DISCLAIMER: SKIP BEAT! and its associated characters are the work of Yoshiki Nakamura. This author claims no ownership of Skip Beat or any of its characters. All other rights reserved.
Author's Notes at bottom of the page.
Chapter IV: Koi no Yokan
On the first day of her last summer vacation, Kyoko woke before dawn.
This was not in itself unusual.
It was, in fact, her habit.
A girl who went to school and managed a good portion of the ryokan's business had no choice, really, if she was going to get any time to herself. She loved the quiet hours, punctuated only by the birdsong that told her that the sun was on its way. She used the time to think on her little pleasures-the feel of her body stretching, the rough weave on her blanket. A neatly stacked set of schoolbooks. It was a habit she'd picked up after coming back-a means of telling herself I am still alive.
Whenever she could, she would dress quickly and sneak out to the river before she was expected in the kitchen, and watch the sunrise from the rock where she and Corn used to sit as children. Was she waiting for him? The feeling was ridiculous...but she felt almost close to him there, even though she was all but convinced he was never really real. Her old self would've skipped to the rock, communing with fairies and imagining pretty gossamer wings following behind her. Now...well...now it was enough just to watch the sun creep over the horizon, dispelling the mist often shrouded the little river valley. For thirteen months since her return from Tokyo, she had watched the seasons change by their stream. Clutching Corn in hand, she'd seen the green summer give way to momiji in the fall, and then to sakura that spring. And now it was high summer again, and she was a little older even though it felt like she'd been sleepwalking through that entire year.
My last summer of childhood, she thought. Next year, if all went well, she'd be attending Kyoto University in a business management program with a focus on international sales.
The thought should've excited her, but instead it made her sigh.
I am grateful, she said to herself. I have been given a legacy. I have the support of Fuwa-san and Yayoi-san, my mother has blessed my path forward...I am engaged in peaceful occupation. Even the Buddha would smile at me.
And then she bottled the feeling of restlessness and locked it up for the hundredth time. What purpose did it serve to coddle it?
The past few days had been particularly trying. Hizuri-sama, her reclusive charge, was proving a challenging guest to please. He spoke only English, for one. He was a man of eccentric requests. His first demand after receiving dinner that first night had been to call down to the front desk for a DVD or Bluray player for his room's TV, which was not to be installed by hotel staff but to be left at his suite's door. Afterward, he disappeared into his room, declining housekeeping services. There was to be no entrance into his suite by anyone whatsoever, he declared to the ryokan's phone operator, and he had no need of toiletries and the little niceties the ryokan liked to give to their guests. No one could tell if he had even left the suite since his arrival.
Fujiwara-san, the ryokan's head of housekeeping, had accosted Kyoko and Yayoi-san after that request had been received.
"Okami-san! Hizuri-sama has declined all housekeeping...and his attitude...we have no means of even knowing what state the room will be in if he declines cleaning for an entire month!"
Yayoi set her mouth in a thin line. "We must bear with it, Fujiwara-san. With the funds Hizuri-sama is paying, we can afford to refurnish the entire suite if we need to."
"And he sounds so old and feeble, Okami-san! What if he hurts himself with no one checking in on him?"
"Nevertheless, Fujiwara-san, he has requested his privacy and we will accommodate him as he has requested."
Kyoko did not believe Yayoi's indifference for a minute. It was true that the funds secured for Hizuri-sama's stay were exorbitant. His family had instructed Yayoi-san to spare no expense to see to his comfort. But the suite Hizuri-sama occupied had a 17th century byobu in it, as well as a number of other irreplaceable items belonging to the ryokan. Certainly, things like the tatami floor could be torn out, a new futon could simply be bought. But some things could not be replaced so easily. And the guest truly did sound old. Surely Yayoi was just a little concerned? The older woman was inscrutable, though.
Yayoi just shook her head, gave Kyoko a long look, and said, "I trust you to resolve this with our guest, Kyoko. You're his concierge. You know we must keep our precious okyakusan happy."
