Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time

Episode 12: Bounty Hunters (start) Getting Cocky/Expanding Altered Episode 7's (plot) Pt. 2

(Warning: All intellectual properties belong to their original creators/current copyright holders. EVA to Gainax and Studio Khara, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, You get the idea.)

(Opening Theme: "Reverse/Re:Birth" by Hiroaki Iwagana and Asaya Kimijima)

(Generic P.O.V. Shift)

Within the confines of the GARD, we can see the Knights of Ryujin continuing their training in the Warper arts under 3x Earth'sgravity. In terms of match ups, we had Bishops VS Shinji and Toji VS Kensuke. But what about Sakura, Ami and Kaworu you may ask? Practicing meditation just outside.

Meanwhile, within a secret chamber within NERV headquarters, Gendo can be seen training with Keel for the day they can dispose of not only Bishops, but the Knights of Ryujin as a whole once and for all. Gendo blocks a chop from Lorenz before responding "What's the status on the bounty hunters to deal with Bishops and his team?" as the former SEELE leader goes in for a knife kick and responds "Some candidates have offered to take the job, they should show up later today."

The kick connects as Gendo is sent falling back as the scene shifts back to the Knights as we can see Toji and Kensuke locked into a grapple bout as Toji goes "So how's the hunt for that new team vehicle going?' before throwing Kensuke back as the glasses sporting Warper charges back towards his more sporty friend and replying "I've found a few that might be cool, but I'm still shoppping around for a decent price on one of them."

Shinji halts his assault on Bishops to respond "You didn't pick something that we can't blend in with like a tank or the freaking Mystery Machine, did you?" as Kensuke responds "We could easily blend in with NERV's forces with a VTOL, does that count?" before switching opponents to the third child. About another hour passes as the Knights decide to take a break just as Shinji gets a call on his phone. The third child picks it up and answers "Thot Slayers incorporated, you go beyond, they get begoned. Shinji speaking. Oh hey. You got it? Oh my body will be ready. I can pop in at around 4:00, 4:30. See you then." before hanging up as Bishops responds "A call from a potential lady friend?" before his young ward answers "Depends, who wants to know?'

Bishops just simply states "Remember what we talked about when it comes to helping her friends out. Not only can you score some brownie points with Ms. Kirishima, but it wouldn't hurt to have additional people we can trust in this world now that Gendo and Lorenz are fully in the picture." as Shinji replies "Why don't you just kill Lorenz now? Unfortunately, I can technically see why we have to keep Gendo alive for now, but I bet you could probably just one shot that SEELE jerk without even having to use your full power in your base form."

Bishops answers "Gendo could easily use that as ammo against us, giving him even more power than he already thinks he has. I mean we can circumnavigate some of his canonical gains by intercepting Kaji when he's delivering the Adam embryo when it comes time to deal with episode 8's canon, but for now, we can only keep them in a cold war style stall."

(P.O.V. Shift: Gendo)

This may be Bishop's so called show, but I'll be damned if I don't use any chance I can get to overtake his siege of my control over this city. The bounty hunters have arrived, and as far as I see them all, they're nothing more than a grouping of sad, pathetic excuses for warriors. Lorenz addresses each of them by stating "Each of you was selected to take on this job because of your individual skill sets and your ability to command sizable forces in combat. Now there may be the chance that some of you won't be leaving this battle alive, but such is the risk one takes on when pursuing the life of a bounty hunter. Now then, if you will look in the portfolios given to you upon entry, you'll find dossiers regarding your targets and whether they are deemed priority or not."

I hear a red clad little imp ask "So when do we get payed?" as Lorenz responds "You'll be paid in full once we deemed your results satisfactory, plus any bounty that was placed on them from the Order of Reality if you manage to kill one of them."

the larger member of the group asks "Can we just capture them instead? I mean killing is kind of wrong when you think of it." as I think "Is he really that stupid. Are we really hiring morons like this to deal with our problems?" I swear to whatever deity allows it that these idiots are nothing more than mere cannon fodder that we don't have to pay by the end of things.

"Eliminating them to claim the bounties on their heads is completely optional, all you really have to do is provide us with some data regarding their fighting styles and how to do battle against them should my associate and I be challenged." I hear Lorenz answer to the giant oaf as another moron, this time one wearing a gourd on his head like a helmet goes "Irrelevant. Gourdar, the Never Ending does not do anything half assed. My Squash Droids shall deliver their deceased bodies to you with precision and without remorse!" before another rube with mechanical claws for hands responds "You wouldn't happen to be hiring evil scientists, would you, Mr. the Never Ending?" as the red midget chides "And just what do you think you're doing looking for employment elsewhere, Dr. Frog? In case you hadn't noticed, you belong to the League of Super Evil, and until the day that the league is properly destroyed, you ride with us until you die."

"And need I remind you that because of your "leadership" of this "league", we're over 100,000,000 Dimensional Credits in debt? The only reason we took this job was so that we could at best, scrounge up less than half of what we owe." responds the moron in blue before pulling up a holographic display from his left claw hand.

"Super Spiral" Desmond Bishops: Bounty recently increased to 31,000,000 Dimensional Credits (Wanted Dead or Alive)

"Third Champion" Shinji Ikari (Earth Dimension EVA-12385267): Bounty recently increased to 620,000 Dimensional Credits (Wanted Dead or Alive)

"Tokyo 3 Bruiser" Toji Suzuhara (Earth Dimension EVA-12385267): Bounty recently increased to 350,000 Dimensional Credits (Wanted Dead or Alive)

"Tokyo 3 Video Master" Kensuke Aida (Earth Dimension EVA-12385267): Bounty recently increased to 300,000 Dimensional Credits (Wanted Dead or Alive)

"Tokyo 3 Healer" Sakura Suzuhara (Earth Dimension EVA-12385267): Bounty recently increased to 300,000 Dimensional Credits (Wanted Dead or Alive)

Lorenz then responds "We can see about increasing their bounties to help you with your little debt problem if you manage to take at least one of them out or capture them, but just be sure to do what we hired you to do in the first place."

