Chapter for this Soundtrack:

Heart Attack - Demi Lovato

You make me glow

But I cover up, won't let it show

So I'm putting my defenses up

'Cause I don't wanna fall in love

If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack

Chapter 14:

He didn't know exactly when it occurred to him.

Two weeks of nothing but the media gushing over the new outspoken worker of the factory. How she was prospering, how the conditions were fantastic, how it was worth it to come and work off whatever you needed to for your family. There had been countless digital and television interviews Becky had participated in. The girl that had sacrificed herself for her family, now thriving in an effort to help them. Maybe things weren't so bad after all and people could make a difference in fixing their debts to society was the through line.

Becky had really taken to the deal. Making sure at every turn, she was hyping up the factory and making it sound like a great place to be.

And it was working.

Donations were being made, sponsors wanted their name plastered on the walls, and volunteers were flooding in. Tobey counted maybe 40 people had already volunteered to get ahead of their own debts building up. He was in awe over how well the plan was working. Not only was the factory doing better than ever, but he had the capacity to improve the living conditions for everyone that currently resided there.

This is manipulative.

He couldn't get the feeling out of his head. Becky was lying for him.

No, no, correction: she was lying for her family. She was doing whatever it took to get back to them. To get back to her life. Her family, her friends, her…boyfriend.

Nope. He wasn't going there. Tobey pushed the tiny, extremely familiar feeling down deep. Not only was there no need for it, but he didn't need another confusing emotion muddling up his head. Making him more emotional.

It was subtle, but he had grown up with her. To some degree, he knew her. True happiness in her eyes preceded a feeling. The energy in the room was lighter, brighter. It flowed through you like a gentle breeze. He remembered all the times she had had that effect on him; remembered some of the earliest moments when they had been becoming friends.

"Can I help you with anything today, Becky?"

Tobey's head snapped up from the book in his lap, a rare occurrence since usually nothing could break him out of his science fiction novels. But regardless, Dune sat immediately forgotten in his lap as he eavesdropped on the conversation happening outside of the stacks.

Peering around the stack, he could just vaguely see Becky Botsford standing by the front desk of the library, hands folded gently on her green sweater in front of her. She was almost standing on her top toes in her platform boots. She had recently begun shifting out of wearing skirts and fancy clothes everyday to a more casual teenager look, something Tobey had caught on to.

On accident of course. He didn't mean to pay that much attention to her. It just…happened?

"Yes, ma'am. I'm searching for a couple books for my report on the 13th amendment. I was just hoping you might be able to help guide me to where I could start?" Becky asked politely. She was being pretty quiet, but voices still traveled pretty far in a silent open room.

The librarian stood up to walk Becky over to the stacks. Tobey ducked his head and tried to make himself as small as possible in an effort to keep either of them from noticing him reading. He didn't feel in the mood to talk at that moment, nor did he want Becky to think he was eavesdropping on her.

But he couldn't keep the curiosity in check. He never could after all.

He heard their librarian pick a few books off of the shelf and described the basis of each book. Becky sounded very thankful. It wasn't lost on him how caring she could be and how that kindness could fill up any room. It was almost contagious, like a disease.

Tobey often wondered if other people felt the gravitational pull she had. The emotional effects she could cause. He knew her friends felt it to some degree, otherwise they wouldn't be around her. Teachers seemed to like her alot, so there had to be something to it beyond just him.

But what he felt- it didn't feel normal. It felt like someone shouldn't have that much power unknowingly.

It was annoying, but at the same time, it was an addiction.

"How's Paul treating you? You get to his meeting with Chani yet?"

He should have known she would find him in the library. The chances of him remaining hidden and left alone had been slim, so he shouldn't have been so caught off guard when he had been snapped out of his own head to find Becky standing above him with her stack of books in hand.

It was less of the being caught part, but more of the embarrassment that he had been pulled out of thoughts of her. And there she was, standing right in front of him.

Why was she talking to him? Trying to engage in conversation outside of class time? A small part of his brain was already wondering who had put her up to it…

"Oh whoops, sorry. You might not have met her yet," Becky apologized, blushing appearing on her face seemingly in embarrassment, "Sorry, Tobey."

"Oh no, it's okay. Their meeting was interesting to say the least. I have to say; I'm quite invested in their dynamic," Tobey reassured her, then proceeded to smirk at her in an effort to change the subject, "Interesting how you always manage to find me, Botsford. Acquired myself a new stalker, have I?"

She rolled her eyes, "Ah yes, you've discovered my master plan. Corner you in the back of the library. How clever of you."

Tobey smiled sarcastically back at her. Interacting with her felt as easy as breathing sometimes. Sure it was constant banter, but over time he had begun seeing the lightheartedness in it. The lack of malice behind any comment.

