This chapter contains explicit language and harassment.

Thank you to my betas, who always come in clutch with the best advice and editing! Please check out their works if you haven't already!

Thefowlestofthemall

JasonBall34

PhoenixPyres

Please check out iesnoth's tumblr to see commissioned art of personal shopper Arty!

The Black Alley, The Underground

15th Floor, Phobos Tower

The elder pixie boss had led Artemis into a warm, dimly lit office while fairies Palo and Keni waited in the hallway. Purple cigar smoke wafted across the plexiglass-covered wall, exposing an overbearing view of the Black Alley below. The black, square frames in the window streaked olive light across the office floor from the medical signs looming overhead, casting an eerie glow amongst the violet smoke.

The Irishman removed his (stupid) baseball cap and sat across from the silver-haired pixie in a large antique armchair. Artemis elegantly crossed his legs, steepling his fingers as inquisitive eyes set on the large male. "So, what can I do for you…?"

The pixie threw a gold-filled smile at the genius, reaching a suited arm forward. "Goliath Knopp, at your service."

Artemis shook the male's hand. "Goliath Knopp. Quite a name you have there. Is it real?"

Goliath nodded, the gold chain around his black dress-shirt rattling against his chest. "It is. My mother said I nearly tore her apart coming out," he chuckled at the memory. "So, she named me Goliath." He leaned forward onto his desk, a silver brow raised curiously. "I must ask, what is a human doing in Haven? And, why are you working for a delivery service?"

Goliath nearly laughed, gold glinting underneath a curled lip. "Your skill set is rather impressive, no? Surely there is something else for you here."

"Much agreed," Artemis nodded, tugging at the embroidery on his shirt in disgust. "This is only my second day in Haven. And, the delivery service brought me to you. Despite it being a degrading ruse, the lower my ratings, the lower into the city it brought me. It worked as I intended."

"I see. So you used this service to locate us," the pixie boss nodded. "Very clever. But that doesn't answer my first question: what brings you to Haven?"

Artemis took a quick breath. Improvisation was one of his many skills, and he confidently leaned against the armchair, his back straight and blue eyes alert. "I am unsure of your intel on me, but I arrived from space a week ago. I spent the last five years exploring the moon and Mars. I've already started business ventures on the surface, but I would like to expand within the fairy world as well. Cover all my bases, so to speak," he winked through a half-truth. It wasn't a lie if it was mostly true, right?

"How are you allowed to stay here, if I may ask? You must be friends with the LEP," Goliath concluded, spidery nails tapping the desk.

"I wouldn't say friends is the right word. Allies is better." Artemis gave a tight-lipped smile, the edge of his eyes creasing. He needed to lead the conversation quickly or he would diminish the boss' trust. "Mr. Knopp, is there a particular reason you're meeting with me? I don't believe you're the type of fairy to request autographs."

Goliath stood from his desk and turned his back to the man, his arms crossed behind him as he looked out into the neon alley below. "Since you're aware of your celebrity status in Haven, it is not the fact that you are a celebrity that intrigues me. It is the reason why you are." He turned to face Artemis, lifting his cigar off the ashtray and taking a violet puff. "Do you know what we do here, Mr. Fowl? May I call you that?"

Artemis nodded. "Dr. Fowl is more accurate, but you may address me however you see fit." The sapphire ring on his finger vibrated just then, but Artemis ignored it. "Palo mentioned I was famous for my criminal past."

"Yes, as well as your superior intellect," Goliath nodded. "I think having you on our side would be most advantageous, don't you think? I know you passed Palo's mesmer . Would I be right in thinking we can trust each other?"

"I would like for us to trust each other," Artemis started. "However, we have only just met. As far as I am concerned, I am useless against your magick, so for me to trust you so quickly would be unwise. However, we can remedy this. I do something for you, and you do something for me?"

Goliath liked where this was going. He leaned in. "And what's that?"

"Take me into your organization, and I will clean any money you currently have, as well as reduce your debts." Artemis hid a smirk behind steepled fingers. "Sounds simple enough, yes?"

"It's that easy, is it?"

"As easily as you let me in here. Yes."

"And I can trust you?"

"Would you like to have me mesmerised?" Artemis tested, acting offended in jest.

Goliath smirked in response and nodded to himself, sitting back down as he mulled it over. After a few seconds and a few more violet cigar puffs, he called out, "Palo! Keni! Get in here."

As the sprite and pixie emerged through the doorway, Goliath motioned his cigar at the human. "Palo, introduce Dr. Fowl here to the Phobos Company, will you? Keni, will you set up his arrangements in the meantime? Give him a space to work, a computer, whatever he needs." Goliath turned back to Artemis, reaching his hand forward again. "How about you look around first, then tell me how you like it?"

"Of course," Artemis stood, shaking the pixie's hand. "I appreciate the hospitality."

Palo the sprite led Artemis out of the office, patting the human's shoulder. "What did I tell ya? Told you he'd like ya."

"So, what do you do here, Palo?" Artemis asked as he walked alongside the winged fairy. "You seem like a people person."

Palo flew backwards as he faced Artemis, his emerald wings vibrating like a hummingbird. "You really are good, huh? That's right. I'm known as the talker. And this here-"

They reached the end of the carpeted hallway, Palo throwing open the wooden door at the end. "-is our breakroom! Lemme find him real quick." He zipped around the dim room, looking between different doors when he "aha'd!" at one. "Jewels! I knew I'd find you in here!"

Artemis walked up behind Palo, observing the dwarf in the small closet. The dwarf's bum-flap greeted them, his big head embedded in a nearly empty mini-fridge.

The dwarf, Jewels, was smaller than Mulch but equally as hairy and smelly. He squinted two beady eyes at Artemis. "Tha' hell?"

Palo grinned and opened a palm at the human. "Say hello to our newest recruit! Jewels, meet Artemis Fowl. Artemis, meet our dwarf, Jewels."

Artemis kept his distance behind Palo, nodding a head in acknowledgement. "Nice to meet you, Jewels. With a name like that, I'm assuming you're a thief?"

Jewels jammed a thumb at Artemis but looked at Palo in bewilderment. "Wow," he gasped. "He really is a genius, huh?"

Artemis' brow twitched, irritated that he couldn't tell if the dwarf was serious or sarcastic. He opted for silence instead, nodding awkwardly to let Palo take the lead. Eventually, Palo had led Artemis around the floors of Phobos Tower, introducing him to the colorful cast of 'company' members.

So far, they'd met with hyperactive pixie "driver" Beebo Bumble fixing a motor in the basement garage; the "collector" sprite Pauly Sow in the lounge; the "gunsmith" pixie/gnome hybrid Bones tinkering on a laser rifle in the armory; and finally, Palo ended the tour in the gym on the 6th floor.

"I don't like you," were Meatball's first words when Palo introduced the human. Gnommish hip-hop boomed around the gym as the stocky pixie did one more rep. He dropped his barbell to the mat, mean-mugging the genius in the gym's mirror.

"Ahh, come on, Meatie!" Palo shrugged, patting a thick, muscled shoulder. "Why you gotta be like that?"

