NOTES
Y'know what just gonna start putting the notes at the bottom now.
{29,500}
- Hyperventilating -
(I drove 14 hours in the last 2 days. I'm never touching a car again.)
-.-.-
..It's been more than a day since Cooper died..
The same orange rays of light that once shone through the lobby doors now shine through my kitchen window, Illuminating my otherwise unlit house a pleasantly warm color. It's morning instead of evening this time around, but.. Y'know..
...
..Sigh..
Steaming hot coffee trickles into my mug, but I can barely keep myself from zoning out long enough to watch it.
...
Roxanne's upstairs. She hasn't woken up yet.
It really has been more than 24 hours since I left the Pizzaplex with a glass-ridden and bruised Roxanne in my arms.. Sleeping for a full day is something else; she must have really pushed herself to her limits..
..I'm glad she's getting rest, at least.. Roxanne's exerted herself up on stage before, but even that pales in comparison to the effort she put in that night.. She needs this sleep, and her body certainly agrees..
...
..I haven't slept..
..How could I..?
...
My eyes haven't healed yet, but that's not a big surprise. When I died to Ennard, Remnant healed my eyes before anything else, and healed them very quickly.. But it still took a little bit.. I'm not sure why they're so prioritized, considering I don't truly need them to see anymore. Yet another unexplained anomaly surrounding the mysterious, seemingly random workings of Remnant..
...
..Remnant..
I've slowly been thinking about it more and more.. It's the reason behind everything, and I still hardly know anything about it. After I died, I lost most of my interest in figuring out what exactly it was, and instead just accepted that it did what it did..
...
It doesn't matter.
It'd be nice to know more about it, so that I can know what to expect, but.. It's more of a curiosity thing than it is practical.. My knowledge of Remnant isn't gonna change up how I act in these next couple days, that much is for sure..
...
..I stare out the window, but I know I'm not really looking..
...
Maybe it builds off the body's natural regeneration ability, rather than exist as it's own healing effect.. Eyes aren't really necessary due to my condition, but as far as my body's aware, my eyes would be the most important thing to heal out of anything in my body. Functional eyes would 'increase my chance of survival' the most, from an evolutionary perspective..
I guess that would explain why it prioritized regenerating my organs before my outward physical appearance.. If it were up to me, those things would be reversed..
..That still doesn't explain why my scar hadn't been given any significant 'healing' attention whatsoever, though.. The only thing I can think of that makes it unique is that it's the site of my Remnant injection, courtesy of the Scooper.. At the same time, the wound did heal just enough for it to close, but it didn't make much progress beyond tha-
Oh- shit..
I immediately press a few buttons on the coffee machine, then hover my mug over the sink as cautiously as I can.
...
Overflowed the coffee cup.. Again..
...
While I pour just enough to keep it from spilling, I can't help but notice some of the overflowed liquid is streaming down my hand.
It's scalding hot, obviously. It's not molten lava, but coffee straight out of the maker can leave some significant burns if kept in contact with your skin..
...
..I can barely even feel it..
...
...
With a quiet sigh, I set the mug down next to a collection of dirty ones and shake the liquid off my hand; wiping it off with a towel and finding it unnecessary to give it further attention..
After confirming the coffee didn't manage to do any damage whatsoever, I stare down at the sink for a moment..
..Look at all of those cups..
...
There's usually not much work for me to do at home, so washing the dishes is something I do shockingly often.. Y'know, since there's nothing I really need to prioritize over these menial chores..
Right now, however, there are no less than 13 mugs on this counter, but I'm struggling to stay focused long enough to wash them..
..These cups aren't old, either.. None of them were here 24 hours ago..
...
I've.. Fallen back into an old habit..
I don't mind a cup of coffee every now and again, but I drank it incessantly while I was chasing around my father for all those years.. I got over it after the trap Pizzeria Henry and I set up burnt down, but now I'm back to drinking-.. What, a large cup of coffee every two hours? Less than that, even? ..Sometimes with refills..?
...
..Thank god I don't have any gum in this house..
...
I slowly sip from my mug and set it aside on an island to my left, separating my kitchen from the living room.
..It's technically not an island, since it is connected to the rest of the kitchen counter, and juds out at a 90 degree angle and kinds works as a 'separator' between this room and the one in front of me. However, because of it's positioning and lighting system, it serves the exact same functionality and 'feel' of an actual island, so.. I've always just referred to it as 'the island'.
Who knows, maybe that's just me making excuses so I can keep being wrong and not have to correct myself. The world may never know.
(It's that second thing, 100%. Not even debatable on my end.)
...
Glancing outside the window above my sink, the bright orange streaming into my house tells me it's no later than 6:00 AM on the dot.
...
..That number is an all-too familiar reminder telling me it's time to get on with my day..
...
Pacing to the other side of the 'island', I make myself comfortable on one of the bar-stools. There is no 'dining table', as this counter more or less serves that purpose, and, well.. I don't exactly have many guests over..
Sitting politely in front of me are a few medical supplies, as well as a rag and some water.. I take a deep breath and begin to unbutton my shirt.
..Decided I'm gonna need to replace the bandages around my chest..
Unfortunately, it's looking like this is something that'll have to happen every morning.. It's not an issue of how injured I am or anything, but I need them to hold my chest together until it heals; and the bandages I've got on are.. soggy..
...
Once my shirt is thrown aside, I decide to do this in steps; unwrapping the bandages on the top half of my stomach, replacing them, then unwrapping the bandages of my lower half, and replacing them.
..I don't really like looking at the injury itself, but I've grown a little desensitized of it at this point..
...
Ordered a small supply of bandages yesterday, and got them the same day.. Actually, I ordered off of one of those food-delivery apps and convinced the delivery guy to drop by the market and pick up a few rolls of bandages for an extra tip.. Figured that plan would result in the bandages being at my door faster than any other grocery delivery service.. Kind of amazed a plan as stupid as that worked, but lo and behold..
...
...
..Sigh..
For a moment, my hands lose the motivation to keep working while I get caught in my mind once more.
...
..I don't know what I'm going to do..
I don't know what I'm going to say when Roxanne wakes up, I don't know what I'm going to say to Freddy when I talk to him again, I don't know how I'm going to respond when the gang asks why they haven't seen Cooper in a while, I don't know how to message Arin and make sure everything's alright with a clear conscious..
...
..Unfortunately.. I think these are all things I'm only able to tackle in the moment.. I just can't predict how anything is going to go, so I can't make plan around them..
...
I tug the last bandage tight, before cutting off the excess.
..Thoughts like these are what have been keeping me from focusing on the present.. My daily work around the house serve as nothing more than distractions.. I can't even fathom laying down and being alone with my thoughts; I would never be able to fall asleep..
...
The smallest part of me still feels the numbness from that night.. It's always just enough to prevent the swirl of uncomfortable emotions from projecting through my actions..
..It's an unusual feeling; I'm not sure if I've felt it before.. I don't like it, that's for sure..
..I can't stop thinking..
No matter the situation, my voice is crystal clear in my head, narrating everything I need to be concerned with as well as vain attempts at coming up with solutions.. My mind isn't cluttered, like it's been before; it just won't stop.. Like one singular train of thought, clearly and coherently running through everything I need to know in an organized fashion.. I'm so tired of hearing my own voice, and I haven't even said a word since I arrived home..
...
Nn.. That does sound familiar.. I just didn't care back when my father was-
That's enough.. Occupy yourself with something else, Mikey..
Sliding my shirt back on, I reach across the counter and take another swig of coffee.. It's only these short moments where the liquid is touching my lips that my voice finally goes silent for a second..
I need the energy, too.. Assuming drinking coffee even does anything for me with the state I'm in.
...
I set the mug back on the counter and begin re-buttoning my shirt.. Halfway through doing so, however..:
- piff, piff, piff.. -
..The sound of someone delicately descending carpeted steps behind me..
...
...
- "..Michael..?" -
...
..I don't respond immediately.. Instead, pushing down a few unpleasant emotions trying to manifest in my stomach and taking a long, silent deep breath.
...
I look over my shoulder and force myself to remain stoic while I glance at Roxanne.
"Oh- Jesus, 'fuck'..!" Roxanne reflexively mutters under her breath, visibly tensing up once she sees my white-pinprick eyes in the void of my sockets.
..Stare into the abyss, and I'll stare back into you..
...
..She's had better days; you can tell that much just by looking at her..
As soon as I got home I took Roxy in and fixed her up the best I could.. It took more than an hour to pluck all the glass stuck in her flesh, and some of the shards were far bigger than they seemed. There were a few I had to really put care into treating, since there were a couple shards that were several times the length sticking out of her skin.. I also noticed that those shards just so happened to be the parts Roxanne starting grasping at, right before she fell unconscious from the blood loss.
Thankfully, no individual wound was serious. It was only the sheer amount of them that caused any issue.
..Speaking of which.. I only really had one size of bandage on me, and it was the same roll of bandages I took to wrap around my stomach from.. And there were a lot of wounds..
I couldn't cut off a tiny sliver of bandage for each and every cut, so I frequently attempted covering as many spots as possible with one long bandage; which resulted in completely wrapping around her body and appendages in several spots.
All I mean to say is that, despite none of the injuries actually being very serious, there are so many parts of her body with bandages wrapped around them that it looks like she was attacked by a bear. Like; the amount of bandages you'd expect to see on a purple-heart wounded war-hero.
...
..I suppress a grimace as I'm reminded of a couple of her injuries in specific..
...
When I got home, I noticed there was a small but intense scratch on the palm of my metal hand; one I know wasn't there before that night.. The obvious explanation was that it was glass, but when I stopped to think about how that scratch came to be, I really didn't like the solution I came with..
The scratch was forceful and jagged, so it couldn't have been something I got from delicately carrying Roxanne to the car or something. The jagged-ness meant it wasn't a single impact, but an extended period of the glass being pressed against my hand. So..
My hand got cut while I was holding Roxanne by the throat.. That knowledge didn't feel very good.. There was a tiny shard of glass stuck in Roxanne's throat, so in addition to suffocating her, I was also pushing a sharp object further deeper into her neck as I held her there.
Once I figured that out, the memory of Roxy crying out in chokes and desperately batting at the hand gripping her throat felt quite a bit worse..
As if that wasn't enough, the top of her snout was heavily bruised. Turns out, when I threw her down right before she flung glass at me, she didn't actually catch herself in time.. How could she? I yanked her down by her arm, and one hand would 'never' have been enough to stop the momentum I tossed her down with. I threw her face first into the cold tiled floor - no fuckin' wonder she just sat there and caught her breath for a few seconds..
..I did more damage than I thought.. Story of my fuckin' life..
...
..nn, all I really mean to say is that her neck is wrapped in bandages too, as well as a small portion of her snout.
...
...
...
..I know the hollowed eyes are stressing her out, but I don't say anything for a while.. Only stare, and hope somehow telepathy will make this all better..
...
Mm..
Here's a start..
I grimace a little bit, and briefly avoid eye contact as I initiate this foreboding interaction.
"..I'm.. Staying.."
...
"..What?"
"..Something unexpected happened; Cooper's death is going to remain a secret between me and Arin.. I've got to stay now.."
...
"Wait, wait, I-.. Hold on, I don't understand what-.. Where are we..?" Roxanne asks, stepping out from the stairway.
"My home. Chica is with Trudge, Freddy and Monty are with Arin at Cooper's old house."
"Mike, was the Pizzaplex-..? Are we ever going back to the Pizzaplex..?"
"Yeah.. Arin and I are keeping this whole thing a secret, like I said earlier.."
...
Roxanne straightens herself out and takes a another couple steps forward, timidly looking around the ground floor before staring back at me.
,,She folds her hands in front of her politely, which is very unusual behavior for her.. I don't think she knows what to do with her hands.
...
"..When am I going home..?" Roxanne asks the same way a scared kid would at a slumber party.
"..I don't know, a few days.."
...
I blink, which somehow causes Roxy to wince slightly..
...
"..Why are-..? W-Why are your eyes-? How are your eyes doing that?"
"I lost my eyes.. You hit them with glass, remember..?"
"Y.. Yeah, but.. Does that happen to everyone when they lose their eyes..?"
"Well.. No, I'm.."
"W-.. What the fuck am I looking at then? What are those white things?"
...
"My soul."
...
"Souls are real..?"
"I guess so.."
...
"Why are-..? Why is it doing that, then..? H-How come your soul is doing that eye thing?" Roxanne points, as if showing me where my own eyes are.
...
...
"I'm dead."
...
Roxanne exhales out her nose like she's been accidentally holding her breath for too long; continuing to stare at me with yet another expression I don't think I've seen before.
It's already starting to be too much for her brain to handle.. Her gaze reflects perfectly that she really doesn't understand anything that's going on, but knows she doesn't like it either.. Those emotions are sitting on a base of 'fear', though.. Not intense or crippling fear, just a standard fear of the unknown..
...
"..What does that even mean..?"
"I died, and came back.. Remnant lets my soul make up for what I don't have, I guess.."
"Okay but you're dead..?"
"..Yes?"
...
"I-I don't get it, Mike.."
"I don't really get it either.."
...
"That's your fuckin' soul..?" Roxanne repeats, motioning at me from the other side of the island.
"Right.."
...
"Th-.. That's really hard to belie-.."
...
She keeps cutting herself off.. As much of an absurdity everything is, she now has absolute proof that all of it is real..
...
"..My eyes will heal.."
...
...
"What the fuck does that even mean..? I-, Mike- What the fuck..?"
"..."
...
"Is Cooper actually dead..?"
"Yeah.."
...
"You killed Cooper..? With the knife you brought into my room?"
"..Yeah.."
"You fuckin' killed him..?"
"..."
...
"Mike, I-.. I wasn't friends with him or anything, but I knew him my whole life.. Now he's just dead?"
"He's gone.."
"Didn't he build me..?"
"Kind of. I'm not sure if he personally did, but he got the plans from-.."
I can't help but hesitate before mentioning his name..
...
"..What..? From William, right..? The old owner of Freddy's or whatever?" Roxanne finishes for me.
"..From my father, yeah.."
"Oh fuck, that was your-..?"
...
...
"Nn.. That's your *soul*, Mike?"
Sigh..
This is the third time she's asked, but what else can I expect from a revelation like this?
..I understand that something like that isn't just.. 'Whatever'-able.. Roxanne's just thinking about it and her natural sense of reason is trying to make what she's seeing in front of her seem impossible..
"..."
...
"Wait- so those fuckin' robots you worked with actually, like.. They had kids inside them?"
"..Ye-"
"Mike- Jesus christ, *What*? So it wasn't even fucking robots, it was kids trying to kill you?"
"..."
"How could that even happen? What the fuck- how am I supposed to just go 'yeah, I understand that'?" Roxanne stretches her arms out like she's defending her argument.
"..."
...
..Unfortunately, sitting here silently and letting her think about it isn't calming her down.. In fact, after a few moments, Roxanne's breath actually starts to get a little heavier; and her mannerisms a bit more erratic..
...
"Y-You're actually a fucking corpse..! You're not even real!"
"Roxanne, calm down.."
"..What the fuck! Y-You fucking-..! You gutted yourself in front of me!"
"Roxanne.." I sigh, standing up from the bar-stool.
Methinks she's in for a panic attack.. Can't say I wasn't expecting this..
"..Y-Your heart! You actually just stood there and died in front of me, you f-fucking-..!" Roxanne emphatically explains, using dramatic arm motions and occasionally backing up a bit.
"Stop - You're freaking yourself out.."
"I-It was-..! Your stomach opened like a f-fucking door-! D-Don't tell me to calm down!"
"Breathe for a second.. Everything's fine.."
"Mike, it was all hanging out of you l-like it was..!" Roxanne stutters, holding her hands in front of her stomach to imitate how I was holding my innards from falling too far out. "..I-It was about to fall on my f-fucking floor..! A-And..!"
"..."
"Y-.. Your skin t-tore and sound-.. sounded like it-.."
...
I watch as something unpleasant stirs in her stomach, slowly replacing her panic with a new and equally unpleasant feeling..
"..."
...
...
"..I.. I don't feel-.. I-I think I'm gonna be-.."
"Bathroom is over here.."
...
I take yet another swig of the coffee on the counter, resting in the newly uncomfortable silence..
...
..I'm really not sure how to make things better.. I'm not sure if it will even matter if I *do*..
There's so much for Roxanne to think about now; we've barely touched the tip of the iceberg and she already almost lost her mind..
...
..I take.. another drink..
"Since when do you drink coffee..?" Roxanne's voice weakly emanates from the living room behind me.
I look over my shoulder on the bar stool. Wolfie's still laying across my couch with her arm over her face, like she's actually physically sick..
"..I've always liked coffee, but it used to be a one-cup-a-day thing.."
"It isn't anymore?"
"This is something like my fourth cup this morning.. I think I drink it when I'm stressed.."
"Jesus.."
"Uh huh."
...
"How much liquid can you fit in that stomach of yours?"
"Apparently more than-"
"Agh-, fuuuck-! Gh..!" Roxanne suddenly groans, bringing her other arm to her face as well like she's trying to block out light.
"..?"
...
"..Jeez, I.. I can't stop thinking about it, Mike - I said the word 'stomach' and immediately remembered seeing yours out in your fucking arms.."
"Mm.."
...
