As It Is Written
Peter looked at the woman. She was beautiful, young and blond. Her hair was in a half up done bun while the rest fell past her shoulders. She wore a sleeveless white dress with a pale blue halter-top square collar that had a aqua colored crystal that rested just above her collarbone. She also wore a high waisted skirt with a purple sash around her waist. For accessories, Peter noticed that she wore small silver earrings and pale bracers on her wrists. This is the woman that we are up against? Peter thought. Huh, I think I have more bad luck with blondes than good. "Locked away by her cruel father," Jinn began, "Salem was a girl who desired one thing: Freedom."
"Oh, so we're doing one of these?" Peter asked as he looked around the crowded tower room. He couldn't see much because it wasn't what Jinn was telling him (and presumably the others) but what he could see looked bare. Peter watched as the sad woman continously stared out the window of her tower. She sighed and began walking towards Peter, ultimately passing through him as if he were an apparition.
"She lived during a time when kings and their kingdoms were plentiful. When men and women were capable of greatness, and when magic was a gift from the gods that all could wield." Peter watched as Salem sat at her little desk and sighed before opening her palms and allowing colorful orbs to dance around her hands. "And yet, there she sat in her tower." suddenly the room and everything in it poofed into smoke. The smoke began to adjust itself and made a new image. Peter was outside the tower again and he could see all the mountains and the grass, but now he could see someone new. Someone who looked like a warrior. The warrior was tall, he had medium length, messy brown hair and wore a green tunic. Over his tunic and 'trousers,' as Peter was certain they'd be called in medieval Remnant, the man wore many different pieces of armor. He looked like a regualr knight. Though he didn't have a sword, instead he had a staff with a large green gem at the top. "Until one day, a legendary hero came to brave the challenge within the towers walls." Jinn continued.
"What's the challenge? Deliver the pizza within 30 minutes or it's free?" Peter joked, "LOOK OUT FOR THE HEDGE MAZE! A crazy guy with an axe will hobble after ya!"
"The people of the lands knew him, as Ozma." Jinn declared, almost as if waiting for a gasp from her audience.
Peter slumped his shoulders before rubbing his temples in frustration, "Oh, crap." he groaned, "Hey, if I can guess what happens can we call this quits now?" The image of Ozma smiled and he began walking towards the castle, again walking through Peter as if he was an apparition.
"Unlike those who had come before," Jinn continued, completely ignoring Peter, "this warrior did not fight for the prize of the young maiden's hand. He fought only for righteousness." As she said this, Peter could see dozens of unnamed knights die as they try to reach the giant castle. "And his pure heart and courageous soul, prevailed."
Again, the image turned to smoke and soon Peter was back inside the castle. "No yeah, just ignore me, that's cool." Peter watched as Ozma defeated hordes upon hordes of evil looking knights. Like, they had on knights armor, but Peter was more than ninety percent certain that the glowing red eyes meant they weren't human. Finally, Ozma kicked down the door that led to Salem's room leading the...princess(?) to stand up and gasp in shock. "I'm sorry Ozma, but you're princess is in another castle." Peter chuckled as he did a Toad impersonation.
In a matter of seconds, multiple images flashed by that depicted Ozma and Salem fought through hordes of the black knights with magic. "They escaped the wretched fortress." Jinn explained as the scenery again changed to the field just outside the castle where now Ozma and Salem stood, both out of breath, "And yet, something bound them together. Ozma had been ready to give his life for justice countless times. But now saw a woman worth saving it for." Peter smiled slightly at the two figures in front of him, "And Salem, to her surprise, found her freedom not in the outside world she yearned for, but in in the eyes of the man who saved her."
"BOOO!" Peter shouted, "That's so cliché. I was expecting Shrek, but you gave me Cinderella mixed with Tangled." he groaned, "I think I found the root of the problem, they rushed into a relationship without getting to know each other first."
"So, where should we go now?" the ethereal image of Salem asked.
"Wherever you'd like." Ozma replied with a smile.
