Hello you wonderful people, it's me yah boy. I know you guys wanted to see the latest chapter of one of my three main stories but my brain needed a break. Plus, I know you guys wanted to see some variety in my stories. Don't worry, this won't replace the big three. This is something to keep the creative juices flowing therefore, it'll be a rather short one. Why Randy Cunningham? It popped up on my Youtube feed and decided to give it a bit of rewatching. Shame that it got canceled before the final battle. However, I won't be doing that as my plate is full already.

So sit back and relax.

Ah…another day at Norrisville High. You know what that means. That's right. Another attack by one of McFists robots. However, it's just one today. The students shrieked, cowering in the school while Principal Slimovitz anxiously relayed safety instructions through the intercom. Several muttered that Slimovitz grew a fair as others watched the battle from their windows.

Randy groaned, blocking a flurry of swipes from the looming Slaying mantis. Fortunately, it's one of the smaller ones. "Oh, man, I was hoping for a horde of Robo-apes," He whined, ducking under a lethal slash. Of all Viceroy's creations, the Slaying mantis is among his most dangerous. The Robo-Apes were run-of-the-mill grunts for easy experience points. Straightforward enemies. He didn't have to create complex strategies for them. Although most of the time, going with the flow works for him. A cold, vicious intelligence glimmered in its cyan eyes. Fitting for the animal, it's based on. "Ninja sword," Randy called out, summoning the weapon from his suit. Yes, it's a ninjato, not a katana. Katanas were for the samurai. Randy is a ninja, even though some samurai were also ninjas too. Also, ninjatos aren't real because they're products of Hollywood, and katanas are notoriously tedious to craft, thus requiring a stopgap. However, you're not here for a history lesson.

"ELIMINATE THE NINJA!" The metallic insectoid mimic chittered in a static tone, alarming the students. Its apathetic eyes blazed a deep blood red, slashing its jagged talons through the crisp morning air.

"Oh shit, it can talk," Someone from the school acknowledged. These robots never talked except that one Robo-ape. It's been years since I've watched the show, so please correct me if I'm wrong.

"Looks like Viceroy made some upgrades," Randy remarked, twirling his blade before gripping it in his palms. The opponents glared with their muscles and wires twitching, ready for action before a silent gunshot fired off as they charged toward each other. Randy parried the hurricane of strikes with the sturdy backside of his blade. He recently acquired this new blade. Mr. Smith crafted it resembling his last blade, using various sword designs and a few added touches. Katanas were the main inspiration, with the slight curve of the blade stopping at a razor angle at the tip. The red and black handle rested comfortably in his grip, with a flaming tengu flowing from the tsuba to the hilt. The tengu is his avatar and one of his loyal companions. It deserves a spot in his iconic weapon. Randy grinned at the serene heat, reminding him he wasn't alone. He slashed at an incoming claw swipe. "Man, these things are tough. Must a new alloy," The hero grunted from the sparkles ejecting from their attacks.

"Exterminate!" Slaying mantis roared with twitching mandibles. No other thoughts are processed in its cortex.

"Blah, Blah, Blah, I get it, dude," Randy mocked with a hand gesture, rolling his eyes. His eyes widened at his phrase. "Or girl," He corrected, hopping over its steel frontal legs. "What are your pronouns?" Randy pointed his sword at the beast, who shrugged at the question.

"It's a robot; who cares?" Debbie countered from their homeroom window. Others furiously debated at the suggestion. "Are we really talking about this?" She narrowed her eyes at her classmates. They have better things to worry about, like surviving until the next period. "Machines don't have genders!" The petite Asian informed the ninja, leaning forward. Her hands formed a perimeter around her mouth, projecting her voice for the Ninja to hear.

"I'm not trying to get canceled," Randy retorted, performing a series of backflips to create distances. "Psst! I know my show took place from 2013 to 2014. However, the author doesn't recall much from that era, so we're using whatever is relevant in the current year," He whispered to the readers before scanning the insectoid's frame. Crap, Mrs. Driscoll gave a lesson on insects when she's not flirting with her husband's skeleton. Randy groaned at the lingering missing information. Come on, Cunningham. "Okay, Praying Mantis are matriarchal like most insects," He threw a trio of Chakram. "Ninja air fist," The swift fist-shaped gust propelled the whirling circular blades, ready to dismantle the bucket of shiny bolts. Slaying mantis shrieked at the approaching silvery streaks. Its targeting system analyzed the blades' flight pattern and wind trajectory, predicting a counterattack. Two swipes were required. One for the air fist and another for the Chakrams. His sapphire eyes widened, observing the serrated hooks pop his attack like a cheap amusement park ballon. "Come on!" Randy stomped with his hands in the air, irked at the unexpected move. The metallic rings slashed three clean lines into the grass. Since when did they learn to block? A groan escaped his throat, taking another observation of the machine's thin thorax and abdomen. "You're a male mantis," He connected the dots. The automaton nodded to confirm