"Why would you ever fucking do that in front of somebody?" Roxanne grumbles, somehow letting annoyance power through this 'illness' of hers.
"It was the only way I could think of proving to you what I was.."
"It's all I can fucking think about anymore, I d-.. It's like all I see when I close my eyes, and I hate it."
"..."
...
"..What's wrong with you..?"
...
..Unfortunately, at a time like this, that question's far too generic for me to guess what kind of answer she wants..
"..What do you mean?"
"I mean what's wrong with you right now?" Roxanne moans, lifting her arms to peek at me. "..You usually mutter apologies out like a broken record when I whine about shit like this, but you haven't even said sorry yet.."
"Because I'm not."
...
"Fuck.." Roxanne huffs, covering her face again.
...
I finish my cup of coffee and stand up.
"..I don't like how things went, but I didn't do any of that for fun.." I reluctantly admit, moving to the sink. "..At first, I wasn't planning on coming to see you at all. It wasn't until I decided you deserved to know the truth that I decided to drop by your room and do what I did.."
"..You couldn't have just told me about your 'deal' ?"
"Would you have believed me?"
"..I would have tried.."
"That wasn't good enough for me."
...
...
..Roxanne moans and wraps her arms around her head again, like her thoughts are physically hurting her brain.. I can sense a hint of frustration in her tone, which bodes poorly..
...
"I usually fuckin' hate it when you say sorry, but this time I really wouldn't mind.."
"..I hated it, but I don't think what I did was a mistake.. The options were 'take things to the extreme' or 'leave you in the dark forever.' "
"What's wrong with you right now?"
"Nothing's wrong.. I'm just not 'lying' to you anymore.."
"This is how it feels to get the truth from you?" Roxanne quickly retorts, peering at me under her arms. "I've been wrenching the truth from out of you for almost a year now, and this is the feeling I'm rewarded with? This is how it fucking feels when you're honest with me?"
"Yes."
"That was rhetorical, dipshit.." Roxanne bites, pushing herself until sitting upright to stare at me with displeasure.
...
..I internally sigh, already knowing this is about to turn into an argument..
...
"..I'm not sure what you expect from me.."
"How? How can you possibly not know what I want right now?"
"What *do* you want?" I respond, shrugging slightly with the cup in my hand. "..You obviously hate the truth, so what am I supposed to change? Want me to start lying to you again?"
"All I want is for you to tell me the truth without one of us being mortally wounded..! I don't want you to lie to me, but I also reeaaallllyy wish I wasn't covered in fucking bandages right now..!"
"That wasn't my fault. You-"
"Bullshit 'that wasn't my fault'..!" Roxanne barks, pushing herself further upright and pointing at me from afar. "If I didn't fucking kill myself for you, you would never have stayed..!"
"As soon as I noticed Arin was keeping everything a secret, I would have came back."
"How the fuck was I supposed to know Arin would have kept it a secret at all..?! I had to go get you, because I didn't think anyone else would..!"
"I didn't know Arin was doing that either. If I knew he wasn't going to tell anybody what happened, I wouldn't have went to tell 'you' what happened."
"Oh- so you would have kept lying to me?!"
" *Yes.* I would have kept lying to you, like I've always been."
"Fuck you-! W-What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
..I stop washing the cup to look up at Roxanne for a second..
"..You're about to start lying too, Roxanne. You should understand how it feels to not have a choice."
"Are you fucking *threatening* me right now?!"
"No, but are you about to go and tell Freddy about what happened? Are you about to go explain to Chica that I'm just a corpse, who killed Cooper with the knife currently in your room? Are you gonna tell Monty that Cooper was about to murder Evan?"
"I'm not telling people anything! That isn't lying! I'm just-!"
"They're going to *ask*, Roxanne. They don't know what happened, and they're going to ask everyone if they know what went down."
"I can work around it!"
"How? What would you say if Monty walked up to you right now and asked what happened to Cooper?"
"I can just say 'I don't know' and-!"
"You do know, though. You just lied. "
"Y-You-..!"
"..."
...
...
Roxanne aggressively flops backward on the couch with a whiny - 'Ghh!' -
...
"..D-Don't fucking yell at me..!"
...
...
I sigh and put the cup down, knowing I'm not gonna be able to focus on doing any dishes right now..
...
"..I wasn't yelling.."
...
"Look, e-everything just fucking hurts right now, and it's making me sad, okay..?!" Roxanne whines, unable to push out nearly as much force as before.
"I know.."
...
...
"W-What if we both say it? What if I say sorry for your eyes? W-Would you say sorry then?"
"..Rox, I can hear you starting to break down again.. Calm down.."
...
"I-I just don't like thinking that getting myself all fucked up like this was the only way things could have happened..! I-It makes me feel like it's gonna happen again, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.."
"..Is this related to saying 'sorry' in some way..?"
"I-If you say sorry, it'll make me feel like something went wrong.." Roxanne grumbles, twisting around on the couch as if she's unfortunately aware of how pathetic her logic sounds. "So if things don't go wrong next time, I won't get fucked up like this.."
"Things aren't that simple, wolf.."
"I *know*, just-..! I-It'll make me feel better..!"
...
...
Sigh..
...
"..I've got some medicine in the bathroom; you want something for the pain..?"
...
"Y-Yes please.."
...
Roxanne sits up with a heavy - sniff - while I place the medicine bottle and a glass of water on the coffee table just beside the couch she's on.
...
"..I don't understand why you're still breaking down over this.." I mutter, despite knowing how unfavorable that sentence is gonna go over with her.
"F-Fuck you, Mike.."
"I understand why it's a lot to take in, but there really isn't anything wrong.. You're not in danger or anything, and you weren't even remotely close with Cooper-"
"Can you please just stop fucking talking for a few minutes?"
"..Alright.."
I leave everything on the table and walk back into the kitchen while the sound of ice rattling in a glass tinkles behind me.
...
...
...
- Pompf -
Just as I reach the sink again, the sound of Roxanne falling back on the couch warns me another interaction might be starting soon..
...
...
"..My head hurts.." Roxanne comments, voice heavily muffled from her face being buried in a pillow.
"Mm.."
...
"The medicine didn't work.."
"It takes a few minutes for it to have an effect. You should take two pills, if you haven't already."
"Took four.."
Way to turn ibuprofen into a narcotic.
"Okay.. Don't take any more for a while, then.."
...
...
"..Sitting up makes my head fuzzy.."
"Mm.."
...
"..I'm.. Dizzy.."
"Listing off your symptoms really isn't gonna help us any."
"I'm just fuckin' saying - I don't know what's happening to me.."
"You're still feeling the effects of the blood-loss; I don't think you're sick or anything, but don't move if you can help it."
"Fine.."
"..."
...
...
"..You're a terrible host, Mike.."
Sigh..
"Wasn't really planning on having anyone over.. You want something to eat? It'll probably help the medicine work a bit better."
"I don't feel like eating.."
"Well.. Think I'm gonna make you eat something anyway.." I state flatly, opening a cabinet over the kitchen counter. "You were asleep for more than a day, and your body needs energy to heal.."
"Why the fuck do you even ask me anything if you're just-..?" Roxanne grumbles into her pillow, trailing off until I can't hear her.
...
"Gonna make eggs."
"Whatever.."
...
..A few hours have passed.. Understandably, Roxanne and I have talked about a few interesting topics since I make breakfast, but the talks themselves didn't result in anything exciting happening..
Right now, I'm out a few meters into the backyard; prodding a couple pieces of burning wood in the middle of my burn pile I've disguised to look like a regular fire-pit.
I end up burning as much of my trash as I can.. Not great for the air quality from what I can tell, but whatever.. My alternative is taking it out to a dumpster somewhere, where some company can pick it up and burn it themselves, so I'll give myself a pass on this cardinal sin I'm committing.
..Of course, my house is pretty secluded from any other small 'villages' you can find out here.. Surrounded by forest, for the most part.. I lucked out by getting a half-decent house out in the middle of nowhere; which really mattered at the time of buying it, considering I was.. kinda just a bag of flesh at the time..
...
..Roxanne's not having a great day..
I've been trying to leave her be for the most part; just so she can take the time to think about everything that happened and draw conclusions from them without any prodding from my end.. There's a lot to think about, and I'm worried that personally trying to work her through everything might only clutter her thoughts..
This 'strategy' of mine has had its ups and downs.. Letting Roxanne think about things at her own pace seems like the quickest way for her to come to terms with everything, but the consequence of not actively engaging in conversation with her is that I never really know what she's thinking about at any given time.. I'm more or less letting her 'stew' in all this new information without supervision.. Because of this, it's almost impossible to tell when Roxanne's starting to have a 'moment'..
Most of the time, I'll come downstairs and see her moving stuff around in my kitchen, laying on my living room couch, or off exploring my house a little more. We'll often we only go about our business quietly, in a silent understanding kind of way. Other times Roxanne'll start up a bit of small talk if she's in a (relatively) good mood..
..But every once in a while, I'll stumble upon Roxanne on the verge of breaking down again.. Like, 'barely holding together' level of emotional episode..
It happens at seemingly random, which is the downside of this 'let her do the thinking herself' strategy I've adopted.. She's usually laying on the couch when it happens, and doesn't like to make it obvious that she's having a moment, but it's a little too easy to read Roxanne's attitude from her body language nowadays.. Each time I ask what she's thinking about during those 'moments', the answer's completely different every time, so I'm unable to provide a singular solution to this problem that I can just re-use.
..Thankfully, Roxanne hasn't full-on 'broken down' so far.. There were a couple close calls, but she still hasn't actually devolved into a sobbing snotty mess yet.. I'm hoping that'll remain the case for the rest of the night..
...
..Ha.. I remember when Rox told me one of the reasons she was fond of me was because I was a mystery; which made her wanna learn more about me..
Well? Was it worth it?
...
A pleasant gust of wind fills the air with the rustling of leaves.. And fills my lungs with a torrent of smoke.
..I'd move my around to a different part of the fire, but I'd bet you literally anything the wind would blow the smoke that way, too..
...
..Maybe I'll just go do something else for a few seconds, then.
I slide the glass door open and poke my head inside.. Roxanne hasn't moved much since I went out; still face down on my couch.
...
"..Please don't gnaw on my pillo-"
"I'm not chewing on your fucking pillows, Mike.."Roxy responds, mouth full of pillow.
...
"You're like an actual dog sometimes."
"I'm not a dog, either.."
...
I take a step inside, but keep my hand on the door-handle.
...
"..You want to come outside for a bit..?"
"No. Why? What's outside?"
"Nothing."
"..Alright, fine.." Roxanne mutters, groggily pushing herself off my couch.
Persuasive as always, Michael.
"..."
...
"You sure people won't see me?" Wolfie asks, dragging a blanket I didn't know I owned behind her.
"Outside?"
"..The fuck else would I mean?"
"No - there's no one around for miles.. Why does it matter if someone sees you..?"
..It's not like she isn't supposed to be out here.. Not breakin' any rules..
Roxanne makes it over by the door and stares down at me for a few seconds.
...
"..I just don't feel like talking to anyone.."
"There's no one around. And even if there was, nobody's gonna come hauling into someone else's property just because they saw a robot wolf on premises.."
"Fine - let's go."
...
...
"You left a bite mark on the pillow, by the way."
"I'm about to leave a bite mark on you if you don't turn around and walk out the damn door."
...
Mm..
...
..Fuck it-
I toss the remainder of my charred-ass stick into the fire and put my hands on my hips.. The end of the damn thing keeps softening too much for me to move the wood around, and I'm about tired of trying.
...
..Roxanne wandered off somewhere.. She was grumbling about something before casually waltzing into the nearby woods like a curious feline.
Pretty sure she'll be fine.. She doesn't really strike me as someone who'd wanna dirty themselves up by foraging through a forest, but nature like this is a relatively uncommon sight for her, so her desire to explore a little overshadowed any sense of self-preservation.
Worst case scenario, she gets lost and has to follow the pillar of smoke back to my house.
...
- F-shh.. -
...
..Rather sudden movement in the bushes..
I look over my shoulder, but Roxanne's too far in the woods for me to see her.
...
"Roxanne?"
- "What?" - Wolfie distantly responds, voice echoing once or twice.
"Nothing- just making sure you're still alive.."
...
I turn back to look at the fire.
..It's a little chilly out today, but a blazing fire burning with the sun right above my head still seems a little out of place.
Makes the smoke a little obvious too. Hmm..
...
Oh well.. No one's gonna come out here just to check if what I'm burning is legal or not.
I drum my fingers on my sides while I think if there's anything else I feel like incinerating..
...
..Hear Roxanne's grassy footsteps behind me.. Guess she finished her little expedition..
...
..Then, the footsteps abruptly halt a good 6 or 7 steps behind me, as if that isn't the most suspicious thing she could possibly do.
...
I glance over my shoulder, and sure enough, Wolfie's doing something she knows she probably shouldn't be..
With a facial expression that really screams 'I don't know what the I'm supposed to do', Roxanne's politely standing a few feet behind me, holding a live squirrel right in front of her chest with both hands.
Squirrel ain't even panicking. It doesn't look like it knows what the fuck's happening right either.
..The three of us just kinda stare at each other for a few seconds..
...
...
Funnily enough, Roxanne's and the Squirrel's tails reflexively flick at the same time.
"..Is that a squirrel?"
"I don't know - I think so.." Roxanne quietly mutters, warily peeking at the creature vibing in her hands.
"Why?"
"Can I put it down?"
"..Are you asking my permission?"
"I'm asking if it's okay - I don't know what to make of this thing.."
"If it's okay?"
"I don't fuckin' know- is it dangerous?" Roxanne anxiously whisper-yells at me, as if she's worried raising her voice might cause the creature in her hand to explode.
"..Why did you pick up the damn squirrel if you didn't know if it was dangerous?"
"Mike- just answer me..! It's not going to turn around and bite me or some shit right?"
"I don't know, probably not-"
"Whatthefuckdoyoumean 'probably'..?!"
"Calm down - you're thirty times that thing's size.."
"I'm not dying to a fuggin' wild animal today-! What do I do with it..?!"
"Put it down, it's probably just going to run off and-"
Just as I take a step toward her and start to lift my hand, Roxanne interprets my advice to 'put it down' as overhand-throwing the damn thing with all her might; sailing the poor creature through the air for several seconds before it disappears in the trees of the woods.
"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-.."
...
By the time I turn back around, Roxanne's already gone, and I catch my backdoor slamming shut out of the corner of my eye.
...
..Gotta admit..
..Wasn't expecting that..
"Don't catapult the local wildlife."
"It was fucking-! I didn't want to get bit!"
"It would've bit your hand if it felt like biting you at all." I respond, sliding the door shut behind me and take a couple steps into my kitchen as I talk. "Where the hell are you?"
"In your walls, dipshit."
I hear running water down the small hallway to; so I'm gonna assume that means she's washing her hands in the bathroom.
"Why did you even pick it up?"
"I wanted to see what it fucking was!"
"Under no circumstance should seeing 'what something was' result in that object being hurled 20 feet in the air."
"It was cute and fuzzy! I thought it'd be fine..!"
"It *was* fine - it didn't do anything to you."
"It moved weird!" Roxanne barks from wherever the hell she is; her voice echoing off the hallway walls.
"What does that even mean?"
"It was all frickin' jumpy and erratic..! Dogs don't move like that - their movements are smooth n' shit..!"
"Did it *look* like a dog?"
"I don't fucking know-! I didn't think about it that hard! I just wanted to touch the frickin' fuzzy thing!"
"That's fine - touch them all you want; just don't trebuchet the 'fuzzy thing' into the nearby woods."
"It's fine..! Squirrels fall from trees all the time..!"
"No they do not- and that isn't the same as being flung into a tree by a crazy wolf lady."
"I'm 'not' a crazy w-!"
"Stop wasting all my damn water." I interrupt, speedwalking down my hallway after noticing the sound of running water hasn't stopped for almost a full minute now..
"Chill- I'm just washing my fucking hands..!"
"How long does that take you?"
"I was holding a wild beast! It probably had diseases and shit all over it..!"
Yeah- keep referring to the completely docile, adolescent young squirrel a sixty-eighth of your size as a 'wild beast'. That'll sure make you seem badass.
"Even if it did, it's not gonna stick to you like glue. A little soap and a four second rinse is plenty."
" 'A lItTlE sOaP aNd A fOuR sEcOnD rInSe Is-' "
I'll kill this woman.
"How old are you?" I ask rhetorically, grabbing the rim of the doorway and peeking into the bathroom. At the same time, Roxanne turns her head and raises a hand from the sink to point at me once I'm visible.
"Fuck you- I'm like *one*. Sue me for not having the same friggin' experiences you've had..!"
"I get that it was unsettling, but surely you noticed the squirrel was in absolutely no way aggressive while you were holding it, right?"
"I 'thought' I was holding it tight enough that it couldn't move!"
"So what the hell was the transition in your mind that connected 'hold the squirrel tight so it can't move' to 'fling the tiny creature 40 feet away'?"
"I didn't fucking know! I didn't know if letting go of it would make it bite me right away so I just frickin' threw the thing..!" Roxanne huffs, dramatically drying her hands on the hand-towel hanging next to the sink for a moment.
"You sure did."
Roxanne wipes her hands dry one last time, then provocatively steps toward me to get up in my face while arguing. I simply cross my arms and stare down at her bemused.