Peter nearly did a spit take...with air I guess? Kinda pushing the joke. Shut up! "Holy crap!" Peter shouted as he gripped the sides of his mask, "Is that Jen Taylor?" he asked in realization, "Holy crap! Cortana is the villain? HAHAHAHA! First Halo 5, now this? That's hilarious!" Oh yeah...I guess he would recognize voice actors, huh? Jen Taylor's voice is impossible not to recognize. It's so soothing, perfect for villain or ally.
"The two fell deeply in love with each other." Jinn continued again as the image began to disappear into smoke, "They planned adventures around the world and lived happily ever after." Peter could practically feel the smile Jinn undoubtedly was giving and he was waiting for the 'but'. "Or at least...that's what should have been." Ah, there it is. Peter thought. The image changed to a small room with a queen sized bed and Salem kneeling down as Ozma lied in rest, presumably very sick. "Ozma, the infallible hero of legend, fell ill. Where monsters and swords failed, a simple illness prevailed." Peter watched as Salem wept over the loss of her lover while she gripped his staff at the foot of his bed. Bow chicka-- Stop it.
"How could the gods let this happen?" Salem cried out.
"The gods," Jinn echoed, as two orbs began floating in the air around each other. One that was black with a purple hue and the other shining bright like the sun. "Brothers of light and darkness: creation and destruction. Salem prayed they would see the injustice that had befallen her love, and make things right." The scene changed once again and now Peter stood out in a field along a path that led to a large set of stairs. These stairs had a small area of worship where people would come and bring their offerings to the gods and placed them at the totem. Peter also noticed the stairs traveled far up the mountain. "The domain of light was a sacred place. It was here the elder brother dwelled by his fountain of life and creation." Peter watched as Salem set down a bouquet of flowers and then began to trudge the long walk up the mountain. "It was here, where mankind...would fall to ruin."
Peter looked around the area, swearing that he heard menacing music begin to play. Looking at the fountain he saw it wasn't much of a fountain, but instead like a lake of sorts, but the water seemed so high up it was almost as if it should be spilling over, but it didn't. Around the 'fountain' was the wild grass that Peter noticed earlier, but it looked so gold up here, as if it were special in some way. "Gotta admit, for someone who's basically just a magic version of Google, you've got some high quality production value here." The wind blew as Salem descended into the small crater area within the mountain. Leaves began to dance in the wind before a bright light shone and formed the image of what looked to be a golden man with antlers on his head. "Pfft." Peter snorted at the sight of the figure. "Is that the god? Please tell me that's the god, I need something to laugh at today."
"Please..." Salem cried as she fell to her knees in front of the figure, clutching Ozma's staff. "Please bring him back to me!"
"I understand your pain." spoke the god, "But you demand of me, that which I cannot make so." Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. "Life and death...they have a delicate balance." he explained, gesture his hands like he was weighing something. Salem could only look on with an expression that was both sad, and bewildered.
"So...you won't do it then?" Salem asked "No, that's not fair! THAT'S NOT FAIR!" she yelled, her voice echoing down the mountain and birds flying away from their perches.
"Let. Him. Rest." the god said sternly before suddenly disappearing, making it clear that was his final word.
Salem looked around the domain before frowning, "No."
Suddenly the domain disappeared into smoke once again and in its place was a new area. It was dark and foreboding. It mirrored the previous area in every way. The entrance to the mountain was on the opposite side, there was nothing but darkness, and everything looked as if it were dying. "The God of Darkness," Jinn said with a menacing tone, "None dared entered his home, as men knew what monstrosities emerged from his blackened pools of anhilation." Salem swallowed a lump in her throat before walking up the mountain. "And so you must understand the dark lord's surprise when he found a low woman kneeling before him." From the darkened pool of black guck that Salem kneeled before emerged another being. Again, looking human like but he was all purple and had what looked to be ram horns. Salem looked around her and saw the grimm come out of the pools and approach her, as well as the god which crawled towards her like them. "Salem understood it well." Jinn continued, "She told him of her loss and professed that only he could answer her prayers. All while careful to make no mention of his elder."
