This chapter contains elements of sexually suggestive language and explicit language. Warning: this chapter may be too cute.

Thank you so much to my betas for always being there even when they're not supposed to be. I'm such a needy mess and they are patient and helpful with me and they put in so much effort. I honestly cannot thank them enough.

PhoenixPyres

TheFowlestofthemall

Venompen

Upper Levels, Haven City

Mulberry Row Condominiums

Apt 224

"So!"

"So…"

Holly sat bundled in the corner of her umber-colored couch, her fingers wrapped around a steaming mug of Earl Grey. She smiled anxiously at Artemis across from her, watching him fiddle with the cuffs of his button-down.

"You have hair!" Holly exclaimed, reaching to lightly stroke his week-old stubble. "I didn't mention it earlier, but I noticed. I've never seen you with it before."

"I believe I had a few stray hairs when we traveled through time," Artemis reminded her.

"Yeah, but you actually have hair now."

"Yes, well," he replied, rubbing his jaw unconsciously. "I'm thinking of trying something new for a while."

"I like it. It's different…" Their fingers collided on his jaw and they met eyes, both frozen on each other.

"Anyway! How was your day?" Holly asked awkwardly, pulling away as a coral blush deepened her freckled cheeks. "Ya know, after our fight and everything…"

"Um…" Artemis' brows furrowed together and he smiled at the recollection of hours prior. "My day…was…" His eyes suddenly widened playfully. "It was a day."

"It was a day!" Holly repeated with a warm laugh. "Yeah, I had one of those too," she giggled into the brim of her cup as she took a sweet sip.

"How did yours go?" Artemis nodded in response, his eyes watching her curiously.

"I, uh… well, I guess I was in the fighting spirit today because I, uhhh… fought someone," she continued smiling awkwardly, covering her face with a hand.

"You fought someone?" Artemis asked, intrigued with a raised brow. "At work?"

"Yeah. Like, I kicked someone's ass," she nodded.

"May I say that I'm not exactly surprised?"

"Okay but like he totally deserved it, so I'm in the right okay so don't judge me too much I swear I'm not an aggressive or violent person all the time but holy fuck do I wish I could've ripped that lil bitch's face off-"

"Holly!" Artemis laughed out, interrupting her with a wave of his hand. "Slow down," he continued chuckling, relief filling him. It was good to be laughing with her and not spitting vicious words at one another. He kept that to himself as he held onto the fond moment. "My Gnommish is exceptional except in cases like this-"

"Sorry!" she grinned, taking another sip and setting her mug on the acrylic coffee table. "Okay. So, remember the guy who was harassing me?"

"The one you wouldn't tell your Commander about?"

"Yeah. I hit him harder than a stinkworm," Holly bounced to her knees on her cushion, burying her fist in her other hand. "He assaulted Lili Frond and we kicked his ass together. Then Trouble had him arrested. So, that worthless elf is sitting in jail now, right where he belongs."

"You and-" his eyebrows furrowed again. "Lili Frond? Fought him together?" He gaped at her, and he couldn't decide if it was awe or disbelief. "You continue to fascinate me each and every coming day, you know that?"

Holly smoothed her hair back, reaching for her phone. "I'll take that as a compliment, since I imagine it's hard to keep a genius on their toes."

"My point. So, things escalated with this other officer?"

"Yeah," Holly pouted, cupping her chin in her hand. "You were right. I should've told Trouble sooner and maybe this would've never happened."

"That's not fair, Holls. The situation was never your fault to begin with," Artemis replied, invested in their conversation. "I'm glad everything was resolved and that you're okay."

"Yeah, if you say so." Holly glanced at him as she sent Lili a quick text. "So? Why was your day a day?"

"Oh. Well, it, um-" Stop mumbling. "I had a panic attack earlier," he admitted with a little contempt for himself.

"Oh," Holly breathed. "Was it… was it what I said?"

"No, no! It's fine," Artemis hurried to assure her, placing his tea down. He took a few moments to recollect himself and organize his thoughts. "The panic attack isn't an issue. It's what I've learned from it - well, sort of. But, anyway," he scrambled, taking a deep breath.

"I've done a lot of thinking. I've realized the reason I pull off these outlandish schemes, the reason I don't tell you, is because I grew up doing that to you. I've grown comfortable in it. I know that I can always rely on you first and apologize later. But that's wrong, and I need to change. I need to be honest, Holly. So, I will. Starting now, I promise I will be as genuine with you as is possible for me. I hope I can prove that to you over time."

Holly didn't really know what to say. She must've looked stupid staring at him in a daze. It was just so strange to hear him talk so vulnerable - willingly? "Okay. Who kidnapped Artemis and who are you?"

"I'm serious, Holls," Artemis rolled his eyes playfully at her. "And, to further exemplify my promise, I have a confession to make."

"A confession? Uh-oh," Holly straightened, sitting on her calves and knees. "What is it?"

Artemis exhaled quickly. "A bit earlier, during my panic attack, I, er, did something."

Holly raised a brow. "You… did something? Like…?" Her eyes noticed his bare hand hiding in his cuff and she grabbed it. "Like this?! What happened here?" she exclaimed, blue sparks sewing up his dried cuts as she lifted it to see.

"Well, yes, I did that as well, but that's not what I'm talking about. I, um…" he removed his hand from her, examining it so he could avoid her eyes. "I smoked a fairy substance. It's Keni's. She calls it green, though I'm not sure what it is."

Holly nearly facepalmed. "You did not…"

"...I did," Artemis admitted with a shrug. "It wasn't really all that bad, actually-"

"Uh-huh. No," Holly wagged a finger at him. "Don't start that!"

"You're the one who said to try something new everyday! Does that not count?"

"Experiences! Music! Food!" Holly threw her hands in the air. "I didn't mean drugs, Artemis. Frond almighty-"

"I don't know. I'd definitely consider it an experience," Artemis shrugged with a teasing grin.

"Artemis fucking Fowl. I swear to Frond-"

"Well. You wanted honesty. So, I'm being honest," he sighed, smoothing his curtain bangs back.

"I know! And I appreciate it, a lot," Holly reached for his hands, holding them in hers. "I've done some thinking too. And you were right. I can't police you on things like this. You're an adult and if you make stupid decisions, that's on you. So, just know I promise to support you. Well-" she rolled her eyes, "-I don't support you smoking but I support you, ya know, in other things."

"It was just once, Holly," Artemis chuckled, patting her hands. "And it was out of delusional desperation. I also learned it's not meant for human consumption. Well… that's unless I synthesized it and played with its chemical makeup. Perhaps I could tweak its glutamate and serotonin levels to 25% of what the drug currently releases, for example. Both have been proven to be quite beneficial in oral microdoses, along with therapy, but, then again, I haven't tested the substance, so it's just a theory."

Holly blinked at him. "Please tell me you did not just justify drug use with science."

"Ah, but it is science," Artemis said with a pointed finger and a playful wink.

"My gods," Holly snorted, reaching over to slurp down her tea. She was silent as she did so, staring at the twinkling city lights through her sheer curtains. An awkward silence befell them, as if both realized they'd gotten to the point of the conversation neither wanted to address.

Holly cleared her throat. "Arty… about what Trouble did…"

Oh no. Artemis decided to be unafraid, despite the anxiety bubbling in his chest. "Mhm?"

"So, we already established that it was fucked up, right? We didn't really talk about what was said though." Holly took a sharp inhale and placed her sights on Artemis. "What does that mean, that you see me as more than a friend?" It's your fault he's like this. Don't forget. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "I've been trying to make sense of it, but I don't want to assume, so I'd rather just ask you," she winced with a friendly smile. "Kinda awkward. Sorry."

