn't been exactly kind to him, as he was even leaner than before. But she couldn't deny his shoulders nicely filled out the polo stretched taut across his chest, though that might've been because the uniform was too small for him. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Get your shit together.

"So!" She clapped her hands together, looking at their reflections. "How do you feel?"

"Depressed." Artemis turned to Holly seriously. "I will not go out like this. Especially given that your people know who I am."

"Honestly, this might make the girls like you even more," she offered with a smile, punching his arm playfully.

"I don't need help in that department," Artemis side-glanced her, a mixture of smugness and irritation smeared on his face. "I do, however, need a job that won't make me dress as a man-child."

He doesn't need help getting girls? Just how many girls has he been with? Holly looked at his shoulders again and nearly slapped herself. He's in distress. Stop it.

"You're overthinking it," Holly insisted, covering her embarrassment with a bright smile. "You look fine."

"You're making a mockery of me," Artemis whined, vexed as he tore off the baseball cap and tossed it on her bed. "I'm an esteemed scientist. A doctor. An astronaut. This is disgraceful."

"Arty, 100 or 200 alums an hour is not a bad wage to make for yourself on your own time," Holly rolled her eyes, exasperated with his privileged thinking. She understood where he was coming from. Anyone who knew of the Fowl name knew the amount of wealth carried with it. Regardless, she wished he wouldn't be arrogant.

"At that rate, my salary would roughly equate 57,600. That's pitiful," he groaned, straightening his back and giving Holly a determined stare. "I'm not doing it."

"Artemis," Holly started, her brow twitching in irritation and her jaw set. "I only make 45,000 a year…"

"You can't be serious," Artemis objected, baffled. "That is entirely too low for everything you do, given your skill set."

"Welcome to the real world," Holly said, wandering through the living room into the bare kitchen.

"Have you asked for a raise?"

"HAH! Have I asked for a raise," Holly sneered, shaking her head as she looked through her fridge. "You really think I haven't asked for a raise, Astroboy?"

"Well, I don't know, I suppose," he admitted, sauntering into the kitchen after her as he pondered. "I've always been fortunate enough to have access to greater opportunities. I figured you'd be the same with Commander Kelp as your boss. Don't you get paid a bit more?"

"That assumption couldn't be more wrong," Holly scoffed, eyes scanning for anything edible left in the chilly box. "Besides, if you're really worried about salaries and want some hefty cash, you could always sell your Tesla."

"No."

"It's not like you're using it."

"I don't know how long I'll remain here. I'd prefer to keep a vehicle on the surface."

"Whatever," Holly sighed, closing her fridge door defeatedly. "Anyway, I have no food. Wanna get something?"

"Not dressed like this," Artemis said, pedaling back into her bedroom to survey the walk-in closet of freshly-hung clothing. He'd only brought some of his favorites, as he'd rely on his portable printer to create new garments. He ripped the uniform shirt off his torso and placed it on a wood hanger, shooting another grimace at the bear paw stitch.

He opted for a powder blue linen button-down, throwing a navy blazer over on top. He stepped out from the closet, ruffling his fingers through his inky locks to wrap his hair in a low bun before he stopped in the mirror again.

"Do you happen to know a barber, perchance?"

Lower Levels, Haven City

Crystal's Curries, Milk District

As it happened, Holly did know several barbers, but she did her best to convince Artemis she could cut his hair herself. 'Do you trust me?' was the line she liked to use against him to guilt him into submission, but she simply didn't think he understood necessities versus luxuries. Curry, however, was a food, and if you were a living being, food was most definitely a necessity.

So, the two friends sat across from each other outside an old-fashioned, corrugated camper-turned food truck on the outskirts of Haven. They were situated in the Milk District, a trendy and hip region for younger fairies in the lower end of the city. From their bench, Artemis could see the canal waterways bubble alongside the cobblestone streets, leading out to the giant freshwater spring that steamed below them. The cavern had a water system that was boiled by the magma flares a few times a day, with the waterways and pipe-installed stalactites transferring the city's main water source.

Spices clung to the air as the city's ceiling panels reflected a foggy, bleak sky with the eatery's string lights twinkling above them, Haven's massive skyscrapers circling them in the distance. Younger, more alternative fairies littered the eatery's benches, an assortment of dyed neon hair, holographic makeup and facial piercings sported by the youth as they slurped down their bowls. It didn't take long for people to start noticing the taller human amongst them though, inciting a few pointed fingers and whispers.

Artemis scratched his stubble nervously as he observed the fairies around them. "Fowl and Fairy is popular, I take it?"

"Mmm, sorta," Holly replied indifferently, her eyes fixed to the tiny holoscreen between them. She selected a vegan coconut green curry and sighed, resting her heart-shaped face in her palm. "But if people are staring, it's probably just because you're a human."

A few girls giggled in the corner, and Artemis glanced over his shoulder at them. A dark, curly-haired elf amongst the fairies winked a golden eye at him, waving at him with delicate, gold-laced fingers.

"It appears I won't need that dreadful uniform to 'make girls like me even more,' after all," he smirked at Holly, using air quotes a little too slyly for her taste.

"Can you just order already, ladykiller?" Holly scowled, playfully rolling her eyes.

"Contrary to the joke I made earlier, Holly," Artemis started, browsing the menu on the mini-screen between them. "I am nothing of the sort, unfortunately."

