Half a Life Without You

Chapter 4: Sleeping Beauty

Severus's POV:

I slowly regain consciousness, becoming aware of the soothing touch of a warm cloth rubbing lightly against my cheek. The calm rhythmic motions quiet my hectic confusion from spiraling out of control. I resist the temptation to forcefully push myself awake, allowing my groggy brain time to adjust as the dense fog of sleep slowly lifts.

Once the haze enveloping me begins to clear, memories rapidly surge forth drowning me with their strength. Instantly, I remember with crystal clear clarity what happened and what I had done. I recall my feelings of triumph at seeing my enemies fall to the ground, but now… trepidation creeps over me as I consider the aftermath of my actions. What have I done? Was this regret? Guilt? Remorse? Emotions I would never have anticipated feeling after achieving victory over my tormentors. I just wanted it to stop, wanted to teach them a lesson…but at what cost?

The weightless caress of the cloth across my nose distracts from the heavy thoughts weighing on me. I'm curious and suspicious by the overly gentle administrations, obviously not Madam Pomfrey, she wouldn't have the patience. Her direct no-nonsense approach did not fit with the sensitive precautions my current caregiver applied over my bruised and tender nose. Careful to not reveal I'm awake, I peek covertly through my lashes trying to catch a glimpse of the stranger taking such tender care over me.

My breath catches as shock ripples over me, nothing prepares me for her. I couldn't have torn my eyes away if my life depended on it. Delicate almost angelic features hold me captive. It's her eyes that fascinate me the most, amber centers surrounded by a pale silvery blue gradually darkening into rings of the darkest blue. They are truly beautiful, almost appear to glow with an inner power.

Her long blonde hair just a shade darker than a winter snow is streaked with an array of golden hues. Cascading in waves over her shoulder it sweeps faintly against my hand as she continues to clean my face. Spellbound, I'm not sure how much time passes as I lay there studying her, unable to pull my eyes away. I notice how tiny she is curled next to me, and a wave of possessiveness and protectiveness sweeps over me…MINE.

Disbelief registers, I'm startled and worry over my reaction to this girl, this stranger. How dare she make me feel this way? Still, I feel an overwhelming urge to reach out and run my fingers through her hair and kiss her lips. NO! this must stop now! I scream at myself. I decide to 'wake up' needing to distance myself, not sure how much more I can bear her sweet touches without doing something I'll regret.

My voice comes out rough, "Who are you?' I demand. I watch her jump in surprise, the cloth slapping me in the face as she pulls away. I quickly grab her hands to make sure I'm not hit again; both her wrists are easily restrained within one of my hands. This only reminds me how tiny she is, and I want nothing more than to pull her close and protect her forever. Her eyes bore into mine; it feels like she can see right into my soul. In that moment, I want nothing more than to invite her into my soul… into my heart…Huh?! What the fuck is wrong with me? Snap out of it! Shaking myself I pull free of my dangerous thoughts, "who are you?" practically growling the question at her now.

She shakily stammers out her name, "Everly. I'm Everly". My first instinct is to tell her it's beautiful like her, Ugh, why am I such a fool? Frightened by these thoughts, I wrap the familiar cloak of disdain tightly around me, my invisible shield protecting me against unwanted feelings. An image of Lily walking away from me flickers through my mind, and I know if it can guard me against those deep wounds, it will keep her away as well.

"This hardly tells me who you are" I sneer and release my hold on her hands needing more distance between us.

I look over the room and remember my earlier worries, "will they recover?" I ask indifferently when I'm anything but indifferent. Holding my breath, I wait for her response.

"Yes, Madam Pomfrey thinks most of them will be better by morning," she replies.

"Pity" I respond with pretend displeasure while letting out a breath of relief.

A look of disbelief flashes across her face, "you would wish them dead or dying then?" she snaps accusingly at me.

Now I'm angry, who is she to judge me, "You do not get to judge me, you have no idea what they've put me through." I hiss menacingly. My anger quickly turns to sadness as I think about all those years of taunts, pranks, and then losing Lily to Potter.

I'm surprised when I feel a small hand lightly grab mine and hear her whisper. "I'm sorry. You're right I have no place to judge." Stunned by her compassion I can think of nothing to say.

She continues to stare into my eyes, and I feel my shield fall away, I'm helplessly fascinated with her. She leans closer and gently continues wiping my face, I silently watch her with confusion. "Who are you?" I whisper in wonderment. We both stare at each other transfixed, the air crackling with tension between us. What would happen if I kiss her? My thoughts are interrupted by Madam Pomfrey's entrance and the spell between us broken.

I wait impatiently for Madam Pomfrey to leave the Infirmary, she checks in on the others and finally I hear her quietly whisper, "Nox" darkness blankets the room. I rip the covers off and stand up, I won't be staying here over night. I may be glad I didn't kill the bastards, but no way do I trust them not to retaliate while I sleep. Madam Pomfrey will be upset in the morning when she discovers me missing, especially since she gave me a sleep tonic, which I secretly spit out when her back was turned. Although… right now I really don't care if I upset her, still feeling slightly pissed. She told Everly "I'll take care of young Severus", her idea of take care really needed some bloody work, she practically smacked the damn cloth onto my face rubbing away the rest of the blood, my poor nose still throbbed uncomfortably between my eyes as a result. The old witch could learn a few things from my sweet Everly…my Everly, could she be mine? I scoff at myself. What would a girl like that want with me?

Thinking of Everly, I look over at the privacy screen dividing our beds. My body moves under its own fruition and before I realize it, I'm standing over her. She looks like a princess from one of the muggle fairytales my mother used to read to me…Sleeping Beauty. I secretly wonder if she would awake if I kissed her soft rose lips. You're hardly prince charming in this story, more like the monster who captured her. I think humorlessly. Even with my last thought, I can't help myself and trace my fingertips across her cheek brushing her silky hair behind her ear.

Reluctantly, I pull away and place the screen between us once again. I battle against an inexplicable pull to be near her and force myself to walk away. I hesitate briefly as I reach the doors, looking back longingly to where I know she's sleeping before finally disappearing down the darkened corridor.