Michael Afton: Outlived Purpose

by ParticularlyLargeRat

THIS STORY IS GETTING COMPLETELY REMASTERED AFTER CHAPTER 50; IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THIS FIC, I RECOMMEND WAITING UNTIL THAT HAPPENS IF YOU WANNA READ AN ACTUAL QUALITY FIRST 20 CHAPTERS! -.-.- Michael Afton survives the Pizzeria Simulator fire and applies to the Pizzaplex when it opens to free what souls might be trapped there. There aren't any, and the animatronic gang grows on him

35. Chapter 35

NOTES

Heya.

Remember chapter 28? Monty's chapter, that ended up ridiculously long at 18,000 words?

Looked somethin' up, thought it was interesting. Turns out 18,000 was more than a third of the length of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which totals at 46,333 words.

Crazy right?

Haha.

Anyway, this chapter is 52,283 words long.

Enjoy.

(Seriously might wanna consider breaking this chapter up into bite-sized chunks. Like, it took me multiple days to proofread this chapter once. Trying to crank it out in one night will reduce your brain to mush by the time you're even halfway done.)

(Notes are on the bottom again :D )

---

Birthday

(Oh my god you can center text?)

- Pshh -

"Wolf?"

"Mmmmmbbbdbdbb..."

"Understood."

- Pshh -

Wolfie's wiped. Can't say that's much of a surprise - she's been working nonstop for the last 20-odd hours.

Monty's decision to turn our stack of papers into a concussive blast eliminated any hope of finishing with time to spare last night, so everyone stuck around helping 'till the sun rose and it was time for the animatronics to do their thing.

Think it'll be alright though; there can't possibly be as much to sort as there was yesterday.. Bet I can manage these last little scraps Coop found without any help before too much of the night has passed.

Not entirely sure where to go, if I'm being honest with you. All he told me in his unintelligible message was that the 'last bit's here.' The reasonable assumption would be to head back to the offloading area where we were in last night, but I'm secretly hoping that's not the case.. It might just be the first place Coop thought to go, but there's always a chance that the reason they need to unload there is because they found another 'truckload' of stuff to rummage through..

I'm a little torn on whether or not I hope this next portion to be as utterly pointless as the last one.. On one hand, the safest route would be the pointless one, but it can get tedious.. Cooper got a kick out of some of the stories I had to offer about what little 'interesting' things we ended up finding in that last pile, but I'm pretty sure he's also the only one who thought any of that effort was worth it.

Speaking of which, Coop was particularly fond of the Minireena plastic story, despite it not being much of a 'story' at all. Specifically, he pretty impressed with how small the damn things were. I think so, anyway.. Since from that point on he'd only talk to me in incoherent ramblings about how fascinating William's knack for creation was.

- Pshh -

Absolutely not.

"Rox."

"No, shut up." She mutters quietly, rubbing her eyes and hobbling towards me.

"Go get sleep. I'm sure I'll be done by the time you wake up."

"It's fine, it's gonna be faster this time.."

"I know, so I'll get it done quickly on my own. Go to bed."

"It'll be faster with, like.. Two.. People.."

"You can barely speak."

"Yes I can.. Stop talking, let's go."

Look at you..

"No- Rox, listen, I've gotta put a foot down this time. You're already about to die where you stand."

"Put as many feet down as you want, I don't care."

"This is not a fight you're gonna win, Roxy-pox."

"I'm going. You'll need help... What did you just call me?"

"I don't need help."

"You might."

"I won't."

"How confident."

"I am."

"Remember last time you were so damn sure of something?"

"Regardless if I need help or not, you're not in any condition to do so."

"I'm fine."

"You were in bed when I walked in your room twenty seconds ago; most of the way asleep."

"So?"

What do you mean 'so'?!

...

"Tell you what.. We can go check out what they brought back, and if it incredibly obvious I won't need help just from looking at it, I'm making you go back to bed."

"Mike, you-"

"Look- We can't 'chill' if you're half asleep anyway. I'll wake you up when I'm done."

Roxy attempts to glare at me, but her already narrowed eyes from being asleep a moment prior makes it hard for her to look intimidating.

"..Fine.."

"Alright.. Get out of your costume first; we don't want that getting dirty in case you end up helping."

"What?"

"Your performing uniform. What you're wearing right now."

"Oh.." Roxy raises her arms a bit and looks down at herself, apparently unaware that she had forgotten to change before passing out on her bed "..No, that's dumb. I'd get dirty."

"What?"

"If I take it off, the dirt'll get in my friggen' fur and whatever."

...

"Get out of your costume and change into something else."

"Oh."

"Are you positive you wouldn't rather get sleep right now?"

"I'm fine, be right back."

...

"I'll be here.."

Despite desperately wanting to push my point further, I shut up and let her hobble back to her room.

...

'I'm fine' my ass..

---

...

Well. It isn't a truck this time, at least.

Instead we've got one of those inconspicuous white electrician vans, with both a sliding door and a double-back door.

That's kind of neat. I didn't think they made very many of those that had both.. That could be entirely untrue, though. It's not like I've had very much experience with these things. Maybe most of them are made this way.

"Mm.. Rape van.."

Sigh.

"Wolf."

"Look at it."

"It's not. Those don't have side doors, or windows."

"It looks like one."

"How do you even know what those are?"

"Computer."

"Why? What have you been looking at on my computer?"

"Nothing. Where's the friggen boss-man..?" Roxy mumbles, hobbling around in the complete opposite direction of the approaching boss-man.

Hate to be the 'parent', but think I oughta check out that browsing history later.. I'm connected to the building's WiFi, so if Coop or anyone can see the weird stuff you look up, they'll think I'M the one-

"OhhMikey you're in fer' a treat..!"

Oh boy.

"Hey.. You're looking-"

Coop entirely ignores my attempt at conversation and swings around me, wrapping an arm over my shoulder.

"Guess what's in that truck."

"In the van?"

"In the van."

"I don't know."

"If ya had to guess, what is it?"

"Uhm.."

"We found it in Freddy's Pizzeriiiaaaa~" Cooper sings, prodding me in a direction I'm reluctant to think of as a possibility..

"..."

"How 'bout guessing where we found it?"

...

"In the Parts & Service room."

"Smart-un."

I resist the urge to groan.

...

Really, really didn't like to think about it, but that's pretty much what I was expecting..

I didn't notice until I'd already left for home last night, but Cooper expressed the day before that there would be more to sort through tonight because 'he had trouble getting into a couple places".. Hoped that just meant there was rubble in front of a door somewhere in another location, but I had a hard time believing that.

What could I have done anyway? Even if I knew that Coop acquired the measures to open that damn door, I still didn't have the toolset to do so myself. The unfortunate fact of the matter is: Cooper and the police can search the parts & service room, and I can't. There's nothing I could have done, unless maybe tried to sabotage their efforts in some way.. And even if I did, what would that earn me? Another day? They wanted that door open, and I didn't have a way to convince them otherwise, so whether I delayed them a day, week, or month, they would've made their way in all the same..

..I say 'they' is because it could've been any number of personal opening that door for any number of reasons.. The police found evidence strong enough to reopen a long-dead case. So it's not hard to imagine they got permission to blow the door down for the sake of gathering more evidence.

Or maybe it was just another favor Cooper called in/. He seems to have good relations with everyone on the planet, so maybe he just had a demolitionist pop his head in and blow the door open.

Or maybe it was Cooper himself, with his mysterious-ass ways of getting what he needs..

Hell, I have no reason to believe they 'blew' the door open at all. For all I know, someone could've said the magic words and the door would've opened up on it's own.

Who knows, maybe I just had to ask the door nicely.

...

As much as I've been harassing Rox to go to bed, I didn't get much sleep either. Was constantly torn between getting up and checking things out myself or just letting people gather stuff and bring it here to me tonight. It's pretty hard to fall asleep when you're constantly teetering on the edge of getting up and leaving the house.

There was some rest once I managed to internalize that no matter what I did that night, everything's already been scrounged up, so it's not like leaving for the pizzeria would've given me any advantage.

Sigh.

Despite feeling a slight tug of fatigue in the back of all my muscles, it's been pretty easy to keep myself wide awake from apprehension alone.

..You know, I've gotta cautiously admit.. It's starting to seem like there wasn't anything too bad back there.. Everyone else seems rather cool and collected.. Y'know, how you'd expect people to act if they made a discovery of mild interest, and not something akin to a cartoony mascot-bloodbath.

I let my gaze return back to the van while Cooper gives a few polite instructions to those nearby, still wrapped around my shoulder.

If that's the case, then I gotta say.. I'm kind of interested about what they found too.. There's a good chance I'll see a couple things I've never gotten to see before. That thought's a little worrying, but maybe a bit exciting as well..

...

A discolored, shambling part of the background catches my eye, drawing my attention to the wolf; who seems to have decided to hobble back in my direction.

Think she ran off looking for Cooper.. Wonder how she'll react to finding him wrapped around me and yelling to grab the attention of literally everyone else.

...

...

Oh, hey..

That reminds me of a question I meant to ask Coop forever ago, about what he planned to do to Rox if..

Guess it's still gonna take her a few moments to wobble back over here.. Might as well get it out of the way before I forget again.

...

"Coop?"

"Ayup?"

"Hey. Had a question about what you planned to do to Roxanne a few months ago."

"I can't remember what I was eatin' ten minutes ago."

"..You're confident you were eating, though?"

"Probly'."

Mkay.

"Anyway.. It was back when Rox accidentally scratched me, if you remember that." I recall, lifting an arm to tap on the small scar that still marks the cheek she cut.

"Uhhhhhh-huh?"

"..Do you remember?"

"Ayup."

"..Do you actually remember?"

"Ayup."

"Do you?"

"Nyope."

Mm.

"There was a whole thing where they day-crew was wondering about if she would get re-programmed, or something."

"..Oh-Mmmmmm! I do remember, actually! Arin was on my case 'bout that one too."

"Where is he, out of curiosity?"

"Uhmmbbuh.. Oh- There."

Sure enough, at the end of Coop's outstretched arm and standing by a wall is a disheveled, unmotivated Arin.

I'm not actually sure whether or not 'unmotivated' is the word I should use.. His expression's a bit obscure from this distance, but at least he looks considerably less frustrated than before.

...

Maybe it'd be a good idea to talk to him at some point.. It still doesn't look like he's enjoying the current state of affairs anymore than he was before, just.. Emotionally headed in a new direction..

"Oh.."

"Anyway, yeahp. I remember. Fer' real. That was a looong time ago.."

"It's been the better part of a year."

"Aw jeez, maybe not so long then."

It certainly feels like an eternity ago.

"I guess I was just wondering what your plan was with that. Didn't think much of it at the time, but 'reprogramming' any of these bots would've been no different than.. I dunno, the human equivalent erasing someone entirely and putting someone new in their body.."

"Myep. Arin told me to try a scare tactic instead of an actual repercussion. Told me it'd be more effective that way."

"I figured it was something like that. Did he tell you to threaten with reprogramming?"

"Nyope. Made that one up m'self."

"Mm.. Well, how many people did you think knew that the animatronics were real people at the time? A lot of the day-crew were relatively new, and even the older ones rarely interacted with the gang."

"Not many, I reckon. Why?"

"What did you plan to do if the day crew had agreed to go along with the reprogramming..?"

Cooper stares blankly ahead, bringing his pointing arm up to rub his chin.

"Mmbuh.. Woulda done my best, I guess..? Maybe I'd try given whoever'd be programmin' her the programming for the other gang members, n' have 'em mix 'n match personalities.."

..What?

"..What do you mean?"

"I mean like.. I 'unno, it probably woulda ended up just breakin' her, but maybe just dabbling a little bit of Freddy's polite-ness woulda done the trick? Probly' didn't need to redo her whole code or whatever, just change a couple things to be more like Fred? Think that woulda worked?"

...

"You would've had Roxy reprogrammed?"

"Well I woulda done my best, for how much that's worth.. Why? Think it'dve been a bad idea?" Cooper asks with an interested side-glance, like we're two lifelong pals having a friendly discussion.

..

Are.. Wh-?

"That-... Stopping and rerunning the programming resets all the stored data, so that new data can be stored when the program runs again. Arin himself told me that. If you'd even try and shut her down to 'start' reprogramming, every single memory and experience she's ever had would've been erased."

"I think he told me that too, yeah.. Think I shoulda tried something else?"

...

"Cooper, she's real. Thinks and talks the same way we do."

"Well yeah- I know. I mean, I think so anyway.. Why?"

...

Surely. Surely there's a miscommunication between us that I'm failing to catch.

"What part of Roxy do you think's different than us?"

"Uhhhm.. I dunno, what?" He responds earnestly, as if I already had a 'correct' answer in mind.

"Coop..?"

"Maybe a couple metal bits instead 'a bones, but not much more than that.. Fur?"

"So you agree that Roxy and us are just as alive and real as each other?"

"Oh- Well yeah, of course..! Y'd have to be dang-near blind to miss it."

...

"..What?"

"I didn' say anythin'."

"I-, Cooper, what?"

"I didn' say anything! Sorry, am I mumbling?"

"The Roxanne that all of the gang's made memories with would cease to exist, Coop. She'd die, and a mockery would take her place."

"Well.. I guess so..? Sounds grim if you put it like that." he responds with a small chuckle.

"But that's what would happen, right? I'm not misunderstanding something? You would've called her in and killed her?"

"Aw- it's not like that though, ain't it? It's like hittin' factory reset on somebody! No harm done!"

Wh-? That's harm! That's harm being done!

"Would you 'factory reset' Trudge if something like this happened to him?"

"No! 'Course not-, he's got a life to live! People that care 'n all that!"

We just talked about how Roxy had the same things..!

"That's not-... So-, you would've tried reprogramming her without knowing how to? Like, you would've had someone blindly make their shots in her programming in hopes to change her, when you knew William was the only one who could comprehend any of it?"

"Well-..! I mean, buh.. What else would I have done? People wanted her reprogrammed, y'know? So I couldn't just say 'we dunno how' and ignore their answer to the choice I made 'em make. That'd be pretty damn mean on my part, right? I don' wanna be mean if I can help it.." Coop mumbles like a child.

"Killing Roxanne isn't mean..?!"

"Uhhhbb.. Is it? Sorry, maybe I've been thinkin' about this the wrong way; would it have been mean? Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings-, you can tell me if it's mean or not. Fer' real."

..Wh-..

..He means it.. He's expecting an honest answer.. Cooper's actually asking me, for real, whether or not erasing Roxanne from existence would be considered rude..

"Cooper..?!"

"Whut?"

"..What if they failed to get her running again? I mean-, what would you do if the programming got jumbled irreversibly? That's a real risk you would've taken..!"

"That'd be a pretty big bummer, I guess.. Maybe you're right. It's probly' good it didn't come down to all that then.. Lord knows I woulda' done a poor job of fixin' it.."

"What does that mean..?!"

"Well.. I 'unno what you expect from me if I wasn't able to fix it. If I couldn't fix it, I couldn't fix it. What else could I have done from there? Tried to fix it better?"

"So you'd just leave her? Rox'd just be done? Gone forever?"

"Well probably.. Maybe I coulda deleted all the programming and pasted William's back in if all else failed, but it's possible that wouldn't work either.."

"Wh-.. You'd at least be down a forth gang member, wouldn't you..!?"

"Three woulda done for what I'm tryna do, I think.." Cooper takes a step to the side, scratching the top of his head and looking at the van in front of us. "Hell one probly' woulda been enough.."

"Would've been enough for what..? What are you trying to do..?"

"Well- I guess I already have done it.." He mutters, apparently working through this thought process out loud. "Just had ta' get the feel right, y'know? Make it somethin' that makes me to wanna come back. Any animatronic roamin' around probly' woulda done it."

"..Cooper, what in the world are you talking about?"

"Y'know..!" Cooper expresses with little confidence, retreating back into his mind when he realizes that I do not, in fact, 'know'. "Uhhm..It's.. It's Kinda hard t'put into words.."

"..Wh...?" Is all I'm able to mutter in response. Where do I even begin?

"Sorry, I'm thinkin'..! Let an old man poke at his brain a sec'.."

"...You-..."

...

"..You, uh.. Feelin' alright?" Cooper asks, with a jarring but genuine concern towards my struggle to respond properly. "..Like, you need somethin'?"

"..I'm.."

...

"..Hey- you're lookin' a bit beat already, kid.." Bet that means I look as baffled as I feel. "Tell you what, just say the word and we'll push this to tomorrow, arright..?"

"..No, we can still.. What do you mean, you-..?"

...

"Uhm... Mike, fer real, you arright? We can do this tomorrow. No reason we gotta get this done tonight, right? Always tomorrow, or next week, or whenever you're feelin' up to it.."

"..."

...

Cooper reaches out for my shoulder again.

"I'm, uh.. Startin' to think you oughta go home, kid.. Look-, y'feelin' well enough to drive? 'd be my pleasure to give ya' a ride if ya' think you need-"

"No. I was just lost in thought for a second. What do you mean 'feels right'? How do the animatronics help with that?"

That sentence was incredibly artificial, but it was one I managed to force out, so we'll have to take it.

Cooper evidently notices how forced the sentence was with cocked eyebrows, but recedes to answer the question the best he can.

"Mmwell.. You do it too, y'know? Like how just havin' a nightguard makes this place feel more like it should?"

"What's 'like it should'? What should this place feel like? How does having a night-guard and only one animatronic as opposed to the many we have now contribute to this feeling?"

Because I'm starting to think the 'feeling' he's referring too isn't 'a fun-filled pizzeria-complex meant for kids and grownups alike'..

He's said this before, too. Back when he first showed me the article written about the police's investigation. He said I, a night-guard, make this place feel more 'authentic'. Night-guards aren't supposed to contribute to any atmosphere the guests are supposed to feel, so what the hell does he mean when he says 'authentic'..?!

He also just said that this 'atmosphere' he's trying to create is to satisfy himself. That shouldn't be true at all, right..? It's supposed to appeal to kids so that Cooper could reap the rewards of creating that kid-friendly atmosphere..!

..So what is he talking about?!

Just as Cooper opens his mouth to provide another impossibly unhelpful answer, Roxanne finally manages to stumble back to my side.

"Can we do the thing? Before it gets later than it needs to be?"

I glance in her direction, but fail to conjure a response with all the noise in my head. Unfortunately, Coop finds it within himself to answer for me.

"Oh- Yeahp!" He announces with a clap. "Good plan, plenty to do tonight. Needa see if Mikey thinks anything of what we got."

"Is there a lot for Mikey to look through?"

"Nope. Not in quantity, 'nyway.. Hooked a couple big boys though, check out 'em marbles.." Cooper lowers to a mutter as he hops over a few trinkets scattered on the ground to reach the side of the van.

Hold on, hold on, slow down...!

...

I.. Need to think, or something, for a second.. That was too much..

What does that mean..? What am I supposed to do with what I just learned..?!

I don't get it. At all. It's like everything Cooper just told me lined up to contradict everything I know.

...

Everything about Cooper is almost overwhelmingly sympathetic.. That's just the Cooper I know, and he demonstrates it time and time again.. He frequently checks up on every employee. Despite his laziness, Coop Immediately takes any favor they have and prioritizes it above anything else, regardless of how inconvenient that favor is, like when I hit that deer in the middle of the night and he went from asleep to by my side in the middle of nowhere in a matter of minutes.. He goes to great lengths to make sure he knows everyone working under him, like with that email survey he sent everyone, and he very effectively keeps tabs on people so that he's there the very instant he thinks they need help.. He never forces anyone to do anything, even for 'work' related tasks like putting up or tearing down decorations; and compensates everyone who helped with absurd pay and hearty feasts over the smallest of tasks. He never declines a request for vacation, sick days, or even just a day off, no matter how short the notice. He'll bend the rules as far as it takes for an employee to be happy, like with Cooper letting Trudge take Chica out of the Pizzaplex whenever he pleases. He takes the blame for everything, he takes the backlash for everything, he takes responsibility for everything, and he does it all with a contagious, joyful, unwavering spark in his eye that no one can resist.

Cooper cares, so, much, about the people working for him. He thinks of everyone as an equal, and never abuses his authority, even when it would make sense to do so. He spares no expense, and I truly believe he would die for any one of his employees if he had the choice.

..So why?!

Coop just told me he thinks of the animatronics as real, living beings..! No different than the employees he puts so much effort into caring for..! But he just-..

Why doesn't he care..?

I've seen this hinted at more than once.. Cooper expressed great concern over Trudge making it back unharmed when he and Chica leave the Pizzaplex, but Coop didn't say anything about Chica. Cooper immediately rushed to my side after I informed him of the incident with the tree chomper, and he knew Roxanne had experienced potentially traumatic events, such as getting caked in my blood and taking my severed arm around with her while she looked at me, unsure about whether or not I had died, but he did nothing more than treat me with extreme care and kindness before leaving without as much as a second thought about how this might've effected the animatronics.. Arin had to be the one to give the gang portable light sources over the holidays, because Cooper decided to shut down electricity to every part in the building, including the gang's living quarters.. Where they live.

And now he just-.. Cooper basically just explained to me that he would've had no issue with killing Roxanne, should the day crew have felt like it..! In fact, the only reason he started to second guess himself in the middle of our conversation was because he thought that reprogramming Rox would've negatively effected me in some way..!

I just-

I don't get it. I don't even have a theory or two, like I usually do when I say 'I don't get it'.

I don't get it.

I have no idea why Cooper thinks of the animatronics the way he does..

It's not even like he treats them poorly.. He's as kind as ever whenever a part of the gang comes up to speak with him, and it really doesn't seem like he's just forcing himself to be nice.. It really does sound like he cares about them just as much as anyone else when in conversation.. Hell he even talks about them kindly. Coop's never insulted them, or even expressed a slight amount of distaste or indifference when one of the animatronics is the topic of the conversation.

It doesn't make any sense.. It doesn't make any sense, and it's killing me.

...

Back then, when the day-crew were debating whether or not to reprogram Roxy, they chose to give me the deciding vote.

I really thought Cooper was just doing some weird scare-antic back when Arin asked whether or not I wanted to reprogram Rox. Her and I weren't on the best of terms back then, so part of me honestly wanted to vote yes because I was so sure they wouldn't go as far as to actually reprogram her. Thought maybe by saying yes, they'll just give her more of a scare than if I said no, and maybe it'll act as a stronger motivation for the two of us to interact less, which was appealing at the time.

Jesus.. I held her life in my hands.

I held Roxanne's life in my hands, and I made the decision of what to do with it as casually as I make the decision what to eat for dinner every night.

This wolf, right here.

This arrogant, whiny, and condescending wolf.

The one I see every day.. The one I buy food for, watch movies with, banter with, call dumbass names, and borderline snuggle with.. The one I lied too, broke promises with, repaired my relationship with, forged even more promises with, swore to become better for.. Hell, as of late, I've started depending on her as a lifeline whenever I'm at my lowest point of my overthinking fits.

All I had to do was feel a whim, and I would have sent her off to get executed. It's not even like it was a surprise either. Roxanne knew. I'd always found it peculiar how I still haven't heard Roxanne have a breakdown as bad the one I heard her having that day, right before Arin showed up. Of course she was losing it. Did I really have no idea what I could've sent her to go through?

Death. Even worse, the dread and despair of knowing it's inevitable.

Knowing y-..

...

Knowing she'd soon be standing before someone who wants to take everything's she's ever been, and ever will be, despite the blood sweat and tears she went through to create a better future for herself.

Damn it, I know that.. I know what that is..

How it feels to know that the seemingly infinite future of endless possibilities that awaited you has been replaced with one or two short moments, before everything you've known to bring you happiness will be out of reach, permenantly.

It's hell.

I vividly remember one of my very last thoughts alive being how much I desperately, desperately wished I could experience the feeling of groggily waking up in the morning, on a debatably comfortable bed, with beams of orange creeping through my curtains and illuminating my unlit room with a fiery orange; groggily mumbling how I wished I didn't have school that day.

It wasn't a significant memory, or even an objectively pleasant one. It's something I experienced every day for a good portion of my life, but I so desperately wanted to feel it one last time; even though I was aware that if I could, I'd only want to feel it once again after that.

That's the feeling I was a hair away from forcing Roxy to experience. Hell she might've already been feeling it. It only gets worse though.

Knowing there's more you need to do with your life, no matter the cost, but being forced to realize that it isn't your choice anymore.

Knowing exactly who's responsible for the situation you're in, and having to acknowledge there's nothing you can to about them anymore.

Kn-..

...

Knowing that someone else will continue existing using the body you were taken from.

Knowing that they won't even let d-|-eath be the end of you, that your name will unwillingly be carried on to be sullied by another.

Knowi-|-|-ng that after you're gone, a crude m-|-|-|-ockery will take the body you've worked -|-|-|-so hard to shape and soil everything you'-|-|-|-ve been known to stand for.

Someo-|-ne's taking -|-| your bod-|-y and |-| sc-|-oo-|-p

..-|-|-..|-|-...-|.-|-|-

|-|-th-e-y-|-d-|-|on't belon-|-| to yo-|-|u

It-|- d-oes'n-|-|-t be-|-lon-g -|-to y-|-|-ou-|-!

-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-

-.-_- -

"Blegh..-"

-|H-|-Oly shit..!

"-The posters got his ugly-ass mug spot on.."

Rox's voice hits me hard, I physically have to take a step back to maintain balance.

Immediately becoming self-aware of the predicament I'm in, my head snaps towards the wolf standing next to me, who's thankfully too invested in whatever's happening around the van to notice my episode.

..Like clockwork the purple starts to fade. Not instantly, but more than enough to know I'm not in danger anymore.

...

Ooohhh my god..

Holy-.. It's okay, we're all good.. Everything's good..

...

Whoops..

...

That was really way too close that time.

..I can't brush this one off like it's nothing, if I'd let that one happen, this way of life I've been living would've ended in an instant.

That one wasn't a funny ha-ha 'look how pathetic I am' episode. I was on the very, very edge of losing it. As demonstrated on more than one occasion, when I lose it, I throw everything away and push my body way beyond it's limits to destroy whatever the 'problem' is.

I'm...

...

I'm.. not gonna sugarcoat it.

If I had lost it there, I could have killed Cooper.

I would have tried, at least.. Didn't even realize what I was doing until Rox snapped me back to reality, I was staring right at him. I've never so fixated on something in my entire life.

As much as I want to say I'm 'okay' now, I'm not entirely sure..

This isn't like the other times where the 'problem' was an easily crush-able glass jar or machine.. The problem's still here, like 20 meters away..

Of course I'm not about to go ape shit the moment I forget about Roxy-pox, but it's making it reeeeally difficult to calm all the way down.. My breathing has slowed to a normal pace, but is still heavy; and my heart rate has reduced, but each beat still shakes my entire chest.

...

...

"You alright down there, purple man?"

"I'm fine.." I answer breathily.

"Uh-huh. Not just saying that?" Roxy repeats, cocking a brow.

"..Maybe.. I'll be fine in a second though." I respond, sounding zero percent better.

Obviously not the answer she was expecting, part of her body rotates towards me.

"What?"

"Just 'being honest'.." I mutter sarcastically, closing my eyes in hopes to clear my head.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Freaking out over nothing again. Or I was freaking out. In the 'chilling the hell out' phase at the moment."

"Why? What happened?" Roxy continues, uncrossing her arms.

"If I say, it'll make it worse."

"Do you need to tell someone?"

"No." I respond, slowly succeeding in catching my breath and glancing up at the wolf. "You're my go-to 'teller' anyway. If I need to tell somebody something, you're gonna be that someone, 100% of the time. You know this."

"Mike- If this keeps happening, and you keep not-telling, is this 'thing' you keep 'not-telling' about gonna get worse?"

That's a shockingly well thought-out question for how sleepy she is..

"No, it isn't just one thing. Something new every time."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"It's supposed to answer your question."

"Fine. Are you okay yet?"

I wait to respond until I'm able to manage a hefty sigh.

"Yeah, sorry."

"Anything else you wanna say to blue-ball me further?"

"Yeah, it was partially about you."

I said that with an idiotic chuckle, but soon start to regret wording it the way I did.

...

"..What does that mean? I did it this time..?"

"No, you didn't do anything. Your name was just.. In there somewhere.."

"Mike."

"Don't worry about it, it was supposed to be funny."

...

...

"Um.."

"Rox."

"I don't know- Should I be doing something differently..?"

"Yes, 'not worrying about it' ."

...

...

"Ugh.. Look- Did I do something?"

"Roxanne wolf."

...

...

"..You know I'm just fucking with you most of the time, right-?"

"Holy sh-, Rox."

"Fine, jeez.."

I gently grab her shirt collar before she's able to turn around all the way.

"You didn't do anything, or cause me to overthink in any way. I swear, there's nothing you could have done differently." I finish with a cheeky snout boop. "So chill, wolf."

"Stop touching my nose."

"No."

I let go, and Rox immediately bats my booping hand away.

"You shouldn't be having those.."

"What? The little episodes?"

"They happen too much. You don't seem like someone who should be 'freaking out' randomly.."

"They don't happen often. Maybe once a month, and it's not like anything happens." I rebuke, rubbing my nose. "Just kinda stand there like an idiot for twenty seconds before continuing on with my day."

"Those are only the one's I see, though. Right?"

Once again, a reasonable argument.

"I don't know how you do it, but you've been around to catch just about all of them. It'd be pretty nice if I could have one with no one around, 'cause nobody would ever friggen' need to know otherwise..." I grumble.

"No-, no."

Following her random bark of disapproval, Rox's hand suddenly snags the front of my collar, despite not having done anything to suggest I was trying to move away.

"Ow, wh-..?"

"No. Make me another promise, right now: You tell me every time this happens, whether or not I see it."

"What? Why?"

"Because this counts as 'hiding' what's wrong with you. If something's wrong, you tell me. I don't care if it's physical or not, don't pretend nothing happened when something did."

"That's.." I huff, grabbing the arm Rox's holding onto me with. "Nothing's wrong with me, I dunno about that one."

"There's nothing to argue about."

"But there isn't something wrongwith me when I overthink like that. Nothing happens; I just stand there a second and keep walking."

"I don't care."

"I'm zero percent worse-off than I was before; there's no reason to tell anyone. The only thing telling you would do is worry you when there's literally nothing to be worried about."

"That's fine. Tell me anyway."

"No- what? Tell you so I can worry you, and nothing else?"

