Record That

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN EVANGELION, NOR ANY OF THE SONGS! DON'T SUE ME!

Chapter 6: Transparency

Shinji remained silent for the most part as the group made their way through the facility. Listening in on what the adults were saying, as they tried to rationalize the absolute insanity that had been unfolding. Over the past half an hour or so, they came to different conclusions. Misato theorized that the reflection was most likely an alien, similar to that of the Angels.

Ritsuko disagreed with her, saying that they would've sensed its presence on their own scanners. Leading her to presume that it was some kind of malicious entity. Spawn from humanity to embody the feeling of suffering. Why else would it save Shinji and Misato? It was clearly just toying with them before it ate them. Surprisingly, Shinji was on her side with this one.

Meanwhile, Gendo had also remained quiet for the most part. Throwing in a point or two but keeping to himself. Much like his son. His theory was that it was possibly all psychological warfare launched by the Angels. Meant to horrify Shinji and lead him to his eventual death. Though, the way it knew about SEELE, terrified Rei, and showed Shinji visions of Asuka. A girl whom he had never even met before. Ran contrary to all their theories.

This reflection was too unique and unpredictable to pin its origins down, or was it? While the ladies argued about the behavior of it. Gendo started thinking about that vision of Asuka and Shinji. Something about that in particular stood out to him. Soon, the group reached an escalator that led to the EVA cages.

As the group finally stood still after walking for what felt like hours. Gendo turned to Shinji, Ritsuko and Misato to address them about any other pieces of information he could gather. First, he turned to Misato.

"You said that this reflection saved you two from the N2 mine?" He asked.

"Yes, but it also teleported the Angel right in front of us as well. And it did so right after I stopped the car. It told Shinji to make sure we kept moving. So it punished us, and most importantly him. For no reason, other than a show of power."

Misato's tone was angry, but professional. She also placed her hand on Shinji's shoulder when she spoke. Emphasizing how much pain he had been going through. The boy appreciated her subtle gesture, though that still didn't stop the cold gaze of his father from staring right into his soul.

"Perhaps it wanted you both to avoid the Angel." Ritsuko suggested.

"What do you mean?" Misato asked.

"Well, Shinji, did it show any attachment to Misato? It is a reflection of you."

There was a bit of awkward silence. As Shinji and Misato looked between each other, red in the cheeks.

"Sorry," Ritsuko apologized and laughed a little, "I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was, did it give off any real signs that it wanted to harm her?"

Shinji still remained silent, contemplating the previous events.

"It did occasionally speak here and there for him. Its voice was so similar I thought it was Shinji. Though I don't think that would count as having an attachment to me in any way." Misato spoke up first before Shinji. Giving him some more time to think.

"She wasn't talking to you, Commander. Answer the question, Shinji." Gendo commanded.

The boy froze, now all the eyes were on him. He couldn't really tell how to phrase it, but thanks to the time given to him, he knew what needed to be said. Fortunately, he remained conscious for this one.

"I felt like it did, somewhat. It felt like it was watching us with a familiarity to our situation. It even told me to 'take notes' on certain things. Like Asuka for instance."

His voice was soft and timid. He didn't like people looking at him like this. Shinji felt like putting his head down, but he could tell his father would've been disappointed in him if he did. So, all the boy could do was move his eyes around, focusing on different things. Like the massive frozen hand behind the glass next to them.

Shinji was in awe of it but was quickly turned away by Misato. Who pulled him towards her. When he looked up at her, Misato's face was that of concern. He was seeing something that he really shouldn't, it exposed a weakness in their system. Which could lead to him being even more scared of what was coming next.

"That's for later. Now are you sure about the reflection and its feelings about me?"

Shinji nodded. Causing Misato to smile.

"Well, that's one way to be admired. You wouldn't happen to be feeling that way about me right now would you? I mean, it is your reflection after all." She teased him..

Shinji's cheeks went red, but he smiled a bit too.

"Oh grow up." Ritsuko said, also kind of smiling.

Gendo did not find it funny. When Shinji met his gaze, he went right back to looking away. When the four reached the top of the escalator, Gendo stepped to the side.

"You two go on ahead, I need to talk to Shinji about something in private." Gendo said.

The two ladies looked at each other for a minute, though eventually agreed. Shinji was immediately tense. Since when did his father ever want to talk to him about anything? As Misato and Ritsuko walked away, Gendo turned to Shinji, and took his glasses off. His stone hard gaze soon turned to disappointment and sadness.

It was still similar to his previous look, so Shinji couldn't tell just how different his father was now. At least, until he spoke.

"Tell me, Shinji. What songs did the reflection play again?"

