BlueWater5: Severus is quite the asset!

PearlM21: The Potions class was a fun one to write. Remembering one's last moments of death will be tough for anyone.

A5mia: Severus and Dawn are equally as deductive in their intellect. Enough of an open mind to make similar conclusions, and Severus recognises and admires that with her. Even Severus is cautious enough to keep their 'friendliness' a little more subtle. Or so, he hopes. Ahh, Lily…I can't wait for you to read it when it happens!

"Your heart will fix itself. It's your mind you need to worry about. Your mind where you locked the memories, your mind where you have kept pieces of the ones that hurt you, that still cut through you like shards of glass. Your mind will keep you up at night, make you cry, and destroy you over and over again. You need to convince your mind that it has to let go…because your heart already knows how to heal."

– Nikita Gill.

CHAPTER 34: Bleeding Shield

April 10th, 2003

[Severus Snape]

Severus stared at his repulsive reflection in the murky bathroom mirror of his private quarters.

Each scar became a road map across his pale skin. Every scorch mark and every laceration bore a sacred story that only he could tell. Secrets of a past he'd much rather forget. But the markings did not add to his already stagnant image. They made him look far worse. As if he didn't already hate his body enough, those scars further reminded him of how undeniably abused his body was.

He could barely look at himself in the mirror, so how would anyone else dare to see him? The vulnerability of his naked form was barely even for his own eyes, and he hated everything about himself. His limp, oily hair framed his gaunt, pale face. His hooked nose a testament to the mocking he endured in his youth because of it. The harsh lines on his face made him look far older than he was. His thin cracked lips felt foreign to any other. A Mark bearing the remnants of a past that were still painful to remember.

Oh, he hated himself. Every part of his form disgusted him. He was undesirable. Ugly and grotesque in places. His body was thin and lanky, with the lightest layer of muscle known to man. He was a repulsing specimen of a human, which was ironic because he never felt like one.

Who could anyone love an ugly being such as him?

He wasn't sure how much comfort he felt knowing there were a few people still willing to interact with him. Those few meant more to him and knowing he at least had their support was a tiny reassurance to his irrational, self-deprecating mind. His life was full of missteps, sharp turns, and dead ends. It always felt like the moment he was getting his life together, things decided to move backward making him feel more useless convincing himself if it was really all worth it.

Though at least Harry was seeing some improvements during the Occlumency lessons, as proud as he was, at last, there was something good to come out of them.

Lily.

He squeezed his eyes shut. The image of her ghostly form invaded his mind as if she was hovering close beside him. And as if it were him in place of Harry in that moment in time.

He felt Harry's loneliness. His despair. His impending doom. The feeling of knowing you were about to die and give yourself willingly to Death itself.

Severus knew that feeling.

But Lily…

Why am I thinking of her?! Severus, stop this at once!

Severus growled to himself, turning sharply away from his ugly reflection in the mirror and throwing his dress shirt over his head to finish getting ready for the day. He hated that she still plagued his mind. Why was she taunting him so? He couldn't bear it anymore. Her death was partly his fault and yet her mere ghostly presence seemed to mock him still, even now.

But then he thought of her – Dawn. Both women passed interchangeably within his mind.

Why Dawn? Why her?

Snap out of it, Severus.

The thought of Dawn suddenly sent him weak, making him feel strangely warm and light. Why? Surely, he didn't have actual feelings for her. She was a colleague. A friend, even. He couldn't erase the emotions he felt when she was around. With her, he felt comfortable. Safe. Her kindness was addicting. The warmth in her demeanor…

Severus felt conflicted. And yet he felt angry at himself for having such feelings. It felt…forbidden. Uncalled for. It was a frightening, unfamiliar realm. So many things he never truly felt before. He didn't know how he was supposed to feel and yet it all felt so wrong. So out of place. With her, he didn't have the usual detached hollowness of his emotion as he displayed with the rest of the faculty.

But her, however…

He sighed, dismally. He knew he had been through this before. And yet the idea of history repeating itself hurt him deeply –

The sound of letters being delivered to his desk that morning pulled him away from his conflicting thoughts. Slowly buttoning up the last of his robes, he moved swiftly to his cramped personal desk to find Kreacher delivering a stack of letters. He was thankful for the distraction.

"Letters for Master Snape. From the Ministry, " Kreacher croaked.

Severus picked up one and flipped it to find confirmation of the Ministry seal. With an arched eyebrow, he turned to the House Elf, "You may leave." With a pop, Kreacher disappeared with a bow.

Carefully peeling open the letters, his eyes scanned the contents of the cursive writing he was all too familiar with. In Hermione Granger's neat penmanship, was a list of the Wolfsbane potions, their ingredients, quantity, and deadline. Attached to the letter, was a Gringotts check to get himself started. If this was a success, he would earn almost triple that. It wasn't all that terrible, as the deadline made its way halfway through the end-of-year holidays. And as bitter as he was the first time brewing for Lupin, he at least felt some confidence that he knew exactly what he was doing. Except now, he wasn't just brewing for one adult werewolf – he was brewing for the young, adolescent ones. Those who would soon fall under his mentorship in the coming school year.

He had been thinking about this situation for months since he begrudgingly took the offer. It was the right choice, despite how the previous situation soured his own willpower and patience. Now at least, this side project will keep his mind busy for a while.

Setting the letters aside to finish later, he made his way to breakfast – one of his rare morning appearances, in time to see Dawn greet him with an acknowledged smile from the other side of the table. He was usually careful not to convene with her too much in public. Students were known to talk, and rumours spread rather quickly. He simply didn't want things to turn into something it wasn't and preferred to keep it civil.

Dawn was the first to smile at him in the mornings. The first to greet him. The first to talk to him.

And admittingly, he found an odd sense of comfort in that as if for an ounce of reprieve, he was searching for that little flicker of light to begin his day. To think she had any interest in him whatsoever enough to engage with him so willingly despite his moodiness, was almost unfathomable. His mind wandered to his conflicted feelings and repeatedly, he tried to convince himself that she was just a friend. That was it. Ignoring her now, felt wrong. Unwarranted.