Worst of all was the fact that the man was apparently cantankerous with his food habits. The first night, Kyoko had clashed with him when he didn't want his dinner...and yet he'd eaten every bite. The next morning, she had left for school after giving the kitchen specific instructions to give him a light breakfast-and he had returned the bowl of rice porridge they had prepared with barely a bite or two missing from it and a note from the old man to "not bother anymore if they were going to feed him this slop." She'd made him dinner that night, again, and he'd eaten it all, but the next morning, had rejected the Western-style breakfast of ham and eggs that he'd requested. This time the note asked for "the person who makes my dinner to make my breakfast."
Well, she hadn't been able to make his breakfast the prior days, but now that she no longer needed to be at school so early, she could make it for him and perhaps fix it if it was not to his liking. Kyoko was not going to give up on Hizuri-ojii-san. He was their precious okyakusan, after all, and had probably traveled a good long way to rest here. To have gone two days eating just one meal in the evening! It was barbaric. The ryokan could not be accused of starving someone who had been placed in their care like this. Perhaps he had not left the room because he was too tired after not getting enough to eat? Kyoko shook her head. Her schooling had taken priority over Hizuri-sama's comfort these last few days, but he had been placed in her care by none other than Yayoi-san and his own family members. What kind of Okami-san would she become if she couldn't take care of one lonely, cranky, possibly ill old man?
And so she sat on the rock where she'd first watched Corn fly, watching the sun peek over the hills and spending time meditating upon the day ahead.
As the sun bathed the world in gold, she rose to greet it with her arms upraised, stretching and breathing and feeling the strength of the ground through her feet and up her back and then through the crown of her head.
Refreshed and awakened, she turned to make a start for the day. Back to the ryokan, to make breakfast for Hizuri-sama, and then maybe on to the market for ingredients. Maybe she'd get started on her summer homework that night.
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Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
Kuon woke, groaned and reached for the offending cell phone.
"Moshi moshi?" he rasped. Serve them right for calling before the sun was even up.
"Kuon."
Kuon sat up with a start. "Shachou?" Of course it would be Lory. Who else would call Ren Tsuruga at 5am? Yashiro would know better.
"I hear you haven't been eating breakfast."
"You're waking me up at 5 fucking AM because of breakfast?!"
"And that Hizuri-ojii-sama has been terrorizing the housekeeping staff?"
Kuon groaned. "Who've you been talking to?"
He heard a wry laugh.
"The Okami-san wanted to know why you have her staff believing that you're an old man. Ne, jii-san?"
"It's easier to keep them from seeing me this way and asking questions."
"Well, the Okami-san was particularly concerned because your personal concierge seems to think you're deathly ill…and that your beloved son had sent his father to the countryside to recuperate."
Lory as...my son? My personal concierge thinks this? Kuon remembered the melodic voice outside his door, insisting he eat his dinner. The rest of the staff had given him a wide berth, not pushing back on his refusal to eat breakfast. But this person-she was persistent, he'd give her that. Last night, she'd gently berated him, addressing him like a senile grandfather for throwing out food, before asking him what he wanted for breakfast today. She'd promised him she'd cook it herself.
"Ah. Yeah. That concierge is kinda pushy about food, Lory. Lectures me on breakfast. Pretty unique for a Japanese inn staffer. Most of them kinda bow and then leave you alone."
"I told her to take a firm hand with your food, Kuon."
"What? Why?"
A guffaw. "I thought we'd established that I was calling because you aren't eating breakfast."
"No way you're calling about just breakfast, Lory, and I still think you're up to something."
"What something could I possibly be up to? Is there something you think you ought to tell me?"
"Hardly. So. Why are you talking to the Okami-san"
"I take it she followed my instructions and was the only one to see you check in?"
"Yeah. I figured you and Ruto had worked that out."
"I like discrete places like that. I'll have to remember it if I ever need to send anyone out to Kyoto."
Kuon could hear Lory take a puff off his cigar. "I told the Okami-san and your concierge to call me personally if they had concerns, Kuon. And your Okami-san was very confused, indeed, as to why the princely bishounen she welcomed to the ryokan turned into a cranky old man."
"You didn't tell her who I was, did you?"
"What, that you're Kuu's son? Or that you're Ren Tsuruga?"
"Either one!" Kuon sputtered.
"Ha! Ye of little faith, Kuon. Of course not."
"This entire stay is ridiculous."
"It's an all-expenses paid vacation at a luxury property in Kyoto. Looks awfully nice in the photos. You should enjoy it. When was the last time you actually had a vacation?"