His voice was softer, less commanding and more human. Because of that, Shinji took longer to answer, but Gendo was patient with him.

"He….He…..here." Shinji reached into his bag and pulled out the tapes he had. "He played the first song on this one and the Beatles song 'Come Together.""

Shinji pointed to the first song on the case with the flower on it. Gendo took them and analyzed them. Metallica's Master of Puppets, Green Day's Dookie, Radiohead's Pablo Honey and of course the Beatles's Abbey Road. They didn't really have any connection, outside of they were all rock and roll. He pocketed them and then looked back to his son.

"Shinji, can you repeat the lyrics to these songs again?" Gendo asked.

"Um, sure, but I might mess them up." Shinji responded.

"That's alright, just do your best."

Shinji never thought he'd hear those words come out of his father's mouth. He sang to him the lyrics from Come Together. After all, the only English he knew right now were words from that song. So, it was pretty easy for him.

Gendo listened to the lyrics very carefully. When it was done, there was a brief silence between the two.

"Shinji, when you had those visions of you and Ms. Langley. Where were you?"

The boy couldn't really answer that. It was all so blurry. After a while of silence, Gendo decided to rephrase the question.

"Was there anything that stood out to you? Like what shape you two were in, or maybe even a sight or a smell."

It was with that that Shinji started to remember hearing the faint sound of waves, and the smell of salt water.

"Beach…..I was on a Beach."

Gendo squatted down so he could look his son in the eyes for this one. Shinji was now even more nervous by his intense stare, which he noticed. So, Gendo put his hand on his shoulder and tried to ease his expression.

"Do you remember a color?"

The question was odd to Shinji, but he tried his best to answer. Especially with how personal his father was getting. With his best foot forward, Shinji gave a response.

"Red…..wait." Waves, the crashing of those waves played in his head. He saw them when Asuka was choking him. Her hair, the water, her eyes. No, not her eyes, someone or something else's eyes. They were all "...Red. Everything was red, even the water."

Shinji had been looking down at his thoughts, but he quickly looked up when he felt his father's grip on him tighten. Gendo was also looking down, trying to hide his face. He then suddenly stood up, making Shinji step back a little. Gendo put back on his glasses, his stone-cold gaze returning as well.

"Do not tell anyone else about this, understood?"

Shinji nodded his head, but that wasn't enough. Gendo got close to Shinji, making sure to look as intimidating as possible.

"What was said here is never to spread to others! It's punishable by a month in the brig and immediate termination from NERV! You will never set foot in this city again! So keep your mouth shut! Understood!?"

"Yes!" Shinji shouted in fear.

After another brief silence, Gendo eased a bit and held out his hand.

"Let me see your SDAT player."

Shinji quickly gave it to him.

"You said it played the first song off of Pablo Honey to you on the train, right?"

Shinji nodded, not knowing entirely what he meant until he pulled out the cassette box.

"Speak up, boy." Silence as Gendo loaded the tape in. "People love to talk, no one likes a mute."

"Yes, sir." Shinji responded.

"Good. Follow."

Gendo began walking towards where Ritsuko and Misato were headed. Shinji slowly followed behind him.

Up ahead of them, the two ladies were waiting at the dock. With a boat that was ready to help take them to the EVA cages. Both were growing a little impatient, especially Misato.

"God damn it, what's taking them so long?" Misato said.

"It's their first time talking to each other after nearly three years. I'm sure they have a lot to discuss." Ritsuko said that in a sarcastic way. Misato didn't like that.

"Shinji has been going through Hell, what he doesn't need right now is a lecture from his estranged father." Misato responded.

"Like you were doing any better? Flirting with a kid like that."

"It was all in good fun and you know it."

"I know that, but you're talking to a young impressionable boy. One that's been harassed by something out of this world. You never know what saying something like that will do to his mind."

"Oh, you're no fun." Misato responded, but she had a point. "You're just jealous because now Gendo has someone else for him to focus his attention on."

Ritsuko shot Misato an angry look. One that Misato simply smiled at in a playful teasing way. The doctor took the hint that it wasn't made as a personal attack. Hell, maybe she didn't even really know about her and Gendo. After a bit of silence, Misato tried to ease the tension.

"I know it's an alien. How much do you want to bet?"

Another brief silence.

"30,000, and you buy me dinner." Ritsuko said, smirking.

"Haha, deal." Misato said, jovially.

They then shook on it.

"Can't wait for my free meal." Misato said.

Ritsuko laughed a little on that one. She quickly straightened herself out when Gendo and Shinji showed up. They then noticed that Gendo was listening to Shinji's music tapes. He quickly took off the headphones when he got closer.