Artemis nodded a little. "No, it's not awkward. It's completely understandable that you'd want clarification." His fingers drummed the top of the couch for a few moments while he silently organized an explanation. He looked at her door instead of her, hoping he could focus better this way.

"I've also been thinking about that, and if I'm entirely honest? I'm not really so sure myself," he admitted, the pale frosty pallor of his cheeks burning a cherry red. "The mesmer dug that confession out of the deepest recesses of my subconscious, and I wasn't totally aware of it myself." He grunted gruffly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Well, obviously we know that's not entirely true, considering-"

"Orion?" Holly grinned elfishly. She poked his arm once. "Yeah. We talked about that."

"Right. Well, my assumption is that it's similar to that," he nodded, placing his stubbled chin in his hand. "I think I hold such high regard for you, such respect and admiration, that I view you as more than a friend. You're…" he trailed off, his eyes and brows furrowed as he became lost in her features. Liar. You know you like her.

That doesn't matter. She deserves more than that.

Artemis cleared his throat again. "You're my greatest inspiration. You're one of the reasons I'm glad I'm still alive. You're a much better person than I could ever aspire to be, and for that, I hold you to the highest esteem. Platonically, of course," he added a little goofily, facepalming afterwards.

Holly's smile slowly transitioned into a sparkling grin, which then sparked a joyous laugh. She grabbed his hand so she could see his face, waving him off. "Don't be dorky now. I can't handle it." She pulled him in for another tight hug, a large smile plastered to her face. "You shouldn't put me on a pedestal, Arty," she said gently. "I'm not perfect, as you've seen this week."

"Well, I'm just as bad, Holls," he spoke gently back. "If not worse- no. Definitely worse. And you've stuck around, so…"

Holly laughed again, pulling back with her hands on his shoulders. She took a good look at him, analyzing his eyes, his brows, his lips. He seemed relieved, and like he was being genuinely open with her. She then remembered what he had said minutes ago, about earlier in his day. Her smile dropped and a look of concern washed over her warm features. "You had a panic attack? Did something happen?" She tightened her grip on his shoulders. "You said it wasn't what I said. Are you sure?"

Artemis grabbed her hands, placing them back on her lap. His face was soft, reassuring. "It's my illness to deal with. Though, I'm sure I scared off Keni."

Holly shook her head in confusion. "Wait, you were with Keni when it happened? What makes you say that?"

"I hid in the bathroom and she left. Not very eventful, but she didn't sound amused."

"She saw you like that and didn't tell me?" Holly huffed, furrowing her brow angrily. She scrolled through her phone, suddenly remembering she didn't have her number. "Gods dammit," she groaned.

"It only happened a few hours ago, Holls," Artemis insisted, grabbing his mug to sip his lukewarm tea. "It's not her fault, either, so don't blame her."

Holly put her phone down, remembering her promise to Artemis and herself. Don't baby him. "Okay. I won't push it then."

Artemis blinked at her mid-sip. "Wha- really?" He set the cup on his lap gracefully. "Keeping promises already, I see…"

"Yeah," she shrugged a bit too casually. "No biggie." Her phone trilled gently in front of her and she glanced at the screen. "Oh! A text from Lili." Holly's face fell as she read the screen. "Oh no."

Artemis glanced up, his interest piqued. "Oh no?"

"I was supposed to get dinner with her, but she's not feeling well. She wants to meet up tomorrow." Holly let her phone fall between her hands. "I hope she's okay."

"You're not on the type of grounds to comfort her yet, are you?" Artemis suggested.

Holly shook her head. "Not yet. We still need to talk about where our rivalry stemmed from. Then we can see about stuff like that. But-" she reached for her phone again, texting Trouble. "I know someone who can comfort her."

"Ah." Artemis took their empty tea mugs to Holly's metallic kitchen sink. "So, you're free tonight then?"

"Seems like." She stood from the couch and stretched her arms over her head, following after Artemis. "Wanna get some curry?"

Artemis nodded. "Is soup our thing now?"

"For sure," Holly wiggled her brows in excitement. "Nothing like a hot bowl of curry… and ramen… and soba… and chowder."

"You know, I'm not certain, but I'd say that you're hungry," Artemis chuckled.

Holly punched his arm playfully. "Just for that, cleaning's your chore this weekend!"

"What? All I did was state the very obvious!"

"Exactly. Tell me something I don't know!"

"You hate it when I do that."

Holly stared at him. "...…So, curry?!"

Lower Levels, Haven City

Canyon Springs Cafe & Overlook, Milk District

This wasn't something Artemis wanted to do, but it was something he needed to do.

He'd taken the liberty of sleeping in, a little exhausted from the previous day's events, and had planned his break-up speech in the mirror to Keni. He was certain the speech was well-paced and non-offensive. Now it was up to him to pull it off and not chicken out.

And so, after grooming himself and dodging a few pesky paparazzi on the way over, Artemis found himself at the spring overlook, sipping a hot, oat milk sim-latte. He had picked a high top table beside the overlook's glass railing, steam rising from rocky vents around the hot spring below.

He checked his phone screen for notifications, but had none. He sighed, setting the phone on the table as anxiety weighed in his chest. Did Keni lie when she said she'd meet him? Was she standing him up? Was she laughing at him from wherever she was for being so pathetic? Did she find him too worthless to even meet with?

"Hey!"

Artemis turned his head mid-thought, looking for the person who called out amongst the cafe patrons. A pixie in a black mesh top and hot pink cargo pants strode towards him with lilac space buns, her curls falling around her bare shoulders. She waved to him and he sighed in relief. There was nothing to be worried about. Remember. You have this planned.

He felt his heart thump dramatically in his chest as she took a seat opposite him. He nodded to the to-go coffee on her side. "That's for you, by the way."

"Thanks!" Keni smiled at him, taking a few sips of her coffee silently. She looked out over the railing at the spring below, ignoring Artemis' uncomfortable shuffling. "So. I'm guessing you wanted to meet over yesterday?"

"Not particularly," Artemis said, leaning onto his elbows. "Though I apologize if I scared you. I get panic attacks, and unfortunately, I cannot control them."

"It's okay," Keni shrugged. "It happens. Everyone's got something. Are you okay?"

"Yes. Quite fine." Artemis chewed his lip over, straightening his posture. "I don't want to waste your time, and so I'll get straight to the point: I- …I think-..." He froze up, suddenly forgetting his entire speech. Some genius you are.

What would Holly do? Well, she might punch Keni. No, no. Besides that, she'd say 'speak from your heart.' Can I do that?

Artemis coughed, hitting his chest. "Apologies. What I'd like to say first is, I think you're wonderful. You're witty, and your sense of humor is genuinely amusing. I think you're extremely pretty, though I'm sure you already know that."

"Well, yeah. I assumed that since you're fucking me," Keni winked, fiddling with the silver hoops that adorned her pointed ears. "But thanks, hot stuff."

Artemis nearly spit out his latte. "Right. Of course." He looked around, anxious someone might've overheard when he realized there were a few paparazzi hiding behind the umbrellas at their café tables, snapping away his conversation with Keni.

Keni noticed his gaze and followed it, smirking to herself. "Hmph. Looks like we have an audience! Let's give them a show, yeah?" She reached across the table for Artemis' tie, yanking him towards her so she could plant a firm kiss to his lips.

The cameras were clicking away rapidly now, the paparazzi muttering ecstatically under their breath.

But the pixie was undeterred. Before Artemis could protest, she dropped his tie and sat back in her seat. "So?" Keni folded her arms, arching a brow at him. "What're you getting at, Boss?"

