Thank you Zeugma412, BlueWater5, and Hinata7!

A5mia: Hehe, nope. It will all be explained in time =)

PearlM21: Everything is connected!

Authors notes: Here's a chapter a little earlier than planned since I've powered through writing two chapters this week.

…I'm really, really sorry for this one, though. – ducks –

"Sometimes I feel like I'm in the middle between who I want to be and who I am. Between who I'm trying to love and who I'm running away from. Between my past and my future and between the life I dream about and the life I know I'll never have."

– R.M. Drake

CHAPTER 16: Heavy Burdens

April 11th, 2002

[Severus Snape]

"Hold onto that tightly, Teddy! It's a little windy today."

"Uh oh!" The tiny voice answered amidst the howling winds around them, rippling the grass they trod on.

Severus could hear the faint, familiar voices outside of his home, and for a moment, he considered charming shut his front door and simply not answer. Harry had sent word earlier that day – utilizing the old black quill gifted by himself – that Teddy wanted to give him something. According to Harry, Teddy was almost in tears when the Gryffindor had initially told him no, which sparked a bit of an upset within the Potter household. However, in his bid to avoid the child's cries, Harry gave in, not wanting to upset him further. The Gryffindor had thus sent him somewhat of an apologetic letter outlining the adolescent conundrum. Despite Severus' efforts to reject it, the child just would not accept no for an answer.

Typical.

Of course, this also meant Severus had to endure the child's antics yet again, which he was clearly in no mood to tolerate that day. Or any other day with the cretin, really. It was enough to have to put up with the child's ridiculous musical toy several days prior just to keep the peace, but inwardly, he was frustrated. Having to further tolerate Lupin's spawn was not how he intended to spend his reclusive days.

After finally answering the door, the child burst through in delight, hugging his owl toy close to his chest with the energy of a niffler.

"Thanks for the short notice, sir…Teddy was, uh…quite insistent, " Harry said almost regrettably, as he walked through the door, "I know you hate me intruding like this, but I swear, I tried to reason with him."

Severus was obviously annoyed but clearly frowned wordlessly in response. Despite keeping himself within his laboratory on another unsuccessful attempt, the additional voices were not as welcoming as his own that day. But that could have also been the few glasses of whiskey he consumed barely an hour prior, to settle his frustrations over it all morning. He didn't intend to turn back to the whisky, but he was more than angry about having to re-pick the fangs from the Fanged Geraniums again after almost losing a finger, the previous time.

Today just was just not working in his favor.

"Make it quick. I have brews I am required to tend to in a timely manner, " Severus spoke rather impatiently, suddenly feeling a slight tug on his robes. Looking down, he found Teddy bundling up the robes within his grasp, seemingly fixated on the softness of the material, "Will you stop yanking on my robes, child?!"

With a now giggling toddler at his feet, the child was clutching a piece of crumpled parchment within his hold.

"Teddy, show Severus what you did, " Harry fondly placed a hand on Teddy hair, and lightly ruffled the dusty-brown locks. Teddy blinked up at Harry, suddenly looking a little nervous, "It's okay. He won't bite – right Severus?"

Harry shot Severus a cautionary glare, leaving the man to draw in a large breath to subdue the rising disturbance within him, and led them further into the dimly lit house. Little Teddy bit his lip, curious as to the looming man standing over him. Severus twisted his lips into a small sneer as if to challenge him, but the child was hardly deterred. The little imp found him amusing and that annoyed Severus more than words can express.

Harry frowned a little warningly, "Severus – "

Growling a little under his breath, Severus soon retrieved the object from the child and rolled out the color-stained parchment up to candlelight to reveal the colorful mess within. It was all but a quick glance, not caring to pay any attention to it, "This was the cause of the temper tantrum?"

"You barely even looked at it, " Harry responded disappointingly, "He spent the last few days working on it. At least try and be a little nicer about it…for him. You can berate me, later."

Severus was simply not in the mood for this. There was another tug at his robes, until Severus shot the child another darkened look, "What?"

Innocently, Teddy scrunched up his little face, "Can I wear it?"

"No."

"Pwease?" Teddy blinked up at Severus, hugging his owl closer to his chest.

There was no mistaking the slight look of disappointment on Harry's face and Severus didn't expect that to sting as much as it did. Harry brought the child to see him, and Severus couldn't help but appear cold and highly dismissive. He just couldn't help it. Old habits were hard to shake, especially in front of the two before him, sons of the two who heavily affected his life. There was a strange anger that bubbled within him, and he couldn't quite ascertain if it was just another usual bad day, or the whisky talking. Either combination was bad, but that day, Severus just wanted to be left alone and did not want to be dealing with these unfamiliar, uncomfortable formalities.

What in Merlin's name was he supposed to do?

Severus was in two minds, but eventually he peeled off his travelling cloak and gingerly handed it to the child, "Fine. I want it returned in one piece. No rips or dirt, and for the love of Merlin, no more glitter. Understood?"

Teddy's face lit up in delight as he nodded, retrieving the black cloak, and bundling it up against him like a warm blanket. Eventually Teddy ushered a slightly timid 'thank you, Sev'us', wrapped the cloak around him several times and wandered to the lounge room to sit quietly with his owl plushie.

Watching as the child sneak away, Severus sharply turned to Harry in all seriousness, crossing his arms tightly across his chest, "Today is not ideal."

"He just wanted to see you, sir. What else was I supposed to do?" Harry's face fell, "After you left that evening at dinner the other night, all he could talk about was hearing you play with the piano."