Meatball frowned up at Artemis. "He's a pretty boy." He turned back to Palo. "I don't trust pretty boys."

"If it's any consolation," Artemis shrugged. "I looked rather rugged a few days ago."

The pixie sneered at him. "...Still pretty."

"Oookay, Meatball," Palo let go of his shoulder, shrugging innocently as he lazed away. "Guess we gotta leave you outta the high-paying missions then."

"I don't gotta like him to work with him," Meatball grunted as he added more weight, lifting the barbell again. He strained as he heaved it to his chest, veins rippling across his beefy arms. He bit down on his jaw as he held it, sweat dripping from his forehead when he released the barbell with a gasp. Meatball panted as he pat his biceps. "You loyal, Mudman?" Meatball snorted at Artemis.

"Loyal as you are to me. You receive what you give," Artemis took a slight step forward.

"And why should we be loyal to you?" Meatball asked as he wiped his face down with a towel.

"Do I need to prove myself?" Artemis questioned, eyeing Palo. "Do I need to be mesmerised again?"

"No, no, of course not," Palo said, dipping forward to pull Artemis out of the gym. "Come on, let's just go. He'll warm up to ya eventually."

The pair made their way back up to the 15th floor, stepping back in Goliath's smokey office. Keni, the magenta-haired secretary, stood beside Goliath's desk with a black card and wooden box beneath her hand. Goliath sat at his desk as they had left him, an eager grin on his face.

"Can we get you anything, Dr. Fowl?" Goliath puffed, violet smoke circling his silvery head. "Would you like a drink? Perhaps a smoke?"

Keni pushed the wooden box forward on the desk, opening it to reveal an assortment of fae cigars rested on red velvet.

Artemis waved them aside. "I'm fine, thank you."

"Are you sure?" Goliath asked, shrugging. "I'd like you to be comfortable when we get started."

"I am sure," Artemis nodded, tugging at his collar a bit. "I'd prefer to keep my wits about me."

"That's fair," Goliath said, and Keni closed the box, placing it on another shelf. She returned and silently handed Artemis the black card through slim fingers.

"I'd like to offer you your own room," Goliath explained with a wave of his fingers. "Our company has residential quarters on the fourth floor. It might be a little small for you, but it's a nice hotel room. Ya know, for late nights and other shenanigans. That card will also get you into the tower, so don't lose it."

As Artemis took the card, Goliath stood from his swivel chair. "So, what do you think of my operation? Are we in business?" He reached his hand forward for Artemis to shake.

Artemis smiled as he took the pixie's smaller hand in his. "We are in business, Mr. Knopp." His phone beeped in his trouser pocket and his other hand wandered to it, checking the screen.

Holly: Hey! Call me when you're free

"Will you be staying with us tonight?" Keni asked suddenly, her voice smooth and monotone beside her boss.

Artemis looked up and between the fairies. "Not tonight. But I can stay for a while longer." He nodded to Goliath, a devious glint in his eyes. "I did say I would do my part. Shall we get started?"

Goliath rubbed his hands together ecstatically, moving around the desk to lead them through the door. "We shall. Please come this way." He glanced at the puzzled Palo buzzing beside them. "I want to see him in action for myself."

Palo nodded and shrugged. "Yeah, that makes sense. I guess I'd wanna see a famous mastermind doing mastermind shit too." When Goliath peered at him, Palo threw his hands up defensively. "I meant that, Sir G! I wasn't playin'." He sighed with relief as his boss moved past him, hovering after the human and pixies with dark green cheeks.

The fairies had led Artemis to the Operations room one floor below, a series of computers and holo-screens filling up the walls. Artemis walked up to one, examining each screen closely. "You manage each business in the Black Alley, correct?"

Goliath stepped beside him, hands behind his back. "Yes. I keep the alley running myself... with the occasional help of the company, of course. I have access to each account managed here, but even then, there are a few that run under my nose." He looked up at Artemis with a slight smirk. "I've heard there's a female fight club somewhere in the alley, but even we haven't managed to locate them yet. That may be something you'd like to look into."

A female fight club?

He suddenly remembered Holly's increased combat skill and explanation in Tokyo.

"I lost a bet."

Interesting. Artemis shook himself out of his thoughts with a light smile, focusing back on the screens. "I'll certainly give it a peek. In the meantime-" his eyes focused on a few business accounts, narrowing at the numbers. "-this one is too clean, and this one is dirtier than a dwarf's backside." Artemis glanced at the fairies quickly. "No offense."

Goliath chuckled while Palo shrugged beside them. "None taken, bro."

Artemis turned back to the screens, pondering for a slight moment. It didn't take him long to start typing away, his azure eyes electric with the glow of holo-screen. He switched between typing on three screens, doing a few calculations in his head, then typing some more. Artemis didn't notice Palo's raised brows or agape jaw next to him, but wrinkled his nose at the sprite's overwhelming cologne.

"Can you back up, please?" Artemis asked quietly, his fluffy brow miffed. He focused back on the screen as Palo whizzed backwards, grumbling something under his breath.

Artemis pulled up the keylogger on his phone and held it before the holo-screen in front of him. They both beeped green and he smiled. "Ah, fairy technology is fantastic. Everything is wireless."

"Of course it is," Goliath chuckled, crossing his arms in amusement. "We've got the mud people beat by hundreds of years."

Artemis nodded. "No disagreements there." He turned back to his keylogger, storing all of their information on his phone. He'd need to come back later on his own time to install his program into their system, but he had what he needed to fix their issues. He turned back to the screens, browsing accounts. "I only see Alley accounts here." Artemis raised a brow at Goliath. "You're not layered with any of Haven's businesses?"

The giant pixie shook his silver-haired head. "No. It's too risky. Unlike your mud world, Haven is too small."

Artemis clicked his tongue in annoyance. "So, layer with Atlantis. Or another fairy city in a different continent."

"We don't want to spread too far out."

"When was your last raid?"

Goliath stroked his beard as he thought about it. "What do you think, Palo? Eight months ago?"

"Sounds about right, Boss G," Palo nodded, bleached braids bouncing with his head as he hovered over them.

"How much did you lose?" Artemis asked.

Goliath's brow wrinkled. "Ten million alums."

Artemis whistled. "You didn't serve time?"

Goliath's gold teeth gleamed as he deviously grinned at the Irishman. "No. That's what my goons are for. We lost three."

Palo crossed his arms and avoided their gazes. "One of 'em is my bro. I miss the 'lil guy!" He wiped a fake tear. "It's not the same without him."

Artemis nodded to himself and turned back to the screens. It took him about ten minutes to sort everything out, but he eventually stood straight, lowering the holo-screen at the pixie's height. "Alright. I've done what I can for now. Take a look."

Both Goliath and Palo smashed their noses to the screen, intrigued to see the genius' work in real life. Goliath went through the lists several times, each time causing his eyes to widen more and more. His taupe eyes snapped up to Artemis in shock. "You've reduced our debts from 300k to-"

"Twenty-thousand," Artemis affirmed with a cocky smirk. "Quite the reduction, don't you think?" He tapped the screen casually. "I could've taken them off completely, but that looks a little suspicious." He offered a light smile to Goliath. "Pleased?"

