BlueWater5: There are many parallels with how bullying is handled here in relation to the real world. There is never quite enough done for those subjected to it, and this arc will find a resolution to that. Severus has the influence and experience Harry and Dawn don't quite have. The War did create a rift between Severus and the Slytherins, since in their eyes, Severus seemingly 'betrayed' them.

Thank you Zeugma412!

"Overcoming the guilt from your past choices and mistakes, is often the hardest part of moving forward, "

– Joe Duncan

CHAPTER 26: Rough Edges

October 27th, 2002

[Severus Snape]

It took a few days for Severus to recollect his thoughts from his disheartening conversation with Cyrus Hastwell. His Fifth-Year student had told him enough of the troubles within the house, and issues that have been ongoing since the end of the War.

Severus felt angry. Frustrated, even, that no one else dare to lend their assistance. He knew for a fact that Minerva and Dawn had both tried and yet failed. He knew Horace was turning a blind eye, and other students and teachers casting metaphorical stones at them. It's no wonder Slytherin House had been struggling for years. There was no motivation, no drive, no ambition. There was no more initiative, and students were barely sound enough to get through their classes. They were secluded, withdrawn, and lacking any real communication with their own Head of Slytherin.

But now Severus knew some of the reasons why even they were hesitant to approach him. Did they presume he'd turn on them, or something? He still had so many questions, and so far, Mr. Hastwell was the only one who was able to answer even a few of them. Of course, Severus still needed to do a little more investigating, but it was a little demeaning knowing his own students still saw him as an enemy or someone who cared so little for their wellbeing, or even someone who simply saw them as a burden.

They thought he betrayed them.

The fact is, he did care. He cared a lot about the dire predicament they were in, because he knew what that felt like. He knew was it felt like to be a part of a House forever shunned and tainted by prejudice, Dark Arts, and blood purity. He knew that was not all that Slytherin was. And he will be damned certain to ensure that Slytherin regains the positive virtues that made them great and diminish their dark and muddied reputation that was glued upon their serpentine image. The days of Salazar's original ideology must be removed, and Severus was going to do his best to ensure his Slytherins were supported in any way possible, despite most of them still feeling resentment for him. That didn't matter so much to him, as long as they were placed on a better path, and he didn't care if they hated him for it.

Tough love, much to their dismay. Because he didn't want another Bulstrode incident on his conscious.

The other Houses – although historically also had dark wizards amongst them – weren't tainted with the same prejudice as Slytherin did. Those dark wizards were recognised and removed, leaving those House members able to move on. Slytherin didn't have the same assistance or support in order to do that. Most of the House comprised of people who had Death Eater family members, or Voldemort supporters. They didn't have much of a choice, and those that didn't fit into those categories were shunned, condemned, even tortured, and eventually forced to comply with 'the Slytherin way'.

Some even faced death.

It was such an absurdity, and something needed to change.

Dawn had since departed that morning again, racing to yet another Auror meeting, leaving Harry in charge of the Fourth Years. Severus himself had a free period and decided to stop by the classroom to poke his nose into Harry's teaching. He listened in on the door, hearing Harry lecture them about counter curses. This wasn't the first time he had eavesdropped on Harry's classes, but during the times Dawn was away, he did so to keep an eye on him. He couldn't help it, though. Despite Harry now being a young adult, Severus sometimes still saw the fourteen-year-old boy cast into the terrifying maze set up in the Third Task of the Triwizard Tournament, or the twelve-year-old wandering the Chamber of Secrets alone. In his eyes, he still saw the young boy messing about in Potions.

Those days now seemed so far away.

Leaving Harry to his own devices, Severus wandered down past the courtyard where the plaques of the Fallen Fifty were aligned on the wall. But it wasn't limited to those who lost their lives in the Battle of Hogwarts. No, there were additional names here too. Students and teachers that were once at Hogwarts who had lost their lives since the mark of the Second Wizarding War, resided here along with them. Cedric Diggory was the first.

There was a portrait that Severus had been avoiding for such a long while and no matter how much courage he thought he had, he just couldn't wander down there. He couldn't face her, despite it being an imprint of the departed. Perhaps one day he'd summon enough courage to do so, but today was not that day.

Turning away from the many familiar names which still haunted him, he pushed open the doors to the outside courtyard and drew in a breath of cool, fresh air. There was a slight chill in the air, and he knew winter was almost on its way again. Bunching his cloak closer to his body to keep himself warm, he took notice of Minerva sitting by the fountain in the sunlight that had just pierced through the grey clouds.

"I refuse to brew Pepperups for you if you fall ill, Minerva, " Severus barked amongst the breeze, with the smallest of smirks at the corner of his lips as he approached.

Minerva beamed once she saw him approach, "You're outside between classes? Heavens, I should mark this monumental day."

He rolled his eyes, "A rarity, and will not be a habit, I assure you."

The Headmistress rose from her perch and slid in beside Severus, looping her arm around his own, "Walk with me, Severus."