"I- uh…" Artemis glanced between her and the paparazzi, eventually dropping his forehead into his palm. "Keni, I…" Artemis straightened, forcing himself to look into her almond-shaped, indigo eyes. "I believe I've been engaging with you for the wrong reasons. I know this arrangement we have is primarily for casual intercourse, but I believe it is wrong of me to continue this knowing that it's a mere distraction, and I don't want to waste your time or hurt your feelings any more than I already have. So, what I'm trying to say, is, I- I think-"

"Are you…" Keni peered at him closely. "Nooo. Are you breaking up with me?"

Artemis blinked at her, actually afraid to answer. "Y-yes. That's why we're here."

Keni blinked at him back until she threw her head back into a wholesome, hearty laugh. "Oh gods, oh gods!" she cackled, wiping her eyes.

Artemis frowned, straightening his suit out of anxiety, or was it fear now? He wasn't sure. "I was being serious."

Keni took a big breath and reached over the table once more, patting his cheek fondly. "Oh. Oh, you're so sweet for a human. They really had you pinned as this evil, scary, ruthless monster." Artemis tried to open his mouth to answer but Keni placed a finger to his lips to shush him. "Artemis, you didn't have to break up with me. You could've just texted me you didn't want to hook up anymore. It's not that serious."

Truth be told, Artemis was a little stunned. His only real experience with break ups came from Minerva, and though it had been her who ended their two-year relationship, it was a fiery and explosive end that came with lots of crying and screaming. It was not an experience Artemis wished to repeat any time soon, or ever again, for that matter. So, was Keni serious? Was there a secret camera planted somewhere (that wasn't paparazzi?). Was she actually furious and was masking it? He couldn't shake off the feeling that things had been too easy.

"Kens, are you sure you're okay with this?" Artemis asked with uncertainty. "I've just admitted to using you for sex."

"Uh, yeah, Artemis. That's what fuck buddies do," Keni giggled, booping his pointed nose before retreating her hand. "I used you as much as you used me. If you're not comfortable with it anymore, then that's that. We go back to being big boss and little boss." She winked at him. "I'm big boss, by the way."

"Fine by me," Artemis chuckled, resting back in the tiny chair. His eyes scanned the steaming spring again. "So, we just go back to how things were?"

"Yup, though, don't blame me if I do flirt with you from time to time," she shrugged with a playful glint in her eyes. "I'll miss this. It was fun." She nearly cooed at him, reaching forward to pinch his cheek gently. "Aw. You're so cute." The pinch turned into a light pat. "Anyway, I'mma go, K? I'll see you around?" she winked and got off her chair, swiftly scooping her coffee cup and whirling around.

"Bye!" Keni called over her shoulder, her bouncy curls the last thing Artemis would see as she disappeared into the bustling mass of fairies on Haven's Stick.

Artemis sighed, resting his scratchy chin on his hand in thought. Keni seemed fine, but he couldn't shake the feeling she didn't really feel that way. Maybe he was a little paranoid, or traumatized even, though he'd use the latter word lightly. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that things weren't as they appeared. His genius sought after the truth when his phone trilled insistently on the tabletop.

It was an Irish number calling him.

Artemis' fingers hovered over the screen, completely taken by surprise. An Irish number? His mother's number was saved into his phone. That would mean it could only be one of four people. His heart pounded in his chest, and he was unsure if it would actually combust and explode this time. His finger swiped right, accepting the call.

"Hello?"

"Artemis." It was a gentle, booming voice, one so deep Artemis had to turn up his volume a tad. He knew this voice. He knew exactly who this was.

"Butler," Artemis breathed in awe. He got off the chair, moving towards the glass railing to look over the spring below. "Hello, old friend."

"It's good to hear your voice, Artemis," Butler said through the speaker. He swore he could see the bodyguard's warm smile. "How are you?"

"I am well enough, thank you," Artemis remarked as a confused smile crept his cheeks. He leaned on the railing at his hips. "How did you get this number, by the way? Not that I mind, of course."

"Holly, actually," Butler replied. "She was worried about you and called me. She thought a call from me would cheer you up."

"Of course she did," Artemis sighed with flushed cheeks. "I think you'd be extremely proud of her, Butler. She's improved her combat skills tenfold since we last saw her. She defeated an entire gang of Yakuza by her lonesome. Oh, and then yesterday, she-"

"Artemis," Butler chuckled from the other line. "Holly stays in touch. I'm calling to hear about you."

"Oh. Of course, but I am fine, Butler," Artemis insisted. "Holly's extremely protective of me, is all. I'm her human, or something like that."

"I see…"

"Anyway. I'd love to hear about you," Artemis stared at the clear waters below, Haven's twinkling lights sparkling on the surface like glitter. "What're you doing now? I'd imagine you're in that little cottage by the sea that you love."

"You'd be right!" Butler affirmed. "The village of Duncade is lovely this time of year. I'm glad we got back in time for spring and skipped the winter." Butler cleared his throat over the line, his voice firmer this time. "Artemis. I know I haven't spoken to you since we got back. I want you to know I think of you everyday. Things have just been… I feel like I failed you. So, be honest with me. Are you okay?"

Artemis pressed his lips into a thin line. Two tense conversations, back-to-back? What were the odds? "I'm better than you think," Artemis replied eventually, unable to help a small smile to himself. It was good to hear from Butler. Though he was his oldest friend, Artemis saw the bodyguard as more than that. He was more like the father his own father had failed to be, forever at Artemis' side when no one else was. He always believed in him, and though his schemes were usually extreme in nature, Butler always supported Artemis' plans, even as a mere child.

"I don't want you to worry about me, old friend," Artemis sighed in fondness. "I'm currently the CEO of one of the largest distribution companies in Haven, and soon, the fairy world. You'd be pleased to know it's all legal, of course."

"I'd congratulate you, but I'm honestly not surprised," Butler laughed joyously, the depth of his voice distorting the speaker. "I wouldn't expect anything less from the great Artemis Fowl. I'm sure your father is pleased with your ventures, keeping them clean and all."

Artemis froze. He hadn't thought of his actual father in a while, and the memory of the lashing he'd endured from him weeks ago sunk his heart. He held his head down as his father's words cycled in his mind.

"I didn't get my real son back. My firstborn son is dead."

His blue eyes hardened, steely grey like the waters below. "Yes. Have you spoken with him at all?"

"Of course. I've been by a few times to check on things. They said you've moved to Haven now, and that they're proud of the awards you've won since we've been back. You know, it really hasn't been that long, has it?"

"It hasn't, and it's felt like a lifetime," Artemis agreed with a sigh. His parents were proud of him? Since when? "You mentioned my parents were proud of my awards. What did they say, exactly?"

Butler hmmed in thought for a second. "Your father said he was proud of the minerals you found and crafted. Did you ever tell them what they meant, by the way?"

"What what meant?"

"The crystals. You named artelite after yourself, and quadrastite after your friends. Remember? You said it was for Holly, Foaly, me, and-"

"Juliet, yes," Artemis chuckled. "It's a shame the ones for Mulch and N°1 were lost to space."

"Right. That day was…" He trailed off, and though he couldn't see him, Artemis could tell the bodyguard was uncomfortable.

"Let's not dwell on it. It was years ago, and we're both fine," Artemis asserted, clearing his throat. He moved off the railing and headed through the café back towards Haven's Stick. "Anyway, Butler, I really am more interested in hearing about you. I do miss you dearly. Please tell me about your exploits."

"My exploits," Butler bellowed in laughter. "I am not you, Artemis. I'm not sure my trips to the farmer's market for leeks and peppers count as exploits."

"Exactly, old friend."

