Authors Note: If you have not seen it yet, I have a completed art commission for a scene in CH 35: Slow Burn, which is a special one, but you will only find that attached to the AO3 Light of Mine story, not this one.
Meanwhile, enjoy this soft, fluffy chapter!
"You are not what you became when you were most afraid. You are what flows through you when you are most joyful, most inspired. You are what you feel when everything feels at ease. You are what you know when that quiet, little voice inside tells you – it's going to be ok. You are not the person you became to cope with the life you didn't ask for. You are the person you choose to become in the life you build despite it."
- Unknown
CHAPTER 43: A Solstice Melody
December 19th, 2003
[Severus Snape]
That weekend was certainly one of his busiest, as the staff prepared for the Christmas holidays and the departure of the students.
The trees and decorations littered the school grounds, as festive as sickeningly possible with Rubeus humming tunes at every opportunity. Filius has suggested a Yule celebration to signal the holidays, much to Severus' displeasure, so the school was abuzz with the usual Christmas festivities. Amongst the current problems, another public gathering was last on his list of things to do. Supposedly it was a way to keep the students feeling a little more positive with festive cheer, but still, the death of the student still hung heavy in the air, thick like smog. He wasn't even sure if the event was appropriate.
That Friday night, Severus decided to summon his Slytherins for an end-of-year meeting, with much that he needed to discuss and a weight he needed to lift from his shoulders. With help from his Prefects, the students obliged, and Severus waited patiently for them all to gather within their common room. To his great surprise, the students filed in and stood like soldiers in perfect rows as they were originally conditioned to during Severus' ruse as Headmaster and during the time when the Carrows enforced corporal punishment if one were to step out of line. Some stared ahead. Some cast their gazes to the worn rugs strewn across the stone floor. It was madness how quick they were to fall into such a military stance. Severus knew that one step out of line would be absolute cause for punishment, and loss of blood was not about to be spilled four years after the Carrows' reign of terror.
His reign of terror.
He understood why they were afraid of him, even now. But he was not what he was pretending to be in the eyes of frightened children. Those he could not always protect, and that sting of guilt would always be something that forever lingered. There was a silent relief that no student perished under his care, but the emotional wounds, he knew, would forever remain.
But Severus had enough of this - those dark times were well in the past. He clicked his tongue albeit frustratingly, "Oh, for goodness sake, ease up."
The students looked at one another, quite obviously unsure of themselves. But one by one, slowly they eased their position and adopted casual stances, with some breathing a quiet sigh of relief. Severus caught onto that immediately.
"It appears there is much we need to discuss and now seems like the most opportune time as we reach the holidays, " Severus' eyes scanned the sea of green, ensuring each and every one of them were giving the eye contact he sought for. It really was in no mood to be berating anyone for not paying attention, as they've suffered enough as punishment in the past, "During my observations since my return, there has been an unsettling change in Slytherin house. My current understanding is that there is still a breach of trust between us, and as this rare opportunity arises, I invite you to pose your question as you see fit. That I know you have many, desperate to be heard."
Severus began to slowly pace the room, weaving in between groups of students of all ages, and yet the room remained deadly silent. All eyes were focused on him, still with such unease. But at least he held their attention thus far, "As with the recent tragedies that have befallen this school – both recent and distant – I will have you all aware of the connection we all share. And that is of the House of Slytherin, its core values, and those which make us distinctive from the rest. However, I am well aware of your hesitance towards my return still…I cannot change the past and neither can you. It is true I was once a loyal Death Eater, blindly dedicated to Tom Riddle's cause as young as I was, much like many of you. But I had defected long ago and fought against Riddle in silence for many years. My role and involvement were delicate and I was required to lead you to his way. Not the way that I ever desired as your Head and then Headmaster, but my choice in the matter was non-existent. If I had my way, I would have influenced you all away from it."
