[5x04; For Whom the Bell Tolls]

"You left Stefan with Damon and Elena?" Caroline screeched from the speaker of Lucy's phone. "I thought you were smarter than that, Luce."

"I didn't want to," Lucy sighed. "but they pretty much insisted and after my failure of trying to siphon the spell him—which did not go well, by the way—I was put on grimoire duty and trying to get a hold of Bonnie. And that is also not going well."

"I'll try her, too," Caroline volunteered. "Have Damon or Elena given you any updates?"

"I've received one update so far," she reported to her best friend. "and it said 'so far, so good.' And that was Damon who sent it, so that means…"

"It means that they probably devoured a troop of Girl Scouts while Elena gave them a disapproving glare," Caroline finished her sentence; Lucy scoffed lightly in agreement. "Well, is Joel with them?"

"He's working until one, but then he's gonna join them at the Grill. I might join him."

"Okay," Caroline hummed. "Well, I did a little research for you and Stefan. Did you know it's not uncommon for patients with retrograde amnesia or other traumatic brain injuries to turn volatile?"

Lucy smiled, impressed. "No, I didn't. Wow, Care, it sounds like you did more than a little research."

"I may have studied up on my chem, biochem, applied microbio, molecular bio, and Grey's Anatomy—the real one and the television show."

"You are the best person that has ever lived, Caroline Elizabeth," Lucy's heart melted; she loved her best friend so damn much. "I'm sure Stefan will really appreciate that you did that all for him.

"Well, you two are my best friends. And you're also my favorite couple in the whole wide world," Caroline giggled. "But I'm also trying to impress Dr. Maxfield."

"That's your applied microbio professor, right?"

"Mmhm. I figured if I could get closer to him and into his biology class, maybe I could figure out why he covered up our roommate's murder by vampire," Caroline whispered into the phone; Lucy realized that it was because she was walking through one of the school buildings because she could hear voices that weren't Caroline's. "and it's also possible that I have a study buddy."

"Oh, really?"

Caroline didn't answer her right away, but she heard her greet Dr. Maxfield and ask Jesse—yes, frat-party Jesse—if he was ready to study. Lucy gasped like it was the most scandalous thing she had ever heard. It wasn't by far—especially by Caroline.

"You're studying with Jesse?" Lucy fought back the squeal she was tempted to make. "Hot and funny frat-party Jesse? Jesse, who so happens to be Dr. Maxfield's teaching assistant and also the guy who makes come-hither eyes at you every time you happen to run into each other?"

Caroline giggled. "I'm dragging him to our hometown graveyard bell-ringing ceremony."

"Ew," Lucy frowned; she had never liked that certain Mystic Falls annual event. "What a mood killer."

"Get your head out of the gutter. It's a study date," the blonde scolded her. "And while I'm there, I might as well ring a bell for Tyler and me, considering our relationship is on its death bed."

"Care…"

"Don't give me your sympathetic voice because if I think about it too much, I'll start crying," Caroline warned her before she perked up again. "Will I see you there? You could bring Stefan. I mean, it is ironically called Remembrance Day."

"I don't know, I might," Lucy hesitated. "Right now it depends on how he's doing with everything that Elena and Damon are telling him. 163 years of memories are a lot to handle."

"I know," Caroline sighed. "All right, well, I'll talk to you later."

"Okay," Lucy smirked mischievously. "Use protection."

"I hate you, Lucy Eleanora!"

"Love you too, Care. Bye."

Lucy sighed as she shoved her phone in the back pocket of her jeans. She walked back over to her bed and plopped down amongst her three grimoires, trying to find anything that may help Stefan get his memories back. She also had to keep trying to get a hold of Bonnie, which was proving to be more difficult than she previously though.

She opened her Mikaelson grimoire and started reading; she had a lot of work to do.

The bell that was temporarily situated at the door of the bar Damon and Elena brought him to was rung once again. A man called out a toast to his uncle and then everyone drank. Stefan had no idea why these people were drinking, but it wasn't bad. It certainly gave him an opportunity to get drunk and forget about the fact that he had no memories.