"Oh?! I thought you don't make jokes," she grinned, swinging her legs under the table. "And I don't know. You scored Minerva," Holly shrugged, leaning on her elbows. "That's a pretty big feat if you ask me."

"Right. Well, considering she also broke up with me, I'd consider that null and void."

"Can I ask you something kinda personal?" Holly asked before she could stop herself, scratching at her chin curiously.

Artemis hesitated. "That depends what it is, I suppose."

Holly squinted at him, analyzing him for a bit. She eventually sighed and cupped her chin again. "Nevermind. It's too awkward."

Artemis raised a fluffy brow, intrigued now. "No, no - now you've piqued my interest." He selected a potato yellow curry on the screen, hoping for the best. He turned his piercing eyes on Holly. "What is it?"

Holly's cheeks burned a little and she chewed her lip, causing her mouth to pout. The question was embarrassing, but she couldn't admit she felt a little nosy. "Okay, I don't mean to pry… but… was Minerva your first?"

Artemis nearly choked on his water. His pale cheeks flushed a little as he fixed his gaze back at her. "Oh. That's…"

"See?! I told you," Holly chuckled, hiding behind her hand. "Awkward."

"You're making it awkward," he grinned, tapping manicured fingertips on the metal table. A bustling, chunky elf wobbled over to them just then, silencing the wide-eyed pair in place.

The waiter placed their curries before the two before doing a double take at Artemis. "Ay!" the male elf said in Gnommish, peering at the human closely. "Ain't you that guy? Artemis Fowl, right?" He jabbed his thumb in Holly's direction. "And you. You that offica', right? 'olly Short?"

He smiled between the two. "What the 'eck is a hooman doin' in 'aven?!" The elf patted Artemis' shoulder. "You speak Gnommish, Fowl?"

Artemis looked at Holly, almost for reaffirmation before he answered. "Uh-" Idiot, did you just utter 'uh?'

Artemis smiled, extending his hand. "Hello," he answered in Gnommish. "Yes, I speak Gnommish, as you can hear."

The elf looked astonished towards Holly as he shook his first human hand. "Wow! 'is Gnommish is good! Did you teach 'im?"

"He taught himself," Holly answered before Artemis could, winking at the Irishman. "He's good at that kind of thing."

"Ahh, a genius, right?" The chunky elf flashed them an innocent, large smile with crooked teeth. "T'ere's a strange accent t'ough! What's t'at?"

"Irish," Artemis replied quickly before Holly could answer for him again. "I haven't picked up a fairy dialect like yours just yet, unfortunately." He blew at his soup, trying to distance himself a little from the attention he was attracting.

The elf was empathetic, however, and seemed to notice this. He patted the table top, giving them another big smile. "Irish! Now, t'at's a good one. Well, I'll leave ya two be. I'm sure ya been bot'a'd enough today. Enjoy tha' curry on the 'ouse!"

"Thank you," Holly and Artemis said in unison, snapping to each other.

"Jinx," Holly shouted, pointing at him. "I jinx you."

As the jolly elf waddled away, Artemis chuckled, blowing on his broth. "No, by the way."

"No, what?"

Artemis raised a brow at Holly. It took her a few moments to register what he was answering to - then it hit her.

"OH!" she stumbled. Then she thought about it. "Oh? Wait… really?!" she gaped at him.

"Really," he admitted, and Holly could tell he was embarrassed. "I may be a genius, but I definitely don't make perfect decisions."

"Okay… I'm gonna need this story!" Holly chimed, her laugh light and airy.

Artemis gave an awkward smile. "I may as well share it with you, considering you already know everything else about me. I have nothing to lose now," he shrugged, sipping a bit more on the creamy, yellow broth. "This is actually quite nice."

"Right?! This place is pretty good. The area is a bit sketchier but the crowd is fun," Holly commented, swinging her legs up on the bench. "Ok! Storytime."

"Well," Artemis sighed, sinking a bit forward. "It was my 20th birthday. It was a pretty lonely day, to be honest. So I, well," he chuckled, embarrassingly rubbing his tapered jaw in the memory. "I stupidly went to Temple Bar that night."

"Oh no," Holly grinned, intrigued.

"Oh, yes. It wasn't really my, eh, 'scene', you could say," he mused, stirring his soup. "So, I had a few Jamesons - I am Irish, after all - and on my way out, a young woman from Derry stopped me, and, well…"

"She came with you?" Holly asked, leaned forward with brows raised.

Artemis just nodded, his throat tight. "Not my proudest moment, I'll admit."

"Very interesting," Holly gawked at him with a teasing grin. "So? How was it?"

"She never spoke to me again," Artemis winced, chuckling a little as he avoided her intense gaze. "I think that says enough."

"Oh, yikes!" Holly slapped her knee, her tease morphing into a shit-eating grin. "My heart's breaking for you, Astroboy." She shook her head in disbelief. "No offense, but this is kinda surprising. I never expected that sort of thing from you."

"Why not?" Artemis inquired, nibbling a potato.

"You're just so… reserved," Holly shrugged. "Like, you always think with your head and not your hormones."

"Well, the Jameson had me beat that night, I suppose," he joked. "Why do you ask anyway, Holls? What sparked your interest in my virginity?" His smile transformed vampiric at that moment, his electric gaze glowering into her.