"I was keeping the cretin occupied."

"I know, but – " Harry paused, glaring at the man before him. Placing his hands in his pockets, he shifted lightly on the spot, "You're going to hate what I'm going to say, but…I think he likes you."

Severus looked repulsed, "I beg to differ."

"It's not as bad as you think. He's comfortable with you."

"He has absolutely no reason to be!" Severus snapped, feeling a strange tether snap within. What a ridiculous notion – no young child should ever feel anything positive about him. The thought alone made him feel as if his insides turned to mush. It was repulsing, and vile. Severus didn't even have to try and repel the child, because his feelings towards him was not a façade. So, he couldn't understand why the child was still drawn to him.

And Severus hated it.

"Teddy is usually really shy with new people, but he has been fine when you're around, " Harry tried to explain, but Severus could tell the Gryffindor was getting increasingly frustrated with him.

"Maybe he requires more time with those his own age."

"He goes to day nursery twice a week just so he can play with other kids, but the minders tell us that he often sits by himself, usually by choice. He doesn't really engage much with them."

Severus pursed his lips, "All children are different. Do not force him if he does not want to engage."

"I know that but there is only so much Andromeda and myself can do. Do you think it has something to do with, oh I dunno, the werewolf side of things?"

Severus raised an eyebrow, "Does he have cravings for raw meat?"

Harry had to pause and think for a moment, "Err...No."

"Unstable moods around lunar cycles?"

Harry shook his head, "No."

"Fangs? Ears? A tail?" Severus smirked a little darkly.

"What? No. Very funny. I mean he is a Metamorphmagus like his mum, but he hasn't worked out how to change to animal features yet…"

"Then it appears he did not inherit the lycanthropic gene after all."

"Well, that's a relief, " Harry's shoulders appeared to relax.

"Indeed, it is. A werewolf toddler would be highly problematic, " Severus felt a little relieved as well, in all honesty. Brewing Wolfsbane for a small child was not exactly a part of his retirement plan and having to deal with his father in the past was worse enough. He had no more patience to deal with a wolf who forgets to ingest the potion designed to make their transformation nights easier.

Harry leaned against the doorframe, "Yeah, I think being a Metamorphmagus is complicated enough. We had to educate him on picking a look and sticking with it, so we can recognize him."

Severus' lips pinched at its corner, "Nymphadora all over again. I had to teach her too, you know."

Harry tried hard to stifle a grin, "I hadn't even considered that."

Just as he was about to respond, Severus soon felt another tug at his trousers, looking down to find Teddy holding up the cloak. "You can have it back, now."

Severus himself hesitated, seemingly lost for words.

Harry smiled lovingly at his godson, "That's really kind of you, Teddy."

Severus observed the cloak handed to him and was surprised to find it untainted and undamaged. Shockingly, the child was careful with it, despite the new crinkles he'd have to fix later. He could only nod and watched as the child darted back into the sitting room to occupy himself with something else. But Severus caught Harry's lingering gaze elsewhere, who was frowning at the bottle of whiskey upon the kitchen counter. The younger man looked disappointingly back at him.

Severus clenched his jaw, knowing full well alcohol still plagued his breath. But he did not care, "Spill it, Harry."

Harry clenched his jaw, noting the serious look upon his face, "You're going hate what else I'm going to say."

"All the more reason for you to disclose it to me."

" ...Don't get mad. Please. I genuinely mean well with this. Sir, I – " Harry quickly averted his gaze in time for Severus to notice the sadness behind his eyes, " – I really think you should...see a Healer. Or a counselor. Or something…"

Severus' face went as white as chalk and Harry immediately knew he had made a huge mistake. The man's nostrils flared and there was something within his dark eyes that flashed unlike he had seen before. Severus felt anger, enraged, even. Something deep within him felt betrayed and the idea of having that kind of help was repulsing to his own pride, as if he was being handed directly in the Janus Thickey ward at St. Mungo's.

The room fell silent. Painfully silent. Severus' heart beat strongly with his chest, and it felt so loud that it might be possible for another to hear. He felt his breathing grow shallow and irregular. And within the rising, alcohol-induced temper within him, he bared his teeth and his nostrils flared.

"That is quite enough, Potter."

Harry winced at the seething rendition of his surname, and he knew this was not going to end well because he knew a fit of unmanageable anger simmered within him. "Sir..."

"How dare you, " Severus' voice turned icy cold as his lips quivered, and Harry appeared frightened for the first time in a long time, "I will not waste my time with a stranger to attempt to rationalize my problems, least of all to someone who has never endured what I have had to...You, Harry...You of all people should understand why I cannot lower myself to such a task! You of all people should understand that I do not reveal myself so casually to someone who does not know!"

"What about me?" Harry spoke timidly.

Severus snarled a little too venomously, "Not everything is about you."

"No, what I meant was...me. If you won't go to a Healer, then you need to confide in someone else. I want to help you like you've been helping me. You can't get mad at me for holding back when you are doing exactly the same. That is not fair play."

"Fair?! Our situations are far different, " Severus spoke through his seething teeth.

Harry gave a heavy sigh, "Are they, though? Are they really? You, me...We can relate, can't we? Only we know. That's why I come to you for advice because I feel comfortable sharing things with you. More than I do with Ginny, sometimes. Why can't you feel the same with me? And none of this pride and dignity rubbish. I want you to remain honest and real with me."

"I thought I have been nothing but honest with you? What more do you want from me?"