"Yes."

"That's dumb. Why would I worry you? For fun?"

"I want to worry about you, dipshit. That's all I'm asking you for."

"Worrying you for no reason really doesn't seem like something I should be doing. The only thing I'd be achieving is making you worse for, uh.. for..."

"Is it so much to ask you just listen to me?"

"..I just didn't-, um.."

"Just say 'okay'. Everything else is unnecessary."

"..."

...

...

"Still gonn-?"

"O..Okay.."

Despite it literally being the one thing she was asking for, Rox clearly didn't expect me to succumb to her side of the pointless banter so easily.

"..'Okay'?"

"I'll, uhm.. Tell you.." I mutter, lowering my gaze a bit and scratching the back of my head.

"Hell'd your sarcasm go?"

...

...

'I want to worry about you, dipshit.'

Sorry, I dunno.. Think that part hit a little hard. It didn't even fully sink in at first.

...

I hadn't even thought of that as a feasible concept at first.. 'Worrying' feels bad, so of course I'm gonna want to avoid making my friends feel that way. It sounds idiotically simple..: Avoid the bad emotion. Why would you ever want to feel a bad emotion regarding someone close to you?

Of course, during my rebuttal of telling Roxy how stupid that idea was, I tried conjuring a scenario where I could feel the way she says she wants to feel, despite being confident it was impossible. Tried reversing the roles in my head and trying to understand how she could feel this way. Would I 'want' to worry about her for some reason?

...

..Of course I want to worry about her.. If knowing Roxanne was in trouble meant worrying myself, I'd take that trade in a heartbeat. Not because I'd be 'williing to put up with' the downside of worrying about her for the sake of understanding how she was in trouble, but because in that scenario, 'worried' is the one emotion I'd want to feel. It's like.. 'Worry' isn't just a side effect of wanting the best for someone, it's a state of being that people actively choose to partake in for the sake of preserving what's close to them.

Ugh, I'm struggling to put it into words again.. Here's a better example:

Imagine you're relaxing on your bed at home, when suddenly you're informed that there's something seriously wrong with the one person you care about more than anyone else; whether it's a parent, a lifelong pal, a relative, or even just.. A friend. Someone you wish the best for, and love to be around.

You'd worry. You'd feel that notorious mixture of fear, apprehension, dread, concern, and whatever else.

So really think about it for a second.. It's a bad feeling; an objectively horrible feeling that can eat you from the inside out. It can make you feel hollow, create a pit in your stomach, maybe even make you sweat and deteriorate your mental state.

..But would you choose to get rid of it?

If you had the chance to just press a button, and make that horrible feeling go away, would you?

It doesn't solve your friend's problem, they're still in trouble, but you wouldn't feel negative emotion towards that fact anymore. It wouldn't eat at you, or make you feel hollow, or create a pit in your stomach.

Really think about it for a second. Hell, if you're willing, close your eyes and imagine the scenario to the best of your ability.. Your friend is in trouble, and you can choose to make every unpleasant emotion you feel towards your friend being in trouble vanish in an instant. Would you?

I mean, why wouldn't you, right? The only thing that would change is that you don't feel that pit in your heart anymore. You'd make the 'bad thing' go away, and nothing else. So what reason do you have not to press that button and be at peace again?

Would you press it?

...

...

Of course you wouldn't..

I don't know how well I was able to simulate the experience with words alone, but I truly believe that not a single person on the planet would press that button if the heat of the moment.

Worry isn't just a 'bad feeling' you get when something bad happens, it's a driving force. Everyone would understand that if they pressed that button, the worry would disappear, but the 'driving force' for wanting to make sure your friend was okay would vanish too; they'd feel no compulsion to go find that friend and help them in any way they can.

Of course no one wants that. They'd want to jump out of bed, run out of their house, and sprint to the last place they knew their friend to be.

If I knew Rox was in trouble, I'd stop at nothing to get there and do what I can, exclusively because I'd be worried about her.

So of course I'd want to be worried, like Rox said.. Because if I wasn't, I wouldn't be driven to go out and protect what I want to keep around.

I want to keep Roxy around. Therefor I want to be worried about her, because that'd increase my chances of keeping her.

It's such a damn lengthy explanation just to cover a simple feeling everyone feels, multiple times, every day.. I could just summarize it into something like "I love having my dog. If he gets lost, I want to feel worried, because that way I'd try to find him, and when I do, I can continue to 'love having my dog'." But dumbing it down like that doesn't capture the emotion I'm trying to portray..

Like the emotion I felt when Rox said she wanted to worry about me.

It's stupid, I know, but it caught me by surprise.. I'm very familiar with the feeling; obviously familiar enough to give an essay's worth of sub-par descriptions about it.

It's a feeling I experience frequently; towards Rox, at that..

I'm, um-.. This is gonna sound dumb, but it's for the sake of the argument..:

..I really enjoy her. I really enjoy eating, chilling, messing around with, talking with, and opening up to from time-to-time.. So, it's only natural I feel a strong desire to want to 'keep' her, like I was saying before..

I gladly accept any worry that I feel towards Rox, because I'm willing to do anything to increase my chances of keeping her around, so we can keep eating, chilling, and doing everything else I enjoy..

So of course I know the feeling. It's nothing new. I want to worry about her.

...

But I didn't say that to her, she said that to me.

...

It seems so obvious that she would feel the same after all we've been through, but I guess there was a blockade somewhere in my mind that prevented me from fully registering that as a possibility.

I'm just..

...

I've always thought of myself as nothing following my father's death.. I fulfilled my purpose, so now I'm just a pointless piece of purple garbage, floating aimlessly through time until one day I just fall over and die.

I'm.. Not 'friend' material.. I'm a corpse, who tortured and tormented the only family member who didn't look at me like dirt until they died crying and flailing in my arms. I shouldn't exist, and under no circumstance deserve to. Hell I'm the last person to deserve a second chance, but I was the only one who was chosen to get one.. Instead of the many children, who were all denied a meaningful life by my father, who's actions I alone set into motion..

...

They were denied their first chance at life, and as if to spit in their faces, the one man who was responsible for triggering every single tragedy was given a second. It's like I stole all their lives to use them for myself, then forced them all to watch me find happiness and comfort here in a grand monument to the company that stole their lives away from them.

I'm scum, and the only reason they'll be denied the pleasure of dragging me down into hell when my time comes is because they'll be too busy feasting in heaven.

I don't deserve anything. In fact, I deserve nothing less than to experience the hell I conjured here on earth. No part of me is worthy of even the slightest consideration to anybody.

...

But she..

..She does..

Roxy just said she wants to worry about me, like how I do with her..

She worries. She just told me she's happy to worry about me, because if she does, she'll be able to 'keep' me..

I worry about her because she's important to me, so if she worries about me.. Does that really mean she feels the same way I do during those moments I'm worried about her?

Rox thinks I'm something to fight for.. Someone she's willing to go incredible lengths to protect, because that's the way I feel about her when I'm worried..

...

She likes eating, chilling, messing around with, talking with, and opening up to me.

Dammit, look-. I know this is so damn far from 'new' information, but it just-, pshhhh..

It just feels so impossible..

Of course, there's no reason I can't feel the way I do about her. Roxy's never done anything wrong. She's not a murderer, or purple, or a walking abomination, who steals the lives of children due to her ignorance..

..I am..

So it-.. The idea someone actually cares about me feels inherently 'incorrect'..

You can't possible think of me like a friend, or someone worth protecting, or.. Anything. Not with what I am and what I've done..

...

She meant it though. Roxy said she's happy to worry about me, and meant it.

..I don't know if it's because there was a blockade somewhere in my mind deeming it impossible, or because the body's natural reaction to being told something like that, but, uh..

...

It, um.. Felt really good..

...

I'm really not sure why this is effecting me now of all times.. The two of us have been looking out for each other forever now; it's not like I didn't already know the stuff I'm standing here 'realizing'..

I dunno.. Maybe it's just because it was verbal confirmation this time; even though it was indirect..

...

Wow dude. Between her and Coop, these last four minutes have been an emotional roller coaster.

"-the fuck is wrong with you?"

Oh.

Maybe I need to spend a few minutes outside of my friggin' head and talk to people for more than twelve seconds at a time.

"..Sorry.."

"What happened this time? Did it happen again?" Roxy impatiently chides, though holds back just enough in case my answer to that question is 'yes'.

"What? Oh-, like another freak-out? No, all good."

"Really starting to creep me out, purple boy. What just happened?"

"A different kind of episode. Lots of emotions today, apparently."

"There are different kinds of freak-outs?"

"No, it wasn't anything like that. You just said something and I got.. lost in thought.."

"Frickin'.." Roxy grumbles, but retreats a bit upon hearing that she was involved in this episode too. "I freaked you out?"

"No-, I'm fine, no one freaked out. Nothing bad happened."

"I'm about to freak out if you don't quit having medical emergencies every ten minutes."

"I don't know what to tell you. Nothing happened, I just got lost in thought."

"In the middle of our damn conversation?"

"Well.. Yeah..."

"What were you 'thinking' about that was more important than me speaking to you right that very moment?"

"You said you wanted to worry about me."

"Yeah. And you said 'that makes no sense', then completely fuckin' zonked out on me."

"I was thinking about that, actually... Uhm.. I changed my mind. It does make sense.."

"I know it makes sense. That's why I said it."

"Mm.. Sorry.. You were right." I continue as casually as I can, turning away and scratching the back of my head.

"I'm always right, you just keep saying shit.."

" 'Always' might be a little generous."

"Mike."

"That's usually how things go though, yeah.."

"..."

...

...

I take the unexpected bit of silence I've earned as a sign to keep talking.

"Hey, thought about something while I was standing there like a zombie."

Even saying it out loud was more than enough to remind me that the situation we're in isn't the best time for a heart-to-heart, so despite trying to stay meaningful, I keep my dialect as informal as I can.

"This is only half-related to what we're talking about, but you're right. Pretty sure we've argued about everything under the sun at this point, whether we were just messing around or were, like, actually upset with each other.. I argue back every time; which is fair, 'cause that's how arguments work and whatever, but uh.."

Despite already being turned away, I can't help but turn just a little more and reach up to scratch my already well-scratched head.

"..But yeah. You're usually right, like you said.. I mean-, I don't just say things. When I argue something, I really mean what I say, because it's the conclusion I've reached with the information I had at the time.. But I know it doesn't really matter how right I 'thought' I was when you end up being actually being, y'know. Objectively right.. But still, it's not like I've only ever been 'misinformed' in the past.. Back when you got mad I told Chica stuff but hid it from you, I wasn't 'lacking the information' that made you right, I was just an idiot. Same with Monty getting mad at you, and when I told everyone but you my job history, and uh.. All the times like that.."

The 'casual' plan didn't work out as exceedingly well as I had hoped, but that's partially a result of changing what I want to talk about first every two seconds, and making what I'm trying to say as difficult to follow as humanly possible.

"I know we've talked about this before, and it's stupid to bring it back up again.. It was just, uh.. When you said you wanted to worry about me, it got me thinking about a couple things. Sorry if this is completely random, or plain stupid, but uh.."

Come on Mike. I really believe you can make a coherent thought if you try.

"..I Just, uh.. Wanted to say that I know how dumb and difficult to deal with I've been in the past. And how I can already promise you that I'm gonna be just as stupid and annoying in the future. But um.."

I'm not incredibly qualified to give heart-felt speeches, I've discovered. This one's closer to a monologues at this point anyway.

"..I dunno.. 'Thanks for dealing with my bullshit', is all I'm trying to say. I'm not oblivious to how friggen' ridiculous I can be. Not many people can deal with the constant flow of frustration I pummel them with, then still somehow manage to get up and able to say that they, um.. Say that they're still willing to care about me.. I was more than prepared to spend the rest of my life never having as much as a 'meaningful acquaintance' ever again. Hell, I was actually trying to avoid making any kind of real bond with someone for as long as I live.. You can see how well that turned out... Anyway, all I'm trying to say is I'm glad I got over that part of myself, and I'm glad that bond I made, some-fuggin'-how, ended up being with you."

...

...

"Look- I'm basically asking you to keep dealing with my bullshit, 'cause I like it when you do." I finish with a shrug, deciding to top off my wildly incoherent and unnecessary lament with a joke.

...

"Sorry if I made it weird. Think I got a little too sentimental for my own good-"

"Do-.. Mike? What do I do?"

I've been struggling to figure out what Roxy's been thinking about this whole deal, since she's turned forward toward the van in a manner that keeps her eyes just out of my line of sight.

Her voice didn't clear much up. It was shockingly stolid, like we're having a more 'serious' conversation.

"..Well, whatever you've been doing's worked pretty well, so.. Rox?"

"..Look, I don't know what to tell you.. Do you have any idea how fucking good it feels when you say shit like this?"

Her tone did not match what you'd expect from the content of her sentence..

"I'm.. What?"

"I love it, okay? I do have to try sometimes when dealing with you, but I wouldn't give it up for anything. 'Dealing with your bullshit' is something I don't mind doing, and the payoff of getting moments like this is fucking euphoric, Mike. I want literally nothing more than to keep dealing with you."

Is.. Is she praising me..?

The words are overwhelmingly flattering, but she's talking like..I don't know.. I'm almost positive there's a catch in there somewhere we haven't gotten to yet..

"O..Okay?"

...

"Rox, are you-?"

"I don't think I can, though. Mike, I've-.."

"..Huh?"

"If I could, I'd sit down with you and deal with all your bullshit. I want nothing more than to be there to deal with you, forever."

"..?"

...

"I don't know- what else is there, Mike? What else am I supposed to know how to do?"

"..What do you mean?"

"There's more of you to 'help'. I can tell just by looking at you-, there's more to do, more 'bullshit' I need to deal with, and I would jump at the first fuckin' opportunity to do so. Like when you zone out for a few seconds and look like you're either ready to die or kill somebody."

"..."

...

"Look- I don't want to be mean, not after how amazing you just made me feel, but what am I supposed to do? I can't-, fricken'..."

..I think I get it.. Pretty sure she doesn't even need to say it at this point..

...

"You want to keep dealing with my bullshit, but you don't know how, because I won't tell-"

"Because you won't tell me what the bullshit is..!" Roxy articulates with as much perceivable emotion as she's shown me the whole time we've been talking about this.

She crosses her arms in the process, but continues to face forward. Intentionally keeping her face out of my line of sight.

"..."

"I want to, Mike. I mean it, so bad. I want to keep having these talks like this; where all I only really want to know if what I've been doing has been helping at all, and you respond by pulling the most genuine and randomly well thought-out speech out of your ass and make me feel like a fucking god."

My speech was genuine, but it was as far from 'well thought-out' as a speech possibly could be. It took me like seven whole incoherent sentences to finally mutter out something worthwhile.

"..."

"Y'know what-, What do I do from here? You don't even have to tell me what's bothering you, just tell me how to fix it, and I swear to god, I'll do it starting right fucking now until you don't have that problem anymore."

...

"..Telling you what to do would be no better than telling you what the problem is.." I mutter, moreso to myself than to her.

"Please, Mike. What do I do? How could I possibly fucking help without knowing what your issue is?"

...

"You couldn't.. If I want you to help, I'd need to tell you at least a little bit.."

"What, then? What happens? What are we supposed to do?" Roxy repeats, a hint of desperation bleeding into her voice.

"I'm.."

"I want to keep helping you, you want me to keep helping you, but you won't tell me what the problem is. Fuckin-', what remains? What option is there?"

...

...

...

...

...

"I'll tell you."

...

...

"What?"

Finally, Roxanne turns her body around to look at me. This time I'm the one avoiding eye-contact however, since I'm too busy staring at the floor and fighting with myself.

...

"I'm.. I need to tell you something if I want it to work, so uh.. I'll tell you.. I don't know how much I'll say, but I'm.. I'm making a promise, right now, so I can't go back on it later.. I'm going to tell you something that I didn't think I'd tell anybody. At least one thing.."

...

There's a struggle that's taking place in Rox's head. One that seems like it's challenging everything she just claimed she wanted..

...

"..Mike, you don't-.. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, alright..? I'm not forcing you to say something, right?"

That wasn't what you were begging of me twelve seconds ago.

"I know. You aren't."

...

"Do.. you think whatever you're gonna tell me is, uh-.. Are you gonna be okay if you say it..? Cause if-"

"No idea. It'll probably feel pretty bad.. I spent my life swearing I wouldn't tell anybody a few things, and I'm going back on that to tell you."

Rox looks a little taken aback that I'm even willing to share that information with her.

...

"Okay, you-.. You don't need to tell if.."

"I do. Already said I promised."

"I was just whining, Mike, like I always do. You know that.. You don't have to-"

"I'm gonna tell you. Not even sure what I'm gonna tell you yet, but I've gotta tell you something, at least.."

"Mike, when? You don't-"

"Tonight. As soon as I get back to your room to chill."

...

Despite voicing her displeasure about my reluctance moments ago, apparently doubling down and deciding to let her in on some things really isn't what she was expecting me to do.

Maybe she thinks she pushed a little too hard..

"I don't.. I don't know if that's what I want anymore, Michael, I'm-.. I didn't think you'd actually decide to, like-.. You said what you were freaking out about earlier would only get worse if you told me, right?"

"Probably."

"No, then I don't-.. I don't wanna hear it anymore. I'm not trying to make it worse."

"I'm hoping it's like a bounce-back thing, y'know? It'll hurt to explain, but once I do we can work on it together."

"Will you get worse..?"

That was incredibly vague, but I'm assuming she means my episodes.

"Potentially.. Probably.. But it'll get better after a while, maybe.."

"You don't sound confident.."

"I'm not. You were 'right' again, though.. I was standing there, politely asking you to do something that I actively prevent you from doing.. Kinda had to make a decision, y'know? 'Would I prefer to keep making progress on myself with your help? Or would I rather keep the stuff you'd need to know to myself?' "

...

This is a ridiculous conversation.

The way we're talking makes me sound like I'm some sort of friggen' elderly, delicate PTSD patient.. I know neither of us actually think of me that way, but it still feels a little demeaning..

...

..You know what's wild?

This isn't a topic we've ever really specifically discussed before, but we're talking about it like it's something we've both been working on for ages..

Rox has had a couple small issues in the past, but we 'talked' about each one. She had to reveal these problems to me in some sort of dramatic discussion; i.e. how she gets torn up about how little reception her raceway gets, and stuff like that.

I only ever knew about that issue because she revealed it to me in a talk we had. Same with how I discovered how Rox has a particular distaste for dishonesty, and how I found out she puts in so, so much effort into promoting herself and her raceway.

I'm aware of how redundant I'm being, but I only figured these things out because she told them to me. At some point, we were alone together and had an informal heart-to-heart conversation about the issues she was having.

...

I never told her I had these little, I dunno.. 'quirks'..

I never told her that sometimes I overthink about stuff and kinda lose myself in my own head from time to time. I never told her that she makes it better, or helps me calm down, or even just provides a much-needed distraction when I'm at the lowest point of my overthinking..

I don't think I've ever just straight up told her about things I struggle with.. I mean-, struggling with something isn't exclusive to me or her; it doesn't matter who you are or what you've done, everyone struggles with something. That's just how life is. So it's not like 'I struggle with something' is a shocking piece of new information. Of course I struggle with something, everyone struggles with something. The dependent variable is who you're willing to admit you're struggling with something to.

..I've never plain told Rox about what I struggle with, but she always figures it out anyway..

Rox wants to help me just like how I want to help her, that's just how a bond works.. So we do help each other. I help her because she tells me what's wrong, and I take that information and do what I can with it.

..I don't give her the same opportunity..

It's in my nature to be obscure and keep information to myself. That's what I've been doing for nearly my entire life; because I've had to. Despite this, Rox still figures out that I have an issue or two sometimes, and she does such a damn good job of making it better.. Sometimes I'll start having a problem, she'll notice, and fix it over the course of a few days, and we'll never so much as mention it..

I guess my little 'freak-outs' are a good example.

I kinda dislike calling them 'freak-outs', because it's not like I'm actually 'freaking out'.. It's just what I casually refer to them as when I overthink sometimes..

Well anyway, they're a good example because, like.. I never walked up to her and said 'Hey. Sometimes I think about something too much and kinda bum myself out, so if you ever see me doing it, just say hi or something, 'cause you do a really good job of snapping me out of it.'

But that's exactly the conclusion Roxanne reached, completely on her own. I never told her anything to even hint at what could help me out in those situations, but she figured it out herself, and doesn't miss a beat when it happens. Even right now, we're both talking about them like it's something we've been trying to work on for ages, but I never once sat down and told her what happens and how to make it better.

That's just one of many examples though.. I don't think I've just walked up to her and told her about a problem I was having, ever. Rox had to figure it out for herself every time, and she's almost infuriatingly good at it..

...

I think we've reached a ceiling though..

There's not much else she can do with what she knows anymore. There's nothing else to be gleaned from my actions and mannerisms. Rox knows how to calm me down during my overthinking fits, but we both want to take it further and prevent them from happening at all.. But we simply can't do that if I don't give her the information she needs.

I'm out of time.. There's nothing more she can do now. I either have to accept that this is as far as I'll come in terms of recovery, or I'm gonna have to double down and tell her some things I never thought I'd tell anybody.

So, it became a choice of which I preferred more.

If it were anyone else, the answer would unquestionably be 'keep the information to myself'.. I've spent the my life following my father's death doing everything in my power to prevent that knowledge from being spilled; that's been my one goal. So as much as it would be nice to have someone else to share the weight of that information with, it's simply too risky to tell anyone. It would be putting that objective I have in jeopardy.

...

But uh, it isn't 'anybody'. It's Rox.

..Despite what's probably for the best, I trust her..

I really think that she understands how important this information must be for me to go such incredible lengths to prevent anyone from knowing about it..

..The thought still scares me a little.. But I'm really starting to think I can tell her a few things, and trust her to keep it between us..

...

...

I'm done with this little thought process, so continuing the line of questioning we had going on feels like the right thing to do.. But now that I think about it, there really isn't much else to say.

..Guess I'll start a new topic, then.

...

Maybe I'll try lightening the mood again.

"I'm unclear on what you're getting so worked up about." I state as casually as I can, sliding my hands in my pockets.

Just as I turn to look up at her, she coincidentally turns her head to look forward again. Not that she's trying to obscure her face anymore, just trying to run our conversation through her head again and come up with an answer.

"..I dunno', it just sounds important.."

"Maybe a little. It's still what you were asking for just a moment ago, right?"

My attempts at lightening the mood proves somewhat effective. Rox crosses her arms in response to my sass, causing her to start talking a little more like how she usually does.

"Whatever.. Can you at least tell me why you're reluctant to tell people whatever you're gonna tell me?"

"I'm sure you'll be able to understand when I tell you later. Getting it in bits and pieces'll probably make you feel more anxious."

"It's freakin' me out a little.. Like, is it something bad? Did you do something bad? You're not gonna take me back there and tell me you've been trafficking kids or something the whole time you've been working here, right?"

Even though I know she's joking, I can't help but feel the need to defend myself from that claim.

"No-, of course I'm not trafficking people."

"Is it something else you've done that's just as bad?"

For a second, I actually do have to pause and make a couple decisions about what I want to tell her...

..Maybe we'll save the whole Bite of 83' thing for another day, so I can comfortably answer 'no' to that question..

"It's nothing about anything I did. Actually it's something about the old pizzeria's, so maybe you'll find it interesting too."

"..You've been stressing out because of something in an old shitty pizza place?"

"Well.. Not exactly?"

"That's dumb."

"It'll make sense later. Probably."

...

"I'm starting to lose faith that this 'information' is as world changing as you think it is."

"I shouldn'tve said 'probably'.."

An amused huff escapes her snout, sending an unexpected wave of relief through my body.

"It's stupid how quickly you alter between wordsmith and 'barely coherent'."

"I'm anything but a wordsmith-, what are you talking about?"

"You can be when you fuckin' try." Rox smirks smugly and lifts one of her crossed arms to delicately place a hand on her chest. "I was so touched by your kind words earlier."

"Are you making fun of-?"

"I'm making fun of you, yes."

"Suppose I deserve it for having the audacity to pay you a compliment every once in a while."

"Mhm."

"..You had an episode there for a while too, though. I'm not gonna let that slide if you don't let me get away with my slip ups."

"It wasn't an episode, you were just annoying."

"There were an awful lot of kind words in there for being 'annoyed' at me."

"You were annoying."

"You even said that you were just 'whining', remember?"

"Yes. Because you were annoying."

" 'Mike, I want literally nothing more than to keep dealing with you'. "

"Is that supposed to sound like me?"

"That was you, that's what you said."

"Was the fuckin' high-pitched voice necessary?"

"No. It was funny."

"That is not what I sound like."

"It's funny."

"You aren't funny."

"I'm worth a chuckle."

Rox turns to look at me again.

"Found your fuckin' sarcasm again, huh?"

"Sorry. Lost it for a sec when I tried being 'nice' to you. Lord knows I won't be trying that again."

"You say the randomest shit and the randomest times. Why can't you wait 'till we're not in the middle of something to dump your emotional baggage on me?"

"It wasn't baggage, all I said was 'thanks for being decent sometimes'."

"Everything you say exhausts me."

"I've never heard someone complain so much at being told a compliment."

"Fuck you."

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Yes."

"Sweet, let's go."

"What?"

"I think you had the computer last, so it's probably still in your room somewhere." I elaborate, shuffling around in my pockets for a second to make sure I have the keys I need to get out of the offloading area.

"..You work here, dipshit. You have work to do."

"I've seen enough of the Pizzaplex. I'll check the rest out on the cameras while the movie's goin' on."

"Are you being serious?"

"..What?"

"Where are we right now?"

"..The truck place? Where trucks unload st-. Oh shit."

Ohhhh..

Wow.. This entire interaction I just had with her happened in the middle of the offloading area? We've just been standing around here while everyone else's been doing their work? The whole crew is still shambling around over by the van, chatting lightly and getting what they're trying to do done.

..I can't believe no one noticed the two of us just standing around having a moment.. I'd completely forgotten I had come here to do stuff..

"Dumbass."

"I forgot I came here to do something.."

"We have to check out those hunks of junk before we leave. That's the reason we came here." Roxy reiterates, extending an arm to point. I follow her finger expecting to find a van at the end of it. "And you still have to tell me whatever you wanted to say before we watch anything. There are two whole things you have to do tonight, try not to get overwhelmed."

"It's a good day if I'm able to get 'one' thing under my belt. I'm-"

Holy-!

Reeling hard enough to devolve into a coughing fit, I transfix onto the several 'artifacts' they claim to have found in the parts & service room.

..It really shouldn'tve been all that startling, since everything there fits exactly into what you would expect to find in a 'parts & service' room.. Still, there are some familiar faces I wasn't prepared to see..

It's the regular ol' costumes, for all the different members of the gang Freddy's Pizzeria.. Or at least all of the pieces that would go together to assemble them.

Of course, there's no endoskeletons for the pieces to fit on, so there's nothing keeping them all together.. But wow, that was an unwelcome blast from the past..

Instinctively, I start to take a few steps closer.

..Man.. Did not expect to turn around in the middle of a conversation and find a Freddy head sitting nonchalantly in the bed of the van..

Speaking of which, think the wolf's staring at me like an idiot from where we were standing. Or staring at me like I'm an idiot..

"..Y'missed your friends, huh?"

"Yep. Started coughing 'cause I missed 'em so much. That's what happened."

"What did happen to you? Freak-out number fourteen?"

"Not every peculiar reaction I have to something is a freak out, wolf."

"That one was closer to an actual freak out than your actual 'freak outs', freak."

"Got some water in my throat."

"Convincing."

"I got distracted by them, so some water slipped down my throat."

"There you go."

As the wolf finishes chastising me, I can hear her footsteps make her way to my side again.

"..Were there seventeen fuckin' Freddy's?" Roxy blusters, only half-kidding.

"No, just the one.. Don't know why they had so many spares of just him.."

"Favoritism."

"Probably."

"That's dumb."

"..You're the one who prances everywhere asking people if you're their favorite."

"I do not."

"It feels like it sometimes."

"It does not."

"Mhm.. They got a couple costumes of everyone else around here too though. Chica was certainly a lot more yellow back then."

"I was a lot more red.."

"You didn't exist back then. That is Foxy."

"I was based off him, you can't say I wasn't."

"Maybe? When I really try to think about how similar you two are, I start to have trouble after getting passed 'long-ish fur' and 'snout'. Even bears have snouts. Not that Freddy has one.."

"How 'bout our names, genius?"

"..What?"

"My name was based off his."

"Roxanne and Foxy? ..Oh- Roxy and Foxy.. I can't believe that's never crossed my mind before.."

"I can't believe it hasn't crossed your mind either, numbnuts."

"Alright fine, your name's are probably similar on purpose.. That still doesn't mean you are him, though."

"Fine, then how 'bout being 'practically the same animal'?"

"Wolves and Foxes were not the same animal. Entirely different living climate, color palette, mannerisms.. Foxes aren't even carnivores."

"What does that mean?"

"..Carnivore?"

"Yes."

...

"Really?"

"Don't fuckin' 'really' me like I'm supposed to know what that is.."

"It's like a flip of the coin whether or not you know about any given piece of information.. You knew what a 'rape van' was of all things."

"Really need to chastise me for not knowing something? Can't just tell me and be done with it?"

"Alright, sorry. Carnivores are just animals that can only eat meat."

...

"..Really?"

"Yeah."

...

"..Not fucking with me?"

"I'm not fucking with-, why is this of all things so hard to believe?"

"So they're just locked out of, like.. All that food? Half of all food? Why? 'Cause fuck 'em?"

"I don't know. That's just how they ended up, I guess. Don't quote me on this, but I think it's because they have a smaller intestinal tract, or something..? They can't digest plants fast enough."

"That sounds like a huuge fricken' disadvantage."

"It kinda works out. Herbivores can only eat plants, so herbivores can live in the same area as carnivores and create an ecosystem without increasing competition. Herbivores won't eat the carnivore's food, and carnivores won't eat the herbivore's food."

"Look at you, science freak."

"I kid you not, everyone over the age of 5 knows this. I'm not really sure why we teach it so early, but we do."

"Five year old's know the length of animal's intestinal tract?"

"No, I just meant.. They know that carnivores eat meat, and herbivores eat plants."

"Mm, fine.." Roxy grumbles an acknowledgement.

...