She meant well. It felt genuine and not a ploy because she wanted something. And for a rare moment in his life, he felt like she was someone he could truly trust. If that were at all possible. But with Dawn, something felt calm and assured.

Her presence had been the one to seek out his lonely, shadowed soul.

Later that evening once classes were over for the day, Severus had since retreated to his quarters after discussing pieces of her case with him. The pair had been huddled in the library, away from curious eyes, sifting through tomes that could possibly help them decipher the strange illusion charm.

"What do you make of concealment runes?" Dawn had asked at one point, face within a velvet-covered tome.

"I gather the runes can easily be uncovered – " Severus responded, without peering his own gaze from the book he was clasped onto, " – but the seal can be easily broken when the runes are shifted even slightly. It does not bode effectively for shifting environments, like the earth beneath our feet."

"Good point. Very good point, actually, " Dawn sighed thoughtfully, flipping a page before resting upon them with folded arms. She stared wistfully at him, "Perhaps they work the same way as wards? They must, right? A ward can conceal a large area and can remain invisible to eye unless a magical eye knows it's there."

"It's possible, " Severus met her quizzical gaze, "Must it work on a day or night cycle? Time specific, perhaps?"

Dawn paused, tilting her head in thought, "I've never thought of that. Well…No, it can't be. The victims we found don't correlate to the strange creature deaths…"

Severus' eyes narrowed, watching the slow realisation on Dawn's face by her own words, "You presume they are related?"

She looked speechless, seemingly in a state of her own shocked revelation, "I-I don't know. It all feels so very similar…Doesn't it? I know you sense it too, Severus. Something is not right here."

Oh, yes.

Severus knew something was deeply wrong. They spoke of the similarities of the presentations of the Muggleborn victims and the strange behavior of the creatures in the forest. Surely it could not have been such a coincidence. Both sets of victims were touched by the illusion charm, but something else was at play. Something much darker and unforgiving.

After hours of debating by candlelight and empty mugs of tea and coffee with deep discussions of the possibilities, he departed for the evening to rest his wary mind. All he could think about was how disturbing this charm was described to be. Nothing made sense and yet Dawn was right – there had to be a connection between the strange deaths in the Forest, and the Muggleborn deaths. The method of which both occurred were too similar to ignore. Of course, they could also be only a mere coincidence and two separate things. But Severus felt something nagging within his mind not to ignore them.

And he was reassured that Dawn felt the same way. They were on the same wavelength, much to Severus' relief. He seemed to ascertain her train of thought and yet she was able to keep up with his without question. She was sharp and logical, yet open-minded and quizzical. Some of those traits are those Severus found particularly engaging.

It didn't take long until his peace was disturbed before Severus had a chance to change into his nightwear.

Frantic pounding at the door to his quarters echoes throughout his residence, causing a small headache to build between his brows. He knew Harry had access and Dawn never knocked like this, it caused him much confusion as to whom it could be. Finally reaching the door, he opened it to find Longbottom panicked and out of breath.

"Ugh, - sir - " Longbottom's voice was breathless, gasping for air between words, " - Harry's having - a panic attack - or something - we need you there - "

Severus tapped at his sleeve ensuring his wand was with him, attempting to keep a sense of composure as his stomach lurched, "Where is he?"

"His quarters - I don't know what to do - "

"Follow me and keep up!" Severus wasted no time in bolting out of the door, with Longbottom close behind.

Severus had never run so fast in his life and the closer he was to Gryffindor Tower, the more his heart thumped anxiously in his chest. It had been so long since something like this happened, he already forgot how sickening it felt. How horrifying it was to know the suffering was still there, and that Harry was still experiencing these setbacks much like he was.

When he finally reached the front of his door, he burst through to find Harry hunched over on all fours on the ground, gasping through sobbed breaths with his owl Godric squawking in distress in the corner. With every precious moment, Severus dropped to the floor in front of him clutching his shoulders in a reminder that he was there.

"Harry, sit up -"

Harry's pained sobs sounded exhausted with each murmur. His fists clenched in his panic grasping at Severus' robes, and he had difficulty raising his head. When Severus tried to shift his position, he shook his head.

"Sit up, now. Do as I say - "

Severus managed to pull Harry onto his knees, feeling Harry clumsily grab his upper arms in his desperate bid to keep himself upright. The Gryffindor swayed on the spot, shutting his eyes tightly once again as a wave of dizziness hit him.

"Deep breaths, Harry, concentrate...Focus...Only on each breath..."

Harry's sobs continued, but Severus could see that he was trying with each painful exertion. Harry slowly opened his eyes as soon as Severus tenderly brushed against his arm in order to bring him back to the present. Harry's skin was hot and clammy. His entire body shook with the effort and despite the struggling breaths, they were soon easing much to his relief.

"That's it…Good… " Severus' heart, too, relaxed back to its normal, unpanicked rhythm.

Harry's cries gradually subsided to a hiccup. Neville could only watch on helplessly, but once Severus eventually met his worried gaze, the other Gryffindor smiled, earning a rare nod in recognition from the Slytherin. Harry, in all his exhaustion, fell into Severus' hold. His head rolled onto his shoulder, emotionally spent and Severus wrapped his arms protectively around him, relishing in the rare embrace once again. Acknowledging the tender moment, Longbottom quietly slipped out into the next room, respectfully allowing the pair to their privacy.

"It's over now, " Severus whispered, chin resting on the top of Harry's head, "You're safe."

Harry nodded wordlessly, clutching onto Severus' arm, and sighing in relief to the embrace, sinking further against him in comfort. They sat there for a short while, relaxed in their peaceful company. Eventually helping him to his feet, he guided Harry to his bed and waited beside him until he fell into a deep, exhausted sleep.

Severus watched on, focusing on the slow rise and fall of Harry's chest. The rhythmic breathing gave him a sense of reassurance knowing that he will be alright now.

