Chapter 6

Pepper was more than worried. How could this have happened? The Ten Rings had managed to catch Tony off guard so easily… He could have died. She and Happy could also have found him lying dead on the floor this morning. And then, of course, there was the fear of Raza coming back. This certainly wasn't the last attack. Pepper remembered the video she had found in the Stark Industries' server a few months ago. The ransom video of Tony's captivity that had revealed to her what Obadiah had done. Something so horrible could never happen again.

Pepper smoothed out a wrinkle on her skirt. The shock still sat firmly in her limbs. However, she was sure Tony would come up with something. He hadn't been given three doctorates as a gift. Tony Stark was brilliant; surely, he was already planning on how to get himself out of this predicament.

A little more unsteady than usual on her high heels, she made her way to the living room. It was already late in the evening and a few lamps gave dimmed light. Happy was sitting in a corner typing on his smartphone. Agents rushed by every second. S.H.I.E.L.D. scanned the entire house for bugs, listening devices or any other lack of security. This was a little more than "You won't even notice us," she could tell from Tony's face. He looked pretty pissed off.

Tony was sitting at his bar, waving his glass around incessantly with his right hand, the other arm hanging in a sling Romanoff had put on him. The swelling on his face had gone down somewhat due to continuous cooling, but the bruises still shone just as blue and purple. Staring at a spot on the floor with a bad-tempered expression, he didn't even seem to notice Pepper sitting down next to him.

"Tony?" she asked cautiously after a while.

"Pepper," Tony said without looking up and in a voice that made clear this wasn't his first drink. Again.

"Listen," Pepper began uncertainly. "It's better for these agents to be around, isn't it? They'll scan through the house, they'll give you extra protection..."

"It's my house."

"And it will be your house after this."

Tony only replied with a sip of whiskey – still without taking his eyes off the floor.

"Are you in pain?," Pepper asked, trying to keep the conversation going somehow.

"A little. I'm okay."

Tony spoke with slight difficulty in articulation. Unobtrusively, Pepper scanned the bar with her eyes. The whiskey bottle in question was nearly emptied. Even by his standards, he had to be pretty drunk.

"Mr. Stark?" Jarvis' voice suddenly sounded through the room. "My scan is now complete."

A jolt went through Tony, and he suddenly sat up much straighter.

"Have you come to any conclusions?"

"Yes, Sir, apparently I was simply shut down. From a cell phone belonging to someone at Stark Industries."

"But none of our employees' cell phones could do that. How -"

"The cell phone's identification number matches Obadiah Stane, Sir. I was shut down by his phone."

A shudder ran through Pepper and Tony's entire posture tensed.

"What?!," Happy called.

"Jarvis," Tony said in a shaky voice. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"One hundred percent, Sir."

"Then take care of this, Jarvis."

"Of course."

Pepper saw Obadiah figuratively in front of her. For a moment, she was frightened by the thought that Obadiah was squatting in a hideout somewhere, plotting revenge on Tony. But then she composed herself. Obadiah was dead.

"So the Ten Rings must have his cell phone, right?," Pepper asked, confused for a moment. "I mean, Obadiah, he's..."

"Dead," Tony said bitterly. "Yeah. I made sure he is, after all."

Tony reached for the whiskey bottle and poured himself another glass. As he did so, he was shaking so badly that he spilled some of it. Tony cursed loudly and Pepper winced.

"Tony," she said, worried by his emotionality. "You're forgetting, though, that it was me who blew up the reactor."

Tony paused and looked her straight in the eye for the first time. It almost seemed as if he only now realized it was Pepper sitting next to him.

"You're right," he then said, and Pepper thought she noticed the hint of a smile for a second. "You overloaded the reactor, and saved me. You had no choice – we had no choice."

Pepper was silent; this was a chapter of her life she would like to forget. Obadiah and her had known each other for so many years, they had always worked well together, and had gotten along quite good in private. Obadiah had been an integral part of Tony's life, and by extension, her life. With mixed feelings Pepper watched Tony finishing his glass, then lowering his eyes back to the floor.

"Obadiah was like an uncle to me," Tony said softly. "He always had kept an eye on me after my parents had died."