"Duh, I could've told you that," Flute girl scoffed in a nasal voice, crossing her arms. Oh gosh, she thought the Ninja was supposed to be smart. At least he's smarter than Randy. We need a name for you. I can't keep calling you Flute girl for the entire story. Let's go, basic white girl names. Why do I feel she'll post 'Not like other girls' memes on her social media accounts?

"But ya didn't!" Everyone countered and glared at the arrogant know-it-all who grumbled in her chair.

"If you can do a better job, we're all ears," Morgan dully retorted, resting on the floor.

The Slaying Mantis reengaged the brutal assaults while Randy grunted from each strike, vibrating his sword and sending it to his forearms. He stepped back, parrying a diagonal slice with a calculating gaze of the right claw. Mhm. The screws and bolts are different with rust spots. Spare parts? A rushed last-minute creation? No. His deep blue narrowed, creating another smaller blade to guard his exposed side for the remaining claw. Students gasped at the impending guillotine on their hero. He gritted his teeth, struggling to push against the robot, creating a trail of soft brown dirt with a mini mountain growing at his heels.

"Times getting tight, so give me a hand; to win this fight, I need warriors of sand," Randy grumbled, using his strength to push against the machine. A duo of sand warriors materialized in the air, slashing the claws with their grainy blades. Both nodded to their creator. "Ninja Air fist," He used sheathed his blades, circling his gloved hands in front of him as the airflow intensified and solidified. His sapphire eyes blazed before unleashing a three-hit combo staggering the Slaying Mantis from the assault. The strike cracked the narrow blocky midsection with a few thin lines. One of the bulbous eyes shattered, exposing the sparking wires. Randy glanced at the fallen glass shards, nuts, and bolts, issuing a command to the dust soldiers.

"Go, ninja!" The crowd cheered. They didn't know what happened but were glad that it did. All they knew was that the Ninja had the advantage again.

"Exterminate!" Slaying Mantis screeched as it flailed around to squash the trio. Some students covered their ears to protect themselves from the ear-bleeding wail. The Sandja's blitzed around, pummeling the legs, reforming when evenly bisected to resume.

"Think like your enemy to defeat your enemy," Randy read off a tip performed by the Nomicon, holding back a row of forearm blades. A series of stylized arrows pointed to the Mantis's claws. "Ninja Kamas," He muttered with twin miniature scythes, twirling the sturdy handles between his agile fingers. Both sand summonses changed their weapons before rushing in and splitting off. One focused on the upper body using a Kaginawa. The grainy grappling hook hardened into a concrete-like material. Sandja #1 lodged two of the hooks into the underside of the minuscule gaps of a claw joint, yanking Slaying Mantis to the side. Its partner destabilized the leg segments with a Manrikigusari. Each slam rumbled the joints losing whatever secure binding it had until the mechanized arthropod collapsed, kneeling on the left side.

"Error, Error, Error," Slaying Mantis groaned with its remaining eye flashing crimson and a warning triangle.

"Alright, time for this new move," Randy muttered, gripping his kamas. The deep black suit enflamed in a glowing scarlet, burning foliage under his soles. His blades glowed with the Tengu's inferno. "Scorching slash!" He slashed the air, shooting a blazing X-shape vermillion flames at the automaton. The surgical slices melted the sturdy armor into a glowing white-hot slime. It dripped to the verdant grass igniting small flames. Each upper body joint crashed like a Jenga puzzle, still glowing from the intense aerial thousand-degree knife. The eyes flickered before shutting down as Randy approached. His igneous scythe bisected the defunct head invoking cheers from the students. The sand warriors appeared before their master bowing their heads while crumbling to dust. Randy exhaled, returning to his standard form as the heat simmered. "Art of Invisibility," His body vanished without a trace.

"Woah," They marveled before groaning at the school bell as Randy appeared next to Howard with a fist bump. Each smiling for another victory. Time to start the day.