"..Sorry, I probably shouldn't be comparing you to a five year old and making you sound like an idiot when there's no real reason you should know this."

"What? ..No- I know. You're an idiot; insults from you don't mean anything. It just sounds frustrating.."

"What does?"

"Not being able to eat anything you want."

...

"You're upset because an animal somewhere can't eat a salad?"

"Shut up, that makes it sound stupid."

"It's new, at least.. What about it is upsetting?"

"I'm imagining, like.. That someone gave me a bowl of food, but I couldn't eat any of it because 'nature said so'. Feels dumb."

"Awww, you do have empathy..!"

"I'll kill you."

"How would you feel if someone tried to kill you? That wouldn't be very nice."

"Mike."

"How would you feel if someone called you Mike? That wouldn't be very nice."

"Please, shut the fuck up."

"How would-"

"Shut. Up."

"Mkay."

I recede smiling with my successful fuckery attempt, stepping over a few shambled costume limbs and getting a good look at a few of the many Freddy costumes.

...

"Aren't foxes smaller than wolves?" I'm barely able to pick up Roxanne's mumbling.

"I can't believe you're still thinking about this."

"Wolves would be better carnivores than foxes, that's all I'm saying."

"..Well, yeah.. Good thing they are?"

"What?"

"Wolves are carnivores."

"You said Foxes were."

"I said 'Foxes aren't even carnivores', which means wolves are, 'cause I was comparing them."

"Oh.. I'm supposed to be a carnivore?" Rox wonders out loud, looking down at herself for some reason, like that would ever give her an answer to her question..

"You aren't, but the animal you're based on, yeah."

"How do you know?"

"..How do I know?"

"Fuckin'-, yes. How do you know what's a carnivore? How do you tell?"

"I dunno, I've just.. Learned over time?"

"So you could just be lying to me right now."

"First, that wouldn't be considered 'lying' anyway, I'd just be mistaken. Second, I'm positive wolves are carnivores. Like, 100%."

"Look it up."

"I don't need to look it up-"

"Look it up, so I don't have to rely on your dumbass judgement."

"Fine.."

...

...

"Wolves are carnivores. 'Data on the feeding ecology of wolves indicate that wolves are true carnivores, consuming a negligible amount of vegetal matter.' So you're a true carnivore, whatever that means. Feel special."

"Lemme see."

"I am not giving you my phone."

"Ah. But giving me your laptop's fine, dipshit?"

"Yep... Oh hey~!" I chime, finding an interesting section of the article I was looking at.

"Don't.. Don't say hey like that, that's scary-. What are you doing?"

"There are ways to tell which animals are carnivores, apparently. Open your mouth."

"What?"

"Open your mouth."

"Hell no.. What?"

"Real quick, it'll prove what I'm saying."

"Tell me what you're doing."

"Just open your mouth."

"Tell me what you're doing."

"It's easier to show you. Trust me, open your mouth."

"..I really, really don't wanna do that. Not around you."

"What the hell do you expect me to do to you? Poke around in your mouth so you can bite me?"

"I will if you do."

"Well I don't want to get bitten, so there's your proof I'm not doing anything weird."

...

"Fine.."

...

"Oh yeah, you got a billion of 'em."

"Whah?" Rox asks grossly, with her mouth still open.

"All of these teeth, right here."

"..Whereh?"

How am I supposed to answer that? Point at her teeth harder?

..Fuck it.

"These ones."

"Wh- Ah?! Don't fuckin'-! I told you not to poke!"

"Sorry. I had no other way of telling you 'where' I was pointing. It's not like you could look."

"You said you wouldn't do anything weird..!"

"It wasn't that weird, it's not like I was actually in your mouth."

"I should've fuckin' bitten you.. It's what you deserve today.."

"I only touched the outsides of the teeth, so it was like, touching the rim outside of your mouth; not in it. It's probably not as weird as you're making it out to be-, Dentists make a living doing what I did."

"Are the fuckin' dentists purple? Named Mike? Working the night-shift at my Pizzaplex?"

"You say 'your' Pizzaplex a lot."

"It is 'mine'-, especially not yours. Tell me what you just did to me."

"Those teeth are 'carnissial', which mean's they're sharp teeth designed to slice meat or 'cut sinews'. I dunno what sinews are, I think they're something in your muscles.. I'm just repeating what the thing on my phone said."

"That's great, Mike. Don't poke my mouth ever again, or I'm 'cutting the sinews' in your fuckin' neck."

"It was an educational experience"

"You'd better have some 'carnissial' teeth to defend yourself with, purple boy."

"Kinda."

"How 'bout you open your mouth and we check?"

"Please don't."

"I get to bite you later."

"..What?"

"I'm biting you later."

"No you are not."

"You'll know when it happens."

"Don't bite people."

"Don't poke people's teeth."

"I'll make that deal if you don't bite me."

"No, I'm biting you."

"Are you being serious?"

"You'll find out."

"Don't bite me. Bites infect super easily."

I'm fairly certain I can't get infections on account of being a corpse, but whatever prevents her from fucking biting me.

"Maybe it'll be your neck.."

"That could kill me."

"What a shame."

I can't tell if she's kidding or not, and it's reeeally starting to get to me..

...

...

A few seconds pass of walking around the various empty suits in a comfortable silence, though now I'm putting in a bit more effort to keep tabs on where Roxy is at all times.. Does she think she's a vampire?

..Y'know, calling these things 'suits' is kind of a stretch at the moment.. There's no endoskeleton holding the pieces together, so it's more like.. They just put the pieces of the suit on the floor where they would go if they could make them stick.

...

"Oh hey, found a Bonnie."

I find a secluded Bonnie head set a little ways away from the collection they seem to be setting up. I try approaching the thing with the intent of picking it up, before deciding that I'm not really thrilled at getting the opportunity touch that thing..

Doesn't stop the wolf from marching in and swiping it up like she owns the place though.

"..The posters made her look blue.."

"They do that. Don't really know why.. The Toy version was blue."

"This fucker is purple. There's no way to argue that he isn't."

"Mhm."

"..I can see why she didn't get many fans with a face as charming as this one.."

"Bonnie was a boy."

"..Bonnie was a boy?"

"..Yes?"

"He's purple."

"I'm purple."

"His name is Bonnie."

"Bonnie is an acceptable name for both boys and girls."

"No, it-.. Doesn't it literally translate to 'girl' or something?"

"..No? I don't think so.. 'Chica' means girl in spanish, if that's what you're thinking of."

"Well then what does 'Bonnie' mean?" Roxy passionately argues, lifting the head up towards the light while also holding it like she's trying to keep it as far away from her as possible.

"It's Scottish, I think."

"Scottish for what?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure if it even has a definition."

"Look it up."

"Why are you so adamant about this?"

" 'Cause it's stupid, look it up."

"Fine.."

...

...

"Apparently it means things like 'Beautiful' or 'Attractive'."

"So it's a girl thing..!"

"Boys can be beautiful and attractive."

"Maybe to you, gaylord, but if you called someone 'beautiful' you'd expect them to be a girl. You say 'handsome' for boys."

"Who taught you the term 'gaylord'?"

"You, from being a gaylord."

I'll kill this woman.

"..Didn't you think Foxy was a girl too?"

" 'Cause girls are 'Foxy', not boys."

"The name 'Foxy' was not alluding to how attractive he was. His name was 'Foxy' because he's a fricken' Fox.. How many girls did you think made up the gang in the pizzeria?"

"I have no idea. Was Chica a girl, at least?"

"Nope. Only girl was Freddy."

"Chica looks fricken' bulky.."

"She got made fun of a lot for being 'fat'."

"Did they make fun of Freddy for being fat?"

"Not really. Freddy wasn't much bigger than Bonnie."

"Mm. Thought maybe they got on Freddy's ass too for being bulky as a girl.."

...

"..Rox, No way you thought I was serious."

"What?"

"Freddy is a boy, Chica is a girl. I was fucking with you."

"Mike-, how am I supposed to know..?!"

"Because Freddy is indisputably a boys name, and 'Chica' literally means 'girl'. "

"Fuck it, I don't know anymore." Roxy concludes, dropping the Bonnie head. "At least I didn't forget the one thing we came in here to do."

"Aw, bruised ego?"

"Yes, and now I'm bruising yours."

"Try me."

"You already heard what I said. Your ass walked in here with me and almost walked right the hell out after doing jack shit."

"Mm.. That is pretty hard to defend.." I agree quietly, rubbing my chin.

" 'Forgetful' doesn't befit a knight, worm." Rox recites, putting her hands on her hips and bowing down to my face-level.

"...What?"

"I'm saying you're a bad night-guard, numbnuts."

"What did you just say?"

"Mike."

"What in the world got into you for those six words? 'doesn't befit'? Did you call me a knight and then immediately, subsequently, call me a worm?"

"Holy shit, nevermind."

"..Oh-, 'night' and 'knight'.. Gotta hand it to you, that one's pretty stupid."

"I feel like you're changing the subject."

"There's no way I could've let that sudden burst of roleplay slide. I'm remembering this moment for the rest of my life."

"I'm, fuckin'.. I'm a performer, I roleplay for a living."

"That was something else entirely, though."

"Let's talk about how you're an idiot for forgetting something again, that was more fun."

"What else is there to say?"

"I could say a lot of things about you. Wanna hear some?"

"No thank you."

"Good. Not very many of them had to do with you being 'forgetful' anyway.."

"I'm not forgetful, I just forgot something once."

"It's not the quantity, shitlord. It's the fact that it was happening right in front of you and you still failed to recognize that until I literally pointed at it."

...

Just in the nick of time, I remember something else I forgot that could be used as a phenomenal rebuttal.

"You're no better. You have like, 3 things total to remember for your entire life here in these walls, and you still forget stuff."

"Uh-huh. Like what?"

"What day is it?"

"Tuesday. I don't know the number, but that's not because I 'forgot', I just don't need to care."

"What else about today is important?"

"..How do you mean 'important'?"

"Important like it's only happening today, and it won't happen for a looong time afterward."

"..Is it something I'm expected to know? Like, you're not just saying there's an obscure-ass comet that only passes once every bajillion years outside, are you?"

"It's something you're expected to know, yeah."

"You gonna say something like 'today's the day I tell you stuff' or something stupid that no one could ever guess?"

"Nope. There's no reason that wouldn't happen for a long time again anyway."

"..."

"Hell, it has a lot to do with what you do for a living."

"That's not as helpful as you think it is."

"I shouldn't need to give hints at all~"

"You're fucking with me.."

"Nope. Well- kind of, but everything I said is still true."

"..."

"Where's my b-day present, Rox?"

"Oh fuck you.."

Thank god I remembered that a whole 30 seconds before she might have.

"We talked about it yesterday~. Chica did this whole thing about it, and it caused Trudge to fly into the pile of papers. Plenty of reasons to have remembered."

"I doubt you remembered it was your birthday until a couple seconds ago.."

"Who knows."

...

For a second, there's a glazed look in Rox's eyes, like she had to stop and think about something.

After a few moments though, she stands up straight and crosses her arms.

"You have a job to do, don't you? One besides standing here and fucking with me?"

"Mm.." I mutter in acknowledgement, turning back to look at all the costumes we walked past, as well as a few new ones that Coop and whoever was driving the van is still unloading. "I guess so.. Should probably get started at one point or the other.."

"It fine if I leave you to do your dirty-work?"

I give a curious glance in her direction, admittedly a little surprised she didn't insist on staying like she did last night, or earlier today.

..Oh man.. I completely forgot that Rox was so tired she could barely walk just a short while ago. Our talking must've woken her up a bit, but there's no doubt she still must be feeling some fatigue after going so long without any rest.

"Oh. Yeah, of course. Probably shoulda forced you to go to bed anyway.."

"I'm not tired anymore. And I 'would've' been fine earlier if you'd just let me wake up a bit first, instead of fuckin' immediately white-knighting me to go get more sleep."

"Mmmmmmmmm.. I'm not entirely convinced.. You've been going a long time without any reasonable amount of rest."

"I'm fine."

"You always say that."

"Because I am always fine."

"Whatever you say. But anyway yeah, absolutely. Go relax for a while. I'll come back when I'm done."

...

"How long do you think you'll take, out of curiosity..?"

"The decision to add 'out of curiosity' to the end of your sentence is the only reason I'm convinced that it isn't 'out of curiosity' whatsoever."

"Fuckin'-.. How long will it take?"

"I don't know. Maybe an hour? There aren't very many things, but it might take an extra second to get a good look at all of them."

"..Can you make it, like, two hours?"

"Aw. Sick of me already?"

With a disheveled sigh, Rox rolls her eyes and gives up on the incredibly unconvincing act.

"If you get done before two hours pass, make yourself useful somewhere else until I'm done. That's all I'm saying."

"Done with what?"

"If you can demonstrate even a little bit of fuckin' patience, you might have a birthday gift waiting for you when you get back.."

"That's the scariest thing you've ever said to me."

"I mean it for real, purple man."

"..What are you thinking the gift is gonna be?"

"I'm not telling you, dumbass. That defeats the point."

"..Not gonna bite me, right?"

"I'm not, no." Roxy states flatly, before letting an amused huff escape her snout. "Nevermind, that's funny. I might."

"Don't bite me."

"If my idea doesn't work, I'm afraid I'll have no other choice than to resort to biting you. I don't make the rules."

"Please."

"Hearing you plead me not to injure you brings me overwhelming satisfaction." Rox continues with an arrogant smirk.

Mm. I'm gonna die.

"..Well whatever-, you're good to go. I'll come back in two hours, I guess."

"Y'know what? Changed my mind: just wait till I tell you to come."

"Final answer?"

"Maybe."

"Mnn.." I mumble, deciding the conversation's pretty much over and turning back to look at the work ahead of me.

I'll have to decide here pretty soon what I think the best option for these suits is gonna be.. Don't really know what Coop plans to do with any of these if I tell him he can keep whatever he wants. Might have to sit here and brainstorm a few different things I could do.

...

..Y'know.. Looking at these old suits without actively being in a conversation with the wolf starts to send my mind a couple different ways.. There's a lot of memories in this noggin of mine with those faces plastered on them. Some better, some worse.

...

Without really intending to, I find myself starting to have a whole new train of thought about the suits and what memories I associate them with. Only after a few minutes of doing so does this thought process seem to start a butterfly effect.

A few moments of passed, but I've just noticed in the corner of my eye that Rox is still standing there. I haven't turned to look at her, but with her expression in my peripheral, it seems like she's having a little thinking sesh of her own.. Presumably about this ominous 'idea' she seems to have though up..

..Man.. There's gonna be a lot of Roxy today..

Not even counting the whole little moment we had standing around here in the offloading center, there's still a lot of serious thought about how I want to play out the rest of the day with her..

...

I really promised her that I'd let her in on a few things, huh? ..It feels like I made that decision in the heat of the moment, but recounting the entire conversation in my head, I can't help but say it was a conclusion I reached logically.. Or I guess 'emotionally', since that whole promise rides on the fact that I 'trust' her not to tell anyone anything, which is certainly a more emotion thing.

..I really do trust her.. That's kind of wild.. Thinking back, has there ever been anyone I could bare my soul to before? I had a few 'friends' when I was a kid, sure, but they obviously didn't have the kind of character you'd look for to find someone trustworthy enough to offload your emotional baggage on. My family wasn't the best either, so it's not like they would've listened.. I mean, my mother and I had a decent relationship, but uh.. More often than not, the only reason she was talking to me was to beg me to stop tormenting my brother..

..The only one who had a truly good heart in the family was Evan.. Maybe he would've listened to me if I didn't-..

...

I can't be thinking about this right now. There's stuff I have to do, and decisions I haven't made about that stuff yet.

..With the thoughts of everything Roxanne related circulating in my head, the decisions I have to make, in addition to this new thought process about my past 'relationshis' that I can't help but instinctively wanna dig through, my head starts to get a little fuzzy.

You wouldn't think it'd be so hard to get yourself to stop 'thinking' for a bit..

I turn my head a little to look at the back of the van currently being unloaded, in hopes maybe I'll find a distraction there.

The van looks most of the way empty.. Guess they have been at it the entire time I've been lollygagging around with the wolf.. They're pulling what has to be the 6th Freddy costume out of the back doors. How many of those did they have crammed back in that corner of the pizzeria?

Hm.. The pizzeria..

..I need to figure out, for certain, what I'm about to tell Roxy.. I feel like there's a very delicate line somewhere that I can't cross, so it's like a balancing game of 'see how much I can get off my chest without crossing that line'.

...

Unfortunately, looking at Freddy too long starts another series of thoughts about what I might be able to tell Rox regarding the whole situation Coop's had going on these last few days.. Maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea to let her in on a few of these 'secrets' that have a direct relation to her, and have a decent change of effecting her future.

..Cooper..

My eyes are drawn a few inches to the right, towards the old man helping the driver place the suit set neatly on the floor.

...

I'm.. I don't know what to think about him..

The entire conversation I had with him repeats in my head several times, and it hits like a hammer each and every time it passes through..

I don't get him. Not even a little. Is he good? Like, morally? He certainly seems to be.. It's hard to find someone who genuinely cares as much as Cooper does. You can go to him for anything, and he'll throw everything away to center all of his attention on you until he knows you're okay again.

Just the thought of him warms my heart. Every pore of my body wants to throw away any idea that Cooper isn't entirely and utterly a sheet of snow-white purity and wisdom.. But, f-.. Just.. What the hell? Why does he think the way he does about the animatronics? I'm not even sure what he thinks of the animatronics. He doesn't seem to think about them as nothing, but the way he says he'd act suggests there's something about them that he doesn't value.. And when I try to ask him what that is, he tells me that there isn't anything he doesn't value.. It's like he's a walking oxymoron..

..Not to mention what I might've done if I had let myself lose it back then.. As much as I want to be like 'whew, good thing that didn't happen.' I just can't. I can't brush this one off as nothing. I got way too close to doing something way too catastrophic.

...

Agh, fuck- Mike! Who cares?! That's not what you're here to do right now..!

...

Roxy's fatigue, Cooper's discussion, my almost-killing him, Roxy's discussion, my promise to tell her stuff, what I'm going to tell her, the parts & service room, the costumes, the pizzeria, the 'birthday gift', Evan..

...

..My head hurts..

Y'know what? I can't do this right now.. There's already been way too many absurdities in the short time I've been in this room, and they're cluttering my mind. Trying to think about it all at once feels like a whirlwind is tearing through my head, preventing me from doing the thinking that I need to do about what's in front of me..

...

...

I bring my arm up to my head, like I'm trying to wipe sweat.

"..Actually, starting to think I might follow you out for a second or two." I state as calmly as I can pretend to be to the wolf, who I'm only 60% sure is still standing beside me.

"You gotta get this done before we can do anything, numbnuts."

"I know. I just meant like, out of the room.. Head's fuzzy, think I need a 5 minute break."

"The only thing you've done for the last twenty minutes is badger me."

"Sure did."

"Michael!" Coop's familiar voice rings through my eardrums, reminding me that there's other people to talk to in here besides the one right next to me.

I take my arm down and find the old fool waving at me from the van.

"Didja' get a chance to check out somma' this stuff? Pretty cool, right? Ready to tell me whatcha think?"

I huff. It's still a bit amusing to hear this well-experienced man devolve into childlike mannerisms when he gets excited.

"In a little bit. I got a good glance at a couple of them, but there's still plenty to do." I yell back.

"Perfect~, ready to have ya' at any time."

"..Hey actually-, is it alright if I take like five minutes to clear my head outside? Lotta memories trapped in these little suites finally crawled their way back to me.."

Characteristically, Cooper actually looks away from what he's doing to perk up and try to get a better look at me from the distance he's at.

"..Yeah, 'course! I'm still willin' to pack this up and wait till tomorrow if you're feelin' unwell, so just say the word."

"I'm fine, just a fuzzy head."

"Completely sure?"

"Pretty sure, at least. Thanks Coop." I respond dismissively, turning around to start heading towards the door. As soon as I'm facing the other direction, I put a hand to my cranium an subtly as I can.

Man.. My head, like.. Hurt hurts.. It's like every second I spend in here makes the thoughts whip around in my brain even more violently than before..

Even now, my brain's sub-consciously on high-alert; intaking any information it can from the area around us, despite not having any more room to put that information..

...

Guess I have no reason to believe it'll get much better when I'm out of here.. Maybe it'd be best if I tried taking a couple steps toward clearing my mind now.

The thought of having to brainstorm a solution to 'brainstorming too much against my will' almost kills me, but thankfully, I appear to have chosen the words of my last thought well.

Couple 'steps', huh?

...

I start trying to force my brain to hyper fixate on the sound of my footsteps. Soft little clip-clops as I inch my way closer to the door..

...

Come on..

...

- clip, clop, clip, clop, clip -

I sound like a horse.

Whatever.. I think it's helping a little.. It'll help more when I finally make it out of here, where my brain won't be trying to overhear the information the other 4 people in the room are outputting.

...

- clip, clop, clip, clop, clip -

...

"A little more, yeah. Think you're happy with what we got so far?"

..The voice isn't familiar, so I'm assuming it belongs to that person helping Cooper unload the van. Presumably the driver of the van itself.

"This is great, kid. Haven't felt like this since I was little guy. Almost brings a tear to my eye."

The other voice, reasonably, belongs to Cooper..

I'm glad they're not talking to me, of course, so I'll take that pleasantry.. But I really wish I could get by brain to do something other than mind other people's business for ten minutes..

...

- clip, clop, clip, clop, clip -

...

"It's a lot of the same."

"D'aw, that's why we got the Mike-ster to tell us what's worth somethin'! Even if he can't find nothin', it's still a blast to check out all these little buggers. Nothin's goin' to waste today."

"Are you sure he can find anything in here..? I'm not sure he had access to that room any sooner than we did.."

"Who knows, kid. Don' stress 'bout it either way, arright? Perfectly happy with what we got so far."

Making me the topic of discussion didn't make it any easier to ignore them.. 'Mike-ster'?

...

- clip, clop, clip, clop, clip -

...

"Arriiight, this the last one?"

"There's nothing else in the van, so I sure as hell hope so."

Cooper chuckles.

"Freddy here's seen better days.."

"Freddy number fourty-seven.. Oh yeah-, check this one out, actually. Think you'll like it a little more than the rest."

"I'll leave the checkin' fer someone more qualified. I'll still oggle at it, if that's acceptable."

The driver chuckles himself, evidently no more immune to Cooper's charms than anyone else.

"I'm not good for anything but oggling myself, but at least Mike'll get a kick out of it."

Oh good. He's learned my name. Clever girl.

...

- clip, clop, clip, clop, clip -

...

"..Mmwelp.. Sorry, I'm not seein'-.. What's supposed to be quirky 'bout this one?"

"Y'see the arm?"

"Ayup."

"What's different about it from the other's we've carried out so far?"

Don't get invested. Don't get invested. Don't get invested.

Your mind literally cannot handle being interested in anything else right now.. You'll have all the time in the world to find out what's so interesting about the arm in a few minutes, just keep walking. Listen to the steps.

...

- clip, clop, clip, clop, clip -

...

"...Oh- Ha! It ain't fallin' off! Still attached somewhere!"

"Yep. Not incredibly hopeful there's any hope of this thing running again, but we're thinkin' there's still an endoskeleton in this bad boy. If we're lucky we might be able to get a little bit of stuff out of whatever's-"

- CLACK -

My foot collides with the floor and every single thought that was storming my mind disappears in a violent snap.

That's not possible.

That's not possible.

That's not possible.

That is not possible. It isn't You must be fucking with me. You're fucking with me.

Before I even really know what I'm doing, I've already traversed the entire distance I've been walking up to this point. Desperately attempting to get a look in the van.

That's impossible.

That is impossible.

I was there. Freddy was nothing more than a pile of rotted scraps, and had no way of making it out of the burning Fazbear Frights. That's impossible.

He burned. I'm positive. I'm one-hundred percent positive, with zero room for error. I've never been more sure of anything, ever. That cannot be him.

..Even though I've never been more confident of something in my entire life, pangs of dread still pulse through my heart with every step I take.

It isn't him. It can't be. There's no way. I was there, I saw what he was. He was just a soul lingering in a scattered, mangled body that was once Freddy. Even if I didn't burn him to nothing, there's no way to recover from what he was.

What if he did?

He couldn't have. Literally zero chance, no matter what happened. It cannot be him.

What if it is?

What if he-

- Pompf -

Oh, wh-?

"Ow, Mike..? What? Miss me?"

I look to where I was sidestepping and find the wolf, standing in the same place she was before I started heading for the door.

"R..Roxy?"

"Yes, idiot."

"Wh-.. I th.. I thought you were walking behind me..?"

"No, got distracted. But I'm ready to-"

"Move. Sorry."

Priorities reorganize in my head, and I gently push past Roxanne to continue speedwalking towards somewhere that'll let me get a better view.

Where would he even have been for Cooper to find him? Would Fred have shambled his body, which he no longer had, back to the parts & service room for some god-forsaken reason?

That's stupid. Of course he didn't, that can't be Freddy. It can't.

...Right?!

Fuck-, please..! It can't..! He would've needed to-, it..! It's impossible, he couldn't have made it out. He could. not. have. made. it. out.

"Mike, get your ass back here-.." Rox interrupts herself with a grumble, that I very quickly dismiss.

That's impossible.

That's impossible, that's impossible, that's impossible, that's impossible, that's impossible, that's impossible.

That's impossible, that's impossible, that's impossible, that's-..

...

..Huh?

That's.. not Freddy..?

What?

I managed to find my angle and finally get a look at the Freddy costume actively being taken out from the van.

..I mean, that is a Freddy's costume, but that's.. That's not right..

There are dents and scratches where I know there weren't, and unharmed fabric and fake fur on places I distinctly remember there being chunks taken out of him.

"Mike. Holy shit. Listen to me for once."

Reluctantly, I tear my eyes from the costume to acknowledge Roxanne's existence, though quickly return them to the point of interest when she starts making it to a conversation distance.

"S...Sorry, I'm-.. I, uh.."

My brain fails me once more, not dedicating enough processing power towards having a conversation with the person actively speaking with me.

"Are you ready to go yet? Or did you change your mind? Either way, tell me, so I can go."

"I.. uh.."

I keep opening my mouth to respond, but only get a word or sound out before my attention fixates onto the bear again.

..What's with that thing? What am I looking at? I mean-, yes, it's a Freddy costume, but it's not Freddy's costume. That's not the one he wore.

"Giving you a timer. I'm leaving in fifteen seconds, with or without you." Roxy continues walking a bit to stand in front of me, but I instinctively hold my arm out to brush her just out of my way enough to keep staring into the van.

"S-Sorry, just.. Gimmie.. A second.."

"Oh-Mikey! Y'hear what we got here?" Cooper calls out to me proudly, positioning the costume as if it's sitting with it's legs dangling off the back of the van.

..The suit is being held together by something, like they said.. But that's not.. I didn't think endoskeletons were that well hidden.. The light usually reflects off the metal so you can see the rods and, um..

"Can I keep this one? Do you care at all which one's I grab? Probly' not, there's not much left a' these things.." Cooper mutters, turning around to look back in the van.

..Why does it look so weird?

..It's not right, I just.. can't explain why.. Is it just because the skeleton isn't reflecting? Maybe it's just a trick of the light, maybe if we move him out of the van and into the light a little more..

"Gonna answer him chucklenuts?" Roxy smirks and jabs at me with an elbow. "If you want him for yourself, that's all you have to say."

Wh.. What's up with it's..?

"Arright, think this one's a keeper." Cooper pridefully declares, patting the costume on the shoulder. "Get'ta see the inner workings of Willy myself this time~. Not just readin' his papers. I'mma take 'em down to the office 'n see what I can't find. He'll still be a mighty fine trophy if I can't get his gears turnin' again."

Cooper hops down from the van and reaches to grab the costume, shooting me one last glance.

"..Ooh, that's probly' better idea.. You want 'em, actually? Think my office's a little too easy fer' everyone to see. Maybe I'll chuck 'em in your office once I'm done pokin' around."

..What's up with the eyes..? It's like someone pulled them too hard, and now they're hanging comically from their sockets.. Like they don't fit.. Why wouldn't they fit? Is the costume not on correctly? ..Is it the wrong kind of endoskeleton..?

Is it a different kind of endoskeleton..?

..That's stupid, right? A different kind of-..

"-|-That's not -|- an endoskeleton.-|-|-"

In direct contrast to my predicament a few minutes ago, my mind goes blank, and my voice escapes me without my permission. Though my aghast mutterings are quiet enough for only Roxy to pick up on.

"That's not an endoskeleton, that's not-..."

"You're losing it, purple boy." Rox comments casually, crossing her arms.

A couple more satisfied pats on the costume's shoulder later, Cooper calls back to me for a verdict.

"That sound good to you? Keep 'em and stick 'em up somewhere? Tell ya' what, you probly' know how to get it's suit off better than I do. We'll make that the objective fer' today and-"

Suddenly, I find my voice again, and decide to delicately provide my opinion on the matter.

"No!" I bluster with wildly more force than necessary. "No! No..! No-, we can't keep it. You're not keeping it-, I'm getting rid of it."

"Fucking- Jesus, Mike!" Roxanne stumbles a bit, both in response to my sudden outburst and a nearly-lunging step I took toward the suit before getting a hold of myself.

"Look- You can have the rest of them. Take whatever you want. But we are not keeping this one. It's-.."

I've managed to lower my voice back to debatably reasonable levels, but even I can hear how strained my voice is. I'm holding myself back, but it's incredibly obvious I'm trying to do so.

"Chill, corpse!" Roxy snags my sleeve as I try taking another step forward, evidently annoyed with how shove-y I've gotten with her.

I'm sorry Rox, I really am. And I'll tell you that myself later. But I cannot let this slide. This isn't something that I can just hope people ignore. All they'd have to do is remove any part of the costume, and everyone in here would know everything.

If they see this proof that the animatronics killed people, so many things that were passed off as stupid rumors would turn into real possibilities. And if even one person thought to share this discovery with the world, it's over. There's nothing I could possibly do from that point, it'd be completely out of my control.

"..H..Hey, what? Why? This is as good of something we could ever find, right?" The driver explains with degrading certainty, sharing the Wolf's reaction to my outburst.

Cooper's looking down at me too, but not in confusion like the other two. His expression resembles nothing more than mild curiosity. Shockingly similar to his neutral expression, actually.. Which admittedly has been a rare sight as of late, since now he tends to run everywhere with a big dumb smile.