Severus stopped pacing and took the opportunity to pause, scanning the many mixed expressions he could see. It was odd enough to openly voice these concerns to them directly, and yet laying out his bare soul with students he did now know, rattled his own fear into his bones, "You are correct in assuming that I abandoned you all – more or less, that is what it appeared. Like yourselves, I too suffered at the hands of the dark side of Slytherin and the prejudice we were conditioned on for decades if not centuries. It wasn't right, but that is the reality of what this House had to endure during his reign. If we did not comply, the lives of our families and our own hung by a mere thread. Now, we have a chance to wake up and do better. I am not asking you to do charity work. All I ask is for your trust. I cannot lead you in a better way if that trust is severed, and I require your full attention and confidence in myself so that I am able to do the job I returned to Hogwarts to complete. My errors are no longer private, and thus, it is imperative that you hear this directly from me, and not by the tongues who would never understand our plight. I do not want Slytherin to fall back into its dark trap. I want us to thrive and prosper. I want us to hone our skills and make better choices for ourselves. A way no longer saturated in darkness, because we are not that House anymore."
His stern demeanor softened ever so slightly, no longer feeling the need to impose upon his students, "…I could never ask for your forgiveness because that would be foolish of me. But I will always remain dedicated to this House, and I understand your troubles far more than you know. I defied Tom Riddle. It is never too late to turn away from that darkness."
Severus had noticed a few students shift in their rigid positions, a few of them glancing quickly at one another. On the side, he could see Cyrus Hastwell standing rather proud, almost like he was reinvigorated with a newfound confidence. Severus himself tried to eye each and every one of them equally, allowing them time to process what he has said and ensure that they knew their voices were willing to be heard.
During the pause, one timid hand slowly raised somewhere in the middle of the crowd.
"Yes, Mr. Whitehood, " Severus motioned for the Fifth Year to proceed.
"Sir…We thought you were mad with us…those who sided with Voldemort."
Severus frowned, almost appalled that they would even think of such a thing, "I was angered by many things that transpired in the Second War, but your grooming into Tom Riddles ideology was never one of them."
Another hand slowly raised, "But Professor, why does it matter? The rest of the school hate us whether we sided with him, or not."
His eyes found the next student and snarled, "By doing questionable things that may paint yourselves foolishly, learning nothing from what this house had to endure! Even now you still delve into the dark arts and wonder why stones have been cast upon you. Do you still not understand? Is this what you want this House to remain as? Do you not want to rise above its past? I do not want you stuck in its misery. Those days are over."
"Nothing is ever going to change – " Another student exclaimed suddenly. But much to Severus' surprise, multiple students began in a heated banter against each other.
"Well, Gordon, if you stopped trying to torture those first year Ravenclaws, we'd be seen a lot better."
"Oh, bugger off! I've seen you try and summon another Poltergeist."
"You're obsessed with Necromancy. It's frankly quite disturbing."
"Your spell-creation killed that bloody bird of yours, and yet you found it funny."
"At least I still don't have Voldemort posters plastered against my wall – "
Severus' anger bubbled deep within him, allowing his voice to soar over the chorus of arguing students, rendering them immediately silent, "ENOUGH! All of you! This is why we are a struggling House. We've lost our honor and dignity. The dark arts are not a novelty or party trick to tinker with, nor will they bring you glory. The dark arts, when misunderstood, can result in far worst things. Riddle tempted us with that power. That is how he drew you in. Many of you saw fellow students slaughtered in the Hogwarts battle with dark magic, and yet you still assume this is a trick? Grow up, Slytherins! I did not summon you here today to condemn you, but there are lessons you still need to learn, I see. Do you want to be better? Then do better. Any knowledge you seek with the dark arts must go directly through me. Knowledge is dangerous when abused. Riddle's knowledge of the dark arts is what kept him alive in his pathetic pursuit of power and immortality. Slytherin is an intellectual house and should pride itself on common sense. That of which you currently lack."
The room fell immediately silent. Faces of guilty students were clear as day, with some looking shamefully away. Severus allowed his anger to simmer and dissipate, but he knew his Slytherins had such a long way to go before they truly learned anything. He didn't care how harsh he was. It was their current disregard for their own lives and futures, with their obsession with the dark arts, which allowed them to be seduced by such darkness. That of which appealed to Riddle when he induced fear into the community.
Severus knew this firsthand when he was young and idiotic enough to follow them during his own youth. And the implications of that were disastrous. Fatal. People lost their lives. People he cared about…
He straightened his posture, commanding silence once again, "…I am not your enemy. I never was. I returned to Hogwarts in the hope to lead us to a better future. One where we are not seen as the enemy in the eyes of those who will never comprehend the hardships we've had to face. Not as I do. Allow me to lead you as your Head of House. Confide in me and I will guide you."