Goliath continued looking over his accounts, nodding. "Amazing. Where did they go?"

Artemis shrugged with his palms. "A mastermind doesn't reveal his secrets." He turned back to the screen, pointing to present his work to Goliath. "If you look here, I went ahead and tagged some legal businesses to your network. Your goons will have to meet with them in person for you to clean this properly, though."

Palo raised a brow at one of the businesses. "Sheila's Strip Bar?" he snorted. "My ex works there. Why a strip club?"

Goliath clapped his hands together. "So we can clean our gold with another gold business."

Artemis blinked at the fairies. "Yes… this is pretty basic laundering. Have you not been cleaning your gold?"

Goliath rubbed his neck, a deep flush peeking through his silvery goatee. "It comes to us clean. We've been converting it into alums and using them as cryptocurrency."

"That's not enough. I know gold isn't common anymore, but if you're still collecting it, you need to wash it properly. Squeaky clean isn't good either." Artemis glanced at Goliath curiously. "What are your top three illegal trades?"

"Weapons," Goliath counted on stocky fingers. "Modified parts for weapons, including batteries, and unethically-sourced meat and animal products, believe it or not."

"I suspected as much," Artemis turned back to the screens. "I've noticed the meat available is rather expensive. Despite unethical sourcing, I'm at least glad the fairies aren't as bad as humans."

Palo snorted. "Yeah. Mud People's top three trades would probably be other mud people, drugs, and rockets right? Like those really massive scary kinds?"

Artemis raised a brow. "You mean missiles? I don't think missiles are quite top three, but you're on the right track." Artemis turned around completely and wiped some grime from his shirt. "Anyway, gentlemen, this has been fun and all, but it's getting rather late, and I do have somewhere to be. Shall we pick this back up tomorrow?"

Goliath and Palo nodded in unison, and in that moment Artemis was unsure if he or the older pixie were the boss now. The elderly male found his resolve quickly though and straightened up, dusting his suit.

"Of course. In case you decide to stay tomorrow night, your room number is 408," Goliath said, leading them out of the control room. He pulled another cigar from his lapel pocket and lit it, huffing a green puff this time. He nodded to Keni. "If you need anything or forget your room number, just ask Keni here. She may be our secretary but she's one hell of a pixie."

Keni bowed slightly forward in thanks before nodding to Artemis. "We'll see you tomorrow?"

Artemis nodded back, fixing his baseball cap back over his bangs. "Yes," he winked. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Upper Levels, Haven City

Mulberry Row Condominiums

Apartment 224

…Besides Holly's apartment, of course. Despite feeling like a burden to her, it was comforting to know he had a good friend to come home to after a long day.

Artemis stepped through the door into the apartment, the aroma of fresh olives wafting through the condo. He sniffed in delight and his eyes scanned her open floor plan. "Holly? I'm home."

Holly poked her auburn head out from the fridge door with a large smile plastered to her face. "Hey!" She appeared with a white, chunky block in her hand and plopped it onto the olive platter on the counter. "I was just making a snack. Are you hungry? How was your day?! Did it get better? Did you-?"

She actually noticed him by this point, her bright smile wincing just a bit. "Oh. You look rough."

"I think I was a little too invested at one point," Artemis chuckled, chucking his hat at the couch and strolling over to her beside the counter. "What's this?" he asked, nodding to the white block.

"Plant cheese," Holly replied, slipping a tiny block into her mouth with a little dance. She raised her brows. "It's good. You won't notice a difference."

"You haven't had real cheese, have you?"

"...No. But that's besides the point."

"I'll notice the difference." Artemis plucked a firm cube from the block, plopping it into his mouth curiously. A sharp blend of salty and tangy pleased his taste buds and he tilted his head in thought. "You know… this is actually nice."

"I told you," Holly sneered, taunting him with a smirk. "But you never believe me, so."

"It's meant to replicate feta?" Artemis observed, nibbling on half a kalamata olive this time. "You're going for a Mediterranean selection, so that's my guess."

"Yeah!" Holly nodded, snacking on some herself. "You're right. Of course. Like always."

He smiled. "It's good. Not as good, though."

"Oookay," she whined, rolling her eyes and taking the platter away from him. "Guess it's all mine, then." She strolled over to the kitchen table and offered him a playful smile. "So? You got invested? That's good, right?"

Artemis shrugged, crossing his arms and leaning against the laminate counter in thought. He needed to steer the conversation in a way that wouldn't alert Holly's suspicions, as well as convince her. The truth wasn't so far off, was it?

"Yes, but it didn't seem to really matter, given I did horribly anyway. The last delivery went well, thankfully, though it was deeper within the city. I noticed the lower my ratings, the lower into Haven the deliveries took me." He untied his apron and rested it neatly on his arm. "I suppose I'll be in the lower levels quite a bit over the next few days."

A sharp pang stabbed his heart just then, and Artemis felt a familiar wave of guilt wash over him. Lying to Holly was hurting more and more, but Artemis considered for a second why he kept doing it. Surely, she would trust him? No. She's LEP. You can't tell her. Don't be stupid. The image of the pain in her eyes when she'd heard him, when she'd found him out, crept into his mind and he didn't want to be the source of that pain ever again. Artemis didn't know what to do, so he kept his face light, and moved on.

"That sucks," Holly mumbled, munching on her olives. "You don't really need me to tell you, but just keep your wits about you. Fairies can be especially deceptive."

"I think I know a little thing or two about deception, Holly," Artemis countered slyly, exiting the conversation by disappearing into the bedroom. That you do. Pfft.

Holly fumed at the ajar threshold from her seat as she cooked up ways to roast him in her head. When he reappeared with a fresh set of clothes and towel in his arms, she shot at him, "Being proud of deception says a lot about one's character, by the way." She continued, raising a challenging brow at him. "Make your case, whelp."

"Holly," Artemis stopped in place. He stared as his lips turned upwards, gradually growing into a smile. "I can't take you seriously while you sit at that tiny table, plopping olives and cheese into your mouth."

"Plant cheese."

"Plant cheese," Artemis repeated, rolling his eyes playfully and continuing to the bathroom. "Are you trying to aid my case?"

"It's not my fault I can stump you with my elfish wiles," Holly shrugged indifferently, though it was obviously still part of her ruse. "You voided your case the moment you said you couldn't take me seriously."

"Okay, Holls," Artemis laughed lightly, slowly easing his way into her bathroom. "I have to remove myself now, or we will banter for days."

"Yeah, you stink, so I don't blame you," she called out with a wink and impish grin.

"I stink of victory, thank you."

"Stinky mudman."

"I'll have you know I fought off a tunnel wolf to attain this fine scent. What did you do today?" Artemis declared before disappearing through the door.

"Wait- you did WHAT?!"