When he knew Harry was safe and at peace now in his exhausted slumber, Severus quietly departed the room to find Neville waiting nervously at the single chair in the small sitting room. Neville shot up from his chair, waiting for Severus' word.

"Is Harry alright?"

"He is asleep for now. Let him rest, " Severus kept his voice lowered, careful as not to wake Harry.

The Gryffindor breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do you not know how to send a Patronus, Longbottom?"

He shamefully shook his head, "I can only cast a non-corporeal one. That's why I ran, I had no other way to contact you – "

Severus raised his hand gently to silence him, "We'll sort this issue later. For now, stay with him until he wakes."

Without protest, he nodded, "Yes, sir."

With a last peek through the door at Harry still sleeping, Severus gathered his robes and departed Gryffindor Tower.

Seeing Harry as desperate and in pain, as he did, would never get any easier to see.

April 12th, 2003

[Dawn Rheingold]

Saturday morning spent cooped up in the library was not how she intended to spend her time, but after bumping into Gregory for another quick chat over coffee and crème Brulé, she realised she still had so much work to do.

Breakfast wasn't nearly enough time for her to wake up, before she received the news of another child gone missing. Not of Hogwarts, thankfully, but that of a Half-Blood family in Edinburgh. Rowan instructed Dawn to resume her post at the school and look out for anything out of the ordinary, or anything that may lead them somewhere important.

Of course, nothing of the sort worked in her favor so instead, she took herself to the Restricted Section to resume her studies on illusion charms. But that was soon disrupted by a chaotic Peeves, who felt the need to hide her books all around the library. Angry and frustrated with the chaotically mischievous poltergeist, she abandoned her search and sat bitterly in the staff room pondering on her next move. She really shouldn't be so mad about it, as she spent months scouring such tomes and coming up with nothing. Perhaps it was a sign for her to look elsewhere.

Dawn eventually decided to pay her father a visit to his book shop and borrow a bunch of tomes that appeared useful. Of course, her father wanted to help, but she couldn't give anything away. Her father knew it was Auror's business and it hurt Dawn to even keep such a thing from him. From her entire family.

But duty ruled over the decision, and she left with her haul without explaining why.

She loved her father dearly, but some things should not be known. Especially in the line of work, she was involved in, including the current case which had taken up so much of her time and energy. It seemed as if things in the wizarding world were slowly brewing, and the anxious wait for something else to happen was far too great. She could only do what she could in the time and with the resources she had, and that would have to do.

Once she returned back to Hogwarts, she bumped into Severus reprimanding a poor Ravenclaw in the corridor on her journey back to her private quarters. She didn't stick around long enough to know what had happened, but she left smirking under her dark blonde locks as she continued on her way. She had hoped to catch up with the man over coffee – or in his case, tea – sometime later to further discuss the case and the happenings around Hogwarts, but it seems he was already occupied.

A fresh pair of eyes on the case had been a reprieve and she much enjoyed combing over every morsel of evidence she had as her anonymous liaison. He was level-headed, ruthlessly blunt, and honest, which was what she needed to hear. And coming from someone who had the knowledge to further understand the possible motives around the crimes, made working with Severus even more enjoyable.

Far more enjoyable than she ever thought possible.

There was something about him that drew her to him, and she knew it was her absolute need to reach out and help him in the same way. Over the weeks she could sense him grow more relaxed, and less angry when they shared conversations. A far cry from where they started. Whether they talked about the case or mundane things in the Muggle world, he was able to keep his explosive emotions in check. And she knew he was trying desperately to keep it measured.

She marveled at him for it, even if she didn't want to tell him of the sort.

But she could feel something more than that. She found his personality endearing, although sometimes his moodiness got on her nerves. But she remained patient with him for he was still recovering, and she was well aware of it. She could only hope that he surrenders to her guidance and allowed kindness to heal his broken pieces because she was more than willing to help him pick them up and mend them herself. She didn't mind. There was never a time when she would turn a blind eye to someone who needed help, even if they were too prideful and stubborn to admit they needed it.

…Someone like Severus.

Dawn was now beginning to find many of his little quirks fascinating and warming, and the more she noticed, the greater her desire to further connect with him.

She found it rather charming when the ends of his hair get slightly fluffy after Potion's class, knowing the fumes were always a constant battle. His hair hung low just beyond his shoulders, but it had such a sophisticated limpness that made him look like a young English prince. It framed his face so well, that she found it rather a handsome feature. The wrinkle between his brows of his constant focus was endearing, as with the concentrated twitch of the corners of his lips. The way he tapped his fingers against the surface of a book when he was deep in thought and the way those fingers trailed across his potions workbench, carefully selecting the desired vial with delicacy and care.

She shook her head, mumbling to herself. Six months, and she was beginning to see more to him than just their friendly conversations. She saw more. Felt more.

What?

She couldn't fathom what she felt. His dark, dry humor was addicting, and the tiny smirk at the corner of his lips took a mute glee to something that amused only him. She tried to suppress her shocked chuckle when he mocked Irma one afternoon. She couldn't help it.

She strangely enjoyed his company and felt somewhat of a fond kinship with him. A comradery she usually felt with her own colleagues she had known for years. A closeness that was rare and genuine.

A friendship she never thought she'd ever develop with an ex-Death Eater.

Oh, the irony.

Dawn approached Severus that afternoon to finally scour the greenhouses. She had already sent word to Pomona about the possible sabotage and to keep a close eye on the flora well contained in their usual glass walls. Neville checked for any sign of intrusion within but found nothing. Both Herbology Professors assisted the other pair to help them with the search, as they were more familiar with the greenhouses than either of them. They were the only two who knew what magical plants were contained, their quantity, and what their uses were. Some of those flora were obviously used as ingredients in Potions, which was where Severus' main concern was.