"Sometimes, I don't think you are. Sir, it kills me to feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm scared, Severus. For you...for me..." Harry's whispered voice trailed off and there was no mistaking the hurt behind those familiar green eyes. His hand flung helplessly to the liquor on the kitchen counter and it was at the moment he knew the scent of stale whiskey plagued his breath. There was no hiding it now.

Severus paused for a moment, feeling his head slightly buzzed with the liquor tainting his senses, "Only time can tell. I, myself, feel inadequate to provide any further assistance to you."

"Why?"

"Because you have others who can give you what you seek. I cannot..."

Harry threw his hands up, frustratingly, "I consider you family, Severus. Why can't you accept that?"

"Family is not a concept I warm up to so easily. Whatever that implies for me."

"Then start with me, " Harry pleaded.

Severus shook his head, "...You clearly fail to understand."

"Well, the only family I have are the Dursleys, and I can barely count them, can I? We've both lost people..."

Severus thinned his lips, feeling the anger within him begin to rise again. But he did not like where this was going, so he had no choice but to try and put a stop to it. He couldn't deal with this anymore, and this was the only way, "Time for you to leave. We're finished here."

"No…no…" Harry stubbornly shook his head, "Every time I come here, you appear to be drinking again. You have to stop this – "

" – Leave, now."

"So you can go back to drinking into a stupor, again?! It's no wonder your memory potion is not bloody working, because you're probably too drunk to get it right – "

" – Enough of this!"

"You know I'm right!" Harry's voice began to rise and now he looked furious.

"Harry, I have had it up to here with your persistent coddling! You have no idea what it's like!" Severus' voice seethed and his voice was getting louder and louder. He pointed to the door, "Take the bloody irritation of a child and get out now…leave me be – "

There was a sudden choked cry from the doorway and Teddy stood close to them with messy tears running down his face. As soon as Harry and Severus stopped in mid-argument, they looked at the child who then bolted immediately away from them, clearly upset, and frightened with the ordeal.

Severus' heart skipped a beat when he realised which room the child had run to, "No! Not there!"

But they were not quick enough for the speedy child. There was a loud crash in the other room, followed by wailed, painful cries. Without a second thought, Severus and Harry burst through the potions laboratory to find Teddy on the floor, surrounded and covered by an exploding mess of glass and hazardous liquids. A light violet vapor began to rise from the new concoction and Severus quickly drew his wand and vanished the smoke as quickly as he could muster under his breath.

Harry threw himself on the floor, quickly peeling away the sizzling clothing revealing fresh burns on the child's skin, "You didn't close off your lab?! Blimey, Severus!"

Snatching a small pot off the shelve, Severus dropped to the floor beside Teddy, "You're supposed to be watching him! Not my task!"

"I gave you notice!" Harry snapped, but Severus noticed the fear within the Gryffindor's eyes, as he tended to his injured godson who was still crying in pain. Harry had since retrieved his wand and cast a water charm, dousing the child in a scrambled attempt to wash away the hazardous liquids off his skin. Teddy was choking with sobs, watching as Harry scooped him up into his arms and sat him on the wooden bench to further tend to him. "It's alright, Teddy, shhh…We've got you…"

Severus' hands were shaking as he applied burn salve once the child's skin had dried, "It's not my responsibility to child-proof my home."

"That's not the point! You had things brewing in here and you didn't think to, oh I dunno, close the damn door?!" Harry snapped.

"Don't get angry with me, Potter! You're the guest. Have some respect!" Teddy's cries grew louder, and Severus noticed the child recoiling and wincing with every harsh word that spilled from his mouth. And suddenly he had the sickening feeling that Teddy had never been shouted at before and Severus had to be the first one to do such a thing.

"Hey, I'm not just a guest!"

Severus angrily grabbed a vial of simple analgesia and thrust it against Harry's chest for him to take and give to the injured child, "Take the child and get out. We're finished here."

Harry picked up Teddy and held the child as he wept into his shoulder, "I-I can't believe you, Severus. What the hell are you doing?"

"You're not visiting me in my home, take your eyes off the child, and then explode in anger at me when he hurts himself!"

"That's not the point – "

" – That is very well the bloody point!"

Harry swore under his breath, thankfully masked by the child's muffled cries, "You know what? Fine! I'm sick of worrying about you when you refuse to do anything about it. I'm doing my best to be here and you are throwing it back in my face!"

"Then leave and stop wasting my time."

"Wasting your time?" Harry clenched his jaw stiffly, "Is that what you think? You wouldn't be like this if weren't getting drunk all the time. Fine then, I'll leave. Good luck finding someone else who gives a damn. I'm just done."

"Worry about your own affairs…I will only drag you deeper into my own."

Harry's jaw dropped in shock, hesitating for a few moments, "I can't believe you are still thinking this way. You know, it won't kill you to be a little more optimistic."

"I might just - " Severus was quick to stop himself, knowing full well he did not want Harry to know how he truly felt. How his own dismal thoughts ravaged his mind so viciously that death itself was becoming more appealing by the day.

No, Harry couldn't know this. He just couldn't.

" - What?"

"Forget it. Just leave me be. Go away, " Severus' voice trembled, knowing full well the damage was already done.

The Gryffindor stood at the door, lingering with his eyes peeled at Severus in all of his shock. Teddy was still crying on his shoulder, "Fine. Just remember, you did this to yourself. I-I just can't deal with this anymore..."

Harry departed angrily, slamming the door behind him and suddenly his world became cold, silent, and empty once again.

And then it hit him.