All of the idiots in the room murmur in agreement before being sent out into battle as I turn to Lorenz and go "Are we really trusting these morons with properly gauging the power of Bishops and those brats?" as he answers "They're cannon fodder, nothing more, nothing less. Honestly, I don't expect any of them to survive this. Plus if they don't, we don't have to pay anyone."

"So is underestimating everyone you and papa numbnuts here the only thing you're good at, because you're playing with fire when dealing with a level 10 Warper, even if he is middle of the road when it comes to power." a voice proclaims from the darkness as I pull out my gun and declare "Show yourself." as out comes a man with fairly high Warper energy from the shadows.

"Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Remy Adrian Jase, a fellow Warper who focuses on the ninja arts. Word on the streets happens to be that you're looking for bounty hunters to gauge the power of Bishops and his team."

Lorenz responds "I assume you're looking for some paying work, are you interested in taking the job?" as the newest buffoon in my life answers "If I have time. For now, I'm here on more...personal matters."

I bruntly ask "Then why in the hell are you even here?" as the so called "ninja" replies "I may not be interested in your little bounty hunting tunt right now, but I can offer you two some advice regarding what you could consider a common enemy."

Lorenz the asks "How is he an enemy to you, and if he is, why wouldn't you want the chance to be paid to take him down?"

"To answer your first question, Bishops has been cock blocking other Warpers looking to procure some...sexual company over the last couple months. This conflicts with my reasons for being here, and I'd prefer if he was out of the way before I make my own moves. As for the second question, he's a tad bit too powerful for me to take on in a head on fight. He's been trained by not only the leaders of the legendary Blackthorn family, but also a former agent from one of the more powerful incarnations of Dragonball's Time Patrol out there. Even if our fight wouldn't be a direct conflict, I highly doubt he would just rest on his laurels involving his skill set, and has most likely developed skills based on things he would've researched beforehand. I extremely doubt that I would be able to survive against him." prattles on the fool giving us his half assed answer on why he doesn't just kill him himself as I respond "So the reason you want Bishops dead is because you and your buddies want to enslave the denizens of our universe for sex, and the reason you don't just get rid of him yourself is because you're too much of a scrub. Am I in the ballpark with that guesstimate?"

Shut up, Gendo." I hear Lorenz quietly utter before responding "You'll have to excuse my apprentice, he sometimes doesn't know when to keep his big mouth shut. Now then, I believe we can actually help one another if you would be open to it."

The "ninja" answers "What do you have in mind?" as I get the feeling that this will only end badly on our part.

(P.O.V. Shift: Shinji)

I finally get out of an impromptu Synch Test that was announced out of nowhere (you can probably tell how pissed I technically am at that) as me and that one Rei clone he kept here to cover for the one that left are on our way out of NERV while Bishops gives Misato and Ritsuko a lecture on informing him on scheduling Synch tests in advance to keep from interrupting his lessons as I wind up being put on "Walking the Rei clone home" duty. Let me just say this: thank Beerus for the ability to create portals to wherever I wanna go, because it just saved me a whole lot of time that I could be using getting ready to take on the supposed shlock that is "Strange Magic". We portal inside of the clone's crappy apartment as I have to ask the main question you do when your arch nemesis now has the same powers you do: "Gendo still doesn't suspect that you're basically a double agent for us, right?"

I get an answer of "I'm unsure, but if he can sense Warper Energy, he might currently be working on counter strategies to whatever you and Representative Bishops have planned."

Figures, that nuckfut probably also did something like hire bounty hunters to get rid of us before we become too much of a threat. I go "Be on your toes in case they decide to trigger 3rd Impact early. You get the call saying that it's time, get the hell out of dodge, because things are gonna get brutal real quick." as she replies "I'll leave things in your capable hands should it come to that chain of events. Now then, I believe you have a romantic outing to attend to, courting Ms. Kirishima."

"Whoa now, it's not a date, we're just gonna watch a bad movie and make fun of it. Unless she wants it to be a date, we're just friends for right now, got it?" I answer...though I wouldn't be against the idea of it becoming a date. she just nods as I portal out of her place to get ready. I don't know why, but I think I've got a good feeling about this.

(Generic P.O.V. Shift)

The scene shifts to the same hotel room we saw at the end of the last episode where Mana Kirishima is once again on the phone with her superior officer.

"Look, I'm close, alright. I just need a little bit more time to earn his trust so I can get NERV's secrets from him."

"You better get results soon, you little thot. We are two days away from showing off the TRI-DENT prototype, and we STILL don't have the upper hand on either them or Jet Alone's development team. You know, it would be a travesty if your two little pals happened to be involved in a little "accident" during the presentation." responds the voice on the other end as Mana answers "Have you gone mad?! You'll just be throwing all of the development down the drain by making yourself look bad compared to Jet Alone and the EVAs." before the voice blatantly goes "A small price to pay to show you the cost of failure. Now get that intel, or all three of you are fucking history!" as the call ends.

Mana slumps down on her bed and groans in frustration before saying "I've got no choice. I need to get me and the others out of this situation before we all wind up in body bags floating down the lava pool, but how?" before thinking of an idea. If her own employers are willing to kill them for the sake of flipping off NERV, than maybe it's time to seek out a new place of employment...with some intel of her own to sweeten the deal.