Mulberry Row Condominiums

Apartment 224

After a sentimental and heartfelt talk with Butler on his way back to Holly's apartment, Artemis was in good spirits. Things with Holly were being repaired, his break-up with Keni had gone better than expected, and hearing from Butler had filled Artemis with comfort and security.

So, wanting to spread the joy he felt, Artemis stopped by the juice bar in the stretch of shops on the Midway, grabbing one of those nettle smoothies Holly was so fond of. He started going over potential conversations they'd have in his head, wondering if the smoothie was made to her liking, or maybe if she had an activity planned for their weekend. So, when Artemis pressed his palm to her door, the scanner pulsing green and the door unlocking and sliding open, what reality actually had in store for him was not one he'd anticipated.

"AHH! NO! GET OUT!" Holly roared from somewhere in her living room, "GET THE FUCKKK OUUUT!" she almost whined.

Artemis couldn't tell if she was furious, weeping, or laughing but he froze in the doorway. "Holly? What's wrong?"

"Nothing! Please, just-" she groaned, huffing away at something out of sight. "Just please don't come in."

Artemis blinked, brows furrowed in wild confusion. "Holly… you're making me nervous." He moved forward anyway, carefully peeking over the edge of the sofa. Holly was on her knees over one cushion, scrubbing away furiously at the fabric with a rag. Artemis raised a brow. "Are you okay?"

Holly's eyes snapped up from the cushion and nearly popped out of her head at the sight of Artemis. "AHHH! I SAID STAY BY THE DOOR!"

"Okay!"

"HURRY UP! GO AWAY!"

"Okay! Okay! Holly," Artemis couldn't help but laugh now as he strode back to the doorway. "What- What are you doing?"

"Shut up and stay there. It's none of your business."

Artemis tried to piece contextual clues together to determine what the issue was. She was obviously deeply embarrassed and didn't want him to see what she was scrubbing. His thoughts went to the next logical solution: something had spilled or stained the cushion. It could be food, though that wouldn't cause the shame she was exhibiting. That meant it was likely something more biological. She did sleep on the couch. Maybe… He decided to take the risk and test it.

"Don't worry too much, Holls," he reassured, avoiding looking in her direction. "It's about the same color as your sofa anyway."

There was a long winded silence before he saw Holly's mismatched eyes shoot balls of fire at him from over the lip of the couch. "What?"

"That's what it is, right? That's why you're embarrassed?"

Holly jumped up and gaped at him. "What the- how the hell did you figure that out?"

Artemis grinned over at her, tapping his temple with a pointer finger. "I'm a genius. Remember?" He advanced forward into her apartment despite the glare pinned to him, making for her sink. "Do you need help? I'd suggest hydrogen peroxide but that may damage the fabric. I've also heard bar soap is fantastic at getting stains out, though I couldn't exactly tell you why," he shrugged as he moved over to Holly, who was still kneeled on the couch.

Holly didn't say anything; she just arched a brow at him. Her fiery, yet bewildered glare made Artemis chuckle.

"Minerva told me once," he explained in English. "I'm no stranger to periods. Is that what fairies call them? I'm not sure what the Gnommish translation is for menstruation."

Holly's cheeks burned and she kicked Artemis away warningly. "Uh- no! Go away! It's shameful! Faeries don't talk about it unless you're with other girls." She offered him an apologetic smile. "Sorry. This is really embarrassing."

"It's not," Artemis raised a brow seriously. "About half of most animal populations experience menstruation. It's completely natural, and to be honest, and maybe this is just my scientific standpoint, I've never understood the taboo behind them. Or most cultural and societal concepts, really."

"Sometimes I forget you're a super nerd that doesn't think like normal people," Holly sighed as her head fell into her arms. "It just happened. I woke up from a nap and it came out of nowhere. But, yeah. You're right. It shouldn't be that big of a deal. But it is." Her eyes met the floor in shame. "I hate that that dick was right. He said my lunar cycle was to blame. Maybe he was right. Maybe I am too unstable."

Artemis burst into uncontrollable laughter and Holly blinked at him angrily. "Wha-what's so funny to you?!"

"You're really going to let that perverse low-life affect your self-esteem?" Artemis put a hand on her shoulder. "Absolutely not. You're unstable always, with or without the hormones that accompany a cycle. You're one of the most chaotic people I've ever met."

Holly grew a strange deadpan smile, one of those grimace-grins she formed around Fowls. "...I'm not sure that makes me feel better."

Artemis rolled his eyes, suddenly remembering there was a nettle smoothie in his left hand. "Oh! I got this for you," he said as he handed it to her. "Hopefully it's still cold enough."

Holly's ears perked up at the cup. "Oh?" She took a sip through the biodegradable straw and squealed in delight to herself. "Mmm! Nettle!" She smiled at him as she slurped it down. "You remembered."

"I'm quite observant, you know," Artemis started playfully. When Holly's acrylic mail delivery tube dinged, he continued teasing her as he took the opportunity to check it out. "You should give me more credit."

"Hah! You get plenty credit," Holly quipped, finishing her scrubbing to peek at the tube against her kitchen wall. "Oh! What've I got?"

Artemis lifted the clear cover and sorted through the letters and a tiny plastic box. "Well, they're all addressed to you. This one's LEP business… this one's a bank statement-" he glanced at her, "why are your statements in paper?"

"Nostalgia," Holly shrugged. "Having everything digital would drive us insane. Fairies need to touch things sometimes."

"Ah. Fascinating." He turned back to her mail. "This one is also from the LEP, as well as-" He turned to her again with a frown. "All of your mail is from the LEP."

"Yup. Sounds about right."

"And there's this." He strolled back over to her and handed her the tiny box.

"Oh! Thanks," she smiled, snapping it open and grabbing the cloth inside. She held up a pair of small cactus socks. "I got socks!" she exclaimed with an innocent smile and jumped off the couch. She slid the plastic container back inside the mail tube, closed the clear cover on top, and the vacuum-like tube sucked the box down.

"They reuse the boxes to deliver things like clothing and shoes," Holly explained, slipping her new socks on. "That way, we're reducing waste."

"Very useful design, indeed," Artemis agreed. "Is it Foaly's?"

"Of course. Like everything," Holly snorted. "But it's not his original idea. The faeries have been using delivery chutes since forever. Foaly just expanded on it. Don't tell him I said that."

"I will most definitely mention it to him," Artemis smirked, hiding the sly expression behind his thumb. "And I'm certainly not about to give you grief over it."

"Oh. Never." Holly flopped onto her back, exhaling a loud sigh. "So, how are things with Keni?"

"Oh." Artemis sat beside her, leaning back against the sofa. "I saw her less than an hour ago. I decided to stop seeing her."

Holly's ears perked up, turning on her side to stare at him. "So you ended things? Wait, why?! How did she react?"

"Fine, I think? I just felt that it was wrong of me to continue, given the circumstances. She seemed indifferent to it, honestly. Though…I can't shake the idea that something feels… off."

"Feels off?" Holly raised her brows. "Don't tell me Artemis Fowl is using his intuition right now."

Artemis gave a small laugh, turning his head lazily to peek at her. "Yes, Holly. You seem to be having that effect on me."

She jammed a finger in his face playfully. "Don't blame this on me! Besides, it's probably your own guilt you feel for using her."

"Ouch."

"It's true," Holly shrugged, patting his shoulders. She continued facetiously, "Guess you really are the typical, red-blooded male, after all."

"Pfft. Most definitely not," Artemis shook his head, his cheeks blushing as he knew some well-deserved teasing was on its way.

"Mhm," Holly continued casually, poking his shoulder from a distance now. "You even looked at my ass earlier."

Artemis jolted up from this and glanced at her wild-eyed. "I did not!"

"You totally did."