Pepper held her breath. She had never heard Tony talk about it; the subject of parents was basically nonexistent in this house. And talking about feelings wasn't really Tony's style either.

"I...," Tony began, swallowing. "The police had called me to tell me that my parents had been killed in a car accident. I was twenty-one by that time. It was in the middle of the night, and I was home alone and then... Obadiah called me just minutes after that. I didn't answer, so he left me a message on my phone every five minutes. He knew I was there and kept telling me not to leave and not to do anything stupid, he would be there soon, and everything was going to be fine. Obi was on a plane on his way home when... when he had heard about it."

Tony swallowed again and cleared his throat quietly.

"Obi had a one-hour to drive from the airport to me, and he was calling every five minutes."

Tony closed his eyes and breathed heavily.

"The whole time I was sitting on the floor next to the phone, in total shock, but I heard every single message from him. I couldn't answer the phone, I just couldn't talk. But Obadiah kept calling, and his messages helped me... When he was finally here, he told me that I was not alone, ever, and that he would take care of everything. He then hugged me... something my dad never did."

Tony didn't bother to use a glass now, instead he drank straight from the bottle.

"Sometimes I felt like he looked at me as his own child. He's been by my side all these years, taking care of the company, watching my back, bailing me out from time to time; he's always been there, ready with advice and support any time I needed it. All I had to do was call him..."

Pepper was still surprised about Tony telling her so openly about his feelings. Nervously she looked at the now almost completely emptied bottle. Maybe it was the alcohol that loosened his tongue so much. However, Tony's drunkenness usually was not that much noticeable. He had given lectures at scientific congresses, completely wasted, and they had still been better than the rest of the lectures put together. Tony usually functioned quite well even with alcohol. So where had his sudden emotional declaration to her come from? Tony now looked Pepper in the face again.

"So please explain…" he said, and it was just little more than a whisper. "…why he tried to kill me. He of all people… After all the time he had sacrificed for me, after all the time where we had been such a good team... I just don't understand why he did it. I mean, he paid terrorists to kill me! And why? So he could take over Stark Industries? Or was it that he was so disgusted by me? By my character and behavior? Did he hate me so much that he wanted me dead? I don't get it... And do you know what the worst part is? That I hadn't even noticed his growing hatred all these years."

Tony ran his hands through his hair, looking very upset. Pepper felt a little close to tears, moved by Tony's story, but she tried hard not to cry.

"I don't think he hated you," she said, realizing her voice was shaking. "I don't know what made Obadiah do something like that. He lost his mind, clearly. He was greedy, he was jealous, maybe he wanted to step out of your shadow, maybe he didn't feel valued or appreciated. He had put so much into Stark Industries, but that's just what it has always remained. Stark Industries, not Stane Industries. You got the awards and publicity. Maybe it was that, maybe not. But it certainly doesn't justify the madness that grew inside of him and what he tried to do."

"He must have loathed me," Tony replied. "I think he did. In the end, at least. Maybe for the reasons you gave."

Pepper was silent. She didn't know what had been going on in Obadiah's mind. Convincing Tony of anything else, therefore, made little sense. Maybe it really had been hate, maybe something entirely else. They won't be able to ask him, it would remain a secret.

"I miss him...", Tony then nearly whispered, looking like he was about to cry.

"Tony...", Pepper sighed upset.

"When I was…" Tony continued even more bitterly. "When I was trapped in that cave, Yinsen asked me if I had family and when I told him no he said, so you are a man who has everything and yet nothing... and I started thinking about who would be waiting for me at home, worry about me. And it was hard to realize. All of this showed me that the only one who ever really cared about me... was me. And that I'm responsible for that myself."

For a moment, all atmosphere seemed to be sucked out of the room, it was so quiet. Pepper wanted to disagree, she wanted to tell him how much she had feared him being dead during those three months, how many tears she had cried in fear and pain, how much she had dreaded his death notice and how much she had missed him. But she understood what Tony actually meant. He didn't have a family, a wife or children. There was no warm, caring, loving place to return to. Just a lonely mansion. And neither she, nor Rhodey, Happy or Jarvis could take that feeling away from him.