"Uhhh…" Holly froze, curried coconut dripping from her spoon. What's that look? I haven't seen that look before. "I don't know. Just nosy, I guess…" she mumbled lazily, her cheeks turning that familiar shade of dark coral.

But after the uncharacteristic few days he'd had, he decided to just roll with it. Artemis leaned forward slightly, his height allowing him to reach Holly closer than a fairy could over the table. "Well, if we're going to brave this subject, how about you, Holly?" Artemis asked coolly, trying his best to appear controlled. "Was your first time with the Commander?"

Holly nearly snorted her soup out of her nose, coughing and swiftly hiding her face. "For Frond's sake, Artemis!" she laughed, refusing to meet his eyes. "I never imagined we'd be having this conversation."

"Don't play coy, Holly," Artemis sneered. "You started this conversation-"

"I know!" she laughed nervously, still hiding her face goofily. "I know. I…well… no," she admitted behind her hand, eyeing Artemis through graceful fingers. "He wasn't. Shit," she giggled softly. "I, uhm- it was in the Academy." She giggled again uncomfortably, all the while maintaining her elfish charm.

"What was that, Commodore?" Artemis questioned, enjoying his banter with her. It was one of the many things he enjoyed about Holly. "Could you speak up? I'm afraid I can't understand you."

"No, Arty," Holly whispered, still giggling uncontrollably. "I-" she dropped hot curry onto her thigh just then, yelping in surprise. "Oh fuck! "

"Well, yes. That's the subject-"

"Artemis fucking Fowl," Holly warned, still laughing. "I swear to Frond-"

"So, the Academy, was it?" Artemis mused, his eye contact on her beet red face. "And how did that go?" Artemis probed, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Holly thought about it for a minute. "Awkward," she concluded, an embarrassed smile gracing her lips. "And painful."

"Awkward is one I am familiar with," Artemis agreed with a nod, tapping the water glass with lithe fingertips. "Painful, thankfully, not so much."

"Yeah, well, just be lucky you've got the pole and not the hole."

Artemis reddened, but mustered what confidence he could. "I must say, Holls: this is very bold of you, asking me this in public and all. I'm not sure what to think of this conversation."

"Good! Maybe I'll talk about sex more so you think less."

"I-" Artemis froze, his brows furrowing. "That wasn't-" He gripped his forehead, his own cheeks reddening now. "Nevermind."

Holly threw her head back, pumping her fist. "I love stumping the great Artemis Fowl."

Artemis laughed, shaking his head to clear the embarrassment before leaning back in his seat. He set his full, devious gaze on Holly, delicate fingertips tapping the metal tabletop. "Consider me stumped if you'd like, but this conversation has been quite educational for me. It's been very eye-opening."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure it has," Holly chortled. She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Don't get any fancy ideas, Mudman." Even as she said it, though, she couldn't help where her mind wandered. She had to kick herself to snap out of it. Get a hold of yourself. He's Artemis.

Their exchange of jokes and insults eventually died down, their bowls of curry nearly emptied and their bellies filled. As they prepared to leave, Artemis dropped 40 on the metal table when Holly grasped his forearm.

"What're you doing?" she asked, puzzled.

Artemis was equally puzzled at her puzzlement. "I'm tipping him…?" he stated in a way that was also questioning her motives for stopping him. "Is that not-?"

Holly let go of him, her brows furrowed. "Oh. That's kinda weird, but nice of you, I guess."

"Do fairies not participate in a tipping culture?" he asked, fixing his blazer cuffs.

"That's not something I've seen before," she revealed. "But I won't stop you."

"He seemed like a good person, and, however questionable it may have been, I rather enjoyed the meal," Artemis stated, following her up a flight of stairs to climb a few streets. "You have currency conversion devices, don't you?"

"Yeah," Holly replied ahead of him. "Alums are our digital currency. It's the most popular. Gold's sometimes used but it's kind of outdated."

"I figured as much. Gold isn't as easily attainable as it was once," Artemis sneered a little at her from behind, neon lights from signs overhead streaked across his pale face. "But fairies can't help chasing shiny things, I suppose."

Holly smirked at him from over her shoulder. "Apparently, some humans can't help it either," she retorted back, winking at him.

"Touché ," Artemis smiled, picking up his gait to walk alongside her. "Aurum est potestas."

Upper Levels, Haven City

Mulberry Row Condominiums

Apt 224

"Is it too late to change my mind?"

"Oh, hush up and hold still," Holly insisted, grabbing the small ponytail at the nape of Artemis' neck.

It was nearly sunset in Haven now as orange light streamed into her room, the two positioned in front of her bedroom mirror. Artemis was seated in a kitchen chair that was much too small for him, while Holly leaned over him with a sharp pair of scissors and an equally sharp smile. He had agreed to let her cut his hair, but her sudden enthusiasm gave him doubts.

"Surely I can spend a few alums on a professional?" he suggested, trying to leave his seat but was swiftly shoved back down.

"Artemis, I've had short hair longer than you've been alive," Holly declared, brow raised and hip shifted to one side. "I think I can cut your hair just fine." She grabbed his ponytail again, enjoying the look of fear on his face a little too much.

"I'm not sure that makes me feel better, to be perfectly honest," Artemis said with a cringe that slivered up his spine.

