Chapter 31

Tony awoke from a dreamless sleep. The sun was shining directly in his face, with warm rays of a summer morning. Groaning, Tony straightened up and ran a hand through his hair. He was feeling significantly better. The vomiting had stopped, so he was finally able to keep all the fluids down and therefore didn't feel so weak anymore. Tony's hands were still shaking a bit when he reached for a water bottle next to his bed.

Now it's been seven days since he had had his last drop of alcohol. He couldn't say it was easy, but he also couldn't say he felt a great need to drink anything right now. It was mostly relief that the terrible symptoms diminished more and more. And it felt strange after such a long time of being constantly drunk to be sober and clearheaded.

Tony got up and went to the bathroom. After a quick shower, he slipped into a light blue business shirt and black trousers. It felt good to dress decently again. Some normalcy. Tony trimmed his beard and gelled his hair, then headed downstairs to the kitchen. Freshly brewed coffee smell wafted toward him as he entered the room. Pepper and Rhodey were sitting together eating breakfast. Natasha had left yesterday. She had had to go back to New Mexico. It was okay; they had promised to keep in touch. Tony sensed they had grown closer.

"Morning," Tony mumbled, still a little sleepy, and sat down with the two of them smiling softly at him. There instantly was a warm and comfortable feeling again. He felt safe with them.

"Coffee?" Rhodey asked politely.

"Yes. Thanks."

Rhodey stood up and poured Tony a cup of black coffee. Then he placed the steaming drink in front of him and returned to his toast. Tony looked down into the dark brown liquid and tried not to think about the fact that just a few days ago he had drunk his coffee only with a generous shot of hard liquor. Did he even know what pure coffee tasted like?

"Tony? Are you okay?" Pepper, who apparently had been watching him, asked.

"I think so," Tony replied uncertainly.

"How's your body?"

"Much better. My hands are still shaking a little and I feel weak. But I can walk again without puffing like a grampus."

"Sounds like a lot of improvement. Did you take another valium?"

"No."

"Good. That's really good. I am very relieved you feel better."

Tony looked at Pepper's somehow worried and happy expression and hesitated. He could have given a thousand reasons now why nothing was good. However, withdrawal was mostly over and maybe it took just a few more days to feel like a human being again.

"You're right, it is… good."

Pepper smiled encouragingly at him. Tony lowered his eyes to his coffee again.

"Do you want something to eat?" Rhodey asked. "There are still scrambled eggs, toast and ham."

"Later."

Tony drank his coffee silently as he listened to Pepper's and Rhodey's conversation. He didn't have the energy to participate. The effort to speak up, to even think about anything was too much. At least the coffee tasted good - even without a shot.

"So… Vacation's over for me. I've got to get back to work today," Rhodey said, putting his plate in the dishwasher. "I would go to my place tonight then… If that's okay with you, Tony?"

"Oh," Tony said, surprised at how much he had grown used to Rhodey's company. "Yeah, of course."

"Will you see me out?"

Tony nodded and followed Rhodey out to his car.

"Is it really okay?" Rhodey asked quietly. "I can come back after work. It's no problem. I could stay longer."

"You don't need to, I'm fine. I need to learn how to deal with all this on my own."

"No, you don't. On the contrary - you need to learn how to ask for help and support. You're not supposed to do this on your own."

"Yes. Right. Sorry. I'm still... a bit confused."

"Totally understandable," Rhodey said, still very quietly. "Tony... we talked about this yesterday, but I'll say it again. You have made it through this withdrawal. But now comes the next hard part. Staying sober. That will be very hard. You have to take care of yourself, watch yourself, think of yourself. The temptation to drink again will come. Over and over again. You need to find a way to deal with that. Eat properly as soon as you can, exercise, keep yourself busy, try to sleep more, talk to Pepper or me about how you feel. If you feel you're about to lose control, ask one of us to take control.

Tony realized he hadn't thought about what would happen next. It almost scared him to hear Rhodey say those things. He also realized how surprised he was that everyone was leaving. He had realized that Natasha would leave sooner or later. But he hadn't thought about Rhodey and Pepper until now.

"Tony, alcohol cravings are going to be a thing. Keep that in mind," Rhodey said, putting a hand on Tony's shoulder. "That said - I'm proud you made it through this, and I'm very happy for you. And for me - I thought I'd lost you."

Tony wrinkled his nose slightly, mumbled something like 'yeah, well' and tried to put on a cool face. Now that he wasn't drunk anymore, there were so many emotions - everywhere and all the time.

"If anything comes up, just let me know. I mean it. Call me anytime."

"Will do."

Rhodey gave Tony a quick hug, then got into the car. With a final wave, he turned the car around and drove off. Tony stood outside in the sun for a moment. He didn't know what he was feeling. Then he went back inside and sat down with Pepper, who had started to read the paper.

"Would you like something to eat now?" she asked without looking up, and it was clear that she was trying to be casual.

Tony hesitated. He didn't really want to eat, but he knew he had to. So he said yes and took some of the scrambled eggs. He was in a strange mood, impossible to describe. He kept looking nervously at Pepper, who was sitting so calmly in front of her newspaper, drinking another cup of coffee. Pepper turned the page and then, still casually and without looking at him, took his hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Tony sat back and tried to let go of the tension inside him. There was nothing to do now, everything was fine.

"Thank you," Tony whispered, almost ashamed.

Pepper nodded and smiled. And then they just sat there in silence for a while, holding hands. Eventually Tony got so tired he couldn't keep his eyes open. So he went out onto the balcony and sank into a sun lounger. He watched some clouds pass by slowly before he dozed off.