"Rise child." the dark god commanded with a soft tone, "And let your faith in me be rewarded." The dark god held out his hand and a purple orb appeared in front of him. Soon it dissolved and Ozma popped from it. Salem was quick to rush over to him and hold him in her arms. After maybe half a minute, Ozma's eyes shot open and he took in a sharp breath in surprise.
"Ah, run zombie! Bang, bang, bang!" Peter laughed.
"Where am I!? Where is this!? Where am I!?" Ozma asked in a panic.
"Me, when I accidently take a train to Jersey." Peter laughed again, "I know this is like, vital information, but I just can't help to riff on it."
"It's okay." Salem assured, "Everything is going to be okay."
Suddenly there was a loud boom, like lighting had just struck nearby. There, at the foot of the Dark God's domain stood the God of Light, his brother. "What have you done?" he asked with a very upset tone.
The Dark God scoffed, "I have done what I please, brother. You may bask in the powers of creation but you do not OWN them."
The God of Light shook his head and gestured to Salem and Ozma, "This, is not creation."
"Do not lecture me!" the younger brother retorted, his voice becoming distorted and menacing. Through his anger the grimm began to approach the elder of the two gods, as if they were preparing to fight.
"I will do what I must to maintain order." The elder brother held his hand up and pointed to Ozma. The hero began to glow a golden hue before disintegrating into ash.
"Woah, just like one of my clones." Peter held up his hand but didn't even bother to high five it himself, "See. Even I realized that was in bad taste."
"No!" Salem yelled, "What did you do!? Bring him back!"
The younger brother growled in annoyance, "You dare enter my domain and show such disrespect!?" he waved his hand in the air and Ozma magically appeared once more.
The elder, trying to keep his composure, approached his younger brother, "I am just trying to abide by the rules WE agreed upon!" he spat out with frustration.
"Rules I see work ever in your favor." the Dark God transformed, becoming something akin to a dragon of sorts. The grimm took that as their signal to attack and charged after the elder brother. The God of Light stood still until the grimm were within close proximity and then transformed himself. A bright light shone, his body becoming to powerful for the creatures of darkness. When the light faded Peter could see the god had transformed into a serpent dragon.
"I know we have our differences. But I have not come here with the aim to control you." the older brother proclaimed, his voice deeper and more menacing than before. "The same, cannot be said for her." he warned, "This woman came to you only after I denied her pleas. Pleas that would have disrupted the balance that you and I had created. Together."
The younger brother looked down before nodding, "Then it seems I owe you an apology. Allow me to correct my mistake!" The brother then took in a deep breath before sending out a heavy purple flame that disintegrated Ozma almost instantly, sending his ashes to float away with the wind.
"Y-You monsters!" Salem shouted, "Give him back to me! GIVE HIM BACK!!" Salem held her hands out as electricity shot from her hands, like she was preparing a magic spell of sorts. The God of Light, not liking what he saw, dashed forward. And within a matter of seconds it was all over.
...
Or...so Peter thought. He realized he was back at the Domain of Light. He rubbed his head in confusion before jumping in surprise as Salem fell from the sky and into the water. Soon she got up and began coughing out the water like she had just barely prevented herself from drowning. "When you first came to me, I did pity you." the God of Light said with a calming tone again as he and his brother stood side by side, "But it is clear now that your selfishness and arrogance have led you astray."
Salem had a bewildered expression, like she was surprised to still be alive. She stood up and looked at her hands and saw they were glowing, "What did you do to me?" she asked.
"I have made you...immortal." the god replied causing Peter to try and throw a rock in frustration only to remember everything was an illusion.
"Some god, what ever happened to smiting people? 'No, let's make her immortal, I'm sure that will never have any negative repercussions'." Peter taunted.
"Immortal?" Salem asked, confused as to what the god meant.
"You cannot die." replied the younger brother. Though Peter couldn't see it, he was almost certain the god was grinning. "You can no longer be with your beloved."