"When?" he demanded a little adamantly.

But Holly was deeply amused. She struggled to not burst into laughter, biting down on her lip as she mumbled out, "Back in Tokyo? At the Yakuza hideout?"

"That's not earlier, that was weeks ago," Artemis rolled his eyes, falling back into the couch . "And I only looked at your bottom because you asked me to."

"Say ass."

"Ass," Artemis smiled guiltily in amusement.

"We're adults here, Arty," Holly patted his shoulder again with an innocent pout. "We don't need to use words like bottom."

"Well, I'll have you know I'm not vulgar like you. I don't prefer to swear every other sentence."

"WHAT?!" Holly wheeled back, fiddling with her braid. "Look, don't expose me like this. Alright, fine. You know the LEP have a whole file on me because of that?"

"For swearing?"

"See, I was bitten by a swear toad… on the ass."

"Hmm. Your poor ass has been through a lot, hasn't it?" Artemis managed lamely through a devious grin.

Holly groaned loudly. "Please tell me that wasn't a joke."

"It was an attempt."

"Artemis fucking Fowl."

Artemis wiggled his thick brows at her, exemplifying his point. "See?"

Holly popped into a criss-cross sitting style and raised a single pointer finger. "Listen, I get the swearing from my mom's side. She was a European elf. Feisty type, those bunch. Maybe I do it because it reminds me of her or something."

"What was your mother's name again?" Artemis asked, crossing his suited legs.

Holly's fingers played with themselves absent-mindedly as she remembered back to her younger days, when things were simple. "Coral," she said fondly. "Coral Short. Man… the things I could tell you about her."

Artemis sat up slowly, picking up on Holly's change of tone. He took her hand in his, holding it gently in her lap. "I'm sorry. I can only imagine how much you miss her."

"I miss both of them," she smiled sadly, her usually bright eyes distant and cloudy. "I never stopped. It's why I could never hate you for what you did. Your parents mean the world to you."

Holly put her other hand on top of the ones already in her lap. She kept her head down as her grip tightened on his fingers. "During holidays, I used to get really lonely, so I'd put up pictures of them at the table so they could eat with me. That way, I wasn't alone. I hate eating alone." She covered her eyes in shame. "That's crazy, right? I must sound nuts."

Artemis lifted his hand to her shoulder. "No. No, it's not. I understand how that feels, Holly. I would do the same." And it was true. His father was presumed dead for two years. Artemis knew how deadly it was to miss a parent. It was torture.

"Well," Holly continued, "Foaly started inviting me over years ago, and I don't think I've ever looked back since." She looked up to catch Artemis' eyes, offering him a small smile. "I think what I'm trying to say is that I don't mind having you here. It's like, I always have someone to talk to. It's actually kind of nice. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm really glad you're back."

"Oh," Artemis actually cooed, patting Holly's hands in his. "Thank you, Holls. That's very sweet of you, and I'm eternally grateful to be back." Artemis opened up his arms a little. "Could I request a hug? I think this calls for a hug."

"Of course," Holly grinned, falling forward into his embrace and pulling him in close. "You don't need to ask to hug me," she murmured into his shoulder. "Those are always open to you." She couldn't deny that being in the warmth of his chest was extremely fulfilling, and despite his lanky frame and lack of physicality, she couldn't help but feel safe in his arms.

"I still like to ask, just in case," Artemis explained quietly, softly stroking his fingers through her thick waves. "I must say, however: it's amusing how this conversation shifted from asses to learning about your parents."

Holly reeled back to peer up at him playfully yet dangerously. " Do not ever put my parents and ass in the same sentence ever again."

"Noted."

Several hours later after chatting and lounging around, Holly had left Artemis alone and in charge of cleaning the apartment while she met with Lili for dinner. She left a green notepad of instructions stuck to her fridge, cleaning items and chores scribbled in Gnommish. Artemis' fingers brushed over the list.

1. Dust and clean furniture and walls

2. Mop floor. Turn floor-suction on by light switch by closet.

3. Do dishes. Finish in washer. Put away in drawers.

4. DO YOUR OWN LAUNDRY ARTY❤ detergent is above the washer/dryer machine! (use Faetube if you need help! plz don't put your clothes in the dishwasher)

5. Put trash down wall recycler in kitchen (next to dishwasher)

Artemis nodded to himself in determination. Only five things to finish before she got back. Five chores couldn't be so hard, right? Granted, they were mostly things he had never done before, but he was a 200 IQ genius! This wasn't rocket science. It was domestic duty.

Artemis hadn't started excited, as most people, but as he sprayed the purple cleaner on a wet rag and slid it over the white granite countertops in her open-floor kitchen, he experienced a similar sort of catharsis to when he'd gone personal shopping. Organizing things together, then clearing out the clutter? Watching the dirt scrub away and reveal the clean surface underneath? Or how fresh the air seemed after a slight dusting? Artemis had uncovered a secret love: cleaning.

"Achoooo!"

He looked around for a wipe, or maybe a paper towel as he sniffled back a slight dust mite allergy. "ACHOOO!" he sneezed again, frowning this time.

Okay. So, maybe dusting wasn't the chore for him.

After wiping down Holly's walls and surfaces, the sweat beneath his bangs, and surviving a dust attack, Artemis grabbed a red pen from her kitchen and scratched off the first on the list. He felt proud. Was this what it meant to be normal? His mother would be riveted.

He sniffled a little more as he moved on to mop her floors. A little water, a little herbal cleaner. Easy. He struck it off with the red pen.

Now were the dishes. Artemis unfolded the list, checking it again. "Finish in washer, put away in drawers." Artemis sighed as he put the list back in his pocket. "Terrible grammar."

The dishes were soothing for Artemis, the same way wiping the walls and counters clean was. As he leaned over to scrub a bowl of curry in the sink, he wondered how he would've been different had he been raised as a normal child by a normal family. Would he even be the genius that he was? What if that normal family couldn't afford to fund his genius? What if this, this scrubbing and soaking of these dishes, was the only way he could get by, despite his genius? Who would that Artemis have become? Who would he be? Who was he now?

He stopped scrubbing, staring down at the soapy bubbles in the metal sink. It wasn't too late to find that out, was it?

Artemis mindlessly loaded the dishwasher as he daydreamed of what could've been, most unusual for him. However, he was in unusual circumstances.

He poured dish soap into the small compartment in the washer door and closed it, reaching his arms over his head to stretch out sore muscles. Chores were quite a workout, weren't they? He glanced down and noticed his white shirt was soaked in water. Good time to break for a shower.

One thing Artemis loved about Haven's water system was that the water was consistently recycled, cleaned, and hot. The setting Holly always left it on was a little too hot for his taste, but that seemed to be the case with human women as well. Hellish creatures, beautiful females were.

Only two chores left, and perhaps the easiest of the bunch. Artemis stepped out of the steamy bathroom with a towel around his waist, ruffling a hand towel through his sopping raven locks when his bottom half felt as soaked as his top. He froze in the center of Holly's living room, eyes wide at her wall, terrified to look down. Oh… oh no.

His blue eyes slowly craned downwards, blinking at the mass of white foam engorging his legs and feet. What have I done?!

Mountains of bubbles swarmed Holly's living room and kitchen floor, and the dishwasher showed no signs of stopping soon. Artemis treaded through the swamp of soap, his fingers urgently ripping the dishwasher open. It stopped and burst open, foam and water seeping out onto his feet.

"Oh, hellfire!" he swore, his eyes darting around to search for anything to soak the bubbles up with when he remembered the apartment's floor suction feature. He trudged through the thick sea of foam and flicked the switch on the wall next to the recycler. A buzzing reverberated throughout the apartment walls, and the vacuum that lined the trim of the floor opened its vents, suctioning all the debris, pools of water and foam until they were sucked dry and the floor was left squeaky clean.