"Mike- it's fine! Sorry if it got hurt, but it isn't the end of the world for that friggin' thing..! I'm sure it appreciates you white-knighting for it, but you aren't-..! Y-..! nn.."
...
...
"..?"
"..."
...
Um..?
...
Roxanne exhales, lowering her pointer finger.. Her expression slowly melted from the furious annoyance she usually wears during our banter to a far less intimidating glare.. Her eyes are still narrow, like she's annoyed with me, but otherwise, her expression and lowered snout reflect recession and uncertainty; like she got really uncomfortable halfway through our fight.
...
"..Wolf?"
...
...
"Mike, I-.. I really don't like those eyes.." Roxanne whines under her breath.
Ah..
...
..I guess she did just get awfully close to my face; she must've freaked herself out getting that good a' look at my sockets.. I had almost forgotten my eyes are still these white dots..
...
"..Well, sorry, I.. I get they're unusual but they're still just eyes, for the most part.." I weakly try to reassure her, taken a little off guard by the sudden topic change. "..They aren't about to jump out and get you or anything.."
...
Roxanne suddenly responds with a quiet, whiny huff; before timidly extending her arm toward my face.
..I instinctively lean back a bit, thinking she's about to try touching my 'eyes'; but Rox grabs my shoulder with her other hand to keep me still..Thankfully, she just touches the side of my face with the back of her hand for a few seconds.
...
..As if I failed a test, Roxanne's grimace only grows a little less comfortable the longer her hand rests on my cheek.
Dunno what she's checking right now.. Her hand is warm though, so it's-
oh..
...
"..so cold.." Roxanne comments, soft and melancholic.
"..."
...
"..You're actually dead, aren't you..?"
...
"..Yeah.."
"I've never even actually seen you alive, have I..?"
"I died three decades ago.."
"So you were dead the moment I first saw you. You've been dead this whole time.."
"..."
...
"..How am I supposed to just be 'okay' with that..?"
"I'm.. fine, wolf.. I'm still here and everything, I'm just.."
"I don't like thinking about it. I don't want you to fuckin'.. Look- I just hate thinking 'Mike was killed one day' - it makes me really fuckin' sad.."
"Rox, you don't need to be upset about it.. I don't really know what to tell you; I'm still here.."
...
...
"..Just don't die again, alright?"
"I'll do my best.."
"Promise?"
"No."
..I respond almost immediately, and without really thinking about it.. After letting my answer ring out, I find myself struggling to maintain eye-contact..
"..What?"
...
"..I mean-, I won't.. I'm not gonna just up-and-die for good one day, so you don't need to worry about that.."
...
"..So 'promise'..?"
"..."
...
"Michael." Roxanne emphasizes, firmly planting her other hand on my shoulder as well. "Why- what's wrong with you? What's so hard?"
"..."
...
"Why? Why is *this* something you can't promise..?"
"No, no, it's not that I'm gonna die soon or anything, I'm just-.." I begin, sheepishly breaking eye contact and looking to the side. "..I've just decided that I'm-.. I'm not making promises anymore.."
...
"Why? What the hell..? What's gotten into you?"
"Look- it's because I don't keep them.." I admit, holding my arms out by my sides and glancing down at Roxanne again. "..You know this - I kept lying to you after I promised not to, I almost never told you I was having an 'episode' even though I promised I would; how many promises have I even kept? Are there any?"
"Oh- Mike, don't fuggin'-.. Don't you give me that shit - I know for a fact you at least tried to keep them.. Yes, it'd be really nice if you just flat-out did what you promised you'd do, but I'll take any improvement at this point, alright?"
"It barely mattered.. I know I forced myself to tell the truth about trivial stuff, but every time it was something that actually mattered, I'd get deceptive about it again. What's the point if I break that promise exclusively when it matters?"
"Well I'm not done working on you yet." Roxanne rebukes, forcefully poking my chest with a finger. "It's fine if it takes a little time - I'll figure you out eventually."
"I'm.. Not sure about that.."
"Well I am.. Plus, fuckin'-, what do you even have left to lie to me about? Is this not as deep as your secrets go-? Is there something even worse than haunted murder-children and walking corpses that you're hiding from me still?"
...
"..Well.. Not really, but-.."
"Then we're trying again."
"No-, Rox, 'promises' aren't a trial-and-error thing.. You either break them or you don't.."
"Since when do you decide what a fuckin' promise is?"
"I don't, that's just what they are-"
"I don't care." Rox interrupts, pushing off my shoulders so I'd get out of the bathroom doorway. As soon as I take those couple steps back, Roxanne follows and stops right in front of me again; effectively having just moved this conversation from the bathroom to the hallway. "I made the promise. I decide if you've broken it or not."
"..Since when do *you* decide what a promise is?" I parrot, holding my hands up defensively.
"I decide what my promise is." Roxanne retorts, standing tall and crossing her arms. "I can give people as many chances as I want."
...
..I only respond with a bemused glare, like I'm saying 'what the hell are you even talking about anymore?'
However, Roxanne takes this as her message getting across, and turns to march back down my hallway with a huff.
...
"..How many chances are you gonna give me before you figure out I'm not gonna improve?" I call after her, walking to keep pace with her after a few seconds.
"Shut uppp.." Roxy groans like an angsty teen. "You'll see."
"Rox- I don't think you know just how bad I was."
"You're already the fuckin' worst."
"How many times do you think I lie to you a day?"
"What the hell are you even talking about?"
"Give me an actual answer - if you could estimate the amount of lies I tell you in one full night-shift, what would that number be?"
"A million."
"Wolf.."
"What the fuck-, do you want me to count?" Roxanne huffs, stopping and abruptly turning around once we exit the hallway and reach the kitchen; exaggerating a shrug while she twists at her waist.
"Look-, I know it's weird, but estimate.."
"I don't know - Two?"
I almost laugh when she says that number.
"Wow."
"Mike- you don't lie to me nonstop, just sometimes. And you've been getting better since you promised to stop."
"My estimate would be closer to ten, wolf."
"You do not lie to me ten times a fuckin' day-"
"Yes, I do. You're just completely oblivious to the other eight times because I'm a good at it. No one else ever catches my lies; you only catch a couple because you're expecting dishonesty from me, and you're way more perceptive about this sort of thing than the others are." I defend, stopping once I reach a good conversation distance.
"How the fuck do you even find 'ten whole things' to lie to me about in one day..?! You doing it for fun now..?!"
"I had to be a little dishonest about things I'm fairly certain no one else has to lie about.." I respond, gesturing to my face. Specifically, the purple sickly skin and the void n' pinprick eyes.
"Fuck it- y'know what? Doesn't matter." Roxy huffs, leaning down to face level with me. "You lied to me at all today?"
"What?"
"Have you lied to me today? Even once?"
...
"I don't.. think so.."
"Cause you having nothing left to lie to me about, yeah?"
"I.. Don't know; less than before at least.."
"So you hardly even have a reason to lie anymore. Makes your job a lot easier, doesn't it?"
"Rox, I-"
"I'm done talking about this." Roxanne interrupts, turning around and marching towards the glass back door; first dismissively waving me off, then waving me along with her. "..I want to go back outside, come on."
...
"Don't touch anymore animals.." I grumble, pacing along behind her.
...
..Don't really know where she went..
I mean, it's a little difficult to see very far. Tagged along on a trail through the woods with wolfie, and just kinda kept walkin'. Trees and vegetation just about everywhere.
...
Whatever.
I keep marchin' forward, pushing a few shrubbery branches out of the way.
Not really all that worried about her either.. I have the feeling she'll re-emerge from somewhere eventually.
...
- "fuck-!" -
- Pompf -
..Found her..
Currently sprawled on the ground, face-planted in in the dirt trail.. Have a funny feeling she tripped over a root..
...
"..You alright?"
"I hate it here."
"Why the hell do you keep gravitating into the woods at every opportunity, then?" I chide, nonchalantly sliding my hands in my pockets and strolling to her side.
"Fuck you."
"..Got a bunch of your bandages dirty just then.."
"Fuck you.." Roxanne groans, finally pushing herself off the ground.
"Where'd you run off to?"
"Nowhere; just wanted to see what something was.."
Roxy huffs, brushing herself off; though knowing for certain that the incredible amount of dirt stains on her clothes and fur aren't just gonna rub off anymore.
"Mm.."
"It was a spider, I think."
"Neat..? It freak you out a little?"
"No." She emphasizes, finishing brushing herself off and marching onward; expecting me to follow her. "Those things are fine - they don't do anything."
"..The squirrel freaked you out, though..?"
"The squirrel might've bit me.."
"Spiders can bite."
"My ass."
..I stare quizzically at the back of her head as she walks away, shortly after trailing after her.
"..I mean- not all spiders will, but everyone knows spiders can bite.."
"They don't even have mouths."
"What?"
"They're too small."
...
"..Spiders have mouths, wolf.."
"What?"
"Just about all living things have a mouth-like thing. Insects just have small ones."
"..No- I looked at it, and didn't see a mouth."
"They're too small to see; they don't look the same as ours do."
"I just looked at it, Mike- all it has is this little fuggin' ball head."
"Spiders are carnivores.."
"OoOh boy Mike-, you gonna tell me about it's carnissal teeth?"
"What I'm saying is that all animals need to eat, so they all have mouths. Spiders are carnivores, so they need to both have a mouth and teeth to bite with."
"Fuck off.." Roxanne grumbles, taking a second to grab a heavy root and climb up a random spike in the path's elevation. "What do they hunt - purple men?"
"They catch other insects in webs.. I can't believe you've never heard of this before.." I respond, taking the hand Roxanne's offering me and using her help to climb up the dirt ledge at a much faster pace. "Insects often eat other insects. Animals need mouths to eat their prey with."
"Spiders aren't animals."
..What?
"..The hell do you mean 'spiders aren't animals'?"
"Spiders are insects." Roxanne responds, as confident as I've ever heard her before.
...
..Think I just felt my brain perform a factory reset..
"Insects are animals, wolf. Spiders technically class as arachnids or something, so they aren't even really insects, but that doesn't matter - they're all animals." I emphasize, pacing to walk alongside her, instead of behind.
"The f-.. I thought animals were shit like the squirrel I picked up..!"
"Rox-, those are animals too."
"No fuckin' way both of those things are animals."
"We're all animals."
"We are not."
F-..
...
"..You're the most stubborn 1st grader I've ever met.." I grumble under my breath.
"Fuck. You."
"What do you think an animal is?"
"I don't know anymore.."
"Animals are just.. Pretty much anything that's 'alive' and 'isn't a plant'."
"I thought animals were the ones with fur and walk around on four legs and shit..!" Roxanne explains, pointing at the floor and moving her finger around to as if charading a 4-legged animal moving about at our feet.
"..Oh- mammals?"
"Maybe..?!"
"Mammals are just vertebrates with-.. 'Animals' with hair and mammary glands. We are mammals, by the way.."
"What the fuck is a mammary gland? I have one of th-?"
"Boobs."
I point at the boobs.
- CLANK -
Whoof..
She might've cut my hand off with that swipe if I wasn't using my metal arm..
"FUCK you-, *Gross*..!"
"Ow."
"J-Jesus fuck..!"
"It's only funny when *you* joke like that, huh?" I ask sarcastically, rubbing my metal arm with my other hand.
"A little warning would've been nice, dipshit.."
"Mm." I hum, bringing my hands back down to my sides. "I'm serious though; we are mammals. That's the reason breasts exist."
"Where are your breasts, purple freak?"
"Men have breasts."
"You have manboobs."
"That's not what I-.. No I don't, first of all - my whole chest constantly looks like it's about to implode.." I respond, looking down at myself. "Side effect of being hollowed ou-"
"Don't- Don't. Don't.." Roxanne suddenly groans, covering a portion of her face with a hand. "..I just managed to get that image out of my head - shut up.."
"Mm.. Right, sorry. I probably shouldn't joke about that yet.."
...
...
"It's so backwards.." Roxanne grumbles, taking her hand off her face when she sees the creek in front of us.
"..What is?"
...
"Why the fuck am I the one getting fucked up by something horrible happening to you?"
"Mm.. Well- that's not hard to believe, actually." I begin, looking side to side before noticing a fallen log a little ways away we can use to bridge the gap and beckoning Roxanne along with me. "No one likes thinking about something bad happening to someone important to them."
"I know, but it happened to you.. Literally all I did was watch as you-.. nn, *tore yourself open*, and somehow I'm the one who's suffering from that?"
"No one's blaming you; it wasn't a pleasant sight."
"I know but-.. Gh, you're the one who tore open..! You should feel shittier than I do, but I'm still the one doing all the bitching today." Roxanne huffs, climbing on top of the log after me.
"Mm.. There's a lot to explain, and I don't really think now's the time; but trust me - it does make sense that you're a bit more beaten up about it than I am."
"..Gotta learn to shrug shit off like you can.." Roxanne mutters, sarcastically(?)
"I couldn't shrug it all off, unfortunately.. Still tons of things I need to think about, and there's a lot I really don't know how I plan to tackle from here.." I respond, scratching the back of my head and casually hopping off the other end of the log.
"You sure as shit can hide it.."
"Ha.. I'm not sure how well I can, honestly. I know for a fact when we get home that I'm not gonna be able to stop myself from pouring my ump-teenth cup of coffee.."
...
..I glance over my shoulder once I notice I haven't heard wolfie jump down behind me..
...
"Hehe.. You're so small down there.."
"..What are you - ten?"
"What are you - ten inches tall?"
"Get down from the damn log."
"Fine." She huffs, approaching the edge of the giant wooden cylinder. "..You need to chill the fuck out with the coffee, by the way."
"I know.. It's an old habit, so hopefully I'll-"
- Whump -
...
..Roxanne's face-first the dirt again..
...
"..Gotta land on your feet, wolfie.."
"Fuck. You."
...
We made it to a clearing. Honestly, this is where I was hoping we'd end up, and planned to lead us if we weren't heading the right way; but Roxanne basically led the ship here herself.
It's nothing spectacular; there's nothing in the clearing.. Just a wide circle of grass surrounded by the woods. It pretty much only serves as a good landmark and/or stopping point for trekking out here; which Roxanne could make good use of if she's gonna be living here for the next few days.
Speaking of which, Roxanne's laying on her back in long grass; limbs kinda sprawled out. Thankfully, it's on purpose this time.
...
..Well.. Can't just sit here and let the wolf have her peace, now can we?
I take some tall steps across the grass and peer down at Roxanne once I reach her side.
...
"Letting your inner child out today, huh?"
"It's warmm~.." Roxanne hums pleasantly, rolling over on her side to get me out of her field of vision.
The sun poking above the trees has a new orange tint to it, suggesting it's starting to hit evening. To be fair, the grass does look like it's maintained the suns warmth quite well..
"You really *are* like a dog sometimes.." I respond with a chuckle.
"Go away."
"Mm."
...
As soon as I turn around and start looking for something else to do, the grass behind me ruffles as Roxanne pushes herself to a stand.
"Wait- wait. I want to keep going, actually."
"..Through the woods?"
"Yeah."
..I peer over the trees for a moment before offering Roxanne a response.
"The sun's gonna set before too long. Once we're done here we should probably head back.."
"Aw- are monsters gonna get us in the dark?"
"No, but the smoke from my fire isn't gonna be visible at night, so we won't really know the way back."
...
"Fine.." Roxanne concurs, crossing her arms and turning in a random direction. "I'mma check out the area around here, and then we can leave."
"Sure." I respond, brushing myself off. "I'll kick back and relax for a few minutes until we have to stark trekkin' back, then."
..Roxy simply hops through the grass like a gazelle towards the nearest outcrop of trees in response.
I chuckle under my breath, watching her disappear before staring back up at the sky.
...
..I'll admit I wasn't expecting this little 'walk' to be so stimulating for her.. I guess this is her first experience with an environment like this, so I can't blame her for being a little anxious to map the place out.
Still, it's kinda nice. Roxanne skipped ever having a 'childhood', so seeing a little bit of that childlike excitement peek through her sassy and cold demeanor is a little endearing.
...
...
..There's a lot to talk about, and a lot of people to talk too.. I guess I'm glad we can take it a step at a time like this, and otherwise just enjoy being in a new environment for a while.
...
- "Mike." -
Roxanne calls out from a distance. I glance over my shoulder, but once again, she's off a little too far for me to see her through all the vegetation.
"..Yeah?"
- "I found another animal." -
"Don't touch it, please.."
- "No- I'm asking if I can pick this one up 'cause it isn't running away." -
...
"What..?"
- "It's *friendly*, so I'm not gonna fucking *throw it* this time, alright?" -
"..Alright?"
- "So can I?" -
"Is it another squirrel?"
- "Uhhh... I don't think so.. But it's the same color, and looks just as fuzzy." -
...
..I honestly fail to think of what animal that might be out here..
...
"..Alright well.. If it's friendly, sure, but.. Make sure it's friendly.. Is it bigger than a squirrel?"
- "Uhh.. Same size, I think.." -
"And you're sure it's friendly?"
- "It's small, and isn't running away. I don't think it's mean, otherwise it woulda' run at me or something.." -
...
...
- "Can I pick it up?" -
"..Why?"
- "So I can show it to you." -
...
..That was.. strangely endearing..
...
"..Fine, just don't hurt the damn thing please."
...
...
I turn back to look at the sky.
..The mighty wolf hunts it's prey..