Several hours passed since the attack. , Brent, and the metal shop class salvaged the material for future weapons. They need to find any weaknesses in upcoming battles. The students chatted while Mrs. Driscoll marked their last week's quiz while holding her late husband's hand with a faint smile. ALRIGHT, AFRICAN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM! Can we talk about how fucking weird Mrs. Driscoll is with her husband? He is … DEAD! Probably for years now, depending on when he died. Ma'am, just let it go already. It's, it's just wow. I'm sure that she's breaking several laws from her displayed behavior. I understand that this is a cartoon. Her husband was a scientist and therefore consented for his body to be used as a scientific tool but seven minutes in heaven with a skeleton. That's textbook necrophilia. Man, Brook would be jealous of Jerry. However, what type of demon dicking did Jerry do to Marlene to make her this down bad? No, down horrendous. Maybe, I should use that for one of my chapters in Lincoln's logbook or for Crystal Prison. On the other hand, Marlene could simply be mentally unstable and needs to see an excellent doctor to overcome her grief, or Jerry did some unspeakable experiments on her, resulting in the Bellatrix level of obsession. They can do a series of Netflix documentaries and case studies on this woman.

"Alright, students," Marlene called out while straightening the stack of marked papers. They stopped their prattle, turning their attention forward. "The lowest score was a C-Plus," The elderly science teacher announced to the class before rising. A jubilant chatter spread amongst the students, smiling and exchanging handshakes as with Randy and Howard. They needed some great news before lunch. Her wrinkled fingers organized the pile. "Let's start from the top. We have three perfect scores," Everyone leaned forward, awaiting the results. Crossing their fingers and toes as they prayed to whatever deity could hear their pleads. "Debbie Kang," That was obvious as she swaggered towards the desk. Debbie's one of the most intelligent people in school. Two more A-pluses remained. "Carol Elliott," Flute girl smirked while retrieving her paper. One remained. Who'll win the lottery? Marlene sighed after a pregnant pause. She can't believe the following words coming out of her mouth. "Randy Cunningham," The science teacher revealed in a low voice. Silence thicker than cold oatmeal permeated the room as they gazed at the final contestant. Randy blinked owlishly; his sapphire eyes bounced around before pointing at himself with a vacant, bewildered expression. Marlene nodded to confirm, sliding the paper forward with his name on it.

"WHAT THE JUICE?!" Debbie bellowed with the class, except Theresa and Howard congratulated their friend. "Him?!" She shot an accusing finger at the proclaimed slacker and abruptly stood with her quiz resting near her fingers. Randy gave Howard a fist bump before approaching his teacher.

"Yes," Marlene remarked as Randy grabbed his quiz, observing the bright red score. Even the Nomicon praised his efforts. "It surprised me too," She confessed with a shrug before smiling at the drastic improvement.

"Then he must have cheated with Howard," Debbie claimed, glaring at the duo. How else did someone like Randy Cunningham receive a prestigious grade? He got a smiley sticker too. Howard gasped, placing a hand on his chest, offered from the indictment.

"You calling me a liar?" Randy exclaimed, puffing his chest. Yeah, he's a ninja. Cheating and deception are vital components of his job description. Ninjas don't fight fair. However, the Nomicon is persistent about him keeping a strict moral compass. The needle ticking towards Lawful and Neutral Good to temper his Chaotic Good and Neutral temperament.

"Well, I ain't calling you a truther!" Debbie slammed her flag into the ground. She made her claim and stuck with it.

"Debbie, I understand the surprise," Marlene arose and replied to the irate Asian with a sympathetic tone. "However, I gave each of you similar yet unique quizzes," She emphasized the quiz's structure. "Different wording and question order to keep you, kids, on your phalanges," Malene explained. At the same time, Debbie scanned her paper keenly, absorbing new information. Unique quiz?

"Let me see that," The petite girl demanded in a low voice, surveying Randy's quiz paper. She handed it back. "Ugh, fine. I'll let you have this one," Debbie groaned, poking him in the chest with a delicate curve of her lips. Randy arched an inquisitive brow at her voice's tone. It's friendlier and more playful instead of the typical haughty address. Tsundere much? The Nomicon summoned various question marks and shrugging figures with arrows pointing at Debbie. The short girl shot him another glance over the shoulder as they returned to their seats. His sapphire eyes gazed at her swaying hips of hers. Theresa pouted with an annoyed grumble under her breath, narrowing her eyes at Debbie. The latter shrugged and smirked, glimmering teasing amusement.

"Besides, Howard got a B-minus. You were one point away from a C-plus," Marlene informed the second party's grade. Still an improvement.

"Aw yeah, I'll take it!" Howard said with a wide beam, hopping to the desk as some people complained about the grades. Randy got in the top three while Howard achieved the middle. "B's get degrees," He declared, holding up his quiz. Finally, his family can get off his back for a while. The chubby boy returned to his seat, glancing at Randy's paper for answers.