"Relax, Arty," Holly said, raising her scissors to his ponytail. "It's just hair. It's not like it won't grow back if anything happens."

He silenced, giving in and allowing her to continue. Holly held his ponytail taut and snipped, allowing his raven locks to float to the floor. A flock of hair floofed forward, sitting on top of his head. Holly ran her fingers through the soft mane. "You have a lot of hair for a Mudman. Good genes. Then again, your parents are really attractive people."

"I suppose," Artemis shrugged, more concerned over the haircut she was going to give him. "Just don't embarrass me anymore than I already am, please."

Holly rolled her eyes. "Come on, Arty," she groaned, leaning against the seat. "You ought to have more faith in me."

"I do. Go on," he nodded, sitting up right. "I trust you… sort of."

"Shhh." She ruffled his hair again. "What do you want? Or are you giving me free reign?"

"I don't care, Holls," Artemis exasperated, anxious and over it. "Do whatever you think works. Just, don't turn me into Butler, please."

"So, I can turn you into an e-boy?"

"A what?"

"Nothing. Nevermind," she interjected quickly, deadpan as she began snipping at his longer locks. She didn't want to buzz him down exactly, as she had a certain vision in her mind's eye for him, but she did whip out her clippers. When Holly saw his eyes widen, she laughed a little.

"Relax, Arty. I've got this." She placed a small, calloused hand over his eyes. "Do you trust me?" He nodded. "Keep them closed 'til I finish, okay?"

"Holly-"

"You trust me?!" she reiterated, gripping his hair playfully tight. She saw him gulp and nod again, and she formed an impish smile. "Good." She removed her hand, his eyes still shut.

He was still without complaint as he allowed her to create an undercut on his sides, and layer the back of his hair. She nibbled her lip in concentration as she finished by parting his middle, trimming off any excessively long strands. "Okay… I think I'm done. You can look."

Artemis dreaded what he may see, and slowly peeked one eye open. It wasn't… terrible. But it was… well… Both brilliant blue eyes snapped open and his dark brows furrowed together. "I… look like I'm in a boy band."

"No, you do not-" Holly looked again, snickering behind her hand. "Oh, well… yeah, maybe a bit."

"Holly-" Artemis whined, eyes widening at her. "I trusted you."

"It doesn't look bad, Arty!" she reassured him, lifting her palms in her defense. "You make it work, honestly."

"I'm finding a barber tomorrow," Artemis sighed, ruffling his curtained bangs back, looking in the mirror once more. "I can't make a complete fool of myself."

Holly stopped him with her palms to his chest, her laugh a joyous chime. "Arty, it really looks good! Look-" she pushed him back so he fell back into the chair and she swept his parted bangs back. The voluminous hair sat in place on his head, and Holly met his gloomy gaze in the mirror. "You can style it back like this if you want to. I know you used to be fond of this style." This incited a groan and eye roll from him but she continued. "Or, you can let it fall forward. I know you've been in space a few years, but this is pretty on-trend at the moment."

"I don't really care for trends, Holly," Artemis admitted sourly, blinking at the sleek locks in his eyes. He batted at the bangs, sweeping them back up on his head. "I prefer class, and efficiency."

"I'm sure long hair in space wasn't classy or efficient."

"Right. Well, that stemmed from laziness… and it's cut now, so." Artemis stood, shaking his head out so snippets of hair flew off his person. "Thank you. I will think about keeping it. For now, I won't guarantee anything, so, no promises."

"Fineee." Holly strolled by him, satisfied as she twirled the scissors between her fingers. Suddenly, she had an idea. She set the scissors down and strolled back over to him. She blocked Artemis' path to challenge her taller friend. "Promise me this, though," she started, lifting a finger with a look that was determined (and endearing) enough to catch his full attention.

"But I don't like making promises-"

"Shhh. Hear me out," she persisted. "Promise me, that for the amount of time you're in Haven, you will try something new every single day." She took a step back, raising her palms casually. "That's it. Sounds easy enough, right?"

"Something… new?" Artemis played with his bangs again, the prospect of a challenge exciting. "New, within what context?"

"A new food, a new movie, a new activity, a new experience," Holly shrugged, patting his forearm. "As long as it's something you've never done before, even if it's something you wouldn't normally do."

Artemis peered down at her, observing their height difference while the moment lasted. The top of her head only reached his abdomen, and as she batted her long lashes innocently at him, he felt his heart swell with affection. Why was she having this effect on him today? But he gave in, and smiled weakly under her spell. "Alright. I'll do it."

Holly blinked. "Wait, really?" She leaned into him on her tip-toes, squinting at him with a pointed finger. "That was too easy. What's the catch?"

"No catch," Artemis chuckled from amusement. "I'll try it out. Like you said earlier: I have nothing to lose."

"No secret schemes? Hacking government surveillance?" She leaned in as close as her height would allow. "No supercharged artelite world domination power grids?"

Artemis gave a deep, hearty laugh; the kind he only gave maybe once a year. "What're you on about now?" he asked as he took a few steps around her, strolling into her living room.

"I don't know!" she cried out, playfully throwing her hands in the air. "I never know what to expect with you anymore."