Severus turned bitterly away from the Mimbulus mimbletonia, who had been running his fingers over its spines, looking carefully at every part of the strange cactus for anything beyond their ordinary. After a long pause, he gave a heavy sigh and moved to the next set of Alihotsy's, whose floppy leaves appeared untainted and untouched. She could tell he was growing frustrated by the way he hissed under his breath and bared his teeth like a stray cat.

Meanwhile, Dawn ran her wand over every piece of flora contained in the greenhouse, utilising several detection charms that may pick up something useful.

"I'm not even sure what we are looking for, Severus – " Dawn's wand glowed over the leaves of a vivid small plant, but nothing showed, "I highly doubt that whatever happened, intentional or not, may not be easy to detect."

"Pomona has observed nothing unusual since the incident and has been on close watch, " Severus spoke with his attention at a strange fluorescent, yellow-flowered plant she couldn't identify.

"I don't think that would be enough."

A small pause later and Severus finally turned to face her, "Disappointingly, I must agree."

Dawn leaned against the mud-cacked workbench, crossing her arms sternly over her chest. Her brows knitted together, deep in thought, looking weightily at him, "We need more information."

The man pursed his lips; curiosity piqued through his features, "What do you suggest?"

"We question Rubeus about the strange happenings in the forest, " Dawn suggested, looking upon Severus' face crinkling in slow agreeance, "If there is a connection, we may be onto something."

"If, " Severus pulled his lip, appearing dismayed with the entire situation.

"No harm in questioning, " Dawn stood back on her feet, glancing helplessly at the plants littered in the greenhouse, unable to provide them with any answers. Her arms slumped at her sides, "People are getting hurt, Severus. Children. Us. When docile plants attack, ingredients creating disastrous effects, simple potions creating further illnesses, and creatures acting uncharacteristically in the forest. Something feels eerily familiar and admittingly…This deeply worries me."

Severus raised his chin slightly, "Still presume it correlates with your current case?"

"Yes, " Dawn responded confidently, "And I have had much time to think about it all. Too much here feels familiar and the presentations of those Muggleborn deaths mirror that of the creatures in the forest. And the timing of it all? Something is very wrong."

"I can ascertain that, "Severus' head tilted gently to one side, observing her in all of her obvious worries. She couldn't hide it if she tried, "I will update Minerva on our findings."

Dawn sighed, eventually biting her lip, "Merlin, she has enough to worry about."

"We'll deal with it."

She gave a weak chuckle, "Now look who turned optimistic."

Severus rolled his eyes, causing Dawn's grin to widen, "Realist."

"Uh huh, you keep convincing yourself of that, " Cheekily, she turned on her boots and lead the way to exit the greenhouse, with Severus following closely behind in his usual, cloak-swished strides.

They spoke in hushed tones during their journey to Rubeus' hut when the afternoon light finally began to pierce the grey clouds. Over and over again, they relayed the events in their usual banter like a well-rehearsed dance. His calculative tangents followed hers, and vice versa. Both pairs of eyes pinpointed details overlooked by the other in their conversational journey to ascertain the evidence discovered. Or not yet discovered. Dawn spilled with possibilities and Severus eliminated them as necessary and as bluntly as he usually did.

But she felt good. Somewhat confident. Hopeful in their task, knowing full well she couldn't do this alone. And of all people with the keenest eye, Severus was the one willing to assist. At first, she was hesitant, but she gradually warmed to the idea that he was her best choice. A fresh pair of eyes was what they needed, and given his experience, he didn't mess around. He was straightforward and no-nonsense – exactly what she needed. It kept her mind sharp and focused and if at all she suggested an idea, he'd shoot it down with logic with a dash of his dry wit and sarcasm.

Too many long months were spent chasing their tails and hitting dead ends, waiting for the next piece of evidence that would run them completely off course again. They weren't able to question Felix from their capture – the Ministry was not allowing them to do so only except for certain officials. Rowan had already tried to make it possible, but the suspect was well-secured in Azkaban. The Minister himself could only do so much against the council.

As the pair rounded the hillside, the smell of smoked wood filled the air, emanating from the stone chimney of the hut. Rubeus was tending to the garden outside, shoveling dirt away in large, messy piles. Fang was napping by the porch, his old age evident in his lack of energy, much to Dawn's slow heartbreak.

Rubeus turned around in time to see them, and his face lit up behind his scraggly beard, "Good afte'noon! I wasn't expecting visitors, least of all you two."

"We've come to ask you a few questions…About the odd happenings around the forest, " Dawn asked immediately, without skipping a beat. Severus' cloak brushed past her as the winds changed and the breeze welcoming against her skin.

"Ah, " Rubeus looked slightly worried, but instead motioned for them to go inside his hut, "Come on in, then. I'll make you some tea."

Severus looked apprehensive and clearly wanted to be anywhere else, but diligently followed Dawn as they entered the hut. The pair slid into the chairs beside the old rickety wooden table, as the half-giant filled a giant teapot with water and placed it by the fire. Dawn watched amusingly as Severus upturned his nostrils at what looked like stale rock cakes on the table in front of them.

"So – what do ye want to know?" Rubeus asked, leading Fang inside, who sluggishly took himself to bed.

Dawn inhaled and exhaled gently, "Well, we'd like to know more about when this all started."

Rubeus finished boiling the tea and the scent of sweet tea leaves filled the wood-smoked atmosphere. Once the cups were filled and Rubeus slumped into his usual chair, he tapped his fingers on the table, "Strange, innit? Nothing like this has ever happened before. It started 'bout three, maybe four years ago. But it's only recently when it's become more frequent."

"What of the forest? Has it been investigated?" Severus interjected.

The half-giant nodded, "O' course. I scoured it myself. The Centaurs themselves have not seen anything worth notin'. As you know, they don' particularly like involvement with us, but they are determined to figure out why their own are perishin' as they are. So very strange."

A heavy pause happened between the three; each one eyeing in other. Thinking. Pondering.

