Disclaimer: Don't own Spy X Family, nor any of its characters.
Rating: T
A series of connected one-shots, where the duo have come to realize a certain reality they've been trying to deny, and gradually move forward from there.
Home
Afternoon
"Loid, please, let me help you" Yor breathed, taking the big pot from his hands.
He blinked, seeming curious. "Yor?"
"It's just, I know you've been busy lately" she added, briefly glancing down. "More than usual, I mean. So I thought that if I could help you out where I could, maybe you could use the extra rest."
A bit of surprise, before a small smile came up, and his eyes closed for a bit. "I see... not a bad idea" he admitted, slowly leaning more against the counter. "I suppose work has been rather hectic lately, though I wished otherwise."
Mmm, she didn't disagree; his schedule this week had made certain things a little more demanding, though it hadn't been bad. Though for now, she was a little excited to be teaching Loid how to cook her passed-down family recipe, making sure they had everything in place.
After a few moments, Loid sighed. "But for all my strength at working hard, it's a weakness of mine as well" he mused - she made a sound, looking at him. "Sometimes it can feel like work is all that I do. Or, barring that... that my body has forgotten how to relax properly sometimes."
Yor jolted, pausing in her efforts and not sure what to say-
-then Loid half-opened his eyes, glancing toward her. "Don't take my words too seriously, Yor" he added, a bit lighter. "It's more of a psychologist tactic I'm doing, than me actually wallowing in negative feelings."
"Oh, really?" she asked, curious.
"Yeah. The idea is that if you're aware of your darker side, or rather your strengths and weaknesses, that's the first step to changing them. Or improving upon them" he explained, before his little smile returned. "Granted, it can be difficult sometimes to break long-held habits, and it can take years even at the best of times to change yourself, but it's a proven process in this field."
Yor smiled. "It sounds so interesting" she said, earnest. "And I agree with what you said; you've always been a hard worker, Loid, but there are times where you kept working even when you looked tired. I'm glad you've been learning to rely upon me more often, but I still want to make sure I'm doing my fair part, if that's alright."
He looked at her a moment, before making a slight chuckle. "You already do your fair part, Yor, but I understand your meaning. I'll try to improve in that regard."
"Alright."
Loid then glanced upward. "Even beyond my work ethic though, another thing is that I can become hyper-focused on achieving a task" he continued, lighter. "It's a part of how I can achieve things so well, but if things don't go exactly as I planned, I..."
She tilted her head, but then subtly jolted and her gaze moved down toward his hands-
-her heart-rate went up a little, but after a small, silent gulp, she moved without much effort.
Loid shifted when she took his hand, but other than a glance, he didn't seem to mind (for which she was glad).
"If things don't go as you planned, you become discouraged, I think" Yor finished for him, sincere. "I remember how you said that you wanted Anya to become an Imperial Scholar at Eden Academy, and I asked if that's what she wanted."
He didn't answer verbally; he just slowly nodded, hand lightly moving against hers.
"But that said, I don't think you're arrogant or narrow-minded, Loid" she breathed, earnest. "It's just that you have that tunnel thing."
Loid arched an eyebrow, lip curving. "Tunnel vision?" he asked, slightly teasing.
"Ah yes, that!"
"Heh, I suppose I can't disagree. Seems it's something else I need to improve upon."
Yor nodded twice, embarrassed that she'd forgotten the whole term, but nonetheless agreeing. "And I'll always do my best too, Loid" she insisted, both hands held up (dragging his hand with her's, not that she noticed). "I may not have a lot of strengths, but I'll still work to improve on what I'm not good at!"
He blinked twice, before shaking his head - that made her jolt slightly, if half-confused.
"As I've said before, you have plenty of strengths, Yor" he said, patient and gentle. "You're great at accepting things as they are, even more than me; that's a trait that many people could stand to learn from. You've also got incredible grit and determination to see something through to the end, no matter how difficult it is. And of course, you have great maternal instincts due to taking care of your brother, among other things due to your past experiences."
She let out a breath, her heart-rate back up again.
His other hand slowly joined hers, looking at them for a time. "The only thing that I could consider a flaw is your inexperience at cooking" he said- despite knowing it to be the truth, that still stung to hear, at least until Loid continued: "But I don't regard it as such, because everyone has things they can't do well, yet they can still improve upon them if they try... just as you have been doing for some time now. And even other things about you, such as coming to odd conclusions or not knowing many things that people often take for granted? In my eyes, those are more a result of your childhood situation than actual flaws of your character."
She couldn't speak; Yor felt her eyes become misty, and her cheeks were warm.
Then Loid smiled. "That being said, I still accept all of the above about you, Yor. I presume that you feel the same toward me, unless I'm mistaken."
Her answer came without thinking:
"Yes, I do, Loid" she breathed, smiling back. "How can I not, when you're been so accepting of me?"
His expression got a a slight sheepish cast, but he shrugged. "Well, I know it's not just because of me. You also seem to naturally be that way, Yor."
"Well, maybe, but even still-"
Just then, Loid moved slightly - she was about to ask what's wrong until the door opened.