...
...
- PShh -
..Well.. If whatever she was looking to grab was in that bush, then I reckon she got it..
I can so easily envision Roxanne pouncing some poor innocent creature minding its own business in a shrub somewhere..
...
What if it's a bird?
That's making a little more sense than I'm comfortable with, honestly.. Tons of birds are brown, and look soft to touch.. Kinda hope Roxanne isn't permanently ruining some poor sparrow household.
..I bet it fell out of a nest if it wasn't running away.. In which case, we might just have another mortally concussed bird on our hands..
...
...
- piff, piff -
Finally, I hear Roxanne's grassy footsteps behind me.
I don't wait for her to stop this time, instead glancing over my shoulder as soon as-
I have to physically strain to prevent myself at laughing at her and making her feel worse.
...
She stops a few steps away from me.. Roxanne's childlike excitement has been replaced by a teary-eyed pout as she glares at me with a couple long brown needles sticking out of her snout and palms.
...
"..Found a porcupine, huh?"
"F-Fuck that thing.."
"Wanna head back home and patch it up?"
"Yes, please.."
...
...
.. - snip - ..
"..Why the fuck do you keep cutting off the ends-? Are you trying to get them stuck in my skin?"
"I read somewhere that you need to cut porcupine needles to release the pressure in them or something.." I mutter, carefully positioning the scissors at the widest part of each spine.
"What?"
"I don't know; I'm more inclined to believe the internet scientists rather than work off my own intuition.."
"What - do they blow up their spikes with air?"
"I.. Don't know.. I guess they move them when threatened, but I thought that was a muscle thing.."
"..That's dumb.. How does that even help them compared to just having regular ass needles that aren't filled with- *Fuck*..! O-Ow!"
"There. That was the last one." I chime, tossing the scissors and handful needles onto the nearby counter.
"Warn! Me! I told you to warn me..!" Roxanne whines,
"That would have made it worse."
"Well then tell me you're not warning me..! At least!"
"That.. also would've made it worse.."
"Jeez..!"
"Calm down, Roxy-Pox.." I mutter, brushing my hands off on my pants just in case the porcupine-spines got any dirt on my hands. "None of them even drew blood; this should be nothing compared to the glass.."
"Shut up.. I was busy back then - I couldn't just stop and feel the pain.."
"Mm."
I hum while I stand from the bar-stool I dragged over by the couch.. Had her sit down on the couch in front of me while I fixed her up, like a careful surgeon at work.
...
..She's not exactly the cleanest I've ever seen her.. She's kinda getting dirt all over my couch..
...
Roxanne puts her hands on her knees and pushes herself up to a stand as well, then simply stands there and messes with the back of her hair while glaring at me.. Evidently, she's noticed me 'thinking', and she doesn't like the thought that I might come up with a coherent 'thought' one of these days.
...
..Speaking of 'dirty'..
...
...
"You're not gonna like what I'm about to say, wolf.." I comment with a hint of sarcasm.
"I rarely do."
"We're switching spots." I state plainly, patting the bar-stool I was sitting on before leaning over to grab something on the island separating the kitchen from the living room. "You sit here, and I'll take the couch."
...
Roxanne silently watches me snag a few things on the counter; trying but failing to infer what's about to happen.. Watching her ears move and tilt in different directions when she's confused will never not be funny to me - it's like she's carefully waiting for some ghost to whisper the answer into her ears or something.
...
"..Am I picking needles out of your skin now?" Roxanne sarcastically quips, though keeps her voice just serious enough in case she actually does need to pick some foreign objects out of my flesh.
"We're changing your bandages."
"Oh fuck you.."
I chuckle under my breath, tossing a fresh roll of bandages on the couch next to where I'll be sitting.
"Yeah, I knew you'd be excited about that.. But still; those bandages are filthy, and would've needed replacing tonight anyway."
...
"Nn.." Roxanne quietly moans, snagging the edge of the bar-stool and plopping down with far more force than necessary. "..I could do this myself.."
"You'd never be able to unfold them properly." I retort, reaching across the counter for my mug. "Lots of the bandage-ends are wrapped underneath other bandages; and you won't be able to blindly 'feel it out'."
"It's embarrassing.. You wrapped me in the damn things, so why don't you just fuckin' wrap them in a way I can take them off myself?"
"It's.. Harder than it sounds.." I admit, taking a swig of barely-above-lukewarm coffee and sliding the mug away as I push off from the counter. "The cuts aren't big, but there's a ton of them, so overlapping bandages is inevitable, and planning ahead for that would take longer than the entire process of just wrapping you up to begin with."
"You're so doing it on purpose."
"..What?"
"Just 'say' you want to touch me and st-"
"Stop right there.."
"Aww, you were awfully quick to shut me down that time." Roxanne pleasantly hums, ruffling the back of her hair. "Mmmmakes me think I kinda hit the nail right on the head, y'know what I mean?"
"..I cannot believe you've found now to be an acceptable time to get all coy.." I mutter stepping over to the couch right in front of the Wolf.
"Fine, sheesh.. Sue a girl for having some fun every now and then." She responds sarcastically, reaching out to nab my sleeve before I can sit down. "Wait. I'm thirsty."
"Hi thirsty, I'm M-"
"Shut up - go get me something real quick."
"Fine." I say with an exaggerated groan, pacing right back to the kitchen. "..You've already made yourself a little too at-home to be making requests like these."
"I didn't ask to be here."
"Neither did I.." I mutter under my breath, wrapping my hand around the fridge handle. "What do you want?"
"It doesn't have to be a full glass of something; just enough to hold me over for however long you think it'll take you to manhandle me."
"Please shut up.." I groan, opening and peering into the fridge. "..Surely you noticed that none of your 'embarrassing' areas required bandaging at all, so it's not like you actually have anything to worry about."
"Do I sound worried?"
"I almost lost a hand earlier because I pointed at you."
"Aw- that just took me by surprise. I like it better when I'm in control."
"Wolf, please."
"Fine. Just hurry already."
...
..Sigh..
"..You still haven't told me what you want.."
"I did, I said I didn't need a full cup of something - just something to hold me over for the next few minutes."
"Okay..?"
"Good."
...
"Fuckin'-.. Roxanne - a small cup of what?"
"Literally anything."
...
"..Whatever - Water it is, then."
"No - something else; water's boring."
"What the hell happened to 'literally anything'?"
"Literally anything other than wate-"
I shut the fridge with a satisfying - clap -
"You'll survive without a drink.."
"Awww, Mike."
"You have three seconds to make a final choice before I'm forcing you to wait."
"Fine- y'know what? Is there still anything in that mug of yours?"
..I glance back at the wolf, then over to the counter she's pointing at.
"..Oh - yeah, it's still about half full."
"Good enough; gimmie."
Roxanne makes grabby hands towards my cup on the counter; trying to seem demanding and queen-like, but only really looking like a kid who can't reach the top of the table.
...
"..Whatever." I hum, pushing off the fridge and leaning over the counter to grab the remainder of my drink. "..Pleasantly flavored with French Vanilla creamer and Michael's backwash.."
"Yum."
Ugh.. I was kidding about the backwash part, but her response was still gross..
"It's not very warm, either.. Guess I can throw it in the microwave for a few seconds if you want."
"Ew- what?"
"..What?"
"No I don't want you to microwav-, why would I want it warm?"
"You prefer cold coffee..?"
"Oh- that's *coffee*..?!"
...
"..Yeah?"
"What the fuck-? Why are you drinking it?"
"You don't want it..?"
"No I don't want it - and you're not drinking anymore of it either. Put that down."
I cock an eyebrow at her, but nonchalantly set the mug back on the counter like she asks.
"..I'm not allowed to drink coffee anymore?"
"Didn't you tell me you were drinking a crazy amount of the shit?"
"Yeah?"
"..So maybe stop..?!"
"It's just coffee - I don't even think it matters whether it's healthy for me or not.." I half-mutter, looking down at the harmless mug.
"Don't care - it's a bad habit, so cut it out."
"Fine, fine.." I sigh, raising my hands in defense and circling back around the island to reach the couch again. "..I mean-, I appreciate you looking out for me and all, but I don't think the coffee's the biggest demon we have to fight at the moment."
"You're making excuses." Wolfie responds quickly, nabbing my sleeve again and pulling me down onto the couch this time.
"Whatever you say, your highness.."
"Mmm~. Out of all your shitty nicknames; I really don't think I'd mind you repeating that one a bit more often."
"Whatever you say, your highness."
Roxanne huffs in amusement, regally extending her arm towards me until the back of her hand is hovering a good couple feet away from my chest.
...
...
"..I truly am ecstatic to see you're taking your newly acquired 'high-nobility' role so seriously, but I'm not about to kiss your hand, wolf."
"How about you start taking off the fucking bandages on my arm, then?"
"Oh.." I hum, suddenly realizing that I'm the idiot in this situation. "..I can probably start doing that, yeah.."
...
...
"Alright - turn around for me please." I hum, content with my work so far.
"..What are you- my barber?"
I chuckle under my breath while Roxanne rotates on her bar-stool to be facing away from me and out towards the rest of the living room.
"I'd take up an opportunity to try cutting your hair."
"Yeah - only if I can cut yours, purple man."
"You're out of your mind if you think I take my physical appearance anywhere near as serious as you take yours."
...
"Yeah, y'know what, that is a bad deal.. Don't touch my damn hair."
"Well can you move 'your damn hair' out of the way so I can see your back?"
"Ooo~" Roxanne hums, pulling her hair over her shoulder so it's resting on her front. "Didn't know you were into that kinda thing."
"..Backs?" I parrot after a few seconds, starting to tug at the dirtied bandages wrapped around her midsection.
"..Yeah? What else would I have meant?"
"I don't know, just wasn't aware that people could be 'into' backs.."
"Really?" Roxanne asks with genuine curiosity, turning her head as if she's about to look over her shoulder at me, but stops halfway.
"..'Really' what?"
"You didn't know people are into that?"
"Haven't exactly had these kinds of questions on my mind very much for the last few decades.."
...
"You need to spend more time on your laptop."
"I have a feeling you need to spend less.."
"Mm.. Where is that thing, actually? I'mma use it if I get bored." Roxanne states matter-of-factly, glancing around the room while I stare off into space for a moment.
...
...
"..I.. Think I forgot it in your room.."
"Gasp."
That was Roxanne literally pronouncing the word 'gasp' out loud, by the way..
"Sorry. I'm sure I'll have the chance to go get it soon.."
"Dammit, Mike. Now I'll have no way of entertaining myself other than pestering you all day." Roxanne whines, obviously faking annoyance to be 'funny'..
"Mm.."
"You don't sound too excited."
"Sorry, just seems too good to be true.." I respond, matching her sarcasm.
"Mm, it's fine. I'll just have to show you examples of back-fetishes on your phone instead."
"Is it too much to ask that you shut up about the backs for a few minutes?"
"I'm bored."
"I'm aware.."
Roxanne hums, pleasantly amused by how fruitful her efforts to make me uncomfortable have been going.
...
...
"..I could really do without your tail batting at me every few seconds while I'm trying to focus.."
- poof -
Ow.
...
..I can see her legs kicking ever so slightly.. I'm glad one of us is having fun..
...
...
...
"Soooo.. Does my back do anything for you?"
"Godammit.." I groan, still painstakingly picking apart the edges of each bandage one at a time.
"Aww, don't be shy. All I'm asking for is a little bit of honesty."
"I'm really gonna need you to turn it down a couple notches, wolf."
"I'll be assuming the worst if you don't answer."
"Uh-huh." I respond, sarcasm dripping from every corner of my voice. "Back's great, Rox. The muddy bandages and scattered glass-incisions really do a lot to compliment your fur."
Roxanne openly chuckles, happy with the damage she's done to my mental stability in the last five minutes. Once she gets all her giggles out, she holds her arms out in front of her and cheerfully inspects all the tiny incisions and scratch marks now visible without the bandages covering them.
"Mm. Alright, guess I did get a little fucked up. I'll have to ask you again when I'm lookin' my best~."
"Riveting.."
Roxy snickers under her breath again, happily looking up-and-down her arms like she's admiring modern-art..
...
...
...
...
..It's not very long, but the brief period of silence is enough for me to get most of the bandages wrapped around her midsection undone.
Maybe if I focus, I can finish this task entirely before Roxanne feels the need to grace me with some other inappropriate topic.. Her legs stopped kicking, which probably means she's deep in thought as we speak.
..God knows what Roxy's thinking about, but I bet you anything it's gonna be even more unsettling than the last topic..
...
Bbduh..
I know Roxanne's only messing with me, but it's working..
...
...
...
...
"..I-I'm a fucking freak.."
"What?"
"I.. I'm.."
My hands stop moving while I glance up at Rox's face..
Shit. I wasn't paying enough attention..!
..It happened again.. It's just another instance of what I was saying a while back: Roxanne'll be perfectly fine most of the time, but every once in a while, without any warning, she'll suddenly be on the verge of breaking down again.. She'll get trapped in her own thoughts for a moment and part of what she learned recently will start eating at her like crazy..
Roxanne's voice is airy, but not as shaky as it usually is when she's freaking out.. I should have known to keep an eye on her better..
She's actually been getting a lot better at that throughout the day, and I've been around to catch it before it happens lately, but I was too focused on what I was doing to notice this time.
..Here we go..
"..Woah, Rox - calm down, everything's fine.. What are you talking about..?"
I drop what I'm doing with my hands and instinctively reach up to grab her arm right below her shoulder; as if I'm about to spin her around to face me.
"I..I'm a freak.."
"You're fine. What in the world's gotten into you?"
Roxanne turns her body halfway, still looking at her arms for a moment before glaring at me with uncomfortable eyes, like she's suddenly sleep deprived.
"I was made by a fucking murderer? No fuckin' way he wasn't planning to use me to do the cursed shit he did with all his other robots.."
"William planned you, yes, but he didn't make you."
"Yeah- but whoever did followed those plans to the friggin' letter, didn't they? I was still built the exact same way h-he would have built me.."
"Not really - According to the plans, you were originally supposed to be-, uhm.. You were.. supposed to.."
...
..I don't think I should have said that..
...
"Don't you f-fucking dare stop there, Mike-! What was I *supposed* to be..?!" Roxanne demands, turning the rest of the way and almost reaching out to grab me.
"You.. nn, look, it doesn't really matter, alright? I know you w-"
"Mike- please..!"
"Calm down. Breathe for a second.."
"I.. I am calm, just tell me.."
...
"..Listen, I understand that you were planned out by someone who did bad things, but that really doesn't mean anything. 'I' was 'created' by the same guy, and I'm n-"
"And y-you're a *freak!* I don't 'want' to be like you..!"
"Woah woah, hey, relax.. There's nothing to start freaking out over - you're perfectly fine.." I pointlessly repeat, gesturing with my hands to 'calm down'.
"..The fuck did you think would happen when you tried comparing me t-to you..?! Is that supposed to make me feel like less of a monster..?!"
"You're not an monster, wolf.."
"Well 'you' and everything else he made is an abomination! So why would I be any different..?!"
"Roxanne. Calm, down.. You aren't like the rest of us.."
"Tell me what I was made to do, then..! Who was I supposed to fucking kill..!?"
Nn.. This is less of a breakdown and more of a surprise panic-attack.. I *really* hope I haven't just made her susceptible to these for the rest of her life.
"I'm not telling you anything until you calm down.." I state firmly.
"I 'am' f-fuckin' calm..!"
"Wolf.."
...
...
...
"I.. I am calm.. I'm not a kid, I can handle it.."
...
"You could barely handle thinking about what it could be." I counter, slowly raising my left arm and signaling that I'm about to do something with it. "..I'm going to keep taking off the bandages. If you start freaking out and making it impossible for me to do that, I'm gonna stop talking until you're calm again."
"I'm not a fucking kid.." Roxanne whines weakly, reflexively leaning away from my approaching hand. "..Where the hell do you think you're reaching?"
"You have a couple bandages around your neck, too."
"Oh.."
...
"All good now?"
"I'm fine, I'm fine..."
"Rox.."
...
...
"I'm fine.."
...
"..Alright.." I confirm quietly.
Roxanne tilts her head up and inch while I reach for the bandages around her throat, letting me start to pick away at one of them.
...
"..Tell me.."
"I will, I will, just chill out.." I mutter, not holding all that much faith in this plan of mine anymore.. "..It really isn't that bad - not nearly as horrible as you're imagining."
"Just tell-"
"I'm telling you, I promise.."
"..."
...
"..Alright well, I'm not one-hundred percent sure about what you were intended to be, but I am very confident in it, at least.. You were not built to kill anyone, but from what I can tell, you were built as a vessel to hold a soul."
"Great. F-Fucking great.."
"It isn't that bad.. You were n-"
"A-Am I a fucking *KID*?!" Roxanne suddenly blurts, tilting her head down to look at me.
"No, no, you're-"
"I-Is there-..?! D-Did I fucking die?! A-Are the souls supposed to remember who they were? W-Who the fuck was *I*, Michael-?!"
"Roxanne." I call firmly, retreating my hand from Roxanne's neck since I can't see what I'm doing past her snout anymore. "Enough, calm down."
"Mike..!"
"Relax."
"Just, fucking-..! D-Do you know who I-?!"
"I'm not answering anything until you calm. down."
"I am calm, I'm-..!"
...
...