Much to his dismay once she grabbed his arm, the pair began their slow walk in the empty courtyard between sunbeams, which was welcoming to his bitterly cold bones. He didn't often venture outside when not teaching, as he mostly spent time either in his private Potion lab or in the Library. Occasionally he traveled to the forest to collect his own ingredients, but that was purely for work, not pleasure. But there was a measure of peace being outside without a student in sight.

He felt her hand squeeze his arm lightly as she spoke, "How are you settling, Severus?"

"Barely settling at all."

"You're handling it better than you think."

Severus tilted her head towards her, "Am I? I barely know what I am doing anymore, Minerva. Everything is different now, and you know me well enough…I don't do different."

"Well, of course, it is, " Minerva spoke in reassurance, "The War is over and now we live with a new sense of normalcy. We are all still healing, albeit slowly."

"Healing is…painful, " Severus responded, rather bitterly.

"Indeed, it is. I wouldn't expect anything else, " Minerva responded, quietly, nodding in agreement, "…And Harry?"

Severus looked away, not desiring on sharing with her his troubles that he had discussed on confidence, "Managing far better than I am. Still troubled, but we are dealing with it."

His heart skipped a beat when Minerva squeezed his arm again, "Things will get better."

"Everyone keeps saying that, " Severus mumbled frustratingly under his breath.

"And that is a terrible thing?" He felt a gentle hand rub his arm, "You need closure."

Severus bared his teeth, "There's no closure in returning to the one place where most of my problems resided."

"The circumstances are different now, Severus. You don't have Albus, or Voldemort, breathing down your neck, Death Eaters, and their families to appease, and protecting Potter from danger anymore."

"What do I get out of it?" Severus said, frustratingly, "I don't see how my return will help current matters. My own students no longer trust me."

"A chance to help others in the same position you once were as a child, " Minerva eyed him sternly, with those icy blue eyes, which twinkled almost the same as Albus' used to, "…Do not think for a moment that I have forgotten."

"You never knew the half of it. Not even my own Head of House did."

"I know enough."

"You expect far too much from me. Wretched Albus presumed the same."

Minerva stopped walking and faced Severus directly, "I am not Albus. You know that just as well. Or have our seventeen years of working together meant nothing?" Severus stood rooted to the spot in silence. Minerva continued in the softest voice so no one in the vicinity could hear, "I trust you, Severus. I trust you to lead these children and assist to ease their fears. You have an opportunity to turn a life around, if not theirs, then yours."

Severus felt conflicted; his mind was turbulent with thoughts and emotions he didn't want to feel. But he did his best to keep them at bay in front of his oldest friend, "…This is beyond me."

She shook her head, "No, it is not. Harry and I can see your capabilities."

Severus cast over a venomous look, "You wanted me here to see my capabilities?"

"No, " Minerva said again, much more firmly, "Potter and I…We had been worried about you for quite some time. We couldn't bear to see you hurt yourself and fade away when we know you could do so much good here. Whatever happened to second chances?"

"I'm alive."

Minerva paused, almost sardonically, "…That's it? But what have you done with your second life?"

Severus eyed the woman, speechless. He couldn't even give her an answer. He hesitated. Every time he opened his mouth to speak, not a word could be spoken.

Sensing his disarmed response, Minerva reached for his hand and held it together within her aged ones. She gave Severus a warm, hopeful smile – one that he could have sworn he had seen Dawn display before in the library, "You can heal if you simply let it. For once in that irrational mind of yours, allow us to help you. We can do more here for you than we ever could before. Sometimes I still see the young Slytherin struggling to fit in."

Severus scoffed dismissively, "And look where that landed me."

"On our side, " Minerva smiled again, this time with such exuberant pride, rubbing Severus' hand before she let go, "Thank you for accompanying me. I much prefer this than confining myself in an office full of nosey portraits."

Severus snorted under his breath, "I do not envy you."

"Enjoy your day, Severus. And for goodness sake, stop worrying so much, " Minerva picked up the hem of her black robes and made her way towards the castle doors, disappearing out of sight.

Severus stood outside for a few moments in the same spot she left him and closed his eyes.

These bloody Gryffindors are going to be the end of me.

Despite the bitterness there, he knew deep down that she was right. As was Harry, and even Dawn.

He had to try. He had to push away and deal with what was bothering him and move forward. But how could he move forward? Or closure, as Minerva so put it. He vaguely remembered Harry mentioning something of the sort several years ago when he had offered for him to accompany the Gryffindor to Lily's grave. That seemed like so far away now, but Minerva was right.

What has he done with his second life? Absolutely nothing. A published book that was shot down by Rita Skeeter twisting the will of the public. A promising career squashed by the same vile woman. The public was still wary of him. An undeserved Order of Merlin. Failed projects…He felt it was so much wasted on him because he had nothing of value to offer. He felt, once again, useless. His own Slytherins could barely talk to him.

They were afraid of him.

But something had to change. He had to do things differently and step out of old habits. Neither one of them was the same since the War, and that could be both a good and bad thing. But it was far more challenging for Severus, no doubt – to enter a new life throwing away old morals and ideology, which were ones he had spent most of his life adhering to, and blindly following masters who had led him to do such terrible things. And now here he was, with a concluded War, no mission, no ambition, no life much worth living…Nothing.