"If these numbskulls make it to the review sessions for extra credit and form a study group. That's no skin off my teeth," Jerry 'spoke' with Marlene as his puppeteer, motioning his lower mandible. They groaned, smacking their foreheads at the missed extra credit. Now Randy and Howard were more responsible than them. The Der Monster Club grinned at their companion's feats. They all got extra credit from their biology teacher, spending extra hours at the library after school. Shame that Dave sprouts his wings, joining the marching band not long ago. They acquired a new member in Melissa Hart. She's a lithe girl with deep, dark brick red hair and a keen interest in heavy metal and the occult.

Marlene glanced at the remaining stack of papers. "For the A-minuses, not in a particular order. Theresa Fowler," Randy smiled at his close friend strolling to the teacher with half-lidded eyes. His friends snickered at the heartstruck gaze as they knew what's up.

Randy caught their amused gazes, diverting his gazes to the window with scarlet cheeks.

"Hey, Randy," Theresa said, startling him for a moment but able to maintain his composure. "Can I see your paper, please? I want to see what I got wrong," She requested with a bright smile.

"Sure," Randy stammered, pushing the paper to the edge of his desk. However, she had a different idea. Theresa grabbed her chair, placing it beside him. Their shoulders touched, spreading Randy's blush to his ears and her cheeks. Randy clarified her minor errors as she got closer to him while the rest of the names were called until the bell rang.

The intercom groaned to life, gathering the school's attention. "Good morning, everyone," the Principal started the daily announcement, grateful that the threat was solved. Fortunately, his car wasn't damaged this time. He checked his watch. "Sorry, good afternoon, my mistake," The lanky man corrected his earlier statement. "This week is the annual spring dance," He revealed to the ecstatic students. Oh yeah, the big dance. One of the significant milestones in a teenager's life. "This year's theme is…." His fingers rummaged through the bowl of paper stripes. He fixed his glasses to observe the writing. "Oh…Starlight Fairytale," Irving's eyes brightened at the dance's theme. It's been years since Norrisville High had such a whimsical theme.

"Tickets will be on sale later today," He continued the announcement. "So find your prince or princess charming and get your happily ever after," Irving encouraged the teenagers to have a wonderful time before clicking off the intercom. "Ah, young love," He sighed contently, relaxing in his chair. His grin was prolonged while searching through his contacts for the event. The school received a handsome donation from McFist from recent attacks. They can splurge a bit for the dance. He tapped his chin, gathering his thoughts on the logistics. "Oh, volunteers and the art clubs," Irving determined his course of action, typing a document on his computer.

The students obeyed his order, already planning their course of action. Friends encourage each other to ask that person out; otherwise, they'll never get the chance. Others decided to go with their friend groups. A reliable choice for those without a date. No shame in it. Besides, it's a party. Great food, upbeat music, and a few photos for social media to fondly remember years after graduation. Some already acquired a date, preventing complications. However, one girl isn't as fortunate.

Heidi sneered at her phone. "Are you shitting me?" She fumed at the paragraph with gritted teeth. The blue light illuminated gorgeously furious features. Her date was canceled at the last minute due to a family emergency. Yeah, she still had over a week left, but it's a matter of principle. "Fuck, we already coordinated our outfits," Heidi complained, snarling with the charm of an overripen sour lemon before slamming her locker. Bystanders flinched at the sharp crash, backing away from her with raised hands and nervous sweat glistening on their brows. Others cleared a path for the choleric Heidi. Two cerulean flames crackled with fury and self-consciousness; her hand eased the diamond-creating pressure on her phone. She surveyed the halls of fellow teenagers as pairs were created in her view. Her reporter's ears detected slimy gossip from a tiny sept of girls snickering behind the redhead's back as she walked past.

Alaysia leaned toward her classmates. "You heard that Heidi got stood up right before the dance," Her smirk and green eyes filled with contempt and glee. She spoke louder, ensuring that Heidi heard them clearly.

"Via text too?" Lare gasped in a pseudo shock. She's a girl with golden eyes and ruddy skin after forgetting her sunscreen from the recent pool trip. Heidi squinted her eyes at the stocky girl. Or were they brown because of the sunlight? Her jeans obscured a tiny ankle tattoo.

"Suck to be her right now," They giggled, forcing the subject of their jeers to accelerate her pace with a hardened line marking her face.