Despite Roxanne's breathing still being huffy, I find it necessary to blurt out one piece of information that'll help her calm down quicker.
"..No, you're not possessed or anything. You didn't die and become Roxanne Wolf, I promise - you've always been you."
...
"..Sheesh.." Roxy huffs, trying to take a couple silent deep breaths without me noticing. "..Just say that, fucker - so what am I then?"
"Wolf.."
...
Roxanne's ears twitch as she remembers what we're doing here; tilting her head up again and letting me get back to work on the bandages.
"..I'm not a 'kid'.."
"I'm not trying to treat you like one; I understand this is serious."
"..Y'know - you don't exactly make it easy to chill out with those nightmarish fucking eyes of yours.."
"Mm.. Anyway.." I begin, shifting in my seat. "..You were planned to be a vessel for a soul, but that never ended up happening.. - sigh - ..Would you know what I'm referring to when I say 'Remnant'..?"
"No. Some ghost shit is all I remember reading - something about how it being what made those robots come to life..."
"That's pretty much it, actually.." I chuckle somberly, un-looping a round of bandage around Rox's neck. "It lets souls possess inanimate objects - sometimes forces them to.."
"I know but what the fuck is it..? How does that w-work..?"
"Wolf."
"I'm calm..! I 'am' calm.."
"You stutter worse than anybody else when you're distressed - It's not something you can really hide."
"I-I'm as calm as I'm gonna get, Michael.."
...
...
Nn.. She's probably right..
...
"..Anyway.. To be honest, the only person who had any idea what Remnant was is my father. I can't tell you any information other than what I have personally seen and experienced.."
"How do you even make something like that..?"
"Actually.." I begin, pausing what I'm doing to think for a moment. "..I'm not so sure he did.."
...
"What- did someone else make it?"
"No, um.. It's kind of hard to explain.." I mutter, continuing my work with the bandages. "..Beyond it's most obvious function, Remnant has a lot of obscure side-effects that my Father never seemed to explicitly make use of.. To be honest, I'm led to believe that means he wasn't aware of all of the effects it had, and if he wasn't aware, then.. that leads me to believe he didn't meticulously create the substance and alter it to do exactly what he wanted it to do."
"..So who made it, then?"
"Mm.. What I mean to say is that I don't think William 'created' Remnant, but 'discovered' it, y'know what I mean..?"
"Discovered it where?"
"No, I-.. I don't mean it was made somehow, then William stumbled upon it and made it his own. I mean Remnant might've just been.. I don't know- a concentrated natural substance, or something.. William developed methods of acquiring it, but it existed as a substance before William ever managed to physically obtain any of it."
"What the fuck are you even saying right now?"
"..I don't know- nevermind.. It was an idea I had a while back, but I don't really have any evidence to back anything up.."
...
"I-Is this supposed to make me feel better?"
"Look, the important take-away is that the people or person that made you had no idea what Remnant was, since only my father had any idea what to do with it. So, you were built according to my father's instructions, simply without Remnant. You worked fine without it, thanks to the programming my father had saved somewhere, so no one bothered to look any further into this Remnant thing.. Without Remnant, you couldn't have been possessed; that's a plain and simple fact. You don't need to worry about some 'past life'."
...
"..I don't look like the other robots, though.." Roxanne mutters, tilting her head back down as I finish removing the first of two bandages on her neck.
"..What do you mean?" I respond, folding the dirtied paper and setting it with the rest.
"Some of his robots were meant to kill, but some weren't.. Right..?"
"Yeah..?"
"But I don't look like any of them.."
...
..I'm not.. completely sure what her point is..
...
"..So?"
"Ghh- fucking Mike.." Roxanne groans under her breath, like I'm an idiot for not getting it.
"..."
...
"How come I'm all bloody and squishy while your old friends were all fuckin' plastic and metal?"
"..Oh - you mean how come you look so different from the other animatronics that were supposed to serve the same purpose as you? As 'vessels', or whatever?"
"Yes, idiot.."
"Father was doing something unique with you and the rest of the gang. The working theory is that you guys were meant to be actual life-like vessels that simulated life as much as William possibly could. So when a soul possessed your body, it would feel no different than piloting a regular organic body. It wouldn't feel like haunting something, but literally just changing bodies." I explain, brushing my hands off. "..A lot of signs seem to point toward that being the case, so I'm relatively confident in that judgement, but.. I don't really know why he felt the need to make life-like bodies.."
"..."
...
"..Maybe it was to bring his family back.."
"I thought he didn't care about his family..?"
"He did, he just didn't care about me."
"Oh.. Well.. I mean- maybe, then. I don't know.."
...
"I really hope that isn't why he made you four, to be honest.."
"..What - because you wanted your family to stay dead..?"
"If he made four of them for his family, then that means he made one of them for me.."
...
...
"..God, he's your fucking dad.."
"Mhm.."
"Just.. Casually living out your life as the son of a fuggin' bloodthirsty psychotic demon, huh?"
"Mmmmhm.."
"Ha.. Don't follow in his footsteps if you can help it, purple man. Don't need anymore kid murderers.."
"Thirty years too late, wolfie. Pretty sure I got more blood on my hands than my father does." I joke back with a silent chuckle.
...
...
..Roxanne didn't appear to find it very funny..
...
...
"..Mike, you-.. I know you made a mistake, but you didn't kill anybody else. You're not bad.."
...
"I made that 'mistake' purely out of the evil in my heart.. I don't have an excuse - I was vile, wretched, and killed my brother because I thought it would be funny to see him get scared. That mistake I made just because I was a bastard resulted in the deaths of so many people. This isn't a matter of opinion - I'm telling you the facts of what happened."
"You-.. You didn't kill them, though.. I'm not saying killing your brother wasn't wrong, but you didn't want any of the other kids to die - that was all William, not you.."
"Look, I'm sorry, but I'm not talking about this right now.." I mutter, sighing quietly "..Choose a different topic.."
...
"F..Fine.." Roxanne huffs, utterly failing her attempt at seeming annoyed. "..How did they make me?"
"..William or your builders?"
"Why do you keep saying that..? Didn't Cooper build me?"
"I'm not sure.. He did have the plans, but.. Knowing Cooper's personality, I'd be thoroughly surprised if he had the necessary skill and intelligence to pull off such a delicate task.. Cooper was the cause of your construction, however; so you were built because of Cooper, I just don't know if it was by his hands or not."
...
"Alright.. How did the 'builders' build me?"
"Well.. I guess they just followed along William's blueprints and construction steps.."
"Well what the fuck did those things say? 'Insert DNA, then cover with organic flesh'?"
"I.."
...
"Mike?"
...
I sigh, knowing this answer isn't gonna go over well..
"..I don't know... I get William was.. really smart, so his instructions probably listed easy ways of getting what they needed to build you and the other animatronics, but.. I really have no idea what materials were used to create you, nor do I know where the people who built you got those materials from.."
"W.. What..?"
"Sorry.. I really don't know.."
"You don't recognize my fuggin' flesh or something..?"
"..Should I?"
"I don't know - I'm actually asking..! Like, t-this doesn't ring a bell as like, some brand or something..?"
"What? ..No- I don't know any brands that specialize in fake flesh, why?"
"Mike, w-what the fuck am I made of?"
"Roxanne, calm down.."
...
"..Mike, Who's flesh is this..?!" Roxanne asks with a hint of desperation, tugging on part of her arm and stretching the skin.
"I don't know if-"
"W-Who am I wearing right now..?! Who did all this skin belong too?!"
"Stop it, Rox." I huff, firmly grabbing her arm to hold her still for a second. "..Look - I know you've already heard a lot of unbelievable things these last couple days, but even after experiencing them all myself, I really fail to imagine that you were created using someone else's flesh.. It's much easier to believe that it really *is* artificial, and I'm just unfamiliar with.. the 'brand'.."
"Mmn.."
...
...
...
"..I can still feel how jittery you are, wolf."
"I-I'm.. I'm fine."
"You 'are' fine, I just need you to actually believe that.."
...
"I'm fine.. I-I'm fine, I'm fine - hurry up with the bandages.."
...
"Right, yeah.." I mutter in response, setting aside the bandage I removed and preparing to reach for the other one around Roxanne's neck.
...
"T..This is so fucked.."
"I know.. Didn't want all of this to hit you at once, but something happened, and I didn't think I had a choice but to just hit you with the truth.."
"It's fine, i-it was probably just a matter of time anyway.."
"I thought the same." I concur, lifting Roxanne's snout up a bit and reaching for the remaining bandage with my right arm.
...
"..You've got me all shaky.."
"You're not in immediate danger no matter what you're thinking about, so there really is no reason to pani-"
- "What are you doing?" -
"Wh-?"
-.- "Hey!.." -.-
In an instant, Roxanne furiously nabs the hand reaching for the bandages around her neck and arches her back to prevent me from touching her.
..For a moment I think she's just being intentionally dramatic, or making a joke.. But she's not good enough at acting to be feigning that underlying layer of dread in her expression.
...
...
..What the hell just happened..?
"..Rox..?"
...
Roxanne snaps out of a trance, glances at me for a second and pretends to pull a neutral expression, but doesn't let go of my arm..
...
...
"D-.."
...
"..I was only gonna undo the rest of the bandages around your neck, like I did not even two minutes ago.. What did you think I was doing..?"
"T-..That's fine, just.."
...
..Did she think I was gonna hurt her or something..? That doesn't make any sense - I was literally just taking bandages off her neck the same way I'm trying to do now. I didn't do anything differently, did I?
"What in the world is-..? Calm down, wolf; nothing happened."
...
"Y-You can do w-whatever with the bandages, that's fine.."
...
..She says that, but my attempt at reaching forward a little more is met with Roxanne holding my wrist even tighter and recoiling a bit.
...
"..I can't take off the bandages if you don't let me touch them, Roxanne.."
"Y-You can touch them, just don't-.."
"..?"
...
"D-.. Do it with.. Your other hand.."
...
I continue to stare at Roxanne for a few more seconds, completely unaware to what she's trying to communicate with me..
..Eventually, I look at my arm and try to see if there's something on it she doesn't want me to touch her with.
...
It's my metal hand, but I have just as good control over it as I do my regular hand.. Maybe it'd be a little less comfortable for her to feel rub against her neck, but I really don't envision it making that much of a diff-
Metal hand, Roxanne's throat.
...
..I'm.. Admittedly taken a little by surprise when the memory of being momentarily blinded and unintentionally strangling Roxanne while I was recoiling floods back to me..
...
...
"..Rox, I.. I'm not going to hurt you.."
"P-Please use your other hand.."
"Wolf - It's not dangerous, you're not in any danger or anything - I wouldn't hurt you randomly like that."
"Mike, I know, I get it, but please just use your other hand.."
...
..I'll admit.. That kind of hurts..
...
..Nn.. That's dumb of me - stop playing victim, Michael..
I sigh and retract my hand. Roxanne doesn't resist letting my hand go once she feels that I'm pulling it away from her.
...
..Silently, I reach for Roxanne's neck with my other hand; and she awkwardly lifts her chin again..
Once I touch the end of the remaining bandage, I can't help but stop for a second.
...
..This isn't something I should pretend didn't happen.. An awkward silence is the least of my worries, but letting this moment strew in silence won't be a great idea in the long run.
...
"..Hey.. I want to bring up something we were talking about this morning again.."
"..."
Roxanne acknowledges, but doesn't verbally respond.. It looks like she also has a million wildly uncomfortable thoughts and things she wants to talk about, but is too timid to act on at the moment.
...
- sigh.. -
"..Look, I really can't be sorry for most of the things I did a couple nights ago.. I hated killing Cooper, I hated ruining your show, I hated showing you something bloody in your room - I hated all of it.. But at the time, I needed to do it.. There were reasons behind every action I took, and many of those reasons are still in play today. They were things I had to do, even if I hated it.. So while I despise it, I can't honestly tell you I'm sorry.."
"..."
...
"..But, I am sorry for this.." I mutter, delicately tugging off the last bandage on her throat. "..Regardless of how I look at it, I didn't need to rough you up as much as I did.. I only meant to knock you back and toss you aside without actually hurting you at all, but I didn't stay true to that.. I mean this specifically for your neck, but uhm.. I guess I also kinda threw you on the ground pretty hard - I saw that bruise on your snout. Oh- you can probably unwrap that yourself, by the way. I'm sure you can figure it out.."
I briefly tap on the bandages on the top of her snout..
...
It doesn't really seem like she's ready to respond, though..
"..Sorry - I know I'm not good at apologizing. Still don't really know what the etiquette is.." I continue, leaning back and tossing the last dirtied bandage aside. "All I mean to say is that I'm sorry it hurts as much as it does.. I couldn't really think straight for a few seconds after the glass hit m-"
"Stop- that's enough.. What do I keep telling you to do every time this happens?.."
"..What?"
...
Roxanne leans forward on the bar-stool and extends her arms downward, planting her hands on my knees and using them to support her weight as she closes in.
"..We've gone over this a million times, Michael.."
"Gone over what..?"
"..Try saying what you said again real quick; I'll do it for you this time.."
...
"I'm.. I'm sorry I-"
"Stop."
"..Oh.. Right.." I perk briefly, then stare off and avoid eye contact for a second.. "..Forgot excuses make it worse for you, sorry.."
"No, they don't." Roxanne immediately denies, finding it necessary to grab my chin and force me to look at her again. "It's fine if people explain themselves.."
...
Reflexively, I grab her wrist and meekly try to pull her hand off my face, but she puts in the bare minimum amount of effort required to keep her hand there, resulting in the worlds weakest and most half-assed power struggle.
"..What - so you don't like it when I explain myself?"
"Someone's gotta have the best explanation in the whole world to get me to forgive them."
"But I'm not even allowed to try?"
"You don't need to."
...
"Mm.." I hum, cocking a brow. "..Guess that's fair - you wouldn't be the first to think I'm unforgivable.."
Roxanne huffs and lids here eyes a bit, as if disappointed I didn't catch something.
"..That's not what I meant, dingus.."
"Can you let go of my chin?"
"No. And what I was saying is that I already forgave you, dipshit."
"What? Why?"
"..The hell do you mean 'why?' "
"I mean-.. I don't know, why?"
"You want me to explain step by step the logic behind why I forgive you?"
"Well.."
"It's a 'feeling' thing, Mikey. I wanted to forgive you, so I did."
...
"..I'll take your word for it, I guess?" I chuckle, positioning myself to stand up from the couch. "Don't really get it.."
...
Roxanne's ears perk for a moment like she remembered something, then quickly decides to press more of her weight on my legs so I can't stand.
"..Wait.."
...
...
..I wait for her to continue, but a few seconds pass, and the staring contest doesn't end.
...
"Getting lost in my eyes, huh?" I joke, earning a little smirk from myself.
It's worth mentioning that I still do not have eyes.
...
...
She's.. Looking a little weird..
Roxanne's expression is as serious as I've ever seen it, despite the light banter we were having just having a moment ago.. I was so confident I managed to calm down Roxanne with that little apology. In fact, I still might have.. She's not angry-serious, or panicked-serious; just serious..
...
...
Finally deciding what she wants to say, Roxanne takes a slow and calculated inhale..
"..Y'know - I still forgive you for everything else, too.."
...
My smirk fades.
...
...
"..You don't get it.."
"I 'do' get it-"
"You don't."
"Yes I do..! ..Look - you did something bad. I'm not saying you never did anything wrong; you did. But you didn't kill everyone, alright?"
"I understand you're trying to make me feel better, and I really do appreciate it, but stop. This isn't something an outsider can judge in a single day - everything that happened was 40 years in the making."
"I-.. I'm not an outsider you fuckin'-.. nn.. Mike, you can't judge it accurately either."
"I was there, Roxanne. I stood in the face of monsters that wouldn't exist if it wasn't for me. How can you say I don't have the experience to make this judgement call?"
"It's not experience, you just.. You're wrong - you're biased, and so you're choosing wrong."
"What else am I supposed to choose? Every moment I stood in the halls alongside some suffering toddler disguised as an eldritch abomination, I had no choice but to face the fact that those same children would be at home with their families if I didn't kill my brother. That's not a matter of opinion."
"Mike- I get what you're saying, but it wouldn't have happened if William didn't do all his evil shit either..!"
"Oh - the evil shit he devolved into doing out of sheer hatred for me killing my brother? Is that what you're referring too?"
"That doesn't excuse him from-!"
"It doesn't excuse me, either."
...
"..."
"..Let me off the couch, Roxanne."
In immediate defiance, Roxy removes her hands from my knees and pushes them against my shoulders to keep me locked on the couch even harder.
"Not yet, you-.."
"I'm not saying this for fun, wolf. I'd love nothing more than to not be responsible, but I am. If all those kids that died because of me didn't forgive me, why should you?"
...
"..It doesn't matter - I choose who I forgive, not you."
"It's your choice to make, but I'm telling you that you're making a mistake."
"Mike - no I'm not. I've seen you every day for a damn year - I would know if you're a good person or not-"
"Roxanne." I interrupt sternly, admittedly a little annoyed. "..How could you possibly say that you know who I am after the day we just had? The day I killed Cooper, shut down the Pizzaplex, and had every intent on walking out and ruining your life? You were saved by a miracle, Roxanne - and you were still taken away from your home and beaten to near death."
"Yes, I was there..! But-!"