"So long as this world turns, you shall walk its face." the brothers said in unison. Salem could only give a saddened expression. Before she knew it, the gods had gone, and she was at the bottom of the mountain.
"Salem was a prisoner once again." Jinn continued as the image disappeared, "Her fruitless attempts to reunite with Ozma eventually became nothing more than acts of spite and defiance against the gods." Jinn began showing what seemed to be multiple suicide attempts by Salem, but in the end she got back up, perfectly fine. "But perhaps the gods weren't as powerful as they seemed. After all she deceived them, had them turn against each other. They...were fallible. If she pinned humanity against Light and Darkness she could lift her curse. Or, at the very least, she could make them suffer." Peter looked outside the window, where once a small village sat now stood a massive kingdom, Lots of time has passed since Salem had been cursed. he thought.
"Salem traveled from one kingdom to another, telling tales of how she 'stole immortality' from the gods. Welcomed any swordsman to strike her down, and demonstrated her powers." Jinn showed multiple instances of Salem going from kingdom to kingdom across Remnant convincing lords, kings and queens and their people to join her cause. "With the kings and queens in awe, she pulled them deeper into her scheme. She painted them pictures of a time when they would no longer have to watch their loved ones wither and die. When they could claim the powers of their creators themselves and in turn perfect their design. All they needed to do, was get rid of their old masters." The image quickly faded showing a massive battle between the humans and the two gods. "The gods had hoped that Salem would learn from her eternal curse. And she did." Jinn had a slight chuckle at the end of her sentence.
Peter watched as the great leaders of Remnant at the time approached the God of Light like it was nothing, defiantly standing before the devine. "She learned that the hearts of men are easily swayed." Jinn chuckled again. The battle raged on, eventually leading to the humans using magic. But unlike Salem had planned, the gods were too powerful. The God of Darkness harnessed all the magic thrown at them...and snapped it back to the humans. There was enough energy to spread the world. And every human, except for Salem, vanished into a pile of ash.
Peter could only stare with wide eyes as he just witnessed a mass extermination on a global scale. It was like...they weren't even there to begin with. The next thing Peter knew, the gods left the world, claiming Salem would have to reflect on her actions. Alone. Forever. As they left the moon blew up and stayed forever broken. "Oooooooh. That's what happened to the moon. Man, I was waaaay off." Peter said with a nod.
"Once again, Salem was alone." Jinn continued, "She cursed the gods, she cursed the universe. Everything but herself." Jinn showed images of Salem walking across the now barren hellscape of Remnant, which was overrun by the grimm. "She wandered the face of the planet, awaiting a death that will never come. Until fate led her back to the land of darkness." 'Fate.' Peter thought, using heavy quotations. "This was it, this had to be it. The Brother's Grimm, the pools of black that continued to give rise to horrific nightmares. If the Fountain of Light granted immortality, then surely the Pools of Grimm would take it away." Peter swallowed a lump in his throat as he watched Salem jump into the blackened pool. "She...was wrong." Salem's body began jerking side to side within the pool, with nowhere to go she eventually came up, but looked...different. "This pool of evil could not destroy a being of infinite life. Instead, it created a being of infinite life with a desire for pure destruction." Peter looked at Salem now and saw her extremely paled skin, her now snow white hair and glowing blood red eyes. "And in time, she would find her adversary."
Peter looked around, everything was white. It was if they were nowhere. All he could see was a green figure lying on the ground. After some time the figure stood up and Peter saw it was Ozma. Ozma walked, and he walked, and he walked, it was as if he walked for a lifetime before he was confronted by the God of Light. "Ozma." the god called out,
"W-Where am I?" Ozma asked.
"I'm afraid we are between realms. You see, a tragedy has befallen your home at the hands of my brother." the god explained, "We have chosen to depart from this world, but in our absence I would like to offer you the chance to return to it."
Ozma shook his head in confusion, "I...don't understand."