(P.O.V. Shift: Lyna)

Alright, we get another spotlight in under 3 episodes! Okay, so me and the girls were doing some shopping on Planet Creation after we had finished with the lessons from the 4th disc of that Lina Inverse magic training program, and...it wasn't exactly easy. We had just came out of a multidimensional bodega after picking up some drinks for the team before figuring that we could check out if any places had swimwear on sale for a trip we were planning on doing when there was time in between Angel attacks and training. When we got there, we actually wound up running into a lady dressed up like a sexy soccer player that actually had some Pokeballs around her belt who told us "Can you three distract some people for me for a quick moment? I'll explain later." before going into one of the dressing stalls as true to her words, this group of I guess Pokemon trainers came barreling into the store going "Where's Nessa? Which way did Nessa run off to? You three see a hot gym leader dressed like a sexy soccer player come around here?" as Eria and I tell them that she went in the opposite direction into another store, but not before giving them an ear full for scaring Wynn into the changing booth next to the soccer lady's and throwing shame on all their houses. They all leave feeling just a little bit ashamed of themselves as Eria goes into the booth to calm Wynn down as "Nessa" exits hers before saying "I am so sorry about what happened to your friend, I hope she's alright."

Wynn replies "I-I'm fine, I-I-I just needed a moment to calm down." as Nessa responds "Still, I'd like to make it up to you three for putting you on the spot like that. If you're ever in the Galar region of Earth Dimension PKM-294712-K, come look me up and I'll treat you three to a night on the town."

Eria then thanked her before telling her that she'd better hold up her promise as Nessa nods before heading off to get a head start against that mob. I had to ask who she was as Wynn pulled out her phone and looked up her name before answering "Apparently she's one of the new gym leaders of the next main series Pokemon games for the Switch, a-and she's really popular among the fan base."

Eria goes "Well that explains the mob." before continuing with "You guys wanna keep shopping, or do you think it's time to give it a rest for a bit?" as I respond "I can keep going, but we might wanna try a different store if you and Wynn want." and Wynn answers "I-I can keep going if you guys want to."

Okay, so...we're just gonna finish up here, and we will probably catch you guys probably either in another P.O.V. shift or the next episode. Bye now.

(P.O.V. Shift: Shinji)

Oh. My. Fucking. God. I have just witnessed what is quite possibly the 2nd worst movie that I have ever seen in my goddamn life, and I've seen "Plan 9 From Outer Space". Mana was truly right, and we were just sitting on Misato's couch, just soaking it in. I know that this was supposed to be George Lucas' pet project since before he even started work on the Star Wars prequels, but some things just should stay concepts. Things were all fine and dandy until Mana speaks up and says "Shinji, there's something I have to tell you." Now, I didn't need Warper senses to know that she was in a jam, and probably knowing what I think it is, I simply answer "Well you can tell me. I mean, we can go somewhere else before you do in case Misato decides to barge in, find out and do something stupid if you want." as she answers "Do you know a place?" before I respond "I got a couple."

Some time later, we stop into the penthouse where Bishops was taking a meditation break before he snaps out of it when he sensed me and went "I have a feeling that you two need my help with something, so spill it."

About a half hour of her explaining that she and her friends were pretty much sold to a rival of NERV's research team for use with their own mech to counter the EVAs and how the sent her to try and seduce me for intel that they could use to get the upper hand on their competitors later and I can tell that Bishops was busy figuring out a plan to help her and her buddies as Mana asks "Is it possible for you to help me help my friends and I out of our situation?" before he gets up and goes to a nearby desktop computer. I see him do some stuff after he puts in a flash drive in one of the USB ports before he finishes, ejects the drive and hands it to Mana as he says "This might be able to at least get them off your back when it comes to intel. Fair warning, all of it's fake, but I'm sure they won't know the difference."

She then asks "What about my friends?" before he answers "Oh, I've got some friends who might be able to help you and your buddies in that area, but the question will remain on what to do with you three afterwards." as she responds "We'll work with NERV if we have to. I've got dirt on them that you might want, and I'm willing to share it with them in exchange for security against my former "employers"."

Bishops then goes "That might not be necessary, but I think I know how to get them off of your backs once and for all." He then tells us that it might take some time to pull off, but Mana was all for whatever plan he had in mind before he tells me to escort Mana back to her hotel to ensure that she's safe from whatever her employers had in mind for her afterwards. Me thinks that this day is not gonna end as well as I thought it would.

(P.O.V. Shift: Wynn, Eria and Lyna- Key for dialogue: bold/regular= Eria, Bold/regular itallic= Wynn and bold/regular underlined= Lyna)

Back to us? Alright, let's do this. Okay, so we had just came home from Planet Creation with Bishops telling us that we may or may not have some new recruits within the next few days, meaning that we should probably start thinking of a "welcome to the team" dinner for when that happens.

Well if it happens anyways. So after we decidend to grab a quick power nap, we still needed to grab dinner, abut we'll skip that part, because something kinda weird, but not really if you're a Warper happened, so you might wanna see that instead.

I-It's true, we were on our way to a place a couple blocks away from the penthouse, and out of nowhere this kid with a very large head wearing a gourd for a helmet while riding in a kind of version of Dr. Eggman's hovercraft from the Sonic games stopped us...a-and he had a bunch of robots with him.

The little jerk then starts going "So, you three are part of the mighty Knights of Ryujin. A worthy test for my new series of Squash Droids. So says Gourdar, the Never Ending!" And thank whoever's out there that no one was around to hear that because I don't think that the boss would be happy about the secret identities of members of our team getting leaked to the public while they're still only at level 3 awareness. Well, looks like we get to use our magic in a practical way for like, the first time on this show, might as well make it flashy, girls.

So we all get in casting positions as the guy yells "Squash Droids, attack!" before his robots start charging at us. Eria uses some water from a sport bottle she had on her to make spikes and miniature blades to stab and cut into some of the weaker ones while I protect all 3 of us with a hardlight shield and Wynn blows most of them away with these super sharp gusts that start cutting them in half. They were actually a relative cake walk that I bet one of us could easily take on alone..but then the weirdo brought out a bigger robot that kinda looked like Shrek...with a laser in a very inappropriate place that made us think that he based it off of that one meme. You know the one.