An hour later, smooth, synthwave beats streamed from Holly's speakers as the late night rolled into Haven, the condo dimly warm as city lights twinkled beyond the sheer curtains. The two friends were groggily sprawled out on the umber couch, and though the dimensions were smaller, the couch's L-shape allowed Artemis to lounge on it while keeping personal space. As their conversation shifted, he tugged at his clean sweatshirt and changed the subject.

"So, today was your first day back?" Artemis asked, fingers tapping the top of the sofa like a piano. "How did that go?"

Holly criss-crossed in her sweatpants, resting her face in her hand. "It was okay, I guess." Her normally boisterous nature seemed more sullen than usual, and Artemis perked up a bit in interest.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm? Nothing's wrong."

"You're not the only one who can read people, Holls," Artemis insisted. "And I know you," he winked. She smiled a little at this but her eyes seemed far off. "What is it?"

Holly sighed before answering, her stare hard at the cushion beneath her. "There's a bunch of different things bothering me, I guess. Like, I'm obviously worried about you. And then at work, things have been kind of weird lately. That's why I decided to take off in the first place."

"And here I was thinking my arrival was why you'd taken off," Artemis attempted to joke, but it fell flatter than a fish's backside. When Holly groaned, he rubbed his forehead sheepishly. "Sorry. I thought it was worth a shot." He sat up entirely, socks on the soft rug, and fixed a serious gaze on her. "What's weird at work? Do you mean with the Commander?"

Holly shook her head. "You'd think, right? But, no. He's always professional with me. It's like…" She bit her lip, chewing over how to word things. "I guess… Well, I've had short hair for so long, it's like... I wasn't doing it for the right reasons. It was because I didn't want to be seen as a girl. And now, with this long ass hair-" she rolled her eyes, whipping her braid over her shoulder, "-I'm kinda forced to live with it."

Artemis tried to see her perspective; the tips of his brows furrowed slightly in confusion. "What does that mean, exactly?"

Holly sighed again, avoiding his gaze. "I get treated differently, I guess." She growled and shook her head, punching the couch lightly in frustration. "It's not a big deal. I'm not gonna complain." She turned to Artemis, her eyes gentle despite her burning cheeks. "Are you doing okay? Ya know… since everything?"

Artemis wagged a finger at her. "See, what we're not going to do is turn this back on me." He leaned forward, showing her he was invested. "I'm fine. Now, why do you get treated differently?"

Holly sank a little under his seriousness, insecurity hammering her thoughts. Did he really care? "It's dumb, Arty. It's okay-"

"Holly…"

Her cheeks burned darker. She rested her head against the cushion and pouted at him. "I," she gulped. "I… it's fine. Let's just drop it-"

"Holly."

The assertive way he said her name froze her in place but his eyes were soft and warm, as if inviting her issues in. She groaned loudly, digging her face into her hands with embarrassment. "Artemis," she whined, frowning impishly. "This kinda stuff is hard to talk about."

"Why?"

"'Cause you're a male, and, well… this feels like a conversation I should have with Juliet. It's the guys who treat me differently."

"They treat you differently with long hair?"

Holly gave another small smile, but her sad eyes didn't match. "I mean, they always have. Even with short hair. But today… It's like, the guys have been really persistent lately. Sometimes, they don't even see me as a Commodore, I'm just 'chick they could score number 5'. With my crew cut, I fit in more. I didn't really stand out in a way where they saw me as feminine. But now…" Holly tugged on her braid with disdain. "Even wrapped up, it's made the guys see me as this object to be won rather than as another fairy. I mean, it's just hair." She groaned into her hand again. "Does that even make sense? I'm just overthinking it, right?"

Artemis leaned back a little. As a white male in the peak of high society, he hadn't experienced sexism on that level before, but he could imagine how disheartening it was for Holly. He knew how hard she worked, how much she cared. If Artemis could have his pick of any LEP officer, it would be Holly a thousand times over. A small seed of adrenaline sprouted in his chest, pumping through his limbs like wildfire. Why did Holly have to fight to be an equal when she was even more than that? Artemis was livid, he realized. Livid for her.

"Have you told anyone else this? The Commander?" he asked urgently. Holly shook her head and his eyes darkened. "Holly… that's unacceptable. You need to tell Trouble."

"I can't believe you used his name," she chuckled, trying to lighten the air but Artemis wasn't having it.

"I'm serious, Holly. Listen to me," he urged, glaring at her. "That sort of harassment should be reported immediately-"

Holly interrupted him with yet another groan, smacking her forehead. "I know! I know. But- well, I just don't want to make a big deal out of something small. That kind of stuff spreads like wildfire, and if word gets out you're difficult, it'll just make it harder for me."

"But you haven't tried?"

"I want to, but they're just making pervy jokes. It's nothing to fire anyone over."

"But what if it escalates? If you report them now-"

"Why is it my job to report it, Artemis?" Holly growled, rounding on him. "Why should it fall on me? Why don't any of the others around report it? Why don't the guys just not do it? Why doesn't Trouble just open his eyes more? I don't fucking know, Artemis. But not all of this can fall onto me. I don't even know if it's worth bitching about. You have no idea about what any of this is like anyway, so don't tell me how to fucking handle it!"

A thick air of silence drifted between them, eyes watching each other curiously. Holly panted in irritation when she broke their stare to throw her face into her hands. "Sorry! I didn't mean to- Oh, shit . I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from."

"You've been holding this in for a long time, Holls," Artemis said gently, shifting in his seat so he was closer to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "If it bothers you, it's worth talking about. Especially if it's affecting you." He tightened his grip a little. "For what it's worth, I think you're the most spectacular officer the LEP has ever seen. You know it's true. They'd be fools to not address your concerns, especially something as serious as discrimination and harassment. If it's happened to you, I'm sure it's happening to others, so you're likely not alone."

Holly glanced up sheepishly. "You know, you're kinda good at this."

"Which part, exactly?" he asked, sweeping away the bangs tickling his eyes

"Being nice," Holly snickered, leaning back into the couch. "Thank you. For the concern. And listening… it means a lot coming from you."

"You can talk to me anytime." He offered her a teasing grin. "I am a licensed psychiatrist, after all."

"I thought you shouldn't use psychiatrists as therapists."

"It's not what we're there for," Artemis shrugged. "But for you, I may permit an exception," he ribbed, patting her shoulder.

"Well, in that case," Holly started, getting onto her knees on the cushion and lifting her height to his chest. She put her hand on his shoulder too, each other's arms crossed against the other. "I may be a trained hostage negotiator, but that doesn't mean you need to be in danger to talk to me about your feelings, okay?"

Artemis chortled in response and Holly shoved her face in his. "Hey! I'm serious! Feelings are important."

"You're such an elf."

"Listen!" she barked, shaking his shoulders playfully. "Instead of doing crazy things, just talk to me, okay? I talk to you, you talk to me. Promise?"

Artemis rolled his eyes. "If I promise, will you end this madness?"

"If you promise, I will stop shaking you… I can't promise the madness will end."

"I promise."

"Thaaat…?"