"Mankind is no more. Yet, your world remains. And in time your kind will grow to roam its face once again. However, without our presence it will be but a fraction of what it once were." the god warned, "Creation, destruction, choice and knowledge. With the ideals upon this, humanity was made. Now, I leave them behind with hope that you may learn to remake yourselves." he showed off four objects, each to represent one of the codes for humanity. A sword, a crown, a spear and a 'lamp'. "If brought together these four relics will summon my brother and I back to your world, and humanity will be judged. If your kind has learned to live in harmony with one another and set aside their differences, then we shall once again live among them. And humanity will be made whole again."
"It's a lose-lose situation. Humanity is too fickle to be seen as just in the eyes of these gods. I mean, it took one woman to turn all of humanity against them." Peter criticized.
"But..." the god continued, "If we return and you are still fighting amongst yourselves while asking for our blessings, then mankind will be marked irredeemable and your world will be wiped from this universe. Until your task is complete, you WILL reincarnate, but in a manner that ensures you are never alone."
Ozma shook his head, "Sorry but...That world doesn't mean much to me without her there. If I may, I'd like to return to the afterlife to see Salem."
"You will not find her there."
"You mean...she isn't gone?" Ozma asked, both confused and happy.
"Salem lives. But the woman you hold dear in your memories is gone." the god warned, "Heed this warning: where you seek comfort you will only find pain. So...will you--"
"I'll do it!" Ozma yelled out before the god could finish speaking.
The god nodded, "Very well, our creation rests within your hands." With that, once again, the god disappeared.
"Jeez, these gods flake out harder than Tony did to me." Peter mentioned as he rubbed the back of his head.
"And so, Ozma was reborn." Jinn said triumphantly, almost as if it was the return of a hero. The next thing Peter saw was a massive grimm attack against a village. The people tried to fight back best they could, but they were too inexperienced. Peter was able to pick out Ozma's reincarnated body by mere process of elimination. Seeing a man who had whitened out hair, who looked as if he did nothing but farm work, suddenly pick up a sword and expertly wield it was almost a dead give away to the teen. "Ozma had found himself in a world completely unfamiliar to him. Cities looked different, creatures called faunus bore fangs and claws and were locked away in cages. And without the blessing of the gods, no one could perform magic like mankind was once capable of. No one but himself, and the woman known as 'The Witch'."
Peter rolled his eyes from behind his mask and crossed his arms, "Considering what she did to humanity 'The Bitch' seems like a more appropriate title." Peter quickly covered his mouth and looked around, "Oof, good thing the others didn't hear that." he chuckled.
Ozma walked up to an old shack that looked more than run down, "During his years of travel, he heard the same fractured whispers of a terrifying sorceress who commanded dark powers in the wild among the beasts and monsters. Ozma was convinced that this witch was Salem."
"I'll take 'No Shit Sherlock' for 800, Alex." Peter joked and covered his mouth again, "Jeez, hope Jinn doesn't make me put money in her lamp as a swear jar."
Ozma hesitated slightly before approaching the door of the run down shack. "He decided he needed to see what she had become." Jinn continued. Before Ozma could even reach the door it had opened again to reveal Salem's new form and in a black dress that exposed much cleavage thanks to the boob window. Nice. Salem stared at Ozma, and he stared back at her before both smiled and went to embrace each other. "Call it magic or call it something stronger, but in that moment, the two knew exactly who it was that stood before them. Soon the run down shack changed into one that was actually...liveable. "Soon Salem and Ozma would recount the events that brought them back together. But each also withheld information from the other. Salem, fearing Ozma would reject her, blamed the end of the world on the gods. Ozma, still unsure where the truth led, kept his tasks and the relics a secret. Though time passed and all seemed well, Ozma would keep thinking back to his conversation with the god of light. He had found happiness, but humanity was more divided than ever."
"I'm not surprised." Salem said as she and Ozma had a conversation about the state of humanity in the kitchen, "I mean this world is quite literally godless. These humans have no one to guide them. Perhaps that's all they need." she smiled.
"What do you mean?" Ozma asked, slightly concerned.
"We could become the gods of this world. Our powers surpass all others. Our souls transcend death, we can mold these lands into whatever we want. What YOU want. Bring the paradise that the old gods could not." Ozma seemed unsure, but when Salem gave her reassuring smile, he seemed to cave.