"You may have overpowered my lesser Squash Droids, but let's see you deal with one of my specialized warriors: the mighty category "Ogre" Squash Droid!"

Let's just say that the laser rose in a way that caused some innuendos along with some other guns on its body before the creepy guy then goes "Ogre, show these fools the price of messing with Gourdar, the Never Ending in the name of our lord: TIMBER, THE DARK SHARD!" as he starts laughing manically as the three of us just decided that this needed to end, and I knew just the way to do it. Before the big robot could fire off anything, we hit it and "Gourdar" with a combined ice covered hurricane hardlight fist as both of them are sent flying into the distance as we could hear the creepy kid go "You'll rue the day you crossed Gourdar!" before disappearing into the sunset.

We should probably call the penthouse and tell Mr. Bishops about this, because I kinda doubt that this was the last time that this will happen.

Good idea, Wynn. Alright, we're gonna take care of this, and probably provide back up for whoever needs it, because like Wynn said, this is probably not the end of it. Peace out.

(P.O.V. Shift: Toji)

I finally get my own standalone P.O.V.? Sweet. So me, Kensuke, Ami and Sakura were at Kensuke's old military camp hidey hole setting some stuff up to act as an emergency base and a place to park the team vehicle when we decide on which one we want when from out of nowhere, Sakura hears some rustling from a little ways away. Kensuke opted to check it out when out of nowhere, some kid in some sort of supervillain costume, a freaky dog thing that looks like it came from hell, and a big guy wearing a mask pop out with the little guy going "Knights of Ryujin, prepare to be "captured" by the League of Super Evil, commanded by me: the unstoppable Voltar and-wait a minute. Where's your leader?" before turning to the big guy and going "Red Menace, are you sure you put in the right coordinates in the portal gun to Bishops' location?" as the big guy responds "Honestly Voltar, I put in the coordinates with the highest gathering of Warper energy in the area. I thought that he'd be here for sure."

The little guy just sighs and responds "No matter, we'll just "capture" these four and use them to bait out Bishops. Dr. Frog, prepare the-where is Frog?!" before we hear a phone chirp go off as "Red Menace" picks it up and says "It's from Frog. He says..."I quit and am joining Gourdar's forces. I would say it's been fun, but it hasn't? You don't think he's doing this because of the massive amounts of debt we owe, do you, Voltar?"

"Voltar", getting pretty pissy goes "Frog thinks he can just up and leave us over a little bit of money we owe people?! Well we'll show him. Doomageddon, sic 'em." before the demon looking dog thing starts charging at us with a look like it wanted to eat us.

I shout "Everyone, max safe Kaio Ken!" as we all go into our most powerful safe amplification to fight these guys.

(Track Change: "Goku VS Jeice & Burtur Theme"- Bruce Faulconer and Team's English dub DBZ Soundtrack)

As much as I don't approve of animal cruelty, me and Ami were willing to make an exception for this hell hound as Sakura took on the little twerp and Kensuke took on the big guy. Props to my little sister for taking the twerp and doing great against him as she sent his ass flying into the sunset with one well placed Ki blast. I swear, I could hear him shouting "Revenge!" while he was flying away. Kensuke on the other hand was having a bit more trouble with the big guy as he had himself a personal force field to protect himself from damage.

The big guy goes "That wasn't really nice what your friend did to Voltar, so I suggest you apologize now and come quietly before I really get testy." before Kensuke responds "Your guys attacked ours first, if anything, you should come quietly with us and tell us who sent you after us."

The big guy actually stops the fight and agreed with Kensuke, going "Doomageddon, we're coming with these guys." as the freaky dog thing just looks at him going like "seriously? You're really doing this, you dumbass?" as he responds to that by going "Don't give me that look, it's only fair that we tell our side of the story." Wow, this guy has to be an even bigger dumbass than I thought. Next thing I know, Kensuke's pulling out his phone calling the boss and telling him about this before he hangs up. I ask "So..." as Kensuke answers "Yeahhhhhhh, we might be a little late to the party on telling Bishops since he's kinda dealing with one right now."

Ami goes "We must hurry and bring the prisoners. If our master is dealing with someone in leagues with these fools, then there is still the chance that he may be in danger."

We portal to Bishops' location to help him, but if whoever he's facing is anything like these guys, he'll probably wipe the floor with them by the time we get there."

(P.O.V. Shift: Desmond)

Well damn, I knew Dr. Frog was always the most competent of the members of the League of Super Evil, but I never thought in my Warper career that a version of him would be giving me a challenge like this. The guy comes gunning for me while I was taking a walk around the hill that overlooks Tokyo 3 when out of nowhere, I get attacked by the mechanical claw for handed maniac actually catches me by surprise and jumps me while wearing his own specialized battle suit.

"Voltar and those other idiots may have been holding me back, but no more! Using combat data that I have obtained by observing your little battle with the most recent Angel herald, I have created this specialized battle suit to surpass you, and I'm not wasting any time in overclocking it so I can surpass you, even when you transform into a Super Spiral!" goes the lunatic before hitting a button on his left claw gauntlet as I can feel a massive increase in power coming from his suit of armor.

He then goes "Any last words before I turn in your carcass for the reward money?" as I respond "I technically have enough to form two questions. First, who sent you after me? And second, did you really think I ever stop training on a daily basis to rest on my laurels?"

The deranged "scientist" responds "I'm sorry, what?" as I turn "Super Spiral" and continue my little "dude, you're screwed" speech by going "Yeah, ever since gaining this kind of power, I've constantly pushed myself to the extreme everyday, growing stronger and stronger everytime so I don't get offed by losers like you. So here's what's gonna happen now: I'm gonna kick your ass, you'll tell me who hired you to go after me, and then you're gonna go back to them with your tail between your legs and tell them that if they really wanna get rid of me that bad, then come at me and do it themselves." before landing a kick that sends him flying into the air as I speed myself behind him and go "Now about those answers."