"Look, please..! Just-, not this one. It isn't what it looks like-, I need to get rid of it. Really." I continue arguing, kinda wishing I'd keep my trap shut, but knowing that's impossible for the state I'm in.

"Mike, what? What's so special about that hunk of shit?" Roxy demands, tying to violently tug me back with my sleeve, but I twist it out of her grip in without really thinking about it.

"It's-, um.."

"We think there's an endoskeleton in this one. Like, the actual robot part that makes the costume move.." The driver elaborates for me. "So, uhm.. We can't just throw it away, right? This might be the last one of these on the planet."

"..So this one works?" She responds with genuine curiosity, unsettling me further. "..Mike, I kinda wanna see that.."

"No..! Look-, I understand, but I really-..! I really think we need to throw this one away..!"

Roxy steps forward to grab my arm again, but I subconsciously bat it away without removing my sights from the costume.

"Fuckin'-.. Mike!"

"Hey.. Listen, Mike. It took a lot of time and energy to get this, alright..? It's the best we've found so far, and it would make no sense to throw it away like it's nothing, right? Aren't you a little curious to see what happened to this thing?" The driver meekly continues; they're clearly not confrontational, but they do appear to be pretty passionate about what they found.

"I want to see it, moron. Of course we aren't tossing it-, that makes no sense. Mike's the only one freaking out about this."

"Yeah.. We really shouldn't toss it.."

"We aren't going to, because that's stupid."

"Cooper already spent a small fortune on getting as many hardworking people as he needed to find everything, and he was there doing just as much of the work as we were.. It wouldn't be fair to him if we threw away the only-"

"Welp." Cooper interrupts with a chuckle, sending another pang of dread through my body as I prepare for a third argument that I'm not going to be able to defend against whatsoever. "Sounds good, I'll leave 'em to you."

Cooper hops down from the side of the fan, rolling his sleeves up and making his way past us to another point of interest he's found in the collection of suits they'd already set up.

"If ya' need a cart 'r somethin' to get him out to the dumpster, or wherever else ya' want 'em, just yell. Brought one of those wheely-carts just in case we needed 'em, and I was startin' to get worried we wouldn't. Helluva pain gettin' that thing up the stairs.." He chortles again, seemingly having decided on another task he wants to work on instead.

...

What..?

Managing to tear my eyes off him, I look back at the suit and get a glance at the two others as well, who seem to be having the same reaction I am.

W..Why? Why'd he give methe benefit of the doubt there?

Isn't this the one thing he's been obsessing over for these last few days..? He should've wanted this thing more than anybody, exponentially so. Right?

..Did he give in as a result of his desire to appeal to his employee's wishes..? Like, did he just decide not to be interested in it anymore because he saw that I was uncomfortable with it for whatever reason..?

..That doesn't make much sense though.. There were two other of his 'employee's' vouching against me. I was outvoted, so surely he would've picked the side that appealed the most people, right? Hell, even he was excited to check this thing out, so I was losing three-to-one.

...

I don't get it. I don't get him. I just.. I don't get him..

...

..There was a time where Chica and I were talking over my watch while I was out getting groceries.. I can't remember how our conversation led to this point, but Chica had told me that, for whatever reason, Cooper scared her a little. Not because he was intimidating, or that she thought there was a single evil cell in his entire body, but because she found him completely unpredictable.. That was the first time I'd ever heard anyone say anything about Cooper that wasn't overwhelmingly positive, and I brushed her off immediately, because the idea that there was anything unusual about Coop was completely unthinkable to me at the time.

...

I think Cooper scares me a little bit too..

It's unbelievable. I've never been so utterly defeated about what to think of someone before.. Well I certainly understand what Chica means now.. 'Unpredictable' doesn't do it justice at all.

It's like I'm completely locked out of his head. I can't glean his thoughts from him like I can with literally anyone else.. Like, when I stare at Trudge, it's like I can read his thoughts a little just by looking at him, and prepare for what he's about to say or do. Same with Rox, Chica, Monty.. Fricken' everybody.

Not Coop.

When I stare at Coop, there's nothing. It's almost like my mind goes blank when I try to get into his.. It's not like he keeps his thoughts a secret either, he wears his heart on his sleeve.. When I see him walking around or approaching, there are so many signs and signals his body language is giving off that it's like it's telling me a story. That lazy smile, how he walks, talks, physically does anything.. It's like there's enough information in his body language to write a fifteen-page essay at any given time, but it just.. It's like somehow, somehow, not a single piece of information you can get from looking at him ever gives me even the slightest clue what he's going to do next.

...

Well.. His unpredictability seems to have turned out in my favor this time.. Guess I'll take the victories where I can.

I take a few moments to look the costume over. The sense of urgency gradually starts to seep from my body, granting me the ability to chill and think about what just happened for a second.

...

Don't know if I'd call this feeling 'embarrassment', but I can't deny that I'm starting to feel a little self-conscious..

...

"Wh-.. Cooper? Wait-, sir..!"

The van driver appears to be the next to snap out of his fit of confusion, stuttering and hobbling in the direction Cooper just went.

...

Guess I oughta say something to the wolf while she's still around..

"..Hey, um.. Sorry. I was being weird; didn't mean to push you around so much.."

A scoff sounding from next to me is the only reason I have to believe Roxanne's still there.

"No friggen' weirder than you've been all day, jerk."

"Sorry.. I know you're curious about the old bots, but I promise there's a reason I was so adamant about tossing him."

"Uh-huh. Gonna tell me 'bout that?"

"..I think so, yeah.. Not now though, probably when I finish whatever I'm doing here. Alright?"

Unexpectedly, an amused huff is the response I get to that question.

"Can't believe I managed to pry a 'yes' out of your fuckin' lips. Makin' good progress on you."

The playfulness takes me a little by surprise, supplying me the motivation to finally look back at her.

She's staring behind us, back at Cooper and the driver, arms crossed with a smug grin barely visible.

..Huh?

"..Rox?"

"What?" She replies quickly, turning her head to look at me, which I guess is what I was going for.

To be honest, I thought Roxy'd be a little more pissy about the whole situation; especially with how passionately I 'argued' (babbled) against her case.. Really doesn't look like she took it very hard, though.

"..Um.. Nothing, sorry. Just trying to get a better look at you."

"Creep."

..You know what? Maybe it makes sense for her not to be very riled about not getting to keep the suit.. It was a serious issue for me, so maybe I thought that everyone was arguing with just as much passion. Now that I think about it though, I guess Rox didn't really have any reason to think the issue was as serious as it actually was. All she was trying to do was get a look at the thing because she was curious.

The driver might be a different story.. I mean, clearly he didn't think it was as important as 'there's a corpse sitting next to me', but he did seem pretty adamant that it took a lot of effort to get this thing to Coop.. I understand, though. That's a perfectly reasonable argument. It probably required a small miracle to get into that room, all so Cooper could get this suit. So when I waltzed in and told him 'Coop can't have it', he reasonably thought that was a little unfair for him.

..Dunno what Coop's take on the matter is. His mind's a mystery..

...

"..Not a creep.." I mumble absent-mindedly, still a little pre-occupied thinking of a few other things.

..Apparently, that was enough to get an actual laugh out of the wolf.. 'Probably a sign I picked my words poorly..

"That's the most pathetic thing I've gotten out of you yet."

"What..? Oh, 'I'm not a creep'?"

"Yep. Really well done there purple boy. Convincing."

"I don't know what else to say."

"Where's the dumbass rebuttals tonight, huh?"

...

..Look.. I want to get playful, like she's prodding me too, but I'm just not in the condition right now.. I'd love nothing more than to joke around and lighten my mood, but that's.. It's not as easy when you know there's a corpse not even fifteen feet from you..

"Oh, I didn't mean to keep you this long. You can go work on whatever it is you have planned."

That sounded a little artificial, but it'll do.

"Fine. I'm sick of this dusty-ass place anyway, c'mon."

"..C'mon?"

Roxy had already taken a couple steps in the opposite direction by the time I got the question out.

"Yes, come clear your head or whatever. Oldy's gonna get pissy if you waste anymore time."

"Oh.. I'm doing alright, actually. My head cleared up on it's own."

She lets out an amused hmph, without turning around or slowing her pace.

"Smart, I was gonna bite you as soon as we walked through the door. Good you're finally learning to look out for your own sorry hide."

"For the love of god, don't bite me."

Roxy snickers from a distance, lifting a hand over her shoulder as if she's gonna wave goodbye before changing it to a middle finger last second.

...

She must be kidding. Surely that damn wolf can understand how much real, serious damage those teeth can do.. I'm pretty sure she's just happy she discovered a new way of tormenting me, and is abusing it while she can.

I hope...

...

Slowly, my attention once again returns to the Freddy costume, sitting limp on the edge of the van.

...

I can't just toss this thing, something else needs to happen.. I know that if I just drag it out to the dump or toss it into the large unofficial 'landfill' we have underneath the Pizzaplex that the likelihood of someone stumbling across it is really low. If it wasn't for how ridiculously unlucky I have been so far, I might've taken that risk, but I really don't want to leave a loose end like this in the hands of fate.

..Seriously, it's like I can't even laugh at it anymore; how does this happen?

I turn around to look at all the pieces of suits strewn around on the floor, and the events of the last few days replay in my mind.

Sometimes I really do feel like I'm cursed.. I've spent my entire life chasing after these fricken' things. Everything I did was to track down my father, and all of his creations, so I could destroy them and put an end to it all. Then the moment I finally break free and do whatever I possibly can to separate myself from this history and bury it forever, it's like the roles reversed. Now every time I turn around, something I hoped would be gone forever has made itself at home right in front of me, where everyone can see it.

It can't get worse than this. They literally went out and scraped every single Freddy's location, and brought everything back here to me: who's apparently the only person left on the planet who doesn't. want. it.

...

My head's starting to get fuzzy again.. Enough bitching about this, still got stuff to do.

...

Think I might settle for burning the suit. Discovered myself to be pretty handy with fire in the past, and it's always proved pretty effective.

..Maybe not always.. Think this thing'll be a little more cooperative than my father, though.

Hmmmm.. The only problem with that plan is that I can't really go about that inconspicuously.. I mean, if I can get the suit out of here, the burning itself will be pretty safe. It's near impossible to see the smoke at night, and there's always that field you can see from the break room that I can drop by and burn something in. That way I won't have to do it near any buildings.

The issue is that I'd need fuel, or something equally combustible. Which isn't hard, I know there's gas here in the Pizzaplex. It's just, uh.. In here.. Where Coop, Arin, and the driver still are..

It makes sense, unfortunately. Trucks need fuel, and truck can only ever be found here in the offloading area.. I'm positive there's other places gas or whatever other combustibles I need can be found around here, but the only other place that I know has gas lying somewhere around is Roxanne's Raceway.

..I'm sure it wouldn't be all that hard to get some from there, but I'm a little reluctant for a couple of reasons.. One, I have no idea what Roxy's doing for this 'idea' of hers, so unfortunately, I can't rule out the possibility that she'll be in there. Even if she didn't care if I took some gas, I still don't want to 'peek' at what the surprise is. Not because it'd ruin my experience, but uh.. It's kind of a sweet gesture for Roxy to try so hard to put together a present from me, since there's not a lot she can offer me from within the Pizzaplex walls.. I wouldn't wanna ruin the surprise for her sake, I guess. Plus, uh.. If I tick her off, she might bite me.. Still not sure if she's serious about that..

...

I have cameras, and a motion sensor. I'm stupid. I can look if she's in there.

...

..Well, actually.. I still don't think I should grab fuel from there for the second reason..

Two: I'm not too sure how much gas the Raceway gets. Rox has bragged plenty of times before about how fuel-efficient she's made her carts to be, so that makes me a little hopeful she has some to spare. It also makes me a little nervous, though.. I'm not pouring gas in my hands and running outside with it, so if I went to take gas from the raceway, I'd have to take a full container. If Roxanne's go-carts are anywhere near as fuel efficient as she claims they are, an entire canister of gas can last her a very long time.. So by that logic, Roxy might not need to stock up any more than one or two gas canisters at a time. While that is pretty impressive, that might also mean taking a gas canister for myself could set Roxy back a long way. And if I don't tell her I took one, she might realize that she's out of gas in the middle of the day when she thought there was plenty left. She'd have to go and get more, which probably means that any guests checking out the raceway at the time would get bored and/or leave to go check out other attractions.. The Raceway already doesn't get much attention as it is, and I'd feel pretty shitty for contributing to that problem..

Of course, I could just shoot her a text and ask her if it's alright to take some.. However, I feel like the response I'd get would be something along the lines of 'Why do you need gas?'

Those five words are enough to defeat that entire plan.

So, the only viable source of fuel I can think of is within my line of sight, here in the offloading area.

I'm positive I'd raise an eyebrow or two if I tried hobbling over there and grabbing a gas can in front of everyone.. So, only one thing I can think to do:

Wait until everyone leaves.. Which probably won't be until Cooper's satisfied with inspecting all of the costume parts lying around.. As soon as they're gone, I can swipe a gas can and get out of here, easy peasy.

...

Sigh..

Guess that means I should help around.. The quicker we can get this done, the quicker everyone'll leave..

I stand up and turn around from where I'm crouching and 'pretending' to inspect the costume, watching Cooper delicately slide a few pieces of an old Chica costume around. There appears to be an organized line of parts behind him, which I'm assuming are the parts he's already finished looking at.. Unfortunately, that line seems to make up about 6% of the total amount of parts lying around, so.. Guess that means there's quite a bit of work to do..

...

No time like the present, I guess. Still have to drop by Roxy's place tonight, so there's no sense wasting time..

My feet reluctantly begin to move, carrying me in Cooper's direction so I can ask him if he's got some sort of system going on. Maybe I can start on the other end and we can work our way towards each other.

...

..I'm ready for bed..

---

- 2:00 -

Took more time than I expected, but altogether no more than an hour has passed.

Eventually the van driver took off, leaving Coop and I to our work.. Kind of underestimated how chatty this guy was, but that might only be because how enthusiastic he is about all this..

As much as I want to say that tonight's changed my perception of Cooper for the worse, I really can't force myself to think he's actually sinister in some secret way.. It was a little unnerving talking to him while we worked, but I got over it quickly. Despite everything, Coop still maintains the magical ability to interest people in whatever he's talking about.

There's a problem in there somewhere, though. One I will not let slide.

...

Well anyway. We're not quite done, but we might as well be.

Everything has already been thoroughly inspected, with little to no discoveries. Despite this, Cooper still practically begged me to let him have a couple of the suits as props, or just memorabilias. I'm not sure why he thinks I have any sort of authority over him regarding the matter.. I know I was the one who worked at the place these suits came from, but that really doesn't entitle me to anything. He's still the one who went through the effort of digging this stuff up and having it brought here. As far as anyone's concerned, everything's already his.

..Sigh. Part of me is confident Cooper already knows this, but just doesn't care.. It's admittedly a little endearing that he takes my thoughts on the matter so seriously; So much so that it kind of makes me want to remind him that it really doesn't matter what I think, but I'm holding off on that.. Y'know, just in case..

Anyway, I told Coop before he even started begging that he could have as many of the suits as he wanted, excluding the 'endoskeleton' one. Somehow, it looks like the old fool was able to demonstrate a little self control and only decided to keep a few; one of each animatronic. He also keeps telling me about how cool it would be if we set up one of these suits outside my office. I insisted otherwise.. Not that these things freak me out, but the idea of one looming over my shoulder at all times doesn't do me any favors..

I thought I'd be a little more sensitive about these suits, but man.. It really just doesn't bother me.. I know they're like 'monuments' to the horrors of the past, or whatever, but I don't really think of them that way.. No endoskeleton, no bodies (for the most part), no spirits, no blood.. They really are just large hunks of completely ordinary plastic. Non-anomalous in every way. So, sure. Take 'em. I suggested not to put them where the customers might see, since that could obviously cast some shade our way, but I don't have any preferences beyond that.

..We're already gonna suffer some heavy customer losses because of the investigation, Coop. I recommend we do what we can to stop from losing anymore..

Now that I mention it, there's already been a small effect. The article's barely been published, and we've already been receiving a little less business.. The effect is still small though, so the animatronics assume it was nothing more than a slow couple of days; nothing they haven't seen a million times before.

Been keeping up on the article the last couple of days, actually. The spread of it's popularity is still small, but exponential. 10 views, 20 views, 40 views, 80, 160, 320, 640, 1280, 2560.. Every time I check, it's picking up speed, but it's still gonna be a little bit until it's actually moving at a worrisome rate.

Not only that, but several follow-up investigations have been going on since the case was re-opened. They haven't discovered much, but it's evident that they're making progress finding what little is left to be figured out.. If I'm remembering right, some people who claim to have been at the pizzeria the day of the kid's disappearance have come forth and testified. A few have very recently claimed to vaguely recall seeing the missing kids following an animatronic into the back room. I'll give 'em a couple points for being close.

My father was wearing the Spring-Bonnie costume when he lured the children back there, so if they keep on moving down that line of questioning, I feel like that part of the truth is bound to surface eventually.. There have been a couple instances of people wanting to testify who ended up proving that they weren't actually at Freddy's that day, but just knew the rumors, and were passionate about the case. Unfortunately, I'm almost positive that there was never a rumor about a 'costumed man/animatronic leading kids into the back room'. Which would suggest the people who testified that they saw the costume really were at Freddy's that day..

The more they find out, the more popular the case is gonna get, and the more backlash we'll end up facing.. That's not a warning, that's just how things are. No one can stop it at this point.

I wonder if Cooper will even notice..

..Where is that old fool, anyway?

I set down the last chunk of a Freddy costume into the pile that's.. Presumably going to be sent to the dump, or wherever deals with trash this chonky. Maybe it'll just be dumped into the landfill, who knows. Don't think it makes much of a difference anyway.

Peeking over my shoulder to where I saw Coop last, I discover that he's no longer by the suits he's keeping.

..Whoof.. The Foxy costume's seen some better days.. There's even some mold growing on some spots of the mask..

Maybe I should focus.

...

Eventually I spot the man, standing in the distance with another figure.

..Oh hey. Fred.

---

A few minutes pass, and thing are finally starting to look all the way done. No one's really working anymore, everything's sorted, and I'm basically just killing time poking at the 'used' Freddy suit and pretending like I'm busy with it.

I guess I'm not really 'pretending'.. Probably not doing what the others expect me to be doing, but I've been giving this thing a thorough inspection of my own. Was kinda scared of how brittle this thing looks.. I mean, it's not like I actually care if the suit gets damaged, but there's a creeping thought in the back of my mind that if I touch something wrong, part of the arm will fall off, and there'll be a convenient un-obscured view of the corpse inside.

..I'm assuming it's the phone guy in here. I can't imagine who else it could possibly be.. I'm led to believe that the only person the animatronics ended up killing was him before I came along, and I made sure they wouldn't be able to kill anyone else after I left.

As it stands now, I still haven't actually been able to catch a glimpse of him through the cracks; presumably due to the costume being bulky enough to prevent the light from reaching those places.. Turn this thing around just right, however, and it would be easy to get the ceiling light to shine right into a joint.. Not that I'm feeling very compelled to do that.

A few distinguishable footsteps cause me to stop what I'm doing and act as natural as possible. When it finally seems like the footsteps are close enough for a normal person to notice them, I look over my shoulder and stand up.

"Hey."

"Hello, excuse me. Dropped in to speak with Cooper and couldn't help but notice the little relic you've been tapering away at. Thought I would come and get a good look at myself~."

Freddy grips his bow-tie with both hands, evidently happy with the 'joke' he make.. It may not be incredibly funny, but Fred's humor is equally pleasant to listen to.

"Sure. Isn't eye-candy, though.." I admit, turning to look at the costume with him. "..Actually pretty hard to look at sometimes."

"It's iconic." Freddy pleasantly replies, finding where I'm standing to be a comfortable distance to look from. "Perhaps a smidgen outdated, but there's a face not many people can forget."

"I prefer your face."

"I appreciate it."

"That was a weird thing to say."

"Indeed."

"Sorry."

"Given the choice, I would also prefer your face over our old friend here."

"Purple's not a very fashionable face color, but yeah. Still think I prefer mine."

...

An unusual silence passes, and I catch Freddy staring at me.

"Is there something on my face..?" I ask, genuinely. Reaching up as if I'm gonna touch my nose.

..I wanna think Roxy would've told me if there was something on my face, but she wouldn't..

"No, sorry.. I was just curious about something."

"Yeah..?"

If the question's 'why are you purple', I'm not gonna have a good answer for ya.

"..Chica had claimed over text that there was an injury you sustained that made you 'purple'."

"Oh, yeah.."

..Forgot that Chica had already said that over a group text with everyone.. Welp, explaining around showing him my 'injury' might be a little difficult when he asks here in a second..

"Has it gotten better?"

"..What?"

"Sorry, perhaps I shouldn't pry." Freddy suddenly recedes, turning his head back towards the suit. "I may just be misremembering, but I feel as if the 'purple' you're always on about was considerably more noticeable when you first joined the family."

"Oh.. Really..?"

"Ah, maybe you shouldn't take my word for it.." Freddy admits, reaching over to scratch the side of his head. "I simply have to look much harder to notice it now, whereas it was admittedly a difficult thing to miss back then. Perhaps I've just gotten used to it, though."

...

Failing to resist the temptation, I reach down and slide my phone from my pocket; pulling up the camera as inconspicuously as I can.

"..Maybe you're right, actually.." I mutter loud enough for the bear to hear.

Honestly forgot that remnant was doing these impressive, though incredibly slow repairs to my body.. It's shockingly forgettable, despite how necessary it seems.

Look at all those adjectives.

"That's nice to hear."

"Can't believe I haven't noticed until now.."

"If there was a change, it was undoubtedly gradual. The only reason I had this thought to begin with was due to stumbling across an old company photo with most of the staff in it." Freddy explains, patting himself down. "..Doesn't appear that I remembered to bring it with me, however.."

"That's alright. Where'd you find it?"

"I had found it posted on one of the security post boards. The security office it was in is rarely used, however; and the photo is easy to miss."

"Which one?"

"A basement floor; it supervised the kitchen if I remember correctly."

"Mm, I don't doubt I missed it, then. I try to avoid the security offices while scouting the place, and the one in the kitchen is kinda messy."

"It certainly was unpleasant.."

I hum in acknowledgement, and the two of us stand and look down at the suit in comfortable silence for a nice 10 seconds.

"..Oh-, what time is it?"

"Quarter after'."

I've never heard him say something so confidently in my entire life.

"Maybe I should workin', then.. There's a couple places I gotta be tonight." I confess, starting to kneel in front of the suit again.

"Understood. It was a treat to see such a thing." Freddy chimes behind me, already making motions to leave.

"..So what were you talking with Cooper about, out of curiosity..?"

"I'd simply done him a small favor, and was letting him know it was complete."

"Does he not wear a watch?"

"I'm sure he does. I simply prefer to talk to people directly when working with them."

"I'd bet you anything that Cooper feels the same way.. Smart move, big bear."

"Compliment.. reluctantly appreciated.."

Calling Freddy names is inherently the most fun thing you can here.

---

...

Welp.. Think it's about time.

I stand up straights and give the area a scan, making absolutely sure that there's no one blending into the background or something.

...

Realizing I'm an idiot again, I make use of the phenomenal watch Freddy's provided with to check if there's anyone who could be in here.

..It takes a little bit of deductive reasoning to tell who's where.. The motion detection is a phenomenal tool, but part of what makes it so impressive is how Freddy managed it without really having any 'motion detection' equipment. It's tied directly to the cameras, which weren't put in place for this purpose at all. All it does is pick up if a group of pixels in a camera feed is different color than what it was before. If the pixels are changing constantly over the course of a few frames, the camera assumes that the change is caused by something 'moving', and it sends my watch the signal to 'ping' the room motion was detected in.

It's pretty dang impressive how Fred managed to make something so helpful using the data collected by shoddy, lackluster pieces of equipment; which are collecting that data for a completely different reason. It's DIY nature does come with some limitations, though.

It's not perfect. The only real intention is to detect where 'people' are, but a 'person' absolutely does not have to cause motion in order for the camera to ping it. As long as pixels change, a ping is sent. It could just be a fan turning on somewhere, or a bug crawling on the lens. The detector pings a room near the daycare all the time because there's a fountain in there, and it keeps detecting the flowing water as movement. All this to say: false pings aren't inconceivable.

Since the motion detection is dependent on the cameras, it absolutely does not cover every inch of the pizzaplex. Anywhere there isn't a camera, there isn't motion detection.

Finally, the camera also has no idea who's moving, so all it gives me is a dot on the map. It's helpful to know that there's someone there, yes, but I need to know who it is sometimes.

Of course, that problem is solved by taking 0.4 seconds to switch to the camera feed that just pinged me and look for myself.

...

Anyway, time for arson.

It takes me no longer than a few seconds to walk over to a wall near the garage door and pick up a can of fuel from a shelf. It's a nice red, all noticeable and such.

..Man.. It took a lot of work and waiting to finally get an opportunity to do this 5 second task..

Whatever, I'm glad I got this opportunity at all. I was entirely at the mercy of Cooper's random-ass judgement, and the dice rolled in my favor this time.

Finding myself back at the Freddy suit, I kneel and decide how I want to do this.

...

..Should I take him out? The body, I mean?

Not right now, of course.. Still have to carry this a good ways; partially through the Pizzaplex. If I'm lazy and get spotted, explaining why I'm carrying a suit is easy. Explaining why I'm carrying a corpse is not.. Would it be more respectful for him to remove the suit before, y'know.. Erasing him off the face of the earth? Is that what I'd want if I was in his position?

...

Well frankly, I don't think I know how to take this thing off..

Funnily enough, there was an introductory video I was supposed to watch before my first day as a night=guard at Freddy's Pizzeria, part of which covered suit handling. I didn't watch it, and clearly neither did anyone else since the suits never got changed.

I do, however, know how to work the costumes for most of the animatronics I bought for my pizzeria; the one Henry and I set aflame. Maybe if I'm lucky, the process is a little similar.

...

Hey~. There's a button on his nape. That's how you disconnected the arms for the others..

That makes me a bit hopeful, actually. If the process is the same, then this should be easy as pie.

..I'm not gonna take it all off yet, but I do want a peek at one of the arms.. They're the easiest to de and re-attatch, and I want to confirm that there really is a body in here.

I'm positive there is, really. I don't think I even need to check. It wouldn't hurt, however. And who knows? Maybe I'll get extremely, extremely lucky, and it won't be a body after all. Just, like.. Weird pipes holding it together, or something..

...

That's pretty dumb, honestly.. There's a corpse in here, that's the only reasonable conclusion.

I'll just de-attatch an arm plate and stick it right back on. It won't be a pretty sight, but it's considerably better than something like the head or torso.. If it works, I'll know that I can take the suit off when I need to, and plan accordingly.

..Whooooff.. Alright, suck it in Mikey. You've seen so, so much worse. The body's so old it probably won't even look like an arm anymore..

I reach behind the costume and gently rest my finger on the button, then take one last peek at the room and make sure there's no one nearby..

Feeling confident that I'm the only one in this half of the entire Pizzaplex, I fix my gaze on the bears arm, ready to get as small and as quick of a glance as possible.

...

..Alright..

- Clunk -

That bodes well~.. Figured it was possible the button stopped working after all this time.. Well hey, if nothing else, I've found myself a 'clunk' button.. Do you have a clunk button? Uh, yeah, didn't think so. Envy me.

...

Breathing steadily, I get a firm grip on the arm plate I intend to remove, and delicately begin to pull.

...

Mmm.. Ruh roh.. It could just be old, but the plate doesn't seem to be in the mood to come off..

Perhaps I got a little presumptuous in assuming that -clunk- was a good sound. Maybe that was the sound of the mechanism breaking. That'd align with how well my luck's been turning out lately..

Using my other arm to hold the bear steady, I give the arm a slightly stronger tug.

...

..Any more strength and it feels like it'll break.. Don't want that..

...

Welp. Guess it was only really a nicety anyway.. I'd better stop trying before I break something.

...

Holding in a sigh, I let go of the arm-plate and push myself to standing.

- Bonk -

Oop.

I tried to stand up, anyway.. Think my head was a little too close to the arm and I bonked this poor bear's jaw..

Rubbing my noggin, I scoot back a step and successfully rise to standing this time.

As I push myself to standing, I'm met with the discovery that the costume's entire head piece above the jaw had popped off, revealing t-|-|-.-_-.-_-.-_-.

-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.

_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_

-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.

---

-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-

-_N-o!-_-.-

N-|-o! No! Nononono..!

I spring to my feet as soon as I realize I'm in control again, fighting to see my surroundings through the gradually decaying purple.

No..! Are you fucking kidding me..?! W-What happened-?! What did I do?! Where's the body! What did I do with the suit..?!

I-I..! I couldn't afford that..! I could not afford that..! What the hell?! What did I do to th-F- These Fucking eyes! Let me see!

Fueled with dread and sheer desperation, I bring my hands up and furiously rub my eyes, ignoring the pain of trying to rub an eye with a fake metal hand. It doesn't help. I knew it wouldn't, but my mind's feeling so blinded by the pure emotion pumping every pore of my body with an uncontrollable energy, so any thought that doesn't have to do with what just happened is immediately discarded.

No, No, No, No..! What did I do..?! What if someone saw?! Who saw!? What did I do to them!?

Oh FUCK, dude..! Come on- Really?! What kind of twisted comedy short was that?! I need to-, I need to know what just happened! I don't know if there's any way of undoing what I've done, but I need to see! Now!

What if I went and found Cooper?! What if I freaked out because someone else saw the body, and thought I had to kill them too?! What if I hurt someone?! What if it was Rox?! What if it was Rox!? Please..! I can't stand around right now! I need to-! I-..! I, need-...! I... uhm..!

..Wh-?

...

...

I'm-...?

...

Finally able to get a tiny smidgen of my sight restored, I try and make sense of what inevitable bloody sight awaited me. But the more I see, the less sense it makes.

Having no choice but to stand and wait, I patiently let the purple creep away in hopes that maybe it'd offer more explanation, all the way until it fades away into the corner of my vision.

...

..Where..? Where am I?

As if to confirm that I'm not dreaming, a gentle breeze hits my face as I stare out into the endless stretch of moonlit tall-grass in front of me.