"You ever stop to think that the whole reason that happened was because you had no idea who I was? Things got that bad because I kept lying to you; tricking you into thinking I was someone else. I literally tricked you into thinking I was a good person, because I was so good at lying to you about all the people I've killed. You figured out who I truly was two nights ago, and you still seriously think you know me good enough to judge my character?"
"Mike..!"
"..How do you know I'm not still lying to you? I mean- Possession, ghosts, zombies, souls, doesn't it all sound ridiculous? What other absurdities am I able to make you fall for? Should I go for dragons next?"
"Jesus Christ, Mike-! Enough..! You're not lying to me anymore - you showed me you were a dead guy..!"
"Pretty convincing performance I set up, huh? All I needed to do was sprinkle a little bit of fake blood everywhere, and you didn't even bother to look close enough at my organs to see they were fake."
"They weren't fake, asshole! I saw you-! nn.. Mike, seriously, stop it..!"
"Fine, but you see what I'm getting at? Gonna let me off the couch now?"
She did not let me off the couch now; instead pressing down even harder. Surprise.
"I get it, Mike, but-..! You weren't faking it for the last year - you just didn't wanna share your past..! You weren't faking watching movies with me, or faking having fun with Evan..!"
"Look, I might have a slight moral compass nowadays, but that isn't enough to make up for anything."
"Mike- even if you were 'evil' or some shit, it doesn't matter because you're not anymore."
"So what, then? I go scott-free? After killing how many people?"
"You saved them..!"
.- "Get off of me." -.
"Nn-..! Okay- but we have to talk about this at some point..!"
"Fine, not right now."
"When?"
"Later."
"Mike- When?"
"Later."
"No, you-"
I grab one of Roxanne's arms with my metal hand. Like clockwork, she yanks it away in one panicked movement, giving me all the time in the world to nonchalantly stand from the couch.
..By the time wolfie's done recoiling from her new irrational fear of my metal appendage, she just sits there and glares up at me from the bar stool.
...
...
Nn..
...
- ..sigh.. -
Alright.. Maybe it's time to take it down a couple notches..
...
"..Okay, Roxanne, look.. I really do appreciate what you're trying to do. I know you're only trying to help, and I appreciate it.."
"I just don't understand how you can say all that shit was your fault - you literally didn't even see most of the kids..!" Roxanne huffs, standing up from her bar-stool. I raise my hands up in defense and lightly gesture her to calm down.
"Listen, I'm sorry if I got a little annoyed. It's probably never gonna stop being a touchy subject for me.."
"Yeah- well now I'm annoyed..! I thought I told you not to yell at me..!"
"I wasn't yelling.."
"Well don't, fuckin'-.. raise your voice at me, then..!"
"..Listen, I know this sounds like I'm just stalling, but can we please just leave it alone and finish the night off on a good note?"
...
..Roxanne pretends to whine under her breath, but obviously wanted me to hear it while she crossed her arms.
"Bit late for that now, purple man.."
"Right.. You know what I mean, though.."
"You still have to put the new bandages on, by the way. We got time to chat.."
"Actually, I was thinking you should wash up and get all those cuts cleaned before I put the new ones on.."
...
"..Not letting you wash me, shitass - that's not-"
"I mean go take a shower, borzoi." I chide lightly, pointing in the direction of the bathroom.
...
"..Fine.." Roxanne huffs, turning away from me. "Your shower is really fuckin' small, though."
"It is not.." I huff back, watching her walk. "Not all of us can have full room-showers like celebrities do."
"What am I supposed to do - just stand there?"
"Yes, what else do you do in a shower?"
"Wouldn't you like to know.."
I roll my eyes once I'm sure Roxanne isn't looking in my direction anymore, following after her shortly after.
"..Let me show you how the shower works first, hold on.."
"I know how a damn shower works."
"Do you?"
"Yes - you think I'm stupid?"
...
"Tell me how you think you turn on the shower."
"Press the-"
"You're already wrong - what the hell are you 'pressing' in your shower at the Pizzaplex?" I ask, eyeing the wolf suspiciously as I walk in front of her to lead the way.
"The fuckin'-..! The little thing on the top of the faucet that turns it from a bath to a shower..!"
"Oh.. Well no, my shower doesn't have one of those; it's exclusively a shower."
"Sheesh.."
...
"You have a room shower that you can use as a bath?" I suddenly emphasize, glancing over my shoulder at her.
"What? Yeah, so?"
"Like, the whole area of the shower fills with water?"
"Duh?"
...
"I need to give that shower of yours a try sometime.." I mutter, turning the corner.
"With or withou-"
"Without you in it. Stop it.."
"God you're no fun."
...
"Okay- you see the knobs?" I ask, pointing in the bathroom from the hallway.
"..Yes?"
"Twist them, water will pour. One knob is for hot water, one is for cold."
"We truly are in the technology era." Roxanne hums, taking a step past me.
...
...
"..Hey, I-"
"You can't join me, no." Roxy chimes while tugging at the shower curtain, her voice a little echoey from the bathroom acoustics.
"I wasn't asking if-.. Jesus, what's gotten into you today?"
"I've got literally nothing to do all day but try to make you uncomfortable."
Gonna kill this woman.
...
..Sigh..
"..Look.. Before you do your thing, I just want to acknowledge that you've had it rough these last few days; rougher than some people experience in their entire lives.."
"Aw, wanted to have one last heartfelt moment in the bathroom, huh?"
..I have to remind myself that rolling my eyes in front of her would only make her mess with me more..
"..whatever - Look.. I just don't want us to stew in the sour moment we had.."
"You were the one being sour; all I tried to do was make you realize you're not a piece of shit. I was doing the opposite of 'sour'." Roxanne nonchalantly explains, grabbing my shampoo bottle and giving it what must be the most thorough examination it'll ever receive.
...
..ugh..
"You're tough, wolf."
"What?"
"nn- I didn't want to phrase it like that because I knew you'd get on my case about how stupid sounds, but that's what I'm trying to say, alright?" I begrudgingly explain, holding my arms out to gesture to the whole house around us. "You got knocked to hell and back both mentally and physically at the Pizzaplex. Then you were taken out of your home to this place recover, which obviously can't really compete, and you're stuck here with someone who constantly makes it worse. After a day like that, waking up and being trapped with someone who's done nothing but argue with you all day must be-"
"Oh- no, it's fine. I like arguing with you." Roxanne interrupts, with far more sincerity than I'm comfortable with..
...
"..I find it hard to believe that you enjoyed sitting there and listening to me insist I'm a murderer in front of you.."
"Well no, I.. I didn't like that, but that one was kind of a real argument, so.."
"As opposed to what? 'Fake arguments'?"
"I don't know what to call them- the shit we did about the squirrel and out in the woods."
"..It's not the same to you?"
"No it's not the damn same.." Roxanne huffs, setting the shampoo on the sink and closing the distance again, so that I'm standing right outside the bathroom and Roxanne is standing right inside it. "It's meaningless petty shit, but it's fun. The only times you were ever really 'expressive' is when we were bickering about stupid stuff, so I kept doing it."
"Oh.. Well.."
...
"Pretty nice hearing you call me tough, though. Wouldn't mind if you went on about that a bit more." Roxy hums.
"..Maybe lose a little bit of the sass and I will.."
"Oh c'mon. I don't deserve even a little bit of acknowledgement for all this super horrible and traumatizing shit I've pulled through?"
"I know you're messing with me."
"So what if I am?"
...
..I'm gonna regret this, but..
"..Fine - all I'm trying to say is that you've gotta be pretty strong to go through all that and still be looking at me with that dumbass smirk.."
"Aw."
"Sorry if I react poorly to some of the more intense parts of what you 'learned' in the future, and sorry for getting a little snippy back there."
...
"We're talking about that, and soon, alright?" Roxanne responds, serious but remaining positive and light. "It's a big deal, and we obviously don't agree on it, so we gotta have that talk sometime."
"..Mm.."
"Nope - not 'Mm'. Promise that we'll-"
"I'm not making promises anymore.."
"Fine, tell me we'll talk about it in the future.."
...
..Sigh..
"..Alright.. But it-.. it isn't going to go well.." I mutter as a half-warning, half-prediction.
"We'll be fine."
"If you say so.. And seriously, it really does take some fortitude to be able to say that after all you've seen.."
"Aw, you're sweet."
Fuck you..
"That's not what I was going for.. You know that wasn't what I was going for."
"Well hey, tell you what." Roxanne begins, deciding it's necessary to boop my nose.
"..Please don't touch my n-"
"You're pretty tough too, purple-knight."
...
..I exhale, thoroughly exhausted by this interaction.
"You don't think I've already seen enough of your coy side today?"
"Ha. No, absolutely not, but just this once, I'm serious."
"Mm.." I hum, staring blankly at her for a moment. "..I guess I'm pretty durable, if nothing else.."
"Mhm, but I mean it the same way you meant it for me." Roxanne comments, finally removing her finger from my nose. "..I still don't understand the full story, but from what I can tell, there were a lot of people that died, and then.. came back, or something.."
"Yeah.."
"And they all went crazy and started trying to kill other people, right?"
"Well yeah, but.. Y'know, dying is kind of a big enough shock for adults to go a little insane, much less children, so.. I don't really blame them or anything.."
"But you didn't go out and start hurting anybody, did you? After you died, I mean?"
"No. Not unless you count the other animatronics.."
"Well that's pretty admirable by itself, isn't it? You died and didn't turn into the same psychos they did - you just got back up and kept trying to do the right thing."
"I.. Well, I didn't get trapped in a suit or anything either, so.."
"You were a suit." Roxanne interjects, the vile meaning behind those words somehow overshadowed by the (wildly rare and uncharacteristic) gentleness in her voice. "They used your body as a disguise while you were still in it. That isn't nothing."
"Right, but.. I don't know, I still think I got off easy.."
"How can you say you got off easy with a literal monster writhing inside your skin? That's more than enough reason to let your hatred cloud your judgement, isn't it?"
"I had no shortage of hatred, wolf."
"I know, but the difference between you and everyone else is that it didn't break your spirit. All I'm saying is that that's kinda admirable, alright?"
"..Well-"
"Stopppp, sheesh.. It should not be this hard to compliment you." Roxanne huffs, forcefully poking my chest. "Just shut up and be happy I said something nice, 'cause it's gonna be a while before I do it again."
...
"Mm.."
"Good. Anything else you wanna say before I shower?"
"Not really.."
...
..Wipe that dumbass grin off your face..
...
"Promise you've got nothing else to say to me?"
"I'm not making promises anymore.."
"No?"
"Wolf."
...
"Promise you won't come in and peek?"
"I just said I'm not promising anything anymor-nn.."
Godammit.. I realized how creepy that sentence was way too late.. Fell for that hook line and sinker, didn't I?
"Ooo~!"
"Jesus Christ.."
"Got a wildcard on my hands, huh?"
"Can I go?"
"Gonna have to keep an eye on you these next couple days~..!"
"Stop talking like that.."
...
...
"Wanna come in?"
I close the door and walk away, unfortunately earning a chuckle from the wolf on the other side.
...
...
..This is a new feeling..
...
...
I stop in front of the bathroom again, listening to the sound of running water on the other side.
..Surely this upcoming interaction will be pleasantly succinct and not make me wanna rip my hair out as usual..
...
- Knock -
"Who is it?"
Who else could it possibly be?
"You want a towel?" I respond, lifting the towel in my hand as if she can see me through the door.
"Do I need one?"
"Good lord- If you were this suggestive around anyone else, they'd have reported you to someone already.." I half-grumble.
Roxanne audibly laughs on the other side, ruffling the shower curtain for some reason.
"Aw, I didn't even mean it that time. I was trying to ask if there wasn't already a towel in here."
Sigh..
"I don't think so.. I don't remember replacing the last one, at least."
"M'kay. Sure, then."
"Alright, leaving it on the floor out here."
"How am I supposed to use it out there?"
"You're supposed to come get it when you're finished.."
"I'm supposed to come out there?"
"No - just crack the door open and it'll be on the floor right outside; you don't have to leave the bathroom. I'll be in a different part of the house entirely, so you don't have to worry regardless.."
"Why don't you just crack the door open and put it in here?"
"You've been in a mood these last couple hours - I don't trust you not to mess with me."
"Well what if I don't trust *you?* "
"Then good luck.." I state flatly, dropping the towel on the floor and walking away.
"..oh- son of a *bitch*, don't ignore me..!"
Ignoring you.
...
"Hey. You're not an abomination."
Still stretching to reach the top cupboard above the stove, I look around in several directions until I finally find the source of the voice. Roxanne, already a couple steps up the staircase, making her way up to the room she woke up in from the shower, and still sopping wet and covered by a towel.
"..Okay?"
"I just-.. I said that earlier, but I was just scared, alright?"
"I honestly don't even remember you saying it."
"Well I'm sorry anyway, okay?"
"Nothing to be sorry about - I obviously don't care any." I respond nonchalantly, looking back to the cupboard I'm reaching inside. "Besides, if I'm not an abomination, what is? I don't take any offense to it at all."
"You're not one."
"I'm a zombie, wolfie."
"I know, but I didn't even notice until a couple days ago, so.."
"A wolf in sheep's clothing is still a w-"
"You're not a wolf, Mike, you're frickin'.."
...
"Uh-huh?"
"Is there even a chance I can convince you this right now?
"Nope." I respond, snickering under my breath. "But seriously, even if I am a monster, then 'oh well'. Not gonna depress over that fact if there's nothing I can do to change it, so it doesn't matter to me at all."
"ugh.. Alright, fine.."
"I left some clothes on the bed you woke up on."
"Thanks.."
...
Television go brr..
..It's supposed to, anyway - what's wrong with this damn remote..?
...
Where did the batteries go?
...
Whatever..
I toss the remote back on the couch and take a few more sips of coffee while I stare at the black screen.
..I want to say Roxanne's responsible for this unexplained phenomenon, but I really have no idea what the hell she could possibly want to do with batteries..
...
I mean, it's a thirty second fix to grab new ones from the cabinet and replace them, but.. Don't really feel like it.
- click -
Very faintly, the sound of a door cracking open upstairs echoes down to the living room.
"Mike?" Roxanne yells down, hints of genuine concern lacing the corners of her voice.
"What's up?"
"Do you have make-up?"
"No."
"You don't?"
"No."
"..Can you get some?"
"No."
...
"..I don't like being seen without make-up.."
"Between the cuts and the bandages, make-up is by far the least significant thing about your appearance.. I just saw you straight out of the shower not even five minutes ago, too."
"This is *different*, I'm all dried up and 'supposed' to look good now."
"I'm sure you'll somehow find a way to survive this catastrophe. it's not that big of a deal."
"Mike, I'm *serious.* It makes me self-conscious.."
"You'll be fine, Rox. I'm the only one who'll see you anyway."
"Can you *order some?* At least?"
"I'll be heading back to the Pizzaplex sometime in the next few days to grab my laptop and whatever else soon. I'll pick up your make-up while I'm at it."
"Today?"
...
"..No, not today - I just said 'sometime in the next few days'."
"Shittt.. Mike, 'please?' "
"It really isn't anywhere near as important as you're making it out to be, Rox. Who are you trying to impress - me? The purple dead guy in the living room?"
"Nnnnn.."
...
- click -
The door closes again, and I waste no time taking another swig of coffee and continuing my black-screen-staring.
..Didn't know Roxanne was that much of a fashion freak.. I can't possibly imagine having to spend every morning applying seventy different kinds of make-up over the course of an hour.
...
I finish what's left in my mug and shake it around a bit while I think about random nonsense for a while.
...
..Then, I side-eye the stairs leading to the second floor, as if checking if Roxanne was there..
...
She's probably gonna be a couple more minutes.. If I'm quick about it, I bet I've got enough time for one more cup..
Ugh. Thinking like that feels criminal, but.. Come on - I'm dead. What's a little bit too much coffee gonna do? Kill me?
She's just overreacting..
...
I nonchalantly circle the island and continue into the kitchen, setting my mug on the coffee maker and preparing the machine to start. As soon as I hit the button-
- click -
"Hair dye..?"
...
"..Do I have hair dye?" I yell back up to her, making sure I know what she's asking.
"Yes."
"Not that neon green you use for that streak in your hair, no.. Why? I've seen you without that streak plenty of times now, haven't I?"
"ugh - I just want *something* to look good.."
"You'll look fine. It isn't worth stressing about - you should spend these few days recovering instead of worrying about how you look."
"Of course I'm gonna wanna look good - *everyone* does."
"People don't worry about looking good when they don't plan on leaving the house, wolf."
"ghh.. You're gonna make 'fun' of me.."
"I won't this time, not if you're actually self-conscious about it."
"..."
...
"What the hell did you do with my remote batteries, by the way?"
- click -
..M'kay..
...
Another cup o' coffee for the man of the house.
The moment the coffee machine stops dripping, the mug is already touching my lips, and I'm maneuvering back into the living room.
..I stare up into a couple modern wall-shelves, deciding if there's anything that needs organized.. If there isn't, I guess I wouldn't mind taking one of these books down and giving them a skim..
...
..It'd be a good idea to actually read most of these at some point.. I've read a few, but I don't know - guess it's just not my first choice of how I wanna spend my free time..
...
Gonna run out of those coffee ground things soon at this rate. Hope my eyes heal back soon - don't really wanna have someone else grab my groceries if I don't have to..