"Well, I don't get how I'm supposed to stay here for another month. That's CRAZY, Lory. I'm going crazy in this room, and it's only been a few days. I've caught up on scripts, I've been binge-watching Kurosawa movies, I don't know what else you want me to do. There's only so many pullups I can do here."
"I never told you you had to stay in that room, though I'm surprised. Your old self would've been out having orgies by now."
Kuon's face colored. "Orgies!? The actual fuck? What kind of guy did you think I was?"
"Well, certainly not the type of guy to bitch about staying in a nice suite that he can leave at any time. You're throwing tantrums like a teenager. Honestly, Kuon, did you stay fifteen, after all?"
"Ugh."
"Ugh," Lory mimicked. "The Gion Matsuri is ongoing in Kyoto right now. Maybe you should go."
"I can't believe you'd suggest that. I'll get recognized."
"Did the Okami-san recognize you?"
"No."
"Did you know she watched Dark Moon all last year? I told her I had worked with the production. She even said she thought Ren Tsuruga was handsome in it, though not quite as good as Shuuhei Hozu."
"And beyond that…" Lory hesitated. "You haven't had a chance to even go to a real matsuri, have you, Kuon? You've been all work and no play since you came to Japan."
Kuon was quiet for a moment.
"No one will recognize you. Dress like an American tourist. Ask the concierge to be your translator while you're out there and people will never know."
"I still think it's risky."
"I think it's risky that you aren't eating breakfast, but still somehow manage to look the way you do."
"Oh for fuck's sake, I'm eating breakfast today. The concierge is making it."
"Oh ho ho. The concierge makes you breakfast?"
"No. Apparently the last few times the kitchen's made it. They overseason everything."
"And the concierge doesn't?"
"The dinners have been pretty tasty."
"Is she cute?"
"What? Cute? Who?"
"The concierge."
"Oh, ok, so first you cancel everything I've got booked for a month, then you send me out here in that godforsaken toy you call a rental car, then you stalk my eating habits, and now you're asking about this concierge?" Kuon's voice rose. "What the fuck, Lory? What the actual fuck?"
"Calm down, Kuon."
Kuon could feel Lory's laconic grin. "But you haven't told me whether you think she's cute."
"Ren Tsuruga can't have a girlfriend."
"Ohh ho hoho. A girlfriend? A girlfriend? Did I ask whether Ren wanted a girlfriend? I just asked if you thought she was cute. So she IS cute, huh?"
"Will you please stop? I haven't even seen her face."
"But you like her cooking."
"She's a professional, I'm sure she's been well-trained."
"High praise from Ren, indeed, for you to want to eat her cooking. I've never even heard of such a thing. I'll have to visit myself."
"Oh no. No no no. You're not coming here. At least it's quiet here. You're going to bring feathers and snakes and a mariachi band and god knows what else while you're here."
"So cruel, Kuon."
"Hmmph."
Silence on the line. And then a more sober voice, "I sent you there to figure out some shit. Didn't I say it? Figure out what made you happy back then. Doesn't sound like you're doing anything except wallowing in resentment."
"Hard to do that trapped in a room with nothing to do. I told you. Finishing a shoot. Getting shit done. That's what makes me happy. And I can't do any of that if I'm trapped here."
"You're the only one that's keeping yourself in there. I'm going to ask you again: what made you happy in Kyoto?"
Another silence.
"Do you want to keep acting? Does acting make you happy? Not sure if it was clear from our last conversation, but I think you're lost right now. I don't think you really want to act anymore. You need to figure that shit out before you come back, because otherwise I'm not sure what else I can do for you."
"Why are you so fixated on this happiness bullshit?"
"Because you can't act right now. You're miserable. You're sitting there going 'oh, this is what I have to do. Since when did you think of your job as a duty?"
Kuon sighed. Lory was right. All through his long struggle with the Katsuki character, he'd dreaded every moment he was on set. It had affected him so badly he'd once found himself in his car with his head in his hands-in the middle of a busy intersection. He'd been so upset that he hadn't noticed the traffic he was holding up. It had taken an angry driver's horn to wake him.
On the other side of the line, Lory paused. "Ok. I'll leave you to figure it out. Go to the matsuri. Take the concierge as camouflage. You'll be fine."