..What? Where did-.. What is this, the middle of nowhere? Did I march into a field somewhere and get lost in-?

Oh, field..! I'm..!

Whipping around, I'm finally provided something familiar to judge where I'm at with, in the form of the Pizzaplex's unmistakable neon lights shining no closer than a mile away.

Barely able to comprehend what I'm looking at, I just stop and stare for a few seconds.

I'm in the field, outside of the Pizzaplex..

..I'm-.. How did I..?

...

...

Returning to my senses, I'm able to feel a range of strange sensations; one more glaring than the rest.

I turn back around to look at the source.. And what awaits me is a fire, just big enough to fit the already charred remains of what used to be the Freddy suit.

..It's almost completely blackened, and looks like it would crumble to dust if I so much as touched it..

...

How-.. How long have I been out here..?

Still in a state of disbelief, I manage to calm down enough to think to check my watch.

...

It's 3:36.. More than an hour since I.. Lost it..

...

As the desperation seeps from my body, the hurricane in my head gradually slows to resemble more of a rainy day.

...

I'm.. In the middle of the field by the Pizzaplex.. I'm out here burning the costume with the corpse in it, like I was trying to do..

Looking down near my feet, I'm able to notice the displaced dirt and lack of grass where the fire is.. Precautions I took in order to make sure I didn't accidentally set the field on fire, even though I knew that was probably impossible at the time.. I'm able to feel a little dirt on my rear, and check behind me to find an indent where I've been sitting for who knows how long..

...

I made the fire just over a little hill, so that the light the fire produces wouldn't be visible to anyone at the Pizzaplex, or even the entire town for that matter..

...

A little bit of panic slips back into my mind as I remember the last moments before I lost it.

The head came off..! That's what the -clunk- was..! I was so confident it would be the appendages that I didn't even notice..! Damn it, I got cocky and assumed things would work the same as the animatronics from my pizzeria..!

I dramatically turn towards the fire again, trying to make out what's left of the suit.

Shoot, it caught me off guard.. I was prepared to see an arm or something, but the head was a lot of information at once.. It had decayed heavily, like I expected it too.. I think the part that got me was that I've only ever seen another decayed body in a suit before, and it was my father's.. I'm sure the phone guy and William looked nothing alike, but give them both a couple years to decay, and they might as well be indistinguishable from one another..

Damn it, what did I do..?

What happened..? Did I just drag it outside and burn it as it was? Did I care if anyone saw me? Did someone see me..?! What if they saw the suit without it's head on..! That's something I can't recover from..! If anyone saw me, I'd-...

...

It took me a while to figure out the suit's orientation with how charred it was, but now that I see it.. The head's back on..

..I put the head back on..

...

...

...

...

Slowly, I start to lower to where I was evidently sitting before I regained control..

...

..It's like a campfire..

...

My mind is buzzing, but I can't help but appreciate the beauty of what I'm looking at.

It's a full moon tonight, so there's about as much light as you can get a night.. The moonlit grass is shifting gently, and extending infinitely in front of me.. The breeze hitting my face and torso, combined with the comforting yet dangerous warmth of the fire causes a melancholic ball of calm to form in my chest, in the middle of the innumerable balls of panic and confusion..

...

...

This is new..

..I've lost it before, but all of those times I acted violently, immediately.. Twice with Freddy, now that I think about it.. The first time was when I was down in my father's cellar, and found a phial of remnant sitting on his desk while I was in a call with Fred. And the second time was also remnant related, when we managed to get that tiny trinket working and it starting secreting liquid.. The only constant between all of my episodes is that I reacted with incredible desperation and violence, dropping everything to determine what the problem object is and wipe it off the face of the Earth..

...

I didn't-, well.. I didn't 'lose it' this time.. I lost control, but..

...

..Why? What was different this time? Why didn't I destroy the corpse on the spot? I took precautions, planned carefully, and got what I needed to do done.. That's never happened before..

Maybe it's because 'lost-it me' and this me had the same goal this time..? We might've disagreed on how to go about things in the past, but this time we both wanted to destroy the suit, for the sole purpose of preventing anyone from figuring out about it.. Maybe I realized that acting rash would've dramatically increased the chances of failing our goal..

Or maybe it's because no one was around like Freddy was, so there was no compulsion to get rid of evidence immediately using any means necessary.. I don't know. That reasoning has a few holes, but so does everything else I can think of..

...

How cautious was I..? I honestly didn't think I'd have any sense of caution at all, but now that I know I did.. How far did it extend..? Did I try and avoid people?

Clearly some part of me still didn't want people to see the body, since I put the Freddy head back on.. I guess that means destroying this thing wasn't the only thing I was capable of thinking about, like I worried I was..

...

I try shifting my legs to sit cross-legged, but that only makes me feel an unfamiliar object in my pocket. One I'm fairly certain wasn't there before..

...

..A lighter.. Oh, shit...

Really? It didn't occur to me that I needed a way to 'start' the fricken' fire when I got out here? I left that up to lost-it-me?

That's not incredibly reassuring.. I'm not even sure where I would've looked to find a lighter..

...

I pull my watch up on a whim, thinking that if anyone saw me, they probably would've had something to say to me.. I doubt I was in a listening mood, so maybe someone did see me and I just didn't care at the time..

..There is a message. One, from Monty.

- No problemo! Ain't like I got much I can do with it. Still fun to wave around near Fred' though! -

...

Um..

I tap around a little more, suddenly feeling desperate to read the chat logs.

Reading the first line almost fucking kills me.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

TXT (Michael_Afton, Freddy_Fazbear, Montgomery_Gator, Glamrock_Chica, Roxanne_Wolf)

Michael: Does someone keep matches around?

Freddy: I do not. There are a few wires in my room if you are trying to light something, however.

Roxanne: Do not give that dumbass fire.

Monty: How'z 'bout a lighter?

Michael: A lighter will work. Can I come pick it up?

Monty: Ayup! In my room!

Michael: Thank you. I'll be there in a minute.

Roxanne: Don't say I didn't warn you.

Chica: Why?

Roxanne: You're giving Mike a lighter.

Chica: Mikey probly' knows how to use a lighter!

Roxanne: Mikey also suffers from chronic dumbass disease.

Freddy: Be nice..

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

About ten minutes pass before messages continue..

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

TXT (Michael_Afton, Montgomery_Gator)

Monty: I'mma be runnin' around t'night. Ya can keep it till we bump into each other again!

Michael: Thanks. I'll take care of it until then.

Monty: No problemo! Ain't like I got much I can do with it. Still fun to wave around near Fred' though!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

...

...

I don't-... I don't even know what to think about that..

...

I always thought of those lose-it moments like a wild energy-impulse until now. I really didn't think I put any brain power behind what lost-it-me was doing at all; thought I just went caveman mode and destroyed whatever it was that needed to stop existing.

..This time, I had a full interaction with multiple people. I even talked to Monty. In person.

...

And they...

...

..They didn't even notice..

...

...

That.. That's good, of course.. The alternative is that they would have noticed, which would have turned into an impossible issue to resolve.. So it's good I decided to get my shit together and go about things calmly, but..

...

That's me.. Those are interactions I had, with my friends.. And I wasn't even there for them.. I don't even have the memories..

...

Ugh.. I know it's not the same thing whatsoever, but It feels like someone used my body again.. They took it and did the things I was supposed to do..

It was my job, those were my friends..

It doesn't-... It doesn't belong to you..

...

...

..I don't know anything anymore..

With a sigh, I lower my watch and throw my arms back to support my weight.

When I do, though, my hand brushes something, and it crumples. I instinctively pull my hand away, thinking it might be a field insect or something, but..

...

It's.. A half-empty bag a chips.. A brand I recognize seeing in the office near the offloading area.

I brought snacks.

I was sitting in a field, by a fire, eating snacks.

...

What the hell? What happened to 'freak the fuck out' Mike? You're trying to tell me the same Mike that crushed a metal device in his hand completely unprovoked now instead likes to sit around a campfire and eat fuckin' wavy-lays? Talk to his friends a little? Get a laugh or two in there?

...

...

- Pompf -

I fall backward into the grass and stare into the stars.

What am I supposed to do? Laugh or cry?

Of course 'laugh'. The worst case scenario just happened, and it resulted in a better execution that this me would've been able to manage.. Something that should've gone atrocious ended up going flawlessly... But I think I'm leaning closer to 'cry'..

Thought I understood myself, but I don't.. Thought I understood Cooper, but I don't..

I can't even put why I'm feeling this way into words.. What is there to be so down about? Bruised ego? Someone had to swoop in and do a better job at being you than you are?

..It's just too much.. Today's been too much, I think that's all it is.. Maybe once I go to bed and wake up tomorrow I'll feel right as rain..

...

Will this end, at some point? Will things stop getting worse? They always do. Some miracle usually happens and everything's okay again.. Where's the miracle this time? Where's the miracle that's gonna make the article go away? And Cooper's obsession? And the steady decline of guests? And my freak-outs? And all of these god damn 'relics'?

Something's gotta give, dude.. It's starting to look like it'll be me..

...

Shouldn'tve gotten somber.. Starting to feel out-of-place again, and god knows how fucking difficult it is to shake that feeling off..

...

Welp. Life's been fun. Think I'll just lie here 'till I turn to dust or something.

...

I bring my hands up to rub my face, and feel 0% better after doing so.

Holy shit dude. If this keeps up, I might actually cry.

I do a lot of thinking about how things are gonna go and what I should do because of it, and just friggin' once I'd like for things to just go as planned.. Not 'better', not 'worse', but how I expected it to go.. Because if things get any worse, I might just lose it for good, and if I get saved by another miracle, I'll feel like nothing I ever put effort towards makes any difference.. It's just luck.

Every time something goes well, it's because I get lucky, like I just did.. My 'effort' to make things better usually backfires if I don't get lucky, like with how I thought running away would prevent Roxy from beating herself up about my arm, when it ended up tearing her a-fucking-part because she thought I ran and died somewhere..

It makes me want to stop trying. At least that way when something bad happens, it won't be because I tried with all my heart and ended up doing the wrong thing. I won't have to feel the ache of all my efforts only contributing to the problem..

..Argh, but when something good happens, it's usually because I fail to put enough effort into something, and what I failed to prevent just happens to turn out in my favor..

...

When did I get like this? What happened to the Mike that stopped at nothing to reach his father, and cleared every hurdle along the way? Where's the Mike that faced off against impossible odds and came back victorious every time because he 'had to'? I can face nightmares, demons, and abominations, but I can't deal with looking at a body? Because it resembled my father..?! Have to leave that to somebody else..?! You are a 'body', you purple fuck.. Sack up and deal with your shit..

Jesus...

...

...

...

...

Who the hell gave Monty a lighter?

...

...

I'm-..

Sigh.

I'm overthinking again.. I'm making it out to be so much worse than it actually is, and I know it.. Getting pretty tired of 'knowing it' without 'knowing how to stop it'..

..Things are okay.. I got lucky, and things are okay again.. It's okay.. I'm okay. I'm fine. I know I'm fine. I'm fine.. Everything's fine..

...

..I'm still here..

...

..No matter how much it feels like I shouldn't exist, it doesn't change the fact that I do. Even if I'm not always the one in control, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still here.. I'm still here.. No matter how many bullshit antics and laws of nature I break by continuing to exist, I'm still here.. I'm here..

..And if I'm still here, then I guess I'll keep going..

Sometimes it feels like what I do doesn't make things better, or maybe even makes things worse, but it doesn't matter.. I can't sit around and stop trying. I owe it to the kids who died for my actions. That way, even if everything I do only makes hellish scenarios worse, I can still say I tried. I can say that I didn't take this life I didn't deserve and do nothing with it. I didn't waste it. Maybe what I did made things worse, but at least I did something.

..So while I'm still here, I'll keep 'doing something'.. No matter how bad it gets, I'll 'do something'..

...

I don't know what awaits me in hell.. I don't what it's like, what happens, or if it even exists; but so help me god.. If I have tormentors waiting somewhere to punish me for the rest of eternity, then do whatever you want. Kill me. Make it hurt. Make me get scooped a thousand more times, make me re-live having my body used as a puppet over and over again, make me meet my father and let him do what he wants to me. Do whatever you want, I'll take it all, just.. Just don't tell me I didn't try.. Don't let them sit me down and tell me I wasn't trying..

I'm trying. I swear to god I'm trying.

...

God, this is so pathetic..

Please.. I don't know who's listening up there. I don't know who'd ever be willing to listen to me, but if someone is, then pleasjust.. Let the kids know, or something.. Find mom.. Find Evan, find Elizabeth, find Henry, find everyone that made up the Molten Freddy amalgamation, find all of the children, fuck- even find my father, Just.. Please find someone.. Find someone.. I don't care who it is, Just find someone, and let them know I'm trying..

I'm trying.. I am..!

I know it doesn't look like it, but I am..! I promise..! I'm-..!

..I'm.. I'm trying..

...

...

...

..Alright, I need help.. I need something.. Sitting here alone is making me think some dangerous things..

...

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

TXT (Michael_Afton, Roxanne_Wolf)

Michael: Hey. Can I drop by? Thinking myself into a pit again.

Roxanne: Almost done. What do you want?

Michael: Nothing.

Roxanne: Give me an actual answer, moron. What do you need from me?

Michael: I'm just wondering if you're up to chill.

Roxanne: Wait. Soon, but wait. Still a little time left on your present.

Michael: Oh yeah. Forgot about that. Sorry.

Roxanne: Why do you ask, anyway? Bored and feel like fucking with somebody?

Michael: Not doing so hot, that's all.

Roxanne: You're never hot.

Michael: Is that a body temperature or a looks joke?

Roxanne: First one.

Roxanne: Nevermind. Second one. That's funnier

Roxanne: How not-hot are we talking? Need wittle wolfie to wead you a bedtwime stowy?

Michael: I'm not sure what to use as reference.

Michael: I'm telling Freddy to take away your 'W' key.

Roxanne: On a scale of 1-10.

Michael: 1 meaning what and 10 meaning what?

Roxanne: Fuckin'-, I don't know? How about 1 being basically fine 10 being your usual freak-out level? Uncooperative bastard.

Michael: Oh, pff. Well then I'd be somewhere in the 16-18 range. I did have a freak-out, a particularly nasty one. I'm fine though, it just stuck with me for a little. I'll wander around for a little while until you're ready.

Roxanne: Are y

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I try gleaning any sort of meaning from Rox's incomplete message, but my watch starts to ring before I can do so.

It's the wolf. Unfortunately, I don't think I want her to see where I am right now, so I decline.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Michael: Sorry, can't call where I'm at.

Roxanne: Where are you? Get in here, right now.

Michael: What? You're busy, I can make myself useful for a few minutes in the meantime.

Roxanne: Mike, I do not care what it is you're doing. Drop it and come here.

Michael: Woah, sorry. I made it sound worse than it is. Nevermind, I'm alright.

Roxanne: Stop. Come here.

Michael: Is the present done? Rox, I can wait a little.

Roxanne: Holy shit Mike, I'm not asking. Get over here.

Michael: Alright, alright. I'm coming, but it's gonna be about ten minutes. Pretty far away.

Roxanne: If you are not in front of me in ten minutes, I swear to fucking god, you'll never see the light of day again.

Michael: It really isn't as catastrophic as you're making it out to be. Nothing's wrong, I just got bummed.

Roxanne: Stop saying that. Are you absolutely sure it's going to be about ten minutes?

Michael: Yeah. If not a minute or two longer. Might've lowballed it.

Roxanne: Maybe your present'll be ready when you get here, then. So don't wait for that. Get your ass over here right this frickin' instant.

Michael: Coming.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Think I worded it worse than I intended.. I'm a little fucked up at the moment, but it's not like an extra ten minutes of waiting would've killed me. Hell, I might be over it in ten minutes anyway.

...

I lift my head from the grass , shambling up enough to stare at the distant Pizzaplex.

Shouldn'tve said ten minutes.. It's gonna take a couple minutes to get to Roxy's room from the entrance to the Pizzaplex, and I still have to cross at least a mile of field..

...

Welp. Internet says the standard mile-time is 9-10 minutes.. Let's see if I can't make an eight minute mile; give that ego of mine a little boost.

..Wonder if 9-10 minutes accounts for running across a field..

---

Hey~! Check my shit out! Made it in the high 7 minutes area!

You know what that means?!

It means I don't have a good measure of distance.

Anyway.. Still need to get from the entrance to Roxy's room, but y'know. Think I can walk it anyway. Don't wanna be too early and ruin her surprise.

...

That felt pretty good, if I'm being honest with you.. I still avoid going out into public unless I have a good reason to, so I spend most of my time indoors. I need to run somewhere from time to time, but it doesn't really spark anything in me when I'm running from one part of a building to the next. It was definitely something about doing it outside that made the whole experience.

..I've joked about this thought a lot, but maybe I really should start exercising from time to time.. It never really appealed to me before, since I was pretty sure my body was incapable of receiving the benefits of doing so anyway.. If I really thought that to be true, though, then I probably wouldn't be putting as much thought into what I eat as I have been.

If my body's able to be effected by the calories and junk food I eat, then it wouldn't make any sense for it not to register the exercise that I do.

Remnant's gradual healing effect has done a good job at fattening me up back to what a normal-skinny person would look like.. It's certainly better than the near actual-skeleton I was before.

Can't really explain why I feel the need to watch what I eat at this point; It's not like I need to stay mobile enough to out-perform murder robots anymore.. I can eat as happily and get as large as I want, and I'd still be able to do my job just as effectively as I do now.

..Tell you what, maybe it's just a side-result of watching what I eat for reasons other reasons.. There's tons of food out there that's just plain frickin' awful for you in ways other than calories or weight-gain. Pretty sure I only watch what I eat because if I don't, there's the chance I could get actually sick or truly unhealthy from it. That would effect my performance, without a doubt. So, I'm careful about what I eat because I don't want to get sick, and the foods I avoid for that reason just so happen to be the same ones that would effect my weight.

..Unfortunately, those foods also happen to be frickin' delicious sometimes, so, I mean.. Having something absolutely horrible for me a couple times a month couldn't hurt.. Not to mention Roxy's new fascination with food outside the Pizzaplex. Think the first thing I ever got her was a fast-food burger, simply because it was convenient at the time. So, think I unintentionally imprinted fast-food on her pretty hard, 'cause now she asks for it fairly often.

And, I mean.. If I'm hitting up a drive-thru, I can't just not get something for myself..

That's a lie. I can totally not get something for myself. It's as simple as keeping my yap shut for twelve seconds. I just, y'know.. Can't.

...

..Hehe.. Chubby wolf..

...

Oh hey, 'wolf'.. Gonna be talking to her pretty soon.. Think I need to make a final decision on what I intend to tell her..

...

My head falls back a bit while I think, as if the ceiling is any less distracting than the halls I'm walking through.

..Maybe I shouldn't be dreading this.. Maybe this is finally an opportunity to take a couple steps toward making myself better..

What will I need to tell her for that to happen though?

..As much as I do, honest to god, trust Roxanne.. I just can't tell her everything, not yet.. That's too much information for one wolf to ingest in one night..

...

'I trust her not to tell anyone.' That's what I mean when I say I trust her in this specific scenario. I flat-out trust her in general, of course; I don't mean I trust her with something but not with others..

The reason I say this is because there might be a couple ways Roxy could response to some of the worse stuff; responses that aren't dependent on if she 'trusts' me or not.

..If I were to tell her everything, I'm scared she'd get.. Extremely repulsed..

'Yeah, so, I had this brother right? Evan was his name. He had a heart of gold, which was rare in the family. Heck, he was probably the best person out of all of us. Pretty cool huh? Yeah, anyway, made his life a living hell. He didn't deserve it or anything. I just hated my father, so I made his life completely intolerable at every turn. I mean utterly unlivable. He had one crippling fear and I abused the fuck out of it, irreparably securing that he would live the rest of his life being unable to recover from that fear. Don't worry though, he couldn't live the rest of his life anyway. I killed him. On his birthday. During his party. And I don't mean 'I tripped him and whoops, it ended up doing fatal damage' or anything normal like that. I mean I picked him up in my arms and shoved him into an animatronics mouth until it crushed his head. Scary right? Hey, wanna watch another movie?'

It doesn't have to be a matter of trust. If I told somebody that, they'd hate me. Not because they don't trust me, but because what I did was a fucking vile thing for someone to do.

So.. Yeah, think I'll hold of on a couple things like that.. There are a few more small bits I feel inclined to exclude, but none of them are particularly noteworthy.

Think that leaves me with the question: What can I tell Rox that both avoids all the information I still want to withhold, while also being important enough that saying it would result in potential for me to get better? If I try skimming by and getting away with telling her as little as possible, it would defeat the purpose of why I'm telling her anything in the first place.

Hmm..

...

...

Alright, so here's what I'm thinking..

The reason I'm telling Roxanne 'anything' is because there's information I hide that's eating at me, or in some other way causing my overthinking fits to occur. So in order for things to get better, whatever I tell her has to offer some explanation towards both why I'm reluctant to share, and why it eats at me.

So, what are the reasons I'm reluctant to share? And why does the information eat at me?

As for the first thing: I've dedicated my post-father life to keeping the information I know a secret, because I believe that if this information were to get out, it could cause some dreaded consequences to occur. Most frightening is the 'doomsday scenario', which is where someone obsessed with the mysteries around Freddy's gets a hold of the knowledge I have, and find it fascinating enough to inspire them to become a copy-cat killer. These occurrences wouldn't be frequent, I'm aware of that, but it would mean that my father's ability to cause heartbreak and devastation indirectly through others would continue on for an indeterminate amount of time; potentially forever. After spending my entire life trying to end his reign of terror for good, seeing it spread across the world in a way that I have absolutely zero control over might be enough to actually drive me insane.

So, that's why it's a secret.. If I shave off the pieces of information I want to withhold from that paragraph I get something like:

If the things I'm reluctant to talk about become public knowledge, a lot of incredibly bad things would suddenly have the potential to happen, and there would be nothing I could do to stop it. In keeping this information to myself, I can ensure that a whole category of tragedies will never have the ability to occur.

If I want to tell her that, then I'd also need to give her the information that could inspire people to do bad things, or at the very least explain why it would inspire people. In order for Roxanne to be able to help, she needs to be able to understand. This is the part where I'd have to share some 'forbidden knowledge'. I'd need to tell Roxy something that could help her understand why it's so important that no one else knows. It can't be about me, or anyone else I knew, 'cause that would tie me to the tragedies directly. So if it can't be about me, the only other option would be to talk about something that isn't me: Freddy's.

..What I'm thinking about telling her is how the animatronics in the past had murderous tendencies. I can't get into why, but by telling her that the robots killed people, it'd provide her with a reason why I need to keep my mouth shut about it. Roxanne knows about the rumors, as well as how popular they were back then. If I tell her that the murderous ones are true, then she'd immediately understand that if someone else figured this out, it would spread like a wildfire.

Not entirely sure how I'm gonna connect that thought with why it might influence people to do bad things.. I'll figure it out..

Alright.

Now as for the reason the information eats at me:

..This is gonna be the most difficult part to explain to her.. Even more so than the murderous animatronics..

There isn't nearly as much wiggle room with answering this question, compared to the last one. I can be as vague as I want when explaining why I'm reluctant to share these things with people. All I really need to say is that 'if people know, bad things might happen', and then use any of the rumors that have accumulated around Freddy's over time to demonstrate how quickly the information would spread if it were to leak. I really got to pick and choose my favorite bits there. I can't do that when explaining why it eats at me personally..

There's really only one reason: I was involved. Telling them anything else would be a lie.

No matter how you look at it, the only reason any of these tragedies and rumors could have any meaningful effect on me is if I was directly related to them in some way. That's just something I'm gonna have to disclose, no way around it..

Unfortunately, I'm not even able to stop there..

Gotta keep in mind that by the time I'm explaining this to wolfie, I'll have already told her about the animatronic's 'quirks'. Roxanne-, hell everyone knows that I've spent my entire adult life working as a night-guard at these pizzeria's. If I'm going to tell her the animatronics attacked the night-guards, then I'm going to have to explain why I willingly decided to continue being a night-guard at (almost) every single one of the locations.

Even if I didn't explain it to her, Rox's gonna realize pretty damn quick that there's a connection between me and the horrible events surrounding the animatronics if I willingly threw myself at them time and time again. A connection that goes wayyy beyond 'I was directly related to them in some way'.

I'll not only be proving that there's a connection, but by willingly putting myself in harms way, I'll also be proving what kind of connection it was.

I'll be proving that it was a matter of 'responsibility'.

If I was effected by the animatronics or tragedies in any way, it would make sense for me to try veering away from Freddy's at every opportunity. But I didn't. I kept coming back.

..If someone purposefully 'comes back' to something they hate, it's either because they had no choice.. Or they're trying to deal with it..

Roxanne already knows I 'hate' something about my information, since I have those fits of overthinking that send me into a temporary depression.. And by telling her it's something about Freddy's, where I worked as a night-guard time and time again, I'll be proving that I 'came back' to it.. I don't think I'm gonna be able to make a case for 'having no choice', so the only option remaining is that I returned for the sake of 'dealing' with it.

...

To be honest.. If I had the choice, I'd try to exclude that part as well..

That's not an option this time around, though. It falls within the boundaries of 'information I need to disclose'. If I didn't tell her this, Roxy still wouldn't know why the troubling information I give her has any reason to eat at me.. One way or the other, a connection between me and these events needs to be made..

...

..I think I'm gonna try and stop there.. Maybe I'll try and sprinkle in a couple juicy details about how I was the one who burnt down Fazbear Frights or something, but if I can help it, that's where the talk is gonna stop.. Treading further in any direction is where the waters start to get just a little too deep..

...

..To be honest, I'm not as 'chill' with disclosing all this as I was hoping to be by now..

It's scary.. It feels like I'm doing something wrong just thinking about it.. Even now, different corners of my brain are screaming at me for so much as suggesting the idea that I should tell anybody anything..

Part of me wants to turn around and hide, and another part wants to bury everything I know in a furious uproar of flame..

However, most of me is ready for this to happen.. 'Cause I trust her..

Need to keep reminding myself of that.. I trust Roxanne.. She trusts me, and it's way past time for me to repay the favor.. She's proved how seriously she takes this issue of mine, time and time again..

..Roxy won't tell anyone.. She understands, so she won't tell anyone.. Rox won't tell anyone.. I need to believe that..

...

...

Head's getting fuzzy again.. The longer the day goes on, the less thinking it takes for my brain to clutter..

This is it though.. If I can get in and out of Roxanne's room without saying something stupid, I'll be done. My duties today will be finished, and all I have to do is sit around, watch a movie, and go to bed.

...

I take my first few steps into Rockstar Row; once again entranced by how deceptively peaceful it can be in here.

...

..Bbbeeeedddd.. There's a pleasant thought.. I'd do fuckin' anything for this day to be over..

A lot of what I thought I 'knew' today has been questioned.. And as evidenced by my monologue by the fire, it's started to scratch a few layers off my self-worth..

..Always thought 'thinking' is what I was good at.. Back in the old pizzeria's, I had to be on my toes and notice patterns as quickly as humanly possible. My survival depended on my ability to think logically. Constantly needed to think through every possible thing the animatronics could be doing, so I wouldn't need to waste the time and resources to check. My survival in the Frights was due to my ability to get into my father's head and work through what he's thinking. My survival in the trap pizzeria required me to recall everything I noticed about the animatronic's tendencies, and figure out how they could be exploited to increase my chances. The only things I had to defend myself was a flashlight, a questionable audio lure, and the ability to turn off a frickin' computer.

Maybe I got arrogant.. Maybe I thought I was 'smart' or something because I was able to fend off animatronics with the processing power of friggen cavemen.

..Sigh..

If thinking really is my strong-suit, then I wouldn't be skulking around after learning everything I was confident about proved incorrect.. Hell, multiple times today I've had a achy, fuzzy head from 'thinking' too much; which sounds okay, until you learn that everything I was 'thinking' was completely and utterly wrong..

I'm actually hurting myself from thinking up too many idiotic misconceptions.

I'm literally so stupid that it hurts.

..No friggen' wonder I've been unable to think of ways to resolve the declining customer count.. My only competition is an old insane drunk and his partner who's too occupied keeping the old-timer from killing himself to worry about this, and I still haven't been able to think of any ideas smarter than theirs..

...

Is that really it? Am I really just a fucking idiot? Is that all it is?

I stumble around everywhere, randomly having 'overthinking' fits, while nothing that ever surfaces from my time thinking' up is worth it's weight in dirt?

I'm constantly having to remind myself that things are completely fine, because I always start to lose it for no fricken' reason. And when things really aren't fine, I have literally nothing to say about it.

Even-.. Even earlier tonight, Cooper dumped the most imperative, mind-boggling, least-okay information I've heard in my entire life.. Information that literally told me that Roxanne's life was in danger at one point.. A problem I absolutely cannot ignore and hope gets better. It needs to be dealt with right away, indisputably.

..And I didn't do a single thing about it..?! I just stood there? Watched him march off? Decided to let the problem continue? What if he gets another whim to try reprogramming one of the gang? Would I do anything about that..?!

Ugh-, when something really is wrong, I don't do anything about it..! Only when a problem's already been dealt with and everything's been taken care of do I decide to freak the fuck out. Like at the fire out in the field..!

God forbid there's an actual problem sitting right in front of me, though. Hope someone comes along and takes control of my body or something, 'cause I won't do a fucking thing to help otherwise..

'I'm trying' my ass..

Friggin'..

...

...

...

I am trying.. I am..

..I'm not good at it yet, but..

...

..Damn it, could you hold off on this for fourteen more seconds?

I shake the thoughts from my head, looking back up and fixating on Roxanne's door.

It's right there.. Just chill out for a few more seconds and we'll be alright.. Just gotta tell her a few things, then it's over..

Come on, Mikey.. You trust her, I know you do..

...

- Pshh -

Oh, wh..?

Still about half the corridor away, Roxanne's door seems to open prematurely. The one who makes their way out of the wolf's room is none other than the Fazbear himself, dismissively waving to whoever else is in there as he's leaving.

It doesn't take long for bear to notice me, and our paths cross soon after.

"You said I couldn't do it~." Freddy sings, which is incredibly unsettling to hear from a creature like him..

