Half a Life Without You

Chapter 1: "My Heart is Broken"

I do not own the Harry Potter universe or its characters. I wish I could claim it as my own, but I am having fun putting a different spin on the story. I hope you enjoy!

(My heart is broken – Song by Evanescence - Synthesis)

"I pull away to face the pain

I close my eyes and drift away

Over the fear that I will never find

A way to heal my soul

And I will wander 'til the end of time

Torn away from you"

"My heart is broken

Sweet sleep, my dark angel

Deliver us from sorrow's hold

Or from my hard heart"

"I can't go on living this way

But I can't go back the way I came

Shamed of this fear that I will never find

A way to heal my soul

And I will wonder 'til the end of time

Half a life without you"

My body trembles as tears begin coursing down my face. I swipe them away, but they stubbornly continue raining down my face falling onto the pages of my book. I glance down and watch as the tiny drops blur the words. I wipe them away smearing a single word under my thumb…Always.

A wave of grief washes over me, I close my eyes and wish for a way to release myself from sorrow's hold, but there is no mercy, no release from the anguish only sorrow brings. My heart is broken.

In this moment I feel wrecked, how can I allow myself to be so destroyed by a man I don't know – a man that isn't even real?

Slamming the book closed I toss it to the floor, I surge up from my seat on the couch, pushing my hands forcefully to the sides of my head I pull my hair slightly from my scalp. I finally allow one single tormented cry to escape my lips "WHY!?" the single word bounces uselessly throughout the room. I crash to my knees; my hands fall limply to the floor weakened by the raw power of emotions just released.

I try to force a numbness to run over me, no longer wanting to feel anything. I invite the emptiness to invade my shattered heart, but it continues to silently cry, refusing my attempts to ignore the void I've just torn through it.

I slowly reach out pulling the book into my lap, tracing my fingers over the words etched into the title of the book cover "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows". I draw it closer into my chest wrapping my arms tightly around it. It helps to anchor me through the uncertain storm of my misery, preventing me from drifting into it once again.

I'm not sure how much time has passed, a minute, an hour, I'm unaware of the world around me. I turn to stare vacantly at the flames crackling softly within my fireplace. Leaning back against the couch I question my extreme reaction over the death of a fictional man. He felt real, everything just felt so real, especially in those final moments. He never had a chance to find happiness having sacrificed his life for the "greater good", knowing only loss and suffering for most of his life – it was just so painfully unfair and sad to know he only had half a life. Feeling the familiar sting prickling behind my eyes, I lay down on the floor curling into a protective ball.

I close my eyes as silent tears trickle over my cheeks and began to fervently whisper my deepest wishes over and over again, "I wish I could give him happiness; I wish I could show him love". Soon my eyes grow very heavy, and everything darkens, sleep has come to claim my exhausted mind and body taking me into the sweet oblivion of nothingness.

I awake with a groan, my body protesting as I roll over and stretch my sore muscles. Why does everything ache, the pounding in my head causes me to utter another soft groan of protest. I slowly reach up to rub my tired eyes open, squinting as the sunlight from the window temporarily blinds me. I begin to take in my surroundings, the first thing that becomes apparently clear is I'm no longer laying on the floor of my living room. I'm in a large open room with a high arched ceiling. There are rows of beds neatly lined up along the walls draped in white sheets. My mind whirls with shock and confusion "Oh my God, this is a hospital, am I sick? Dying?" a slight panic begins to rise within me, and I clasp my blankets tightly to my chest attempting to shield myself from my new reality.

A loud banging at the other end of the room grabs my attention, I watch as the large double doors swing open. Then I know I'm either still asleep or I've gone crazy because there could be no other explanation for the man slowly walking towards me. His long purple robes sweep the ground as he comes closer, eyes shining brightly from behind his moon shaped glasses. His long beard tucked neatly into his belt but strangely was not as gray as I would have imagined. His voice is whisper soft as he approaches, "Ah my dear, you are neither sleeping nor crazy. I fear you've somehow found yourself in a most peculiar situation. Allow me to properly introduce myself, although I think perhaps you already know who I am", he adds with a small smile before continuing with his introduction, "Albus Dumbledore at your service, and may I ask for your name?" Still in shock I stutter out my name, "E E Everly Q Q uinn, sir."

"Miss Everly Quinn I'm honored to make your acquaintance." His eyes twinkling even brighter if possible.

"Everly, do you know how you came to be here?" Unable to find my voice, I shake my head no. He simply nods and I get the feeling he wasn't asking for his knowledge, but to ascertain what I knew. I focus as he continues "I was quite surprised by your sudden appearance, it was rather… unexpected, especially considering the protection wards surrounding Hogwarts. They are exceptionally powerful, and one cannot simply appear within these walls without…injury."

I stare up at him with a look of bewilderment, he's surprised by my appearance, I'm fucking stunned. Based on what he just said I'm literally laying in a bed at Hogwarts talking to Albus freaking Dumbledore. Despite his earlier assurance I'm pretty sure I've lost my mind.

Staring into his eyes I can see he now looks amused and I'm now beginning to suspect he knows what I'm thinking." Are you Legilimensing me?" I ask with wide eyes.