Everything that Damon—who was apparently his older brother—and Elena—who was Lucy's older half-sister—were telling him jogged nothing upstairs. His own damn journals, which he had read thoroughly, gave him nothing but dramatically written phrases about his so-called ripper binges and his feelings.

Right now, he knew a couple of things for sure. One: the girl he woke up to was Lucy and she was a witch-vampire hybrid who was also somehow a reincarnation. Another was that he was a vampire and a doppelganger of some ancient immortal named Silas. And third, he was thirsty.

Stefan sank back the shot that Damon had placed in front of him. "Wow," he inhaled deeply once he swallowed down the liquor. "Is this town always so upbeat about dead people?"

"No," Elena assured him before taking her own shot.

"It's a morbid town tradition," Damon explained. "See, if you go back to the 1820s, that was when everyone was so paranoid about the Cholera thing that they would occasionally bury a body a wee bit before its time."

Stefan furrowed his eyebrows. "So, we have a holiday dedicated to burying people alive?"

"Well, they were so paranoid that they would actually request to be buried with a string attached to a bell above ground. Then the whole family would hang around the grave for twenty-four hours in hopes of hearing the bell and that their loved one would come back."

"But now, it's a great excuse to get drunk," Elena finished.

A waitress walked up to their table, then, setting down new shots for each of them. Stefan didn't pay much attention to the alcohol, though. His eyes were on the artery in the waitress' neck where he could hear the rush of blood and the wet thumping of her heart. His mouth filled with saliva even though he felt thirstier than before.

Suddenly the waitress walked away before Stefan could even attempt to pounce on her and drink his fill of her blood. When Damon snapped his fingers in front of his face, he looked at him with wide eyes.

"What the fuck was that?"

"That, my brother, was you jonesing for something a little stronger than a blood bag," Damon answered him while Elena gave him a worried look.

"So, what's the problem?" Stefan understood that in his previous years—years he didn't even remember—that he had a problem with blood. But he was a new man now, apparently. He was sure he could handle a little blood. "You two spent the whole night trying to convince me I was a vampire. I'm convinced. Let me act like one."

"Well, unfortunately, Stefan, there are two types of vampires in the world, okay? There are those that can handle moderation," Damon gestured toward himself and Elena before pointing at him. "and then there's you."

"Well, I'm no shrink," Stefan paused for a moment, asking, "Right?"

Elena nodded. "Right."

Stefan continued, looking back at Damon. "But maybe killing our father and turning into a vampire and all the trauma associated with that, is what made me become a vampire who feeds on people and then rips their heads off. But, now that I don't have all those memories and all that guilt, maybe the ripper thing won't be such a problem."

Damon cocked his head thoughtfully, then shook his head. "Let's not try it out, okay?"

The bell rang again, so Stefan, Damon, and Elena clinked their new shots together and threw them down. Just as Stefan put his shot glass back on the table, he noticed that Lucy and a tall guy with brown hair walking over to them.

"Are you drinking because you remember two centuries worth of memories or because you don't?" she asked Stefan as they came to a stop by the table.

Stefan felt a smile break out on his face. "Lucy, you're here."

"I am," Lucy grinned back at him. "Stefan, this is my older brother, Joel."

"Hi," Stefan nodded at Joel before looking back at Lucy. "How many siblings do you have?"

"I have ten siblings, four of which are dead," Lucy told him, leaving out that Kol was actually alive; she hadn't told anyone but Caroline that she brought him back to life and it was going to stay that way—after she told Stefan when he had his memories back. "and I have a niece on the way."

"Wow," Stefan gaped at her. "It must have been chaotic in your house when you were growing up."

"Eh," she shrugged. She wasn't going to explain how she had so many siblings, it would probably confuse him. Maybe later, if the amnesia lasted that long.

As Lucy and Joel sat down with them at their table, Stefan excused himself to the bathroom. Once he was out of hearing range, Elena and Damon turned to Lucy expectantly.

"So?" Damon prompted.

"I wasn't able to find anything in my grimoires, not even Esther's," Lucy told them with a sigh, frustrated with her lack of progress. "I think that something might be in the Bennett grimoire, though, since Qetsiyah was a Bennett herself."

Elena leaned forward, bracing her elbows against the table. "Did you get a hold of Bonnie, then?"