"That I will talk to you if such an occasion arises," Artemis finished, watching the mood in Holly's face lighten as she stopped the shaking. And though making the promise annoyed and stung him with the guilt of knowing it was already broken, her grateful smile in response made everything worth it.

Holly lifted her pinky finger in front of him and when he lifted his, she grabbed his arm and swiftly entangled them, intertwining their dark and pale fingers. "This is our secret promise handshake, mmkay? Don't forget it!"

"Not very original," Artemis criticized under his breath when Holly yanked his pinky. "I yield! I yield."

The best friends chatted for the rest of the night until one could no longer stay awake for the other's stories. Artemis retreated into the bedroom with Holly fast asleep on the futon, leaving the two with another long work day ahead.

The Black Alley, The Underground

Room 408, 4th Floor, Phobos Tower

It was around 9 AM HST when Artemis arrived at Phobos Tower in a fresh set of black dress shoes and clad in his delivery uniform; this time, with a portable printer stashed in his tote. He'd found his room on the 4th floor and changed out of that dreadful outfit, setting up his printer on the desk. He input a design for a sleek, black dress suit, searching his tote for the materials he brought along.

The room's furnishings themselves were a tiny bit small for Artemis' human dimensions, however slim he was. A full-sized bed and a small desk sat on parallel walls while a neon yellow lamp sparked in the corner beside a dark sofa. A tall, thin window on the far wall sat sandwiched between the Black Alley's neon auctions below and the sky of holo-billboards flashing above, lighting the room like a stained glass disco ball.

His printer beeped and expanded into a large mesh of metal legs and scanners. A small tray popped out and he put in what materials he could: cotton, spandex, and kevlar being the three he'd brought with him. After the printer accepted the materials, Artemis confirmed his measurements, and the machine began to spin to life a new suit before him, weaving threads together like a cross stitch. And it was done.

Artemis took a quick sip of his Earl Grey to-go and strolled over to the suit, smoothing out the creases and edges. He slipped it on, gazing at his ghostly reflection from afar in a small, rectangular mirror. As he fit his tie into place, he sighed with relief as he analyzed each section of the suit. It had printed perfectly tailored, per usual, and Artemis felt a warmth spread through him as he began to feel like himself again.

Feel like myself? What does that even mean? Do you even know who you are?

Artemis pursed his lips, his brow twitching in annoyance. He ignored his viperous insecurities and went over to the bathroom sink, twisting the marble faucet knob. He let his hand soak under the warm water before slicking back his curtained bangs. He sighed again, looking at his groomed appearance in the mirror. Better.

The Irish genius couldn't deny it felt good to have a semblance of control here, and looking at his reflection, he felt a glimmer of hope that things would be like they used to be. The old times, with the real Artemis.

The real Artemis. He gulped and leaned over the sink, his heart scratched and raw. Don't think like that. Not now.

Artemis straightened his back in defiance and dug for whatever confidence he could muster. Deep, sapphire eyes glowered back at his reflection, his jaw set with determination. You will persevere.

And it will be perfect.

Phobos Tower

Data Room, 14th Floor

Artemis had met up with several company members, Palo and Pauly Sow front and center while the other fairies hung further back. Artemis scanned the holo-screens, reviewing their business progress. The company members had spent the last few hours scouring Haven's tagged businesses, having become investors using a variety of tactics from flattery to casual bribery.

Artemis nodded to himself as he looked over the improved numbers, mumbling them under his breath as he scrolled. "You've done well so far. You've managed to partner with all but one business." A name tagged in red taunted him through the screen. "Sheila's Strip Bar." Artemis raised a brow at Palo. "I thought you had contacts there?"

"It's because I have contacts there that they wouldn't agree," Palo shrugged, his wispy wings shuddering in shame. "They don't trust us."

"What did you tell them?"

"Told 'em we wanted to invest in their business but Harley knew what was up," Palo explained. "They know better, and they want nothing to do with us."

"Which means they have dirt we can uncover. Harley, you said?" Artemis asked. "Male or female?"

Palo shrugged. "Couldn't tell ya. They don't identify."

"I see. And your contact? See if they can dig the dirt on Harley. If we can't blackmail them, we can buy out the business instead."

"No offense, Fowl, but why would you wanna buy out Sheila's?" Pauly said next to Palo with arms crossed, his own wings shimmering beside Palo's. "That place is a shit hole, and there are way hotter fairies at other clubs."

"A business that is failing is where you want to clean your money. And gradually, you can expand and improve said business. It'll make you look more credible," Artemis explained, stepping back from the screens. He placed both arms behind his back and turned to the company waiting behind him. "I do not mean to question your leader, but are you positive his methods are the best course of action for you all to follow? Not only have you been subjected to raids and arrests, but your funds weren't even laundered correctly. Perhaps you should start looking for new management."

"Pfft, hah!" Meatball grunted amongst the group. "Let me guess: you think that should be you?"

"No. I think you should make the choice in who you want to lead you," Artemis replied indifferently. "But if there was someone with expertise in crime who could get the Alley out of the gutter in less than a month, I believe you'd be wise to pick them."

It was Beebo Bumble's turn now. The pixie took a few steps forward, his navy curls bouncing with him. "I like where you're going with this. I really do," he started in a careful tone. "But I think I speak for us all when I say we are loyal to Goliath. We made an oath."

"An oath? To stay loyal to him? Or stay loyal under his pay?" Artemis challenged, back stiff and eyes cool. "What is your cut, anyhow?"

"We don't," Meatball cut in, biceps tensing as he took a step forward.

Artemis blinked. "You don't, what?"

"We don't share no cut," Meatball snarled, his fists firm. "We get paid per day based on what we do. Always been that way, stays that way."

Artemis gripped the bridge of his nose in disbelief. Fairies couldn't be this bad at illegal trading, could they? Opal Koboi was a monster to society. Surely this couldn't be it, could it? He took a deep breath to compose himself and gazed down in a domineering fashion over the fairies. "How much do you get paid?"

"Like I said: it changes," Meatball grunted.

"On average?"

"I make like, two thousand a month," Palo announced with a raised palm. "Didn't you make like, three-fifty last job?" he asked Bones, the pixie/gnome with greasy goggles strapped to his dark-haired head.

Bones shrugged, twirling a modified Neutrino 5000 on a lanky finger. "Keni took over for me last job. I just fixed her gun when she godsdamn broke it."

"Speaking of Keni," Palo turned to Artemis with wide eyes. "She's loyal to Goliath. I don't think you'll be able to bribe her with anything."

"Firstly, I am not bribing anyone. I merely made a suggestion," Artemis stated matter-of-factly as he adjusted his suit cuffs. "Secondly, I am not suggesting you betray your leader. I am simply suggesting you consider changing management. And, lastly, if you did decide to switch management and work under me, I would make sure each of you is paid handsomely."

"Prove it," Meatball countered from the corner of the room, leaned against the wall. "I'm not switching sides 'til I see the mulah."