Becky gracefully plopped herself down on the floor next to him. Tobey raised an eyebrow at her, "Are you sure you wouldn't feel more comfortable in, say, a seat? By a table? Not on the floor in the back of the library as you so plainly pointed out a second ago."

"I like to believe that someone that truly loves reading can read anywhere," Becky responded, a big confident smile on her face forming as she spoke and turned towards him. It was almost smug, which Tobey appreciated.

What he wasn't quite understanding was…why was she sitting with him? Again, they weren't really friends, even if they had put their hatred for each other behind them as they had gotten older…

Was it possible that she actually enjoyed talking to him and wanted to be around him? What a foreign concept. He had no idea why. He knew why he had begun taking a liking to her presence, but what he would give to understand what was going on inside of her head.

Their classmates didn't like him. He would have understood if that had started with him becoming a villain, but they had never liked him even prior to his descent into villainy. He had also stopped attacking the city head on and causing mayhem for mayhem's sake. Destruction wasn't as interesting to him anymore. But did that stop the unanimous dislike for him? No. So he often wondered what was the point. What was the point in being good if everyone already had their preconceived biases towards you?

But Becky was different. Becky was the only one that treated him with respect, albeit sometimes sarcastic respect.

Unless it was all an elaborate prank.

"Enlighten me on how I'm supposed to get invested in a book when my nemesis is talking my ear off in a library. Something which is highly frowned upon," Tobey remarked.

"While I don't quite find nemesis to be the word to use in this scenario…"

"You wouldn't? Then pre-tell what word would you use?"

Becky thought for a second, dragging it out as long and dramatically as possible. Tobey had to hold in a sarcastic eye roll.

"Acquaintances. Do you need me to define that for you?"

A person you know but not a close friend.

Sounded reasonable, but there was a part of him that was thrown off by the term. That word kind of assumed that there was friendship involved to a degree. A small degree, maybe a miniscule degree, but still there.

So Becky Botsford thought of him enough to consider them on good terms. Maybe even almost friends.

That was the shocker. Hearing those words come out of her mouth. He almost wanted her to explain, but did he really want more to be said between them? Blurring lines between them even more? Things used to be black and white when they were enemies. What was this shade of gray she had taken him into?

He didn't hate it. Maybe it wasn't bad being gray.

"No, I think I know what you mean."

Did it matter? Why did it matter if he was manipulating her? She knew it and she didn't care. In fact, she embraced it. She wanted to get out more than she cared about her pride.

So why did he?

Tobey growled to himself. He was beginning to get extremely tired of all of the complex emotions Becky was dragging him into. He preferred the way he had been. Life had been easier and less complicated when he didn't care. When things didn't matter. When he didn't feel. He had been trying to put that wall back up ever since she arrived at the factory but no matter how hard he tried, Becky Botsford was like a gravity that kept pulling him closer and closer; the walls unable to withstand the strong gravitational pull.

Tobey set the pen down that he had in his hand next to the large stack of paperwork on his desk. The work had reached the point of mind numbing boredom, to which was usually the signal to Tobey to stop for the day. Glancing out the wall windows of his study, the setting sun was casting a purple and red glow across the sky. Tobey wasn't much for scenery, but he did appreciate the science behind the event.

There were yellow streaks as well crossing in the sky like paint brushes. Red and yellow…

Tobey shook his head in an effort to snap himself out of his own thoughts. He didn't need more emotions from his past being awoken.

Becky was already causing him enough confusion and internal emotional turmoil.

There had to be a way to calm his mind.

There was always a solution. A logical and scientific solution. Determine a problem, solve it. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself into the recesses of his own emotions. His therapist, a therapist he had at first resisted but had given some decent advice, taught him how to utilize his own mind palace as he called it: his own internal safe space where he kept his emotions and feelings.

The mind palace was a very real place in his imagination. He could almost feel the sand beneath his toes, the salt air blowing on his skin. The beach sun beating down on his face.

Each block and street on the beach led to something in his mind. A memory. An emotion. There were some he never ventured or didn't care to venture. There were some he went to too often for his liking.

He avoided stealing a peak at the red street jutting out in front of him. He knew what laid down there and he was refusing to acknowledge it. He could live in denial. But his subconscious was leading him somewhere else thankfully. It led him right back to where he had just been.

He could see the library memory with Becky. Could see her sitting next to him, hands almost touching his on the carpet. Could feel his heartbeat pumping out of his chest as he held so tightly onto his book his hands were turning red.

The library.

He knew what he wanted to do.