"The lyrics in these songs are too specific. The reflection might be trying to tell us something."

"Like what? It's true intentions?" Ritsuko asked.

"Maybe it's a connection to Shinji." Misato added.

"Perhaps, give it a listen later." Gendo then handed the tape player to Ritsuko.

Shinji watched, wondering if he'd ever get his tape player back. The group then got in the boat and traveled across the purple-colored water. Until they eventually reached another dock next to what looked like a large floating warehouse. The group got out of the boat and went inside, where it was pitch black.

"What's going on? I can't see anything." Shinji said.

"Lights." Gendo commanded.

The lights flashed on, revealing a massive robotic face. Shinji screamed and nearly tripped. They were standing on a massive floating platform in front of the massive machine.

"It's…it's a robot!" Shinji said.

"Evangelion Unit-01, NERV's most powerful weapon." Gendo responded.

"You won't find this in any of NERV's reports or manuals. As far this goes, this is our most top-secret project." Misato added.

"It's what we're going to use to destroy that Angel once and for all." Ritsuko helped with finishing the description.

"Whoa." Shinji was truly awe struck.

But then, a feeling came upon him. Something sickening that made him feel numb all over. It was confirmed when his father turned to him and then said.

"You will pilot it."

Shinji's entire body felt cold. He couldn't move, not even to turn his head in order to face his father or try to move his legs back in surprise. All he could do was stand there, looking at the robot. He didn't hear the adults telling him it was going to be alright. That he'll be instructed and guided through the process.

He spaced out and began to see things. Events, a place similar to this one, and he was unhappy. It took a good couple of seconds before the adults realized what happened. Gendo walked in front of Shinji, knocking him out of his numbed state. The sound of Gendo's slap on his own child's face could be heard across the compound. Misato and Ritsuko almost felt like running over to the boy's side, yet they understood what Gendo was doing when they saw the kid's reaction. Shinji then looked up to his father, who was not pleased with him.

"I understand that this is a lot to take in, but you must make it clear that you are listening. Do you remember anything we have just said?"

Shinji stood there, with a tear running down his face.

"I….I….remember this."

His words caused a silence.

"What?" Misato asked.

"I….I've been here before. Or, maybe I haven't, and I've seen this event happening. I…can't really tell." Shinji responded.

"How much do you remember? You didn't seem to know about the EVA." Ritsuko questioned.

"I didn't, but then I felt this feeling flow over me. Followed by visions and familiar sounds and words." Shinji pointed to Misato. "You were about to try one last time to convince everyone not to make me do this." Shinji then pointed to Ritsuko. "Then you put up an argument about how I'm literally the only one for the job."

Shinji then turned to his father.

"Then, you and I shout at each other. You don't listen to me, but I still refuse to be the pilot."

The boy then looked back at the robot.

"There is no one else who can do this. Yet, I've never felt such a need to run away. I'm…I'm going to die."

"Shinji, I'm so sorry." Misato said. Not knowing how to take this in, but through Shinji's pained expression. She couldn't help, but feel sympathy.

She meant that, sincerely, but Shinji rejected it. Her mind was eventually changed by Ritsuko in the end, if she truly cared for him. Then she would've stood up for him against his father.

"Please, I understand that you're in pain, but you need to see the big picture here." Ritsuko was about to explain, but she was soon interrupted.

"I already know, I told you that I know I'm the only one who can do this, but it doesn't make it any easier." He said, looking at her with annoyance.

"Then stop complaining and get it over with." Gendo said.

Shinji didn't even bother with looking at him. He'd grown tired of his father's cold gaze. He wanted something to change. Not to fall into the same motions yet again. The same motions that he had never experienced. He knew he wasn't smart enough to see this coming. So, why was he feeling this now?

Shinji stayed silent, until Misato came over to him. She placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Shinji, please, you're so very special."

He went wide eyed, Misato realized that she said something wrong.

"She's right, you're more special than you realize." Ritsuko said.

"Indeed, the right kind of special. The kind that is of use for the entire world. Not unless you're a coward. Prove that you're special, Shinji."

Gendo's words would've intimidated, and maybe even inspired him, but now. Shinji wanted to strangle him. His hands were shaking, he started twitching, he felt like everyone was watching him again. They were watching the special one. The one they wanted to die.

"Shinji, ple-"

The boy pushed Misato away and began backing away from them. Though he didn't say anything. There was nothing left to say.

"Enough of this display of self-pity, Shinji. Will you pilot the Eva or not?" Gendo asked.

This time, Shinji did look his father in the eyes. And for once, for the slightest moment, he saw fear. For the boy gave his father the look of one who sees people for who they are.

"Just bring out Rei already."