"Meatie," Palo interrupted, mediating between Artemis and the company, his emerald wings flickering in flight. "You should've seen him yesterday. He took all our debts away like that!" He snapped lime green fingers to make a point. "Plus, if it weren't for him, we wouldn't be gettin' washed by all these businesses-"

"Cool. Good for you," Meatball scowled. "But if this guy is as rich as everyone makes him out to be, I wanna see the money if I'm saying yes. That's all I'm saying about that."

Artemis tapped delicate fingers against each other in thought before his solemn features grew a deviant smile. "How much do you want? And please. Select a reasonable amount."

"A hundred thousand," Meatball smirked.

"Alums?" Artemis blinked. "That's… not a reasonable amount."

"You said you've got it," Meatball challenged, stepping beside the hovering Palo and glaring up at the human. "So? Show it."

"Despite having it, what have you done to earn a hundred thousand alum…" Artemis raised a brow. "Meatball? Was it?"

"Yeah."

"Well, Meatball, I doubt you need that much money. However, I'll agree as long as you split that amount amongst the others."

"I thought we was gettin' our own?" Beebo Bumble asked behind Palo.

"You will. Think of this as a hiring bonus," Artemis shrugged. "I could walk away now, and you'd have nothing."

"Yo! That's how much between us?" Palo asked, failing to do the math on his fingers.

"Roughly seventeen thousand each. Hellfire. I'll give you twenty-thousand. Combined that's 120 thousand. That's even more than the original request." Artemis nodded to Meatball. "Do we have a deal?"

Meatball smirked and craned his head to look at the others. They nodded to him, mouthing something Artemis couldn't make out. Meatball chuckled and looked up at Palo. "Whadda ya think, Winkle? Think Fowl should be our leader?"

Palo's eyes glistened, his bleached braids whipping back and forth with his ecstatic nods. "Abso-fuckin-lutely!"

Jewels the dwarf stepped forward, breaking his silence. "I'm not sure how I feel about a human running us. Humans are our greatest enemy." He looked at the crew. "What makes him any different?"

Palo rolled his eyes. "He's Artemis Fowl , bro."

Bones broke his silence and leaned over to Jewels. "Jeez. Read the room, dude," he whispered.

"How can we trust him?"

It was a question that clung to the heavy air. It was a good question. How could a bunch of idiots trust a human genius and mastermind?

Meatball broke the silence. "Pay up or get mesmerised."

Artemis smirked. "So hostile," he joked. "I'll just be a moment," he assured them, and swiped open his Faetek phone.

The great thing about working with idiots, is that they were idiots. It was a bit of shame when you were a genius dealing with idiots because of the lack of a challenge presented, but at the end of the day, there wasn't anything wrong with the guarantee that things would go your way.

Artemis opened up the Phobos Company's accounts on his device, quickly checking that the keylogger was still active in their network. He waved his phone at Meatball. "Bring yours here."

Meatball made a noise between a cough and grunt in his throat as he trudged over to Artemis, tinkering on his apps before he stuck out his phone to tap the Faetek device.

[Send?] the device asked Artemis, and he swiped the bar right.

The notification alerted green, and a cash sound rang from Meatball's device. Meatball brought his phone down curiously, wide eyes staring at the device with curiosity. As he slid it open and dug around, his brown eyes boggled out of their sockets. "Holy shit. He really did it," he smiled gruffly, dodging Bones' gaze from over his shoulder. "He gave me the full one-twenty," he whistled, his dark eyes bright now. "I'm in."

"Wait!" Bumble reached a hand forward in protest. "I thought we was gettin' twenty each?"

Artemis walked past them towards the exit. "That's why he has one-twenty. Now it's up to the lot of you to obtain it from him," he winked, moving past the chaos towards the exit as the fairies practically pounced on Meatball's phone.

Getting into The Black Alley? Check. Gaining access to money that can't be traced? Check. Buying out the Phobos Company with their own funds? Check. Replacing Goliath Knopp as the boss of The Black Alley? In progress.

Upper Levels, Haven City

Kona Prima Penthouses

And so, it was mid-morning when said pixie, Goliath Knopp, was leaving his luxurious flat in a fresh navy suit. He was excited to see what business prospects their new associate had brought in overnight when a hand suddenly stopped his elbow, freezing his determination in its tracks. Taupe eyes met an LEP officer beneath a visor. Click.

The business mogul's head shot up when a dozen LEP Rapid Response Team officers burst in through the double doors, spilling into the lobby, their guns and lasers aimed right on him. "What the hell is this about?" he snarled.

A Captain stepped forward amongst the squad, a Neutrino 5k aimed at the pixie in one hand, and a warrant in the other. The tall, burly elf raised his visor, grinning devilishly at the pixie's eye level. "Hello, Knopp. Sorry to meet you like this, sir," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You're under arrest."

"Under arrest?!" Goliath stammered with wrinkled eyes. "For what?"

"You got quite the list," the tall Captain said, reading off the warrant. "You're under arrest for income tax evasion, extortion, assault, among a few others. We've got orders to take you in."

"What?!" Goliath's eyes shot to the officer's name tag. "Captain Gronk Moss," he grimaced, getting into the officer's face despite the weapons aimed at him. "Pfft. I demand I speak to my lawyer," he growled angrily, inches from the cocky elf's broken nose. "Do you even know who I am, elf? Who do you think you are?"

"I'm the LEP, Knopp," Gronk declared proudly, waving his hand forward, a Private rushing past him to handcuff the enraged pixie boss. "Who you are doesn't concern me."

"I'm innocent-" when Goliath realized what had happened. His arms shook with rage. "Artemis Fowl!" Goliath hollered as he was dragged out of the opulent lobby through the rotating double doors. "This was all Artemis Fowl!"

Several officers laughed as they filed out, including Gronk. "Artemis Fowl? The human?" he snickered under his visor. "The fuck is he talking about?"

"Maybe it's those cigars he smokes," Corporal Alder joked from behind Gronk. "I can smell those damn smokes from a mile away. They remind me of my gramma."

"Your gramma sounds fun to party with."

"Yeah," Corporal Alder sighed sadly. "Too bad she died. It's okay though. She went out with a bang."

Gronk shook his head in amusement and rounded up his squad. "Alright, team! RnR, move out!"

The Black Alley

15th Floor, Phobos Tower

The business mogul's arrest was broadcast on every major television network in the Lower Elements, and Artemis made sure to play the live report on the large holo-screen that projected off the wall in Goliath's office. Company members circled the screen with horrified eyes and tomato red cheeks.

"It seems your boss has taken a tumble," Artemis taunted with his hands behind his back. "Most unfortunate for him, but plenty of new opportunities will grow from his absence."

"You did this," Keni boiled from the doorway, her magenta mane wild around her youthful cheeks. "You set him up."

The rest of the company members shot terrified eyes at Artemis. "Is it true, Artemis?" Palo whimpered. "You did this?"

Artemis paced back and forth as he prepared himself for his evil genius speech. Most dramatic, but maintaining fear was necessary until trust was regained.

"Yes," Artemis admitted blankly. "I set your boss up. Frankly, it was simple to orchestrate. Your boss was weak and naive. I'm sorry to say, but he'd lost his touch, for if he hadn't-" He shrugged at the fairies, "-then this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have been welcomed to begin with. But, luckily for the company, and the Alley, his mistake will not befall you."