"Men...are easily swayed." Jinn laughed. Dude gave up humanity for some nooky. God damn. Can we say that?
Once again (Jesus Christ, I need better transitions) the image changed. Now it was a moderate sized village that was under attack by a Nevermore. The people ran screaming, trying to hide from the beast, until it mysteriously disintegrated with only Ozma and Salem floating where it once stood. It didn't take long for people to start treating them as higher beings. "The two quickly amassed a following." Jinn continued as again the image changed from a village to a large castle, "That following turned to a prosperous kingdom. And at the head of that kingdom blossomed...a family." A portrait was shown of Salem, Ozma, and four little girls.
"All girls, ouch. That's the real tragedy here. Am I right Yang!?" Peter held his hand up and remembered that none of his friends could see or hear him. He begrudgingly gave himself a high five. "That was a good joke too, dang." Peter continued watching, making note that Ozma began having regrets of following Salem's plan, especially after he found out it was just becoming an authoritarian and killing all those who stand in your way. Ozma was so upset he didn't even smile when he learned his daughters could perform magic.
"Yes, what should have been a joyous occasion, was sadly short lived." Jinn said with an almost upset tone. "Ozma told Salem everything, the true reason the God of Light brought him back. The relics that were scattered around the world. And the day of judgement he had been told to prepare for."
"Don't you see?" Salem shrugged, "We don't need them anymore. Why spend our lives trying to redeem these humans when we could replace them with what they could never be?" Salem held out her hand but to her surprise, Ozma turned away.
Peter shook his head, somewhat torn, "I...Kinda agree. You don't need gods. But the point of that is YOU DON'T NEED GODS. If someone who's stronger than everyone else goes around playing god then you ruin the dichotomy. Let the world remain godless for a couple years, who knows maybe something good will happen."
"That night, while trying to escape with his daughters, Ozma would face Salem." Jinn sighed, "In their battle, not only did they destroy the kingdom they built together...but also their family." Peter had to turn away as he saw the little girls get crushed by the falling debris of the castle, all while holding back whatever was in his stomach. "Thus begun a long and painful cycle of death and rebirth for Ozpin. Some lives were spent in mourning, many were spent trying to forget it all. But no matter what his mind would eventually turn back to the task he had been burdened with. And as the years went on Ozma had begun learning the importance of living with the souls of which he had inherited." Jinn showed what was essentially a slide show of all the people Ozpin would share a body with, "But no matter where he moved, her presence was always felt. If humanity ever stood a chance of being united, one thing was clear: he must destroy Salem.
"Knowing he could never rid the world of her through no mortal means, he began his search for the relics. Armed with my knowledge, he believed he could fulfill his promise to the God of Light. He asked me his questions: 'Where are the relics, what powers do they possess, and how do defeat Salem'. And though I answered his questions, not all were to his liking." Peter looked on in horror before smacking his palm against his forehead when he heard Jinn's answer to defeating Salem: It was impossible. Finally, the smoke and mirrors disappeared and the group was back in the snow, with Oscar/Ozpin on his knees with a defeated look on his face.
Peter, still thinking about what happened to the kids, finally let loose. He lifted up his mask as chunks spewed out. He spit a few times before covering it up with snow. "So...we all heard that right?" he asked from his bent over position, "That we can't beat Salem?" the group nodded all having a mixture of sadness and anger on their faces, "Great...why am I not surprised?"
To be continued...
A/N: Oooooooh...I had a love/hate relationship with this chapter. But that's mostly because the episode itself is kinda boring. But seriously, I had the hardest time trying to figure out how to make this like...semi entertaining. I think Peter just Riffing the story like Mystery Science Theater 3000 or like the two old guys in the Muppets was by far the best choice, and probably the only choice. But uh, we're past it now. Thank fuck.
I promise there won't be such a long delay between chapters again at least for a bit, I was just focusing some time on my other story. That one will probably be longer than this one.
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, I'll see you in a bit.