…You miserable fool. You did this with Lily, and now her son…

"…It happened again, " Severus whispered in the sharp silence and the overwhelming darkness around him. There he stood alone, enveloped yet again by his own guilt and hating every bit of himself all over again. The familiarity of it all hurt him deep within his core, and it ripped him apart.

All he does is ruin things. He was his father all over again. Maybe the world was better off without him.

How do you conquer a monster without becoming one?

…What have I done?

April 12th, 2002

[Harry Potter]

Harry was still furious with what went down at Severus' the previous day and even Ginny was extremely hesitant to approach him this time as if she were going head-to-head with a mountain troll. As soon as he arrived home, he shut himself away for the remainder of the day after spending the last hour trying to console a hysterical Teddy and healing his wounds to the best of his ability.

He was angry with himself, of course, but he was far angrier with Severus and his escalated behavior which made matters worse. He was only trying to help him by suggesting some sort of magical intervention or therapy that went beyond what Harry could do. But the stubborn man refused, sending Harry's nerves into further overdrive causing the situation to completely blow up beyond both of their control.

How could something that meant well, spiral into something so disastrous?

Severus snapped and Harry realized that perhaps suggesting such a thing was a terrible mistake. But Harry himself was just as stubborn and he didn't want to admit that immediately, fuming at the man's inability to accept additional help. No, he was determined to blame the man this time and could only do so much for him.

Harry could smell the stale alcohol on the man's breath with every fired word.

On top of that, Ginny had later informed him that Andromeda had been feeling more ill and she had been going back and forth between her to ensure she was being looked after. Despite Andromeda's illness taking a further turn, they were still nowhere near concluding what was happening to her. Amidst Harry's current stress, everything was becoming a little more overwhelming. He was even afraid to show himself with Teddy so soon, in fear of snapping at him much like Severus' drunken-fuelled outbursts had done.

Everything was just such a mess.

The following day, Harry rose up early and took himself to his little sanctuary - his private piece of solitude to clear his mind. He looked at the elixir rather distastefully and left it untouched at his bedside, without the stomach to even attempt it that day. Still angry with the events of the previous day, he ignored Ginny's concerns again and departed their home. He needed to cool off after another sleepless night, as remnants of the previous anger were still simmering within him, and did not want to accidentally snap at his wife. He had been trying to convince himself that he was justified in his fury, and yet the more he thought about it, the worst he felt about the whole situation. The whole tirade could have been avoided if he simply kept the idea to himself.

But Severus didn't see it as intended. The idea of the Healer was meant to help him, not make things worse. Perhaps Severus presumed Harry was being condescending or mocking the man's struggles. The man didn't want to admit that he was struggling and thus blew up in anger when Harry made it known to him. But it wasn't fair on Harry because he was simply trying to help. It was Severus who was being unreasonable.

And to top it all off, Severus refused to take any responsibility over Teddy's accident. The event itself still left Harry reeling, and the image of a hysterically crying Teddy flooded his mind so horribly.

Poor Teddy…

To Harry's relief, he was able to soothe some of the child's burns and give him something to numb the pain a little. The child's skin was thankfully, on the mend.

Eventually, Harry convinced himself to return home and finally face his wife. She needed to know what happened and how it all spiraled out of control. Once he walked through the door, he found Ginny sitting idly on the couch, simply waiting for him to walk in. There was an awkward exchange between the both of them and a bubbling of his own nerves when finally, Harry took the seat beside his wife.

"So, " Ginny finally spoke, "Are you going to tell me what the hell happened yesterday? I'd like to know why my husband went to Severus' in a good mood and came home looking like he's ready for a duel to the death."

With a deep breath in order to calm himself, Harry proceeded to tell her what had happened, and he was still bitter about the ordeal. He couldn't help but retell it a little angrily, because really, the whole thing was absolutely shocking for him. Deep down he was mad with Severus and his attitude with it all, but more so disappointed that he chose to blow up in anger about the suggestion. Then everything went horribly south from there.

Admittingly, it did hurt. He couldn't remember the last time they had an argument like that.

After Harry's rather monumental and furious retelling of the events, Ginny shook her head in dismay, "Well, that answers that question."

"I hate him!" Harry said, angrily.

Dismissively, Ginny shook her head, "No, you don't. You hate what happened, not him."

"I should have just left him alone…I should have just kept telling Teddy no…" Harry droned on, clearly unable to keep the same train of thought. All he could think and feel was how livid he was, and his anger had not quite simmered down yet.

Ginny raised her eyebrows, rather warningly, "He's been unwell, you know that."

"Well, so have I!" Harry scoffed, throwing his hands up, "You're taking his side over mine?"

"No – oh, for goodness sake, Harry – calm yourself! It's not about sides. It was obviously the wrong time to bring that up with him, " Ginny responded firmly, "Listen - you're both good and horrible to each other – don't deny it."

Harry's jaw dropped, as if he had just been slapped in the face, "You can't be blaming me for this?"

"No, no, I'm not. Just listen to me. Really listen. Take some time to step back and I'm sure he'll need to do the same, too. Look, Harry - " Ginny looked upon Harry sternly, reminding Harry of Molly once again, "- You should have been watching him. It's not Severus' job, but yes, he should have at least ensured the place he was safe from a curious, quiet kid like him. The way I see it, you are both to blame. What had happened, could have been far more disastrous. You're lucky he only ended up with burns that could be treated immediately with his remedies. Just give it time, and when you've got your head screwed back on, go and apologize to him."

"Me? Why do I have to be the one to apologize?"