"So, what happens now?" Palo asked, fluttering forward in the air a little closer to Artemis. His thin brows wrung together sadly and he almost pouted at the human.

"Do you remember the one-twenty I gave Meatball?" Artemis glanced at the meaty pixie. "The one you zombied off to the others?"

"Zombie wha-?"

"That money was not mine, I'll admit," Artemis interrupted, smirking at the overkill from his power move. Poor fairies.

"It was taken from your own corporation," Artemis continued, his voice husky and eyes dark. "And if I, for some reason, decided I wanted to go entirely clean and turn you in-" He stopped pacing but didn't turn. He lifted his phone instead, exposing it to them. A red timer lit up on the screen, stuck on pause.

"You wouldn't-" Meatball breathed, his rippled features becoming furious.

"I very well could," Artemis warned. There was a vampiric coldness that claimed his demeanor, chilling the frightened fairies in place. Artemis nearly sighed in relief. At least I can still do that.

He pocketed the phone and took a step forward. "Anyone who split money from Meatball is safe, so long as you do not cross me. You are free to leave the company if you wish, or, you are welcome to stay and do nothing with your life if that's what pleases you. I don't care. But, if I sense any inkling of a betrayal to those working under me, you have been tagged, and like Mr. Knopp, you will not get away with your crimes."

"Imma kill him," Meatball howled, surging forward with his arms wrung out. "I'm gonna fuckin' kill him!"

"Meatie, no!" The rest of the company jumped in and held Meatball back (thankfully instead of joining), the other five males struggling against his beefy biceps.

While they were distracted, Keni used the moment to step forward. "And me?" she grimaced at Artemis, peering at him with uncertainty. Her magenta curls swayed behind her as she sauntered forward. "I didn't take any money." Click. Before Artemis could blink, she already had a modified, gold pistol aimed cooly at his forehead. "You have nothing on me. So, what's stopping me from shooting you?"

Artemis locked in place as he peered down at her. "You're the ringleader of the female fight club, aren't you?"

Keni's indigo eyes widened and her pointed nose twitched. She tightened her grip on the gun and took a step back. "How did you know that?" she gasped.

"I didn't," Artemis grinned. "But thank you for confirming my suspicions." She scowled at him but Artemis paid no mind, dusting off his lapel instead. "I wonder what Commodore Holly Short would think of your illegal trades here."

"Your elf girlfriend?" Keni laughed, leering at him. "Oh, please. You know absolutely nothing, Mud Man. You're totally in the dark here." Keni moved in until she was close to Artemis, using her aim to keep him still. Once in range, she bore her eyes into his, swirling indigo pools tinged with gold. "You will forget everything you saw here, and you will never return, Mud Shit."

Artemis broke her gaze, chuckling at her audible gasp. "Unfortunately for you, your mesmer is rendered useless against me." Artemis winked. "My body is a clone grown by fairies. I'm immune to your mesmer ," he lied smoothly, moving back towards the desk despite her aim on him.

Palo heard this and broke from the entangled males. "Hey, wait!" He hovered forward, cheeks dark green in embarrassment. "So you lied to me earlier, bro?! I didn't actually mesmerise you?"

"I regret to inform you, you did not, dear sprite."

"Ah, you dick!" Palo actually chuckled, smoothing his braids back. "I gotta admit, bro. I can't even be mad. You're clever as hell. I mean," he looked over his shoulder at his mates. "He's Artemis fucking Fowl. What did we realistically expect?"

Artemis nodded innocently as he leaned on the mahogany desktop. "Thank you for acknowledging that."

"C'mon, Kens. Put the gun down," Palo waved at her. "Let's all just, like, sit and process this shit, alright?"

The air was frozen with an angry stillness for a few minutes while Keni and the others shot each other looks whilst also forming their own thoughts. Eventually she set her gun down and curled her lip at Artemis. "Whatever."

Artemis risked taking a step back from the group. "Anyway, I've done what's needed here. Are we all in understanding?"

The group looked at each other, some solemn, some nervous while Pauly and Jewels were indifferent. Eventually, Palo spoke for the group. "Yeah, I think for now. So, what's the plan, Arte- uh… what do I call you now?"

Artemis shrugged. "Whatever you want."

"Alright then, Boss Man. Still need us to visit Sheila's?"

Artemis nodded, moving towards the exit door. "Yes. Give me an update tomorrow regarding your progress."

"Will do, chief!"

Artemis exited the office and strode towards the elevator, taking it down to the residential quarters. After neatly hanging his suit and changing back into his delivery uniform, he was stopped by a presence outside his room in the hall.

"Hey."

Artemis turned and looked over the pretty pixie, her almond-shaped indigo eyes glaring up at him. "Hello, Keni," he greeted.

"You're gonna need my help if you're going to do this," Keni huffed, crossing her arms, magenta strands of hair framing her face. "You may be a genius, but you're still just a human in a place you don't belong."

Artemis let a small smile tug on his ample lips and turned to fully face her. "How would you be helping me?" he inquired gently, genuinely interested in her proposal.

"You really think it was Goliath who ran this Alley?" she smirked. "You're smarter than that."

Artemis smirked back. "I had a sneaking suspicion. So, it was you running the laundering scheme?"

Keni took another step closer, nodding. "I'm not an expert at this. I just know what my daddy taught me, and it's been a while. I loved Goliath like a father too, but you're right. He'd lost his touch, and it was only a matter of time before the Phobos Company was shut down." She glanced at something on his chest but Artemis couldn't tell what, as she lifted her eyes again almost instantly. "But with you in charge… I'd bet we have a fighting chance. As long as you run things by me first."

Artemis crossed his arms and leaned against the hallway wall, amused at the small, humanoid pixie. "Run things by you first?" he challenged. "Or, what, exactly?"

Keni's eyes gleamed dangerously. "Don't worry about it. Just know that I have more contacts in this Alley and the LEP than your achievements in your short life."

"Are you sure? I have quite the list."

"Exactly," she said triumphantly. She stuck her hand out with elegant red nails reaching forward. "Do we have a deal?"

Artemis sat on the thought, his hand rested on his chin. After some time, he stood straight and focused back on her. "You don't know what I actually intend to do here, do you?"

Keni's nose wrinkled in confusion as she retreated her hand. "What do you mean?"

"Why are you here, Keni?" Artemis replied. He hadn't intended to deflect but he found himself curious in her backstory. "Why are you involved in The Black Alley when you could have a credible career?"

Keni threw her head back, raising her brows at him. "Oh, please. That's rich coming from you. You're the worst criminal of us all and you're asking me why I'm a criminal?" She sauntered forward, her hips swaying with her. "Why are you a criminal, Fowl? The money? The infamy? No. Tsk tsk." She wagged a finger at him. "You like control, don't you? You think I didn't notice you relishing Goliath's arrest? Or the satisfaction on your face when you showed those idiots who's boss?" She finished when she was close to him, her pink head barely reaching his chest. "Those other idiots may not notice, but I do. I see through you, Fowl."