"I tried. I called her ten times, texted her twenty, and emailed her twelve. Caroline even was trying," Lucy informed them all. "She hasn't gotten back to neither of us."

"All right," Damon accepted that pretty well. "Until she gets back to any of us, I saw we just let Stefan be Stefan. Fun, carefree, drunk Stefan without a hundred years of vampire guilt on his shoulders."

"That guilt came from a blood addiction that might still be hard-wired in his brain," Lucy said pointedly. "And all those memories he lost, that's what made him our Stefan."

Damon rolled his eyes at her. "I know you're taking a psychology class, but you're not an expert of nature verses nurture."

"Damon, leave her alone," Joel spoke up in defense of Lucy, who looked like she wanted to curse Damon's ass all the way back home. He glanced toward the bathroom and added, "Uh, should Stefan be back by now?"

Lucy frowned and looked around the Grill. Stefan wasn't anywhere that she could see, and he usually didn't take long in the bathroom when he actually had to go. "I'll go look for him."

"Me too," Damon agreed, standing up with her. "I'll take the bathrooms, you take the kitchen."

Lucy nodded and they went separate ways. While Lucy was making her way through the heavy crowd celebrating Remembrance Day, she picked up Stefan's voice with her enhanced hearing.

"Don't scream, don't move," he compelled someone; Lucy picked up her pace, fighting through the customers now. "I don't want to hurt you. You seem really nice. It's not like I want to rip your head off but I keep being told that if I have one taste, I won't be able to stop. And although the thought of killing you scares the fuck out of me, this feeling of hunger that I have inside of me is just so much more powerful."

Once Lucy was clear of the people surrounding her—and after making sure that no one was in the kitchen—she used her vampire speed to get to Stefan. His vampire features were out on display when she entered the room, and she immediately lunged toward him, knocking him away from the girl he was about to kill. Stefan gasped heavily as he fought his blood lust, but he let her push him further away from the waitress.

"You're okay," she breathed in reassurance. "It's okay."

After Damon took care of the waitress, compelling her to forget the whole thing with Stefan, the five of them left the Grill and made their way to the cemetery in order to relax and give remembrance to the dead Salvatores, hoping that something would jog Stefan's memory.

Lucy walked close by him as they walked through the people huddling around their loved ones' graves. It was just in case Stefan had another urge for human blood from the source. If he told her to back off, she would, but she didn't want Stefan feeling guilty when he got his memories back if he actually attacked and killed a human.

"What kind of name is Honoria Fell?" Stefan asked loudly as they passed by an old headstone.

"Shh," Damon hissed at him to be quiet. "You're kind of the one that killed her."

Stefan raised his eyebrows. "Oh."

It wasn't the right time, but Lucy couldn't help but giggle. The way that Stefan pointed out the admittedly odd name and then become so nonchalant about the fact he killed the woman was kind of funny. Even if he wasn't her Stefan without his memories, seeing him without two centuries of guilt made him seem lighter.

They entered the Salvatore tomb. While Lucy lit the candles with her magic, Damon stated, "Hindsight being 20/20, there was way too much temptation at the bar. So if the ripper gene is biological, then we need to minimize human contact until we get your brain all witch-y-wooed back to normal. So, here it is."

Stefan's eyes darted around the tomb. "So, this is the family crypt, huh?" Damon hummed in confirmation. "Anybody here I didn't kill?"

"Well, we've covered our father, who art in Hell," Damon rang the bell he snagged when they got to the cemetery. "Uncle Zach, my bad," again, the bell rang. "On the bright side, our mother died of consumption."

"Oh, good," Stefan mumbled in surprise as Damon rang the bell once more.

Damon pulled his phone out of his jeans as it vibrated. "Ooh," he read the message he received. "Joel, Jeremy needs to talk to us."

"Okay," Joel nodded.

At that moment, Lucy's own phone dinged with a new message. It was from Matt.

Matty: Can you come over? I need to talk to you about something serious

Luce: Of course. I'm on my way

"We've got to go see a man about a witch," Damon informed Stefan. "Party on without us. Brother, for you," he set the bottle of bourbon down on one of the benches before handing the bell to Elena. "And this is for you."

"I have to go, too," Lucy told Stefan apologetically; Stefan frowned. "I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"

He nodded.