The sun was already setting when Tony woke up again. The horizon was a rich shade of red and seemed to be glowing. Tony felt a little more rested and clear-headed. However - what now?

He was just sitting up in the lounger when he noticed Pepper standing in the balcony door.

"Well, sleepyhead?" she said with a smile.

"You're still here," Tony noted, slowly getting up.

"Of course."

Tony looked at Pepper. He looked into her beautiful eyes, at the cute freckles on her face. Her hair was pulled back in a less tight braid today. She looked perfect - and smiled at him with such sincerity that it warmed his heart. Pepper was the only woman who could keep up with him, who could follow his fast pace, who could argue with him without being outdone, who could give him her opinion openly and honestly without being awestruck like most people. She had always been able to do that, from the beginning. She had put up with him for years, organized his life, outlived woman after woman in his chaotic love life. And now she had seen him at his worst. She had looked after him, organized help, endured his catastrophic condition. As she had always done, in different ways, for so many years. And she had stayed. Until today.

"What?" Pepper asked, suddenly a little concerned by his expression.

"You're still here," Tony repeated, "why?"

"You're not seriously asking why I don't leave you alone right now? Don't be ridiculous."

"I am asking."

"Because the physical withdrawal is just the beginning. You can't stay alone now."

"But why are you doing this?"

"I don't understand what you mean."

"Why you, Pepper?" Tony asked gently. "I pushed you away, I hurt you, I made you cry, I let you down. Why did you come back when you had already turned your back on me? Why did you go through all that shit with me? Why do you stay with me?"

Pepper stared at him with her mouth slightly agape. Her eyes got a little moist and she blinked a few times.

"Can't you guess?" she whispered.

Tony's heart started to beat faster. He walked slowly towards Pepper and then hesitantly stopped in front of her. The red of the sunset reflected in her eyes, making her cheeks look a little reddish. As if she had a slight sunburn.

"Pepper," he said softly, feeling the charged atmosphere not for the first time. He lowered his eyes to the floor as he felt his heart beat even faster. "Pepper, I... uh..."

"Tony?"

"Huh?"

Pepper put her hand under his chin, gently forcing him to lift his head and look at her again.

"I know," she then said.

And with that, Pepper leaned over and closed her eyes. Moments later, he felt her lips on his. It felt so good. At that moment Tony wondered why he had ever needed alcohol if this was so much better. The high that came from the moment Pepper kissed him was so much better and more intense than any alcohol high.

Tony opened his eyes to see Pepper laugh briefly and then bite her lips mischievously as two tears left her moist eyes. Tony didn't know if they were tears of joy or tears of emotion. But he suddenly knew so clearly how he felt about this wonderful woman - and that she felt the same about him.

Tony grinned at Pepper and kissed her again. This kiss was so much more than just a kiss between two people who liked each other. It was an admission that they both wanted the same thing. It was the final surrender of restraint, despite years of attraction. A release of the tension between them that they had built up over so many years without ever really acting on it. This kiss was more than either of them had ever hoped for. And it was perfect.

"I love you, Pepper Potts," Tony said, finding it no longer difficult to say.

"I love you, Tony Stark," Pepper replied laughing and wrapped her arms around him.

Pepper felt her cheeks start to glow. Almost stunned, she stood in front of Tony. She could hardly believe it. This was a dream. It had to be a dream. Tony Stark was out of reach. Had been out of reach, she wondered cautiously.

He pulled her into a long and intimate embrace, and she enjoyed every second of it. His warmth, his scent, his rapid heartbeat. To be held in this man's arms was the greatest gift she had received in a long time. It seemed like salvation after a long, long road of abstinence.

Pepper had given him up. And in fact, it had always been just a dream, maybe less than that, a fantasy. She had always been drawn to him and had probably been closer to him than anyone else. And yet even that had never been particularly close. Tony was an unattainable person, surrounded by the walls he had built up over decades. So could it be true that she, Pepper, had broken through all those walls? Could it really be that Tony had opened up to her? That he loved her?

For once, Pepper didn't want to think this through rationally. This moment was too intense and too beautiful. Pepper took Tony's hand and gently pulled him into the bedroom. She wanted Tony. She wanted everything about him.

Pepper had only a few seconds of uncertainty before she simply followed her impulse and unbuttoned his shirt. She allowed herself a moment to gently caress the skin around the glowing reactor. Then she pulled his shirt all the way down and tossed it to the floor. Tony didn't need to be asked twice. He reached around Pepper to her back and pulled down the zip of her dress, which immediately slid down along her body to the floor. Pepper saw the way he looked at her body and she could almost physically feel his desire.

Tony had never experienced anything like this before. He had slept with so many women in so many different ways. But never like this. Never with someone he loved. And that was what made it so special. That was what made it feel so different. Right now they were one. It was a strong feeling of togetherness, so much more than sex. Tony could not find the words to describe this unique feeling. He let himself go completely. And she let herself go completely.

He felt this was how he could express his feelings for Pepper. Finally, there was a way to show each other how much they loved each other. Finally, he was connected to someone.

Tony Stark, never alone... and perhaps indeed not alone anymore? The loose ends of their bond had finally come together. And it wasn't weird, it wasn't awkward, it was exactly as it should be. Intimate. For the first time in his life, he was sure that he could love - and be loved.

When they were finished, they rolled onto their sides and smiled at each other. Both stunned by the intensity. Tony held Pepper in his arms for a long time until they both fell into the deepest and most peaceful sleep they had had in a long time.

So, there is finally some happiness. Thanks to those who have persevered, haha.
But this is not meant to be a happy ending, which would be very unrealistic. It's not an ending at all. Tony will still have to deal with some problems and there will be some action in later chapters.
As always, I hope you enjoy!