"Harry, you're not fifteen anymore. You should not leave on bad terms, especially not with him. Like always, give him, and yourself, time to cool off. You're both annoyingly dense sometimes."

"I'm sorry – "

" – I'm not the one you need to apologize to."

"I know, but…I messed up again, didn't I?" Harry ran a hand through his hair, feeling his heart beat harder within his chest in its attempt to settle. He felt ill, "Oh, Teddy…How the hell am I even responsible enough to look after a four-year old? When the time comes for us to have our own, I'm going to be bloody useless."

"We all learn from our mistakes. No matter who we are. And you're not going to be bloody useless. Don't you dare think like that. Harry, it's all going to be okay – " Ginny offered a small smile, but Harry could only appear more dismal, "It's a learning curve, and you have to own up to your own mistakes too and not just blame someone else because it's convenient."

"Ginny, I'm just…I don't know. I'm not myself."

"I know, my love. I know. And neither is he. Yes, he has a drinking problem – that much is obvious. I could tell at dinner the other night, that he seemed a little, well…glassy-eyed. I just think you may have gone into it a little too forcefully. You know how sensitive and easily frustrated he can get."

Harry's shoulder's slumped, feeling utterly defeated, "So, what the hell do I do now? I'm not apologising because I offered him extra help. I'm still furious with him."

"For one, give him some time to cool off. And yourself for that matter. You're both still learning how to communicate, because it's still quite new for the both of you. You wanted to reach out so badly to him as you missed out on that kind of relationship with Sirius. Maybe, just maybe, Severus was a little overwhelmed with that, " Ginny paused for a moment to regain some semblance of composure, "When you feel ready – and mean when you feel ready - go and see him. Talk with him and set things right. Calmly, Harry. Now's not the time to be so hot-headed, especially not with him."

"Do you think I've properly messed things up, Ginny?" Harry spoke quietly, feeling the weight of his wife's words weighing so heavily upon his conscious. Now he felt like a right git.

"I think…he hasn't quite accepted that he really does have a problem and is reluctant to ask for help, " Ginny casually leaned forward on her knees, staring at Harry empathetically, making him feel even worse about himself, "I know he means a lot to you, but you have to be a little more patient with him. And I'm sure he's working on trying to be less of an arse, but obviously that hasn't worked well for him. Old habits are hard to break, especially for someone like him."

"I suppose."

"Give it a little more time, Harry. Alright? Teddy is napping in his room, the poor thing – I applied another bit of salve earlier with a side of hot chocolate. You might need to have a chat with him about Severus. He cried when you left this morning."

Harry bit his lip, worriedly, "I'm not looking forward to that."

"Well, you better start. You might have to give the same talk to our future kids someday."

Harry swallowed bitterly and nodded. He still felt a bit angry where Severus was concerned, more so because the man failed to see the sincerity of the offer to help. Severus, amidst his own wounded pride, took it the wrong way and assumed it was of ill-will. That is what angered him the most. But fixing that fracture was another issue entirely. Harry was afraid to step foot back there and face him after his outburst. Well, their outbursts. Both unfortunately made things worse and caused Teddy's accident.

Ginny was right – again. He went into it too forcefully. He should have been more patient and thought it through a little better, rather than blurting it outright. In doing so, he may have harmed his relationship with Severus, and that hurt Harry more than words could ever express. It's not what he wanted.

In his bid to remove that memory from his mind temporarily, he drew in a deep breath and exhaled it gently, "How's Andromeda?"

"She had another appointment with her Healer today."

Harry closed his eyes, "I can't believe this is happening."

Ginny reached for Harry's hand and clutched it tenderly, "You're stressed. Hogwarts is drawing closer for you, Andromeda is sick, Teddy…Severus…You need to try and deal with things one at a time, alright? You have far too much on your mind."

"Yeah."

Ginny tenderly caressed his fingers and Harry shamefully lowered his head. He was quite a mess, and felt incapable of dealing with his problems, as much as they were stacking up against him.

Clenching his jaw slightly, Harry pushed himself off the sofa and wandered off to his room, leaving Ginny behind and abandoning the rest of their conversation.

As much as Harry didn't want to admit it sometimes, both he and Severus were stubborn to a fault and could easily trigger one another. Although Harry tried to empathize with the man, he was still angry about the entire ordeal and how much Severus was willing to throw it all away. The years he spent trying to mend things and set this right, seemed to blow up so quickly, and so severely.

Despite his anger, he was disappointed in him more than anything. Harry only wanted to help him further, and yet Severus was unable to see reason. The man couldn't understand that Harry was trying to help, not hinder. And the thought of Severus presuming the worst cut Harry's heart deep. He didn't want to see Severus go down that path. He knew he needed help, and Harry tried his best to do so. But it all fell upon deaf ears and as simple as he wished it was to deal with, it merely wasn't.

Throughout the last few months, Harry was almost desperate to hold onto that relationship as best as he could. But in doing so, further damaged those threads connecting them together. Harry always had hope that Severus would overcome this next hurdle, but now he wasn't so sure. Ginny, of course, blamed them both. As much as Harry was a little annoyed that she also berated him for it, she was right. As always.

Was it true that he was trying to compensate for the loss of Sirius, his Godfather? He hadn't really thought of that, but Ginny seemed to point it out with ease. Clearly, that didn't seem obvious to him at the time, but deep down, he was trying to reach out to Severus like the Godfather he wasn't able to truly have. Sirius had been ripped away from him, leaving him without family once again. With the prospect of having Severus in his life now, perhaps he saw it as another chance to reach out to someone with almost the same familial bond. Harry was overly hopeful, of course, often yearning for the things he missed growing up. And he had only wished Severus would embrace the idea of having a family, even if Harry Potter was one of them within his life. Perhaps the only person in his life.