Artemis panted as he rested his forehead on the wall, looking down at his soaked, bubble-covered body. Perhaps another rinse was due?

After yet another shower, Artemis opted for a navy, cashmere sweatshirt and heather grey pyjama pants. He caught himself in the mirror, thinking about what Keni had said the day prior. He poked a bicep with disdain. Am I too skinny? I've always been thin. My caloric intake is average, but my physical activity is low. He poked his stomach this time. Maybe I am too thin. Does Holly care? He groaned, smacking his forehead. It doesn't matter if Holly cares. Why do you care if she cares? Artemis rolled his eyes at himself, moving on with his chores.

Finally. Just the laundry, and throwing the trash out. Sure, the other three chores had taken Artemis nearly two hours, but this would be as easy as lemon should be squeezy… or something like that.

Artemis stood in front of Holly's washer/dryer machine and inspected the machine carefully, sure to look at the Gnommish buttons and knobs. There were so many options: low spin, high spin, normal wash (normal?), delicates, handwash, wool, bulky. Artemis peered down at the laundry basket of clothing. He knew he couldn't wash his suits, but how would he separate them? By fabric? That had to make sense, right? He loaded his pyjamas and house clothes, but only the cotton ones. Artemis scratched his head as he looked between the machine and his laundry basket. If he did this by fabrics, it would take years to finish.

"No, no. This can't be right," he mumbled to himself as he looked up a tutorial on Faetube, the fairies' version of Youtube. "Ridiculous," he uttered as he perused options. "I've built a spaceship, but I can't run a domestic machine. This isn't rocket science. It's laundry!"

"Oh… it's by color?!"

Five minutes after re-sorting his clothes, figuring out the difference between detergent and fabric softener and how much to use so he didn't explode this machine too , Artemis finally finished, closing the clear bubble cover with a relieved sigh. See? You can do this. Almost done.

Artemis exited the tiny hallway beside the bedroom to stroll back out into the living room. The apartment was dimly lit now. An acrylic lamp and a dangling kitchen light warmed up the space with golden light, a comfort against the night city sky beyond the curtains. Artemis rubbed his tired eyes and yawned, a little worn out from his chores. As he lifted his fingers and opened his eyes, readjusting his vision, he noticed a strange black and white pillow on the couch. He blinked and shook his head, unsure if he was too dazed to see properly. As his vision resettled, the pillow in question was, in fact, not a pillow, but a fluffy black and white cat.

Artemis froze, blinking at the cat in question. The cat blinked its brilliant blue eyes back at him, and between two, tiny fangs whined, "Mleh."

It was as if the cat's meow shocked Artemis with copious amounts of electricity because he jolted up, his eyes and mouth spreading wide in fear. He scrambled for his comm ring, terrified to take his eyes off the small, furry creature. The comm buzzed for a few rings and as soon as Artemis heard the ringer click in acceptance, he hollered before she could answer, "HOLLY! HOLLY, WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM!"

Upper Levels, Haven City

Hābu Fine Dining

"Okay, but remember the time Chuckie Pollock pissed his pants asking you out?"

"Jesus Christ!" Lili laughed opposite Holly at their dinner table inside the Japanese vegan restaurant. "That whole year was a nightmare. Remember when they made us be the victim in front of the class for all the demonstrations?"

Holly chuckled as she played with her spicy radish nigiri. "Gods. The Academy was a fever dream sometimes."

"Didn't we hate each other before that too?" Lili asked.

"Hmm… you mean back when classes were still segregated by species? Remember that?"

"Yeah, that was fucked. But no, no. I meant, like, our 50s."

"Oh! Yeah. Did we hate each other then?" Holly raised a brow at her. "I only remember hating you since the Academy."

Lili stopped mid-bite of her wakame, thinking hard on it. "Oh… shit. Guess it was one-sided," she laughed, continuing to elegantly chow down her seaweed salad with metal chopsticks.

"So. We both hated each other until…"

"Yesterday? Now?" she questioned Holly suspiciously, but a light grin tugged at her lips.

"No, not now." Holly playfully rolled her eyes. "Definitely yesterday, though. Or, really… maybe…" Holly cast her eyes down at the colorful array of vegetables on her lava rock plate. "I don't think I ever really, truly hated you. To be honest, I had no real reason to. I mean, you did steal my first boyfriend, but besides that-"

"Okay, no," Lili interrupted with a finger. "He was a dick. He thought he was hotshit after scoring you and came for me. He kissed me. Not the other way around! Plus you already punched me for it."

"I know! I know! I'm sorry," Holly apologized sheepishly. "I believe you. I'm sorry I didn't back then."

Holly took a deep breath to settle herself and continue. "Well, I think I was envious of you, Lili. I was jealous. I was resentful. And I think it was the LEP that made us that way. I think they wanted us to hate each other - the only girls in the Academy. And I wanted to be like the guys so badly, I was so desperate to fit in and be accepted, I gave them what they wanted. I hated you because they told me to. And, I mean, obviously that's not okay, and it's been years and I should've known better but I just-" She finally looked directly at Lili, her eyes heavy with regret. "I hated that you were everything I wasn't. You're gorgeous. You have perfect skin, and you're the face of the LEP even though, no offense, you haven't done anything exactly significant."

Holly waved a hand at her own chest. "You have the boobs I never had. You're tall. You're royalty. You still have your parents, your family. You're well-spoken and classy. You're… perfect. And I couldn't stand knowing someone so perfect was my direct competition at all times. Because I'm not perfect. I'm a fuck-up. A test case. Sometimes, even a basket case. The only reason I'm relevant is because of Artemis Fowl. You're relevant just for being you."

Holly rested her heart-shaped face into her hand. "I don't hate you. I wish I was you," she lamented thoughtfully.

Lili nodded, a small smile gracing her features. "I thought you might say that," she commented, swishing the red wine in her glass before taking a long sip.

"Really?" Holly asked, her ears perked up a little in surprise.

Lili fixed her gaze back on Holly as she set her wine glass down. "Mhm. You're pretty predictable, Short," she winked. "I'll be honest: I saw through it all, and I used it to my advantage. I knew exactly what to do and what to say to piss you off. You're not crazy: I basically manipulated you into hating me even more."

Holly shook her head, a little disgruntled by this. "Why would you do that?"

Lili gave her a sad smile. "It was my way of getting back at you, for all the things you had that you seemed to never recognize. It almost felt like you didn't appreciate it, especially yourself."

"What are you saying?"

"You may have wished to be me, Holly," Lili sighed, her shoulders a little drooped. "But I wanted to be you." Her eyes gave a glint of melancholy, her shaped brows a mix of emotions. "You're one of the strongest people I've ever seen. You're reliable. If you say you're going to do something, you get it done. Maybe it's not conventional, but you always come through." Lili's eyes scanned her briefly. "And you may not think it, but you're totally hot. There's a reason the guys bother you as much as they do me. Difference is, you always knew how to make them respect you - and I hated you for that." Lili's eyes dropped at her wine glass, watching the ruby liquid swirl. "You have to understand - I'm royalty. I'm a princess, and in a few centuries, I may become Queen. If I can't make my own comrades respect me, how can I make The People?"

"Everyone always talks about wanting to be prettier, thinner, hotter, bigger boobs, blonde hair, whatever. But no one talks about how people treat you when you are those things. Because that's what they are: they're things. And ultimately, you become a thing to them, too." Her pink nails tapped the glass, testing the air between them.

Holly grabbed her hand reassuringly. "Go on," she urged her.