And yet those Gryffindors still had faith in him. Obviously, they could see something within him that he could not, and the thought frightened him senseless. He wanted to know who he was. Not what others presumed him to be. The others thought of him as some paragon of good, but he was far from it. He still lived his life as a pariah. He allowed his bitterness to overtake him with anger, and guilt riddle him with problems that were so ingrained within his core, that he didn't know how to be anyone else. The idea of being someone different scared Severus very deeply. Already his atonement and reconciliation with Harry Potter had already changed him in a sense and opened up his heart to something else he had never felt before.

But to further change?

What if he became worse, or reverted back to his old ways? What if he was incapable of change? It hurt to think of the possibilities and in Severus' mind, they were never good.

Finally opening his eyes and willed himself back to his harsh reality, he ventured back into the castle and chipped away at his project a little more in the silence of his space. At least that helped him to calm his mind somewhat and focus on other things that weren't on his bleak future.

Harry was set to arrive for the first Occlumency lesson – after their previous failed attempt – but Severus felt uneasy with it. Perhaps the idea of it being a repeat of their last problems appeared to unsettle him, so instead, he decided on a change in scenery. Minerva appeared to have the right idea, so he decided to take that into stride.

Harry,

Meet me at the tower at seven.

I figured a change in location would be a wise decision.

…We need not a repeat of our previous.

Do not be late.

Severus S.

With a wave of his wand, he watched the small piece of parchment flutter away into nothingness, and it was sent to Harry wherever he may be.

Once his Sixth-year lesson had ended for the afternoon and the evening feast concluded without any significant dramatics except a quickly ended food fight at the back end of the Hufflepuff table, he hastily departed and made the not-so-tedious journey to the Astronomy Tower. He used to find the walk rather tiresome, but now he found it helped to clear his mind as he ascended the tallest tower of the castle. The longer the walk, the more time he had to think through things. Of course, sometimes, this was not always a good thing, but it all depended on his day.

It was a place of many memories, both significant and personal. Most all involved a dear friend in one form or another. Of course, Albus' death was the most recent event to have taken place there, and sometimes he had to wonder why he continuously chose to return to that location. Perhaps it was the idea of it being his and Harry's new sanctuary of sorts, and not the tower of doom, which had Severus forced to rethink. But he also remembered taking Lily here in his first year to admire the horizon, when he discovered she was afraid of heights. Of course, he had no idea and by the appearance of it, neither did she.

They ended up laughing about it in the evening feast, but the memory of Lily in absolute awe of Hogwarts' beauty was a vision he could not erase from his mind. He didn't want to. Those were innocent times and a part of him wished he could go back and change how things turned out. Mourning for a life he never got to live, was the hardest thing of all to face.

He arrived much earlier, as per his usual, taking a few moments to admire the scenery by himself before he heard the heavy, clumsy footsteps of Harry ascending the spiral staircase behind him.

The Gryffindor climbed the last step, taking immediate notice of Severus, "I was surprised to find you deciding we do the lessons here."

"Honestly, it came as a remarkable surprise to me, also, " Severus motioned for Harry next to him, "Sit."

Harry walked over and perched beside him on the stone bench, holding two warm flasks and handing one to Severus, "I made a detour."

Eyeing the flask with curiosity, he took it and allowed his nose to waft over the steam from the top, "…Peppermint tea."

Harry smiled, "With a dash of honey. Just as you like it. I figured it would help calm both of our nerves. I don't want the first lesson to be a disaster."

"Only a Seer could foretell that."

"Please don't mention Seer, " Harry winced, "They don't always have all the answers. And if they did, they are usually spoken in riddles no one can bloody comprehend."

"You are more than aware that I should know that better than anyone, " Severus said, bluntly and unamused. He very well knows how that ended to be.

Harry lowered his head, sheepishly, "You're right, sorry, " He sighed, and a small comfortable pause happened between them, "You know when Sirius died and I wanted answers...I eventually confronted Dumbledore about it. I, ah...trashed his office. I was angry. Furious, even."

Severus raised his chin slightly, "So I heard."

"I blamed everyone for it. Him...You. I just couldn't face what had happened, and I was in denial that it was also my fault. I wanted out. I wanted it all to end...I-I just had enough."

"I didn't help matters."

"No…you didn't. But you were right, of course. Life wasn't fair."

"No, Harry. It wasn't, " Severus struggled to look Harry in the eye. He paused in thought for a moment, allowing his own pain-stricken eyes to wander over the darkened horizon. Stars soon glittered in the newly lit sky, and it brought upon a strange sense of peace. Severus continued, almost in a daydream, "Grief isn't always sadness. It's anger and rage. It's emptiness and feeling suffocated in reality. It's trying to swim to the surface when an anchor is fastened to your ankle. The world passes you by and you realise how stuck you are. Grief is unapologetic and can never be resolved overnight. Only dealt with little by little in its own time. But we all deal with it differently."

"How did you deal with it?" Harry responded quietly.

Severus eventually glanced back at Harry, meeting those emerald eyes that meant so much to him, "Still dealing. As much as I detested taking the post of Professor, I threw myself into my work and kept your reckless adolescent backside safe and alive. Giving me something else to occupy my mind and helping me to cope with it…It was all I could manage. Mourning can take such a terrible toll, with no duration...Grief is, essentially...the love we cannot give after those we love, leave us."