He had to figure out how to fix this but had no idea where to start.

But he needed to take a step back for a while, and with Andromeda ill and Teddy to look after, he had enough on his mind. He couldn't help but allow his mind to wander back to another conversation he had with his wife a while ago – she told him sternly that he was not responsible for him. As much truth as it was, Harry couldn't help but feel responsible. The course of Severus' life after the war was heavily influenced by Harry. But of course, in those dire few months after, did they both eventually begin to see eye to eye.

Perching himself on the edge of the bed, Harry leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. He needed to breathe and decompress. Far too much had happened recently, and he needed to try and deal with things one by one. As much as it hurt him within, he needed to forget Severus for a moment. Teddy needed him right now, as did Andromeda, and he was going to do his best to juggle it with Ginny as his supportive guide and voice of reason. One of them had to at least stay sane, and it was surely not going to be himself.

Ginny always knew when he was getting overwhelmed and stressed, even long before Harry knew himself. He was burnt out, fatigued, and worried out of his mind.

Speaking of minds, his wasn't the clearest at this point. His eyes occasionally drifted towards the small golden box containing the Resurrection Stone at the stone mantle, tempted by the ethereal power which always seemed to draw him in. In some haunting way, it reminded him of the energy he felt when he first saw the Veil at the Department of Mysteries. It's strange, ghostly presence appeared oddly welcoming and all he wanted was to reach out and call beyond the rift…

Harry's thoughts ceased upon hearing the sudden cries of Teddy in the other room. Glancing quickly at his watch, he knew he was scheduled to reapply the salve again.

Finally pushing himself up from the bed with such great effort, he wandered to the next room to find Teddy curled up with his owl inside his bed. He perched himself on the edge of the bed and slowly brushed away some strands of wavy hair from the child's tear-stained face.

Teddy's eyes, welled with tears, darted up towards Harry. His bottom lip quivered, "…It hurts."

Harry reached for the pot of salve buried within his trouser pocket, along with a vial with a bluish hue, "I know, kid. I'll give you more of the pain medicine, alright? It will help things feel better when I put more salve on you."

The child scrunched up his face upon seeing the vial, and looked disgusted, "That stuff is yucky."

"I know it tastes terrible, but it will help – " Harry pulled back a single sheet, watching as Teddy sat upright. The burns on his arms, legs, and some splatters across his face, were not as angry red and blistering as they were when they arrived home. Harry had been applying the burn salve every two hours, remembering the lecture Severus gave on them while they were stuck in Grimmauld Place together. Harry took the small vial, and with the dropper inside, placed two drops on the child's tongue.

Teddy shook his head and grimaced as if he had just eaten something sour, "Uck!"

"Sorry, Ted. It'll start feeling better soon, I promise, " Harry repocketed the vial and unscrewed the lid to the salve. With a light coat, he began to gently smooth some of the cooling cream over his arms. Teddy shuddered a few times, but as the analgesia kicked in, it was less uncomfortable. Glancing several times into Teddy's tearful eyes, Harry drew in a small breath, "I'm sorry for yesterday, Teddy. Severus was…He was having a bad day."

"He didn't like my drawing, " Teddy sniffled.

Harry paused for a moment, "No, it wasn't about the drawing."

"Why was he so mad? He was yelling a lot, " Teddy hiccupped, as a few sobs escaped his quivering lips.

"He's - " Harry bit his lip slightly, " – He's not very well at the moment and under a bit of stress. I suggested something he didn't agree with, and he got…angry. He shouldn't have, but he did."

Teddy hugged his toy tighter against his chest, "But why?"

"He's a…a friend, and sometimes friends and family fight and say things they don't mean, " Harry moved on to apply small blobs of salve gently onto Teddy's face, "If the friendship means a lot to you, it can be fixed. If you love that person enough, you'd be willing to do anything to try again."

"But why is he so mean sometimes?"

Harry allowed the pause to linger for a while longer, being delicate to approach the question as best as he could and as much as a small child could ever understand, "A lot of people were bad to him when he was a kid and didn't treat him nicely. Not many people loved him, and because of that, he doesn't really know how to show it. Sometimes that makes people bitter and angry. Some people just need some kindness and patience."

"What do you mean?" Teddy sniffled again.

"To be gentle and understanding and say and do nice things for someone. It shows that you care. That's why I wanted to help Severus, which is why I invite him over sometimes. So that he feels less alone."

"That's good, right?"

Harry gave a small smile, "Yeah, it is. When it goes right, of course."

"I want to do something good, too. For Sev'us. So, he's not sad anymore."

Harry's proud smile widened, "That's a great idea."

"He doesn't look like he likes anything, though."

Harry laughed, "There are a lot of things he likes; he just doesn't like people to know. But deep down, he's really not all that bad. He can be funny, knowledgeable, and helpful. He just needs people to be patient with him while he sorts some things out. He's often usually grumpy, though."

"Sometimes you're grumpy, too."

Harry reached over to pinch the child's nose playfully, "Cheeky bugger. Yes, I suppose I do get a little grumpy as I did with him, I suppose. But it's not a bad thing. It's normal to feel a little angry sometimes. We just have to be there for people when they feel better, even if that means giving them the space they need. If we don't give them a chance to be better, then it's not fair to judge them."