Lucy smiled at him and then started to leave the crypt. On the way out, Elena gave her a pointed look; Lucy nodded back, knowing that Elena would distract him from his bloodlust.

Matt let her into the Lockwood mansion as soon as she stepped onto the porch. "Thank God you're here," he sighed in relief as he led her through the foyer and into the office right off of it. "I'm freaking out. I tried emailing Bonnie, and then I asked Jeremy to contact Bon for me, but neither of them got back to me."

"Yeah, Bonnie hasn't been answering me either," Lucy frowned and rubbed his back, trying to bring some sort of comfort. "Okay, tell me what's going on."

Matt wandered over to Mayor Lockwood's former desk and pulled a dagger wrapped in a cloth from one of the drawers.

"So, I woke up last night, covered in mud, with this," he showed her the knife.

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows. "That's weird."

"Yeah, I know," Matt agreed. "I have no idea where it came from. I blacked out and I'm pretty sure that it's not the first time."

The scenario sounded familiar. It sounded like Alaric. She stood up and took the knife from Matt, studying the carvings on the handle. "How many times have you died wearing Jeremy's ring?"

"I don't think it's the Gilbert ring that's messing with me, Luce," Matt shook his head frantically. "No, like, it's got to have something to do with why Silas couldn't mind-control me. He saw something or someone or whatever that Czech freak put in my head. But I think it's still there."

"Okay, first, you're going to have to calm down, Matty, okay?" she said soothingly as something caught her attention from the corner of her eye. It was a video camera. "Why do you have a camera out?"

"I set them up all over the house to help me figure out how I'm losing time," Matt explained. "Look, I think you and Bonnie are the only people who can help me and Bonnie's not answering…"

Lucy frowned at him, hating that he was going through whatever this whole thing was. "All right, sit down," she gestured to one of the couches. "I want to try to get inside your head."

Matt sat down on the couch and let Lucy press her fingers to his temples. She muttered a spell under her breath, one of the spells from the Mikaelson grimoire that allowed a witch to get inside a person's head. Matt's mind barrier was relatively easy to get through but it was after that when she was stopped abruptly. It was magic that was blocking her, but it didn't feel like the magic she had or even the magic that Bonnie possessed.

Matt hissed in pain as she tried to get through again.

"Sorry," Lucy apologized as she pulled her hands away from him. "I definitely think someone or something is hanging around in your head."

Matt popped back up onto his feet. "Okay, so what can we do? Like, how do we get it out of there?" he begged for an answer. "Luce, I haven't slept for days and I'm freaking out about this."

"I know," Lucy grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. "but I'm gonna do some research, okay? I'll contact all of my sources—" which was Kol and maybe Silas, since Matt had mentioned the day he had tried to control his mind; yeah, she didn't have many sources "—and I'll try Google and anything that will make this better. I promise, Matt."

Matt nodded but the panic in his eyes broke her heart. She pulled him into a hug, silently vowing to help him however she could.

Elena called Lucy shortly after she left the Lockwood mansion. She told Lucy that Stefan had wandered away from her when she took a call from Damon and now she had no idea where he was. A little irritated with Elena's lack of ability to occupy Stefan for only an hour, Lucy told her sister that she would look for him.

Once she hung up, she thought about where Stefan would go. He only knew of three places in Mystic Falls thanks to his amnesia; the Salvatore Boarding House, the Grill, and the cemetery. Because he had a little argument with Elena, she doubted that he'd go back to the Boarding House. She didn't think he would go to the Grill, either, because he seemed genuinely apologetic about trying to eat the waitress. So, that left the cemetery.

When Lucy got to the cemetery, she found Stefan stealing a half-drunk bottle of alcohol from an unsuspecting group of people sharing a blanket by a headstone. She wandered up to him as he put the bottle to his lips and gulped the whiskey down.

"Hi, there," she spoke up. "Can I have some?"

Stefan pulled the bottle from his lips and handed it to her. "Here you go," she took a sip of the whiskey, wincing at the burn at the back of her throat. "You drink?"

"Mmhm," she hummed and handed the bottle back to him. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. You just don't seem like the kind of person to drink," Stefan shrugged. "Also, you don't seem to be a fan of whiskey."