Harry smiled sadly, "That's kinda beautiful, sir."

Severus glared at Harry with a look of cold warning, "Tell not a soul, I said that."

"You should express words like that more often, and I don't mean just to me, " Harry nudged Severus lightly on the shoulder. He never thought in a million years a strange gesture such as that, would give him an odd sense of comfort. All those years ago, no one dared to go near him.

Severus snorted, "Dawn said the same thing to me last week in the staff room. Told me I'd be far more approachable to my students if I was friendlier and learned to smile more. The audacity."

Harry was clearly amused by that, "She's not wrong, you know..."

Now it was Severus' turn to nudge back harder, earning a chuckle from Harry, "Now to more pressing matters. I gather you have enough initiative for me not to reiterate to you exactly what Occlumency is?"

Harry blushed slightly, "No, we can skip that."

"Good, " Severus continued, "Now if you so wish, I can offer you the use of the Pensive."

Harry shook his head, "I trust you with my memories. There's nothing more I care to hide."

"Are you certain? No embarrassing blunders, or misfired spells, or accidental intrusions, failed dates – " Severus smirked at that last one.

" – Severus, just get on with it."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, " Harry shook his head, appearing a bit dismal about the whole thing, "I'm not exactly thrilled to be doing this, and I'm sure you're not exactly thrilled about it either."

He was correct on that one. Severus continued, "It must be at least attempted. My potion may not be successful for several more months, years even…This should not wait. The longer they are lost, the harder it is to retrieve them."

"You still want me to clear my mind?"

"It's a wise place to begin, " Severus sighed, "I never thought I'd ever have difficulty breaking into the Chosen One's mind, rather than instructing you to block me out, previously."

Harry appeared to nervously fumble with the edge of his sleeve, "I'm just as stunned about that, actually."

Silence fell between them, and as they looked at each other, soon realised how difficult and challenging this was going to be.

He could see the wariness on Harry's features. The dark rings under his eyes told him of more sleepless nights, stress-inducing nightmares, and the new wrinkles of worry he had since formed atop his brow. Under the messy dark hair was the faintest line of a lightning scar, telling more of a history than he ever dared to comprehend.

"Envision your sanctuary. Your new one, if it so applies. Or here. Wherever will do, as long as it brings you some measure of peace, " Severus spoke, softly. There was a strange sense of intrigue guiding Harry into a melancholy headspace when the pair of them sat atop of the Astronomy Tower at night, in the tower closest to the stars. It seemed to be such a fitting location for such lessons, and admittingly, Severus never thought to ever seek solace here.

Severus watched as Harry closed his eyes, but the Gryffindor was still tensed up, "Relax your shoulders, Harry. Stop tensing."

"I can't help it, " Harry mumbled.

Eventually, after a little more coaxing from Severus, Harry was able to relax his body as he sat idly upon the stone bench now facing him. Severus waited several minutes until he was sure Harry was deep within his headspace. Then, he quietly withdrew his wand as if not to disturb him.

"Ready?" Severus whispered and received merely a single nod in return. He drew in a deep breath, and pointed his wand directly at Harry, "…Legilimens."

It was such a strange feeling, having been thrown into an attempt to burst into Harry's mind. Severus' own head felt like rocks weighing upon it, and the feeling of being thrown into a metaphorical stone wall was a curious experience.

In all his years of trying, he had never had so much difficulty doing so before. He had previously pierced Harry's mind multiple times during the War without consent, and the ease of that was like summoning a single flame. Like diving your hands into a body of still water and grabbing a pebble.

But now. Now, it was like picking through ice with only your fingernails.

Ice. Very fitting, Potter.

Severus could hear echoes all around him but could not distinguish the words. The sounds around him were dull, and he could hear the faintest sounds of Harry breathing somewhere behind him. But still, he could not break through. It was an odd feeling and could feel a slight chill amongst his skin. He knew his own body shivered.

He had to wonder what it was like for Riddle to attempt to break into his own, and what he found when he tried. Severus also had to wonder if everyone's headspace was different, and that alone, was an interesting thought. He had always envisioned a room full of treasure chests and trapdoors, but he wasn't sure if that image was conveyed to Voldemort, or it was something only he was aware of.

Occlumency was always a strange branch of obscure magic.

But this felt different. Occlumency was shielding thoughts, emotions, and memories, yes, but it was also re-planting falsities in the forefront like baring only the cover of a book. But he found nothing of the sort there. It was a dense wall of nothingness, and he knew behind it, memories were secured there. Hidden, but they were there.

Opening his exhausted eyes once he pulled out of Legilimency, he watched as Harry soon opened his own. Those emerald eyes appeared saddened and yet shadowed. Severus did not give him much of a hopeful look – he couldn't help it. In response, Harry's shoulders dropped, and he looked as disheartened as ever.

"What did you feel?" Severus had to ask.

Harry's brow crinkled in thought, "….Nothing. Well, I felt a little cold, but I just presumed it was because we were up in a tower. I felt like you were there, but you were faint."