..Sigh..
...
Tomorrow is going to be a day..
Roxanne alone took quite a bit of work to handle, but it'll have been a few days since the Pizzaplex closed when I wake up tomorrow. I'm gonna have to start communicating with people again..
I mean, I probably won't have to go out and talk to them; which is good, because I refuse to do so until I have eyes again.. But, even the lighter forms of communications are gonna be a little unpleasant.
...
..I'm going to need to talk to Freddy soon..
...
..I don't know what I'm going to say to him..
At least I have an idea of how things will go with Arin and whoever else, but Freddy.. That confrontation in the hallway with him will not go ignored, and I don't know how to explain that behavior.. I honestly thought I'd never see him again after I left, so I didn't care what he figured out at the time..
...
- piff, piff, piff -
I gotta say, after living alone my whole life, the sound of someone else descending my carpeted stairway will always be a little jarring..
"I'm hungry.."
"Hi hungry, I'm Mi-"
"Stoppp.. Stop doing that.."
"Hm.." I hum, looking over my shoulder at the fridge, and then at the wolf. "..Tell you what. We still have to put on fresh bandages, so I'll set something out to cook while I work on that."
"Alright, cool.."
...
...
Roxanne's tail twitches uncomfortably as she stares at me from across the island.
...
"..What the fuck are you looking at?" She grumbles, almost trying to use one of the pillars connecting the island to the ceiling to hide herself a bit more.
"Mm.. You weren't kidding, you look like a whole new wolf without all that make-up.."
"Come onn - you said you wouldn't make fun of me.."
...
..It's kind of mesmerizing, honestly.. None of the colorful streaks on her face, no eyeliner or eye-shadow, no artificially colored neon green in front of her face. Without all her little preparations, Roxanne really is just a gray and white wolf.
"I wasn't saying it was bad; just caught me by surprise."
"..I shouldn't have listened to y-"
"Did you pony-tail your hair?" I interject, cocking my brows once I realize one of the bigger oddities of Roxanne's appearance.. She still left some hair to hang in front of her face like usual, but the entire metric-ton of hair on the back of her head has been tied and is hanging down her back much tighter than usual.
"Fuck you.."
"Wow.. That's a lot of hair to tie up; nicely done."
"O-Okay, enough. I'll take it out if you're gonna make such a big fuckin' deal of it.." Roxanne quickly retorts, retreating a bit and bringing her hands behind her head.
"Oh- No, sorry, keep it.."
"I'm not-"
"I like it, keep it up."
...
..Roxanne's hands don't move, but she keeps them up behind her head as if she's threatening to take the hair-tie out..
"..Fuck you.."
"Look.. It's different, so I thought it was kinda neat.."
"Mike- I come down here and the first thing you do is make everything about my appearance. Think you're helping me feel less self-conscious about it?" She whines, lowering her hands and using them to make a 'what the fuck?" motion.
"I still never said it was bad, I'm just getting a good look."
"ughh.." Roxanne groans, pretending not to hide further behind the pillar. "..Take a fuckin' picture, it'll last longer.."
"Chill, wolfie. Look - I'll even say it's a nice change of pace." I explain, nonchalantly setting my coffee on the shelf. "You're usually all sharp and glamorous with the make-up on and whatnot, but without them you look smooth and natural. Yeah - maybe you don't look as 'cool', but you make up for it by looking cute."
...
"..The fuck'd you just-..?"
...
..The fuck'd I just..?
"..I didn't-.. Sorry that came out weird, I didn't mean-.." I stutter, raising my hands defensively.
"W..Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"
"Calm down, I was just-.. trying to make you feel better, so.."
"Did you mean that?" Roxanne huffs, suddenly apathetic about her appearance and shoving by the counter to approach me like I gave her a grave insult.
"Come on.. How am I supposed to answer that without you getting angry at me..?"
"I'm already angry with you, you fuckin'-..!"
..Well..
..I guess it's mildly entertaining to see Roxanne blush like a tomato again; it's been a while since she last got embarrassed enough for that..
...
I'm gonna die..
"Look, I was just trying to make you feel less on edge.. I didn't even mean to say that - it just came out before I could stop it.."
"F-Fuck..!"
Good goin' Mike. That sure calmed her down.
"I-.. No, not like that, I just meant-" I further stumble over my words, holding my hands up and backing up a step as she marches right in front of me.
"You talk to all women this way..?!"
"No, I rarely even talk to other women.."
"Yeah - probably 'cause you scare them away with all your frickin' flirting..!"
"I wasn't 'flirting' with you - come on, Rox.."
"H-How else am I supposed to take that..?!"
"You've been making innuendos all day - it's suddenly not funny anymore when I say something 'barely' considered romantic?"
" *I* was Joking..!"
"Well maybe I was-"
"You gonna tell me you were kidding, too..?!"
...
"W..Well, no, but I just meant-.."
"C-Creep.."
"Come on; you know what I meant.."
"I sure as hell do, you purple freak..!"
"Rox, people call each other cute all the time." I defend, poking her away from me like I'm poking a bear with a stick.
"No you don't.."
"Yes I do.. I mean - Evan was cute, wasn't he? Kids are cute.."
"That's not the same 'cute', Michael; It means something totally different when you're talking about an adult."
"That's not true, people can call other people cute in a non-romantic way. You hear that kind of thing all the time.."
"You're so fucking hopeless, Mike, you-.. What does cute even mean in a non-romantic way?"
"Cats are cute, and.. most people aren't romantically interested in cats whatsoever, obviously.."
"Give me a fuckin' person."
"Chica's cute in-"
"What?"
...
"..I was saying Chica's cute in an innocent kind of way.. It's hard not to get endeared watching her and Trudge run around like childish soulmates."
...
"..No she isn't, I'm-.."
"..What?"
...
Roxanne's looking at me like I just flashed a memetic agent at her..
"..What happened to me being cute?"
"I said you're-, uhm.. What?"
"What the fuck- what does she have that I don't?"
"What the hell are we even talking about right now..?"
...
...
"..Alright, I'm-.." Roxanne begins, folding her arms and backing up a step. "..I'm giving you a chance to redo this whole conversation, understand?"
"No?"
"Pretend I'm walking down those stairs again, got it?"
"Huh?"
"Hey, how do I look?" Roxanne fake-chimes, holding her arms out like she's presenting herself.
...
...
"..You look fine, woman.."
"Thank you."
...
...
"So what did the thing that took your body look like? Was it just another robot kinda deal?"
I groan under my breath, wrapping one big bandage around Roxanne's midsection.
"..No, he just looked like a bunch of wires with some plastic scattered around.."
"I can't really make anything out in my mind with that description."
"I'm not sure what to tell you.. Y'know, I turned the TV to entertain you so you'd let me focus on doing these bandages quickly.." I grumble, snapping off a bandage and immediately beginning to circle her stomach with a second one, secretly hoping to change the topic..
"You're more interactive. I can't tease the TV."
"Riveting.. Don't take the batteries out of the remote next time. There's a whole package of them in the cabinet to the right of the sink."
"M'kay."
...
"What did you do with those, by the way..?"
"Found something. Don't know what it was, didn't know what it did. Still don't."
"Terrifying"
"Mmhm." Roxanne hums, looking down at herself and watching me work. "..Why do I have to be facing away from you for this part?"
"The thought of wrapping something around your midsection with you staring straight down at me is nightmare fuel."
"Aww." Roxanne snickers, holding her arms out in front of her a bit like she's holding on to something invisible. "I didn't even consider that. Coulda' had your head right here, and you'dve been to focused to realize I was doing anything."
"Precisely the problem, Watson."
"Can't believe you didn't want me to give you a face full of tummy fur."
"What?"
"Imagine it- just.. poof." Roxanne puffs her cheeks(?) to make sound effects, miming taking my head and literally just shoving it into her belly.
...
"..You're so weird today.."
"Come onn~. It would've felt like burying your face in a pillow."
"I'd rather just bury my face in a pillow, then."
"Pillows aren't warm like I am."
"What are you even trying to do right now - convince me to bury my face in your belly fur?"
"I'm just bored and makin' conversation." Roxanne chuckles, content with her fuckery thus far. "..Most people wouldn't pass up an opportunity like that, by the way."
"I dunno if you've been able to tell thus far, but I'm not quite like most people."
..Wh-Mmff-..?
...
Roxanne, in all of her boundless wisdom, has decided the natural reaction to that statement was to coyly reach back and cover my mouth with one of her hands.
I, unable to work while she's doing this, make myself busy by staring at her with the most exasperated and un-amused glare I can muster.
"Mmm.. See? Isn't my fur warm?"
"..."
"And this is just my hand - imagine a face full of tummy."
"..."
...
..Sighhh..
Both unable and more-or-less unwilling to gratify those statements with a response, I just sigh and decide to wait until she gets bored.
"Y'know, If you're- *What th-?!*"
..However, as soon as I start to exhale, Roxanne suddenly yanks her hand away from my mouth as if I bit her.
"..?"
"Jesus.. That was unpleasant.." She grumbles, shaking her hand a bit.
"..What happened?"
"You breathed, moron."
"Well yeah I-.. I know I'm dead, but you know I still breathe."
"Yeah - but I didn't know it was so fuckin' cold you damn refrigerator.."
"..What, my breath?"
"Yes."
"..I guess that makes sense, I don't produce as much body heat as I used to."
"I know, but your body is like, lukewarm. Didn't think your breath would be icey."
"What, really?"
"Yes, Mike- you've never felt your own breath?"
"I have, I just honestly remember it being warm like normal in the Pizzaplex."
"It was warm in the Pizzaplex.. Try feeling it now and see what I mean."
"I can't feel it now, by body took too much damage the night Cooper died."
"..What the hell does that even mean?"
..I internally sigh, but.. fair enough..
"We've talked about this before, but when the connection between my nerves and my brain is damaged, I don't feel as much pain as I would normally. That actually goes twice as much for temperatures."
...
"Okay - but you were able to feel your breath in the Pizzaplex?"
"I'd healed a bunch over the last year. My nerves came back, and so did my susceptibility to feeling temperatures."
"What the fuck is up with that, actually? How are you just 'getting better?' "
"I don't know; something something 'Remnant did it'.. This is what I was talking about regarding the weird side-effects Remnant has that my father didn't seem to know about at first, which makes me think he discovered it instead of creating it."
"What? You don't think he would've tried to add a healing superpower to that substance if he had the chance? Like that isn't fuckin' sick?"
"He might've, but.. I don't know - if my father meant to make use of the regeneration, or even knew about it's existence, I feel like he wouldn'tve kept trapping souls in metal suits that Remnant can't regenerate back when he was still doing research with it."
...
"This is a weird conversation."
"Yes - one I'd like to abort, if that's alright.."
"Yep." Roxanne hums, turning away and letting me continue with the bandaging. "..Soooo what's for dinner?"
"Steak I wanted to eat before it started getting old."
"Ooo~, lucky me."
"I'm supposed to get a new supply of meats soon, straight from one of the companies that do that kind of thing."
"Well aren't you professional."
"..Not really?"
"You've got two mouths to feed now, so keep that in mind when you're goin' out."
...
"..You're not staying with me, you're only here until the Pizzaplex is all cleaned."
"Well then have me over when you're planning to eat steak."
"Coming over here cannot be worth just a steak dinner."
"Why - what's wrong with this place?" Roxanne hums, looking around as if I was hinting that there's something hidden here.
"..I just mean it's probably boring compared to the Pizzaplex. For you, anyway."
Just as I finish my sentence, I delicately stick the edge of the tape onto her fur and lean back a bit to admire my work.
"Well you obviously do something to pass the time you're without me." Roxy asserts, identifying and locking on to a small assortment of disks underneath the TV. "..Like those."
"Mm.."
"Movies?"
"Games.. Don't usually buy physical versions of movies; and the ones I do buy usually stay at your place."
"Nerd."
"..What?"
"Nerrddd." Roxanne joyfully emphasizes, dramatically leaning forward to get a closer look at my tiny 'collection'.
...
"What are you doing?"
"Looking for a game to make fun of you about."
"..Alright.."
...
"That one looks cringe." Roxanne announces, extending her finger at one of the cases.
"..Don't say 'cringe' you fuckin'-"
"The guy on the cover looks LARP-y."
...
Begrudgingly, I peer beside her to see what she's pointing at.
...
"..He's just wearing a lot of equipment.. Who taught you to say 'cringe' and 'LARP'?"
"What's he use it all for?"
"I don't know - probably just has a bunch of stuff he has just-in-case.. It's a stealth game, I think."
"Ahhhhhh.."
"..."
...
"So he's a coward."
...
"Stealth is.. overwhelmingly practical, wolf.." I comment, sighing under my breath.
"Yeah, for cowards."
...
..Y'know what, this is a good opportunity.. Soft couch behind her, she's facing the opposite direction of me, she's totally distracted..
Maybe it's time for a little counter-fuckery.
...
I slowly raise my arms and carefully approach the back of Roxanne's head with them.
...
"Tell me more about how dumb stealth is."
"All I'm saying is that you're much more of a man if you can just face shit head on, y'know what I mean?"
"Totally."
"It's- AA-MMPFF!"
- POMPF -
In one quick motion, I reached over her shoulder, held her snout shut, and wrapped my other arm around her neck (without touching her with my metal hand..) like I was assassinating her. Then, I tug her backwards off the bar stool and send her flailing onto the couch.
Stealth take-down.
...
...
She looks like I just insulted her and all of her ancestors.
...
Surely this is the time to poke the bear a bit further.
...
"Got you."
"Mike."
"I told you st-"
"Come here."
Shit.
...
- Nnf.. -
"Get back here."
"Put your damn claws awa-"
"Come here!"
Shit shit sh-
"
- *Nab* -
"Got your leg~!"
Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit
...
Hmmmm...
...
It's dark out.. I mean - obviously, it's been dark out ever since Roxanne and I came back from the woods around us. I suppose I'm just.. Acknowledging the atmosphere.
Tons of natural light floods into the house through the windows during the day, which makes it feel like this house really is just a tiny little sequence of walls that enclose just a fraction of the outside world we live in. When it's night, however, it's the opposite.
I live somewhere secluded, which means there aren't any other sources of light outside the house. So, when it gets dark out, the pitch black darkness outside makes it feel like this illuminated house is the whole world. Like outside is 'out of bounds', or something.
...
Also helps make me feel alone, which is a good thing.
Sometimes it helps to feel like I'm the only person on the planet.
...
..I should focus on washing the dishes..
It should literally take me five minutes if I just pay attention..Two plates, some silverware, and.. Like, eight mugs..
...
...
"..Lay your heart into my Perfect Machine~.."
...
"..I will use it to protect you from me~.. ..I will never let you see what's beneath-"
"Are you singing?"
...
I may have failed to remember that, despite how dark it is outside, I am not, in fact, alone..
..I stare at Roxanne with the most fake-ass 'clueless' look you could ever imagine..
...
"No.."
"Liar~!"
"I thought you went upstairs.."
"I thought you were too brooding and edgy to like such trivial things as 'music'~." Roxanne joyfully teases, skipping around the island and behind the sink I'm currently using.
"I'm not edgy, I just don't talk 24/7.."
"Mhm, you sing."
..Alright, time to change the topic.
...
"..It's getting late, by the way." I comment as casually as I can, setting down the last of the mugs.
"I'm not tired."
...
"What are you - ten?"
...
..After deciding to try and wait for Roxanne to get tired, we kinda hit this weird contented silence on the couch. I turned the TV on, but neither of us are watching it. I'm fidgeting with my watch and being forced to pamper the tail in my lap every few seconds, and Roxanne's laying horizontally, using the arm-rest as a head-rest, and taking up the rest of the couch space while nonchalantly messing around on my phone.. A bad idea to let her do that, for sure, but.. It's keeping her quiet and peaceful, for now..
...
...
...
- wh-pff -
"Jesus Christ - give me a second to finish what I'm doing and I'll pet your friggin' tail.." I huff, batting the practically vibrating 'tail' in question away from my face.
"Mm."
...
...
"There.." I mutter, releasing the tension and passive aggressively stroking the furry appendage in my lap.
"Mmm~.."
...
...
Sigh..
"..So what've you found to do on that magical prismatic rectangle in your hands?"
"Checking your search history. Stop using your metal hand, please."
"Sorry.. Well 'I' have nothing to hide, so don't expect very much." I hum matter-of-factly.
"You learned to use private browsing, huh?"
"Methinks you need to re-evaluate what corpses do in their free time.. Seriously - what is with you today?"
"..What about me?" Roxanne curiously asks, lowering the phone to peer over at me.
...
"..Suggestive teasing is far from unusual with you, but it's been pretty blatant and repetitive this afternoon.." I respond, cocking a brow.
"It's evening."
"It's night, and I just meant 'after 12:00pm'."
"Mm. You don't think it's funny?"
"No more or less than your usual shenanigans, it's just.. weird how often you resorted to it today."
"Oh." She mumbles, staring at me for a few seconds before bringing the phone in front of her face again. "..I dunno, I don't really think about it."
...
"..Maybe it's because you aren't in the Pizzaplex anymore.. Any semblance of 'filter' has-"
"Why did you look up 'wolf absurdities'?"
"What?"
"On your phone."
...
"..Oh- that was a while ago.. How far back are you looking?"
"I've been doing this for a while, you don't look up very interesting things.."