Dawn studied Severus hard. His dark eyes were empty and drifted. He was present, but not entirely. She could almost see the ticking cogs in his mind working away to some semblance of an explanation, but his defeated sigh told her otherwise. His lips thinned, and his hollowed cheeks hardened. Tense.

"What are you thinking, Severus?" Dawn said, gently.

He seemed to blink away his thought as if she deterred him from going further. His eyes fleeted, soon meeting hers apprehensively. Those wary, dark eyes blinked slowly, his breath skipping a rhythm. "The wards – have the deaths extended beyond them?"

Hagrid nodded, "The deaths took place beyond them, yes."

Severus paused again; his brow crinkled deeply, stealing a quick glance at Dawn before turning back to Rubeus, "Thank you, Rubeus. We will take this on board and come up with a solution."

Within an odd few seconds, she watched as Severus pulled himself onto his feet and exited the hut, with Dawn quickly following behind him. He walked in quickened strides not caring much to wait for her. But as they reached passed Rubeus' gardens and onto the winding cobblestone paths towards the castle, she managed to catch up.

"Severus stop - wait, please, " Dawn drew in a breath, as the man stopped abruptly before her. He turned on his heel to face her and his expression although hardened, was filled with worry that she had never seen on him before. She lowered her voice, "What is it? What do you know?"

His jaw clenched, appearing mute and unable to find the right words. He opened his mouth to speak, and the words spilled slowly, "I may have an inkling, but given the vagueness of what is happening, I cannot be sure."

Dawn was confused, "I'm not certain I am understanding here."

Severus appeared uncomfortable and uncertain with himself. His eyes drifted around Dawn, barely able to meet her own steady gaze. She wanted his full attention, but something was clearly bothering him. Without as much as a thought, she reached for Severus' shoulder in an attempt to center his mind. Immediately, she felt a powerful shudder beneath her hand, and the man's gaze finally snapped to hers as he shifted to pull away on instinct like a frightened child. It was a quick reaction, an impulse. He pulled away so quickly, Dawn herself was almost taken aback. It wasn't something she ever anticipated, but she noticed Severus drawing in an extra breath, watching him attempt to compose himself once more.

Dawn hung her head, almost shamefully. She didn't think and suddenly, guilt filled her chest, "I'm so sorry – "

He shook his head, unable to peel his gaze away, studying her as if she had just made a huge mistake. He didn't say a word, his eyes still drifting to hers as if it was searching for something.

She couldn't read them if she tried. They were lost. Hollow. She didn't know what to make of it.

But she knew something was bothering him. Whether it was the mysterious deaths, the danger to students, or her, she was unable to ascertain.

Severus finally peeled his own eyes away and turned back to the castle, leaving her standing behind, alone. His dark cloak rustled in the afternoon breeze, chasing him like a sentient shadow as she watched him disappear up the side of the hill.

She didn't mean to do what she did. It was such a simple thing and yet he flinched like an abused animal. Never in all her life could a simple touch of hers hurt and frighten, and she felt as her stomach filled with stone, her chest heavy and torn.

Dawn only wanted to understand. Because he was her friend and deep within her heart, she couldn't bear to see him like this.

She wanted to know why – why he was still hurting.

And she only hoped that someday, he'd trust her enough to share it with her.

April 13th, 2003

[Severus Snape]

Severus awoke startled in his quarters that morning, his skin glistened with sweat as his breath struggled to catch up to his waking state.

Fevered dreams of Voldemort grappled him hard that night, seizing the hope caged within his chest, rendering him stripped of all that he was. Riddles' familiar scaled skin crept against his own, hissing against his eardrums sending painful shivers ravaging his already battered form.

He felt like he was back there again, and the goose pimples that spread across his body were indicative of its harsh familiarity.

"Severusssss – "

"No, no…"

Echoes of his old master's soul-stripping voice clutched frantically at his mind, sending him agonising reminders of a past he still wishes had never come to be. Nagini was still there, hissing, as he could almost feel her jaw stretching, about to sink her fangs into his flesh once again.

His entire body jolted awake at his flinch in his own terror, feeling his heart drop from a height of several stories. Once he was able to force his breathing back into normal rhythm with all the concentration and willpower he could muster, he pulled his wary head from the pillow and began the slow morning. No light had yet pierced the Black Lake as a reminder that it was still night. There was no further rest for him, and he wouldn't dare to, so he dragged himself out of bed and took himself to the bathroom to soak his thinned body in cold water.

The day's break would be kind to him preferably, as he was close to adding the final steps of his memory potion. He still hadn't thought of a name for it, yet. That was always something he struggled with until its completion, but there was some relief to be had for a project that took far longer for him to complete. He felt somewhat pleased with it, despite the time it took to even get this far. It had been such a challenge – mentally – to even come this close. An accomplishment he never thought he'd be able to achieve given how difficult these last few years were. He had been testing its ability on himself and to his great relief, the side effects became less frequent and scarce. Headaches were common for him, but he was able to deal with them as it was a small price to pay.

Now for a suitable test subject, that which took much more careful thought.

With students out and about – some roaming the grounds and making most of a sunny afternoon, or some studying their OWLs and NEWTS - Severus had received word from Dawn about her desire to further their investigation. She had suggested they explore beyond the perimeter of the wards, but he simply did not want to go as a persistent, nagging feeling in his gut reminded him of that.

And yet he didn't have the heart to tell her to leave it for another day, as he knew very well how important this was to her.

Something overwhelmed him yesterday and it was difficult to establish exactly what. Familiar thoughts and feelings settled in the pit of his stomach given what Rubeus was telling them. Nothing made sense and yet something about it felt so sickeningly familiar.

The forest. Something was happening in the forest. Dawn was right in wanting to investigate it, but a large mass of dread filled his abdomen causing him to feel ill at the thought of it.

At first, the idea of illusion charms made sense. But as the small pieces of whatever information they had were discovered, that idea began to dissipate, and he became less confident about it.

It just had to be something else.

"I was worried you'd say no, " Dawn greeted him at the entrance to the footbridge just shy of three in the afternoon.

