[5x02; True Lies]

[Warning: There's some talk of very explicit things, so be cautious of that. There's also a little bit of non-con in there. It's not a lot, but I wanted to warn you in case it was triggering. Please read with discretion. Xx.]

Lucy snuggled her head into Stefan's chest, breathing in his beautiful and unique scent. Her lips quirked up into a smile as she lifted her hand and ran it over his t-shirt clad chest, giggling when he shivered against her. She was glad to see that dimpled smile, the one that she loved so much, on this face. It had been too long.

"Stop that," he took a hold of her hand, intertwining their fingers. "you're distracting me."

"Distracting you from what?" Lucy teased, shifting so that she was halfway on his chest. Her eyes scored the area around them; they were at Steven's Quarry, both of them laid out on a plaid blanket only a few feet away from the water. "From the chirping birds or the grass tickling your back?"

"From you," Stefan looked up at her, his gorgeous green eyes sparkling.

"I'm distracting you from me?" Lucy snickered. "Isn't that kind of meta, or something?"

"Shh…" he moved their hands to her mouth to stop her from talking.

"Stefan," she whined, pursing her lips until she felt them connect with his finger. "We could be doing anything right now and you want to be here?"

"Mmhm."

"Why? Why here, why this?"

"These are the good moments," Stefan answered softly, poking the dimple in her right cheek. "the simple ones, the ones that matter. These are the moments that keep me from falling apart."

Lucy smiled softly and leaned down, humming at the relief that came with kissing her fiancé. "This can't last forever," she said as she came up for air. "You're just distracting yourself."

Suddenly, she started coughing. Something was crawling its way back up her throat, choking her. Water started spewing for her mouth and the more she coughed, the more that came up.

"Stefan?" she managed to warble in between coughs. "What's happening? Stefan?"

"Stefan!"

When Lucy opened her eyes, she wasn't at Steven's Quarry with Stefan, mysteriously choking on water. She was in her dorm room, the sun was shining through the windows, and Caroline and Elena were hovering over her bed, both of them wearing worried looks.

"No," she breathed, placing her hand over her face; she didn't care if she was choking, she just wanted to be by Stefan's side. "Oh, my God."

Caroline took her hand and threw it off of her face, frowning. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Lucy grumbled, sitting up and rolling off the bed on the other side from where Caroline and Elena stood. Apparently, dreams about Stefan made her more upset than her memories as Lucilla; good to know. "Just had a dream."

"About Stefan," Caroline observed, crossing her arms over her chest. "and it didn't sound like a sexy dream."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Elena asked worriedly.

Lucy appreciated the concern from her sister, but it was kind of stifling and too little, too late.

"I'm fine," she repeated herself as she went to her dresser and pulled out some clothes. "What time is it?"

"Ten-ish," Elena answered, causing Lucy to blink in shock. She usually didn't sleep that late. "I just got back. Megan's memorial outside is growing by the minute."

"Ugh," Caroline scoffed and turned away, going back to going through one of Megan's boxes that she had on her bed. "College kids are so dramatic. She was on campus for, like, one day. She couldn't have made that many friends."

"Caroline, she's dead," Elena said pointedly. "You can stop competing with her."

"Sorry, I'm in a mood."

Lucy frowned and threw her selected clothes on her bed. "Did you talk to Tyler?"

"He's deferring from enrolling and deferring from returning my phone calls," Caroline reported matter-of-factly. "So, I'm deferring from having sex with him ever again."

Elena laughed lightly and peeked into the box. "How's the snooping going? Any explanation as to why our vervain-laced vampire-slaughtered roommate had a picture of my dad on her phone?"

"No."

"Are you repacking her stuff?" Lucy wondered, heading around her bed to join them. "Shouldn't her parents do that?"

Caroline shrugged. "According to the RA, they asked us to do it."

Elena wrinkled her nose. "Oh," she remembered, picking up the folder she brought back with her and handing it to Caroline. "I went by the hospital and got Megan's death certificate. It says she died of suicide. No mention of the gaping vampire bites on her neck."