Holly shifted back slightly and leaned against the doorframe, watching the lean human saunter into her living room. She felt… relieved? She couldn't pinpoint the exact emotion but it was positive, and left her feeling hopeful. Artemis seemed happier since his confession. Lighter, easier to converse with. But was it a ruse? Was he actually hiding under the guise of happiness? She wasn't sure, but she couldn't ask either. It was too soon.

So, instead, a small smirk tugged at the corner of Holly's round lips. "So! I'm back at work tomorrow, and it'll be your first day!" She raised her brows playfully at him. "You excited?"

No less than 12 hours later, Artemis stood freshly shaved in the mirror in his cream polo and brown apron, thinking back to their conversation the night before. No, in fact. He wasn't excited. He frowned at his reflection as he fitted the baseball cap over his head, his curtain bangs poking out underneath.

Holly had already left for work for the day, leaving Artemis alone in her apartment. "This will be a great way for you to learn Haven's streets!" She had told him from behind the bathroom door, smushing herself into her emerald jumpsuit for the day's shift. "Best way to learn the People is to be amongst 'em!"

The Cub app was easy enough to operate on Artemis' Faetek phone. He slid the green Go Online! option on his screen and several batches appeared, ready to be taken. Some were close by but only worth 30 alums, while others were in the outskirts of the cavern, boasting 200 alums. He thought to himself as he perused his options defeatedly. This will never work. Who does Holly think I am?

Suddenly, an appealing option appeared. The batch was a convenience store order, was only a 6 minute walk from Holly's building, and the fairy only ordered two snacks. Best of all, it was worth 100 alums. Artemis swiped on it quickly, letting the app's GPS direct him to the store.

Artemis strode out of Holly's building trying to find the will to succeed, and ignore the ludicrous polo on him. He was a genius, a prodigy. Out of all the rockets, new minerals, new security systems, eternity codes and AIs he'd built in his lifetime, this would certainly be easy… right?

Upper Levels, Haven City

Corner Convenience Travel Stop

The Cub app had taken Artemis to a small store on the corner of a busy intersection. It was strange being stared and pointed at, but Artemis was glad the fairies were embracing him, and not trying to kill him. After dodging a few autographs and selfies, he found himself in the fifth aisle, looking between the app's screen and the merchandise. Cheesy puffs and hydro-tea? Easy enough. Artemis scanned the puffs and tea before following the app's instructions to head to the checkout. Was it really this easy? Artemis stood in line behind a tiny gremlin that watched the human with fearful eyes.

Artemis ignored him, waiting patiently as he looked around when his phone blared a loud beep. And beeped again. And again. He raised a brow as he unlocked the screen, several messages from the app awaiting him:

Twenty-five (25) items to add.

Customer A: Can u get me regular crunchies pls? i made a mistake i dont want puffs.

Customer A: also i added taro juice for toddler but my kiddo is 45 so if you can make it diet and 3 jugs thats great thanks

Customer A: also a pack of moss smokes. Green. I kno the app doesnt let u but just override it lul u can do that right?

Artemis furiously blinked at the screen. Surely, they couldn't be serious?

"Um… are you ready?" a pimply elf cashier with greasy hair asked Artemis with uncertainty, gaping at the famous human.

Artemis looked between the app and the items in his hands. "Yes," he decided, handing them to the cashier. "Just these two, please."

The teen elf nodded at the app on Artemis' screen. "You gonna add all those things?"

Artemis hesitated, then shrugged. "Let's just pretend they requested them too late."

The cashier shrugged and rang up the items. Surely it wouldn't go too badly, right?

Lower Levels, Haven City

Rural Outskirts, Zone 6

Artemis' first delivery ever ended with a prompt slam of the door to his face when he showed up with only two items. A 1 star rating followed soon after. But the money was in his account, so who cared? This customer was a fluke. The rest would be more reasonable, right?

Artemis learned very quickly it was neither a fluke, nor was this easy. There always seemed to be an issue, even when things were out of his hands. Was it his fault the store was out of tofu, so when he contacted the customer, he suggested perhaps seitan instead? Oh, but, nooo! It was "his fault" the store was out of stock, as if he was the inventory manager.

And after dealing with a barrage of unhappy customers, Artemis found himself in the outskirts of the city, grunting in irritation as he tugged several bags of groceries uphill to an old, fenced shack. The area was so far out that he was sure this was suspicious, but as Artemis' star rating dropped, so did his batch options. So, he was making do, and sucking it up like the typical adult.

He struggled to view the screen on his phone through the bags as he trudged along, blinking sweat from his eyes. Wet drips echoed off the walls as streams of springwater steamed alongside his loafers on the dank floor, the muggy air causing his tight polo to stick to his sweaty skin.

The shack was only a few hundred feet away now, with Artemis wondering what kind of hermit would live out here. Would it be a dwarf? Maybe a gremlin? He would never get his answer though, because an animalistic howl broke his thoughts. Artemis froze, eyes searching for what had made the noise. Finally, his eyes settled on two reflective dots in a small cave system hidden along the cavern wall. Artemis took one more step, just out of curiosity, when a large, rabid tunnel-wolf came sprinting out of the cave, its powerful paws charging through the boiling streams right for him.

Artemis didn't even yelp. Rather than become a snack himself, he just dropped the bags right there on the cavern floor and sped back towards the city, the groceries fallen victim to the vicious animal. Not today, Haven. Not today.