"Papa, mama, I'm home!" came Anya's cheery voice. "Did you miss Anya?"
Yor immediately turned her head, happy to see Anya. "Welcome home, Anya" she greeted, still smiling. "How was school?"
"Okay, I guess. But I had a lot of fun playing with Becky in gym class, so we-" the little girl said, quickly moving further into the house until she saw them. At that moment, she stopped and stared at them with a gasp, mouth open.
"Um, Anya?" Loid asked beside her, confused.
Anya blinked, then got a really big smile. "Papa and mama are flirting!"
"What?" they said in unison, "No we're...!"
They trailed off as the reality of the situation dawned (back) on them, with her and Loid looking down at their hands, still joined together. After a moment, they silently pulled away from each other, their faces a little redder... not so much because of the contact, but because they're embarrassed that Anya had seen them.
Anya giggled several times, a splash of pink in her cheeks, yet she looked so happy with that big smile.
Thankfully (for them), Bond was quick to come up and nuzzle Anya afterward, which was just what they all needed to move on to other matters.
For a time though, both of them remained a little awkward... though they did (separately) linger upon their moment.
Several days later; Yor's room
Nighttime
"Again... you're sure about this, Yor?"
Her cheeks were really red as she shifted, clearly nervous, but she slowly nodded.
"Y- Yeah" she breathed, holding her hands together; he noticed that that seemed to be a common gesture for Yor, perhaps to help strengthen her mental resolve. "We've done little but kiss for awhile, and I'm... I know it hasn't been fair, for only you to be experiencing that 'second base' thing. So t-tonight, you can do a little of... that... a-as I am a bit curious about how it feels..."
Yet again, despite his expertise, his heart-rate wasn't so easily calmed- even so, he took in a breath to do just that.
So despite seeming to accept the sensations of touching his chest, Yor was feeling a little guilty about not letting him do the same to her.
Not purely because of that, yet even so.
"...Alright" Loid managed to speak, setting his mind to the task - it's important not just for their family dynamic to remain strong for its own sake, but also for that of the mission. Then he took Yor's wrist; she wasn't surprised, but still glanced up when he did so, even as he brushed the skin of her palm with the tip of his forefinger.
"Then, I'll only do this at first. One fingertip, minimal contact, slow and steady. Whenever you've gotten used to that, if you're willing, I can gradually add my other fingers but still only use the tips, or as close to such as is possible. That being said, there's no expectation that it has to go on for awhile, or that it has to turn into a serious session, or anything similar if either of us are unwilling; the main goal is to start gradually getting used to the touch itself. If we want to stop at any point, we do so."
What he didn't say, but was certainly on his mind - and her's, more than likely - was that if she got used to that/was willing, he could go a little further as well past that until one/both of them no longer wished to. His instincts told him that seems unlikely to happen so soon (particularly since she's yet to go far on 'his side' of second base), but he nonetheless kept the possibility in the back of his mind, simply because there's still a slight chance that it might occur.
Yor glanced away, her lip briefly curling before she closed her eyes, and she took in/let out a breath as well.
"Y-Yes... um, I agree with- with everything you said, Loid."
"Mmm."
First things first though; his hand slowly rose until it came up to her cheek, which slightly startled Yor, leaving her looking at him. She realized that he'd gotten close, and was remaining that way without doing anything, which helped distract her from the situation.
Just as planned.
"Would it help if we kissed first?" he whispered, and she let out a breath. "To help break the tension?"
Yor blinked, yet her expression softened after a moment, and she gained a little smile as her demeanor eased-
-and barely did a moment pass before she leaned forward, leaving them to kiss without saying another word.
To ensure that she remained at ease, Loid kept the kiss up for a few minutes, and only then did he touch her shoulder. She moved slightly at this, even as he altered his touch so that only the tip of his forefinger was brushing against her body - tracing small circles, he gradually, gently moved across her red sweater toward her clavicle. He spent a little time tracing the curve of said bones, but it was difficult not to notice that Yor shook slightly... yet that's alright, as he spent some time just tracing. And even when he slowly moved his forefinger down, he distinctly (and carefully) only traced down the very middle of her torso, right between her chest via the middle rib bone.
Yor jolted and briefly tensed, before she made a sound upon realizing, seeming not having expected this.
Which was good, as while he carefully traced her middle rib bone a few times, Loid then made a few circular paths beneath/beside her chest (and kept it that way). As he repeated these motions, Yor eased as she noticed that he's taking his time - it wasn't long afterward that her hands gradually came up to his shoulders, resting there as she kept up their kiss.
Even without words, it clearly seems to be expressing her appreciation.
Much like the kiss, he kept up the circular motions for a minute, before he had his finger slow near the bottom of her ribs. If Yor noticed, she gave no sign, seemingly having gotten comfortable with how things are... even so, he remained poised for any sudden motions.
Slowly, carefully, his finger descended upward...
Even with the gentlest pressure, Yor hitched upon contact- yet surprisingly, though her kisses/hand motions slowed, they didn't stop.
A good sign for now, yet his attempt to speak was surprisingly(?) hard:
"...Yor."