Teddy appeared to crease his brow in thought, upon ending in a single large nod, "…Okay."

Harry gently brushed a bit of the child's hair away from the salve on his face, before he re-screwed the lid and set it aside, "Don't be scared of him, Teddy, alright? He's mad at me, not you."

"He shouldn't be mad. You wanted to help, and he yelled really loud. I don't like it when he yells."

"I know, Ted. I'm just giving him space right now. You have nothing to worry about."

Teddy tilted his head slightly, "I hope he feels better soon."

"Yeah, I hope so too, " Harry wished he was as optimistic as Teddy was at that moment, "Alright, try and get a little more rest, okay?"

"Okay, " Teddy nodded again, staring up into Harry's eyes, "Thank you, daddy."

Fighting back the pooling of joyous tears in his eyes, Harry fondly ruffled the child's hair. "I love you, Teddy."

Kissing the child on the forehead, Teddy crawled back under the covers snuggling once again with his owl. He exited the room and wandered back to his own, with a warm smile plastered on his face.

He couldn't believe it.

He called him dad.

April 13th, 2002

[Harry Potter]

"Harry, wake up!"

Harry jolted out of his sleep with a shock, with his mind still a jumbling mess from envisioning Voldemort again overnight. This time he was seeing Voldemort standing in Teddy's room, staring at the sleeping child in his bed. He was frozen to the spot in a full body bind, watching helplessly as Voldemort edged closer and closer until his clawed, paled hand reached out to touch the child. He couldn't speak or scream, and whenever he opened his mouth, nothing could be heard.

That is until Ginny's voice knowingly pulled him out from that horror.

Harry sat upright, watching in confusion as Ginny was racing around the room. With Voldemort's hissing in Parsteltongue still echoing within his mind, he rubbed his forehead where his still-faded scar lay, under his messy hair out of habit.

"Ginny, what is it?"

"Opal just flew in with a letter from Andy – she's at St. Mungo's."

Blearily and still half-sleep, he heavily blinked several times, realizing it was still a little dark, "Appointment?"

Ginny hurriedly threw on a beige jumper in her hasty attempt to get ready, "No, admitted!"

"What?!" Harry's heart seemed to beat faster within his chest, now following suit as he rolled out of bed and threw on whatever items of clothing he could find.

Waking Teddy up gently, he told him they'd be going to see Andromeda. He had already sent a letter the previous night telling her about the potions mishap with Teddy, which he felt terrible enough to disclose to tell her, but at the time did not know she was sicker than they thought. He didn't want her to have Teddy show up in hospital with some strange red welts on his skin, much to his own guilt. But he re-applied another dose of the salve as he was helping Teddy get ready in their bid to make haste. With his owl plushie, Harry picked up the child and departed the household with Ginny close behind.

They quickly made their way to St. Mungo's in all of their own rush and panic, hoping that she was being well-tended to. But he knew of all places she could be, the hospital seemed to be the best place for her at that time.

Finally alerting one of the many busy Healers in dashes of their lime-green robes, they were eventually directed to the second floor passing multiple rooms filled with sick witches and wizards. In some distant rooms, they could hear a baby crying.

Leading Teddy anxiously by the hand, they made it halfway down the corridor to a room labeled Andromeda Tonks. Glancing with bated breath at his wife, he pushed the door open to find the woman lying under a thin white sheet facing the window filling up the room with the pale early morning light. Andromeda's skin was so pale and devoured of color, that it matched the sheet that covered her. At her bedside was a single lit candle and her wand sat dormant beside it. Upon the small creak of the door, Andromeda shuffled in her bed to look at the newcomers and it was then that Harry truly saw how ill she was.

Andromeda's dark hazel eyes were sunken into the gauntness of her sockets, reddened by her tears. Her lips were pale, sickly, and cracked. Some speckles of dried blood were seen caked under her nostrils. Her hair was unbrushed and roughly tied into a side plait away from her face. Her cheeks usually flushed with pink, were no longer shaded as they were as all colors had left her skin. She appeared weak and fatigued, and her face was evident in the recent drop in weight over the past few months. The sheet itself further highlighted the bones now prominent on her frail body, unable to be covered by the large coats she often wore to hide it.

Harry couldn't help but remember how deathly Severus was during his own illness, and Andromeda's did not seem much different. It felt like a horrible sense of déjà vu.

The woman's mouth twitched into a small smile of relief, but she had no effort for anything else.

"Andy – " Harry's heart dropped, when he first glimpsed the porcelain-skinned woman snuggled amongst a single sheet. Sweat glistened in the dull candlelight at her bedside, but the woman continued to shiver.

"Gramma – " Teddy ran towards the woman, watching as Andromeda held him so tightly. Her face was buried into his tiny shoulder, and Harry observed as she clutched hold of his jumper not wanting to let him go. The pair turned to face each other, allowing them to have that moment. Andromeda eventually pulled back, planting several gentle kisses on the child's face, but Teddy appeared innocently confused.

Teddy had no idea what was happening.

"I'm so relieved you are all here, " Andromeda whispered; her voice croaked as if she hadn't used it in a long while, "Apologies for the wake-up call. I wasn't initially planning on sending an urgent owl, but things took a bit of a turn."

"Nonsense. I'm glad you told us when you could, no matter what the hour, " Ginny's eyes widened with worry.

"It's not like I have many others to inform, " Andromeda gave a weak shrug. She then turned to Harry, speaking in a desperate hoarse whisper, "Harry – I need to talk to you alone – I just…please. Urgently."