I eventually get him to spill about how Keel and Gendo hired him and a few others to gauge how powerful me and my team were as I send him packing right when Toji arrives with Kensuke, Sakura and Ami as I hear him go ""Well damn, I was right about you finishing this guy off before we got here."

I reply "Your concern is welcome, but I doubt that it's gonna get any easier from here on out. I suggest you guys get a good night's sleep tonight, because we'll have to step things up even further starting tomorrow if we wanna be able to be ready for whatever Gendo and Lorenz try to pull next."

And that's when I sensed it: a high energy signature that wasn't any that I knew of heading towards Shinji and Mana's current location before going "Oh crap, we need to go help out the kid and his girl."

(P.O.V. Shift: Shinji)

Mana and I had just got back to her hotel room before she went in after I told her that we'd figure out a way to help her and her friends out. As for me, I was on my way back to the penthouse so we could gather the Knights and formulate a battle plan...or at least I was when out of nowhere this one guy with a fairly high Warper energy signature comes up from a dark alley.

The jerk then goes "Well well well, one of Bishops' little brat trainees. And it's the one that usually winds up killing the world too. You should be the perfect bait to lure him out."

Great, we're dealing with bounty hunters now, and I think I know who sent them. I respond "If you think I'll go with you willingly, you're sorely mistaken. Pretty sure the rest of the Knights are on their way here already to provide assistance." as the asshole goes "Oh, they'll be busy dealing with some other fools sent to gauge their power."

Oh crap, I have to deal with this guy quick and warn the others. I get into position as the bounty hunting jackass charges at me with a kunai dagger as I manage to barely dodge it. He goes in for another strike as I let out a Ki blast that manages to trip him up before letting out another blast that blows him up...or so I thought as when the dust cleared, all I saw was a blown up log where he should've been. Son of a bitch, he's a goddamn ninja! Looks like I can't deal with this guy like I normally could with other Warpers, so I'll need to think quickly about how I'm gonna deal with this guy. But on the other hand, that might be a bit of a challenge since this guy pops out of his hiding spot with the dagger in hand, catching me completely off guard. I thought I was gonna be a goner, but I lucked out and got some help from a source I haven't seen in a good 2 canon episodes and however many episodes of this show we've done since we screwed over the events of episode 4's canon.

"Not knocking you saving my ass here, Larky, but what brings you here anyway?"

My still blindfolded drinking buddy responds "I heard that Jerome Jase's father was in the area, and he has a fairly decent bounty on his head. You help me take him out, and I might be willing to split the reward with you."

Curse you, allure of financial gain! I answer "Don't know how much help I can be, but I can at least do my damndest to give you a hand." before going to Kaio Ken x3.

(Track Change: "X VS Zero Theme"- Mega Man X5 OST)

(Generic P.O.V. Shift)

Adrien kicks off the real fight by sending an elbow strike from Shinji back towards Lark who jumps out of the way before preparing a set of hand signs (Snake, Tiger).

"Striking Shadow Snakes!" shouted the blindfolded girl as a squad of pythons come out of her sweatshirt sleeve, leading Remy to jump out of the way, only to be tricked into going through a portal that Shinji had created with the two of them following suit.

Lark asks "Why portal us out of the city?" as the third child responds "Obviously so we can go all out on this guy without drawing a crowd. In case you didn't notice, not everyone in my version of Earth isn't a Warper, so my "boss" kinda wants us to keep a low profile."

Their budding argument was suddenly interrupted when the Jase patriarch starts charging towards them, forcing the two to get out of the way. Meanwhile, Bishops and the rest of the Knights arrive at the last place Shinji's energy signature and Remy's were sensed as Bishops goes "Damn, they must've gone off world to fight. That kid's gonna get himself killed facing a guy as powerful as that signature without help." before Sakura replies "Well I did sense a third signature join into the fight before we got here. Whoever they are, hopefully they're helping him."

The level 10 Warper then responds "The residual energy is still fresh, hopefully we can track them."

Those plans were dashed when Bishops got a call from his phone from an old ally.

"Kind of busy at the moment, Yoko. Can this wait?"

The red headed sniper of the Dai Gurrens answers from her end "Actually, it can't, considering you have a crisis on your turf right now." as Bishops responds "I know, the bounty hunters."

Yoko then responds "Wait, bounty hunters too? Never mind, I'm sure you can deal with those guys, but what you might not be able to deal with is a high calibur explosive seal strong enough to take out the entire city and everyone in it."

"What?!" comes out of the level 10 Warper's mouth before adding "Where are you? Are you near it?" as Yoko answers "Yes I'm at the seal's location. Mura is here too and we're currently trying to disarm it. You should be able to sense our energy signatures, so get your ass along with anyone on your team who has skills in seals over here and help us disarm this thing!"

Bishops then hung up and responded "Change of plans, we need to do some bomb squad duty and save this city before it gets blown to kingdom come, along with a crap ton of civilians. Who here has any skills with seals?"

Eria, Wynn and Lyna raise their hands before answering that their magic lessons involved runes and seals and how to both arm and disarm them before Bishops opens the portal to usher everyone inside, leading to a building in the more run down side of town where Yoko and Mura were hard at work disarming the explosive seal along with a surprise 3rd party.

The 3rd party, revealed to by Jessie simply went "No need to ask about what I'm doing here, I saw the live feed of the episode and saw who placed the bomb. I quickly got here and then called Ms. Kage and Ms. Littner for assistance."

Bishops simply answered "Jessie, you are indeed a lifesaver." before turning to the maids and signaling them to begin helping out. Progress at disarming was...still rather slow as Mura goes "Damn. Whoever designed this seal knew what they were doing. If we can't out right disarm the thing, we need to figure out a way to at least weaken it to minimalize the damage."