Artemis blinked at her for a moment, the dazed expression growing into a nervous smile. "I'm unsure of how your Fowl and Fairy films portray me, but I've not been a criminal for some time now." His phone beeped just then and he glanced at it.

Holly: hey! you up for some curry?

"Let's finish this conversation tomorrow," Artemis murmured. "I have somewhere to be."

Keni leaned into his side and glanced at his screen, a lecherous grin growing on her fine features. "Yeah, guess you better go. Don't want your girlfriend getting suspicious," she teased. "See you tomorrow?"

Artemis pocketed his phone and walked past the pixie. "We'll be seeing each other everyday from now on, so yes-"

Keni stopped him with another extension of her elegant hand. "You never agreed to the deal. Do we have a deal, Fowl?"

Artemis sighed, but grew a small smile from it. He placed his hand in hers, shaking it firmly. "We have a deal." As she allowed him to pass her and he was halfway down the hall, he remarked over his shoulder, "Oh. And Holly isn't my girlfriend."

And then he rounded the corner, gone from her sight, leaving the conflicted pixie stunned and satisfied in the residential hall.

Upper Levels, Haven City

Police Plaza

A week had passed since Artemis had become boss of the Phobos Company and overseer of The Black Alley, unbeknownst to Holly Short.

And Holly was feeling particularly good on this fine Friday, today being her last shift before her weekend off. She was especially looking forward to the time she would get to spend with Artemis. They hung out every chance they could get, which hadn't been much considering they were busy, but making time wasn't hard to achieve since they were constantly in each other's space. But Holly didn't mind as much as she originally thought. It was comforting to have him around, although his lectures and criticisms were occasionally irritating, but she was prepared for that. As for the weekend coming up, Holly was between taking him to the weather park, or the movies to see Fowl and Fairy, or both, or neither? She wasn't sure yet.

She strolled through the bustling morning Thoroughfare into the Plaza lobby, completely lost in her thoughts when she bumped into the person in front of her. The two elves smashed into each other, both falling back. Holly dropped her helmet with a plunk as she gripped her head.

"I'm so sorry!" Holly started as she bent down to pick up her helmet. "I wasn't payi-" She popped back up and met eyes with the person she ran into. Dazzling aqua eyes within a bed of thick lashes glared back at her. "Oh. It's you."

Captain Lili Frond grimaced at the red-headed elf, smoothing her blonde locks out of her face. "Are you blind? Can you not watch where you're going?" she asked cooly.

"It was an accident, Frond," Holly spat. "Something you're very familiar with."

Lili laughed at her, shaking her head as she moved past. "At least my parents had me on purpose. Can you say the same, Short?"

Holly almost chased after her, thinking of all the ways she could bury that stupid blonde head into the ground when a mysterious hand smoothed over her waist. She blinked, glancing at the gloved hand in confusion when she whipped around.

Captain Gronk and three of his squadmates stood directly behind her, his gaze shifting between her and Lili. "If you two are gonna have a cat fight, make sure you invite all of us next time, babe," he winked at Holly, his hand pressing firmer.

Holly completely forgot about Lili in that instance and pushed Gronk off of her, causing him to stumble back. "Don't you ever touch me again," she warned, fierce flames crackled dangerously in her eyes.

"Yeah yeah yeah," Gronk waved dismissively. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."

"Sweetheart?" Holly marched up to him, her limbs shaking with boiling anger. "Sweetheart?"

Gronk looked back at his guys with a mocking smile. "This is why LEP babes are the best. So full of fire." They snickered with him and he turned back to Holly. "It's a compliment, babe. Just take it and move on."

"Do you know who you're talking to?" Holly asked testily, shoving her nose inches from his own and shoving him back with both hands. "You're a disgrace to the LEP." She nodded to the snickering captains behind Gronk. "All of you."

"Oh come on, Holly," Gronk complained, throwing his hands up at her. "You're being a t'shog."

T'shog was Gnommish slang for a female fairy that's a 'bitch' because she's a "prude that thinks too highly of herself", and Holly was not going to have that. She was nearly at her breaking point. Artemis is right . I need to tell Trouble.

Holly broke her thoughts with a quick sigh, offering Gronk an innocent smile as she twirled an auburn braid. "Ya know," she started, her voice honeyed in sarcasm. "I am so glad that you're a Captain now, Gronk. Truly, so proud of you! But just because you got bumped up a few ranks doesn't mean your dick did."

Gronk's grin crashed into a shocked gasp as his buddies howled in laughter behind him. Before he could figure out which one to address, Holly was already marching away.

"Bye, sweetheart!" she called to him from over her shoulder, throwing a wink. When she turned to continue on ahead, she rolled her eyes. "Prick."

Holly fumed silently as she stormed through the Plaza's detectors, irritated that her morning had gone from merry to sour so quickly. The fiery elf had every intention of storming into Commander Trouble's office and laying it down thick for him - so ready to just rant and rave about every issue the male officers had created - when her sensitive ears picked up a conversation between two officers chatting on break.

"-oh yeah. Remember last week?"

"That gangster lost it, dude! Yelling about Artemis Fowl setting him up."

"I heard he's been spotted in Haven. Maybe the guy wasn't lying."

"Like they'd let a human into Haven!" When the gnome stopped cackling and opened his eyes, a red-hot Holly Short simmered in silent rage at them. "Frond, Commodore! You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"You said what about Artemis Fowl?"

"Knopp? That business gangster we brought in for tax evasion?" the gnome explained heartily. "You heard about that?"

"Yeah?" she answered. "It was on every network in the Lower Elements. Huge business tycoon."

"Yeah. Well, Knopp kept saying Artemis Fowl set him up. You know Fowl, sir. Why would that guy say that?"

The sprite corporal with him grunted. "I still think it's the media trying to get views again."

Holly was silent as she processed this information, her eyes dangerously wild. No. It couldn't be, right? Working like a normal person couldn't be so bad that Artemis would revert back to a criminal lifestyle… right? Right?

And then reality hit her like a wave crashing down on a city, flooding and overloading the networks and wires in her brain. She felt her blood boil in her veins, she could've sworn there was steam rising from her pores, sticking her to her suit.

"Yeah. It's just media," Holly tried to converse through gritted teeth. "He's totally not in Haven." She took a step closer. "Is Goliath in a cell, by the way?"

"Yeah? He's got a week left…" The officers opposite her leaned back, anxious eyes glancing at each other then her, as if terrified of her. "Uh… you okay, sir? You look kinda flustered."

Holly didn't even answer. She whirled around, fitting her helmet over her head as she slipped into the bustling crowd, pushing and dodging urgently towards the escalators, fists tight and steps fast.

It couldn't be. Artemis wouldn't. But as much as she tried to convince herself he was different now, he was changed, he was good - she couldn't shake the heavy instinct pounding in her chest, her intuition guiding her suspicion.

And as the realization fermented in her mind, and she processed the position he had put her in, she could only think of one way to frame how she felt.

Artemis. Fucking. Fowl.