"Right. Ok."
"Oh, and Kuon?"
"Hmm?"
"Quit being an asshole to the staff."
The line went dead.
Ah shit, Kuon thought.
Outside, the sun had risen.
Well, he thought, I don't think going back to sleep is possible. Might as well go for a hike. He was out of DVDs, anyway, and his breakfast wouldn't come until 10. Given how early it was, he could probably minimize interactions with the staff or other guests, too, if he got back before it was too late.
Clad in jeans, a tshirt, and hiking boots, Kuon Hizuri, known to most as Ren Tsuruga, headed out for a morning hike without subterfuge or disguise of any kind.
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Minutes into his hike, he'd been overtaken by a manga cliche. No, not just manga...he'd practiced the same move just months ago in Dark Moon. Ogata had made him shoot the sequence over and over, Momose barely containing her irritation at him as take after take was rejected. The stunt was to catch the girl before she fell and hit her head, cradling it gently before it hit the ground. He could still hear the director. "Ren, you're not moving fast enough. You run into Mizuki by accident, and she means so much to you that you are compelled to catch her before she can injure herself. You have to catch her! Do it like you mean it!" He hadn't expected to rehearse it again in these woods...but then, the girl had come from nowhere and he'd been distracted after recognizing the old river bank where he'd been a fairy prince.
Well, he'd done it perfectly this time. He'd moved quickly, on instinct. The path rising from the river was somewhat steep and full of rocks, it would not do to have her dash her head against one. The girl in his arms was lithe, slender, and trembling, her eyes screwed shut after having yelped as she fell. She smelled like strawberries and the forest, a green, sweet smell mixed with the warmth of her skin.
"Are you OK?" he asked worriedly.
He was unprepared-totally, utterly unprepared-for the zap! and fizz! of lightning between them when she opened her eyes.
Wide, upturned, amber eyes. He knew these eyes. He remembered them well.
Years later, he would think back on this moment and identify it as the minute he'd felt the great locks open and the wheel of life begin to spin. For a second, just for a second, he saw a future stemming from the moment he had caught her-a million new probabilities and possibilities that had not existed just seconds before. He had a vision of a great red rope that had pulled taut and borne him along, leading him, step-by-step, to her. Always to her, and no other. From then, his fate was as fixed as the course of the stars in the heavens.
But right now, all he could hear was the rush of his heart as it sped dokidokidokidoki in his chest.
The girl looked dazed. Softly, so softly he almost missed it, she asked, "Corn?"
Amber eyes gazed into emerald ones as he breathed, "Kyoko...chan. Do you...do you remember me? We met here once, so long ago."
Her eyes widened, her body startled, and he realized with a jerk that he was still holding her. He loosened his arms, moving back so as not to trap her, offering her his hand as he stood.
Delight, surprise, incredulity-she was as easy to read as she'd been as a six year old. The expressions crossed her face like clouds across a windy sky. She sprang up from the ground with the same smile she used to greet him with, and his heart leapt to see the joy in it.
"COR-" And then the name died on her lips as her eyes swept up and down his figure, focused on his hiking boots, the shirt, the jeans with his mobile phone in the pocket. The smile faded with every detail she took in and when their eyes met again, it wasn't delight he found in them. It was horror.
A blush had stained her cheeks red as she flinched and stepped away from him as if he were a snake.
"Corn…" she said. "You're...not a fairy, are you?"
"No...I'm sorry, Kyoko-chan, I was only a kid and you seemed so happy…"
"You're...American?"
"Yes. I'm staying at an inn nearby."
She kept staring at him, unblinking, her brow furrowed in concentration. Her face was turning white now, and she was backing away from him slowly. On her face, a look of bewilderment compounded her horror as her dawning recognition made his stomach drop.
"Kyoko-chan...Listen, I'm sorry-can I exp-"
She looked as if she were measuring the very bones of his body.
"Tsuruga Ren. You're Tsuruga Ren."
It was his turn to flinch now. Was she a fan of his? This girl who he hadn't met in over ten years-who'd recognized him as her childhood friend immediately-immediately recognized him as the movie star not five minutes from having met him again.
"Did you know, Corn?" she asked with a hollow voice. She was trembling, an unfathomable light in her eyes. A little louder-"Did you know who I was? When you threw me out of LME?" The voice had a furious edge to it.