"..'I' said you couldn't do it?" I repeat, the two of us taking our final steps and making it to a normal conversation distance.

"You were confident no one could do it."

"..No one could do what?"

A heartwarming, though slightly mischievous grin is the response I get to my question.

"Roxanne had given me special permission to work on something of yours. I believe you have a gift waiting for you inside." Freddy cheerily elaborates, pointing over his shoulder towards the wolf's room.

"Work on something of 'mine'?" I question again, peering past him towards the room, as if that would give me any sort of insight towards what he's talking about.

"That's right. Perhaps I should have gotten permission to touch your belongings beforehand, but I'm sure you'll be satisfied with our work."

"Oh god. My laptop.."

Freddy chuckles, though doesn't confirm nor deny.

"Tell you what. If you don't mind, I'll poke my head in as soon as I'm done putting everything away in my greenroom; just to be sure that everything is working properly." Freddy lifts his shoulder a little, bringing attention to the various small tools in his hands and under his arms. "In the meantime, go on in and get a peek."

"Does it still work?"

"I like to think so."

That's a terrifying answer.

"Alright, well.. I'll go scope out the damage.." I respond with a nervous chuckle of my own, already taking a step towards the door.

"You'll have to tell me what you think. It wasn't an easy-, Oh..! Michael, Do me a favor..!"

By the time I turn around to address him, Freddy's already sticking a wrench out in my direction.

The thing's kinda funny lookin'.. It's like it's modeled specifically to look like a wrench you'd see in a cartoon..

"Sure.. Do I take it?" I ask, already grasping and pulling at the tool.

"Just back to Roxanne's room. Forgot for a moment that this one wasn't mine.."

"Oh. Sure, yeah. Easy enough.."

Guess that kinda makes sense.. This thing's a little large for the tiny tinkering Freddy likes to do. It's no surprise Roxy had one laying around though, what with her whole 'mechanic' quirk and all.

"I appreciate it."

"It's four seconds of work."

"Maybe, but four seconds of work you weren't expected to do nonetheless."

It is of literally zero inconvenience for me to do this. I'm taking it sixty feet away, to the same place I was going anyway.

"Whatever you say, big guy."

"Don't keep Roxanne waiting. Woman got noticeably antsy over the course of the last few minutes, and refuses to elaborate on it.." Freddy snickers, which is yet another unusual thing for him to do. "I get the feeling she's simply nervous about handing you a gift, however.. It's not something she does often; you've left an impression on her."

I huff.

"That's a nice thought."

Freddy manages to give me a single pat on the shoulder from what I thought to be an un-pat-able distance, then continues to trek to his room.

...

That's pretty interesting..

I turn around and keep walking as well, looking down at the wrench in my hand.

This thing's pretty damn hefty.. Undoubtedly as a result of exaggerating it's proportions to make it seem as bulky as the wrenches in cartoons.. Still made of metal though, which leads me to believe that it was still made with the intention of being usable.

'Practical' might be a different issue.. I don't see there being many ways to maneuver this chonker around the insides of a vehicle..

...

Roxanne got Freddy's help with making a gift for me.. I doubt those two hang out with each other very much, so it's an interesting scenario to try visualizing in my head.

A great majority of the tools used obviously ended up being Freddy's, since he's got a better tool-set and skill-set for working on smaller contraptions, such as a computer.

A breathy snicker escapes my throat as I try to imagine Roxanne using the big-ass wrench in my hands to try working on my laptop.

...

Really, reeeally hope that thing is still okay.. Freddy seems confident that it is, but I'm not entirely sure that Freddy knows the difference between a malfunctioning computer and a working one.

..Well, that's probably not true. There needed to be some understanding for him to have made these watches.. Hell, there are a few things that I can't figure out how he made work in these things..

It's endearing either way. Can't remember the last time someone-

- H_ _e_! _ey! _y w_, _a_ _ur..! I k_e_ _u co_ _ it.. -

Oop-

As I reach the edge on Roxanne's curtained window, an unfamilliar, barely-audible sound emanates from her room.

It admittedly takes me a little off guard, so I freeze in place to try and hear over my footsteps.. Just about any sound coming from her room shouldn't be audible at all. The greenrooms are damn near soundproof, and whatever I heard didn't seem to be very loud..

I take a few seconds to look around, and see that the wall opposite of the one Rox's door is one is slightly discolored from light creeping from another source.

Oh, her door's open..

...

- _, _y li_n. I m_ _ _e a_u_ _ s_d _u a _ss_ t_r_... -

...

The door didn't close when Freddy walked out for some reason.. Maybe it just bugged? Or maybe the steam being released somewhere in the walls is finally starting to have a consequence..

..I try my best to make out the sound, but I'm not close enough.. I think someone's talking, but it's so quiet that I'm not able to form the sounds they're making into words..

- bang, bang, bang -

I sure as hell heard that.. That wasn't a voice.. It was quiet though.

...

Maybe someone else helped with the gift as well; someone else who has knowledge of computers, like Trudge. That'd make sense; I haven't seen Trudge around today.

If that's the case, should I come in yet? Maybe it'd be a good idea to wait for everyone to leave.. That way I'd know Roxanne has the gift completely and utterly ready to present.

..Despite my internal conflict, sheer curiosity draws me a couple silent steps closer to the door.

...

- It's _n _ _d n_t _e_, _r m_.. Uh, I_ _da gl_ I _r_ed _ _ssa_ fo_ _u, _h, _n I di_.. -

...

Getting closer isn't helping as much as I thought it would.. It's hard to hear what they're saying over the incessant banging obscuring their voice.

..That doesn't really sound like Trudge, though.. It's deeper, and grainier.. Monty?

Please don't let Monty touch my computer.

...

- _, _o me a favor. -

...

In a brief respite from the clunking sound, I'm able to catch most of a sentence.

..I'm not sure I recognize that voice.. Is someone else here?

Who else would have any reason to be here..? Maybe Cooper called someone in for some repairs to everyone's greenroom? That's the only explanation I can think of that covers both the mysterious voice and the obnoxious-ass banging..

Part of me wants to write that possibility off, because surely Cooper would tell me something like this.. But no, not really.. With Cooper in the state that he's in, forgetting to tell the night-guard that someone's coming at night to do some work aligns pretty damn well with what I'd expect him to do..

...

- _yb_ s_e_me.. Y_ _d ch_ _s_e _ose suits? In _ b_ck_o_m..? -

...

..Was that something about a suit..?

Someone who knows about the suits from today..? The van driver..?

...

This is getting a little dumb..

You know what? Screw it. Roxanne told me to come as soon as I could, and I'm probably not doing her very much justice sitting right outside like this. Plus, I'm feeling obligated to know what's happening in the building, as the only security guard.

Deciding to cut the sneaky-act, I stop doing this wildly conspicuous crouching thing I was doing, and adjust the collar of my shirt to look presentable before finally taking these last couple steps.

...

..Suits..

...

- _'m _nna tr_ a_d ho_ out, until somebody checks.. May_e it won't _e so bad.. -

...

No.

No.

Without warning, the obnoxious banging that was only a soft distraction to ignore now shakes my entire body with every collision; and the grainy voice tears through my brain like a bullet, shredding everything in it's path until it reaches the part of my head that holds the memory of where I once heard this man speak.

...

- I-I always wondered what was in all those empty heads..! Back there.. Y'know- -

...

I know this call by heart. I know exactly what he says. I know exactly what and when when everything happens.

I know that right after this, a music box plays.

Then shortly after, the banging stops.

Then shortly after, an barely-human moan.

And then

...

- Oh, no.. -

...

I know what happens next, too. I know it more than I know anything else.

It's a memory that's stuck with me for my entire life. One I can hear in my dreams, nightmares, or even sleepless nights. Even now, the vivid memory of that inhuman wail is playing through my mind on loop; waiting for the moment I hear the real thing with my own ears once more.

I know what happens next. Don't know if I'm ready for it, but I know what happens next.

...

...

But the worst part is, even after all this build-up and anticipation, I don't even get to hear it.

Hell knows I'm not the one in control when it finally h-app-|-en-|-|-s-|-|-|-

-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.

_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_

-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.

---

...

Oh- woah that was quick; what just happened?

I'd prepared myself to be lost for a few minutes, but it.. That clearly isn't the case.. I'm not even two feet from where I was standing a minute ago. It's like I blinked, and now I'm back, staring off into space.

..Or-, no.. Staring at-

Oh.

Before I can even make out my surroundings, there are a couple red flags with how I'm positioned.

I have a hand on the rim of Roxanne's door, and it looks like I was halfway through taking a lunging step into her room.

My other hand is outstretched in front of me, pointed slightly downwards; like I'm trying to give a handshake..

...

Oh shit.

..Yeah, like I'm trying to handshake somebody, with my fingers unfurled.. No longer holding the wrench.

Already having an idea of what happened causes the scene in front of me to snap together all at once.

Roxanne's room. With the floor littered with small pieces of shrapnel, with one big soot-looking chunk of metal in the middle, which I assume must be what's left of the phone..

There's a shockingly large dent in the wall I'm facing, accompanied by the offending wrench laying haphazardly on the floor.

..I must have fucking wailed that thing if I turned a phone into what's now a black stain.. Threw it hard enough to obliterate the phone, and bungle up the entire back wall with the rebound. Even the mirror fell off the wall. Doesn't look like it broke though, so that's goo-

Roxanne.

The thought crosses my mind at the very same instant I see her.

...

...

There is zero movement between us. Pretty sure neither of us are even breathing.

Roxy was sitting cross legged on the floor, right in front of the phone. Though now she had to fall back a little and catch herself with her arms after I turned the 'gift' she and Freddy prepared for me into a shrapnel grenade.

Our eyes locked, hard. Both of us look crazed. The only person on the planet who's gone paler than Roxy is yours truly, and neither of us are very appealing to look at.. I just ran a mile, had an unnecessary depressive episode, and am now frozen in a near-lunge halfway into Roxanne's room.

I don't specifically know what Roxy's been doing for the last couple hours, but I imagine her disheveled hair and clothes littered with tiny rips are a result of exploding the fucking phone she was not even a foot away from.

We're staring at each other with saucer eyes, but both of our irises are glazed over. Like it hasn't fully settled in what just happened.

...

..Only now starting to fully comprehend that I just practically caused a bomb to go off in her lap..

As soon as I do, part of me immediately wants to go make sure she's okay. It's a strong impulse, but evidently not strong enough to risk trying to move. Neither of us have so much inhaled since we saw each other, but there's a lot to read from her unchanging expression.

I imagine I'm staring at her a lot like she is.. I've already mentioned that we've both gone pale. Our jaws are hung ever so slightly open, and neither of us dare to even blink.

..Did I hurt her? There's so much that expression could mean, I still haven't deciphered it all.. I clearly messed up her room pretty bad, and just obliterated the 'gift' her and Freddy have been working on.. I'd be looking at her in disbelief too if she walked into my office and turned my phone into a smoldering pile of plastic..

The more I think about what I've just done, the more the urge to start profusely apologizing starts to swell.. That entire wall is fucked. There's metal everywhere, and the wrench's collision with the floor was enough to knock over just about everything on her desk that wasn't nailed down.

..The longer I look at her, the worse it feels.. Really? I just marched in here and trashed everything with one motion of the arm? Of course Roxy'd be looking at me like I was some sort of.. uh-, like I'm... I'm...

...

...

...

She isn't staring at me because I threw the wrench.

A chill colder than anything I've ever felt travels down the length of my spine, and a hollowing dread I could never even begin to describe sickly swallows my entire upper chest.

It almost kills me to realize that I went this long without thinking about the message. That god forsaken message.

..She couldn't have just skipped to the fourth one.. I really, really don't want this to be the case, but I'm positive she managed to listen to all of them.. Excluding the fifth one..

T..That's bad.. This is-.. This is bad..

R-Roxanne is-.. She knows.. It told her.. She knows.

...

The reality continues to set in, and it's enough to crush my soul.

She knows. Someone knows.. F..For years, my only goal was to make sure no one knows..

Roxanne k-.. knows. She knows..

S-Someone knows..

E..Even if I was coming here to let her 'know' in the first place, I-I had no idea it would feel like this..

...

S-Someone-.. Someone knows.

Every time I repeat it to myself, it feels just as unbelievable as the first time.

This is it. This is what I was trying to prevent. My only goal was to prevent this from happening.

And it's happening, right in front of me. The damage is already done, there's nothing left I can do.

I failed.

...

Suddenly, the distantly familiar feeling of an old phenomenon occurs. One I never thought would happen again.

The perfectly still image in front of me briefly turns vibrant. Every single color and pattern in Roxanne's fur sticks out to me more obviously than it's ever done before. Every bump, corner, and curve of the room we're in seems blindingly obvious, but only for a moment.

It imprinted.

Like how I could conjure up a near photographic layout of Freddy's pizzeria in the dark. This image in front of me caused enough of an emotional reaction that, even just standing here, I can recall every minute detail of the room in front of me at will.

...

I was confident something like this would never happen again.. It's not a reaction exclusive to me; when anyone experiences a scene that stands out so unbelievably much, for any reason, it's like the brain burns what you're looking at into your memory forever. It's not the same as PTSD, but how the brain becomes capable of reliving a scene works similarly.

There's two reasons this has happened to me in old Freddy's locations.. Reason one is if I found what I was looking at so truly, wildly important that my brain automatically chooses to reserve it to memory..

Or the second reason..: when I was in moments of monumental stress.

I thought it'd never happen again because.. Because what are the chances that anything outside of a soul-bearing abomination could incite as much importance or raw emotion in me for either of those 'requirements' to be met again?

Well 'this' does.. It doesn't even fill one of those requirements, it fills both.

Everything I've ever done has been for the sake of keeping these secrets to myself, and now, someone just figured it all out right in front of me. Not only that, but that 'person' is..She's the person I care about more than anyone else..

Roxanne, the only one I'd be willing to do truly anything for , is staring at me like I'm a Freak.

...

Every second that passes only contributes to the desperation growing in my chest, and the whirlwind tearing my brain apart.

..My head's getting fuzzy..

...

...

..No-, y'know what?

No. Calm down. Think for a second.

Stop. Things are alright. Things are still okay.

This.. This is fine.. Everything she just learned is within' the boundaries of what I was coming here to tell her anyway, right? Rox doesn't know everything yet, I'm just freaking out over nothing again.

It just happened all at once. She's just overloaded 'cause she learned it all at once. So it's okay.. I just need to..

..I just need to tell her that-.. First, I just need to tell her that what she just learned is what I was already planning tell her.. That way she knows it isn't as life-changing as she thinks it is..

...

Without realizing it, we've both stopped holding our breath.

We're still entirely still otherwise, but at least we're going somewhere.

Think we're still in a bit of shock though.. Each breath is heavy, and incredibly slow. They aren't loud, but air around us is still dead-silent; enough for us to hear each other's breath.

...

Something needs to happen. I need to do something. Right now.

Every second I stare at her like a deer in headlights is another step towards what could be a devastating reaction from Rox. I need to say something.

...

...

I feel the thoughts motivate my brain into action.. But even the idea of 'moving' seems completely unthinkable.. Like if I move and break the atmosphere, the entire fabric of reality would fall apart.

That's not true though. I know it isn't. So I need to say something, right now. It can only go up from here. Just.. Say something..

...

...

Fuckin-..!

Say something..!

Holy shit, I know what I want to say..! All I need to do is blurt out that I was gonna tell her this stuff anyway..! We'll figure it out from there, but just..! Do something..!

...

Say something..

...

...

I'm awarded a very small wash of relief when my body finally moves, slowly dragging the lunged leg back towards me to reset to a regular standing position.

It's so hard. The atmosphere is like physically standing in a pool of hardening cement. Every time I move, it feels like I'm breaking the laws of nature.

...

..Gradually, my feet find themselves together again, and I lower my outstretched arm.

Then fix my upper-body posture..

...

..I'm stalling.. Look-, it doesn't matter if I'm standing up straight or not, alright? Just say something..

...

Then, using the arm on the rim of Roxanne's door for added support..

..I stumble a step back.

...

And then another..

...

And then another..

Where am I going?

...

Where am I going..?!

...

I'm barely able to comprehend the scene in front of me.

It took forever to scrape up the courage to move, and I'm choosing to use that energy I fought for to back away?!

Slowly, with second-long intervals between them, I'll retreat one step further. Roxanne and I's gazes still locked with the force of a thousand chains.

...

What's happening..!? What the fuck do you think you're doing!?

...

I didn't lose control again, did I? This is still me moving around, right..?!

...

...

It-..

...

It is me. It's me.. I'm doing this. I can feel the signals run from my brain to my legs. I know I'm doing this.. It just didn't click why..

...

I.. I know what's happening..

...

My.. My mind was too jumbled to notice at the time, but with every step, I can feel it just a little bit more. My body won't listen to my brain 'cause I'm-..

...

Because I'm terrified.

...

I-, this is it.. This is the scenario I've spend my life trying to avoid, so I never even put any thought towards what I would do if I failed to avoid it..

..I don't know..

I don't know what to do.. I don't know what to do. I have no fucking idea what to do now, and it horrifies me.

There's no plan, no expectation, no preconception, no guesses; this scenario is entirely new.

...

Wh.. What do I do?

Wh-What am I supposed to do..?! How do I make this better..?! A-Am.. Am I going to be okay? Will things turn out okay..?! I-

- Pshh -

Roxanne's door closed. I walked far away enough from the door that it closed, severing the eye contact.

..It's like it doesn't even make a difference though.. It's like we're still staring at each other..

...

Even though I'm alone in the corridor, I still continue recede every now and again; as if distance could possibly make this situation better.

...

..N..No, it's f-fine..

I do know what to do, just.. I-I just need to talk to her.. I can-.. I can make things better, I just-.. I need to think..

...

...

It-.. It hurts..

Every seconds that passes, the thoughts rushing through my mind only further obscure any chance I had at clear coherent thought, but..

I-It can't-.. It can't be that way, I need to think.. Right now, more than ever, I just-.. I need to think..

I..I've been through so much worse.. This-.. This should be nothing.. I c-can't just do everything I did to kill my father, then get defeated by the concept of b-.. Basic interaction..

I-It isn't hard.. It's not, just-.. O..Open your mouth, say the thing.. Things will get better, I just-.. I need to think about what to say, and-

Whoop..?!

...

I accidentally backed into one of the displays..

Nothing fell over or broke, it's just.. Really? This is the state I'm in..? Can't even look where I'm going?

...

..It was small, but that was just enough of a distraction to give me footing over myself..

No, it's okay. Things are okay. It's as simple as talking to her; she'll understand.. I just need to tell her that this is what I was planning to tell her anyway, and it'll get easier from there.. That's all I have to do.. I'm just freaking out over nothing again; I'll look back on this and think about how stupid it was to panic over-

- Pshh -

All the confidence I'd built up to that point crumbles into a bloodstained dust.

In an instant, we're back in the same scenario. Roxy stumbled out of her door, our eyes locked, and now we're frozen again.

...

...

Taken aback by her sudden emergence, the old habit I'd just gotten over starts to resurface.

My brain conjures up just the tiniest amount of courage to help me out of this situation, and my body uses all of it to retreat just a little bit further.

And so, I take another slow and steady step back.. And the scariest, most horrifying scenario I could ever imagine happens in response.

Roxanne takes a step forward.

I can do nothing but watch as Roxy builds up the courage to push this interaction onward, before I can.

..Her face hasn't changed much.. Still pale, eye's are still wide and glazed, mouth is hanging ever so slightly open.. But the first action she takes is filled with a discernible emotion.

Rox meekly lifts a finger in my direction. Like she's accusing me.

...

"Who was in that suit?"

I'm barely able to make out her words before their meaning hit me like a sack of bricks.

The suit..! The fucking suit-!, how did I forget about that..?!

Even if I had told her what I was originally planning to say, she still would've had all the information she needs to figure out that suit had a body in it..! I would've just let that happen..!

This is entirely unacceptable. Something needs to happen. I need something to happen right now. There's no time anymore - Now or never, Michael. Make your choice.

...

"I-I.. Listen, that.. What you heard is what-.. It's what I was coming to tell you about anyway, r-.. Remember?"

That was the most pathetic sentence I've ever said, and it took an amount of effort that I could never put into words.

"Who was in that suit?"

Roxanne only repeats herself. Her body language suggests she acknowledged my comment, but ultimately tossed it aside for more important matters.

That? That sentence was the result of all the effort I spent? That's the best I could do?

I..I need more. There needs to be a conversation. Things need to be talked about.

I-It's okay.. I trust you - I need to convince myself of that now more than ever..

...

"It was a body, wasn't it? There was a corpse in that suit."

She's answering her questions herself, and it's not doing me any favors.. At least she stopped pointing..

"Y..Yeah.."

"The animatronics killed people."

"Y...Ye-"

"They tried to kill you. They were trying to kill you."

Despite how clean Roxanne's words are coming out, she's still flabbergast.. Her statements are breathy, and low-volume; but hold the weight of the world behind them.

"...They-.."

"They killed him. He fucking died, because the robots killed him."

"L-..Listen, it's-.. I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, b.. but you can understand why I..?"

I fail to finish the rest of my sentence, and my mind starts to buzz even harder.

There's a way to defuse this situation. There's a way to make it all okay again, I know there is, but I-.. God-, My damn head..! I can't think..!

"I.. I touched it, Michael. I thought it was just a stupid fucking suit."

"It-.. It's o-okay, he was dead for.. A long time and-"

"Someone was in there, Mike?"

Roxanne asks desperately, though damn well knowing the answer.. She wasn't the type to get disturbed by deaths before, but it's an entirely different story when the corpse wasn't even ten feet from you, and the murderers are the same creatures you were built to resemble.

My body is screaming at me not to answer her, but I need to.

It's.. It's fine, I can trust her. I know this.. I can trust Roxanne..

"..Yeah, it-.. Someone was.."

"Was it him?"

It takes me way, way too long to answer that question. It's incredibly obvious that Roxy's referring to the phone guy, but my mind's buzzing so bad that doing any amount thinking is a near impossibility.

"Phone-.. The guy on the phone, yeah, probably.."

"THEY, fucking killed him..?! They killed people..? Mike-, they killed people..?!"

..Um..

I.. I didn't expect for this part to have so much effect on her.. I get that it's 'weird', but.. Roxy seems to really be obsessing over the fact that it was the animatronics..

"U-Uh.."

"Was it just them?"

...

...

"Was it not just them..?!"

To be honest, it wasn't my reluctance to share that information that kept me from responding, I just couldn't think of what she was talking about when she said 'just them'.. She means to ask if those animatronics in the old pizzeria were the only offenders..

Fortunately, my inability to answer seems to have given her the correct idea anyway..

"..It was-, u-um.."

"What others..?! What other ones did you work with that tried to kill people..?! That tried to kill you?!"

This time, the only reason I do answer is because I fail to stop and think about what I'm saying..

"It.. It was all of them, they all tried to.."

...

That really wasn't a piece of information I wanted to share just yet..

Roxanne took it about as well as she took everything else.. The pale, the eyes, everything's still the same.. There's only so much sheer bafflement you can portray on one face.

...

...

"Is.. Everything alright between you two..?"

It takes me an extra second to figure out that voice didn't come from either of us.

Nearly freezing again, I catch a look at the bear walking towards us from his greenroom.. The closer he gets, the more obvious it becomes to him that something's wrong.

Shit- Bad..! Badbadbad, hold on..! We need to pause this..!

Roxanne and I lock eyes again, and a telepathic conversation ensues.

We cannot keep doing this here. What we're talking about needs to stay between us, and i know we both understand that.

I want so badly to start brainstorming ways of playing this off, but I can't. My mind's a complete mess right now. There's barely any coherent thought left in my head.

So, I stare at Roxy. Hoping to give her the signals that what's happening right now needs to stop.

...

"..What on Earth-, what happened to you two? Is there something the matter? Do I need to call somebody..?"

...

Wh-.. Why can't I get to her..?

It's like this 'telepathic conversation' is one sided.. I'm sending signals her way, but getting nothing in return. It's like I'm talking to a brick wall..

Freddy finally reaches Roxanne's side, staying back a couple feet to give her the distance she needs. We're out of time.

What's the plan..? Rox, what now? We can keep talking about this later, or inside your room, or..

Ugh.. I can't-, I'm.. I really hate to force someone else to take care of this issue for me, but I just can't.. My head's killing me - any attempt at brainstorming feels like someone's bashing an ice-pick into the back of my skull.. I can't figure a way out of this right now..

This time, I'm going to have to trust you with this.. I don't have a choice.. There's a way out of this situation, I know there is. I bet it's not even that hard, I'm just incapable of doing what it takes to conjure it up..

Even if I can't communicate with you, I trust you.. You know how important this is to me; you've seen how hard I've been trying to keep people from knowing about this..

It really, really pains me to say this; but it's up to you. I've gotta trust you to take control of this for me..

..It's hard, and it goes against everything I've tried to do up until coming to the Pizzaplex.. But I trust you.. Even if my brain and body quivers at the idea of placing my trust in anyone, I do, and it's you.

Come on..

...

...

Just as the silence starts to grow unbearable, Roxanne just barely manages to break out of her trance and start to stutter something.

It's incoherent - just the beginning of a word that she failed to finish; but it's enough to instill some much needed hope in me.

...

Then, Roxanne's arm rises again. The same accusational finger as before points in my direction.

I make an attempt at figuring out what she's trying to tell me, but it obviously doesn't bear much fruit. Part of me thinks she's signaling me to get us out of this situation; in which case, I've got bad news for you.

..It takes an extra second to read her body language and figure out what she's trying to tell me. A feat that I thought impossible a moment ago, but as soon as I tried looking at it from a different direction, it becomes obvious.

..That's not why she's pointing at me at all. Roxanne isn't trying to tell me anything..

...

As soon as the implications of that settle in, everything stops.

...

...

...

Wh-..?

...

No.

No.

...

The courage to speak once more gathers in her eyes, and the my furiously racing mind blanks to nothing in an instant.

...

...

You-, wh..?

No.. No..! What..?!

..D-.. Don't..! Don't..!

You-..! You said you wouldn't-!

_.-._

"Mike's-.. Freddy, the animatronics killed people where Mike worked. They crammed night-guards into suits, killing them."

_.-._

My world falls apart, right in front of me.

...

...

I can see Freddy stare into space, uncertain about what he just heard. Followed by an initially skeptical look, before looking back at the state Roxanne's in and figuring out that she's serious.

But in this very moment, it all means nothing to me.

...

...

...

..Wh-..

Why..?

I-..

...

..W-Why..?

I-I trusted-..! I was p-promising to myself that I could trust you..! I-I had to do that all day..!

Wh-..? Why?! Why did you-..?!

I thought I could-..! Y-You told me to trust you..! I-I trusted you because you told me too..!

It-! It was hard..! I tried really hard to teach myself to t-trust you..! I-I never trusted anybody with this, so I had to f-force myself to trust you!

I-..! I-I trusted you! I trusted you not to tell anybody..! That was-..! That's the one thing that kept me sane all day..!

You just-! You told him..! Now he-..!

I.. I trusted you..!

B-but...!

...

...

...

...

My mind starts to fail. All the emotions cancel each other out, leaving me incapable of feeling anything; leaving me hollow.

...

I don't get it.. I just-.. I don't get it..

...

As the despair quickly saps the energy in my body, I lose focus, and I'm unable to make out Freddy's expression.

He's been staring this way for a while now.. He believes her, it's easy to tell.. I bet he's already figured out the deal behind that 'suit' too..

...

As if it couldn't get any worse, a new sound beats to my left. An energetic jogging, quickly slowing to a cautious walk as whoever it is gets close enough to see the sate we're all in.

This is it.. This is the day it all falls apart.. This is the day I've been dreading for my entire life.. Sh-.. She's gonna tell everybody.. Freddy's gonna tell everybody.. I can't stop it anymore..

I trusted you. I trusted you.

...

"..Uhm!"

Chica..

I'm unable to make eye contact with any of them, and the silence eventually prompts the bird to speak again.

"..W..What happened? Hello..?! Is everyone okay?!"

Instinctively, I want to ease her worries, but all my impulses swallowed by the black hole in my stomach before I can act on them.

...

Like clockwork, I can see Roxanne's arm move again.

It hurts.

I'm standing here, watching the one purpose I've lived for since my father's death be driven into the dirt, but..

There's nothing I can do.. All that remains is for me to stand here and wait for it..

...

...

_._

"The animatronics kil-"

_._

"Yes-, everyone's fine, we appreciate the concern." Freddy randomly interjects, with just enough force to cut Roxanne off. "S... Sorry to worry you, but nothing's the matter. It'll be sorted out shortly."

...

..Wh?

I run the sentence over and over again in my head, and it doesn't make any more sense than it did the first time.

Eventually, the sheer confusion is enough to get me to look in his direction.

What Freddy just did was even enough to get Roxanne to look at him in utter bafflement..

...

The two of us stare at him as he moves to intercept Chica, doing everything in his power to reassure her that everything's alright. A fake carefree smile, and forced-casual gestures litter his mannerisms with every back and forth..

...

What's happening..? Why is he trying so hard..? Why did..

...

Why did he cut Roxanne off?

That was intentional. There's no way to argue that. Freddy prevented Roxanne from telling Chica what she told him.

Why..? What reason could he possibly have for doing so..?

To protect me? Why would he? Not even Roxanne was willing to do that.

...

...

...

I trusted you..

...

Eventually, the bear's able to convince Chica to leave us to our own devices.. It doesn't take a genius to tell that Freddy's exaggerating about everything being 'fine', but even so, Chica is the most emotionally intelligent one of the gang. There's no way to slip our conditions past her. Fred realized that, and instead went for insisting to let us handle our issues ourselves.

..Chica was reluctant, but seemed to agree that if Freddy was so passionately arguing that this would be for the best, then it probably is..

...

All three of us watch the bird leave, and the two of us who aren't Freddy turn immediately to look at him.

...

With a sigh, Freddy himself turns around and straightens his bow-tie, before walking past Roxanne to start making his way towards me.

As Freddy passes her, however, Roxanne doesn't remain silent. Her expression of bafflement is still present, but there's clearly too much she's confused about to let happen without explanation anymore.

"..Freddy, what..?" Roxy intones. She's exasperated, but still can't get her voice to come out any louder than a whisper.

"..I'm sorry?"

"I-I.. The-, did you hear me..?"