Upper Levels, Haven City

Malachite's Marketplace

He was dirty. He was sweaty. His loafers were ruined, but Artemis was determined. He was six deliveries deep, and he was too far in to turn back now.

Artemis had mixed feelings about the delivery service. Holly hadn't been wrong about it being a great way for Artemis to learn and explore the city; before long, he'd be as knowledgeable as a native. The job itself was actually proving to be somewhat cathartic for him. The entire service was like a puzzle: find all the items within a certain amount of time, and deliver said items to the person's location. That said, as much as Artemis enjoyed the tactical part of the job, he despised the idiocy of the recipients. He had hoped that the fairies would be brighter than the worst of his own species, but they seemed no different.

Customer B: can u get me caramel pops without the caramel?

Customer G: Can you please bag my 50 items individually per bag? So five items per bag individually so they each have their own bag with each of their own color zip-tie

Customer K: If you don't get here less than three minutes after paying and my ice cream melts, I am personally writing a letter to King Frond.

Customer Asshole 500: cAn I gEt OnE PoUnD oF wHiTE FiSh

It was infuriating . One pound of white fish? Just 'white fish'? "Imbecile," he muttered under his breath at the stall, glaring at the five different options of ethically-sourced white fish. "Do they not know how many species of 'white fish' exist? Not even a price for a reference."

Artemis glowered at icy displays in the bustling marketplace, mulling over what to do. If they have money to use this app, they obviously have money to spend. To simply state they just want 'white fish' obviously indicates they have little care for what I pick. Therefore, I must pick the most delectable option.

Of course, this meant that the hefty 64 alums-a-pound bluefin tuna was clearly the best choice, and, of course, the customer had not wanted a fish worth more than half a hundred alums, and promptly left Artemis his sixth 1 star of the day.

Sore, hot, and offended by his too-tiny polo shirt, Artemis took a break to huff and puff at a busy intersection across Haven's most bustling outdoor marketplace. Purple lights from the flashing billboard overhead pulsed across the city's 'Stick', the conveyor belt that transported thousands of pedestrians across the metropolis daily. Fairies stared at the Irishman as he leaned his shoulder against an acrylic light pole, scrolling through the app, annoyed with comments left by customers. Were these people both stupid and ungrateful? How was every delivery a disaster?

His right hand's fingers twiddled with themselves when they brushed over his sapphire ring. I should call Holly. She'll know what to do. Artemis flicked the jewel aside, allowing the comm to ring by his ear.

"Hey!" Holly answered on the second ring, her voice a soothing familiarity for him. "What's up?! How's the job going?"

"It's going terribly," Artemis admitted miserably, his head resting against the acrylic lamp post. "It's why I've called, actually."

"What happened? What's wrong?"

"I don't even know," he whined. "Some kind of cultural or language barrier would be my guess. According to your people, I'm the worst shopper they've ever seen."

They're probably not wrong. But Holly didn't say that. "I'm sure that's not true, Arty. What are they saying?"

Artemis frowned at the screen in his hand as he talked into the other. "They're complaining about my service, Holly, and their negative scores are affecting my pay rate. What else could it possibly be?"

"Okay, okay! Don't get cranky on me."

Artemis smiled a little, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Sorry. I've just never dealt with this level of irrationality and I think I need some advice. For example, one elf wanted milk chocolate. Milk chocolate, Holly," Artemis shuddered. "That's not even real chocolate. It's all sugar. Of course, there was a small chance she knew this - but not everyone can be a cultured genius - so I got her 98% organic cacao instead. Can you believe she was angry with me for getting her real chocolate? I tried to explain to her that I was doing her a favor, but she didn't understand."

Holly sat agape at her desk, eyes squinted and brows furrowed in disbelief. He couldn't be serious, right? "Artemis… she wanted milk chocolate and you got her something else."

"I got her the best option."

"Okay, but it wasn't her option…"

Artemis lifted off the post, observing the steamy, sleek streets around him. "Okay… I suppose I sort of see your point. But, oh, Holls, there was this one pixie," Artemis ranted, entranced by a rotating holo-sign for a movie theater above. "Listen to how idiotic this is-"

"Uh-huh."

"So, he orders a pound of white fish. Just like that. No specifics, no mention of what kind of white fish. So, naturally, I selected the best option for him, and he had the audacity to leave me 1 star," Artemis huffed, lifting his baseball cap to re-adjust the curtain bangs in his face.

"Wow," Holly leaned forward, brows lifted in surprise. "That's actually kinda shitty. What kind of fish did you get him?"

"Bluefin Tuna, of course."

"It wasn't expensive by any chance, was it, Artemis?"

Artemis hesitated. To Holly, and probably any other fairy, he assumed 64 alums was quite a lot. She had, again, another point. "Alright. I'm the issue, then," he sighed, frowning at the bear cub embroidery on his polo for the fiftieth time. "How do I remedy this?"

"Just get what people want, Arty," Holly shrugged, tracing her stack of shuttle logs in thought. "Stick to the order; nothing crazy expensive; suck up to them a bit. People like feeling special. Remember, it's not about you. It's about them. And don't get caught up in reviews. It's your first day. You're allowed to make mistakes, okay?"

"Thank you, Holly," Artemis said, looking back at his phone screen. Another batch finally appeared after an hour of nothing, and Artemis took it instantly without contemplation. "I feel better now. I'll do my best."