"Threw you out of LME?" There was only one girl Ren had ever thrown out of LME-the copper-haired girl who had wanted revenge, the one Lory wanted to track down. Dumbstruck, Kuon looked at the girl whose eyes had started to water. That girl had been named Kyoko, too. She hadn't looked anything like his Kyoko, except...except her eyes.
"How...how dare you!"
Too early seen unknown, and known too late, he thought. "I didn't know...I swear I didn't..!"
She got up and turned her back to him, walking briskly, and then running away.
"Wait! Kyoko-chan!"
He gave chase, falling behind her. The terrain worked to her advantage...she knew every step, every turn. He felt like an elephant lumbering after a gazelle. Clearing the edge of the woods, he finally caught her.
She spun around to face him.
"Won't you let me explain?" he asked.
Her shoulders slumped. "My name is Mogami, Tsuruga-san. And I...have morning duties to attend to at the ryokan where I work, Tsuruga-san," she said. "But I will meet you here again at noon if you insist."
"I insist," he said.
One more puzzle piece clicked into place as he saw her walk into the ryokan. He recognized her voice, now. The concierge, he thought. It's her.
He had been slow on the uptake, but surely the gods were having fun at his expense. The clear light of day had spelled it all out for him. He and Kyoko, by the river as children. He and Kyoko, at LME. He and Kyoko, under the same ryokan roof, separated only by a shoji screen.
Well, he thought, I hope she's still bringing me breakfast.
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Kyoko swept into the ryokan and then back into her room like a storm wind.
No matter how one looked at it, the morning had seemed like a bad dream.
Idiot idiot idiot, she thought.
To find that Corn was human was probably not unexpected. That she had believed he was a fairy all these years left her indignant more at herself than at him, because what kind of adult believes in fairies? Did she believe in Santa Claus, as well? Had Corn simply been a random American who'd played with her as a boy, she would have been disappointed but understanding. But the second revelation-that Tsuruga Ren was Corn...that Tsuruga Ren was, in fact, an American with blonde hair and green eyes...well. That was unbelievable.
A vision rose, unbidden: the golden blaze of Corn's hair in the morning sun as he had leaned over her. The unforgettable green of his eyes.
Doki doki went her heart and she slammed the feeling down into a box before it could take form as a thought.
No. This was not to be acknowledged. Tsuruga-san made a career of making women's hearts beat faster. That he was good-looking was a given. It did not mean anything. Had she learned nothing? Had she not been given a second chance at building a life beyond slavery to love?
Tsuruga-san looks awfully good with blonde hair and green eyes, she thought and that thought was slammed into a box, too. Because Tsuruga-san is a conceited man who looks down on people, she thought.
And he hated her. Absolutely, positively hated her.
But wait, was that really true?
She shook her head. He was unmistakably Corn. And unmistakably Tsuruga Ren. Japan's #1 actor had been acting even when they'd met as children, she supposed.
She heard an echo from the Corn of her past…a fairy prince whose wings would grow just to be torn off…
Was it that, then? Had something so horrible happened to him as a child that he could only speak of it as a fairy tale?
She had left him before he could explain, she realized that now, but the few words she had let him speak told her that he hadn't recognized her at LME. The baffled look in his eyes confirmed it. Had she been too quick to judge him? Running away wasn't a habit she sought to cultivate, but she'd fled before she could listen to him.
And then there was this entire matter of his disguise.
Kyoko was certain that a blonde Tsuruga Ren would be as devastating to the Japanese female demographic as the current dark-haired version was, if not more so. So why did he dye his hair? And why was he here? Was he in Kyoto filming on-location at Arashimaya? Perhaps he'd wandered over from the bamboo groves that were frequented by tourists and somehow found himself by their river.
I probably shouldn't think of it as 'our' river anymore, Kyoko thought.
She would make Hizuri-sama his breakfast, and then meet Tsuruga-san again in the forest.
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Kyoko stood outside Hizuri-san's door with not one but two breakfasts, a Western one consisting of an omelette and a Japanese one with grilled fish, rice, and a soup. She was balancing the two trays stacked on top of each other. The odd request had come to the front desk itself, not terribly long after Kyoko made it back from the forest.