"Why would I?"

"Well, I don't know…" She opened her mouth to speak again but closed her lips and gave a small sigh. It was obvious to him she wanted to say something more and much to his relief, she didn't. He didn't want to talk about how disturbed he was when they left Rubeus' hut, or when he senselessly froze with her contact.

He already felt like such a fool.

Dawn instead offered a small smile and motioned for him to follow. Wordlessly, the pair made their journey over the footbridge without further conversation until they reached the magical defenses implemented collectively by the pair of them. Severus watched as she waved her wand over the barrier, and once she appeared satisfied, they both crossed the threshold and began their journey along the obscured pathway of the forest floor.

Bands of sunlight pierced the canopy of trees above, illuminating the floor with dancing beams of light. The earth was slick with a light pelt of rain from earlier that morning, allowing the scent of the mud and the rain to fill his senses. He wasn't exactly an outdoor person, but he usually reveled in time like this alone, so to him the experience of venturing within its depths with an Auror in tow, was not a familiar experience.

Dawn moved a few paces ahead, using her wand to scan the floor for any clues that may help. They encountered tracks of hoofprints which they gathered were from the herd of centaurs, but Severus himself appeared somewhat distracted. A mild scent of vanilla wafted and mixed with the damp earth which had brushed passed him. It tickled his nostrils as it flared and suddenly, he felt his cheeks grow hot. She was distracted, herself, in all his relief. Her bronze and purple cloak barely brushed the forest floor, kicked up by her leather boots as she walked. Her side-braided hair was slightly frizzed by the slight humidity of the rain and the mild winds.

…Once again, his confused mind wandered.

He shook his head, cursed silently at himself, and moved to join her up ahead. A small headache pinched sharply at the bridge of his nose.

Dawn paused to turn and face him, lowering her wand, "I don't see anything noteworthy. It'll help if we knew exactly what we were looking for…" She raised an eyebrow, "You still haven't told me what thoughts you had, yesterday. You left Rubeus' in a hurry, so I can't help but wonder what else you had in mind."

"I am not at all convinced we are dealing with a simple illusion charm, after all."

"Oh?"

"Think about it. Both cases of Muggleborns and creatures are facing the same fate. They are being killed and hidden, even from the magical eye. An illusion charm could not possibly be powerful enough to create such falsified visions and mind trickery, " Severus explained as if he was teaching a class.

"Yes, I am aware of that, but we already know that more than one person is behind it, and surely not the work of one person. It is not at all unusual to have one of those residing here at Hogwarts, doing damage elsewhere and shifting attention where necessary."

Severus drew in a deep breath, biting the edge of his lip. He stared hard at her, observing the obvious frustration bubbling within the woman. "I must ask…That afternoon you were attacked and arrived injured, what did you witness there?"

Dawn blinked slowly, pocketing her wand at the hilt of her belt just underneath the fold of her cloak. Her frown deepened as if she was trying to remember, "We stumbled across what looked like an abandoned ritual site. There were…bodies. Desecrated. Violated. Those poor women – " She shut her eyes, wincing at the obviously disturbing images she tried to recall, " – There were candles and symbols. A dark incantation happened there, that is certain. I'd never seen anything like it before. Have…have you?"

More than she'd ever comprehend.

He nodded slowly, filling his eyes with regret when he eventually locked onto her gaze. His left forearm twitched, "Is that even a question?"

Her head bowed regrettably, "Of course, how silly of me."

Ignoring the shame in her voice, he continued, "The magic that was harnessed there was done collectively. A ritual can draw magic from more than one person with magical blood, therefore an illusion charm on a grander scale makes sense. One person would not have been capable of casting something as such on one's own."

"So, this collective could also be using that to hide themselves, " Her voice trailed quietly, "They've been awfully silent for a while."

"Planning and building power, most likely."

Dawn nodded in agreement, "That is the frightening part. We don't know where they are, or even who, and considering the damage they've already done, it makes one worry what they could be completely capable of."

"Muggleborns are targeted and so are Hogwarts students, " Severus reminded her.

"Yes, the students…" She gave a heavy, dismal sigh and moved a single palm to her chest in worry, "Oh, Severus, what do we do?"

"Keep your superior informed and I will do the same with Minerva. I will have to test the ingredients of my potions supply prior to class and Poppy and Longbottom will need to follow suit, so this does not happen again. We must be exceptionally vigilant, " Severus for Dawn to follow they continued along the path.

"I agree, " She nodded confidently, but Severus could detect a strong wavering emotion in her voice. The way she couldn't bear to focus her attention directly to him told him that she had witnessed many gruesome things as he did. And that terrible realisation that it was because of people like Severus, was why people like Dawn – Aurors – were disturbed by the things they discovered. The horrors of Voldemort's reign and the psychological turmoil he caused, rippled still to that day.

And yet again, shame burned at his cheeks. His chest felt heavy like something weighted was placed upon it.

They continued solemnly along the path, illuminating their conversation with whispers of ideas and theories, possibilities beyond any of their comprehensions and events that were reminiscent of history repeating itself. As it did. Severus's immense feeling of dread reliving those horrors, plagued his mind with the familiarity of what they were currently facing. He did not want history to repeat itself in this way, and any rise of old followers was a threat to society.

Severus vowed never to be involved as he did again, but he knew he couldn't sit back, and watch disaster happen again. Not with the knowledge of his past experience and the difficulties he had already faced, and he hoped with every ounce of willpower he had, that others will not endure the same suffering.

His lesson was well learned.

The pair weaved around the edge of the lake at the forest's edge, seemingly taking some solace in the gently lapping water. Thoughts rummaged through Severus' mind, with the same headache still burning at his temple from earlier that day. The faint sounds of a chorus of blackbirds rang through the melancholic peace of the forest. Both pairs of their boots stopped walking momentarily to immerse themselves in a rare moment of blissful, welcoming silence hearing nothing but the birds singing away.