"I'm not. I like the fruity stuff," she admitted with a laugh. "and I'm a bit of a lightweight. I've gotten better since I turned into a vampire."

"Really?"

"Yup," Lucy nodded. "So, not to bring up bad stuff, but what did you and Elena fight about?"

"We didn't fight, not really," Stefan took another gulp of the whiskey. "First, she took me back to where we first met, which was apparently next to the men's bathroom. She was trying to jog my memory but it didn't work. And then she took me to Wickery bridge, where she said that your parents died there and she also turned into vampire."

"Okay, that doesn't seem that bad."

"It wasn't," Stefan said truthfully, a grimace playing at his lips. "It's just, uh, I don't know how to explain it, but I didn't want to spend the rest of the night with her."

Lucy raised her eyebrows, holding back the grin that threatened to appear on her face. "Oh yeah? Who'd you want to spend it with?"

If Stefan could blush, he would have been. "You. You're, uh, you're the only one who hasn't told me about you."

"Well, what did you want to know?"

Lucy watched as Stefan's expression warped into a flirtatious face where he acted like he was serious. He leaned against one of the nearby trees and crossed his arms over his chest, pursing his lips. "What are we?"

Lucy laughed and raised her chin. "Ah, the what-are-we speech. Isn't this a little too soon?"

Stefan shrugged. "I don't think so. See, I know that you're important to me."

"Do you?"

"Mmhm," he hummed in response and Lucy felt her stomach clench. Whenever he got that smooth tone of voice, it always meant promising bedroom activities. "Wanna know how I know?"

"Yes."

"Your scent is all over my bedroom and my stuff, almost every single journal entry in the past two to three years has mentioned you," he listed, his green eyes searing into hers. "There's a picture on the side of my bed of us together, and in the top drawer of my dresser is the box that goes to that," he nodded at the engagement ring on her left hand.

Lucy raised her eyebrows; she knew that Stefan was smart, but he was way too observant. "Points for Stefan. You're good."

"Good enough to know that you were avoiding me all day."

Lucy closed her eyes and ducked her head. Maybe she was avoiding him; maybe she was being such a busy bee today because she didn't know how to act around Stefan. Even though she spent most of the day trying to get his memories back, she should have been by his side, trying to help him figure things out.

"I'm sorry. I just—I—"

"There you guys are!" Caroline's perky voice came from behind Stefan.

Lucy smiled at her in greeting, feeling guilty for the relief that came with her interruption, while Stefan turned. His eyes swept the length of Caroline's body as he took another drink.

"Caroline Forbes, our best friend."

Lucy's heart warming at his use of 'our.'

Caroline perked up in excitement, her blue eyes darting between Lucy and Stefan. "You recognize me?"

"Well, I've studied pictures," Stefan gulped down the rest of the whiskey. "You're much hotter in person."

Both Lucy and Caroline gaped at him before Lucy started giggling. That was—that was hilarious to her for two reasons. One, Caroline was hot and it was great because Caroline thought that Stefan was hot, too. Two, it was funny because Stefan and Caroline had a brother-sister relationship and when Stefan got his memories back, he was going to be so horrified.

As an amused smile bloomed on Caroline's face, Stefan faltered. "Sorry, I'm—I'm a little drunk."

"Yeah, we can see that," Caroline laughed as she shared a look with a still giggling Lucy. "Are you okay?"

"Well, if by okay, you mean heavily spiraling into ripper oblivion, then yes, I'm dandy."

Caroline's eyes darted to Lucy questionably.

"We're working on it," Lucy muttered sheepishly, guiltily. Was he upset because of her? "It might help if his sober-sponsor helped."

Before Caroline responded, Jesse had walked over to him. "Keg-stand guy passed out," he told Caroline while nodding at Lucy in greeting. He held up two red solo cups full of beer. "so I stole these."

Caroline smiled softly, glanced back at Lucy and Stefan, before she asked him, "Hey, do you mind just giving us a couple of minutes?"

"Yeah, it's probably a good idea because I can sense from here that you have a paper cut on the palm of your left hand," Stefan spoke up, making Jesse glance at his left hand. "and I want to rip your entire arm off."