The room remained silent. A slow trail of nods could be seen, with understanding slowly etched upon some of those guilty faces. He wasn't sure if that was enough, but those words had to be said. With nothing additional to add, he turned on his heel and exited the Common Room in determined strides. He didn't know where his feet were taking him, but he didn't desire to retreat back within his quarters.
The entire conversation bothered him, frankly. He didn't care how young or immature they were. He still had an obligation to protect them from the things that had brought the House to its knees. For as long as he lived, he will not allow them to sink that far again. That was his main reason for returning to Hogwarts in the first place. To continue to fix his mistakes and his neglect of a House crying silently for help. And he knew some of them wanted help. Of course, some were too thick to understand it fully, but he could tell by the look in some of their eyes of that relief that they were finally seen.
He found Dawn back in the library of the Restricted Section, feeling immense relief to see a calm, friendly face. His heart felt too heavy to speak and upon his sullen appearance, Dawn's face fell recognising the disturbance with him. She immediately rose from her chair and reached out for him, grasping his shaking hand within her own and resting them just below her chin. Concentrating only on soothing him, she continued to stroke his hand gently, as if the smooth circles would relax him to stillness once again. Once it did, she reached out towards his sullen face and rested a hand against his cheek brushing her thumb tenderly upon his cheekbone.
Severus shuddered against her touch, feeling his eyes fill shamefully with tears. No one had ever comforted him as she did. Every other touch from others had been violent and unforgiving, and every word cast upon him was of venomous disdain. So, when that rare gentleness and kindness touched his soul, it was unlike anything he had felt before. He didn't know how badly he needed this until the moment her skin touched his. Now he knew for certain what he had been missing for his entire lonely life.
A friendly, warm touch, for his brutal, cold heart.
He released a shuddered breath and melted into her touch. He had longed for this.
"What happened, Severus?" She asked quietly, blinking back into his sad eyes.
He allowed himself to draw a small breath once again, feeling the warmth of her skin reinvigorate him, "I had an important conversation with my Slytherins. I cannot say if any of it was receptive or not."
"If anyone can guide them best, it would be you."
Severus couldn't help but flicker a strained smile, "Sometimes I am not so sure."
"Give them time, " Dawn said, reassuringly, "They'll come around."
Severus knew she was right, but the weight of the responsibility still felt heavy upon his shoulders.
He reached for her shoulder and gently prodded her closer to him until she melted into his torso, wrapping her arms around him, and rubbing his back soothingly. His head rested upon her shoulder, defeated by the day, but he was relieved to have someone there to give him that space for release without harsh consequences. He still felt slightly rigid with the embrace, since hugs were still a rarity for him, and he still found it jarring at times. But he was learning and wanted to erase that past discomfort from the gesture whenever he was with her. But there they stood for several comfortable moments, drawing in the scent of her, until she pulled back slightly.
Those eyes disarmed him. Oh, those beautiful, welcoming eyes. It was almost as if they smiled with her.
Dawn leaned in and planted a single, soft kiss upon the bridge of his nose. Her lips pressed and lingered before pulling away whilst blue orbs pierced through his very mind, validating his appreciation and desire for more.
He never thought he'd ever look forward to ending the day in anyone's arms and beginning the day much the same. He didn't realise he ever had such capacity to want something as such so much, that it hurt him if weren't at all possible. And it was almost as if he didn't need to explain why. She just knew. It appeared she could decipher his heart better than he could.
When finally, the Yule celebration rolled around the following evening and the attending students were abuzz in the Great Hall, Severus seated himself at the staff table, tense and uncomfortable. Frankly, this was too grand of an idea, but he had not much say in the matter. Many of the students remained back for a few extra days just to attend the event, despite a few of the wolflings keeping much to themselves in their own little groups.
Gregory and Dawn as it seemed, appeared far more strained these days than he ever noticed before. He was not sure what had happened, but he hadn't seen a word exchanged between them for a few weeks now. There was a slight tension there, even despite his attempts to confront her. But for the most part, she continued to avoid his advances, and yet Severus still watched him like a hawk.
He looked over at Harry who was accompanied by his pregnant wife who was now clearly starting to show. As much pride as he felt for Harry and his upcoming paternal venture, there he felt a small tinge of jealousy that their love was nothing to hide. He had to avert his gaze at times when Harry would kiss her cheek or laugh over whatever conversation they were having.