"See? That's the spirit!" Artemis could almost hear Holly's smile through the comm. "Call me back if you need anything, okay? You got this!"

And like that their phone call was over, leaving Artemis with his 7th delivery, anxious and determined to make it his best of the day.

Lower Levels, Haven City

Indigo's Tech and Supplies, Saw District

The 7th delivery led him to a sketchier part of the lower levels of the cyber metropolis. A rounded, deeper crevice stretched for miles amongst a plethora of grime-covered stalagmites, Haven's sim-sky a muted violet to beam a dim dusk onto the city. Cans and paper littered the humid onyx streets, steam rising from cave vents while half-naked fairy ladies advertised their dancing on holo-billboards, winking at sinful passerbys.

Beep beep. Artemis glanced at his phone, his heart swelling with excitement when a 5 star appeared on the app. "Finally, someone with sense," Artemis smiled, swiping to read the review.

Customer B: OOOMMGGGS MY DELIVERY BOY WAS ARTIMIS FOIL OMGS ARTEEMUS I LUV U MARRY ME! 3 #WORTHIT

Artemis blinked, his smile dropping into a pained grimace. He couldn't do this. He needed another job, and fast.

He focused forward, trekking down a large staircase carved from the black stone cavern floor, leading into a deeper section of the district.

The delivery had been simple so far, however random the items were. Duct tape, pliers, rope, two candles, a lighter, an acorn, and cashews rattled in the recycled plastic tote bag at Artemis' pale elbow. Artemis had no idea what this person needed these things for, but given the area, he had a handful of theories. The most likely swam around in his mind as he rounded a thin, brick alleyway, and he couldn't resist but sate the desire to plot up a few opportunities. That was if his theory was correct.

The Faetek phone blinked green as he came upon a plain storefront wedged into the rock wall. A small, white sign hung from the front door labeled 'Indigo's Tech and Supplies' .

"You have arrived at your destination," the GPS alerted him.

Artemis peeked into the store through the dirty glass pane in the door, curious if anyone was inside. This area of Haven was significantly shorter than the Upper Levels, and Artemis had to be careful not to hit his head on the sign inches from his brow. As his eyes squinted through the grimey glass, a voice like sucked-in helium startled him from behind.

"Uh, can I help you, bro?"

Artemis whipped around, sucking in a tight breath. A buff, green-skinned sprite hovered at his height, glaring at him with crossed arms as his wings flittered behind his vest. Artemis sighed with relief, feeling silly for being surprised. "Hi. Uh, as you can see-" He gripped the bear paw embroidery on his polo, "-I'm with Cub's Deliveries." He felt a cringe ripple through him, but he set his jaw, his eyes cool. "I have the items you ordered."

"Oh. Cool, great," the sprite shrugged, still stiff in front of Artemis. "Why the hell is there a human in Haven?"

Artemis smiled, excited to launch his plan into action. "Who wants to know?"

The sprite leaned into Artemis, his sharp teeth entangled in a smile confused between amused and threatened.

"Me."

"And who is me?"

"Palo," the sprite grunted, flexing his biceps and raising his height a little taller than Artemis. "Palo Winkle."

"Palo Winkle," Artemis repeated incredulously, doing his best not to laugh. "Great to meet you. Fantastic name, by the way."

"So?" Palo probed impatiently. "Who are you, why do you speak Gnommish, and what the hell are you doing in Haven?"

"I have similar questions for you. Who do you work for, and what are you doing with these items?" Artemis asked with a raised brow, lifting the bag to showcase it in the fairy's face.

"What about 'em?" Palo shrugged, and Artemis could tell he was being vigilant. "I'm going camping with my lady in a few days. That a problem with you?"

"Of course not. Every man- er- fairy should be allowed serenity in nature with their loved ones. However," Artemis couldn't help but shift his smile into a smug smirk. "I do not believe that is the reason you ordered a delivery today."

The sprite's green eyes expanded just then with realization. "Ah, shit. I know who you are. People have been talking about you," he grinned. "You're Artemis Fowl, right? Human criminal mastermind?"

"That would be me," Artemis sighed, his gaze catching the city cameras hidden high on the stalactites above. I can get to those. He turned back to Palo. "You're a criminal too, no? Honor among thieves."

The sprite's grin turned dark, excitement glittering in his eyes. "You know, I think I like you."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah," Palo nodded, hovering a few feet away from the genius. "But, I gotta ask-" The sprite's green eyes become gold pools, bearing an intense, hypnotic gaze into Artemis' eyes. "Who are you working with? You paired up with Holly Short and the LEP?" He pushed the mesmer into Artemis' mind, enthralled with the idea of manipulating the human. But unbeknownst to Palo, no such mind-control would take place.

As the mesmer lay useless against Artemis' newest design of reflective contact lenses. He had designed them ages ago but had never gotten to fully test them out, so he couldn't resist the tinge of a cocky smile when they worked. He wouldn't just allow himself to be defenseless amongst the Fairy People as a human with no powers. Some measures needed to be taken. But, Palo didn't need to know that.

"I am not working with the LEP nor Holly Short, despite what the Fowl and Fairy films suggest. I work independently. On my own," Artemis said smoothly, careful to keep his eye contact consistent with Palo's.