Lucy sighed, pressing her lips together. "So, whoever signed off on the cause of death was part of the cover-up, just like the Founders Council back home."

Caroline read the signature on the certificate. "Dr. Wesley Maxfield."

"Aka, our applied microbiology professor," Elena grinned proudly. "I switched our classes around so we can—"

"Applied what?" Caroline cut her off. "Elena, I'm supposed to be taking Intro to Communication. What happened to getting drunk and making bad decisions about boys? What happened to our fun freshman year at college? I'm supposed to be a drama major!"

"You're not going to be an anything major if we get exposed as vampires!" Elena pointed out.

"Well, applied microbiology sounds better than my interdisciplinary class," Lucy smiled. "What time is it?"

"Oh, uh, I couldn't get your class switched, Luce," Elena said apologetically. "Apparently that's a required course for undecided freshmen."

Lucy groaned loudly. "Yeah, this is definitely not gonna be a fun year."

"We're still gonna have our fun year," Elena disagreed, giving Lucy and Caroline pointed looks. "but we have to protect ourselves and figure out our majors."

"So, you guys are gonna pull a Damon Salvatore and infiltrate whatever secret society is going on here?" Lucy scoffed. "How come I have to go to class?"

"Because you didn't pick out a major," Elena told her before turning to Caroline. "Bust out those alleged acting skills, okay? We have a part to play."

Lucy pursed her lips and turned, grabbing her clothes from her bed and storming to the bathroom. She never got to have any fun…

"How was your first big girl college class?"

Lucy scoffed at Kol through the phone as she walked through campus after her interdisciplinary class. "The teacher was boring and I still have no idea what I wanna do."

"It's been one class, Ana," Kol chuckled. "Have a little patience."

"You're telling me to have patience?" Lucy asked incredulously. "Kol Mikaelson? What has the world come to?"

"Shut up," Kol groaned. "You make me sound so responsible. I hate it."

"Good, me too," she laughed. "Leave the scolding to Elijah."

"I would, but Elijah is nowhere to be found," Kol informed her. "He's not at the plantation."

The smile immediately left Lucy's face, all amusement gone. "Well, where is he?" she asked. "When I left, he was attached to Hayley's side and making promises to protect Emma."

"Hayley and Emma say that he left when you did," he reported. "Which means one thing."

"Yeah, Nik daggered him. Do you or Bekah have a lead?"

"Nope. So, we figured you could use your nifty little talent…"

"Yeah, I'll do a location spell when I get back to the dorm," Lucy confirmed. She pulled her phone away from her ear when it started beeping and say that it was a call from Damon. "Hey, I have to go. I'll call you back with that location."

"Thanks, Ana. Be safe."

"You too, bye," she hung up and answered Damon's call. "What's up?"

"It's good to hear your voice, Twitch," Damon's voice did not sound as cheery as his words indicated. "How's college going?"

"It's boring. Now, if that's all you wanted to talk—"

"Wait, don't hang up," Damon said hurriedly. "Uh, I tried calling Elena, but she didn't answer."

"I'm pretty sure she's in English class," Lucy checked the time on her phone and then pressed it back to her ear. "She'll be out soon, though."

"Right, right…"

Lucy pressed her lips together impatiently. "Is that all you wanted?"

"Actually, no…" Damon hesitated. "I have to tell you something, Lucy."

"Hold on," she could hardly get the words out of her mouth, she was so shocked at what—or who—she was seeing. "I gotta go. Stefan's here."

"What? No, Stefan's—"

Lucy hung up and shoved the phone in her bag, her eyes still placed on her fiancé. He stood in front of her like no time had passed. His hair was a little longer but other than that, nothing about him had changed. He was there. Right in front of her. Smiling that little smile of his.

"Stefan," she breathed as she reached out to him, pressing her hand against his chest; he was real. "Oh, my God, I thought you were hurt. Oh, my God, you're here."

"I'm here," he confirmed with a nod. "I missed you."

"I missed you," her hand was still on his chest and her other hand had joined it, trailing absentmindedly up his collarbone and his neck until it wrapped around the back of his neck; he seemed to enjoy the attention, wrapping an arm around her waist. "I could have sworn you were in trouble."