For her sake, she hoped the old man would eat at least one portion.
Knock knock.
She put the trays down and turned to leave-he had never wanted anyone to enter the room.
Instead, she heard the sound of the door opening behind her.
And in a morning full of surprises, one last surprise awaited her. She had imagined a frail, cantankerous man, still fiercely independent despite his infirmities...stoop-shouldered, querulous, wrinkled, striding along determinedly with a cane.
Instead, he was there.
"Tsuruga-san!?" His voice echoed in her head… "I'm staying at an inn nearby…"
"I'm sorry, Kyoko-chan. I didn't want to wait until noon."
Kyoko-chan. Tsuruga-san is calling me Kyoko-chan. Even after I asked him to call me Mogami-san. She stood there dumbly, staring at him.
"Will you have breakfast with me? I'll explain everything."
"Ano...Tsuruga-san...where is Hizuri-sama?" She felt she knew the answer to this question.
Under Kyoko's gaze, Kuon's face flushed. Tsuruga-san is blushing? Am I right, then?
"I am sorry. Shall we start over?"
He gave a deep sigh, and then, to her surprise, bowed.
"My name is Kuon Hizuri. Hajimemashite."
"Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?"
"I'm sorry. I was acting as an old man to disguise myself. I apologize. I know now how much of an inconvenience I've been. "
"EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?"
"Kyoko-chan…"
The girl in front of him had turned into a stone statue, mouth hanging open.
"Please. Come in. Have breakfast with me."
Faced with such a morning, Kyoko could only turn to politeness to save her from the absurdity of it all.
She bowed in return. "Sumimasen, Hizuri-sama, it would be improper for me to have breakfast with our treasured okyakusan."
"No, Kyoko-chan, we are old childhood friends. I am Kuon. Or Corn."
"Nevertheless, I insist. Hizuri-sama must enjoy his breakfast in peace." I haven't given him permission to call me Kyoko-chan! she thought desperately.
"It's Kuon. Treat me like an American, if it helps. And I insist, as your okyakusan, that you have breakfast with me. I have already asked Yayoi-san if I may consult with you on activities to do while in Kyoto."
"K-Kuon," she said, tasting the word in her mouth. "I...must've not heard it correctly when we were children. Corn...Not Tsuruga-san?"
"For now, no." Nod nod went the blonde head. "And please...will you allow me to call you Kyoko?"
Kyoko's traitorous heart had been doing somersaults as he asked. "Why are you asking now? You've been calling me 'Kyoko-chan' all morning. I just thought it was very American of you."
"I am sorry. I know I've been unpardonably rude-but...I've thought of you as Kyoko-chan all these years. So please. Can we talk?"
"And you'll explain?"
"If you'll have breakfast with me."
The trays were brought in, the breakfast placed on the table set in the middle of his suite.
"Choose," he gestured.
"I will eat what Hizuri-sa...Kuon...doesn't want."
He placed the Japanese breakfast in front of her, choosing the omelette.
"Why? Why all of this?" She took out the old rock that he'd treasured as a child, holding it reverently. "I thought you were a real fairy for the longest time. I believed in this rock you gave me. I've kept it by me all this time."
"I am glad it helped you. But the only magic in it was my earnest wish to stop your tears."
"Ohh it helped. It did. Even when people were cruel. Even when you threw me out of LME."
Kuon had the grace to look abashed. "I didn't know it was you. I swear I didn't."
He paused. "But even if I had…"
"Would you still have done such a thing?" she asked.
"Would you believe me if I told you it enraged me? Your whole revenge play?"
"You didn't even know me! You didn't know anything about who I was, why I wanted the revenge...nothing!"
"It pissed me off watching someone throw themselves away over something so pointless as revenge. I've severed all my ties with my family, Kyoko. Severed ties with my past-I've even severed ties with my own face. And all in the name of becoming a world-class actor. When I saw you treat the audition like some amusement, it pissed me off. Would you have believed that if I told you?"
"Is everyone this insufferable in showbiz?"
"Insufferable?"
She mimicked him. "Ohhhh I am the great Tsuruga Ren. I am a world class actor. I live for my art! I've sacrificed everything!"
She snorted as she took a bite of her fish. "Do you believe everyone you work with has such pure motives? Do you think you're the only one who's had to sacrifice anything, Tsuruga-san?"