A sound was all she made.
Loid forcibly, yet silently took in a breath to steady himself- it worked, except for the infusion of warmth in his cheeks. "If- If you want, I can talk while this happens" he managed, if closing his eyes. "To help you through this."
Yor let out a breath, sounding simultaneously surprised and wondering... then she didn't respond for a time, but from her body motions, she seemed to be thinking.
"...U-Um" Yor breathed in a faint whisper, with little hitches all-throughout. "I... I appreciate it, but I'd rather..."
Hmm?
She took a moment to pause, taking in a shaky breath afterward.
"I-I'd rather you hold me... if that's okay!"
He froze for a second, mentally blinking as this processed, then the gears started rotating again- he opened his eyes. He saw that Yor still had her eyes shut, not just from the effort of dealing with everything in this moment, but also probably trying to keep herself from 'exploding' (which he appreciated). Then he moved his other hand behind Yor's back, gently leaning her closer - after a moment, Yor returned the favor via her arms moving up around his back, though slower and rather tight in their grip. When they were lightly pressed together, and his hand in-between had made 'adjustments' to compensate, he leaned forward and kissed Yor again.
Just a little, he felt her relax at the touch, no doubt because it's gradually becoming a familiar sensation.
A good one, as well.
Slowly, delicately, they continued what they're doing...
...
Yor couldn't think; all she felt was her heart pounding, plus the tender way Loid held her and- and was touching her chest!
The sensations were small, light enough that she wasn't overwhelmed... yet they were so different from what she'd expected; they sent little thrills through her torso, of a kind that made her acutely aware of every motion, every change. She'd known in her head that would happen, as the female chest did contain plenty of nerve endings and such... b-but the reality of it all was- was pretty good...
And this is just over her clothes! I-It's nowhere near the full experience, the very thought of which was threatening her pulse to go into her ears, a-at least until she forcibly pushed it away!
In fact, she had trouble focusing on their kiss at all, especially with her pulse being what it was...
Before she knew it, some time had passed and Loid pulled away from her, catching his breath- she did as well, but in order to help distract herself:
"Umm... L-Loid?" she whispered, her voice very small.
"Yes, Yor?" he whispered back, sounding affected but still calm - after the initial surprise, she couldn't help but admire that (and that helped her too!).
"Well, I-I just... I'm wondering... why does it feel different?"
For a few seconds, other than his finger touch on her chest, Loid didn't answer- when she glanced at him, he seemed confused, and she only just realized why after a second! "I-I mean... when I'm in the bath, washing myself, it was one thing!" she whispered in a semi-hurry, if feeling hot(ter) in her cheeks and glancing away. "B-But now, here... it feels different, a- and stronger... I just don't understand why that is."
For a moment, even his finger motions had paused - when she managed to glance at him after a few seconds, his gaze had moved away, yet he had a small understanding look.
"Ah, I see" he whispered gently, slowly glancing back at her. "Well, first off, I want to say that at this moment, that question has no official answer in the field that I'm aware of. However, doctors and psychologists have noted this aspect for years now, and the current theory is that the brain receives different signals depending upon the source of the touch, for all sensations. Sort of like it sends different signals to move your pinky finger, compared to your fore finger."
Oh wow...
She knew intimately that the brain is the source of all the body signals, and so was one of the surefire methods of killing people in her assassin jobs, but she never thought about how it went about all those different signals. Ah, it's all so complex and tricky... mmm, though Yuri probably knew a lot of this stuff more than she'd retained, given how hard he'd worked on studying to get where he is now.
"So that's why it feels different?" she asked, a bit curious - Loid simply nodded. "That's interesting."
"It is" Loid breathed back. "I find the study fascinating myself, though I can only study it during breaks at work."
Hearing that made her smile a little, which really helped.
"Then, m-maybe you can keep talking about such stuff tonight" Yor breathed, leaving Loid to make a slight sound, even as she got more nervous again. "I mean... y-you said it yourself: tonight's just about this f-first experience. And, talking with you will help me feel better..."
For a few moments, he appeared to consider that.
"...It seems fair, Yor" he admitted, gentle. "Though, it shouldn't happen every time."
"Yes, of course. Or we might rely upon it too much."
Talking about this familiar aspect was really helping keep her calm, at least enough to keep going. Her heart-rate's threatening to spread into her throat, and she felt like she's one step removed from being on fire, but she knew that this will be no different than other steps... e-eventually.
"Then, would you... prefer I keep going as I have been. Or, well, slowly do a bit more?"
"I... I-I prefer if you stayed like this for a little longer" Yor half-mumbled, at least for the first words. "I... d-don't know about anything else, yet."
"Very well."
Before anything else happened, Loid gently touched her cheek and moved closer- she let out a breath, slowly getting back into the kiss. They remained that way for quite awhile, before his finger(tip) started moving back to her chest... she shook at least once or twice throughout, again, but she did slowly touch her hand to his chest in return.
She still wasn't quite ready to slip her fingers beneath his shirt... but that's okay, because he's always fine with taking their time.
Well, they've inched a little bit closer, since getting right into things would've likely been 'too much' :P