Heidi entered her 'office,' locking the door behind her and shutting the blinds. She sighed, sinking into the black swivel chair like a bulbous couch marshmallow on a Friday night. Her body eased into the quaint empty section of the studio. There's no Gossip report scheduled today. "I can't go stag for the spring dance!" She groaned, pacing around the empty with impatient footsteps like a spoiled Eric Cartman waiting for the store release of the Wii game console. You know the episode. The one where he froze himself because he didn't want to wait a few weeks, woke up centuries in the future, went back in time, discovering the wait time increased. "I'm Heidi Weinerman, one of the most popular girls in Norrisville High," Heidi remarked before pausing in her tracks. She blinked owlishly as the gravity of her word flickered in the cerebrum. "Wait…I'm Heidi Weinerman, one of the most popular girls in Norrisville High," The orange haired repeated in an ecstatic voice. Her grin widened, reaching the underside of her eyes upon discovering the answer. Everything made sense after submitting an assignment. It's so obvious. She skipped to her desk, rummaging through the drawers for her recording equipment. "Alright," Heidi fixed her webcam, adjusting it to capture the best lighting before easing into her chair. She exhaled, getting into reporter mode. "Take one," The red recording button blinked for the video. Maybe she should write a script for this. Nah. It'd be more genuine if Heidi improvised as she spoke.

"Man, this dance is going to be so bruce," Howard predicted, his bright smile eager for the forthcoming event. He exchanged a customized handshake with Randy. His new next-door neighbor.

"I know, it's going to be the cheese," Randy continued the conversation on their path to the cafeteria.

"What type of cheese?" Howard questioned with an arched brow. We can't go for aged cheddar for this dance. Definitely not blue cheese. Gross. Who puts mold in cheese?!

"Smoked gouda," Randy whispered with jazz hands. His grin was subtle, and hyping the dance as Howard gestured an Ok sign. "You taking anyone to the dance?" The mystery hero asked. His enhanced ears caught a squad of students rushing down the hall as the shoes flopped and squeaked against the smooth floor. They're heading to the gym? Weird.

Howard shook his head. "Nah, this man's flying solo," He admitted with outstretched straightened arms, swaying his chubby form. The images of Morgan, the school's stoned-face dance master, rested in his imagination. However, even with his sluggish intelligence, Howard was aware of the inevitable rejection, like going to the bathroom after gouging at an all-you-can-eat Taco buffet. Furthermore, Morgan probably chose to go with her dance crew. The girls are likely practicing right now. His smirk widened with a sly glance. "I know you're taking someone," Howard teased, wiggling his eyebrows. Randy's scarlet face turned skyward while whistling a casual tune. "Perhaps a particular… twirl team member," He nudged his best friend in the torso with his elbow. "Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, hint, hint," The redhead's mischievous voice, dripping with a sibling's blackmail.

"Oh, yes, but I'm trying to figure out how to do it," Randy admitted in a hushed voice. His deep blue eyes bounced around, searching for her. He doesn't smell rainbows nearby or any stank clouds. The Nomicon warned him to be alert throughout the week, for a rancid cloud of verdant rejection was around the corner. The Sorceress may also pop up, but she won't masquerade as Amanda again. It'll be insanely idiotic to reuse that lovely form a third time.

"How about asking the girl straight to her face in private or a handwritten note saying, hey, I think you're awesome, and would you like to go to Funkytown with me?" Howard suggested, with finger guns shuffling his arms.

Randy opened his mouth to reply but couldn't find a weakness. "I…uh…huh," He stammered while rubbing his chin. "That's actually a pretty good idea," Randy admitted, glancing at the rhythmic crimson flashing of his book. It's simple and straightforward but needs a significant rewording. Various images of nodding drawings floated in his vision. "Even the Nomicon agrees with you," His hand patted the bag affectionately.

"Oh yeah," Howard chuckled in his best Kool-Aid man voice before they entered the suspiciously vacant cafeteria.

"Ummmm…" The friends muttered at the scene, sharing a bewildered look. This is weird. It's not an empty graveyard but a reverse decimation., resulting in a handful of students in the vicinity. The observable people ate at their tables or waited on the lunch line. Where is everyone? Randy spotted an empty table with Debbie and Theresa eating their lunches, focusing on the girls. Nomicon … persuaded him to continuously hone the Super Senses skill. Various past Ninjas emphasized improving this critical skill, one of the few viable skills without the suit. How awesome is that?! OH, he hoped that the Nomicon allowed him to keep that skill. Randy either focused on a particular sense such as smell for the Sorcerer's schemes or shuffled all sensations throughout the day for better control since the incident.