Ritsuko's jaw nearly hit the floor. Misato didn't fully know what was happening, but she could see the shy, polite boy she met in town. Start to mutate into a mad, broken, observer of the truth. And it shook her to her core. Gendo only showed weakness for a second, but he was back to his brick wall persona in an instant.

He took up Shinji's challenge, and turned to the door. As he walked over, however, the mechanics and even the two ladies. Expected him to give orders to start setting up EVA Unit 01 to fit Rei's parameters. Instead, he simply walked over to the door in silence. Once he opened it, he nodded to the doctors down the hall surrounding Rei, who was still laying on her gurney.

The sounds of wheels and footsteps moving down the hallway soon followed. As the doctors and Rei emerged onto the platform, an aura of tension began to fill the room. No one knew what was going to happen next. Shinji, however, knew that Rei would recognize him. From what he had seen, she was in the town from before. She knew something, she could tell what was happening to him.

Gendo stayed by the gurney the whole way over to where Ritsuko, Misato and Shinji were standing. Once there, he turned to the girl.

"Rei, do you sense anything?" Gendo asked.

The heavily bandaged girl raised her head on body as best she could. Then, when she looked at Shinji, she began to cry.

"Yes, but….it's not him. It surrounds him. It….knows who we are…..and….and….no, please…..no…."

Rei suddenly fainted, the doctors took her to make sure she wasn't slipping into a coma. As they pulled Rei aside, all eyes soon fell upon Shinji again. The boy now felt like he had just made a huge mistake. As if he now just alienated everyone who could've helped him. Now, he was alone, and now he knew what was going on.

This was it, he was going to die. Everyone watched Shinji's face turn to one of acceptance and fear, as he turned away. Misato cried for Shinji to come back. Ritsuko joined Misato in trying to stop him. While Gendo watched with cold, curious, calculating eyes. Shinji walked away slowly, giving the two ladies ample time to catch up.

Except, when they were about to put their hands upon his shoulders. In the blink of an eye, they were suddenly behind Gendo. When they reoriented themselves. They couldn't tell what just happened. Even Gendo looked confused, raising an eyebrow at the two suddenly being by his side.

"No! It's coming back!" Misato cried.

Shinji then stopped when he reached the nearby wall. He then turned around to look the adults in the eyes. It felt like this would be the last time he would be able to do this. Misato, in response, ran as fast as she could towards him. She was right about to touch him when the same thing happened again.

She tripped and fell to the floor. When she started to get up with some help from Ritsuko, she looked at Shinji. Who was putting a hand up, as if he was waving goodbye.

"No! Stop! What do you want with him!?" Misato shouted.

Her voice echoed, then came to a stop. Everyone froze, but not Shinji. He looked around, wondering if they could still see, or if time had just stopped. As he did, he began to hear laughter, his own laughter, echoing through the chamber.

The sound made him place his back firmly against the wall and slide down, curling up into the fetal position.

'Get up!' The reflection then commanded.

Shinji instinctively stood up, as if against his own will. Its voice sounded ethereal. Almost as if he heard through his ears and minds. The boy began to look around, trying to find a place where he could see his mirror image. The ground was not reflective, nor were any of the walls. Then, he noticed the purple liquid.

'Go ahead.'

Shinji was then suddenly standing at the edge of the platform. In the liquid, he saw the alternate version of himself. The boy was shivering, slumped over and scared. While the reflection was calm, had his hands in his pockets, though not smiling ear to ear. Despite laughing earlier, it didn't look as maniacally happy as it was before. All it had was a smirk.

The two stared at each other for a little bit in silence, taking each other in.

'What's wrong?' The reflection asked, mockingly.

"Just get it over with." Shinji said, softly.

'Why should I?'

"Because."

Silence.

'Because, what?' It asked, somewhat annoyed.

"Just because. Just do it. I know you want to."

'I do. I'd love to see your entrails spread out for everyone to see. To skin you alive and then leave you to die later on. Or, and this one is my favorite, dissolve you down to nothing but a puddle. You'll still be alive, still be able to see everyone going about their lives. While you're nothing but a stain on the floor, beautiful isn't it?'

"Then just do it already."

The reflection stepped back a bit, it was a bit surprising. Shinji was, in the end, fearless, accepting his fate.

'Alright then, how about you get in the robot.'

This made Shinji shiver.

"Please, no, anything but that."

'Come on, I allowed you to see what would happen earlier. I thought it might help you accept the inevitable.'

"Can't….can't the inevitable be changed?" Shinji began to cry.

'We don't get to choose what fate has in store for us.'

"But you do!" Shinji then shouted. "You've been messing with everything! Why!?"