Severus clenched his jaw, "This will take some time, I hope you are prepared for it."

"No luck, I'm guessing?"

Severus shook his head, feeling like he had let him down, "Not this time."

After Harry swore in frustration, Severus tried again. But he hit the same wall of ice without progress, and that left Severus confused, and even frustrated himself.

This is going to be far more challenging than he originally perceived it to be.

October 30th, 2002

[Harry Potter]

"Now, which one of you can tell me what a Dementor is?"

Harry had been dreading this class for a while now, and it was such an effort for him to remain as passive as possible during the lesson. The Fifth Year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws sat quietly in rows, as Dawn Rheingold took the mantle at the front, lecturing the students on what they know.

On the blackboard were strings of Latin he couldn't decipher, and on the projector screen, were images and paintings of Azkaban prison, surrounded by a sea of lashing waves. He allowed Dawn to take this class in its entirety because he wasn't sure if he could truly stomach it yet.

"…Dementors were used to guard the prison since the fifteenth century…." The firmness of Dawn's explanation in her Welsh accent droned on in the back of his mind, but he couldn't quite focus.

He knew what Dementors were. He knew the fear they instilled, and the fears that could resurface such painful moments in his past. Harry had faced so many encounters with them, even after the war, but it never got any easier. Dementors were horrid, ghastly creatures that should have never existed. After the War most had been rounded up and replaced by Aurors, once Kingsley took hold as Minister, but never all of them. Ron had told him of a faction of Aurors dedicated to apprehending the stray ones, but they were difficult to find. The thought of some of them lurking out there in the wild, scared Harry more than he ever dared to admit.

"Since the fall of Voldemort in nineteen nighty-eight, Aurors were gathered to round them up and relocate them elsewhere to contain them with various charms and stationed Patronus guardians…"

Of course, the class of Dementors would eventually lead to lessons about Patronus', but all Harry could think about was the dire situation in which they had to be used. Both Harry and Severus had to utilise them when they were rounding up rogue Death Eaters, and those situations alone sent shivers down his spine. There were far too many close calls, and the thought alone made him feel ill.

Harry could feel his stomach in his throat, and his face paled in his recollection before he realised Dawn had been calling his name.

" – Harry, " Dawn called to him, as she wandered to his corner of the class. She must have instructed the students to take notes on the slides because they were scribbling away with their quills. But some of the students were looking up in interest as to what was happening with their teachers.

Harry blinked heavily when his mind ventured back to the present. He swallowed rising bile, "I-I'm fine."

Clearly looking unconvinced, Dawn looked at the clock and then back to the class. Straightening her posture, she clasped her hands in front of her, twirling her ivory wand as she did so, "Alright, class. Finish up in five, and you may leave early. We can continue this next lesson next week."

Once the students finished their notes in the silence of those passing five minutes, there was eventually a mad scramble when the class slowly disappeared out of the door.

As soon as the last of the students dashed out of the door, Dawn turned to find Harry lowering himself down at one of the students' chairs, "Are you alright?"

Harry brushed a hand over his face, but he felt like his heart was racing from adrenaline when a small panic began to settle in, "I-I'll be fine."

Dawn placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently, as she sat down next to him, "I should have sent you out of the class for this one."

"No, no. I can't just leave, " Harry sighed drearily, "Sorry. I didn't expect to freeze up like that."

"Ironically enough for what I was lecturing, " Dawn's voice softened, and seeing her blue eyes widen in deep concern, "It's difficult to revisit painful times in our pasts, and at times, they can hit us so suddenly."

"I suppose, " Harry looked up at Dawn, grateful for her understanding, "Thank you for not scolding me for it."

"I don't mock anyone for their suffering, least of all you, especially, " Dawn answered simply, "And Severus, to be frank."

"When he accepts it, " Harry gave a small chuckle.

"Severus listens to you."

"Not always."

"But you seem, well, close. If that's the right word for it."

"It's...complicated, " Harry gave a half-hearted shrug. Far more complicated than she could ever imagine.

Dawn leaned back in her chair, "I'll bet. His role in the War is practically public knowledge now."

"There is a lot of personal things we keep between us, so he's very particular on who he trusts it with."

"Well, fair enough, of course. He just always seems, well...unhappy."

"Yeah, well, you try dedicating most of your life as a triple-agent, watching comrades tortured or killed in front of you, and give up any hope for a life he could have led without all of this - " Harry responded starkly but soon realised he came at her a little too harshly with the answer. He drew in a breath to calm himself before he continued, "He had nothing to gain and was completely prepared to die. The ramifications of it all wounded him deeply, and despite the victory, he is yet to find happiness again. Whatever that means for him. And I feel like it's my fault."

Dawn gave a hearted smile, exuberating a fondness through her soft features, "He means a lot to you, doesn't he?"

Harry's eyes stung with slowly forming tears and he hated himself for it. He didn't want to get emotional, least of all in front of his mentor, "Yeah, he does. I feel guilty for not making his job easier, but I wasn't to know what he was doing. We've both been through a lot even after the War. I at least, have supportive people. He didn't have many at all, and I didn't want him to suffer with that alone. After everything he's been through, he deserves something good. He deserves someone who won't give up on him. And right now, I'm the best he has."