A kaleidoscope of unease erupted across his skin. He groaned and shuddered, recalling the overwhelming sensory overstimulation from his first attempt. It's an utter miracle that Randy's brain didn't neutralize from the rapid influx of sensory data besieging him. He stood several meters in the air yet could tally everything single hair from a balding man in the parking lot. Shit, even make-up particles and stained lip grooves of a mother holding her child's caramel-coated hand. His hands did little to muffle the liquefying cacophony of piercing screams of rollercoasters and their occupants. The foul greasy smell of three-day-old vegetable oil deep-frying corn dogs, funnel cakes, and french fries. Randy shuddered, discovering the prominent salty aftertaste on his tongue. He tugged at his suffocating obsidian suit, desperately searching for fresh air. Why the fuck was this so tight?! Fortunately, Randy controlled his senses to vanquish the episode's monster.

He gestured for Howard to follow him. They should have some answers. "Hey, where the juice is, everyone?" Randy asked, setting himself on the other side of the table with his bag on top. No stank or robots. It has to be something else. His razor eyes scoured the area, gingerly reaching toward his mask for any potential threat while wearing his usual jovial and carefree mask. Now, what's the menu? Kang has chicken fried rice, complemented by peas, crunchy carrots, and fluffy eggs. Oh, that's heavy garlic right there. Theresa enjoyed a classic chicken caesar salad. All we're missing is a dozen or so knives.

"You didn't see the Gossip Report a few minutes ago?" Debbie questioned, fiddling around with her oil-coated spoon, pointing at them. The boys shook their heads, invoking an eye roll from her. Debbie activated her smartphone, showing the boys what caused the empty cafeteria.

The video loaded, displaying Howard's older situation. "Hello, Norrisville High," Heidi purred with a flirtatious wiggle of her fingers. Howard gagged at the voice. Oh god, that's her scheming and flirtatious voice. The younger brother rolled his eyes with a groan, resting his face on one of his hands. Heidi continued with a practiced melancholic expression. "Tragic news, my date for the spring dance got canceled at the last moment because of a family emergency," She explained, wiping an imaginary tear before breaking a charming grin. "However, guys, it's your lucky day," Heidi announced, pointing to the camera like a late-night commercial salesman attempting to persuade the viewer to purchase an overpriced product with a litany of pseudo-science terms. All she was missing was a 1-800 number slithering across the bottom line of the screen.

"Ohhhhhh…," Howard and Randy mouthed, aware of the direction of the videos. Never mind, there it is.

"Yep," The girls nodded with a blank expression. It's not as annoying when Amanda joined their school, wrangling the boys into horny drones. Although, this is probably worse since they know the girl.

"This princess needs a dashing prince charming," Heidi broadcasted to her viewers. "Come me find in the gymnasium," The camera panned her surroundings. A crimson stanchion parched before an interview table. It switched back to her. "May the odds be in your favor~," Heidi blew a sweet kiss into the camera before it faded to black with the replay icon on the screen.

"If you can excuse me, I'm going to barf," Howard cringed, his face flushed smoothie of multiple green hues. He and a nearby trashcan became bosom buddies.

"So, are you going?" Theresa asked after a short pause. Her somber voice carried the mass of countless sad puppy eyes.

"Nah," Randy replied, easing Theresa's anxious heart. "I'm not interested in her that way," He shrugged. Heidi's attractive, but she doesn't rock his boat.

"THANK THE SWEET LORD HELIX!" Howard declared with his head in the rumbling trash. The protagonist hooking up with his best friend's older sister is an overrated cliche.

"What about the last time?" Debbie recalled.

Randy inhaled sharply with a wince. "Oh that …," He muttered, recalling when the Nomicon usurped control over his body, turning him into a selfish jerk. That's a new function. Honestly, it sounds like something from a movie. "I think I got stanked at least a new type where it wonks out my brain instead of my body," Randy lied, attempting to convince his classmates. He waited for the girls to respond as they shared a glance. Come on, it's not that outrageous of a lie.

"Eh," Both shrugged, resuming their eating. Randy smiled at his calculated success while going through his lunch bag. Yes, they believed it. Today's meal is smoked pork buns. He deactivated his Enhanced Senses, holding one of the buns in his grasp. No sensory overload for this ninja.

Howard returned with a steaming tray of edible food for once. It's about time someone issued that lawsuit. "Check out the Sad Man parade," He whispered, gesturing to the cafeteria door. They turned their attention to the herd of dejected students dragging their feet under the black miasma of cutthroat humiliation.