Palo snorted. "Alright then. Easy enough." Palo tapped a tiny finger against his green lips. "You know, if you're as smart as people say, I think the big man might wanna meet you. If not to talk, maybe just for an autograph or something. That sound cool with you, bro?"

Palo glanced down, his bleached braids swinging with his jerky movements. "Oh, and I'll take that now." He reached out and Artemis handed him the grocery bag inside his tote. "You got cashews, right? Not peanuts?" He shot a look at Artemis. "I'm allergic to peanuts."

"No peanuts, Palo," Artemis confirmed. He observed the sprite's body language carefully to discern where the pair stood.

Palo rummaged through the bag and his wings' vibrations slowed, his shoulders relaxed. He lifted his head, nodding at Artemis. "Cool. Well, follow me, bro. And don't touch anything or talk to anyone, alright? Boss man's gonna wanna keep this on the down low."

Artemis nodded silently and followed Palo into the tech shop, forgetting to duck as he turned around, the dusty sign smacking into his face. Artemis groaned, rubbing his red-marked face as he ducked into the shop. This is how Butler must feel.

The shop itself had plain eggshell white walls and floors with outdated projectors, cameras and phones scattered across glass displays. A young, honey-haired elf nodded in greeting to Palo from behind a laminated counter when her features shifted, a puzzled gasp growing on her face at the human following behind the floating sprite. She remained silent, pursing her lips together nervously as she stared at them pass through a black curtain.

Palo whisped over to a tacky modern art canvas on the wall, unlatching it to pop off its side and placed his palm to the plain wall beneath. After five seconds, a green glow emanated from his hand, the false wall behind them shutting down it's hologram to grant the pair access to the metal door on the other side.

Palo jiggled his brows at Artemis proudly. "Cool stuff, huh? You gotta be the first human ever to step foot in here." Palo zipped over to the metal door, placing his palm to the scanner on the keylock.

The locks slithered and ticked, revealing an elevator on the other side. Artemis followed Palo inside without question, silently hoping he wasn't a fool and wasn't walking into a trap. The elevator only had one button and no numbers. And after a silent thirty second ride, the elevator doors slid apart slowly to expose its secrets beyond.

An entire underground marketplace thrived before Artemis' eyes, and Palo stepped out of the metal box, stretching his arms out before the human to showcase the hustle and bustle around them. "Welcome to The Black Alley, Haven's very own black market."

The Underground, Lower Levels, Haven

The Black Alley

Palo led them through a restless shop street as incandescent neon advertisements glared down on fairies from high above, acting as the Alley's sim-sky in a nighttime, dystopian-fashion. Artemis' wide eyes took in the hidden region of the city. Did Holly even know about this? Getting here couldn't be this easy, right?

But Artemis shook off his doubts, excitement and contentment washing over him like a warm dip in a bath after a long day. This was right. This was where he was meant to be.

He couldn't help a smile as he turned in circles, eager eyes jumping from observation to observation as he avoided bumping into rugged fairies. The air was stale but fragrant of barbecue and burnt rubber. Cyber reports on daily stocks from various smuggling schemes lit up one screen while others advertised daily sales at their shops. Auctions blared from one corner of the street while controversial, anarchist news broadcasted from another.

Artemis felt a tap on his shoulder and he broke from his awe, following the impatient sprite down the main road towards a massive stalagmite looming overhead. Alternating colors blinked in the windows of the building, glittering over all the alley like a psychedelic skyscraper.

Palo pointed up high at the central structure before them. "That's where we're going, 'kay? Stick close."

Artemis nodded again, opting to stay silent and analyze this new world instead. He tinkered on his Faetek phone as they neared the flashing stalagmite, its purple, magenta and cyan lights streaked like a beacon in the dim cavity of the earth. There didn't appear to be any visible cameras here, though Artemis was sure there was a hidden security booth tucked away somewhere, streaming live footage from every sketchy crevice of the black market. He'd managed to break through Foaly's firewalls and hack Haven's security camera system by the time they reached the tower. The centaur ought to be ashamed, honestly.

As his plan was manifesting and playing straight into his hands, Artemis smiled to himself. relieved to have that familiar cunning pride swell and swirl inside his chest once again.

Phobos Tower, The Black Alley

15th Floor

The human and sprite exited the rickety and rusty elevator operated by an old chain pulley system, and transitioned into the sleek lobby. Black stilettos clacked against the taupe marble floor as the magenta-haired receptionist approached them quickly.

"Welcome," she said calmly, despite her dark eyes drifting between the males alarmingly. She stared at Artemis, unsure if she was more bewildered by his humanity or his bear cub uniform. "Please come right this way."

"No need for the formalities, Keni," Palo droned, waving his hand as he hovered past her. "We'll just be in and out."

The three rounded a hallway when a tall, muscly pixie blocked their path in the doorframe. He wore an all-black tux and sported a silver ponytail with a buzzed side, flashing gold teeth at them in a smile, smoke billowing in the air from a packed cigar lit at his calloused fingertips.

"Hello, Artemis Fowl," the large pixie started, his voice deep and crackly from his smokes. "I have heard much of your recent arrival. Welcome to Haven. I believe we have much to discuss."

Artemis nodded, his own cunning smile flashing a pearly fang at the pixie male, alert eyes darkening under his baseball cap. "Greetings. I am sure that we do."