That's when Jessie got an idea. A risky one, but one to add to their list of very few options.

"It's a risk, but I have an idea that just might work."

Mura then asks "What do you have in mind?" as the now partial Pokemon character look alike answered "What if instead of trying to disarm the seal the more conventional way, we overload it?"

Yoko then questions the plan by asking "How so?" as Jessie continues "We form a protective barrier around the seal while someone pours amounts of Warper Energy into it, enough to cause it to short out and become fairly harmless."

Bishops knew that they needed to get this seal disarmed quick, or else his whole plan would literally go up in flames, leading him to come to a decision.

"I'm technically the strongest out of all of us here, if you guys keep working on shorting out the seal, I can supply the needed energy to finish the job."

Jessie was quick to respond "Sir, are you sure? I mean, what I suggested was only really a theory. I don't even know if it'll even work." as Bishops answers "We don't have time to debate our options. We'll just have to test your theory on the spot and hope for the best." before going Super Spiral and getting into position to do his part. With all parties involved doing their parts to weaken the explosive seal, Bishops pours a significant amount of Warper energy into it, eventually causing it to short out and partially detonate. While not killing anyone, it did send them flat on their asses due to the reverb of energy. With the main crisis over, Mura digs Bishops one in the arm before saying "That's for getting carried away with your energy output." before Jessie pulls him in for a hug and goes "And this is for actually proving my theory correct and saving the city."

Bishops then responds "While I appreciate the feedback, we can celebrate getting the job done later, right now the kid still needs our help with that bounty hunter." to which Yoko responds to by saying "If we check the live feed of your show, we might be able to figure out where he portaled to if camera crews are recording the fight."

"Good idea, Ms. Littner." responds the female Majin as the team now works on saving Shinji's ass from the hands of a Warper bounty hunter.

(P.O.V. Shift: Shinji & "Lark" VS Remy)

Shinji and his blindfolded drinking mate were most certainly having their hands full as they were dodging a rapid fire stream of Phoenix Flower Jutsu attacks from the older Warper they were fighting as Lark chains the ram, horse, snake, dragon, rat, ox and tiger hand signs.

"Fire Style: Dragon Flame Bomb Jutsu!"

Remy, being more experienced with ninja arts quickly began jumping back to avoid the fire made dragons heading his way, and extinguished them by utilizing the Water Dragon Jutsu, using only the ram hand sign to activate it.

Shinji quickly responds to this by going "Hey, wait a minute. I thought that the whole Water Dragon Jutsu thing to a crap ton of hand signs to pull off, how'd he do it with just one?" to which Lark answers by going "My guess, he's used it enough times that he can use it by just using one hand sign. It's possible, and characters in canon have done it."

The third child quickly asks "Can you do that with any jutsu?" as Lark responds "A couple." before using a single tiger sign and firing off her own stream of Phoenix Flowers. The dethroned head of the Jase family quickly dodged the attack before responding "Well well well, look's like I might actually have to put in some effort into this. "Lightning Style: Lightning Release Chakra Mode!""

Electric energy began surging from the malevolent Warper as his hair began to rapidly spike and bio electricity crackled all around the Chakra field he was surrounded by. This of course lead to one of our two heroes of the moment (in this case, Lark) to go "Well shit." as Remy charged at the two with Kunai in hand at an accelerated pace. While the two managed to escape the attack, but not before Remy managed to cut the bandages off of Lark's eyes, forcing her to open them and actually see things for the first time in a while, all while revealing a pair of Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan sporting a bird themed design.

Remy simply went "Well shit." after seeing the reveal before dodging a stream of Amaterasu flames. Shinji had remembered hearing something about someone getting Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan from a fight with another Warper back when he and his friends were being registered, leading him to kinda sorta piece two and two together and go "You're the girl who beat that Warper version of Madara Uchiha and got Sharingan out of it, aren't you?" as Lark answers "It took you this long to figure it out?" before the third child responded "Hey, I don't keep up with the news often, I got stuff to do."

Before their argument could go any further, a large cluster of orange flowers sprouted around them as Remy lit a match as Shinji realized what was about to happen and quickly responded "Like not getting us killed!" before grabbing the revealed Cyclonian leader and flying her out of range of the exploding pillar of flower induced flames. While in midair, Shinji starts formulating a plan as he turns his attention to Lark and goes "You know how to use Tsukuyomi, right?" as the crystal mage turned ninja responds "Kinda. Why?"

That's when Unit-01's pilot explains his attempt at an idea by answering "What if I launch you in his direction? Do you think you could trap him in a Tsukuyomi mind fuck long enough for us to finish him off?"

The former Cyclonian leader answers "It's a long shot, but judging by our position right now, it's technically the best shot we have since I can't just ice his ass with an Oblivion Crystal. And even if I could, I don't have one on me right now."

The third child then remembers something from the night they first met and goes "That kind of crystal wouldn't happen to be egg shaped, glows orange kinda like a lump of coal that got lit and has little claws on the bottom, would it?" as Lark responds "No, that's a Phoenix Crystal, and I've been looking for that."

Shinji then says "We survive this, you can come pick it up at my boss's place, he held on to it, just in case you wanted it back." to which the crystal mage replies "I'll hold you to your word, now if we're doing this Tsukuyomi thing, then launch me."