And here Severus was, sitting on the opposite side of the staff table from Dawn pretending not to be as close as they were.
They had been trying to hide their affection, but it has been difficult for them to keep it a secret. Knowing that they had to choose their intimate moments wisely, keeping themselves professionally apart had been far more difficult than he assumed it would be. And it wasn't as if he desired to bang her at every corner, which was an odd thought to even think about. Simply holding her within his arms wherever they could was more than enough momentary bliss for him and learning to explore her body as slowly as they desired, brought about enough euphoria to sail him through another day.
But they had to be cautious. Especially since they are essentially, colleagues.
The sound of her laugh was addicting and so prominent, that it was easy to find her voice in a sea of hundreds of children. He buried his reasonably contained smile behind his goblet of a non-alcoholic beverage, unable to wipe it off his face no matter how hard he tried. And for a moment, he felt like a child again, blushing as if it was a silly teenage crush. Oh, how things have changed. How one person can alter your days in such a magnificent way. The affection he had for her within that moment was infinite.
Her tender yet piercing gaze relaxed into the softness that he so loved. Her complexion seemed to glow with the smile that lit up his dark, gloomy world. As if all was well again and will always be. So long as he could see that smile, not a soul dared take that away from her, and he prayed desperately that it would never be him. Being with her made him breathe again as if he had been holding onto it for his entire life.
It was that smile and those kind eyes. He knew…He knew she'd one day be important to him, but never would he have imagined for it to go as far as it did.
Several times during the celebration, Dawn caught Severus' eye and tried her best to hide her own little smile. He couldn't help but feel it being so unfair when all he wanted to do was lay by her side in their own little slice of heaven.
Feeling a little disheartened by the entire situation, Severus mumbled to Minerva about making the patrol rounds and hastily left the noise and the music behind to find his own peace and quiet. He wandered outside into the entrance courtyard, breathing in the frosty, winter air. A light blanket of snow covered the grounds, brightening the evening amidst the night. And yet still, the laughs of students and the instrumental choir could still be heard bustling within the castle walls.
"Company is hard sought for, it seems."
Severus turned on his heel to find Dawn walking towards him. Her crimson dress fluttered in the cold breeze. His eyes widened, seeing her exposed skin to the elements. He withdrew his wand when Dawn's hand rested against his chest.
"I cast a warming charm, worry not, " Dawn smiled.
"So have I, " Severus opened his dress cloak out to her, and to his satisfaction, she curled up against his chest leaving Severus to wrap her warmly within. Severus hummed, contently, "All students are inside. We shouldn't be seen here."
"I know. That's why I followed you, " Dawn nestled further against his chest, feeling her hand rub soft circles against his chest bone, causing his heart to flutter every time, "Are you sure you're alright?"
"It doesn't matter."
"I care about how you feel. So yes, it does matter. Especially to me."
Severus paused, feeling conflicted within himself as darker thoughts continue to plague his mind, "How…how am I so desirable to you? How can you have such affection for someone like me? As repulsing as I am, as grotesque – "
She shook her head and gently pulled back from him gazing into his eyes with her own, kinder ones, "That is not what I see, Severus. You don't see what I do, and my stars, I wish you did. It breaks my heart to see you hate on everything little thing about yourself." Knowing Severus did not respond immediately, she continued, "I'm not here to change you. You know that, right? I'm here to help you realise the good within you. You've come so far. Can't you see that?"
"I…I don't know."
"Oh, yes, it does. Shh…Do not respond. Listen. Really listen to what I am saying, " Dawn's hands continued to rest against his chest, "You're not a bad person. You are not that man anymore. We all change in some way. Embrace it. Don't let the unknowing rule your life. You deserve to breathe easy, not hold it through each day. Severus…I lost people too. Those I can never get back. But we have to move on. We have to be strong and be better than we were. If we don't, then living is meaningless."
"I'm not a man who can let go of it so easily. I've tried...Am trying...But I can't. I'm tired of it, " Severus whispered, holding her tighter, "My mind…I cannot help it."
"I'm here. And I will never leave you through your difficult times, " Dawn said firmly, leaving Severus to have wished for Lily to have once spoken those wonderous words. But Dawn was not Lily. She was able to stay with him during his personal struggles, and she had proven time and time again that she wouldn't leave him to suffer alone. After all, he spent years enduring on his own, and now with her, perhaps his future would not seem quite so bleak.