"Okay, woah, Stefan," Lucy wrapped her hands around his arm closest to her and made him take a couple steps away from Jesse, holding onto him firmly.

Caroline gave Stefan a stern look before turning back to Jesse. "Go away, hide," she compelled him. "I'll find you."

Jesse turned away without a word.

"Look, I know that you're hungry," Caroline walked over to Stefan, speaking softly. "but you don't do people, okay? It just—it doesn't end well."

"What about blood bags?" Stefan wondered. "Do you have any of those?"

"I have some in the car," Lucy offered. "You wanna come with me?"

Stefan nodded. "Sure."

Lucy should have kept her grip on him, but she hadn't thought about the fact that he would still try to go after Jesse. She was only steps away from him when she heard him use his vampire speed to run from her and pass Caroline.

"Damn it," she sighed, stomping toward Caroline in frustration. "How many places are there to hide in the cemetery?"

Caroline pressed her lips together. "A lot."

They looked at approximately ten different crypts in the span of nine minutes. It was only after the eleventh that they heard Stefan talking to Jesse. They sped to the Salvatore crypt, where they followed his voice to, but Stefan had already tore his fangs through Jesse's neck.

"Stefan, stop!" Lucy exclaimed while she held up one hand, using her magic to separate him from Jesse. She dropped her magic and walked over to him, holding him back from trying to attack Jesse again. "This isn't you. You might not remember, but I do, Broody. You are better than this. You are not this person."

There was a dazed look in Stefan's eyes. "I have to go."

Lucy glance back at Caroline where she was feeding Jesse some of her blood to heal him. "How about I take you somewhere?" she suggested to Stefan. "Do you trust me?"

Stefan nodded numbly, wiping off his bloody mouth with his wrist.

"Okay," she took his hand and squeezed it. "Just follow me, okay? It will only take a minute to get there."

She took Stefan to their place, a couple hundred feet away from Steven's Quarry.

"So, why are we at a random field?" Stefan asked as they sat near each other in the grass.

"This…is our place," Lucy told him with a fond smile, memories of them being there together flashing through her mind. "We hang out here all the time. When one of us are in a mood, or we want to be alone…We even finger painted here once."

"I've finger painted before?" Stefan asked her, surprised.

Lucy giggled. "I've convinced you to finger paint a few times," she said. "It's the only painting you're good at."

"Should I be offended?" he grinned at her, his beloved dimples popping out.

"Of course not," she assured him and brushed some hair that the wind had blown in her face. "I can paint enough for the both of us."

Stefan's smile faded slightly as he thought of their conversation; Lucy saw his change of expression. She could guess that he was thinking about how she had been avoiding him all day. She wasn't purposefully trying to do that, but she felt the need to explain herself anyway.

"I didn't mean to avoid you," she spoke before he could, beginning to ramble. "I've been looking at some grimoires, trying to find anything that would you your memories back and Matt needed my help but I—honestly, I thought you might have wanted to figure out who you were without my being around."

"Why wouldn't I want you to be around?" Stefan furrowed his brows. "We're engaged."

"Yeah, but our relationship isn't the only thing about you, Stefan," Lucy stated with a soft smile on her face. "You love cars, fixing them up, collecting them. You're an absolute sci-fi fanatic. You used to be a paramedic. You had a best friend named Lexi for over a century…" as she spoke, she could tell by Stefan's face that what she told him he didn't know much about. "you like cherry cheesecake and you once got drunk on the Statue of Liberty."

"And that stuff…that's all so important to who you are. You need to know who you are in order to know who we are," she finished.

Stefan didn't react at first, but the calmness that his body encompassed relaxed, made her think that he agreed with her. She watched hesitantly as Stefan shifted from where he was sitting; he gave her a small smile as he playfully flopped his head into her lap.

"So, who is Stefan Salvatore?" he asked while she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Do we have ten years?" Lucy asked jokingly, earning herself a grin from the boy in her lap. "All right, Stefan Salvatore is…"

Lucy told Stefan everything, everything that she knew about him.. Admittedly, it was a lot of information. From his favorite color and movie to the shampoo and bodywash he used. Some of the stuff was scandalous, which always got a shocked look out of Stefan—sometimes he would wink and she'd burst into giggles. He now knew exactly when they both started having feelings for each other, what he and Klaus had done the previous summer, how he was the glue to their group in Mystic Falls and how he was the most compassionate person she knew.