The third child simply responded "Suit yourself." before dodging a Thunderclap Arrow Jutsu from the disgraced Jase family head and launching his drinking buddy into initiating the plan. Remy tries to trick Lark with a Sexy Jutsu, only for her to press on, responding to it by going "Shouldn't have transformed when I knew for a fact that you were a guy, genius!" before something unexpected happened: the Tsukuyomi that our protagonists were hoping for, not what they got. No, instead Lark inadvertently summoned a skeletal Chakra arm that grabbed the disgraced Jase head in a death grip as she responds to it by going "Well, that's new." Before shrugging it off and going with it, tightening her grip on the bounty hunter and giving Shinji a proper line of fire to finish the job. But before everything could go that way, Lark gets partially electrocuted by Remy who had somehow managed to one handed hand sign a Lightning Illusion Flash of Lightning Pillar to make Lark release her grip and partially distort her vision and combined it with a Thunderclap Arrow once she had stumbled onto a patch of land that was still wet from the Water Dragon Jutsu cast earlier. Before Shinji could act in retaliation, he gets sent crashing into the ground from a surprise attack from behind by Remy. That's when the bounty hunter began to go on a bit of a tirade.

"You know, I'm really starting to think that if the rest of your boss' team is as annoying and hard to kill as you and your little girl toy are, then maybe trying to forcefully clap the cheeks of every woman in your universe just isn't worth it. Thankfully, I had a back up plan for just such an occasion. You see, I knew that I was no match for Bishops on his own, and if he decided to call for back up, forget even lasting more than a minute. So I decided that If I had to go down, I was gonna take as many people as possible in that universe with me. Oh yes, by now, the explosive seal that I placed should be activating, not only blowing up your precious city, friends and lady friends, but the rest of the planet with it. But look at it this way: at least your Gendo gets to take a ride to hell, and you'll get to join him soon enough."

You'd think that hearing that all of his friends and loved ones being killed along with the rest of his Earth would be enough to send Shinji into a rage, and you'd mostly be right. But the final straw came from the last comment. If anyone was gonna do away with the people trying to force him into bringing forth Armageddon, it was gonna be him. With a sudden burst of rage and a change of eye color from normal blue to burning red, Shinji had unknowingly tapped into an unknown power source that allowed him to not only deliver a massive beating to the bounty hunting Jase, but gave him the extra speed and strength needed to finish him off as Lark had awakened and recovered her vision enough to see the entire thing and catch the third child after blacking out once the sudden power burst had faded.

"Well he's still alive." chimed the Warper Cyclonian leader before continuing "You know what, Shinji? After I get my Phoenix Crystal back, drinks are on me."

The Sharingan user then sees another portal open as she readies for another fight, only to find that it was Bishops and his team coming out to provide assistance, not knowing that the fight was already over.

"Alright, where is this son of a bitch?" went Toji as Cyclonis answered "If you guys are here for the beatdown, you're too late. Your friend and I already took care of it."

Mura then sees Remy's mangled body not too far from their location and notices that what the former mystery girl was saying was true as she says "She's right. The energy signature from our little bomb placing pest here, it's gone. And his Flames of Creation have already been absorbed too."

Shinji quickly wakes up after hearing the word "bomb" and quickly goes "Oh shit, the bomb! Gotta figure a way back home and-" before Kensuke interrupts by going "Chill, dude."

Toji then adds "Yeah, that was kinda the reason we were tardy to the party...well that and we had some bounty hunter trouble of our own, but we took care of it."

Shinji was quick to go "Wait, really?" as Yoko answers "Really. Your world lives to fight another day, and by the looks of it, you pretty much handled the last of the bounty hunters that Lorenz and Gendo had hired to gauge your team's skills."

Of course hearing who sent the guy who just gave him and his drinking buddy a hard time made Shinji just go "Of course they did. Chalk up another thing on the "ways I can try and screw over my son" list that jackass probably has stowed away somewhere."

He then looks to see Remy's dead body and goes "Uh, did you guys do that, because all I remember is him telling me about the bomb, and then everything after that is a blur." as Cyclonis answered "No, that kill was all you. I regained consciousness right before your sudden power surge to see you finish that asshole off. You had glowing red eyes and your Ki trail started having black mixed in with your standard violet. What that means, I have no clue."

The ex Time Patrol Majin upon hearing this description gave a hypothesis of the situation of her own by adding "If I could chime in for a moment, I think I might have a theory regarding that." before turning to Desmond and asking "You showed him the battle against Zeruel from the "Rebuild" continuity, right?" as the level 10 Warper answers "Yes, why?" when Mura adds "Well a long standing theory within the Evangelion fan community is that whenever a Shinji triggers 3rd Impact in their canon timeline, they obtain the title of a demigod, which would technically grant them access to a special form of Ki. One you would associate with not only the Super Saiyan God transformations, but also the deities of Dragon Ball lore in general. Your Kais, destroyers, Grand Xeno, you get the idea."

Bishops asks "So what your getting at is that Shinji might have possibly-" before Mura interrupts by answering "Tapped into divine Ki unknowingly? Yes, that's exactly what I'm getting at. And if that's the case, I highly recommend that you two keep up with training so that when the time comes where he can fully harness said power, the kid's body will be able to handle that kind of strain and be able to access it without fully losing control and accidentally destroying the world, like the various canons that have it happen."

Bishops knew that this was something that he'd have to deal with in the near future, and had full plans to make sure that Shinji could actually control such godly power, but for now, those plans were disturbed by a phone call.

"Hello."

The caller on the other end: one Nia Tepplin of the same Dai Gurren brigade that Bishops trained alongside before the start of canon answering "Friend Desmond, I am afraid that I must become the bearer of the unfortunate news. The elite council Blackthorn, she wishes to have the words with you."

Bishops answers "When do she want me to meet her?" in a partially worried tone as Nia answers "Right the now." before Bishops is decked in the face by an unseen force, sending him into the nearest rock basin. Said force was revealed to be one Katsumi Blackthorn II: elite Warper council member bearing a look of disgruntlement on her face. Bishops finally recovering from the surprise attack asks "Lemme guess, this is about all of the Rei clones that I sent to Planet Creation, isn't it?" as the female Blackthorn answers "About 10% of it was, but that's not what I'm here for. No, the main reason I'm here is you declaring all out war on the multiverse's trafficking services! People deserve to give absolute scumbags a taste of their own karma too, you know!"