"..I did, yes.. The animatronics from our old locations were, for whatever reason, willing and capable of, ah.. Murder.."

"That's-..! Freddy, that's what we are..! we are them..! Those things are what we're supposed to be..! We are not shrugging that off..!"

"We're not, no.. Listen, I understand where the stress is coming from, but I wish to know more before we take the privilege of disclosing this off to anyone else.."

"Wh-..?"

"I understand it's surprising.."

"Who else but-..? Who else but us are you talking about? They were us. It's our privilege."

Having a normal conversation with someone appears to be calming Roxy down quite a bit.. It's something I wouldn't mind partaking in, if I had any idea what the fuck just happened.

"Sorry, perhaps 'privilege' was a poor choice of words.."

"Freddy, we need to-"

"No, please, let's.. Let's discuss this with Michael first, alright?"

"..Wh-?" Roxanne briefly turns to look at me, then looks right back at the bear. "No- what about Michael..? Why does he matter?"

"Michael was a night-guard, therefor he should know more about this than anybody.. He experienced these.. 'violent tendencies' firsthand, didn't he?"

"No- Fred, he doesn't need to confirm anything; I heard it happen from another night-guard. I listened to him fucking die..!" Roxy's intonation wants to suggest she's frustrated, but the lack of any meaningful volume makes it difficult for her to seem this way.

"..I.. I see... Listen. I understand, but that isn't what I meant. If-"

"They attacked him. They tried to kill him. Every night..! At every place..! Who the hell are we supposed to let know about this..?!"

"That's what I'm trying to say, Roxanne. If Michael had experienced these things, then surely he would have known about them, understand?"

"No..! I have no fucking clue what's going on..!"

"Please, with the language.. I understand you're upset.."

"So what if Mike knew..?!"

"Something like this isn't what most people would keep to themselves.. If you had risked your life every night, surely you'd want people to know what happened, wouldn't you?"

"Y..Yes..! It doesn't make sense..!"

"I doubt Michael would be an exception, then.. If Mike decided it was better to keep something so intense to himself, then surely he has a significant reason for doing so.."

"What reasons..?!"

"I... I do not know.."

"No one knows, Freddy..! How do you know his 'reasons' are good enough to hide something like this..?!"

"I don't.. Though after the time we've spent, I've decided to trust his judgement."

"I.. I don't get it."

"I'm not sure what else to say."

"Of course you trust him; 'I' trust him, but it doesn't make any sense for-"

"Listen, I understand you're stressed, but I have no more answers for you. I trust Michael; and now that something so sensitive to him has been divulged, I simply want to demonstrate that he can trust me as well."

"Freddy-, show him how? Show him he can trust you by not sharing the shit he's been trying to keep a secr-?"

Right then, it finally, violently clicked.

Freddy had already turned to keep walking by the time it happened, but it clicked hard.

With little warning her eyes gloss over again, and all the color that had returned to her face pales in an instant.

...

Just before Freddy finishes making his way over, I can see Roxanne violently whip around to look at me; a soul-crushing dread like she's never experienced before littering her entire expression.

As if to say my mind's finally done trying, I can only give her a blank stare in response.

For the small duration we find our eyes locked again, there isn't a single thought that enters either of our brains. Two empty minds, staring back at each other.

...

...

"I'd like to suggest we move to another room..?"

It takes a few seconds to finally conjure the brainpower to look up at the bear speaking with me.

...

"O-Oh.. Probably, yeah.."

I'm impressed I was able to make such a coherent response. Look at me go.

This is the second time today where my mind's gone from 'an indecipherable cesspool of a million different thoughts' to 'completely empty' in less than a second. It's starting to take it's toll..

I'll admit though that if I 'hadn't' blanked either of these times, I would never have been able to push towards returning to a normal state of mind. It's significantly easier to conjure a thought out of nothing, opposed to trying to stop a million thoughts from moving so I can cram one more in.

...

"Are you alright?"

Didn't take long to see through my pathetic attempt to play off what I'm feeling.

...

"Yeah. Just.. A lot happened, took a second to get caught up.."

"I understand." Freddy responds immediately, taking a step to the side and waiting for me to start walking with him.

...

"T..Thank you.."

"Understanding's what I try to do best, no need to-"

"For, um.. Keeping it a secret, I mean.. There's a reason, I promise, just-.."

"Michael."

"T-... Thank you for.. trusting.. me.."

It's almost unbelievable how bad with emotions I am.

Still, what Freddy did was incredible.. What Rox told him was nothing short of inconceivable, but he still somehow managed to figure out everything I wanted-, um..

...

Everything.. I wanted Roxanne to figure out..

...

Freddy's polite and well mannered, but it's easy to forget sometimes how wildly intelligent he is. I reckon he gets it from spending all that time 'thinking' in his room; or maybe he was just made to be this way.. I'll have to add 'cool headed' to that list, too.. These weren't conclusions you could reach in such a short time while in shock..

Freddy decides it's best not to respond and prompt me into talking further, instead just bobbing his head in the direction of his room.

I'm close to nodding and walking along with him, but magically, I make the first intelligent thought I've been able to conjure all day.

...

"Can we go in Roxanne's room instead..?"

Freddy stares at me, prompting me to continue.

"Something happened, and it, uh.. Made a mess.. I don't want someone to stumble in there and see what happened while we're talking, so if we could all go into Roxy's room, we could lock it or something.. Until we get everything sorted out.."

Freddy looks up a little and cocks a brow.

"..Does it have something to do with Roxanne's appearance?"

It takes me a second to connect that seemingly unrelated sentence with what I just said.

Roxanne's disheveled, or at least appears that way. Small rips and tears across her entire outfit, unkempt fur, stringy hair..

"It does.. It's a long story, but the phone practically exploded in front of her.."

"What?" Freddy responds quickly. "What happened..? Was there something wrong with what I'd done to fix it? I never tested it for more than four seconds at a time.. Maybe the wiring was done poorly, and it overheated with extended use, causing-"

"No-, 'I' did it, not you.. There was, um.. A message from the night-guard that worked before me playing, and I did something stupid.."

"..What could you have possibly done to a phone to make it spontaneously combust?"

"It didn't actually explode, just.." I look down a little and continue with a sad chuckle. "Uhm.. With enough speed, hurling a wrench at it will produce a similar result.."

Freddy's brows lift a bit, but he quickly moves to comfort.

"Alright, alright. We'll talk about this more inside; we don't want anyone else stumbling across us while we're-"

_._

"Mike!"

_._

The sound nearly stops my heart.

I hear Roxanne take a total of two steps forward before our eyes lock and she freezes again.. Has she been stuck in a trance this entire time..?

"Mike , I-I swear-..! I swear to god, I didn't mean to! I-It just freaked me out, okay..?! I didn't-..!"

Just looking at her feels like a spell is cast over me, and my mind goes a little blank again.

I'm not freaking out anymore; I'm stable and everything, but there's nothing I can think to do but stare back at her.

...

"N-No, I didn't! I swear! H-Holy shit, I'm sorry, okay?! That w-wasn't-..! T-That wasn't what I was trying to say..!"

It sounds like she's having an argument with herself, but I think it's my silence that's her opponent..

I'm not trying to freak her out or make her feel bad, but I can't do anything.

There's no thoughts I can work with here. The only things I can work with when I'm looking at her is how I feel.

There's a lot of emotions swirling around in my upper chest. It's like I can feel them spinning around and mixing together; like looking down in a witch's cauldron.

"..Mike! Mike, l-listen!"

It's almost sounds like she is arguing with someone, but if she is, it's not me. I'm not moving a muscle. It's dead silent in here except for her.

..There's a lot of feelings that contradict each other swirling around..

There's a little bit of fear, but just as much understanding.. Empathy's prompting me to try stopping her from freaking herself out, but uncertainty's preventing me from moving. I'm worried, but I'm weary. There's a touch of frustration over what she did, but it's cancelled out by the knowledge that it's completely natural that she acted this way. Roxanne heard something almost unthinkable, so she panicked. God knows I've done the same.

But there's one emotion that's new.

"I didn't mean to..! I-It's okay though, right? F-Freddy stopped me! E-everything's fine, no one else knows..! Mike, I-I'm..! I'm s-sorry..!"

I didn't think there was anything left I hadn't felt. Figured that people experience just about everything there is to feel at least once before they're even 7.

Especially in the 'bad' emotions range.. I mean, what else is there to feel after running around to burn abominations your father created, including your father? It wasn't a pleasant experience, but I thought at least there's nothing new that could possibly be thrown at me..

Maybe it's not even an emotion in-and-of itself; it's probably just a combination of the stuff like frustration, weariness, all that fun stuff.. I wanna think that way because the feelings that counteract those are present here as well, telling me I shouldn't feel this way.

..And yeah, I probably shouldn't.. I understand what happened.. Roxy was just scared, or freaked out, or whatever..

..Have I really gone my entire life without feeling betrayal before? I mean, there was that time with-

"No!"

Roxanne suddenly articulates, as if she was reading my mind.

"N-No! I didn't, I-I swear to..! M-Mike, I d-didn't! I-I was scared, o-okay..?! Fucking-, M-Mike, please!"

Finally, my gaze doesn't seem to be able to stop her anymore, and she stumble-runs her way across the corridor over to me.

I instinctively take a step back, weary of Roxanne's momentum; but as soon as she gets close, she desperately grabs my shoulders like she's trying to shake some sense into me.

"I-I trust you, okay?! I do! I-I swear to god, I..! I didn't m-mean to say-..! Y-You know that! Mike!"

Not faring any better than I was a moment ago, I can only reflexively grab Roxanne's arm and continue to stare up at her.

What's happening right now? I get she thinks she messed up, but it's like she's about to explode.. This is an overreaction, isn't it..?

...

I'm not entirely sure why I feel the way I do. I do know she trusts me, I'm still confident of that.. It was just a slip up. So it's not like I should feel this sense of betra-

"Say! Something! F-Fuck! Stop it! J-Just tell me it's okay! I-I trust you! I-I trust you, and you t-trust m-!"

"I don't."

It barely even registered what she was about to say before the realization caused me to say something without my permission.

That's it.. T..That's the feeling.. That's why I'm feeling this-..

Deciding that I absolutely cannot just stand here and say 'I don't', I just speak the words that are coming to mind, and hope that they turn out okay.

"No-, I mean.. I do.. If things were like 'this' always, then yeah.. You didn't mean to say it, I get that. You were just.. In a 'state', and that's fine... But I-"

"Mike. Please."

"But I can't, okay..? Look, I promise I don't hate you. I was a little frustrated a little while ago, but I know you didn't mean to.."

"I-I didn't." Roxanne's voice takes a turn, transforming the panicked desperation into a desperation stemming from heartbreak or despair. "I didn't, Mike - I promise.. Please.."

What in the world is going through her head right now..? It's not like she's in danger or anything, but it's like her world is falling apart..

"That.."

"I didn't mean to.."

...

"I-... Look, I know, but it doesn't matter.."

It hurts to say that. It hurts, I swear it does..

...

"I promise, Rox: it's not because I think you're bad, or did it on purpose, or anything like that.. You're still my favorite, and I don't think of you any less, alright? You didn't mean to, I get it, just-.. I cannot let people know. Under any circumstances. I've spend my entire life building these secrets and forcing myself to keep them no matter what.. I think you're trustworthy, and I know you'll keep whatever secrets you hear, but it doesn't-.. It doesn't matter if you say it on purpose or not.. If someone else hears, It'll spread, and if it spreads, I have no idea what I'll do. Y'know..?"

I don't even feel myself saying this.. I'm just letting the thoughts conjure into my throat instead of my mind, and it doesn't feel very good.. I think the whole reason it feels bad in the first place is because I'm saying it, which means I mean it.. It's what I really feel..

"Mike..!"

"Rox, I'm-"

She shakes me a little.

"P-..No..! Mike, y-you-! Please..!"

"Look- It's okay..! We'll still chill like we always do, and everything; nothing will change..! Nothing's wrong..!"

"Please..! J-Just..! P-Please..! I-It won't happen a-anymore..!"

"Rox, calm down..! It's alright..!"

"No! N-No it's not! T-Trust me! Just-.. A-Another chance, o-okay..? I-I didn't..!"

"It's-"

"I-I trust you..! I s-swear to god, please Mike - I-I'll do anything! I-I'll prove it somehow, o-okay?!"

"Stop, Rox. You're losing it over nothing, okay? It's okay, everything's okay."

"Trust! Me!"

"I just said I trust you with, like-"

"No! W-With everything! I'll do the same thing, o-okay?"

"I.. I can't, alright? It's not that I-..!"

"Y-You can trust me! Y-You trust me!"

"I don't..! That's just-..!"

I fail to come up with the rest of my sentence, only being awarded the opportunity to see the damage I'm doing.

...

It's starting to scare me - what the hell is freaking her out so much? Nothing's different..! It's not like one of those 'nothing will be the same' scenario's; literally everything will remain how it was before..!

...

I.. I need to say something else.. If I don't, it looks like Roxanne might actually just fall to pieces..

...

"O-Oh, but I'll tell you about the animatronics though, alright? I've already done the damage there, so it's not like not-telling you would mean anything anymore. So we can still do that, okay?"

I'm talking to her like you'd hear a parent to their distressed child, and it makes me feel like scum.

It's not like I-... Look, I understand that trying to talk casually in this situation is the farthest thing from appropriate, but that's all I know how to do..

...

-sniff-

Nope, okay, we're doing something else. Something else needs to happen.

Deciding that I'd rather deal with literally anything but a fallen-apart wolf at the moment, I sneak past her and grab her arm to tug her along in Freddy's direction.

The latter of which is found politely waiting a few feet away, ready to move everyone to Roxy's room. In a moment of telepathic understanding, he begins to lead the way.

...

..I haven't been giving that bear enough credit..

It's not like I bump into him very much since he's always in his room. That, and the fact that he probably prefers to spend time alone, as opposed to the rest of the gang.. Sometimes it's left to the imagination what he's capable of; but every once in a while, you'll see why everyone, including the gang, respects him so much.

He may not be as strong as Monty, as emotionally observant as Chica, or as glamorous as Roxy, but Freddy has a phenomenal ability to make up for the qualities he lacks using other methods.

Even now, I think Chica would be better for snuffing out the tension between all of us, but Freddy's working around it pretty well. He may not be able to determine how everyone's feeling through the power of empathy alone, like the bird can, but he's able to figure it out anyway simply by thinking about it logically.. And when there's a situation that Freddy doesn't know enough about to diffuse, he simply stands close-by, but out of the way; ready to put the pieces back together instead of preventing them from falling apart.

...

...

Only a few feet until Roxanne's room, I start to notice something else peculiar..

..The worst of it is over; the shock has worn off.. Back there, I really thought I might've died on the spot. It's been years since I've felt as horrible as I did when Roxy let my secret slip, and I interpreted it as flat-out betrayal. Maybe even worse than I did up against the old animatronics. The cake still goes to what I did to Evan, but.. You get the point; only a few moments ago, I was feeling the worst I've ever felt. A moment of true, soul-crushing despair.

It's passed, though. We're still kind of in the middle of something, but the shock has long since vanished.. Usually, when I finally get a hold of myself, my mind clutters again.. Not as bad as it did moments before, but I'd still feel the buzz of nonstop thought..

I don't, though. Nothing's cluttering..

I've gotten a good hold on myself again, but the thoughts ripping around in my mind haven't returned.

Despite experiencing the worst feeling I've had in a while.. I can 'think' just fine..

I'm feeling alright. It feels like things are under control. There are some loose ends to tie up, but they don't seem as insurmountable as they did before.

..What happened? What changed?

...

Y'know what? Gonna have to think about this later.. Still got a couple things to do.

"Oh-, good heavens..!"

...

It may be a little more of a mess in here than I thought..

"Yeah, I.. Whoops.."

"Michael.." Freddy mutters, scanning the room and putting his hands on his hips like a father figure.

"I'll help clean.."

"Later, but yes. You most certainly will.." He continues, stepping lightly over the improvised plastic caltrops littering the floor.

"Sorry."

"..Good lor-, did you hurl it at the wall immediately after..?!"

"Nope, just threw it at the phone.."

"What happened to the wall, then..?!"

"The wrench, uh.. bounced.."

"And did this?!"

"Got a good arm on me."

"Perhaps I need to adjust that fancy trinket of yours.."

"Oh-, my metal arm? You don't think I coulda done this with the meaty muscles of my real one?"

"I'm reluctant to think so, yes."

Feeling slightly compelled, though also repulsed, from telling him that I did, in fact, throw it with my real arm. Body can do incredible things when it's not concerned with hurting itself..

---

...

...

It was a bit of a ride letting them in on what they knew so far.. It's no different than what I've already explained multiple times before, so I'll keep it short.

..So:

Everything they know now covers the oddities and absurdities surrounding Freddy's, but not the straight-up impossibilities.. I'd imagine that hearing something as ridiculous as killer robots is hard to believe, but they have no choice but to believe that after what Rox heard on the phone. I explained how the animatronics did use to wander around during the night, and that if they ever got their hands on a night-guard, it usually spelled the end for them..

I had to divulge on the reason I kept it a secret; at least somewhat.. They absolutely figured out by now that working as a night-guard at all of these locations is an absurd thing to want to do if you already know there's going to be bots trying to kill you all night, so I had to tell them what I was doing there.. Basically all I mentioned is that it was a personal vendetta after so much of my life as a kid surrounded Freddy's. For one reason or another, I took it upon myself to do what I could to stop the bots from doing what they did, using whatever means I found necessary..

Which did, in turn, meant I had to tell them about what I did there.. Like, how I tampered with the gang at Freddy's pizzeria to make it so they couldn't reach the night-guards anymore, and how I found Fazbear Frights to be a perfect opportunity to burn it all down, as well of taking down the last 'bot' that was there..

..I didn't tell them I was unsuccessful in that last part of the plan.. Though I did tell them that I was unsuccessful at Baby's.

So all of that, and whatever else was similar, is what I considered to be the 'absurdities' part of the whole story. The 'impossibilites', however, remained unmentioned..

I never specifically told them the reason why the animatronics killed people, but I did tell Freddy what the contents of the phone guy's message was. It may be somewhat intentionally misleading to tell them that without telling them the reason the animatronics did what they did, since the phone's message provided a somewhat lackluster excuse that it was a result of a recognition error that perceived night-guards as endoskeletons.

I didn't tell them this, but I intentionally let them reach that conclusion on their own.. Even though I know that's not the real reason at all.

Because at least this way, everything they know seems unthinkably unlikely, but still within the realm of possibility. If I continued to go any further, it likely wouldn't have been..

I still haven't given them any reason to believe that there were 'impossibilities' such as spirits, hauntings, and life after death involved.. As long as they don't think that something as mythical as that is possible, then 'I'm' safe.. The idea that I'm a spirit haunting my own corpse is still far outside the boundries of possibility for them..

This did end up working against me though, because I still had to explain why I chose to keep this all a secret; which is difficult without believing the 'impossibilities'..

The reason I do keep it a secret is because of the murders, which I believe could cause some copy-cat killers to emerge.. That's the reason I gave them, and in the 'heat' of the moment, they seem to have accepted it.. Thankfully, they didn't seem to catch how shoddy that explanation really is..

The animatronic's 'tendencies' are 'interesting', so I made the point that if people were to figure out what they did, a lot of people would get obsessed with the whole rumor franchise, which also happens to have a lot of 'murder' rumors circulating around in there.. If you think about it, however, the animatronics killing night-guards and the murder of the children don't really have anything to do with each other.. Not with the information they have, at least.

Of course in reality, the murdered children ended up possessing the animatronics and using them to commit murders of their own. That, unfortunately, is both fascinating, and directly ties the murders to the animatronics.. If people figured that out, I'm afraid that's what people would get obsessed with.. And potentially 'inspired' by..

Rox and Fred don't know that though. All they know is that 'the animatronics and the murders happened in the same franchise, so I'm trying to deflect as much attention away from the franchise as possible, simply because I don't want the 'murders' part of the franchise to repeat itself. The animatronics killing people would attract a ridiculous amount of attention, so I'm trying to prevent people from knowing about that, therefor motivating me to keep it a secret.'

...

Freddy's been deep in thought the entire time we've been talking, which I still find a little impressive.. This isn't really the kind of information you can just 'think about' without 'reacting to', but he's taking it like a champ..

..I'm not even sure if Roxanne's been listening.. She hasn't looked up from the floor since she sat down..

..I need to make sure she's okay, but this has gotta get done first..

---

...

It's been about half an hour, maybe 45 minutes.. I finished explaining everything a while ago, but we've been having our own little Q&A session while we went around and picked up all the bits of phone from off the floor.

Roxanne still hasn't spoke, but she appears to have gotten self-conscious from watching Freddy and I do all the work, so she's up and helping too.. Helping the best she can given the condition she's in, anyway..

...

Even after we finished though, I can't help but feel like there's more I want to say.. Freddy and I seemed to have a telepathic discussion about how the two of us want to keep talking a little more, but I really have said just about everything I can possibly say about the topic at hand..

The room's looking better, by the way. It's gonna take some vacuuming and maybe a little bit of deep-cleaning to get everything done, but there's nothing left on the floor or anything still tipped over.

...

I feel better..

Even if I were having a conversation with a rock, it would have helped.. Just having a normal interaction with a friend did quite a number on the clutter in my head. It feels like there's finally something I don't have to remember all the time anymore, because a couple others will remember it for me. Maybe that's why I feel the compulsion to keep talking..

...

No.. It's hard to explain, but it's something else.. It feels less like 'something I need to get off my chest' and more like 'there's something they need to know'..

...

...

After a while, it doesn't really feel like there's anything left we need to say to each other.. There was some much-needed light conversation, but before long, we were just standing around..

It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but one that served as a vivid reminder that something important happened between all of us. Even if it's already all said and done with, the air's still hefty.

I think we all understand that it'll disperse before too long though; especially if we all go back to doing our own thing.

So, Freddy starts to make his excuses, and I give him a few salutations.

...

As we talk though, the feeling comes back; like there's still something that he deserves to know.. Freddy seems to feel it to, but also understands that I can't seem to think of what it is though.. Without a single word between us, I think a pact forms. I swear to him that, at some point, I'll come and talk to him again in the near future. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a couple days, but we'll talk just a little more to tie up any loose ends we've failed to think of at the moment.

It's only as he starts to walk out the door do I finally think of what it is I want to tell him.. But I don't stop him from leaving..

...

After telling him all the stuff about Freddy's I've been withholding, I'm starting to feel like I owe it to him to tell him that it's these same rumors and events things that are currently having an effect on the Pizzaplex.. Cooper's decision to investigate and the publication of a certain article has spelled an ominous doom for this place, but the animatronics are really the only ones who don't have any idea about it..

...

Maybe that'll be a tomorrow thing.. I think today's already had too many 'things' for one Mikey to handle..

...

As the door automatically closes behind the bear, I glance back to see how Wolf's doing.

...

..I think she's been waiting for Freddy to leave for a while now.. Rox isn't staring at the floor anymore, but her body language is still peculiar.. She's still in her desk chair, sitting perfectly upright and folding her hands in her lap. Mannerisms not often associated with the standard sassy-ass wolf I'm used too.

I'm.. Not entirely sure what she's all about at the moment.. Maybe the situation's just been stressful. It's finally, finally over though; I can't tell you how nice it is to know the day's finally behind us. Time to kick back and unwind; leave tomorrow's problems for tomorrow's us.

...

"Oh- hey, finally ready to watch something?" I ask, turning in a few different directions and eventually walking in the direction of the laptop. " 'Cause I might actually pass out if I have to do anything else tonight.."

...

I can see the wolf looking at me from the corner of my eye, but a few seconds pass and I decide that it might be better if I do the talking for tonight.

"..Hey, before I forget, sorry for obliterating the phone you've been working on for me; and your room.. Hearing that sound again kind of sent me into a panic, and I destroyed your place in the process.."

"Mike, can-... Please?"

Almost like all Freddy and I did was delay the inevitable, Roxanne suddenly sounds like she's on the verge of breaking down again.

"..What? What happened..?"

"I-I, just-.. Please..?"

Of course, I'm not given much of a choice but to drop what I'm doing and make sure she's alright.

" 'Please' what..? Are you okay?"

"C-Can I try again? I-I really didn't mean to, o-okay? Please..?"

It's a touch more heartbreaking when she isn't in a blind panic. The worlds are soft; desperate, but not in the same way it was in the corridor.

"Rox, I'm not mad at you. I don't hold it against you at all. I'm not just being nice, I mean it."

"Please..?"

"I.. I really don't know what you're still so upset about; everything's fine, okay? Nothing's different, nothing changed between us. I don't think any less of you. I still want to chill and work with you like always; there's nothing to be upset about, alright?"

It's like trying to reason with a child teetering on the edge of tears. Every word feels like I'm walking a tightrope. I'm not sure how to get through to her that I completely understand; I like her just the same as I did when I walked into work today..

"No, Mike- I.. D..Don't fuck with me, o-okay? Y-You were mad, and I just-.. I-I don't want you to be mad at me anymore, b-but you-"

"Rox. I'm not mad at you. I might have been upset when it happened, but I stopped being mad the moment I figured out you didn't mean it. Nothing's wrong, I cannot stress that enough."

...

"..Y-You won't.. Trust me, t-though, and-"

"That's not because I'm angry. It's just-"

"I-I don't care why, just-..! P-Please, Mike..? Y-You can trust me, o-okay? I-..."

...

"Look- Rox, of course I do, but-"

"No..! S..Say it..! I-I don't believe you-, say you trust me..!"

...

"I'm not-"

"Say it..!"

The utter lack of volume makes it both hard to hear and hard to listen to.. I feel the signals being sent from my brain to my vocal chords, and I know what it is I have to say to make her happy again..

..But I can't..

I.. I promised I wouldn't lie to her anymore..

...

...

"I.. I'm sorry, but-.."

"Stop..!"

My answer simply wasn't enough to hold her together anymore.

Roxanne jumps to grab me from her seat, and launches us to what was probably intended to be the couch a little ways behind us; but it doesn't end up being enough to cover the distance, so the two of us only stumble back a bit until we trip and hit the edge of the footrest.

"I-I, just-..! J-Just tell me what to d-do! I d-don't know..!"

"Rox, stop..! So what if I don't, right? Nothing's changing..! We're still gonna do what we do every day, like this..!"

A little shaken from the tumble, I manage to grab the wolf's shoulders and hold her a few inches up off of me.

It only sends me into a bigger fit of confusion when a couple tears fall from her face onto mine face in the shaking.

Why..? What could possibly be so upsetting that it's warranting a reaction this intense? She feels bad for telling Freddy the secret, I get that, but I've already made it blindingly clear that I don't think of her any less for doing so. I completely understand. Whether I trust her with information like this or not shouldn't mean anything to her; we'll still be the same..!

"No! S-Stop! Stop s-saying that! Stop!"

"I don't know what you-! Rox, What do you want..?!"

"T-Trust me!"

"It's fine if I don't..! We'll still do stuff-, I don't hate you..! I already trust you with enough though, right..?! I just told you and Freddy all that stuff - I wouldn't have said that to you if I didn't trust you..!"

"N-No! M-Mike, i-it's not enough! o-okay? Please!"

"I-, Rox, why..?! What aren't you getting that you had before..?! I'm still here..! It'll all be the same!"

Like I struck a nerve, Roxanne lunges out a desperate cry.

"I don't WANT the same! I-I don't WANT this to be it!"

"I'm-, What?!"

Roxanne suddenly manages to slightly get a hold of herself, dedicating brain power to ripping my hands off her shoulders and planting hers on mine.

"I-I don't want this to be it! I d-don't want this to be w-where we are forever! I-I don't want this to be as far as we go, o-okay?!"

My vocal chords vibrate, desperately wanting to ask what the hell she's talking about, but it clicks before the words can escape.

"Wh-.. What do you-..?!"

I've heard these words before; it only took me a moment to remember where.. We've had this talk already - earlier today in fact.. The whole reason I was coming here to meet Roxanne in the first place was because of what she told me in the offloading area..

"I-I don't want to be stuck here, o-only doing this f-forever! M-Mike, I-I want more..! b-but I can't have that if y-you don't-..! I-If you don't trust me!"

Roxanne said she wasn't content.. What we find most appealing about each other is that new, interesting things keep happening, and it brings us closer together. We aren't simple, and it's that desire to keep peeling each other's layers until we get to the core that keeps us coming back.

By deciding this is as much as I'll ever tell her, I'd be guaranteeing that there's nowhere else for us to go. This is as far as we'll come.

"Mike, please! P-Please!"

"..I-, Rox I d-"

Already unhappy with the answer I hadn't even conjured yet, something seems to break and she rips her arms off my shoulders, angrily letting her head collide with my chest.

"I-I'm sorry..!"

"Listen..! I underst-!"

"No, Mike- please..! I-I'm sorry..!"

"Roxanne, look, I'm-..."

"I'm sorry..! I-I'm sorry..! I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm-"

No longer content with waiting for my response to continue begging, Roxy appears to find self-sufficiency in mumbling apologies into my chest; every instance getting quieter, but more desperate.

...

..But even if she does want to keep me around to learn more about me, that doesn't explain why she's so-... It's like she's never fought harder for something in her entire life, and it's for my deceptive ass..? That doesn't make any sense; it's not like she won't be able to find anyone to help her out with her issues if I were to disappear for some reason.. Hell, anyone would be better at doing this than I am.. We're friends, I get it'd hurt to lose each other, but it's like the thought is absolutely catastrophic for her..

...

Before I'm able to say anything else, Roxanne finally stops holding it. She's decided not to let anything go unsaid anymore, if there's even the slightest chance it might change my answer, and it nearly breaks her; sending her from pleading mess into a sniveling, truly miserable pile of tears.

"I-I don't want to s-stop here forever, M-Mike.. Mike I-I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry, I r-really didn't mean to.. I-I told you, a-and y-yelled at you, and g-got really angry at y-you because I k-kept telling you to t-trust me, and y-you wouldn't, so I k-kept yelling at you until you d-did. T-Then you promised to t-trust me if I didn't t-tell anyone, then I f-fuckin' did, cause I got f-freaked out, a-and.."

I can barely even make out what she's saying..

"P..Please stop. Rox, I-"

Roxanne's nails randomly start to dig into my back, desperately cutting me off before I can say anything she doesn't want to hear.