Lili blushed at the touch but nodded. "Well, it's like… I mean, you proved my point yesterday, with the whole slut-shaming thing?"

"Oh," Holly tensed. "Yeah…"

"Yeah… Well, that's all people see me as half the time. Either a stuck-up princess bitch, which I admit, I can be sometimes, or they see me as a pretty face who's an otherwise waste of space. I'm not sure why people equate blondes with stupidity, or beauty with weakness. But, you see me as that too. And sure, the LEP totally pitted us against each other, but I'm sure you also believed it at some points. And, even moreso, what's so bad about being a 'slut' if you're single and getting consent? I'm not having children irresponsibly. I've never understood why slut-shaming was ever a thing. It seems like something primitive humans would do."

"I hate to admit it, but the more time I spend on the surface and with Artemis, the more I've come to learn that humans and fairies have more things in common than apart," Holly nodded with shame, her eyes locked on the pink orchid petals on her plate.

"Right, so why are we still holding onto that? We have magick. We create advanced technology too." Lili threw her hands up frustratedly. "So why are we still placing girls in the gutter? Haven't we proved enough by now?" She determinedly hit her fist into her palm. "We're not breeding vessels, like you said. And it's not our purpose to be that, either. We're fighters. We're soldiers. We're brave, and smart, and strong, and we can be slutty and pretty too. We can be both, Holly. It's not either/or. We should be able to do what we want without being penalized for it. I mean, is that so crazy?! Like, am I wrong?!" Lili snorted, sipping at her wine again. "It really doesn't seem that 'new age' to me."

"It's not," Holly agreed, finally taking a bite of her food. "I feel terrible about contributing to all of it, though."

"It's okay. I'm not innocent either," Lili shrugged, tossing a blonde curl over her shoulder. "Besides, we can start a new era as friends. We already know everything we hate about each other. Seems like the perfect recipe for an uninhibited friendship to me," she winked.

Holly nodded but kept her gaze down. She was trying to control the wildfire of emotions that were zipping through her bloodstream as she thought of the next topic to bring up to Lili. A topic of utmost importance to her. "Lili…there's something else that's bothered me we haven't addressed yet."

"Oh. Okay, sure," Lili complied, straightening her back and leaning forward a bit. "I'm listening."

"You've brought up my parents. A lot."

Lili's face fell, pretty features washed away by sullen sorrow. "Oh. Yeah."

Holly gulped calmly, her face emotionless. "You know they're dead and yet you still did it. Like you said, you always knew how to piss me off. Why would you use them?" Holly clamped down on her lip to hold back tears. "Why would you do that?"

Lili was quiet as she stared at her wine again, deep in thought. Finally, she sighed between parted lips. "Everyone wants to be royalty, but no one knows how lonely and diplomatic it is. I didn't get hugs as a child. I got lashings if I didn't recite public speeches perfectly. I wasn't allowed friends, I wasn't allowed to play. It was 'be pretty, stand still, and be silent.' Did you ever notice my family wasn't at a single one of our graduations?" Lili rested her chin on hand, her brow creased. "The reason I didn't meet yesterday was because I stupidly called my mother, thinking things would be different. That this was a different circumstance." She wiped a tear away in a flash. "She told me, 'If you were more assertive, this wouldn't have happened. That job isn't for you, anyway. What did you expect?'" She sniffled a little and glanced at Holly.

"Do you remember back when we were 45?" Lili responded, a fond, faraway look in her eyes. "In primary school? And your mom had forgotten your lunch, so I gave you some gold instead?"

Holly gaped at her. "Holy hell. That's oddly specific."

"Yeah, well, that day always stuck with me because not long after, your mom came by in her uniform and she was, like, totally out of sorts. But she came all that way just to make sure you got your lunch. So, I guess you don't remember, but you handed me back the gold I gave you and your mom saw. I never told you, but-" Another tear drizzled down Lili's golden cheek but she wiped it away quickly. "Your mom gave me a hug and said 'Thank you, sweet pea. Please look after Holly. You're a good friend.'"

A few more tears leaked out but Lili swiped them all away, refusing to look at Holly's wet face. "When she hugged me, how warm and motherly she felt… that one, quick moment was the first act of kindness I'd ever experienced. And so, when your parents died… I also felt like I failed her, and you. And I hated you for that. I don't know why I blamed you. We were babies. How could that have been your fault? But I couldn't help it. I was so mad at you for having what I always wanted, and now you didn't have it either. I guess it just always stuck with me. I really didn't have anything else on you, besides that you're wildly insecure, combative, impulsive-"

"I've got it," Holly stopped her with a palm, a small smile on her flushed face. "I'm sorry."

"No, Holly," Lili insisted, grabbing her hands from across the table. "I'm sorry. I've been out of line for years. I don't even know how to make up for that."

"We've both said unimaginable things to each other," Holly tapped her soft hands to assure her. "Now, all we can do is start over."

"Yeah," Lili smiled back, removing her hands and smoothing her hair. "Ah! Sorry. Didn't mean to start crying in a restaurant."

"It's okay. I cry pretty much anywhere," Holly joked. She remembered back to yesterday. "So, speaking of yesterday. Did Trouble end up coming over?"

Lili hesitated and peered at her suspiciously with a smile. "Yeah… why?"

Holly jiggled her brows at her. "How did that go?"

"Oh, please," Lili rolled her eyes, giggling. "He's too nice to try anything right now."

"Yeah, but-" Holly was interrupted by the buzzing of her fairy communicator on her finger and she blinked at it. "Oh! Sorry, can I take this? It's Artemis."

"Yeah, I don't mind."

She clicked it on and began, "Hey, A-"

"HOLLY! HOLLY, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!"

Mulberry Row Condominiums

Apartment 224

"A problem?" Holly questioned urgently from the line. "What kind of problem, Artemis?!"

"Okay," Artemis took a giant breath. "Don't be upset."

"Oh no. What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything," he assured, staring at the fluffy creature as it yawned four, tiny fangs at him. "Just know I had nothing to do with this."

"Okay, but what is it?! You're scaring me!"

Artemis inhaled, then exhaled. Then repeated twice. "There is a cat on your couch."

"MEOWINGTON!"

"Meowington?" he repeated incredulously.

"That's Sir Meowington to you. Yeah! He's a Haven tunnel cat. He's my buddy! Awh! I'm glad he came back! He showed up around the time that you left for space."

"How did he get inside your apartment?" Artemis stammered, looking around for any openings.

"He lets himself in through the delivery tube!"

"You cannot be serious."

"I am! He just does what he wants."

Artemis risked a step closer to the cat. "…Does he sort of look like me? Why does he look like me?"

"I knooow! Isn't his tuxedo so cute? It's actually why I liked keeping him around. He reminds me of you."

"Fantastic," Artemis droned with sarcasm. "I've been replaced by a cat."

"Meh," Meowington agreed, sitting up from his loaf position to lick a paw.

Artemis raised a brow as he took a few steps closer. "Holly, I have no experience with cats, or most animals. I'll need some advice."

"He's a cat, not a rocket equation." He could see her rolling her eyes in his mind. "Just hang out with him. You have the Acorn for questions. Anyway, I'm still with Lili, so I gotta go. I'll be home soon, K, Arty?"

"Okay," he gulped, a bit wimpier than he liked.

"Text me, okay? Bye!"

The absence of Holly's voice left him feeling small in her apartment. He craned his head slowly towards the cat and gave it a look over. It seemed harmless enough, and he had to admit it was pretty charming with its black fur and white chest, a white chin, very long whiskers, complete with a strip of white down his nose.