The two of them paused to hear the music in the Great Hall, each absorbing the comfort in the embrace of the other. A slow, almost mischievous smile etched across Dawn's face, taking him aback and causing him to frown in wonder.
She suddenly removed herself from his warmth and outstretched her arms in a curious position, "Care to dance?"
Severus appeared to pull back immediately, pulling his lip with a sneer at the request, "That is not in my skill set."
"Come here, Severus. I'll show you."
Severus' frown deepened, "I have two left feet…I'd rather not."
"Live a little. Here..." Knowing Severus wasn't going to move, Dawn took him by the hand and lead him closer to her. She pulled one of his arms comfortably around her curved waist, and the other clasped firmly within her hand out away from them. She tried to move him to the soft melody of the music, but Severus without a dancing bone in his body, remained awkward and stiff, "Just sway with me to the music. Think of it less of a dance, and more of simply moving…Stop tensing your shoulders and just relax."
"This is a terrible idea. If we are seen - "
"I'm not asking you to tapdance, Severus, " Dawn smirked amusingly, before her expression softened once again, "Just...go with it. Can you hear the sound? …Listen."
The pair of them swayed softly to the melody of the instruments echoing from the Great Hall, creating soft footprints in the snow as they did. Flutters of snow fell from the sky, coating Severus' hair with white speckles, and landing within Dawn's thick curls. They continued to move silently, allowing Severus' frustration with the proposal to begin to dissipate until he began to lose himself in the moment. Dawn's face was elated and completely relaxed, even closing her eyes in intervals as if she was merely led by the music and Severus' touch alone.
He was never one to consider any movement as this. But this…at least it was something he could manage. And even he eventually came to enjoy it as well.
Every moment he spent alone with her meant a lot to him and to be able to share a Yule celebration in the company of the other was worthwhile. Even if they had to share this moment privately.
It didn't matter. Being with her in any way was enough.
Harry gave him a reason to keep fighting. Dawn gave him a reason to live.
December 25th, 2003
[Dawn Rheingold]
Dawn smiled, being the first to awaken. With bleary eyes, she turned over to admire the light snores from Severus tucked under the sheets, knowing full well he was almost completely naked underneath it.
With most of the students home for the holidays, she was able to convince him to return with her to her own quarters in Gryffindor Tower for a change in scenery. They didn't even have sex that night, but merely spent the night cuddling up against each other in their familiar warmth and indulging in the lips of the other like a pair of teenagers with their first love. That was honestly satisfying enough for the both of them, in their quest to satiate their bliss as methodically as they could. A time that always stood still, but something both of them desired for it to last forever.
Like each and every time, Severus was gentle in his strokes as his slender fingers trailed across her shoulders and down her arms all the way to her fingers. Her own entwined with his locks. Both hands exploring the body of the other so slowly…with utmost care as if they had all the time in the world. She remembered her own ex being so rough and almost inconsiderate with her in her past. But Severus was quite the opposite, always ensuring she was enjoying what he did and paused every time he felt he was going too far. She was always thankful for that and his ability to care that much, it was almost strange to think that a man with such a hardened exterior, had a rare softness underneath that she was lucky enough to experience. Something he quite obviously didn't like to show to just anyone.
No wonder Harry had such a deep admiration for him, as this is what he had learned to see after the War's end.
With Dawn desperately wanting to hear his voice on that Christmas morning, she brought her hand to his cheek and caressed it with her thumb as she leaned closer, "Merry Christmas, Severus, " She whispered, hearing Severus' snores simmer as he slowly stirred awake. A dark eye opened beneath his locks, and she noticed his gaunt cheek shift into a small smile beneath her palm.
Severus blearily reached for her hand and kissed its surface, planting small ones in a circle, "You're the sight I long to see when I awaken."
"I honestly thought I'd wake up alone again for yet another Christmas. Waking up beside you is a gift I never thought I'd have."
She watched as Severus shifted in bed and opened his arms as Dawn shuffled within them as they had done countless times before like a rehearsed dance. His bare arms wrapped around her, and she felt his chin rest against the top of her head. Her naked form against his, as she found herself in the comfort of the slow rise and fall of his chest.
"We could stay here today, if you so wish, " Severus suggested.
Dawn's smile broadened initially, but as she pondered it, it slowly vanished, "As appealing as that sounds, we both need to make an appearance to avoid suspicion."