"Shit, even Bash too," Debbie whispered at the snarling wealthy brute. He plunged a squirming Bucky into a trash can. That should take him down several pegs, at least. Her eyes widened, imagining the potential aggression. "Fuck,"

"This isn't good," Randy acknowledged as the cafeteria filled with disheartened students. Rejection. An eternal fear for adolescents and adults alike. It's an unavoidable fundamental of reality like death and taxes(unless you're a billionaire). All your efforts are rendered meaningless with a simple NO, shattering your self-esteem into pieces like a stale granola bar. Perfect for the Sorceror to corrupt into a rampaging beast. The most Stank monsters he dealt with were four. Theresa, Julian, Dave, and Juggo, but now Heidi influenced dozens of potential nightmares.

"Julian, you too?" Theresa gasped at her fellow club member as he joined their table.

"Yes, I have to partake in a Sisyphian task," Julian confessed mournfully, propping his chin under his pale hand. What was he thinking? He and Heidi?!

"Sisyph-what?" Howard mumbled with food in his maw, holding his hamburger.

"He's the guy in Greco-Roman mythology pushing a boulder up a mountain only for it to slide back down as his punishment for tricking the gods," Randy answered, tossing a bun into his mouth. They stared at him with dumbstruck eyes. How does he know that? "What?" He asked before swallowing.

"As you see, I'm maidenless," Julian rested his head on the table. His top hat rolled off to Randy.

"Dum spiro spero, Julian," Randy encouraged, holding the purple hat. His friends screwed up their faces at the phrase. Latin?! Debbie narrowed her eyes at his suspicious nature. A 100% on a quiz, and now he knows Latin? An eerie sense of deja vu rumbled in her brain. Did she do this already? Why can't Debbie remember?

"While I breathe, I hope," Julian translated the phrase, arching his brow with a delicate grin. That's new. He didn't expect someone like Randy. Although it's still words of encouragement.

Randy nodded. "Come on, if you had the confidence to ask Heidi Weinerman, then you can do it," He tossed the head covering to the goth before glancing to a table at his right. "Like a metal redhead," Randy smirked, gesturing to Melissa. Julian's cheek flushed a brilliant scarlet, shooting a sheepish glance with his hat covering his narrow chest.

"Do it, you coward," Howard demanded. Theresa raised her thumb in support. Julian gulped and nodded as he steeled his nerves. They watched him approach Melissa with a bow, invoking a rare smile on her face before sitting down.

"Nice," The table congratulated their classmate. More rejected students entered the cafeteria.

"I better stop this," Randy declared, taking a stand. The Stank meter is getting over 9000.

"You know my sister, Cunningham," Howard burped, disgusting the girls with the pungent smell.

"Exactly," Randy implied about his battle strategy. "Oh, I almost forgot about this," He searched through his backpack. "Miss. Ringwald asked me to give you this, Theresa," His cheeks glowed a sheepish pink with a slight stammer in his voice as he passed her some paper. Howard's eyes exploded at what he did. How did he do it without anyone knowing? Oh, wait, right, ninja skills. "Well, I'll see you guys later," Randy rambled off before speeding to the door.

"What was that all about?" Debbie questioned before concentrating on Howard's toothy beam.

"I don't know," Howard replied in a sing-song voice. Theresa's eyes expanded as she read off the writing. There's an extra message in Randy's handwriting!

"She didn't give homework," The short Asian scrambled for an answer. "So what is it, Theresa?" She asked but received nothing in return. "Theresa?" Debbie asked again, rotating her head. Theresa had a lovey-dovey expression, gazing at whatever Randy gave her. Debbie observed the floating hearts above her best friend's head as she circled something. Three…Two…One. "Are you shitting me?!" She exclaimed under her breath after putting two and two together and getting forty-eight.

Randy strolled to the gymnasium's entrance with an anxiously giddy smile. He smacked his cheeks. "Come on, get your head in the game Cunningham," His gaze sharpened at the crimson velvet ropes. "No line?" He muttered while approaching the shrouded table. She must have a draconian vetting process, or people gave up before even trying. Both.

"Next…" Heidi announced, analyzing her list. Is that all of the available guys? She grumbled. Hardly any of them were good. The opening veil caught her attention, swapping to reporter mode. The timer starts…now. "Hey, welcom-Randy?!" Heidi greeted with a charming smile before her eyes bulged out at the next contestant. "What are you doing here?" She viewed him cynically as he took a seat. Did Howard put him up to this?