"I don't know if I should be worried or not…" Becky muttered, as his butler was guiding her towards Tobey down the hallway. The giant blindfold across her face was almost too small to properly cover her eyes, so Tobey wouldn't have been shocked if she could see everything. Regardless, she couldn't see beyond the two giant wooden doors behind him.

"We're here, Miss," His butler informed her, gently removing the blindfold from her eyes.

Becky took a second for her eyes to adjust to light again and she looked around getting her bearings. Tobey stood, hands behind his back, waiting patiently for her to be ready. He was pretty confident in what he was about to give her. Becky's eyes fell on Tobey first, and she frowned out of confusion.

"What are we doing here?"

Tobey stood up straight and took in a deep breath. Hopefully she would accept her gift, but there was a part of him scared of the possibility of rejection…

Could she have gotten over her anger for him? Would she even want it since it was from him? His insecurities really had a grasp over his internal monologue. The truth of the matter was that he shouldn't care how she saw him. She should still be able to hate him if she wished. She was entitled to her own emotions and feelings, and she owed him no respect and no forgiveness. He hadn't done anything to earn it.

And giving her this was not supposed to be a manipulation tactic. It was supposed to be a genuine gesture for her hard work. She deserved this.

"Over the past weeks, you have not only put in all of your energy into your actual work, but you have done a tremendous job at bringing people here to work. The factory has never been better off than it is now, and should only continue to improve as more people volunteer," Tobey began, keeping eye contact with her no matter how hard his brain tried to tear his eyes away. Another small insecurity that made him afraid to even look at her. "It has not gone unnoticed. And I extend a thank you for making that happen."

Becky slowly nodded, the confusion spreading further across her face, "Yeah, well, I'm just sticking to my part of the deal."

"As will I, I promise. I just have something I would like to offer you as my personal thank you regardless, if you would like to accept."

Tobey took a few steps back towards the large wooden door and placed one hand on the handle. He reached the other in her direction. Becky's eyebrow rose skeptically. Valid in theory. She had no reason to think this was genuine or real.

Tobey smiled at her, hoping she would trust him in that moment.

She took a deep breath and took his hand in hers.

It was true what books said. That there was a spark of electricity that flowed through two people's hands when they met. That it almost felt like your body was on fire for a split second. Tobey was, for lack of a better word, shocked the moment her hand was in his.

Feeling the rush of dusty air blow into his face was enough to cause Tobey to redirect his focus back to the task at hand. Although the lights were off, the bright outdoor light was filtering in through the giant windows and hitting them right in the eyes. Tobey had to hold in a cough from all the dust he was inhaling. He would have to clean later.

Becky looked around the enormous room, stunned.

It was a library.

The biggest library Tobey had ever been in. A library Tobey used to go to all the time as a kid. Used to get lost in the worlds and universes of the pages he read. He preferred the fictional characters of Alageasia and Westeros over the real life kids at his school. A library he hadn't gone in since his parents had died.

A deep and strong emotional feeling Tobey had believed he had repressed felt like it was simmering inside of him. Like it was threatening to boil up. It took all of his internal effort to keep it down beneath the surface.

It took only seeing Becky's reaction to pull him back to reality. Her eyes were glowing with amazement. The smile on her face was saying a thousand words yet none could escape her throat as she scanned the room.

Becky Botsford was stunned.

It was so rare Tobey almost felt energized himself by the raw emotion pouring out of the girl standing in front of him.

"This…you have a library?" She gasped finally after staring wide eyed for so long. She couldn't take her eyes off of the books.

"Tremendous, isn't it?" Tobey bragged. "I feel like every book ever written is in here, and yet I know this library doesn't even scratch the surface of all of the literature out there. Still, enough books to last a lifetime."

"How much have you read?"

"Almost all of the fiction section. All of the engineering and scientific section, and a decent amount of the biographies. I have had a lot of time on my hands," Tobey admitted. He felt quite strange being so open with her, but he wanted her to feel relaxed and comfortable enough to accept his gift.

It was just that being kind and open wasn't something he had done in a very long time.

"Can I come here?"

"Of course. It's yours now after all."

Becky stopped her frantic looking around the room and stared at Tobey, eyes as wide as they could get. Tobey found himself unable to breathe under her gaze, almost like they were both frozen in time. No moving, no breathing, no time passing.

"Mine? What do you mean?"

Tobey wanted to say that it was what she deserved. That it was the least he could do for her after all she had been doing for him. That she deserved more than a library. That a small part of him wanted to take care of her…

But he didn't say any of that.

"Ever heard of the term positive reinforcement? Well, you keep bringing in people, you'll be rewarded," Tobey replied, feigning coolness in the face of her excitement.

"I thought the time off the sentence was the reward?" Becky frowned out of suspicion.