"You keep him well-grounded, " Dawn spoke firmly, "And he needs that. It's so easy to lose ourselves, but we cannot make it through on our paths alone."

Harry nodded in agreement, "Yeah."

Dawn gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder and rose up from the chair, straightening her usual plum robes as she did so, "Now, go and take a break. We have a whole hour until our second years. You'll need your stamina for that one."

"Thank you, Dawn, " Harry responded a little meekly and watched as she departed his company.

He liked Dawn. She had a strong sense of authority, and yet a softness underneath that she often showed. Although she at times appeared to berate you, she was friendly in her approach and as helpful as possible. One thing he noticed about her, is that she was careful to ensure the students were on the same page. If ever she noticed one fall behind, she would pace the class and wait for them. She gave everyone an equal chance, and that was something Harry loved to see.

But she was patient. Incredibly patient. And she appeared to have some sort of sense for another person with an understanding and empathy that was rare. In a way, her wisdom reminded him of Luna, as she had a deeper way of seeing things. She was open-minded, yet never broke away from her beliefs. Sometimes he'd forget how important her advice was and how she never hesitated to take charge when necessary. However, she was a little too outgoing even for Harry, sometimes.

Leaving the now empty classroom, Harry wandered down the corridors towards the Headmistress' office, passing a quickly scurrying group of Ravenclaws. He managed to deter Peeves and unstick another Gryffindor to the wall as he passed, hearing the maniacal laughter from the poltergeist as he left. With that mishap mended, he continued on his way, ascending the familiar stone steps. Minerva had sent word to him earlier that day to see her and give her an update on his teaching progress. With the additional classes, he was able to teach solo with Dawn's quick departures, he felt confident that she'd be satisfied with his thoughts. But of course, Minerva wanted to ensure that he was coping well with the workload. He knew that Neville appeared to be handling the teaching better than he was, which didn't quite come as a surprise, but it left Harry feeling a little behind in his dedication to becoming a teacher. But otherwise, it was going as well as he hoped for.

The moment he stopped by the oak doors to the Headmistress' office, he could hear enraged shouting from the other side.

…Oh…Severus.

Wincing at the thought of what may be happening, he pushed the door open to find Severus arguing with the portrait of Dumbledore. Minerva, as he could see, was pacing the office and wore the most irritating glare she could muster in her bid to step in between them. Clearly, that was not working very well.

Severus was undoubtedly furious, "You told me nothing, Albus! You expected me to guess your vague plan using whatever cryptic nonsense you conjured! I was mauled by Nagini! You cared not for my life, but your string-pulling to ensure I ended yours and passed off vague information to Harry."

Meanwhile, Dumbledore sat comfortably in his painted golden chair, "I assure you, Severus, that I had every intention to guarantee your survival. What happened, was an unforeseen event."

"Not good enough! I was expendable to you!" Severus spat.

"You were my most valuable and victory could not have been achieved without you."

"Most valuable?! I was not an asset, Albus! You never once considered how I felt. How I was handling it all. I wasn't, Albus! I wasn't handling it, " Severus was clearly seething between his teeth, and even Minerva looked afraid to approach him, "You gave me an impossible task...you groomed Harry Potter for death! We were both your puppets. Your sword and shield!"

Harry winced at his name. Not exactly the conversation he wanted to barge in on, but there was no going back now. Minerva had spotted him, and her arms dropped helplessly to her side. Her tired, wordless expression told him all he needed to know.

Dumbledore sat quietly, calmly, and unbothered, but Harry did not expect much else from a portrait, "I am deeply regrettable of your concerns, Severus, but there was no other way, " He gently steepled his fingers, "I do not know what you are expecting of me. What's done is done and I am saddened by the lives we lost. However, one of my biggest regrets is not giving you a chance to live a better life. I took away your freedom, your will, your peace. The task I entrusted to you, consumed your days. I didn't make the effort to ensure it any easier for you."

"...No, Albus. No, you didn't, " Severus whispered, as his body shook.

Finally summoning up the will as if he was approaching a wild animal, Harry placed a hand on his shoulder, and spoke gently, "Severus, let's go..."

Angrily shrugging Harry off, Severus stormed out of the office and slammed the door shut earning remarks of disapproval from the nearby portraits.

Albus bowed his head, looking rather teary-eyed as he met Harry's worried gaze, "Harry, please ensure that he is alright."

Harry looked back at the portrait, grimly, "I always do, sir. He has me, now."

"I am relieved to hear that, " Dumbledore sighed, "I hope you know that I simply had no other choice. It was War, Harry. But now...It brings me warmth to see you both so close now. I have always hoped for it to happen, but sadly, not in the time, I was alive. You need each other."

Harry nodded, "I-I know. I'm just relieved we both made it. We look after each other. But you have to understand his anger. You really didn't make it easy for him, sir."

"That, I know. I will never ask for his forgiveness. He alone should make that choice if it so helps to ease that burden from him."

"Give him time, sir, " Harry said quietly, and he looked to Minerva who looked upset and quite obviously, heartbroken.