"I'm fine."

"You turned off your phone. A-And I couldn't send you letters," she stammered, shaking her head. "You didn't call."

"I know," he tapped his fingers on the small of her back, smiling softly as tears started to wet her eyes. "I'm sorry. I just got back. I wanted to apologize in person."

Lucy shook her head; they had time for that. "You can apologize later. Right now, I want you to kiss me."

Stefan smiled and cupped her cheek, bending down to press his lips smash his lips against hers. Lucy sighed into the kiss, unable to care that they were in the middle of a college campus where people might have been watching them. She missed Stefan so, so much. Probably too much, to be considered healthy.

She pulled away from the kiss right away, staring up at him with narrowed eyes. Something wasn't right. When she kissed Stefan just then, it didn't feel like their usual kisses. Their usual kisses made shivers run down her spine and sparks ignite in her veins throughout her whole body. There were sparks now, yeah, but not as big, not as intense as with Stefan.

Stefan—no, he was not Stefan—sighed and brushed his thumbs over her cheeks; it felt familiar but again, not Stefan. "Lucilla, I could never fool you."

Lucy's eyes widened as she ripped herself away from him. "You're Silas. Oh, my God, I kissed you!"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, it's not the first time," Silas shrugged casually. "We've done more than that, too."

"Oh, my God, shut up," she winced, her mind racing. "How are you—why are you—where's Stefan? God, how are you even—how are you even alive right now—Bonnie put you—where is Stefan?!"

"Stefan is in an undisclosed spot, where he's been since the night he was supposed to dump me in the quarry," Silas told her. "I guess you should have gone with your instincts about him. It's okay, though. Our bond is obviously stronger."

"Our bond?"

"You've been having memories, haven't you?"

Lucy scoffed and pushed him away from her, so shocked up until that point that she had forgotten that he was still touching her. "How are you even appearing as Stefan right now?" she looked around at the people hanging out, noticing nothing strange about the man Lucy was talking to. "How are you messing with all of our minds?"

"After a summer of consuming blood, I'm stronger than I've ever been," Silas grinned at her. "but I'm not appearing as anyone. This is my true self. Stefan Salvatore just happens to have my face. A shadow-self. I think you're familiar with those."

Lucy blinked at him in shock. "Stefan's a doppelganger?"

"Yeah."

"You're lying to me."

"I'm not."

Lucy shook her head; she could process the fact that Stefan was a doppelganger later. Right now, she needed to find him. "Silas, tell me where Stefan is, or I'll—"

"Or you'll what? Use your magic in front of everyone?" he looked around and then back down to her, giving her a mocking smile. "And if you do, what exact spell would you use? I don't have magic right now, but I'm strong, stronger than you, and I can't die."

Lucy faltered and took a step away from him; he didn't let her get very far, stepping right back up to her.

"So, Lucilla, what are you gonna do to me?" he smirked at her; she didn't answer. "I know, you can't do anything. I can hear you searching for some way to stop me but you can't. And I don't think you want to, either."

She gave him an indignant look but he ignored it and continued on, "Now, I know you can still siphon magic and since my mind control abilities are considered magic—" he rolled his eyes, annoyed. "—because, of course, it would be the only magic I could do—I can't have you do much."

"It won't work at all."

"Actually, it will," Silas disagreed. "because it works like compulsion, right? And you're not wearing vervain because it would hurt your precious little self. And it takes a little while for you to subconsciously siphon magic when you're not spooked—"

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know everything about you," Silas cupped her cheek again; she didn't dare move, her heart racing in her chest. "Because you're mine, Lucilla. Now, you're going to kiss me."

Lucy beamed at him and stood on her tiptoes, smashing their lips together in a searing kiss. She got as far as swiping his bottom lip with her tongue when Silas' mind control was fully siphoned. She pulled away with a gasp but Silas held her firm.

"And you're not going to siphon my mind control away," he told her, looking deep into her eyes. "Do you like that? It's a little trick I learned from my ex-fiance way back when. Gives me a little more time until I have to use my special tricks on you."