"S-Stop..! I-I can't, Mike! I c-can't, okay..?! I-I need you to trust me! I-I know I told you to do that, a-and then fucked it up, b-but I can't..! T-This can't be it, Mike-, I-I don't know what I'll do if you don't, a-alright..?! I-I can't do it without this, o-okay? I-I'm serious! Mike please..!"

"If.. Rox, I don't-..."

"Please! Mike, please..! H-Holy fuck, y-you don't understand..! I-I'll do fucking anything-, I-I can prove it again next time..! I-I fucked up this time, b-but I won't anymore..! Please..! P-Please! Please! P-Please..! Please.. please, Mike-, please.."

Why? Why is this so meaningful? It's not even like we'd lose each other like I was saying before; the very worst thing that would happen is that things would remain the same as they have been..

...

...

...

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to feel.

Everything contradicts, every option feels like the wrong one.

It's almost indescribable. Like she thinks she's going to die if she doesn't get a different answer out of me.

What do I do? It's not something I can change just by feeling a different way.. It's not like how she feels toward what she did changes the only conclusion there is to make after watching everything that happened.. It's not that I don't desperately, desperately want to trust her.. What possible hope for this is there?

The only thing you can take away from all this is: Roxanne is incredibly trustworthy, and takes it very, very seriously. If I were to tell her anything, there's a very, very low chance that she would ever mutter it to another soul for as long as she lives..

...

But that chance isn't 100%..

It's ridiculous; like a number that you'd round up to 100. 99.87%, 99.93%, 99.99%..

But it's not 100%.

It might be right. there.

but it's not 100%

..This just isn't a pleasantry I can take. What I know could be catastrophic; and I've sworn every pore of my body towards ensuring that there's nothing less than a 100% chance that no one ever finds out about it. Nothing. Less. Than. 100%.

It's not something I can risk for a nicety. Even if it would make me live a million times happier, if there was even a 0.001% chance that what I know would get out, I wouldn't take it. It really is nothing personal, it has nothing to do with how I think of her.. This is just what I've sworn to do.. My last duty.. It's the only thing left for me to do, so that I can ensure that every trace of my father is wiped off the face of the earth..

I cannot take risks. I can't.

No matter how much it hurts, I can't.

No matter how small the risk is, I can't.

No matter how much it would make us happy, I can't.

I hate it; it's not something I take any pleasure in, but this is who I need to be.

I can't change.

I can't change for anything.

I can't change for happiness.

I can't change for anyone.

I can't change for her,

I can't change.. For her.. I c-..

...

...

...

...

These are the thoughts that have been repeating in my head every hour of every day. Absolute certainty is required, and I'll throw away everything I know and love to make that happen. That's how I've felt my whole life.

...

Fuck, I don't-..

..I don't know.. I don't know if I feel that way anymore..

It's the only way I've ever felt.. It shouldn't even be possible for me to feel any different.. I just don't know..

I don't know..

I don't-..

...

...

...

"Why?"

"please..."

"I don't get it."

"Mike, please.."

"I just.. I don't get it.."

"Mike.. p-..please.."

"Why does it mean so much?"

"Y-You don't even have to say y-yes, just.. J-Just don't say 'no', o-okay? Please? P-Please?"

"You don't know anything about me."

"I-I don't care, j-just.. Please.."

"I could be anyone. I could have done anything."

"M-Mike, you c-could be a murderer, a-and I wouldn't give a s-shit.. J-Just trust-"

"Don't say that. You don't mean that."

"I-I do! I d-don't care..! Y-You aren't bad..! P-Please..!"

"I might be. You don't know, I could have done something horrible."

"I-I don't care what you did..! J-Just-!"

"Why?"

"D.."

"..Why?"

"P-Please.. D-Don't leave me like this.."

"..."

...

"Y-You don't even have to s-say 'you do' anymore, just.. J-just don't say you don't t-trust me.."

"..."

"N-No- Stop... D-Don't... Don't g-go quiet, p-please.."

"..."

"I-I don't care what it is, p-please tell me..P-please, o-one more chance, just-.. M-Mike.."

"..."

...

...

I can't. It isn't up to me.

This isn't a decision I can make.

Everything I've done. It's all been to prevent this.

"P...Please..."

...

...

...

_._

"Okay."

_._

"Oh my f-..!" Roxanne almost explodes, releasing a colossal breath. "T-Thank you..! Thank you, thank you, thank you, oh my fucking god, thank you, thank you, t-thank you.. thank you.. thank you... thank you.."

...

"..Rox, don't-"

"oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, o-oh my god, o-oh my fucking god, oh my god, oh my god, o-oh-.. oh my f-fucking-... o-oh my g-god... oh m-my..."

...

...

...

...

I don't get it.

I just-.. I don't get it..

...

...

I don't know what I'm feeling. I don't know if I made the right choice. I don't know if that was even a choice I could make.

I don't know.

I don't get it.

...

It makes no sense why it matters so much to her.

It makes no sense why it would matter so much to anyone.

I finally realized that it did, though. I recognized the desperate reaction she was having, because it was the same one I was having about the Freddy suit.

These secrets are something I wouldn't trade anything for. They're something I wouldn't give up for the entire world. That's why I fight for them so hard. Because they are truly the one thing I would throw away everything for.

That's why I reacted so desperately upon seeing the suit. Because it threatened that one thing I wouldn't trade for anything, not even for Roxanne.

..But if Roxanne reacted the same way towards me as I did to that suit, then.. That means the one thing she would throw everything away for is me.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind.. I suddenly wasn't so confident I'd throw her away for these secrets anymore..

...

So.. When I tried to tell Rox that I'd throw everything, even her, away for my secrets, the words wouldn't come out..

It took me a second to understand what the feeling was that prevented me from doing so.

It's because I promised not to lie to her anymore.

...

...

...

So.. Maybe it'll be okay..

...

...

Maybe it'll be okay..

Maybe we'll be okay. Maybe everything's okay..

...

...

I need to stop making promises..

---

- 5:00 AM -

...

- Pshh -

"They were out of the orange one. I got you-"

A loud groan is all I'm awarded in response to my efforts of going to grab sodas from the break room.

"-Fine, nevermind, no soda for you."

"Who the hell keeps drinking it all?"

"You, unquenchable canine."

"It's not fuckin-. Whatever, get the thing set up."

"What?"

"Movie, dumbshit."

"I thought you were doing that."

"No. Why would I?"

" 'Cause I was grabbing the friggen drinks."

"So?"

I haphazardly lob a drink in the wolf's general direction, setting the rest of them on the desk and cracking open the laptop.

"Thought you'd stop having an episode on the couch at some point while I was gone."

"It wasn't an episode."

"It was about as 'episode' as something gets."

"Jesus.."

...

Halfway through navigating through the application, a timestamp appears in the upper left corner.

"..Oh, shoot.. Heyyy, Rox?"

"What?"

...

After double checking with the computer's internal clock, I gently close the lid and turn toward the couch.

"There's only about an hour before when you like to get ready; don't think there's time for anything tonight.."

"Oh-, what?"

"It's a little after five."

"Oh fuck me..!" Roxanne bellows, gripping the blanket she was positioning over herself and gently tossing it to the floor.

"..I 'unno, guess we could do something else? Maybe I'll force you to play one of my nerd-games with me."

"No, it's fine.. Not gonna be able to friggen' enjoy it anyway.."

"There's still a while after six until the place actually opens."

"Give me a damn break.." She mutters to herself

...

The word 'break' sneaks a thought into my head, and I look for a few key details in Rox's appearance..

The blanket's been tossed to the floor, of course. Rox is positioned to rise from the couch but never actually does so, presumably preoccupied with grumbling inside her mind.

Now that things have calmed down, I'm able to get a better look at her face. It's still a little stained from earlier, but there are some lines under her eyes which I assumed to have resulted from the stress of crying that haven't disappeared yet.

...

"Hey-, when's the last time you got sleep?"

"What?"

"Like, I knew you were about asleep when I got here, but were you in bed very long?"

"No. Why?"

"Have you rested at all in the last 35 hours?"

"Mike, I'm fine."

I continue to stare at her for a while, before looking at the obliterated back-wall.

...

"Might pull a power-move on you here, if that's okay."

"What? No-, it's not."

"Cool."

A small back and forth initiates once she hears my phone start to dial. Most of which consisted of 'Mike, I'm fine' and 'Wolf, shut up'.

...

"Hey-uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAyup?"

"..Cooper?"

"Ayup?"

"What was that?"

"Sometimes this piece 'a junk flips out when I have the audacity to pick up the frickin' phone. Pretty neat. 'nyway- wassup?"

"Are you still around?"

"Nyope."

Welp.

"Are you nearby?"

"Kinda'. I'll turn this puppy 'round though, whatcha need?"

"There was a bit of an incident with the phone I dug up yesterday. No one's hurt or anything, but long story short: The back wall of Roxanne's room is fubared. It's like looking at a vertical crater."

"Ruh roh."

"Yeah. Rox was right next to the thing when it happened too, so she's a little shaken. Not hurt, though. I don't think.. Right?"

"What the hell do you think you're doing..?" Rox whisper-yells at me in response.

"She's alright."

"Mmmkay.. Lemme, uhhhhh.." Cooper's voice fades in and out a couple times, presumably reaching for something around his car. "..What day is it?"

"Fourteenth."

"No I mean, uhhhhh..."

"..Tuesday?"

"That's the spice. Arright.. Probly 'unna need sooome..." Cooper trails off again.

...

"Are you writing stuff down in the car?"

"Not if it'll make ya' angry at me."

It's phenomenal how this man's lived as long as he has.

"..Anyway. I was thinking the crater might not be very pleasant for guests to look at, and everyone involved might not be in peak performance mood. Could we get a day to put everything back together?"

"Fuck- Mike..!" Rox blurts under her breath once she realizes the end goal.

"Ayyyup.. Arright, gonna send some contractors yer' way tomorrow, but Imma send the 'day off' text here in a second.."

"Please don't text and drive."

"I'm at a red light."

"Are you?"

"No."

- Ding -

I reckon that was the text.. Finally got added to the group-text by the way. Sure as hell makes it easier to know what's going on.

"Mkayyy, there ya' be. 's kinda hopin' to sort out all these suits today anyway, so I ain't gonna fight closin' down for a day.."

"You're taking them home?"

"Ayyyyyup. Oh- Thought of somethin' a while ago! If I can get these things all cleaned up, maybe we-"

"Don't put them on an endoskeleton."

"I'mma put them on an endoskeleton."

"Why?"

" 's cool."

"Damn it."

Unintentionally earning a chuckle from the graying old fool, I take a victory where I can get it and shoot Rox an arrogant thumbs up.

"Arright! Anything else?"

"I don't think so. Unless another phone exploded somewhere else in the building.."

"Who knows. Anything 'not-important' else?"

"Like what?"

"I'mma gonna drop by the supermarket here in about twelve seconds, want anything?"

"..From the supermarket?"

"Ayup."

"..Oh-, actually. When you get a chance, grab a couple more packs of orange soda for the upper break-room. Ran out of those."

"Gotcha."

"That's it."

"I'll be back in-"

"Don't come back here, just drop them off next time you're around.."

"Alrighty."

"That's it."

"Y'sure?"

"Yeah."

"Y'suuuuure?"

"...What?"

"Y'sure?"

"Is there a correct answer I'm supposed to be guessing?"

"Nyope, waiting in case you remember somethin'."

"Do you do that with everyone?"

"Ayup."

"Does it work?"

"Hohoooo, yeah."

...

Oh- son of a bitch.. I don't want to reinforce this behavior, but I 'did' just remember something..

..I'm actually a little skeptical to ask this one, now that I know his peculiar take on the animatronics..

...

"Hey, Coop?"

"Still here."

"..I was wondering: Roxanne's raceway doesn't get nearly as much reception as it has the potential to due to it being the only place where a parent/guardian is required accompany the child."

I choose to stare into space instead of watch Roxanne's reaction, latter of which I'd assume to be incredibly distracting.

"Uh-huh.. Guess that makes sense-, did I make that one?"

"I don't know. I was just wondering if there was any chance we could consider removing that requirement.."

"It'll, uhhhhhhhh-..." Cooper trails off, making me a little nervous.

I'm not so sure he cares about the success of this company or the well-being of the animatronics anymore.. If that's the case, I'm not sure he'd see any reason to go through the effort of doing this..

...

"Coop?"

"Where's my friggen' pen..?" His voice rings distantly from another point in the vehicle.

"..Your pen?"

"I just had this dog-gone thing.."

"..."

...

"Whatever- I'll write it down later.. Methinks I can get the rule removed before we open again, so there's another excuse fer' this here break."

"..Oh-, really?"

"Ayup. Anything else?"

"Like, kids won't need parents to go there anymore?"

"If I can find this dang pen, then yeahp.."

"Wow.. Well-, no, nothing else then.. Thanks."

"Y'suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure?"

"Yeah."

"Y'suu-?"

"I'm fine, we're fine."

"Mkay. Gettin' outta here then. See ya in a bit'." Coop sings distantly, before the call finally ends.

...

"I was expecting that call to be no more than four sentences long."

"Wh-..? Are you fuckin' for real right now?"

I crack the laptop back open, figuring I've earned us quite a bit more time.

"Cooper scares me sometimes, but it's really dang easy to get him to do something."

...

Thought I was initiating another back-and-forth, but I'm not met with any audible response.

I get a connection to the television set up and the first movie I can think of playing. One I don't really care about either of us watching all the way through, 'cause I'm starting to doubt either of us will be able to remain conscious through the first half-hour.

Making the last click and throwing the softest thing I can find at the light-swtich, I turn around and snag a water bottle on my way back to the couch.

Roxanne's almost balled up on the couch, with the blanket over her knees. The more detailed parts of her facial expression obscured by the dark.

"Oughta make you drink some damn water one of these days. I've got no reason to believe there's anything but soda coursing through your veins." I chide lightly, falling onto the couch.

"..."

...

"You're freakin' me out, wolf. Yell at me or something."

"Shut up.."

...

"You alright?"

"You're just so damn dumb.." Rox mutters, letting her feet slide off the couch and onto the floor.

"What'd I do this time?"

...

Roxanne groans under her breath, visibly forcing herself to relax a little.

"You make it seem so trivial.. I was tired, wanted more of that orange shit, and wanted more kids to come play at my raceway.. Those were the only three things I was dealing with, and you fuckin' fixed them all within fourty-five seconds without even trying.."

"Sorry, I'll.. Make it, seem harder, next time..?"

"But when I try to deal with your shit, it's like I have to fight off the entire world." Roxanne lifts her arms a bit. "I mean-, like.. Jesus.." Then almost immediately afterwards lowers them to her side again. "..Whatever, I know I shouldn't be bitching about all my problems being fixed, but it makes me feel stupid sometimes.."

"I make it seem 'easy'?"

"Yeah. Half the time you're a bumbling dumbass, and other times a frickin' angel.. Is there something I'm not doing right? Is your shit as easy as mine is?"

"Rox, my shit is an entire life's worth in the making. You do just as good a job as I do; if not better, since sometimes 'I don't even have to try.' "

"That's fuckin' good though, right? It's better if it's easy to fix."

"Is this, like, a bruised ego thing?" I snicker, unscrewing my water.

"Damn it, fine- yes. It just feels like I'm horrible at this shit, while you brush everything off without effort."

"Oh-, pff." I start, waiting to take a sip before continuing. "I wasn't going to admit this, but I've been ridiculously pathetic today; way more than you think you've been."

"You're not pathetic because you stressed out about me stomping on your fucking trust, Mike; that's just how people feel.."

"Nononono, not that. That was something else entirely. Also, stop it, it was an accident."

"Fine.."

"But yeah. I almost lost my mind multiple times in the offloading center, then again when I was outside, then again when I came back in, and then this whole ordeal happened."

"The hell were you doing outside?"

"I was, uhm-... Alright, I'm telling you this 'cause I trust you, alright? So you know I'm not bullshitting you when I say that."

"F-..Fine.."

"I was burning the suit. It had a body in it, like you said. I managed to drag that thing out into the field and behind a hill."

"That's fuckin' gross.."

"Sorry about that, by the way.. Really didn't want anyone else to know about it until I'd already taken care of it.."

"..It's okay.."

"Thanks."

...

"That's so frickin' unbelievable, Mike; really..? The bots we were built to replace fuckin' killed people like you?"

"Tell you what, today's been long enough." I interject, bopping the snout in the corner of my vision with the half-filled water bottle. "We'll talk about it later, when my brain isn't mush. We should just chill until the place opens back up."

"Fine.."

"You aren't their replacement, by the way."

" 'wE'lL tAlK aBoUt It LaTeR' "

"Suppose I'll shut my pie-hole, then."

...

...

...

It hasn't even been three minutes and I'm about to pass out.. If I didn't know any better, I'd say the wolf already beat me to the punch.

This movie really isn't very interesting anyway.. Suppose that's why I chose it..

...

I really can't believe how pathetic I've been today..

This didn't use to happen.. I never used to lose my shit at the slightest reference to my father, or be on the brink of killing someone because I'm terrible at controlling myself.. I used to be unstoppable..

So many things I was certain I knew about have been.. Completely incorrect, or misunderstood.. My confidence used to stem from my ability to understand things, but that idea's been smothered in the dirt tonight..

I don't know nearly as much as I thought I knew, and it really is starting to eat at me..

If I don't understand the things I was confident I understood, then what about the things I already didn't understand? What if something incredibly important's been staring right into my eyes this entire time, and I've just been too stupid to pick up on it?

And what would I do if I did pick up on it..? Lose my mind? Leave it to this mysterious freakout-me to do all the heavy lifting? Lie about it s'more?

...

I'm just tired.. I want to feel that passion I felt when I was chasing my father around.. The one that drove me to performing unthinkable feats and facing nightmarish amalgamations of souls without batting an eye..

It felt horrible at the time, because I didn't know how it would feel without it.. Having a distinguishable 'purpose', I mean.. Not just hobbling around and forcing other people to deal with my shit until I die and get dragged off to hell.

Damn it, that thought used to motivate me.. The fuckin' atrocious things I've done would sit in the back of my mind, always; and I'd feel unparalleled motivation to act and do what I could to make up for them.. Hell didn't scare me, the idea that I wouldn't be dragging my father down with me did.

He's gone now. I killed him. I did it.

But now it feels so empty...

...

I need to cut this out at some point.. Tonight would be preferable.. Thinking myself into these fuckin' pitfalls doesn't benefit anyone..

Thankfully, the fatigue is finally starting to take it's toll.. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow, when all of today's shit didn't happen..

...

God, I hope so..

---

...

...

..Hey, look who's back.. Haven't had one of these dr-

Oh, this isn't the P-.. Huh..?

...

...

...

I slowly stand to my feet, taking in the surroundings.

...

It's happening again.. I'm dreaming.. Like, when I'm supposed to be in Freddy's pizzeria and wander around aimlessly for a while.

..This isn't the pizzeria though. It's the Pizzaplex..

...

...

For whatever reason, I seem to have conjured myself in the lobby. If it wasn't for that, I'm not sure if I'd even realize I was dreaming.. Everything outside the glass doors is smothered by a black fog, like how it was outside the Pizzeria..

The obvious conclusion would be that it acts like a barrier to prevent me from leaving.. But if it's anything like it was in the pizzeria, then there's nothing stopping me from wandering outside and into the fog. There really isn't anything for me out there, though.. I've gotten lost in it before, but that's only an issue until I wake up. If there is something out there, then I'm never gonna find it..

...

It's a little dark in here..

...

Without a clear objective in mind, I start towards the lobby stairs.

...

Soo.. What's the deal here..?

It's empty, just like the pizzeria was.. Or if it isn't, whoever's out there isn't making any noise.. I doubt that's possible though, it's quiet enough to hear the air sway gently from room to room.

...

I reach the top of the stairs and continue into the auditorium.

...

Is there even a purpose? Did this place just finally manage to imprint a little harder than the pizzeria did..?

I guess this place is considerably more spacious than the pizzeria could ever hope to be, so I've got that going for me.. Might make it a little less boring to wait for the dream to end.. Wonder if the bowling alley still works?

...

The auditorium has a few lights on, but they're dim and far between.. Thankfully, I still seem to have been supplied with my flashlight, so I'll take that obvious solution.

It's almost ominous how empty this place is.. Not once have I ever been to the Pizzaplex while truly alone. The animatronics are always here, so at the very least, I have to share this space with them.

Not that the animatronics seem to have any presence here, however..

...

My feet start to carry me towards the animatronic's corridor, Rockstar Row.

I wonder what condition my office will be in.. Everything else in here seems tidy and untouched, but has an air of abandonment around it.

..What's curious is that I used to consider the pizzeria in my dream to be where 'I belonged'. It, along with me, only had a presence in the past. So, it would be where a boy that's lost-to-time and a space lost-to-time go to meet up with one another every now and then.

The Pizzaplex isn't lost to time, though.. It's still very much relevant, to a lot of people.. Guess the whole 'time' thing might not have been as accurate as I thought it was..

...

It's so quiet.. Like I'm breaking the law by creating these footsteps..

Well sorry, Mr. Ambiance. Mikey has to make his way up some stairs.

...

...

...

I decided to take a slightly longer route and check out an office on the way to the corridor. It's not very remarkable.. Everything in here is what you'd expect to find in an office.. It isn't my office, so it doesn't have any of my belongings littered about, but I guess I was hoping to find something interesting..

..A liminal space a day keeps the monsties away..

...

...

As soon as the side-door to Rockstar Row opens, an interesting discovery awaits me.

This place.. Almost looks like it's in working condition; like it's being used..

The lights are on full blast, like you'd expect to find during the day.. None of the animatronic's greenrooms are lit, but shining a flashlight through their windows reveals nothing out of place. The ventilation is audible, which is another quirk unique to this room. It's not deafeningly quiet in here.

Deciding that my flashlight isn't necessary, I slip it back onto my waist.

...

...

It doesn't.. It doesn't feel right in here..

...

It's like the atmosphere resembles the one of the pizzeria, back when the old animatronics would follow me in here.. Things seem active and ready to use, instead of abandoned and untouched in perfect condition.

..It doesn't make any sense though.. Not only are the original gang no longer in existence, but there's nothing in the Pizzaplex that's ever had any ill-will towards me.. There isn't anyone or anything that could possibly stand in opposition..

...

I mean, that's what it was, right?

I don't want to call them 'enemies', but the animatronics were what I was fighting with. That's the only reason they appeared here at all. Once they were finally burned, they left my dreams as well.. So they were only in my dreams as long as they remained my real-life 'opponents'..

Who the hell's left to struggle with? Who-?

Oh.

...

...

..I get it.. How original..

...

These dreams are where I went to 'confront' someone/something that's giving me trouble in the real world.. This is the space I share with the people I struggle with..

As soon as that thought crosses my brain, I finally hear something. A couple distant footsteps, that slowly come to a halt at the other end of the corridor.

..This is where I came to confront who I stuggled with..

...

I take a deep breath, forcing myself to go about this calmly.

Knowing I'm not truly in danger, I take my time turning around; acknowledging the entity on the other end of the corridor.

And sure enough, there I stand.

---

NOTES (Bottom edition (Don't act like you're not impressed)

[New Reddit Art. More will be coming very shortly. (u/ParticularlyLargeRat)]

Hey!

:D

:D

:D

Please don't kill me.

Hoookaaaay, first thing's first!

I'm so, so sorry it took so long for this to come out. I'm sure you can see why. I knew this chapter was going to be long, but something like this is completely off the charts.

I came very, very close to releasing this chapter in parts, but eventually decided against it for several reasons.

1: Everything in this chapter needed to happen in the same time-frame in order to make sense, and separating it all by releasing in parts at a time would have made everything much more confusing, since there are a lot of points in this chapter where it refers to things that happened earlier on during the night.

2: I wanted to stay true to my decision to make each night it's own chapter.

3: There being 'too many things happening in one night for Mike to keep up with' was always intended to be a plot-point of the chapter, so cramming like a million things into one night and making it feel congested was intentional. However, as I'm sure you can tell, it got wayout of hand. Each part ended up taking so much more space than I thought, and 'cutting stuff out' wasn't something I could afford to do to make the 'congestion' plan work. (I kid you not, I still did end up cutting stuff out. I'll talk about that later.)

4: Still planning for chapter 40 to be a big chapter as well. (Not as big as this one (I hope (I hope))) Wanted to keep chapters 36-39 as entirely separate chapters, just so there's a grace period between plot-relevant chapters, as well as some time to build some things up.

THANK YOU for not eating me alive! And thank you for your concern!

(Oh by the way, I'd love to answer your review questions via PM, but I can't do that if you're logged in as a guest! Felt horrible ignoring one of the reviews that was asking how long the chapter would end up being, but I had no way of communicating with them outside of posting a notes-chapter, which I really didn't want to do!)

(If there is a way, please let me know. It's very possible that I'm just a dumbass.)

Second!

A couple chapter-related notes!

This chapter changed a lot. There were whole 5,000 word segments that weren't planned at all improvised in, and a few planned-out portions that got cut out entirely. Wanted to clear up a few things in case I didn't do a great job on elaborating on them.

1: Roxanne telling Mike that she 'didn't want things to stop there' near the end of the chapter used to be formatted incredibly similarly to a confession, but that wasn't really what I was going for at the time, so I did a bunch of editing and tried to clear it up. Still not sure how well I ended up doing that, so in case it's still confusing: There wasn't a confession yet..! (Sorry..)

2: There was a large portion that got cut out that indirectly related to how Mike and Rox's concepts of a romantic relationship. I've tried making it somewhat evident in the past that Roxanne and Mike are way beyond the point where they 'should' have started an actual relationship, and this segment would have gone over how both of them have character traits stopping them. Roxanne's was that it simply wasn't in her personality to ever admit something like that to Mike, and Mike's was that he straight up thought of it as an impossibility; because relationships revolve around being transparent with each other, and Mike's desire to keep everything a secret contradicts with that transparency. Eventually it ended up being cut out and replaced with the 'random-ass heart-to-heart' in the offloading center, because it covered a few more things that needed to be covered by the time Rox left. Because of this, it ended up seeming kind of random..? I ended up keeping it in because I thought the random-ness contributed to the 'congestion' plot-point.

3: Monty was supposed to have a larger part in this chapter, but that got cut out. Freddy learning about the animatronics seemed somewhat swept under the rug, and it was intentionally set up this way in preparation for a segment of the next chapter, but it still didn't stop it from seeming a little lazy. There's more of him coming, I sure as hell guarantee you that.

4: The dream segment right there at the end was supposed to be considerably longer, but the chapter was already damn well long enough, so I did this informal 'cliff-hanger' thing? Anyway, all there really is to say about that is that there's a lot of unanswered questions that will get covered soon, so don't stress!

5: Doing -th-|-i-s we-ird ass th-|-ing was new, and probably a little confusing. Wanted to try a slightly different approach to the whole 'losing it' deal that didn't include just outright explaining it. Think I like it, but still, sorry if it was difficult to understand what the hell was happening the first time it occurred. (If it sucks, uh. Let me know, so I can stop sucking. Pwease.)

Third

Gonna take a small break. Not as big as the last one, just a few days so I don't feel burnt-out. Figure this chapter is long enough to keep a couple of y'all busy long enough for me to get rested and back at it!

Alright random stuff

Have quite a few drawings and sketches to post on the Reddit here pretty soon, but I'm holding off until I get it all together and finished. I've been thinking of using the Reddit as a method of informal communication about chapter status-updates and stuff like that..? I don't know, I can't imagine many of you care about chunks of text that are only relevant for about of week as opposed to the actual drawings, so part of me doesn't want to riddle the page with clutter.

Oh my god, before I forget:

For the love of everything holy, send me music. Mention any song/band you enjoy in the reviews, PM's, Reddit, anywhere. I've been running out constantly. Literally any genre, I'll listen to anything. Lo-fi playlists, Death metal, Modern rap, Rock, Country, Videogame OST's, Ballads, Operas, Joke songs, Serious songs, Atmospheric music, White noise, Funk, Future funk, Pop, EDM, Electronic in general. This is all literally just a list of what I've listened to while writing in the past. So I cannot stress this enough, if there's any song or band you've been enjoying recently, mention it, and I will listen.

Seriously, looking at my phone right now, the last 10 things I've listened to while writing this includes Lincoln Park, a 2-hour compilation of Sonic the Hedgehog OST's, Bo Burnham, a Game Grumps compilation, ONLAP, several Monstercat things, Kane Brown, NSP, an hour of dark-atmospheric music, and a frickin' FNF mod.

Anything

All of my hobbies, the career I'm studying for in college, and the job I'm currently working are all things people usually listen to music while doing. That's great and all, but that means I'm constantly running out. I'm begging you.

So yeah! If there's a song you've been obsessed with for the last few days, or just want to promote a small-time band, do not be afraid to let me know. I can't tell you how much of a favor you'd be doing for me.

Okay.

Alright.

Hey, for real though, thanks for dealing with my BS. Nothing's done a better job at putting into perspective how inconsistent I can be than writing this fic.

In a meek defend myself, there were a couple days I wasn't able to write due to a small medical thing that popped up out of nowhere. Absolutely nothing serious; but it knocked me out of commission for a couple days, which didn't help this already ridiculously-late chapter. :D

As well as, y'know, writing a novel's worth of a damn chapter.

Oh hey, speaking of which. I did some painstakingly long rounds of proofreading and editing, but I can already promise you that there's a few things I missed. If there's any glaring issues you've found that breaks the immersion somewhere, don't be afraid to let me know!

Mkay.

I'm sure there's a million things I'm forgetting to say, but that's probably for the better anyway. Think I need to drag my ass away from this document for a while and chillax for a day or two.

As always, hit me up if you have any questions, or if you get bored and just wanna chat! Constantly checking the reviews, so don't think you'll go unnoticed!

You guys are the best, I mean it.

See ya in a bit!

---

EthernallyDamnedSoul

Knight of the Lunar Republic

Conderl

Grimmideals

CheckerWreckerWreckingBall (Love your name and pfp, btw. Got a good chuckle out of that one)

Zerutso

Silverleone

Dethcat (Don't kill me, I swear I'm rested)

-_-.-_-

As always, it's phenomenal hearing from you guys. I know I've said it a million times before, but I can't help it. Nothing I type ever feels like it gets the gratitude across, you're awesome.

~ a Particularly Large Rat