Bishops in his confusion answers "Where did you hear that? I wasn't even planning that...at least yet anyway." as Katsumi answers "An annonymous person tipped off the Warper News Network that not only did you kill Remy Jase, but used said kill to announce your little war."

Bishops answers "Okay, A: I just got here after helping to defuse a bomb set by that ass hat in my base dimension, so the title of who killed Remy Jase technically goes to the Shinji Ikari that's under my tutelage. And B: He stepped onto my turf first."

The Blackthorn member was still sore about the matter as she responded "That may be the case, but if you have a problem with the way that things are done in the multiverse, you come directly to me about it first, got it?" as Bishops simply goes "Duly noted." knowing that he was still no match for a member of the first family of Warping before adding "Would it make you feel better if I went on to WNN and shared my side of the story to clear the air?" as Katsumi calms down a bit and answers "That is acceptable. I'm glad we had this little talk." before opening the portal and stating "Oh, and since he's dead, you'll have to talk with his son Jerome about control of the Seth McFarlane universe he came from since he has yet to claim it." and ending things by stepping into said portal back to Order of Reality HQ.

Bishops recovers from his little "conversation" and tells everyone "Alright, we've all had a long day, so let's just go home and get some rest. I have a news interview to get ready for, and the events of episode 7 are almost upon us."

Bishops was not looking forward to not only having to face whatever Gendo and Lorenz had in store for him, but also NERV's competitors and the multiverse's most trusted news source. This was not going to be a fun next few days.

(Ending Theme: "Red Sun Over Paradise" by Logan Mader & Jamie Christopherson- Metal Gear Rising: Revengance OST)

Current List of Power Levels:

Desmond Bishops (me): 1,600,000/68,800,000(Max Safe Kaio Ken: x43)/80,000,000(Base Super Spiral)

Shinji Ikari: 51,200/153,600(Max Safe Kaio Ken: x3)/61,000 (post Synch Test)/183,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: x3 Post Synch Test)/ 4,000,000 ("Mysterious Power Surge") (Warper Status: LV. 5)

Mana Kirishima: 6

Musashi Lee Strasberg: 7

Keita Asari: 5.75

Rei Ayanami (Rei III): 8200* (Warper Status: LV. 4)

Toji Suzuhara: 47,000/141,000(Max Safe Kaio Ken: x3) (Warper Status: LV. 5)

Kensuke Aida: 45,500/136,500(Max Safe Kaio Ken: x3) (Warper Status: LV. 5)

Sakura Suzuhara: 45,000/135,000(Max Safe Kaio Ken: x3) (Warper Status: LV. 5)

Hikari Horaki: 5.2

Misato Katsuragi: 5

Wynn Miyabi: 126,900 (Warper Status: LV. 5)

Eria Aoi: 126,700 (Warper Status: LV. 5)

Lyna Hikari: 126,700 (Warper Status: LV. 5)

Yoko Littner (KoR Member): 31,000,000/ 899,000,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: x29)

Mura Kage: 25,750,000

Pen Pen: 3.25

Shigiru Aoba: 4

Maya Ibuki: 4

Mokoto Hyuga: 3

Ritsuko Akagi: 4

Jessabelle Musashi: 118,100 (Warper Status: LV. 5)

Fuytsuki Kozo: 3

Gendo Ikari: 5500 (Warper Status: LV. 4)

Keel Lorenz: 67,800 (Warper Status: LV. 5)

Ami (Earth Dimension SJ-12639706): 62,300/311,500 (Max Safe Kaio Ken=x5) (Warper Status: LV. 5)

Kaworu Nagisa: 25,100* (Warper Satus: LV: 3)

Remy Adrian Jase: 3,500,000/7,000,000 (Lightning Style: Lightning Chakra Release)/0 (Warper Status: Deceased/Reward Claimed)

Johnny "Gourdar the Never Ending" 2x4 (Earth Dimension EEE- Sigma-1451-B): 25,000

Squash Droid Commandos: 30,000 Each (x20)

Squash Droid Elite Commandos: 50,000 Each (x4)

Category "Ogre" Squash Droid: 100,000 (x1)

Voltar (Earth Dimension LOSE-1018-Tau): 120,000

Dr. Frog (Earth Dimension LOSE-1018-Tau): 1,800,000/72,000,000 (Battle Suit Overclock)

Red Menace (Earth Dimension LOSE-1018-Tau): 150,000

Doomageddon (Earth Dimension LOSE-1018-Tau): 400,000

"Lark" Cyclonis (Earth Dimension SH-14413-Omega): 3,550,000/ 17,750,000 (Beginning Stages Susanoo)

Katsumi Blackthorn II: 45,000,000 (base)

(Author's Notes: Technically took a bit longer than I wanted this to be, but the universe is the mortal enemy of progress, isn't it? Alright, time to take care of some things.

1: I did watch the first 8 episodes of the Netflix redub, and while the original voice actors can never truly be replaced, I am willing to admit that the people Netflix got to do the job did okay. I might even finish the main series at some point. I ain't touching End of EVA again, I've dealt with enough mind screwery out of that already.

2: I have set myself up with a goal for the rest of the year: get to at least the altered canon of episode 8 and have the majority of the show's main cast involved...oh, and Mari from the Rebuild movies too.

3: Whether or not Bishops's interview with WNN will take place in a chapter of Yoshi3000's Warper News Network, or during the next episode of this story, we'll hopefully figure that out at some point.

Now then, that was the episode, next time, we actually get to the 3 day span of episode 7's events. Expect mech fights, Mana and her friends being the center point, oh, and memes. The dankest of memes. That's all for now, so until next time, DSX62415, out.)