Not hearing another word, Harry quickly left the office in search of Severus. Something in the back of his mind warned him that he shouldn't be by himself. The last he needed was for him to find a bottle of whiskey somewhere, or worse…Harry really didn't want to think too far into it. Right at that moment, finding him safe was his highest priority.

He stopped by Severus' office and quarters, and then moved back to the Astronomy Tower and then to the Room of Requirement, only to find all empty. Bracing the cold and the newly settled dusk, he followed the familiar path to the Thestrals in hopes to find him there.

With great relief, he could see the light of the silver doe illuminating the small break in the trees. And against the tree, he saw the dark, hunched form of Severus sitting idly, alone. He wasn't sure if the silver light of the doe highlighted Severus' skin, but he appeared a little paler than before. With the faint light that surrounded them, he noticed Severus' eyes cast downwards. It was then when Harry shuffled to sit next to him, did the man flinch as he came back from his anger-induced reverie.

It was a long time until either of them spoke. But Harry noticed Severus' once-panicked breaths ease and finally able to calm down.

"Don't worry about what he said, sir, " Harry's voice croaked amidst the silence, "Dumbledore is dead. The real one."

Severus could only nod. He knew this. But with something as almost lifelike as a magical portrait, it was difficult to differentiate the two.

There was a shuddered breath from Severus, "He doesn't understand."

"I doubt he ever will, " Harry eyed the doe and smiled at the comfort and safety it brought them both. He knew how much the doe meant to the both of them and he was glad this spark of light was the one to ease their troubles at that moment. But then he remembered what date it was, "It's mum's anniversary tomorrow. Would you like to come with me?"

"If you can tolerate my miserable company, " Severus said.

"As much as a thorn I am in your side?" Harry smirked, a little cheekily.

Immediately, Severus seemed to be far calmer than he was in the Headmistress' office. The pair ended up sitting outside for an hour speaking of mundane things, with a roasting fire Severus had conjured for them both. They weren't yet ready to venture back to the castle.

Around them, the Thestrals wandered and amongst them, was the glittering, silver doe.

November 8th, 2002

[Severus Snape]

Since the visit to Lily's grave the week before, Severus had been feeling as if a shadowed heaviness weighed upon his shoulders. He wasn't sure if was the recent disastrous Seventh Year lesson on migraine remedies which ironically, caused him to have a migraine, or it was something else entirely. It felt like his energy had decreased and he knew it wasn't the additional hours he spent in his potion's lab with his brews. He knew he had been getting an adequate intake of fluids and that he was eating well enough. Harry made sure of that on some days.

He felt a sickening unease but couldn't figure out why.

Or perhaps it was overthinking his explosive argument with Albus's portrait the week prior which left him furious and equally as frustrated as every other portrait that day. Minerva had since frowned at him, knowing full well he had started it. But Albus' persistent calls to get his attention since his return to the school had succeeded a little too well, and Severus lost control of his anger.

Again.

That heated confrontation was bound to happen eventually.

He couldn't help his short temper, sometimes. It bubbled so quickly, that he could barely get a handle on managing it before words were spat, and people grew offended. But he had been so unsettled with himself, that remaining calm and subdued seemed like a hard-earned effort.

No doubt Severus was jealous of the calming ripples of those around him, whilst he was enduring the turbulent waves within his mind. He was tired of fighting against those waves, and there were some moments when he wished for them to finally take him deep underneath. He had to keep fighting. If not for himself, but for Harry Potter, because who else did he truly have? He just had to stay afloat even for a little while longer. As much as Harry, Minerva, and even Dawn tried to ease his troubles, he himself had to make the effort to help himself.

However that may happen, he may never know.

That morning's Sixth Year Potions lesson with the Slytherins and Gryffindors had started off relatively normal. Of course, still, his own barely managed more than a few words to him unless he fired a question at them. A few of them still looked a little afraid every time he rounded their table, amidst their maddened scribbles of the revision of the Wit-Sharpening Potion which had already commenced on an impromptu quiz.

A few of the Gryffindors also seemed shaken by Severus' constant looming presence and it was beginning to get incredibly frustrating to deal with. At the corner of his eye, he often saw notes being passed around, causing Severus to berate them through clenched teeth. A part of him wanted to humiliate them and read it to the class, but he bit his tongue. He couldn't make it any more difficult than it was already.

Severus turned to face the class, peering down his hooked nose at each and every one of them, "What is the quantity of scarab beetles required, for the potion to turn a scarlet red?" No one raised their hand, causing Severus to frown, "Anyone? Or do you all require a daily dose of the potion in question for any sense to befall you?"

Still, no answer.

"How disappointing. Let's try another, " Severus continued sardonically, allowing those words to roll slowly off his tongue, "After the ginger root is added and the potion turns green, at what direction must you then stir, and until what color?"

Again, no willing participants.

Giving up on the failed interrogation of their current subject, Severus gave a heavy sigh and was about to turn back to the blackboard when a voice broke the silence within the room.

"So, sir…Who did you kill while you were a Death Eater? Did you get to torture anyone?"

Unsure if he heard correctly, Severus turned sharply on his heel to discover one of his Slytherins had posed the blunt question. The almost smug look upon the olive-skinned boy challenged him.