Lucy just smiled at him but inside, she was screaming at him.

"Now," Silas smiled and let go of her face in order to check his phone. "do you know where Jeremy might go on Route 9?"

"There's an old camp site around there," she answered him. "we used to go when we were kids."

Silas grinned and kissed the expectant smile on her face. "Good girl, Lucilla."

"You know, I ran into your sister before I found you," Silas said idly as he and Lucy walked through the woods just off of Route 9. "She seemed happy to see Stefan. She's kind of fickle, that one. That's what those Petrova doppelgangers do, though. They like the attention."

Lucy just stared at the hand he held, wishing that she could siphon away the mind control. It'd only been five minutes since he last told her not to, so she had about ten minutes to go before he'd have to do it again.

Silas clicked his tongue at her. "Honestly, Lu, I'm really trying to hold a conversation here," he sighed. "Come on, talk to me. Tell me anything."

"I don't know what to do with my life."

"Okay, we're starting with the heavy stuff," Silas nodded. "Let's see; I know from Stefan that you like history. From Caroline, I learned that you like planning events and that you have a real attention to detail and organization. From Damon I learned that you have a little controlling streak. That really surprised me, by the way. When we were together, you were sweet and submissive. You had none of the sass you have today."

"I was?"

"Mmhm," Silas hummed, glancing back at her. "It might have been the time, but honestly, I think it's because you craved control. You weren't in the best of positions back then. Atlas Bennett ran you wild, you poor thing, and when we were able to sneak away together, you didn't know what to do with yourself."

"You took advantage of me," Lucy was able to say, his control over her slipping just a little.

Silas laughed and stopped walking, turning to her. "I didn't take advantage of you, Lucilla. I loved you and I still do today," he cupped her face again. "Tell me the truth, though. You like when I take control of you don't you?"

"No, I don't," Lucy replied honestly, just like he asked her to.

"Well, not right now, obviously," Silas nodded his understanding as his hands left her head. His left hand trailed from her collarbone—he made sure to run his fingers over the ticklish spot at the bottom of her neck, making her shiver—and to the top of her V-neck while the other gripped her waist. "but when we're in a different setting. A little less trees, a little more comfort, a bed…"

Lucy shook her head, squirming as his right hand traveled from her waist to her ass, gripping it tightly. She would never admit anything of the sort to Silas. To Stefan, yes, but he already knew what they did in the bedroom.

"You do like it," Silas insisted knowingly. "I can read your mind. I've seen you with my shadow-self and I've had you the same way. You like when I take control of you, your body, your pleasure…"

"Silas, please stop," Lucy's voice trembled, her mind whirling. It was too much—this was all too much. She was torn in half, her mind in the middle of a war with Silas' mind control doing its work, her memories overwhelming her, and her love for Stefan fighting against both of them. "Please."

She didn't think he was going to stop but he surprised her. Silas' knowing, lustful grin slipped from his face, his features softening drastically. His hand left her ass and went back to her head, softly stroking some of the hairs that had fallen from her ponytail away from her face.

"It's all too much, isn't it?" he whispered and Lucy hated herself but she couldn't resist the way his words calmed her down. She softened to his touch, nuzzling into his hand. "I'm sorry she did this to you."

Lucy looked up at him, noticing the sadness and regret in his eyes. "Who did what?"

Silas smiled weakly. "Nothing," he assured her. "Come on, we need to find those siblings of yours."

She smiled up at him. "Okay."

Night had fallen and they were still searching the woods for Katherine and Jeremy for whatever reason. They were taking so much time because of the simple fact that Silas had the need to keep Lucy by his side. They had to stop every twenty minutes or so in order for him to do his thing and keep her under his thumb, controlling her mind.

Unable to stop herself, Lucy spoke to him of her worries about school, her family down in New Orleans, her relationship with Elena and Katherine, and her bond with Caroline. She also spoke about Stefan and that made him upset, but when she offered to stop talking, he shook her off and told her to go on. And so she told him their story; how Stefan was originally with Elena when she fell for him, how he exchanged his life in order to save Damon's life, how he shut off his humanity but she was the one to bring him back, how they celebrated his 163rd birthday, how they got together, how he proposed…how worried she'd been all summer…

Shockingly, Silas was a good listener. He made comments, some thoughtful, most of them snarky, but he was funny. Funny in the way that Stefan was with her, but less controlled and full of himself.