Severus nodded, sighing under his breath, "That is the wisest decision."
She turned within his embrace to look into his eyes, planting a small kiss upon his lips, "You and I both know we are not ready for this to be known. It shouldn't, really – "
A loud peck at the window of Gryffindor Tower startled the both of them, leaving Dawn to reach for her wand at the bedside and opened the window. The large owl – recognised as Harry's owl Godric - fluttered inside, dropped a letter upon the bed, and flew back out leaving a trail of small feathers behind. She closed the window, as Severus reached for the letter addressed to him. Disappointed with their feathered interruption, she watched as Severus opened the letter and quickly skimmed through the inked words. His jaw tensed.
"What is it, Severus?"
He folded the letter back up and tossed it at the bedside table, "Every year is the same bloody invite. Although this one is slightly different."
Confused, Dawn sat up against the bedhead, bringing the sheet covers across her chest, "Invite? To what?"
Severus drew in a deep breath, curling his lip slightly as he responded, "The Weasleys. Every year they invite me for Christmas, but I have always declined."
"You've…never gone?"
"I've never had a reason to celebrate, least of all with them."
Dawn paused, remembering something else, "You mentioned it was a little different this time…"
Severus looked conflicted, "…You've also been invited. Perhaps the Potters and Ronald Weasley have a fondness for you."
Dawn's head tilted, observing his concern, "Don't be so worried about it, Severus."
She frowned, "I am not worried. They do not know about…us."
"I know. We go as friends. Or simply, colleagues, " Dawn reached for his hand and caressed his fingers with her own, "I don't want to go on my own, and neither should you."
Severus drew in a sharp breath, "I really do not want to go."
"Let's go for a short while, and then we can leave. Perhaps we should arrive differently, " Dawn felt a little sad at the idea, but right now neither of them wanted anyone else to know as of yet. Things were moving as slowly as they possibly could, but telling the world just seemed like an unnecessary, daunting step. Both wanted to keep the sacredness special and a secret for as long as they could.
The pair of them spent the morning having breakfast and exchanging gifts – Dawn admittingly had no idea what to give him, since their intimate relationship was still very new. Instead, she had gifted him some rare potion ingredients he didn't have, and Staves of the Past, so that he could further study the Icelandic Staves she had tried to teach him on ward rounds some time ago. And Severus – as nervous as she found him to be – had gifted her a new amber-studded wand holster, and an ivory quill imbued with a blotch-preventing charm.
With Severus grumpily finally making the decision to attend one of the Weasley's infamous Christmas celebrations after rejecting the invitation every year since the end of the War, he retreated back to his own quarters to get ready for the day ahead. She had words with him before he departed, reassuring him that it was probably not as bad as he assumed it might be. Although she understood his desire to be a recluse for so long, perhaps this would actually be rather beneficial to him to expand his support knowing the Weasleys were in his corner.
As much as she wished to remain in Severus' arms for the entirety of that day, she knew they needed to depart separately and arrive at different times. She felt it silly, but it was unfortunately necessary.
Dawn had agreed to arrive first, being the respectable Auror working closely with a Weasley. She wasn't prepared at all for this, so she did not have any gifts, but instead, she managed to bribe a few House Elves into baking a two-tier chocolate cake covered with icing, cream, and fresh strawberries. The scent of the sugar-laden sweets was tempting her terribly, so the urge to resist stealing a cream-covered strawberry was too great. Feeling a little less guilty about arriving empty-handed, she was greeted at the Burrow by Ronald and Harry at the front gardens.
Ron actually appeared rather pleased to see her, "Didn't think you'd actually want to come. Mum was insistent on meeting you."
"I am more than honored to meet the rest of your family, " Dawn responded, feeling a little jolt of excitement. It was nice to be anywhere else other than Hogwarts and the Auror office.
The bitter frost of the day forced everyone else back inside, where Dawn finally stepped foot into the Burrow for the very first time. With its cramped but homely feel, she had to wonder how everyone here would fit. The house itself was indeed unique and impressive, suiting the style of the Weasleys very well. Every Weasley had their partner, and in some cases, a child. A cooing baby was bouncing on the lap of what appeared to be her father. With Teddy playing with his purple Pygmy Puff in the loungeroom with Ron's other brother, George, Ginny herself was caressing her growing belly beside a beautiful and striking silvery blonde-haired woman. Arthur and Percy were setting up drinks on the table, whilst Molly was busying herself at the kitchen.