Harry held onto his breath, soon turning to Ginny who nodded solemnly in understanding. He watched as his wife quietly took Teddy by the hand and ushered him outside until they were completely out of earshot. Harry turned back to her, swallowing down bile as he did so, knowing full well he was not going to like this at all, "What's going on?"

It was then Harry could see that Andromeda clutched a handkerchief tight within her grasp; her eyes still reddened, "It's not looking good for me, Harry. The Healers still don't know what it is, but they've not given me long…"

Harry shook his head, not wanting to believe a single word, "No, Andy, this can't be – "

"I know. I know, Harry. I feel absolutely wretched. I took myself here where my fevers spiked high last night. Their diagnostic spells detected a large mass in my head…It's growing at an alarming rate…They said everything is shutting down…I can barely move my toes…" Andromeda gave a loud sob, quickly throwing her palm over her mouth to muffle the sounds so that her grandson beyond the door could not hear.

Harry slid his glasses up onto his head, and rubbed his tired eyes, "I can't believe this…I refuse to believe this…"

"I don't want to, either. But this is serious and had I had known that was why I was getting so many headaches and dizziness, I'd had been more cautious - " Andromeda pulled a rolled piece of parchment at her bedside and slid it to Harry as much as her weakened arms could do so, "Please, read this and sign…This mustn't wait…"

Frowning, Harry took the parchment and extended it, allowing his eyes to skim through the inked text. His heart sunk deeper, "Andy, what…?"

"Please, " Andromeda pleaded in all but a hoarse whisper, "I want Teddy officially in your care."

"I can't sign these adoption papers, no, there has to be another way!"

Andromeda's lips quivered, "There isn't. You must look after him. Dora and Remus elected you. I know he will be safe and loved in your hands and you've been so wonderful to him. You are an amazing Godfather and I trust no one else with his care. I'm dying, Harry. I can no longer be there for him in the time that I have left."

Harry brushed away a fallen tear with the back of his hand before he picked up the quill. His hands shook and with a disheartened nod, signed away on the dotted line enabling himself to be Teddy's official guardian.

Andromeda reached for Harry's hand and clasped it for dear life, "Thank you, Harry. I appreciate this more than you'll ever know. This brings me great relief."

Resting his other hand on hers in comfort, he nodded sadly, "I'll bring Teddy back in for you."

Nodding with tears streaming down, Andromeda squeezed Harry's hand, "Please."

When Teddy and Ginny entered the room, Andromeda urged the child the sit beside her, holding him close to her. She brushed away some of his hair, taking in every innocent feature upon the child's face she raised when he was a tiny infant. Once Andromeda finally composed herself, she addressed the child in a tone so soft, Harry could only imagine Teddy falling asleep to it when she'd read to him. "Teddy. My dear, sweet Teddy…You're going to stay with your Godfather from now on, alright? I – " Andromeda's eyes welled with tears again, giving herself a breath-filled pause, " - I have to go away for a long time. I will not be here, and Harry will look after you for me."

"Did I do something wrong?" Teddy said, clutching his toy tightly against his chest.

Andromeda shook her head, "Oh, no, you never could. Sweet boy…No. I'm very sick, and I…I won't be here anymore."

"Where will you go?"

Andromeda glanced quickly at Harry, bringing the child closer to her, "Someplace else. But I will see you again, I promise you."

"Why won't you get better?"

"Some people can't. No one knows why. It just happens sometimes."

"But you have me and Ginny to look after you now, " Harry interjected quietly, "We'll keep you safe."

Harry and Ginny spent most of the day with Andromeda, keeping her company as the Healers dashed in and out of the room during their timely checks. There were times when Andromeda slipped in and out of consciousness, and each time Teddy called her name to attempt to wake her up as if she had taken a quick nap. Eventually, the child curled up beside her in bed against her chest, leaving Harry to stare at the floor still in shock. He felt Ginny's comforting hands rub circles on his back throughout the ordeal, but his shaking hands remained clasped together to hide his grief and sadness. Sometimes they left Teddy alone with her, leaving Harry and his wife seated in the waiting room in agonizing silence.

He hated this so much. He couldn't stand the emptiness and grief from what was going to happen. He had felt this way before when Severus was on his deathbed, not knowing if he was ever going to survive. That feeling of hopelessness carried over and once again, Harry was unable to do anything to help.

And once again, another person in his life was about to leave him.

This time, there was nothing else he could do.

Harry had heard word that Andromeda reached out to Narcissa, and upon her request, her sister made the hasty dash to St. Mungo's to be with her during her final hours. He nodded towards Narcissa in acknowledgment once the Malfoy matriarch arrived, despite the small bit of animosity still residing there. But there were no words spoken between them, leaving the other remaining Black time to be with her dying sister and the only other chance she'd ever get.

When the Potters returned home with Teddy that evening, Harry spent most of the remainder of the day in his room, refusing to leave. He was upset more than words could describe. He was angry. Hurt. Broken. Numb. Ginny tried her best to comfort him, but nothing could soothe the pain deep within.

Another loss – another person ripped away from his life.

As the clock chimed one in the early hours of the night, his sleep was disturbed by a small barn owl clutching a letter with the St. Mungo's seal on its side. His hands shakily took the letter and watched as the owl flew off back into the starry night. Ginny sat up beside him, and Harry gently peeled the letter with shaky hands and received the expected dreaded news that struck his core.

Andromeda Tonks passed away peacefully in her sleep, with Narcissa by her side.

Informing Teddy of the news was the hardest task of all.