In return, Silas told her the things that she wouldn't know about him. He described in perfect detail, the suffering he went through for two thousand years on the island. He recalled the way he'd become hopeful when she was born—and apparently she'd had more than four lives, which shocked the hell of her—that she would find him, and then how distressed he felt when he felt her die again. He remembered his thirst so vividly that it made her throat dry, craving some blood of her own. He told her of the relief he felt when he saw her, and how guilty he felt killing her.

"Why did you kill me?" she asked, unable to help herself.

If Silas loved her so much, then how could he justify that?

"I didn't know you had vampire blood in you," he explained carefully as they treaded over a fallen tree. "I knew you were a siphoner, so I expected that you'd go to the Other Side."

"But why? You wanted to bring down the veil," Lucy reminded him. "Professor Shane said you wanted to be with your true love."

"And I did, I do," Silas nodded with a small smile. "My original plan was to kill you, destroy the Other Side, take the cure, then off myself. We'd be together but we wouldn't be under Qetsiyah's thumb. We'd be happy and we'd have peace."

"What's the plan now, then?"

"I can't tell you much," he admitted. "but just know that finding Katherine is the first step."

"And that's why we're walking in the woods."

Silas hummed in confirmation. "Shh," he said suddenly, both of them pausing in their tracks. "Someone's coming."

That someone was Matt. Lucy could recognize the scent of greasy fries, cherries, and spicy myrrh anywhere. The lantern he was carrying did illuminate his face, but even without it she could see his pretty blue eyes.

He hadn't spotted them yet, but when Silas stepped in front of him, he stopped in his tracks.

"Not a word out of you," Silas compelled him as Lucy's heart raced fearfully. "You can't talk, you can't scream."

Matt stared at him like he was crazy, his eyebrows furrowing. "Yeah, actually, I can," he said defiantly before raising his voice, "Jeremy, run!"

Lucy let out a sigh of relief, glad that her siblings could get a head start away from Silas. Unfortunately, Silas didn't like Matt's little act of defiance.

"Why can't I get inside your head?" he advanced on Matt, who watched him wearily, and grabbed his head, studying him; Matt dropped his lantern and his hatchet from whatever he was doing in his head. "Now I see why. Somebody's already in there."

"Silas…" Lucy said warningly, but Silas waved her off.

"Why are you watching me, Traveler?" he demanded angrily. "Odpovezete Mi!"

He easily snapped Matt's neck, his body dropping to the ground carelessly.

"Matt!" the shock of her friend's death brought Lucy out of Silas' mind control. She ran to Matt and knelt by his body, frantically searching for the Gilbert ring. She sighed in relief when she found it on his right ring finger. "Thank God."

"Why are relieved?" Silas raised his eyebrows at her. "You haven't even cried. You used to cry at everything."

"What?" she looked up at him where he was standing above her and Matt, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," Silas crouched down next to her. "Unfortunately, I don't have time to do anything to you right now. I'm hoping your brother finds Matt, here, and then I can go hunting for a doppelganger. I'm sorry in advance."

"What?"

She didn't get her answer, her neck was snapped within the next second.

Her neck ached when she woke up.

Lucy sat up quickly when all of her senses came back to her at once, and looked around. She was in the bed of Matt's truck with Matt's body laying beside her, and Katherine and Jeremy were standing just outside of it. They looked at her when she moved so suddenly, both of them with relieved expressions on their faces.

"Good, you're okay," Jeremy gave her a hand to help her off the truck; she took it and easily jumped to the ground. "Now we just have to wait for Matt."

"Where's Silas?" It was the first thing to come to mind, so it was the first thing she asked.

"I killed him," Katherine waved at her proudly. "Well, temporarily killed him. I used a shotgun and everything."