Artemis took another step closer, the cat oblivious to him as it sucked dirt from its pink toebeans. "Hello, Meowington," he said aloud, feeling a tad ridiculous.

The cat glanced at him, blinking its brilliant blue eyes. "Maow," Meowington chimed.

"Oh! Hello," Artemis felt a small smile creep his cheeks. He advanced forward, reaching a hand out for the cat to sniff. "I didn't expect a response."

"Meh."

"Oh! You did it again."

Meowington noticed Artemis' pale flesh and stuck his nose out. He sniffed around a little, leaving a cold trail of moisture along Artemis' hand. "Mleeeehhh," he whined loudly, as if begging Artemis for something.

"Hm? Do you want food?" Artemis strode into Holly's kitchen and the cat trotted alongside him. "I haven't seen cat food." He opened her fridge, searching through its contents. "No meat," he sighed, glancing down at the kitty. "I take it you don't eat broccoli?"

"Prrrrp," he trilled in agreement and hopped onto the counter effortlessly, shoving his face into the fridge beside Artemis. "Maow."

"Well, now. That's impressive," he commented.

"Raaaoooow!" Meowington yowled, prompting Artemis to stand straight. Once he had the human where he wanted him, Meowington propped his front paws up on Artemis' shoulders, the whiskers on his brows almost furrowed at him. "Meh. Meeeh," he continued in a high-pitched whine, as if begging.

"I hate to admit this, but I am unfamiliar with feline behavior, and I don't speak cat," Artemis told the persistent kitty on his chest. In response, the tuxedo cat leapt onto him, carefully aligning itself along his shoulders. "Oh! Hello. What- what are you doing?" Artemis murmured, struggling to look at Meowington when the cat's cheek smeared against his, and then his other cheek, until Meowington was smashing his face all over Artemis'. "Okay… you're awfully endearing, aren't you?"

"Meh."

"Let's do some research and see what we can learn about you," Artemis concluded, carefully sauntering back to the couch with the cat draped over him. He grabbed the remote to her holo-tv and sat down, turning on the screen. He searched up Faetube on the projector keyboard, sifting through the dozens of videos on Felines 101. "We have a long night of research, Meowington. I hope you have your encyclopedia ready."

"Mlem."

Two hours later, Holly walked through the front door of her apartment, a small smile planted on her face as she thought back to her talk with Lili. Things felt good between them, like she had made a genuine friend over this whole fiasco. And it made sense their friendship would be uninhibited since enemies were always closer than friends. She felt a genuine chemistry with Lili, the kind of friendship where you can shave each other's legs while drunk because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Or the kind of friendship where you can have a fight then laugh about it.

Today was good. And tomorrow, she hoped, would be even better. "Artemis?" Holly called out, placing her purse on the table as her eyes scanned the dim apartment. "Meow meow?" Silence in the empty space - when Holly's sensitive ears picked up a rumbling noise from the couch. Holly tip-toed over to the back of the sofa, careful not to make a peep as she peered over.

Artemis was fast asleep, sprawled out on his back on the cushions. A light snore emitted from his lips, a trail of drool drizzling down his mouth onto his shirt. On top of his chest lay Meowington, the kitty's sweet face smooshed beneath Artemis' chin.

Holly let out a tiny gasp of affection, covering her mouth to soften her giggles. Oh gods. This is too cute. Oh gods! She quickly rummaged her pockets for her phone, sliding open the camera and snapping a few pictures of the snoozing pair.

Satisfied with her photos, she put the phone away and pressed her fingers gently to Artemis' forehead, softly ruffling his bangs and stroking his skin. "Artyyy," she sang lightly to him, leaning her elbows on the edge of the couch. "Wake up, Arty."

He shifted slightly in his sleep, finally closing his mouth and sniffling back his drool. His brows furrowed together and Holly covered her mouth again to stifle another giggle. She never thought Artemis Fowl the Second was ever capable of looking so pouty and adorable, but alas, here he was, an innocent sundae with a kitty on top.

She sighed. It would be too evil to wake them both now. She straightened and moved around the sofa, fondly smoothing Artemis' bangs back. "Goodnight, Arty," she whispered, leaning down and pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. "Sweet dreams."

Outer Caverns, Haven City

Worldwide Weather Park

Spring Amphitheater

Haven City's Weather Park was a notorious spot for family vacations, tourists, and adorkable first dates. Only a short, 30-minute shuttle ride away, Worldwide Weather Park (WWP for short) was settled in the canyons a little closer to the surface. Erosion had eaten away parts of the earth's crust, leaving gaping holes in parts of the canyons' ceiling that exposed the sky above. The WWP was a necessity for the fairies since it had been created in 1652. Since the Lower Elements didn't experience weather or seasons, and since fairies prefered a life heavily intertwined with nature, the WWP was the perfect place for anyone in the Lower Elements to experience any season they wanted, at any time.

It was the next day when Holly decided to bring Artemis along with her to the WWP. She picked the Spring Amphitheater because she'd insisted it'd go perfectly with the Irish spring sky above. And so, Holly held Artemis' hand as she led him through a wisteria tunnel, rows and rows of lilac-colored flowers draped above them like purple rain melting from the sky.

Although it couldn't compare to the surface, the fairies had done a wonderful job cultivating and farming the plants that grew here. Perhaps it was their natural green thumbs and magick. Artemis took in the blooms, taking a mental picture of the flora around him.

His eyes settled on Holly when she threw a sparkling grin at him from over her shoulder. It was beautiful, and she was most beautiful of all. He never wanted this moment to end. And then she turned back around and it was gone, forever a memory in time.

After a few hours of strolling through hydroponic and geophyte gardens, the pair stopped by the fresh farmer's market where local growers sold their organic tubers, roots and other veggies. After picking up lunch - an avocado toast and smoothie for Holly, and a Mediterranean panini and sim-espresso for Artemis - they hiked up a trail along the canyon wall that led into a massive, vegetive cavern below.

A giant willow tree sat at the center of the meadow as several fairies flew pastel kites high into the gaping hole in the ceiling, revealing the golden surface sky above them. Holly led Artemis to a cliff that rose a little higher into the cavern, putting them closer to the sky and kites.

"The combination of hydroponic, aquaponic, and aeroponic systems is spectacular," Artemis raved as he held one corner of a sunshine yellow picnic blanket.

"I'll take your word for it," Holly chuckled at her corner, placing the blanket down on the smooth cliffside.

They sat down on the soft knitted blanket and enjoyed their lunch, backs pressed against the rockface. The setting sun casted a gorgeous blend of pinks, lavenders, and oranges across the sky, golden streams of light breaking through into the cavern through tinier holes in the ceiling.

Holly eventually leaned sideways into Artemis, resting her head against his bicep comfortably. "It's funny how it's night on the surface but still daytime in Haven," she commented after a while, pushing her face into him snuggly.

Artemis tried to hide his blush, unsure if he should do the same or not. He decided against it, pressing his head against the rock instead.

"Yeah," he said mindlessly, one of the rare times he didn't want to think very much. The view was stellar, and Holly was warm on his side. He enjoyed this. This was nice, and nice was not something he was used to.

"I hope this wasn't too boring," Holly yawned, closing her eyes and leaning further into him. "I just really like plants."

"Today was anything but boring," Artemis revealed, his eyes falling to watch her fall into a light slumber. He couldn't help a fond smile as she fell asleep against him, tiny snores catching in her throat. "Thank you, Holly. You're a better friend than I could ever ask for."

Artemis closed his eyes, finding himself also taken by the idea of sleep. And though he'd originally not wanted to impede her nap, he slumped over in his slumber, his head falling against hers. And so, the friends fell asleep together as the golden streams fizzled out, replaced by the cool moonlight of the starry night above.