And all the while she talked and Stefan asked questions, Lucy felt like her heart would burst. She had missed him so much over the summer and she felt so guilty when she found out that he had been suffering by himself. She hated Silas for what he did to Stefan, she hated Qetsiyah for taking his memories, and she hated herself for not finding him sooner. She couldn't protect Stefan and that broke her heart—but, right now? He was in her arms and he was safe.

She would find a way to get Stefan's memories back. They would stop Silas. They would figure out what it was that Qetsiyah really wanted.

Everything would be fine.

There were many times in Lucy's life where she would wake up with red and puffy eyes from a night of crying. She'd always spend extra time in the bathroom that morning, ignoring Joel's objections so that no one would know that she had her heart broken and nothing could fix it.

When Lucy opened her eyes that morning, Caroline's face was the first thing she saw. Her best friend since kindergarten was still sleeping and she looked as perfect as ever, her night of crying unable to be seen. Lucy supposed that she looked like that too. She would have preferred red and puffy eyes.

Gently, as to not wake her up, Lucy kissed Caroline on the forehead before rolling out of bed. Her eyes caught sight of the cardigan in Caroline's hands and her shattered heart ached even more. It was Bonnie's cardigan, one that she had left at Lucy's apartment in the spring, and it still smelt like her.

Tears glossed over her eyes and she sped into the bathroom before they could fall. Slumping against the door, she fell to the floor and just let herself cry.

Bonnie was dead and she had been all summer. She had traded her life for Jeremy's and none of them had known. Of course, Lucy was devastated—she had been friends with Bonnie for most of her life, even if they had a few fights sometimes, and she loved her—but more than that, she felt so damn guilty.

It was Lucy who agreed to the plan to bring back Kol and Jeremy with Bonnie. She was okay, and so were her two brothers, but Bonnie wasn't. She had been dead. She was dead and it was all her fault.

"It's my fault," Lucy's sobs were muffled against her arm but she didn't care.

How could she not have known that Bonnie was dead? She should have known. She should have known…

She took a few deep breaths to ease the aching in her chest, not wanting to be thrown into a panic attack. She couldn't lose control because this wasn't about her—it was about Bonnie and the people she loved. She had to be strong now, for Caroline and Matt. Just like they were strong for her when she was grieving.

"I'm sorry, Bonnie," she whispered. She hoped that Bonnie had found peace and she wasn't trapped on the Other Side, but if she was, she hoped her friend could hear her. "I'm so sorry."

Her limbs felt heavy as she stood from the bathroom floor. Looking into the mirror, her face was as beautifully put together as always—her vampirism was good for something, at least—but her skin was wet. She quickly dried it with a face towel and straightened out her clothing before leaving the room.

Caroline wasn't in her bed anymore; while Stefan had taken her spot, Caroline had wandered over to the kitchen. She and Joel were making breakfast, both of them somber, but comforting one another.

"You don't have to go through this alone, Care," she heard Joel to her best friend. "I'm here for you."

Lucy tuned away from their conversation before Caroline could respond, knowing that it was a private matter. She faced Stefan and forced a smile onto her face before she plopped down on the bed to sit next to him.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Hmm, I'm feeling better," he told her. "I feel more under control."

"That's good," and Lucy was really happy for him, but she just couldn't put a smile on how she felt.

Even Stefan didn't have his memories, he still somehow could read her. Stefan, Lucy, Caroline, and Joel all heard about Bonnie's death from Jeremy at the same time, so he knew how destroyed his friends were. He was sure if he still had his memories, he'd be the same way.

"I'm sorry about Bonnie," he grabbed her hand, softly linking their fingers together. "I wish I could remember her."

"Bonnie was good," a wave of sadness crashed over her when she realized that the world would get to see any of Bonnie Bennett's goodness ever again. A sob tore its way out of her throat but she quickly slapped her hand over her mouth to suppress it. She was supposed to be strong. "I'm sorry, it's just…I miss her but I want to be strong for Care and Matt and I don't know what to do about all of this guilt inside me…I have—I have to—"

"Shh," Stefan pulled her into a tight hug. "You have me. Let me be here for you."