He had noticed some of the other Slytherins give venomous glares towards their fellow courageous – or absolutely stupid – peer, "Very articulate, Mr. Kippers. We are in a classroom, and thus, classroom affairs only. Answer the question I posed or curb your tongue."

"But I don't want to, sir, " The student shook his head rather casually, despite the tension building within the room, "I kind of want to know if my Potions Professor is going to brand us all with the Dark Mark himself, or something. Might as well finish the job, right?"

Oh, the nerve.

"Ten points from Slytherin, "Severus' less than impressed glare was quick to fire.

"Wait – did you just deduct points from our house? Since when have you done that in a classroom - "

" - Make that another ten. A further twenty, if you don't zip it and focus on the lesson before your tongue speaks any more filth. Not another word from you, " And then Severus eyed the rest of the room with such disdain, "Or anyone else about non-classroom affairs. Am I making myself blatantly clear?"

The Slytherins in the room were stunned and the Gryffindors made not a peep. Not even a snigger. Eventually, the students barely managed a nod, before the lesson resumed with the same thick tension as before.

But of course, being Hogwarts, word spread rather quickly. Even quicker than the Longbottom's Boggart incident those many years ago, when the vulture hat mocked him at every turn. This was no vulture hat, but it was rather significant to the school, so It seems. Some of his colleagues were even questioning him about it, in order to confirm it. Well, it wasn't unusual for Severus to take points off his own House. But it was the fact that he did so publicly in a classroom, that really had people astounded.

Severus didn't really see the big deal as he was teaching a lesson even to his own, but even the likes of Filius and even Minerva were in shock at such an open display within his classroom. Gregory simply laughed.

Once lunch had passed, Severus headed straight for the Great Lake in order to procure a few ingredients for his private supplies and somehow calm himself from the odd bitterness of the day. There he sat at the lake with empty jars at his side and clasping the spot on his left forearm where the faded Dark Mark resided, still haunting him yet again. His leather pouch was full of fresh additional herbs, and growing moss at the lake's edge.

He heard a hefty shuffle somewhere in the distance, when eventually the flora parted for the familiar half-giant as he stormed through, with Fang by his side, and behind, was Longbottom.

Bloody wonderful.

"Word gets around fast, eh?" Rubeus teased, "Is that why you're here?"

"I'm here to collect the lakeside ferns, " Severus responded simply, "That is all."

"Fair enough, " The half-giant chuckled, he threw something in the distance, with Fang running a little sluggishly after it.

Longbottom – wearing robes covered in fresh soil – had a plastered grin on his face looking his usual casual self. He gave a small wave, "Good afternoon, sir. I've refilled your jar of shrivelfigs – I noticed it was running low. And you now have a fresh batch of aconite sealed away in your stores, as well. I was helping Pomona with the aconite class, and well…I took the opportunity."

Small frown lines appeared between Severus' brow, "That wasn't necessary, Longbottom."

The Gryffindor shrugged, "Nah, it was no problem. I'll fill them up if they need it."

"You rummage through my stores?"

"Only to see what's empty, " Longbottom smiled, which threw Severus a little off guard, "But don't worry, I haven't moved anything."

Rubeus chuckled at the exchange, "Cut 'em some slack, Severus. He's only helpin'."

Supposedly, it was a decent gesture. He just wasn't expecting Longbottom to do anything remarkably good for him. Whatever happened to the bumbling, nervous fool he last remembered? Severus clicked his tongue and gave a single, almost rigid nod, "…I appreciate it."

"Ye see? All's good and well, " Rubeus smiled.

But Longbottom was still staring at Severus, but not out of fear or even the fact that he was somewhat thankful for the gesture. But he seemed like he was lost in thought, however, the young man's grin was a little condescending.

"What are you grinning at, Longbottom?" Severus sneered and hated the idea of having his solitary time intruded on.

The young Gryffindor shrugged, "Just…thinking."

"Quite a concept for you, " Severus retorted sarcastically.

Longbottom paused for a moment, almost amused. But it wasn't in a mocking way, but it appeared rather genuine, "To think we'd ever end up as colleagues? Who would have thought?"

Well, considering I was supposed to be dead; it is quite an unforeseen turn of events, Longbottom.

Severus didn't answer, instead, watched as the two of them including the aged mutt, walk back to the castle. He supposed it could be worse. At least no one here was trying to hurt or kill him, and that was a remarkable thing unto itself. And at least Longbottom had been respectful towards him, even prior to their strange future as colleagues. But even since assisting with the Order to round up rogue Death Eaters, came at quite a surprise at to the dedication and strength this now young adult had cultivated. He was definitely not the same incompetent Gryffindor he had the misfortune to teach.

But once he realised he was alone, Severus was once again back with his wandering thoughts of the strange life he found himself in.

There was a brief moment when once he was finally alone again, he felt peace beside the gently lapping waters of the lake. And it felt almost like Harry's sanctuary by the ocean. Minimal sounds except for the calming waters and the small birds flying overhead.

Perhaps it really wasn't so terrible.

What an odd, rare feeling.

Peace.