"Yes it is. It's reinforcement for your positive attitude. For…making concessions. I know how hard it is for you to do all of this. How hard it is for you to…" Tobey met her gaze and swallowed, compelled to be extremely honest with her once more, "...work with me. It's no secret we've been enemies for a long time. And as much as that had been thoroughly enjoyable, we are stuck with one another here. Might as well…try to be amiable."

He could see her face slowly going through a journey of distrust to of surprise to finally touched. "That's…extremely reasonable of you. Who thought of it for you, Charles?" She teased, raising an eyebrow and looking in the direction of his butler.

"Charming, Botsford. No, in fact, I turned on my numerous brain cells to concoct that all on my own."

She smirked at him and rolled her eyes, but the lack of malice behind it took him off guard slightly. The last time he had felt like this…

Becky found herself walking towards the shelves, examining the sections one by one out of curiosity. Tobey began walking towards the tables set up in the middle of the library examining the thick layers of dust hanging all over the furniture. He slid a finger across the table in distaste. A few of the chairs were on the verge of breaking if anybody dared sit on them. As he thought about it, he couldn't even feel a movement of air flow in the room. Probably the ventilation would need some work.

"You actually have an original copy of "Pride and Prejudice"? How on earth did you get your hands on this?" Becky exclaimed, staring at the book on the shelf in front of her. She reached her hand out towards it, but retracted just slightly. It seemed like she was almost afraid to touch it.

Tobey knew that feeling. He felt nervous to touch anything in that room in fear of it crumbling into dust.

"Could use a bit of cleaning up in here. Nothing like a little hard work and wood cleaner won't fix!" Becky noted excitedly putting her hands on her hips and glancing around the room.

Tobey shot her a look of surprise. She actually wanted to clean?

"As much as I admire your workaholic attitude, I have people that can get this place spick and span in the matter of no time. Butler…" Tobey began to inform her before she threw her hands up waving aside his comment.

"No no no! I think it would be fun to get this place back into shape on our own. There is so much potential here! It would be a unique project, remodeling the library into the 21st century."

"Do not mock her antique look. She has feelings," Tobey interjected.

"Well, I'm sure she would be understanding of a little makeover. Dust is hardly the look this year," Becky sassed right back prior to blowing a cloud of dust off of a book she had happened to pick up.

Tobey thought over what she was proposing. She wanted to spend time in there, cleaning and remodeling with him. He would have…no, get to spend all that time with her. Was that something he wanted? Was that something he was ready for?

"Fine. But if you think I'm going to spend hours in here listening to how much you adore Elizabeth Bennet's view on life…"

"There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me," Becky recited, walking slowly towards Tobey whose heart began to speed up quicker and quicker as she approached.

She stopped about 5 feet away from him and smirked right at him. She reached up and handed him the book in her hand. The novel, surprisingly, was Dune.

"Thank you for the library, Tobey," Becky whispered gently, prior to her stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his neck for a hug.

And he had thought time had stopped earlier. That had been nothing compared to this.

Becky had never hugged him before. Even when they had been "friends" in school. The most intimacy they had ever had had been handshakes and high fives. But a hug? This was new territory for him. He couldn't even remember the last time he had been hugged honestly.

His heart was almost beating out of his chest and he knew for a fact he couldn't breathe. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought he was having a panic attack; how eerily similar the two phenomenons were…

He had been so caught off guard he had almost forgotten to hug back. Part of him felt scared to do so and the other needed to. As he held her back, a door opened inside his mind palace. One he had long closed and locked away. One he had been ignoring in hopes it would eventually die out.

It released full force.

As Becky broke the hug, she smiled one more time at him and then strode towards the front of the library to talk to his butler about her ideas for the repairs. Tobey just stared after her, remembering to allow himself to take in a few deep breaths. He felt cold almost, as if Becky had taken the warmth with her. He forgot how much he liked that feeling.

He wanted to share that warmth with her. He wanted her happiness to be as genuine and real as his was.

Once Becky had finally walked out, his butler carefully walked over to him, hands behind his back.

"Sir?" He asked slowly.

"Yes, butler, what do you need?" responded Tobey although his mind was elsewhere. Primarily with the girl that had just walked out the door.

"If I may be so frank as to point out the fact that you look…happy at the moment."

Tobey narrowed his eyes and spun his head towards his butler. "I beg your pardon?"

"I mean no offense. I just mean that I believe Ms. Botsford brings out a certain joy in you I have not seen in many years."

"I do not have time for joy. I run a large company and have many people relying on me. My happiness, which is not related to Becky, is irrelevant."

"If you say so, sir."

Whether his butler knew it or not….Tobey was a bad liar.