A full Cheshire grin spreads across his face, "Sorry, I must admit to being guilty of snooping within your mind a little, I'm skilled in the art of legilimency and find it useful to identify potential threats."

I can't help but feel insulted "I'm not a threat and I really don't want you…uh…snooping through my mind."

He continues to speak to me with his wide smile, as if he didn't just say he's been reading my mind. "Yes, well I had to be sure you weren't here to cause harm, and I can see now this is something altogether different."

I watch as he pulls over a chair to sit beside my bed. I can feel my heart hammering as I build up the courage to ask him the same question, he posed to me a few minutes ago, "how did I get here?"

He peers back at me, his face now serious. "have you heard of soulmates?" I nod my head in the affirmative and silently wonder what direction he could possibly be headed with this.

Leaning forward in his chair he continues, "Soulmates can be used to describe a strong love between two people, but it's much more than just shared love. It's a connection of two souls perfectly suited to one another, their true other half in mind, body, and soul. It's extremely rare for someone to actually find their true other half, but if the connection is exceptionally powerful it can create a magical force so strong it will attempt bring the two souls together and nothing can stop them from finding each other."

Placing his hand on my shoulder he looks at me with concern. Disbelief and apprehension races through me, "are you telling me my soulmate brought me here?"

Gently pulling his hand away from my shoulder he sighs. "I wish the answer were that simple. There's never been a documented record of a soulmate bond strong enough to pull someone through another dimension. Also, unless they were both born within the same dimension it most likely would not even be possible."

I do not miss the slight stress over the word unless, and can't stop my next question, "are you saying you think I was born in this dimension?" I cringe a little as I say the word dimension like it's a natural everyday topic while continuing to pinch myself to make sure I'm really awake.

He stares at me with amusement watching me pinch my arm, which thankfully he doesn't comment on before lightly shrugging his shoulders, "I cannot say for certain…perhaps, you can tell me a little about your parents? A parent's love for their child can also be strong enough to…

"No" I interrupt what he was about to say, "I never knew them. I've been alone for as long as I can remember, it could not possibly be due to them." I add bitterly.

I quickly move onto another question, anything to move the discussion away from my parents or lack thereof, "you said there hasn't been a documented case, what about undocumented?"

He smiles sadly, "It was a very long time ago and from a less than reliable source." He pauses for just a moment as a far-away look enters his eyes, "I promise to revisit my memories and see what truth I can find within them."

I try to remain calm about everything happening, but I just have to know one more thing, "will I know who he is, my… soulmate? Will he know me?" I immediately begin thinking of the man I mourned over last night, and I can feel tears building behind my eyes as I wait for his response.

Speaking softly, he answers. "Most people don't immediately recognize or acknowledge the connection they're feeling. Soulmates have a very human component requiring time for feelings to develop. It's not something you can force, however, once two souls come together the bond is unbreakable, it will remain forever filled with the purest love. The strongest magic we have within us all."

Watching me curiously he asks me a question I'm not sure I'm ready to answer. "Everly, do you think you know who your soulmate may be?"

I quickly look down hiding my eyes not wanting to take the risk of him using legilimency on me again. I decide to keep a certain name to myself for now. I shake my head no. He doesn't immediately say anything, and I know he can tell I'm lying. After a short time, he eventually replies, "we'll figure it all out… in time", which sounds more ominous than comforting to me.

I'm starting to feel incredibly tired, and my aching body is beginning to shake with the effort to remain up right. Seeing my exhaustion, he calls out for Madam Pomfrey, I watch a woman approach from the other end of the room, she's wearing a nurse's uniform right out of the Middle Ages complete with ankle length dress, white apron, and a nun like head covering.

She immediately begins speaking to Dumbledore in a scolding tone "Albus! can't you see this poor girl is exhausted and in no condition for lengthy visits? She's been in a coma for almost 5 days, you can't just expect her to be interrogated as soon as she awakens."

My exhaustion and pain forgotten I interrupt her. "Wait! Excuse me I've been in a coma for 5 DAYS!" My voice is starting to quiver with emotion, and I whisper, "what is happening to me?"

She pats my back and gently pushes me against the pillow. "Hush now child, you shouldn't be getting yourself worked up. Everything will be fine. For now, I'm giving you a calming drought and something to help you rest." She pulls out two bottles and hands them over for me to drink. I uncork the bottles and hesitantly sniff the contents. The pungent odors emanating from the small bottles cause me to wrinkle my nose in disgust. I look up at the stern expectant look on Madam Pomfrey's face and decide to gather my courage and quickly down the liquids but can't help the slight shiver of revulsion as the contents slide down my throat.

Dumbledore looking more than a little entertained by my display stands and places the chair against the wall. Turning back towards me his expression somber, "I promise we'll talk more, and I'll attempt to answer all your questions." Saying good-bye to Madam Pomfrey he inclines his head towards me and turns with a swish of his purple robes quietly exiting the room.

My mind is spinning, so many thoughts, so many questions. My eyes grow insanely heavy and I know the potions are starting to take effect. It doesn't stop the silent tears from gliding down my face as I think of him… my soulmate…at least who I believe him to be.