"Asking you the same," Randy retorted, placing his hands on the table. "And you finally got my name right," Come on, Nomicon, give me some answers or lessons. The current ninja pleaded mentally. Words can be more powerful than the sword. Beat your enemy; think like your enemy. "So…what's one of the most popular girls in school doing…this?" He inquired, gesturing to the speeding dating setup.

Heidi perked at the praise. "Well, once you get to my age," She smirked, placing a hand on her bosom. Perhaps, this would be fun to entertain this. "You'll learn that reputation and appearances are vital," There's her classic ego.

"You're barely two years older than me," Randy chuckled at the statement. "I know you tidied up with that new fragrance you're wearing," He acknowledged to her shock. No ninja skills, just Cunningham skills. His nose detected the gentle romantic floral scents of vanilla, lavender, and jasmine. She often prefers floral or fruity smells. An aerial fruit salad is what he and Howard described her room.

"How did you know that?" Heidi questioned, blinking owlishly. Her heart soared at the familiarity, writing down the points. It sent a splash of pink across her features before burying them. No way! Just remain calm, Weinerman.

"Heidi, we've known each other for over ten years," Randy revealed, crossing his arms with a boyish smirk. "I know a few things about you," He challenged

Heidi lowered her eyelids with an inquisitive smirk of her own. "Is that so?" She purred, leaning forward, and rolled her red pen to the side. "Let's test your knowledge, Sandy," Heidi taunted, pressing pause on the timer. The teenager chatted, sharing a few laughs throughout the conversation until it was time for class.

Heidi reviewed her notes from the speed dating on her computer screen. "Nope, negative, oh fuck no," She winced at the participants. The elder Weinerman scanned all her options during this late evening at her study desk. It's a quarter past nine. They had already eaten dinner for the night. Her mouse stopped at a particular name; Randy Cunningham. "Mhm," She pushed up her clear blue light blocking glasses. Her parents were worried about her spending extensive time on her electronic devices. The content creator scrolled through her requirements for a date. Handsome, intelligent, funny, charming, and quick-witted. "Huh, that sounds like Randy," Heidi muttered to herself. An amber alert blared into her cerebrum. Wait a second! "No, no, no,nooooooo," She shook her head at the ridiculousness of the subject. Her and Randy at the dance? As if! "Okay, let's start from the beginning. Handsome," Several pictures of Randy appeared on the screen. "He's not ugly," She acknowledged before zooming in on a photo of him at the swimming pool. Her eyes widened at his toned physique. "Holy shit, he has some muscle to him. When the hell did he start to work out?" Heidi muttered, losing herself into his enchanting sapphire eyes for a moment. His hair was purple this entire time. Why did she assume that it was a strange shade of black? Intelligent. "Howard said that Randy got an A-plus in Miss. Discroll's class," Heidi giggled at the astonished looks on his classmates' faces. Same with Howard and his B-minus. Her body relaxed as she gazed longingly, tracing his features on her computer screen. "Maybe…Randy's not such a bad guy after all," The orange head whispered with a delicate scarlet on her cheeks, frowning at how she treated him. In a way, it's hilarious, deliberately misnaming him but can't fathom how aggravating that is. She knew him for years but could not recall such a simple fact. Their prior conversation enlightened her on his potential once the childhood veil was removed from her eyes. He was similar to Howard a few months ago but grew into a mature and respectable man with a good heart. She smiled, recalling how he took the heat when they were under her supervision. A steady strumming of a guitar interrupted her thoughts. "Huh," She rotated her head and stepped to the window. That's from Randy's room.

"There's one thing I can tell you for certain. Lately, I've searching for my purpose, will you show me where the earth ends?" Randy sang from his room, stimulating her tender nerves as he continued the song.

"Oh great, he can sing too," Heidi muttered, her hazy aqua eyes ogled toward her new neighbor. She bit her bottom lip with pink cheeks, gilding her hand across the bosom when several knocks on her door broke the spell.

"Yo Heidi, the shower's all yours," Howard announced from the other side.

"It's about time," Heidi scoffed, using her normal voice to deceive him. She sideglanced the window as he continued to play another song. Her steamy breath stained the glass, using her finger to create a heart.

H.W + R.C

Oh she got it bad for Cunningham. Don't worry, it'll get worse which means more entertaining for me and you guys. Like I said, in my QTQ chapter, this story will sustain you guys between long updates as I find these stories easier and simpler for me to do especially when I'm going through a creative drought.

Thanks for reading the story. Follow and Favorite if you enjoyed the story. Leave a review for any questions or to show your support. Thank you and have a wonderful day. :)