The reflection began to laugh again.

'Because.'

Shinji suddenly felt frustrated.

"Why are you doing this to me? Why are you showing me all of this!? Why do you only show me bits and pieces!? WHY DON'T YOU GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT!?"

Those last words really echoed. It went on for what felt like minutes, and it was so loud. Shinji's ears even began to bleed. He did not cover them, he was too busy staring at his reflection. Who watched him back with that same sly smile. It waited until the echoing finally faded away.

'Because it's funny, and you deserve it.'

The reflection began walking forward, seemingly into the pool, but in reverse.

'Because it will make you suffer even more.'

The reflection then emerged out of the pool and began to walk onto the platform. Shinji backed away from it, terrified.

'Because showing you all of it at once, will break your mind. Then, I'll have nothing to play with.'

The reflection had a big smile on that one. Even spreading out his arms to the side, as if he was showing off his power. Shinji just continued to back up closer to the robot. Which the reflection then stopped to look at. He stared at it for a couple seconds, and then said softly.

'And finally, because if I got in the EVA, the world would end.'

It was fearful, yet in a mature way. No shaking, no stuttering or scratchy voice, it was as if it was grown up and understanding of its place in this world, unlike Shinji. It then turned back to the boy.

'I've answered your questions. Now, get in the robot.'

Shinji looked away.

"No."

'Enough is enough, Shinji.'

"I don't care! I'm sick of the pain! I'm tired of all this!"

The reflection's look softened only a little.

'Pain is inevitable, but depending on how you proceed. Can help make it hurt less. Besides, you don't know what pain truly is yet.'

Shinji didn't care, despite understanding what he meant. All he wanted was for it to go away.

"Stop! Just stop! Either kill me or go away!"

'Get. In. The. Robot.'

It didn't matter how etherial and commanding the reflection made his voice. Shinji didn't want to listen.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" He closed his eyes and screamed.

Shinji's scream echoed, but normally this time. As he opened his eyes, he noticed that everyone wasn't frozen anymore. They were now more surprised, because in the blink of an eye. Shinji just moved from the wall back to the platform again and when Shinji and Misato locked eyes. She thought she saw something else.

"Shinji, what…what happened?" Misato asked.

The boy was a bit confused at first, then the room started to shake. It was an explosion caused by the Angel.

"It's here." Gendo said. "Enough is enough, Shinji. Are you…wait."

Gendo also noticed something. He approached slowly forward to get a better look. And when he did, he thought he saw an outline surrounding Shinji. Everyone watched with bated breath, the situation was tense beyond anything anyone had ever experienced. The room was surprisingly very silent, so they could all just barely hear something whisper into Shinji's ear.

"Final time I'm asking you this. Get in the EVA."

The voice was horrifying, and Gendo certainly recognized it. His own son's voice, that sounded just a little off.

"Make me." Shinji said back.

Another explosion shook the building. Above them, a steel support rail broke and came falling towards the adults and Rei. Right as it was about to hit them, it stopped in mid air. Everyone slowly came out of their braced positions, and watched it go back up and be repaired as if nothing had happened.

"You amaze me, Shinji." The reflection said, it was at a normal volume, but everyone could still hear it. "Even when the world is ending all around you, when people's lives are in danger. You continue to be as stubborn as a termite."

All eyes were back on Shinji, all eyes watched as the reflection walked out of Shinji. A true mirror reflection of the fourteen year old. It watched as everyone gasped and stumbled backwards, their mouths and eyes wide open. Even Gendo was slightly surprised.

The reflection smirked at them, then calmly turned around slowly to Shinji.

"Alright, you'll get your wish."

The reflection's left hand moved fast to Shinji's neck. It lifted him up like it was nothing. The boy tried to resist, wrapping his hand on the reflection's arms and squeezing on instinct. Except, the reflection's skin didn't even move. It felt like trying to move a steel beam and the reflection laughed at Shinji putting up resistance. Especially after he had wished for death.

The reflection didn't say anything to Shinji in his last moments of consciousness. Though, it did start to cry. Then, the world went black for Shinji. He felt like he was falling into an endless abyss.

Hey, I didn't expect this one to be done so quickly, but thanks to your friendly reviews I felt like I just had too. Traffic Stats isn't working for me, for some reason, so I can't tell if you guys are reading this or not.

If you can, leave a review. It can be a bad one, criticism is a good thing. Though please don't leave racist ones, because for some reason I got one of those. And from a guy who claimed was in the KKK. I'm pretty sure it was just a troll, because the best part was when I checked his page. All he had written was Harry Potter fan fiction, back in 2006.

So yeah, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. And I hope I made your day a little brighter.