Dawn's eyes closed once they stopped by the lake's edge and a wonderous smile spread across her face as the sounds soaked her senses, "Oh, that is beautiful."

He nodded, but all he could see was Dawn's elated expression taking in those forest sounds as if to calm her. Admittingly, it seemed to calm him, too. "Natural melodies are indeed a rare worldly gift."

Dawn opened her eyes and Severus quickly averted his gaze not wanting her to know that he had been distracted by her once again. She was thankfully oblivious to it, "It is a kind reminder that despite the horrors in our world, there is beauty to be found in places you wouldn't care to look."

She also had a kind, soft beauty as well. Not only in her image but her grace in the way she carried herself. Her own beauty was more than skin-deep, but it showed in her exuberance and her heart worn on her sleeve. Severus, to his realisation, felt much solace in that. A kindness and compassion that was genuine and rare. Something that had never truly touched his life.

Dawn appeared to chuckle to herself as if a humorous thought suddenly sprang to mind, "I have absolutely no musical bone in my body, but my brother had more of a flair for it than I did. My father loved classical compositions and used to perform in the Hogwarts choir back in his own youth."

The pair paused again to hear the songbirds circle to yet again, another soft melody.

Severus' gaze met Dawn's and a defeated breath escaped his lips. If he didn't enjoy her company, he would have gladly left it at that. But something within his heart compelled him to share more of him with her and the softness in her presence made it safe to do so without judgment, "My mother taught me how to play the piano. When my father was at work, she'd walk with me to the old community center where they had one pitifully collecting dust. She played such beautiful notes, and she taught me the basics. Finding time when I was a child was difficult and if the housework wasn't done, he'd know..." Severus' voice trailed off.

Dawn's silence studied the bitterness in his nostalgia, "…Is your father alive?"

"No. He's in the ground, where he belongs, " Severus spoke that last word with seething acrimony. His nostrils flared, but it took much effort for him to quell in anger.

Dawn's shoulders slumped, "I'm sorry I asked, Severus."

His hesitation faltered, with her voice snapping him out of his own thoughts, "He is no more, and that is enough."

The pair looked at each other again; dark eyes meeting the ocean blue. Calm, like the gentle ebb and flow of the water of the lake by their feet. Hers blinked slowly, seemingly transfixed by the hollowness of his own. It was almost like she was staring into his soul. No, it wasn't Legilimency. It was as if she had known him for years and that a single look spoke volumes. A soul-like conversation that didn't need words to explain the emotions he felt. Every time she looked at him, it felt like she was glancing directly into his soul.

As the eyes would have it. It was always the eyes.

His chest felt light and yet devoured of its usual loneliness because her presence was enough at that moment.

Dawn paused to recollect her words, treading carefully at those that would follow. Compassion bled through her soft features, "This...Lily. Did she ever help you? Did she ever listen to you when things were difficult?"

Severus blinked heavily; his eyes weary and weighed down by diminished hope of a past too far away. He cursed again to himself, and it dawned on him that she had heard him ushering Lily's name at that time when he found Charity's portrait. She had obviously remembered, and he didn't, so this came as such a surprise for Lily's name to have ever been mentioned by her.

"Before Hogwarts when we were too young to comprehend it. Since then, nothing. No one was there, " His voice was quiet as if even he didn't want the blackbirds above to listen.

To his great surprise, Dawn's eyes seemed to well with tears, causing Severus to falter on the reaction he did not expect. She lowered her head, her lower lip wavered, "Severus, you deserve better - "

" - I deserve nothing, " Severus whispered harshly; His face contorted in disgust for himself and his own failures, "What I did, was my fault. Everything that happened to her, was my own stupidity...I killed her..."

Dawn's hand twitched at her side, and he knew she was tempted to reach for him again. The pleading gloss in her eyes almost begged for that source of comfort, and he wasn't ready for such a thing. "No, you didn't. Many other things were at play, most out of your control. Leave the past behind where it belongs. You are not that person anymore."

Severus felt his breaths quicken and struggle, "I was the one who overheard the prophecy, Dawn. Much of what happened is my own doing and only I alone should bear that burden. Until my last breath."

"You've already bared that burden and paid for it severely. Is that not enough?" Dawn responded, quietly. Her voice trembled and broke at the last word.

He stared at her. Words that should have saved his soul, but he couldn't face it. Not yet. He was yet to believe that of himself. It's almost like the punishments he endured before were not enough to pay for all the damage he has caused. He didn't want to hurt any longer, but he knew that was what he deserved. To feel that pain so no one else would, because of his own stupidity.

He swallowed hard. His eyes fleeted from her glistening blue ones, until they darted to the forest floor, "Are we done here?"

She hesitated at his change in demeanor, "If you wish it so, yes."

They walked together out of the forest in silence, until Severus quietly departed her company to mull over the words she had spoken and cut straight to his heart.

Lily.

She was never there.

April 20th, 2003

[Harry Potter]

It has been over a week since his panic attack, and he was still unable to face Severus since then. He was thankful, of course. The shame of going through it all again never got any easier and he felt pathetic that it was still something that still occasionally happened. Prior to that, he ended up having a nightmare, this time seeing his mother trying to convince Harry to end his life, so he could join her. Completely scared and helpless he woke up in a complete sweat and refused to go back to bed for fear of that nightmare returning.

He knew Severus noticed how dissociative he was following that last Occlumency lesson. Seeing Lily had shocked them both, but Severus never realised that it was constantly on his mind. Jarring, and petrifying.

Harry's gaze lingered on the ornate box upon the mantel which housed the Resurrection Stone, and he knew he needed to do something about it. And fast. To look upon an artifact that could bring them back so easily was all too tempting, but it wasn't just something he could so casually throw away. It was far too valuable and important to even think about doing such a thing. But Severus was right, as usual. Keeping it with him was a terrible idea.

But as he pondered the thought consistently, an idea sprung to his mind. He wasn't sure if it was a stupid idea, or maybe a very wise one. But either way, something needed to be done.