"Really?" Lucy quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Yep," Katherine confirmed with a nod. "So, what were you doing with Silas?"

"He was using his mind control on me. He wanted to have a little talk," she wasn't going to tell her, nor Jeremy about what they talked about. She wouldn't tell anyone but Stefan—and maybe Caroline. "he wants to find you, though."

"Yeah, we've been running all day now," Jeremy sighed. "He's got all of Mystic Falls looking out for an Elena lookalike."

"He's stronger now," Lucy nodded. "So, you skipped school?"

"Actually, he was expelled," Katherine spilled the beans, causing Jeremy to wince.

"You were?" Lucy looked at him, surprised. She laughed a little. "Does that mean you can be homeschooled now?"

"Unfortunately, Joel has plans to compel the principal," Jeremy grinned back at her.

Suddenly, Matt gasped loudly as he came back to life, earning all of their attention. He looked around in confusion and got his bearings before sitting up.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," Katherine greeted him.

Matt rubbed his neck, causing Lucy to wince; if her neck still hurt even after healing, his pain had to be awful. "What the fuck happened?"

"Yeah, Silas killed you and Lucy, tried to kill me, then…"

"I shot him," Katherine smirked grimly. "So, we're even. No more whining," she grabbed his arm and Lucy moved, helping her get him off of the truck bed. "Let's go. Silas won't be done for long."

"Hey," Jeremy spoke up and all eyes went to him; he was staring back into the woods, a sad look on his face. "I left the hatchet. I'll be right back."

"Hurry up," Lucy nodded at him. "It's a school night, young man."

Jeremy shook his head with a grin and took off back into the woods. She was quiet as she, Katherine, and Matt got into the truck, thinking about all that happened since that afternoon. She was with Silas and he scared her, and he comforted her, and he listened to her, and he was good with her. And despite the way he frightened her, she really did believe that he loved her.

And it was fucking scary because deep down, there was a part of her that cared for him, too. It was just like with all of the people she came across from her past lives; she recalled her memories and her feelings and thoughts came with. It made her feel so guilty because Stefan was wherever he was, suffering because of Silas, and she was here, thinking about them both.

She was a horrible, horrible person.

"I'll be back soon," Lucy assured Caroline as she walked up the steps to her apartment in Mystic Falls. "I don't know when, but I'll be back. I promise."

"I know," Caroline replied with a sigh. "It's gonna be okay, Luce."

"I don't know if it is, Care," Lucy didn't believe that, not with everything going on. "I'm scared."

She was scared about so many things that she felt sick.

"You're gonna find him. If anyone's going to, it's gonna be you," Caroline said firmly. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Lucy wished that she was with Caroline at that moment, but unfortunately, she was an hour and a half away. "Bye."

"Bye."

When Lucy finally got to the third floor, Damon was waiting for her at her door. "Hey."

"Hi," she smiled weakly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize," he said sincerely. "You were right about Stefan and I should have listened to you. Honestly, I was so happy about me and Elena that I didn't want anything fucking it up. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry about it all."

Lucy knew that he was being truthful and it was nice that he took the time to sincerely apologize. It wasn't like Damon, sure, but it was still nice.

"And I brought you this," he pulled something out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her; it was Stefan's daylight ring. "I snagged it from Silas yesterday."

Lucy smiled sadly, rubbing her thumb against the shiny metal band. "Thanks, Damon."

"We're gonna find him," he assured her. "I won't stop until we do."

"Me either."

"Good," he nodded at her and smiled weakly. "I'm gonna go. I'll call you if I hear anything from Liz."

"Thanks."

When Damon left, she entered her apartment and locked the door right behind her. A simple lock probably wouldn't stop Silas from getting to her if he wanted to, but she was hoping that he'd be a little preoccupied coming back to life.

Once she set her keys and phone on the kitchen island, she went straight to her wall of bookshelves. She pulled out a map of Mystic Falls, hoping that Stefan was in proximity, and that whoever was keeping his location blocked was ready to step out of the way. She was too angry, too sad, too guilty to be stopped this time. She would use all of her magic if she had to.

She was going to find Stefan.