Lucy buried her head into his shoulder, her tears already soaking the fabric of his shirt, and clung to him tightly.

Hours later, dressed in black and lashes coated with waterproof mascara, Lucy and Caroline held each other's hands as they followed Damon and Elena through the woods. Matt stuck close to their sides and there was not a word between any of them as they traveled to the area where Jeremy and Joel had set up Bonnie's memorial.

Jeremy stood close to Joel, both of them dressed properly, as he set a framed photo of Bonnie on a large tree stump in front of him. They had all brought stuff with them that reminded them of Bonnie and they would place them together on the stump as a proper memorial for their friend.

Caroline and Lucy went up to the stump together, neither of them with dry eyes. Caroline set down one of her cheerleading pom-poms, a reference to when Bonnie was on the cheer squad with them and Lucy squeezed her hand as a sob broke through her lips. For Bonnie, Lucy had brought the Bennett grimoire. She whispered her goodbyes as she carefully set it with the photo and the pom-pom and then looked up at her brothers. Joel was giving her a wet-eyed look of sympathy but it was the look on Jeremy's face that made her want to cry.

Despite the fact that Jeremy was devastated like everyone else, he stood tall and calm. He was being so strong, not only for all of them, but for Bonnie, too. Lucy hadn't forgotten that her brother was a medium—Jeremy could see Bonnie where they couldn't. Jeremy had grown into such a good man and there were no words that could describe how proud of him she was.

Lucy and Caroline took their spots again and Matt went to the stump to honor Bonnie. He gently set down a whistle that he and Bonnie earned while being lifeguards over the summer before junior year. Lucy saw his shoulders shake as he began crying; when he came back to his spot next to her, she grabbed his hand. Matt squeezed it tightly, shuffling over to her and Caroline.

Elena was next, and what she had brought Bonnie was heartbreaking. Lucy wasn't there, but she had heard from Bonnie how she had shown Elena that she was a witch. She had broken one of Elena's pillows and made the feathers float around in the air. A heart-wrenching sob came from Elena as she practically ran from the stump into Damon's arms, crying into his chest.

Joel cleared his throat thickly and raised the bell in his hand, ringing it three times. "We ring this bell in honor of Bonnie, in remembrance for her," he placed the bell on the stump with the other items. "Jeremy?"

Lucy squeezed her friends' hands on either side as Jeremy took a deep breath.

"I'm not sure what to say," he admitted; he paused for a second and glanced to his left before smiling softly. "Bonnie says that she's not going anywhere, that she has been here all along, for all of you. Elena, Bonnie watched you have the summer of your life and she saw you happy. She knows you think that you can't have a normal life, that you have to be there for everyone one, but you don't. Everyone will find their way. So, you're gonna repack your things, you're gonna go back to college, and you're gonna live it up."

"Matt, Bonnie says that you didn't do anything wrong," Jeremy moved onto Matt, who squeezed Lucy's hand tightly. "You know she would have sent you three hundred emails back if she could have. She misses you."

"Lucy…" Jeremy turned to Lucy and she let out a shaky breath. "Bonnie wants you to know that none of this was your fault. She's just glad that she got to see you happy. She wants you to know that you're gonna be able to help Stefan and that everything will be okay."

As tears fell down Lucy's damp cheeks, Jeremy and Bonnie spoke to Caroline, "Caroline, Bonnie watched you decorate that dorm room like your life depended on it," everyone broke into giggles. "and I know that college isn't everything you expected and that you feel like something's missing, but…Tyler."

Everyone turned to see Tyler walking toward the memorial, a white rose cradled gently between his fingers. Lucy smiled at him and let go of Caroline's hand, leaning her head on Matt's shoulder as they watched Caroline and Tyler embrace. They hugged for a few seconds before they came back. Tyler placed the rose on the stump with Bonnie's other things.

Lucy loved Bonnie. They had some hiccups in their friendship and sometimes they didn't like one another, but that was the past. All of that animosity had been taken care of before Bonnie had even died, and Lucy was grateful. She missed Bonnie and she would miss her for the rest of her life.