He had tried to confront Severus about this, but it seems that the man was busier and more occupied than normal. Rarely he would find Severus alone unless he was in his private quarters.

He was starting to notice changes in demeanor between Severus and Dawn. He noticed a shift in Severus' body language when she was around, and they always seemed to be in close vicinity. He wasn't even sure if the man was even aware of it, but Harry couldn't help but notice such observations. He was blinded to it before and never given it a thought, but now he was noticing it everywhere he went. Severus seemed comfortable with her. Relaxed. Less tense.

It was surely a strange sight to see, and it took some effort to get used to. He was so used to dealing with the Slytherin ball of bitterness and pent-up anger, so to see this slightly mellowed side of him made Harry think he was dreaming.

He even noticed them sitting together at the Sunday Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin, leaving team Gryffindor sadly defeated in the end. But the pair were too busy roasting each other's teams and Harry couldn't help but exchange quizzical glances at Minerva, who had been focused intently on the pair since the match began.

Did she notice something, too?

Oh, of course. Minerva usually knows more than she's letting on.

At one point in the match, Severus caught Harry grinning at the corner of his eye and glared dangerously back at him.

"Wipe that smirk off your face, Potter."

He barely even gave the match itself any attention because all he could see was Severus and Dawn engaged in conversation, whether Severus was roasting every single Gryffindor player, or Dawn was playfully doing the same for Slytherin. Harry was amused and Neville was too focused on the match itself to notice what was going on around them. He couldn't help but smirk, with that same grin carrying him back to his own quarters.

Admittingly, it was a nice thought to be had and it did wonders to keep his own nightmares at bay.

But Harry really needed to know, and it was a gamble going up against the man's nerves. The weeks of noticing these changes with Severus was something that kept him intrigued and hopeful and despite knowing full well he was about to shut him down in his usual way, he had to at least try.

"Dawn is really wonderful, isn't she?" Harry spoke, with a shadow of a smirk under his messy dark hair.

They had met the following day, with Harry visiting him in his quarters after a NEWT class later that evening. Occasionally he would volunteer to assist the man with his brewing and at least help him prepare the tedious ingredients ready for the Wolfbane over the upcoming summer holidays. It was a part of the week that he enjoyed, as it was nice to talk with Severus after a busy day. It was their idea of unwinding and reminiscing, which despite Severus denying his sentimentality, his mind dwelled on the past more often than Harry did.

"She's bearable."

"Bearable? I think she seems more than bearable."

Severus focused his attention on his workbench, refusing to meet his gaze. "What are you implying?"

Harry bit his lip holding back what he really wanted to say, but he knew Severus was far from ready to hear it. He had learned his lesson with this before, "I'm not implying anything. It's just nice to see you interact with someone without biting their head off."

The man stopped and tilted his head to Harry's direction, his eyes drifting around the room contemplating his response, "She's learned wisely not to push my buttons."

"Right, " Harry chuckled, "Severus, it's fine to say you have a friend. I know you loathe that term."

The man simply looked disgusted, and it was almost a comical sight.

"Oh, come on. You sit next to her sometimes. By choice. And you just seem…"

Severus's frown deepened, "What?"

Harry gave a weak shrug, "Well, comfortable."

The man froze on the spot, his lips pursed, and Harry almost anxiously waited for the verbal lashing. But nothing happened. Eventually, Severus' face softened and relaxed soon turning his attention back to his task. "I really do loathe the term friend."

Harry smiled in relief, knowing he wasn't about to get his own head bitten off, "Good. No, I'm glad."

"Of?"

"Glad that you've allowed yourself to confide in someone."

Severus' thoughtful expression clouded amongst the shadows cast across his face from the candlelight before them, ending in a single nod, "I suppose so."

Harry was relieved to know that he was trying and that was evident in the way he responded to his questions. Severus didn't lash out in anger and frustration as he usually did and to his surprise, he was rather calm about it. Mildly dismissive of course, but it didn't end in disaster as it was known to happen.

His heart swelled in his chest, proud of the man to see how far he had come since. As much as there were still things he was dealing with, he was slowly allowing people in his life willing to support him. Of course, initially, the idea of that to him was utterly repulsing, but over the last few months and since his Hogwarts return, he had seemingly warmed to the idea of that. For a man once encapsulated by loneliness and despair, now finally allowed light back in through the cracks forming in his wall of stone. Albeit slowly, but it was nice to see such a change within him.

Harry scooped the chopped remnants of the aconite root into the empty glass bowl, when an idea sprang to his mind, "Severus?"

"Yes?"

"I was thinking – " Harry turned to Severus, who had a comical smirk plastered across his face, eager to crack a joke right there. Before he could say a thing, Harry continued, " – I had an idea of who you could possibly test your potion on."

Severus stopped what he was doing and turned his full attention to him.

"The Longbottom's."

Harry had never seen Severus' jaw drop so quickly. The whites of his eyes gleamed as his eyes widened and he was certain the man was still processing the possibility.

"And what, pray tell, is your rationale for this?"

Harry shrugged, "Well, I figured you'd want someone with a lot of repressed memories. It obviously can't be me since you've uncovered most of them for me already. And I was thinking, well, Neville's parents' minds are damaged. If there was a way to use them as say, a clean slate, the idea of a subject that cannot suffer as much as they already are, might prove to work more effectively. Maybe some of their lost memories could be retrieved after all."

Severus appeared stunned, still staring at Harry as if he wasn't making sense. It was definitely one of Harry's brighter suggestions, and one he was rather particularly proud of.

"Astonishing how you've managed to formulate such a brilliant idea."

"It's been known to happen."

Severus smirked until it was wiped cleanly away by another thought, "However I do not think Longbottom would be so receptive as to allow me to do so."

"I'll talk to him, " Harry said, "I'm sure he'll be on board with it and your potions have been effective. Severus, if this works and they regain something back…This could change so much."

Severus Snape needed this breakthrough.

Rita Skeeter be damned.