Realising she was still holding the cake, she wandered over to the Weasley matriarch where she was greeted with the warmest and most welcoming smile she had ever seen. Placing the cake on the counter, she extended a hand to her, but instead to her surprise, she was pulled into a strong embrace. It was like hugging her own mother.
"What a wonderful welcome, " Dawn smiled, feeling such a warmth in her chest.
The woman clasped her hands together over her chest, "You must be Dawn Rheingold. Oh, I am so pleased you could join us! Harry and Ron were very adamant to have you here."
"Molly, " Dawn felt a little speechless by the hospitality, "It is an honor to finally meet you. Your efforts in the war and the demise of Lestrange is no secret amongst the Auror Department."
Molly appeared to blush a little, "We do what we must to protect our family."
Dawn nodded, "That, we must."
"I hope Ronald isn't giving you too much of a rough time."
"Oh heavens, no. He is diligent and professional, and I am honored to work alongside him – " Suddenly Dawn was grabbed around the waist by a young child, and looked down to find Teddy clutching onto her, " – Oh, hello again, you!"
"'Ello!" Teddy bounced excitedly on his heel, wearing a very smart little suit.
"Well, don't you look rather dapper, " Dawn's face lit up, with Molly quickly rustling the child's hair as he passed.
Without another thought, Teddy grabbed her by the hand and led her towards the sitting room where he began to show her all the gifts he had received that morning. Delighted with the company of the expressive child, she was too far engaged with the interaction when the front door opened to reveal a very wind-frosted Severus looking rather sullen and adorned in his dress suit.
Heat spread to Dawn's cheeks, attempting to keep her face as neutral as possible.
"About time you turned up to one, Severus. My owl was getting exhausted sending invitations, even some without a response, " Molly exclaimed, as she wandered toward him almost as if she was scolding one of her children.
Severus rolled his eyes, and Dawn had to turn away to hide her grin beneath her hair as Severus had caught her curious eye. Rather humorously, Molly also pulled him into a hug against the man's will, and Dawn could see him stiffen within her hold and an expression as sour as she'd ever seen.
"I was busy, " Severus grumbled, with his voice muffled within the woman's hair.
"Oh, bollocks, Severus," Molly smirked, as she let go of him, and patted him lightly on the shoulder, "Now go and take a seat. I've placed you next to Harry – "
Severus caught Dawn's eye once again as he turned and shuffled his way over to the very end of the dining room table after he greeted Harry on the way. She knew this was not where he wanted to be, and that was evident by the look of hopelessness on the man's face. Too many people in one place appeared to overwhelm him, but he held together far better than she ever would. She knew that he'd much rather be home.
Once dinner had commenced, Dawn ventured to her place at the center of the abnormally long table adjacent to Molly, and beside Ron and Angelina. Throughout the many conversations that were engaged over time, Dawn couldn't help but steal glances intermittently at Severus, who was either fixated on his meal as a distraction or engaging in conversation with Harry and no one else. But Severus' conversation was drowned out by someone else vying for Harry's attention leaving him to withdraw back into himself. Harry's chuckles whilst holding his wife's hand deterred Severus from enjoying anything and her desire to reach out to him was far too great.
But she couldn't. They couldn't. Perhaps not yet.
There was a point in the dinner where her wispy gaze upon Severus was caught by Harry, leaving her to quickly spear at her roasted carrot to distract even herself.
Teddy on the side appeared to morph his facial features, cycling through a few animals on display and causing the other baby upon Fleur's lap to giggle infectiously.
Dawn's eyes widened in surprise, "Teddy is a Metamorphagus?"
Molly smiled proudly, "Like his mother, of course."
"There aren't many of them around Britain, but I hadn't thought of the possibility that Tonks passed it down, " Dawn smiled lovingly at the child, grateful for something to occupy her mind.
Once the dinner concluded and some of the Weasleys dispersed to walk off their feast, Dawn was pulled away yet again towards the affectionate Teddy in the sitting room, showing her a curious toy piano that appeared older than some of the gifts he had received. She had cycled through conversations with Harry, Ron, and even Ginny in light of her pregnancy. Although her motherly conversation touched a sad note within her, she did her best to exude a happier smile although she felt a part of her was missing.