"Tony," Pepper said softly. "I know that's hardly comforting. But there are people who care about you. You are not alone."

Tony met her gaze and suddenly grinned at her.

"You mean, for example, a personal assistant who was waiting for me at the airport, when I arrived back in America, red-eyed due to all the crying?"

Pepper felt herself blush and looked away.

"For example," she mumbled meekly.

"Pepper…," Tony said, sounding surprised. "I didn't want - I didn't mean to embarrass you. I wasn't being serious when I said -"

"Tony, just tell me everything's going to be okay," Pepper interrupted him. She was tired and afraid of what might be coming because of the terrorists. And because of what he had just told her. Because of the pain he was feeling - and had probably been feeling for a very long time. Maybe his whole life. To her it sounded like Tony had never experienced what it felt like to be loved by someone. And what a terrible feeling must that be...

"Of course it's going to be okay," Tony said, smiling a somewhat forced smile. "We'll find out where the Ten Rings are, and then we'll smash that ring once and for all. I'll take care of that."

"Ok. Thank you," Pepper replied, even if it hadn't been quite what she had actually meant.

"What would I do without you?," Tony asked, now a little flippant and lapsing into his usual talking mode.

"You'd have to learn your Social Security number," Pepper said, getting on board. "And how to tie your own shoes."

Tony gave a short laugh, then looked intently at Pepper.

"I'm afraid you're right. I... Pepper, I, um... thank you."

"That means so much to me," Pepper said jokingly. "I know how hard it is for you to say thank you."

"Better not get used to it."

"Would never occur to me."

For a moment, they both seemed lighthearted, but Pepper wasn't fooling herself.

"Tony, if there's anything…," she said, therefore, hesitating. She didn't know what words to choose without putting Tony back into his usual defensive attitude. "I've just noticed that you've been spending a lot of time alone lately, and you seem a bit –"

"I'm fine, Pepper, don't worry," Tony said quickly. "Really."

And there it was, his defensiveness. Well, those weren't the right words then. Maybe she should start counting how many times he said he was fine, when it was so obviously not true.

Pepper bit her lip and slowly reached out to Tony. She wanted to touch and comfort him.

"We're done with the house for the day", Romanoff's voice rang out, suddenly standing in the doorway. Pepper flinched away from Tony.

"Oh, am I interrupting?," Romanoff added with a grin. "Looks like a very happy gathering."

Both Pepper and Tony glared angrily at her. Pepper was annoyed at the inopportune interruption - couldn't Romanoff have waited a moment longer? - while Tony pretty sure was pissed off by her mere presence.

Then it occurred to Pepper that Happy was also still in the room with them; he had put away his smartphone long ago and now looked as if he had walked into a situation, he would rather not have been in. Pepper felt herself flush.

"So, scanning the house is done," Romanoff now said in a serious tone. "Tomorrow we'll scan through the rest of the property. From tonight on our agents will stand guard outside the gates. Has Jarvis completed his investigation yet?"

"It was Obadiah Stane's phone," Tony said. "They used it to shut Jarvis down. He was the only one besides me who had such extensive access rights to confidential files and programs. He would have been able to put Jarvis on standby."

"Obadiah Stane's phone," Romanoff commented thoughtfully. "Interesting. I'll pass the information on to Agent Coulson. And you, in the meantime, make sure that -"

"Already done. I've let Jarvis revoke all of Stane's privileges. The phone is worthless."

"Very good."

Romanoff's gaze wandered to the whiskey bottle beside Tony and then back to Tony himself. She said nothing, but it was clear to Pepper that she had already noticed his condition even without the telltale bottle.

"I'll retire for the day then."

"That's so tremendously sad," Tony said, putting all the sarcasm he could mobilize into those words.

"I feel the same way," Romanoff returned dryly, then disappeared.

One by one, agents followed her out of the house.

Pepper looked at Tony, who was now hiding behind a perfect poker face. She watched with an uneasy feeling Tony finishing his whiskey and then heading toward the bedroom with the excuse of being tired.

Pepper turned to Happy, but he returned her look with a "none of my business" expression. So she decided to call it a day and go home.