"I didn't mean it like that-"
"No. Let me finish. I truly didn't know what I would do back then, you know. I had been living just to work meaningless jobs for someone who couldn't care less about me. Do you understand? I had nothing. And you-you actor, you came in with your clothes and your manager and your money and the pick of any role you wanted to play...you had EVERYTHING and you threw me out. You made such a show of it."
Seeing him look ashamed was gratifying.
"Severing ties," she mused. "I left everything behind here, too, you know. Is it all men, or just men in showbusiness?"
"What do you mean?"
"Shotaro 'severed ties' too. Told his parents to consider him dead...even though he asked me to come with him to be his personal servant. It was stupid, but I did it because I thought I loved him. He thought it was his right to own me like a slave. You men...you boys both act as if this 'leaving everything behind' bit gives you the right to look down on the rest of us."
She speared some takuan and ate it. "But my leaving behind everything here didn't matter to him, either. Both of you threw me out of your lives like a bag of trash."
"It...it wasn't like that. I just..."
"Then what was it like?"
"You're right...it was unforgivable of me to treat you like that."
"And yet here we are."
"I'm sorry," he said.
She looked at him blankly.
"I truly am sorry." He sighed. "Shall I tell you a story?"
"I just want to understand."
"Once upon a time..."
"I...I don't believe in fairy tales anymore," Kyoko said with a rueful smile.
"Then I'll tell it in prose. Do you remember a Japanese actor named Shuuhei Hozu who went to the United States to star in Hollywood films? His name, now, is Kuu Hizuri."
"Yes...I do," she said.
"Kuu Hizuri is my father. My mother is Julienna Hizuri, the model. And when I was younger I could not get out from under their shadow. There were...bullies. When I met you, I had just been fired from a movie role that would've made me a well-known child actor. Everyone looked down on me and said I had only been considered because of who my parents were. Cedric Bennett took the role instead."
She took the information in, her eyes softening.
"It got a lot worse as I got older I had to leave. The years right before I left...I...got into trouble. A lot of it. And one night I got into a huge fight...and my friend died because of me. He chased after me while I was on a rampage...I didn't even realize he was behind me until the car had already hit him. I couldn't look my parents in the eyes, and I had nowhere else to go."
"My father's hands are too big," Kyoko breathed. "Oh Corn. I wish I had listened to you the way you had listened to me back then. You...you did so much for me and yet I took you for granted."
"...You were six years old."
"A six-year-old is old enough to give comfort when a friend is sad. I thought of you often. I kept thinking 'I wonder if Corn has grown his wings and is flying freely.'"
"I'm sorry, Kuon."
"I'm sorry too. More sorry than you know."
Silence.
"But this...doesn't explain why you're here."
"Honestly, I'm not really sure why I'm here either. The President sent me."
Kyoko thought back to her audition-to the ridiculous man who'd shown up with his own private carnival as an entourage, complete with showgirls and confetti.
"I think it's because he knows I've been a failure as an actor. I think he wants me to figure out if I even want to keep acting."
"You? Tsuruga Ren, Japan's #1 actor, the one all women want to be embraced by?"
"I couldn't figure out the role of Katsuki, and everyone hated it. I don't think anyone's realized it yet, but I'm in a slump. And Lory doesn't think I'm going to be able to get over it. So...it was terribly arrogant of me to look down on you. But he sent me here to remember a time when I was happy."
"And the last time I was really happy was with you."
Both of them had stopped eating.
"I know this is a lot to tell you...and very few people know my secret. But I want you to know that I've thought about you all these years, and I'd like to keep knowing you. Can we start over? As friends. If you can forgive me for LME. And for Ojii-san throwing out breakfast."
"I...I'd like that, Kuon," she said.
"Good."
A small smile was on his face as he took her hand. "Friends, then."
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Author's Notes:
Sorry sorry sorry-this is version 2 of the story. I wasn't exactly happy with the first version posted so I rewrote the end bits of this chapter.
Koi no Yokan - a phrase meaning "the premonition of love," or, according to the Google, "the feeling upon first meeting someone that you will inevitably fall in love with them."
I'm sorry this chapter is so long and so awkward. I hope it is not boring. But I promise the next one is better!