She could feel Severus' eyes upon her at times, as he himself was engaged in conversations with Arthur and Charlie whilst focusing more on the half-drunken glass of wine. Well, as engaged as he was willing to be. It was odd to see him drink anything pertaining to alcohol as it was the first she had seen and had the impression it was something he usually stayed away from. But there was boredom there on this face and a strong desire to be with her.
Being apart was a strange idea, as they knew the moment they would be within reach, their hands will automatically find themselves to each other. So, their mutual decision to stay a reasonable distance was a wise one.
As the hours trudged on, Severus wandered through the slowly dissipating Weasley crowd and found himself in a close enough vicinity to communicate. His expression was clearly that of exhaustion.
"We depart in ten."
"Not together – " Dawn whispered in protest, looking around making sure no one was eavesdropping.
"Trust me, " Severus slipped away with nothing but a subtle smirk across his lips.
Dawn had to wonder what he had in mind, as she watched the ticking clock diligently. Teddy found a moment to nap curled up beside her, which was rather endearing, but she knew she was yet to leave soon and hated the idea of disturbing the child who suddenly grew so attached to her.
When those ten minutes had arrived, Severus cleared his throat as he approached Molly and Dawn could just about detect from earshot, "Ms. Rheingold and I have Hogwarts business to attend to, thus we must depart."
"On Christmas Day?"
"Ensuring students are responsible with their received gifts at Hogwarts is a duty I must begrudgingly withhold."
"Oh, alright, " Molly smiled, warmly, "Thank you for finally joining us. See? This wasn't so terrible."
Severus appeared to grumble again and as the pair of them made their goodbye rounds, Dawn departed with Severus along the winding path to the edge of the Burrow where the wards were in place. Once they knew that they were no longer seen, Severus outstretched his arm and Dawn took it gratefully, feeling them both disapparating away.
When they re-materialised, Dawn was surprised to find herself somewhere completely unfamiliar. Immediately there was a chill in the air, and a layer of frost had already coated the grass beneath her shoes. They were definitely a little farther up north in such a lush, beautiful part of the English countryside. She followed Severus as he moved forward and once they crossed the magical threshold, a beautiful grey and white cottage appeared, surrounded by garden beds and cobblestone pathways. A small greenhouse shone under the moonlight on the other side. Beside it, a glistening peaceful lake shone and lapped gently against the stone shore.
She breathed in fresh, dewy air in all of her quiet bliss.
"Severus is this…" Dawn was speechless, as they walked up the pathway, still clutching to his arm.
He turned to look at her with an eyebrow raised in amusement, "Indeed, it is."
Once Severus unlocked his front door and immediately lit up the roaring fire in the fireplace, she turned to Severus and planted a long-awaited kiss upon his lips, "I've been waiting to do that all evening."
His fingers brushed tenderly against her shoulders, causing her skin to tingle, "Tonight was difficult."
"Yes, I noticed, " She nodded, looking around the quaint little cottage, "This is such a beautiful home. So peaceful - "
Severus' head leaned forward, resting upon hers, and they stood together in the peaceful silence hearing nothing more than their gentle breaths, the crackling fire, and the ducks by the lake. It made Dawn feel warm and loved. A peace she didn't often welcome, but with Severus, she would gladly take it. He made her feel so very much at ease, and within her busy, chaotic life he knew she needed it. His hands were soft as they rested at the base of her neck tucked beneath her scarf. His skin against hers, causing goosepimples to ripple through her body.
"I want to lay with you, " Dawn whispered, almost afraid to disturb the beautiful silence they created, "Just as we are."
Severus nodded slowly, understanding sweeping through his expression, "Anything you wish."
Without another word, Severus took her by the hand and led her to the sofa where they lay together feeling the warmth of the fireplace encompass them. His arms reached around her as she faced him, embracing each other as their foreheads once again rested in its familiarity. Her fingers brushed tenderly through his hair, relishing in their comfort and company that made the other feel safe.
The way his face melted within her touch caused her heart to skip several beats. A part of her realised that this was still new to him and that it appeared to her that it was his first time experiencing anything quite like this. So, as he did, she also ensured he was comfortable with her intimacy.
But spending Christmas in the arms of Severus was not what she expected to ever happen, but it made her soul feel so joyous at the thought of it.
She wanted every day to feel like this.
Her love for Severus only grew stronger.