"Mm. Well that article was one Trudge sent me; I was gonna come use it to pester you, but when I walked into your room, you slammed my laptop shut, and that obviously took priority."
...
"..I wasn't even doing anything.." Roxanne grumbles under her breath, recalling the unpleasant memory.
"You didn't mean to do anything."
"..No, I wasn't *doing* anything."
"Arin told me you were searching stuff up on my laptop and accidentally looked up NSFW."
...
"..What the hell was that monstrosity that just came out of your mouth?"
"He told me you accidentally looked up porn, is what that means."
"I didn't fuckin' mean t-.. ghh.."
"I know you didn't mean to. Don't think you're a perv or anything, I just get to tease you back from time to time." I explain, chuckling under my breath while batting the tail around in my lap a bit.
...
...
"That's an invasion of privacy.." Roxanne mutters, actively swiping around on my phone again.
"Maybe. It is the companies' internet you're using, so I guess it's understandable that they're allowed to see what people do on it.."
"Does your wife do that too?"
...
"What?"
"Does it show what people are looking up, like it does at the Pizzaplex?"
"Oh- Ha.."
"..What?"
"Wi-fi, not 'wife'." I explain, pretending not to be grinning.
"What-ever.."
"But no, it doesn't. A lot of Wi-Fi's have that feature, but I don't think mine does.. If it does, I certainly don't know how to check it."
"Oh.."
...
"..I saw your eyebrows lift, wolf, don't-"
"Can't stop me."
"Yes I can, the Wi-Fi box is all of five steps away."
"Finee~." Roxanne pleasantly hums. "Was just fucking with you anyway."
..I'm not sure how true that is after how you've been today..
...
Mm..
"Check the time for me."
"Mm."
...
...
"..Damn, that late already?"
"It's not working, chill the fuck out.." Roxanne grumbles, repeatedly swiping in a direction.
...
"Pulling from the top isn't working?"
"No."
"Mm. Sometimes it doesn't while you've got some other things active."
"What things?"
"Let me see." I casually request, sticking my arm out for Roxanne to hand me the phone.
...
"Ugh... - huff -"
After groaning in displeasure for some reason, Roxanne decides that in order to accomplish my task, she needs to push herself upright on the couch.
..I think she's trying to get up when the tail slides off my lap, but by the time I'm able to figure out the intention, Roxanne's head suddenly lands by my lap instead - now using my leg as a headrest.
Having accomplished swapping her orientation on the couch for whatever fucking reason, Roxy taps a couple things on my phone before tilting it up to show me.
...
..Oh - she did all that so that she could show me what's on the phone.. It would've been significantly easier to just hand me the damn rectangle, but you do you..
..I'm not reaching over there to pet your tail, though..
...
I stare at Roxanne like she's insane for a few seconds before finally looking at the small device in her hand, then reaching up a bit to tap on it.
"Use your other hand." Wolfie casually asks.
"What?"
"Use the not-metal one, please."
"..I can use whatever hand I want to touch my phone, Rox - I'm not touching you whatsoever.."
...
Roxy just silently whines under her breath as I ignore her ridiculous request.
...
...
"It's near midnight, wolfie." I comment, signaling that I'm done messing with the phone.
"I'll go to bed soon, just gimmie like five more minutes to get tired enough." Roxanne responds, keeping her head on my leg while she messes around on my phone a bit more.
"Mm."
...
..I look up at the television for a few moments, but the various ads currently playing don't award me any entertainment, so I'm back to watching wolfie circumnavigate my phone screen like a grandma.. Guess it's nice she turned around so I could see this time..
...
...
Roxanne's eyes go unfocused for a moment. I'm about to ask her what she's thinking about when something randomly flicks on the other side of the couch.
...
Then, the curiously glances up at me while intentionally flicking her tail around for a few seconds.. Shortly after, she realizes this is a stupid idea.
"Oh shit, right, sorry, you're not over there.." Roxy mutters, quickly returning to my phone like a kid with an iPad.
"Despite my best efforts, I am not, in fact, over there."
"Sorry, was trying to get you to pet my tail again."
I quietly release an amused huff as I sink into the couch a bit more.
"..There was a point in time where you would never have admitted you wanted me to pet your tail."
"It feels good."
"I figured. You're like a dog sometimes."
"Stop saying that.."
"Stop biting my pillows."
"I only did that once - I was stressed, okay?"
"I know, I know.." I pleasantly hum, letting my head fall back a moment. "..I'm not able to mess with you like you mess with me until you're tired, so I'm getting it out of my system now."
"Shut up, you like it when I mess with you."
"What a wildly bold claim.."
"Whatever, shush."
...
...
"Well, since your tail's off the table, what do I pet now?"
"Maybe try keeping your hands to yourself."
...
..Well now I can't just sit here and not find some way to bug her.
...
Poke.
..Roxanne's ear twitches like a cat's does when I touch it. The amount of movement is wildly unnecessary and over in less than a fraction of a second, but Roxanne herself doesn't seem to care enough to let it take away from her precious adventure across the interwebs.
...
Poke.
It twitches again.
I quickly touch it again while it's still expecting my hand to be around, and it doesn't flick away this time.
...
As consequence of letting me get bored, Roxanne is now condemned to a purple man brushing and messing around with her ears until she either gets up or says something.
..Big-ass wolf ears, too.. Suppose it makes sense, on account of her being a big-ass wolf, but y'know..
...
...
"Your fur's soft."
"I got out of the shower, like, fourty-five minutes ago. This is literally as fresh as my fur's ever gonna get."
"Mm.."
"You're out of shampoo."
"I have more bottles."
"M'kay."
...
...
"..What the hell do you mean I'm out of shampoo?"
...
Roxanne stares off into space for a second before side-eyeing me.
"..I mean you're out of shampoo."
"There was still a sixth of the bottle left in there."
"..Yeah?"
"You used it all?"
"I'm covered in fucking fur."
"You go through a bottle of shampoo in less than a week?"
"Usually a few days longer, your bottles are small."
...
"..Whatever.."
Roxanne, completely indifferent to my exasperation, simply looks back down at the phone upon being told the conversation is over.
...
...
..I can't believe she hasn't said anything about the ears yet.. I'm playing charades with these damn things..
...
For a few seconds, I keep stroking her ears upward as if I'm trying to point them into arrowheads.
Of course, no reaction, so I find something else to do.
...
Moreso curious how it feels rather than trying to annoy Roxy, I stick a finger inside the tuft of hair inside her ear.
...
..How do these things even work..
...
...
I decide the only logical course of action after messing around with the caved area inside the ear is poof aside the fur until both fingers actually find the ear-holes and plug them.
...
..Only after a few seconds do Roxanne's eyes go unfocused again.. Finally noticing she's been deafened, she curiously tilts her head up at me as if I politely asked for her attention.
...
An innocent 'what's up?' stare is not the standard reaction one would give to someone plugging their ears randomly..
...
...
After far too long of this dumbass staring contest, I lift both my hands out of her auditory sensors.
"Really just 'okay' with that, huh?"
"..What?"
"Your ears?"
"..It's fine - I don't really care. Feels good."
...
"What doesn't feel good to you?"
"Nn.." Roxanne suddenly huffs, instinctively reaching up and batting my right hand further away from her ear. "..Doesn't feel good when you keep fuggin' using that hand."
...
"Wolf - it literally didn't bother you for the entire duration I was messing with you until you just now realized I was using it. It isn't going to hurt you - if there was any reason for it too, it would've done so already."
"Just stoppp.. It doesn't really bother me unless I'm stressing out, and when I'm not, you using it on me stresses me out."
"It doesn't have a mind of its own, Roxy.."
"Apparently, you don't either, 'cause I've asked you to stop like three times now."
"Yeah, but I've been trying to show you that it's harmless."
"Is that why I've got bandages around my throat? Because it's harmless?"
...
..Sigh..
"..Alright, fine, sorry." I grumble quietly, tucking the hand away.
Roxanne continues to impassively stare at me for a few seconds, before she takes a deep breath and sighs while looking back down at my phone.
...
"It's fine.. I know it's not actually dangerous or whatever.. Just makes me uncomfortable.."
"I'm sorry for hurting you, I really didn't mean to."
"I said it's fine.." Roxy whines, turning off the phone and letting it rest on her chest. "..It's probably what I deserve for cutting your arm off in the first place.."
"Rox-"
"I know, I know."
"I told you not to apologize for that anymore; stop feeling bad about it."
"I know. it just seemed relevant.."
"The new arm's just as good as the old one, there's no reason for you to-"
"I *know.* I heard you the first time, sheesh.."
...
Roxanne peacefully rests with her eyes closed and the phone on her chest for a few moments.
...
...
"Mike.."
...
"Yep..?
...
...
...
"There's still.. a lot we need to talk about.."
...
...
"I know.."
"..."
...
"..But we've already talked about more than enough for one night, alright?"
"Still, we-"
"What I mean is 'stop thinking about it for now'.. There's too much to think about; if you rack your brain over it anymore, you won't be able to sleep tonight.."
...
"Alright."
"Ready for bed?"
"Mhm.."
Roxanne begrudgingly sits up and blinks a few times, letting me rise to a stand before she simply falls backwards on the couch again.
...
"Your bed's upstairs."
"I know the bed's-.." Roxanne starts, staring at the ceiling and trailing off for a moment.
"..."
...
"..I want to sleep on the couch tonight.."
...
"..Really? ..The bed's.. perfectly fine - I got everything washed since you woke up this morning."
"I know, but I just-.. I'll take the couch.." She mutters, already thoughtfully closing her eyes.
...
...
"Alright.."
"..."
...
"..I know people say this as a nicety, but seriously, don't be afraid to wake me up if you need something.. I mean, if there's ever a night where it'd be acceptable to throw that ego away and ask someone for something, tonight's that night. I'm sure I'll be half-awake anyway, since I'm.. a night-guard.."
...
"Okay."
...
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
.-..
...
-..-.
..-.
.-.-._..
.._.-..
'_..-.-.-.-..-
.-.._.-..-._.
_._.._.-..._..-
...-._.-._..-.-..-.
'_._._.._.-.-.-..-.-.-..-..-.-.-..-.-.-..-.-.._._._..-._
- creak -
'-..-.-._.-..-.-._.-..-.._.-._.-.._
.-..-..._
._...
...
...
...
..?
..I'm just barely awoken by the sound of a door opening.. However, it isn't the one to the bedroom I'm in.
It was, however, on the second floor with me. Roxanne's come upstairs and waltzed her way over to the room next to mine for whatever reason..
...
I crack my heavy lids open, but don't lift my head just yet since there's nothing for me to look at,
...
..Wow, I'm.. I'm tired..
...
I guess I have been awake for the last, what.. almost 100 hours at this point? ..I didn't get any sleep yesterday, since Roxanne was still unconscious and I was stressing about what to do, but I also didn't get any that night Cooper died, since Roxanne forced me to stay at the Pizzaplex during the day.
...
..I blink once in response to a couple light footsteps in the room over.. The house is dead silent, so it's impossible not to hear literally everything that goes on in here at night.
...
- click -
..That was especially faint, but I'm pretty sure that was the light-switch flicking on in the next room..
Half of me wants to go make sure everything's fine, but it more than likely is.. Makes perfect sense for Roxy to wanna switch over to that room at some point. It's certainly more comfortable than the couch..
...
- thud thud thud -
..What comes next is a confusing mixture of sounds..
Preceded by significantly less delicate footsteps was the sound of.. many things.. A blanket getting tossed, Roxy leaning on the mattress, Roxy pushing off the mattress, then-
- thud thud thud thud -
- click -
...
This time, I can see for myself what just happened.. Light's shining through the cracks of my bedroom door, meaning Roxy turned the lights on in the hallway up here too..
..There's another sound I'm not familiar with.. One so quiet I couldn't hear it while wolfie was prancing about in the other room.. I'm not really sure what to make of it; it sounds like she's..
...
Hyperventilating.
Well shit - no more sleep for purple man.
I feel myself tense up once I recognize the sound. I mean to push myself up and slide out of bed, but my body's too heavy and worn from the lack of rest, making my actions considerably slower than I'd like them to be.
- thud thud thud thUD -
- Creak -
Just as I manage to sit up, light floods the room as the door pushes open. My vision's blurry from just waking up, so I quickly raise my arm to block the light and wipe my eyes, but just for a fraction of a second, I think I catch a glimpse of her, and-
-. Purple? .-
In less than a second, my eyes are wiped, and I'm upright staring at the wolf in all her glory.
-. ..No, they're still orange.. That was weir- .-
"O-oh fuck..! Jesus, Michael..! F..Fuck..!" Roxanne whisper-yells, visibly shaken.
"Rox..?" I call out weakly, still fighting to win my consciousness.
"Y..You..!"
"What just-..?"
...
By the time I can fully register everything, Roxanne's leaning over the back corner of my bed in the least convincing 'threatening manner' I've ever seen.
"Y-..! You didn't tell me you had two f-fucking bedrooms..!"
"Wh-..? Yeah - of course I do, the guest bedroom's yours. What are you-?"
"Fuck..!"
"Rox- calm down..! What in the world's wrong with you?"
...
Despite her condition, Roxanne does actually take a second to breathe. However, as her panic fades, an exasperated frustration takes its place.
"Y.. You.." Roxy grumbles through a heavy breath, planting her hands on the far end of the bed like she's threatening the part of me below-the-kneecaps. "..Don't fucking leave me here..!"
"What? I didn't go anywhere, I've been here in bed ever since I said goodnight to you."
"I-I..! I want to talk about your purpose now..! You're not a bad person, you just-!"
"Roxanne, relax. What are you-?"
"I'm fine, w-we need to talk..!"
"Rox, stop." I interject, leaning forward enough to actually be at a reasonable conversation distance. "Chill until you can explain to me what the hell just happened, alright? ..What are you even saying?"
"Mike, you could've fucking-!"
"Calm, calm.." I whisper, gesturing with my hands to take it down a notch.
...
"..I thought you fucking left..!" Roxanne quietly barks, as if we're both trying not to wake up a sleeping baby in the other room.
"..Why..? Because I wasn't in the other room?"
"I didn't know you had two bedrooms..!"
"Sorry, I thought you explored the house enough to-.. Well, so what anyway? What does it matter if I leave..?"
"What the fuck do you mean 'what does it matter'..?!"
"C..Calm down, please.. What- am I not allowed to leave my house? Can you not handle being alone for ten minutes..?"
'Mike-! I thought you left, and weren't coming back! I-I thought you left me here..!"
"Oh-, like *leave* leave?"
"*Yes!*"
"No. Why would I just-?"
"You a-already tried to frickin' leave me once! And there's *no reason* to think you fucking won't try again!"
"Shh, Rox.."
"W-We need to talk about it, right now..!"
"W-?"
"*Right now!*"
"Roxanne, enough..!" I desperately assert, practically fighting her off from dragging me off the bed herself. "I'm not going anywhere..!"
"Y-..! You might..!"
"No, I won't." I deny, attempting to hold her still for a moment. "Listen- I get what you're saying, but I will not go anywhere. Sure as hell not tonight."
"Mike- I can't know that, until we talk about it..!"
"It won't make a difference either way, wolf. You're not in the condition to think through an argument, and I'm not even completely convinced I'm conscious yet."
"T-! Then what the fuck am I supposed to do..?!"
...
"..Listen.."
"Mike..!"
"I know, I know, but I seriously think you need to go to bed.. We'll t-.. - sigh - We'll talk about it sometime.. But you need to be fully aware when we do so, right?"
"W-What if I wake up and you're fucking gone..?!"
Successfully having stopped her from stampeding around with one hand, I reach for her shoulder with my other.
"I won't be, I-.."
"What if I w-AAAH!"
Without warning, Roxanne suddenly yelps and practically flies backward onto my floor. I quickly move to eject from bed, but Roxy's quick to provide an immediate explanation.
"S-Stop! Stop with that fucking hand - *Please!* Fuck..!"
Wh-..?
..Oh - I didn't even consider which hand I was reaching for her with.. Why the hell would I have? It's harmless..! It's not gonna- nngh...
"..Rox, I wasn't going to-"
"Just stop! I hate it so f-fucking much..! I hate it!"
...
"No- alright, stop. Enough, chill.." I begin, completely out of bed and once again motioning for her to calm down.
"You-!"
"Stop. Relax."
"I d-!"
"Calm down."
"Nngh..!"
...
"Breathe, wolf."
"I am breathing, you-"
"Please, just, chill.. It's too late in the night to start flying across the room and screaming at each other - we're not getting anywhere right now, so chill."
"I'm not a frickin' kid..!"
"Breathe.."
...
...
...
"I'm calm.. I'm calm, we-"
"Wait, wait, not yet.. Look, I know I'm being annoying, but keep taking it down a notch.."
"..I am calm.."
"Calm down a little more, please.."
"Not a kid.."
"Keep going.."
...
...
...
"..I'm an adult, Mike - I don't need you to fuggin' baby me into this shit.."
"I know, I know, sorry.. Relax."
...
...
...
...
..Eventually, I'm able to see it on her expression when she's actually thrown away her ego to calm down just enough.. When I can see the lines and dark spots under her eyes..
...
"..Mike, I don't-.."
...
"I'll be here when you wake up, I guarantee it."
"I know, but you might-.. ugh.."
...
"You wanna sleep and talk about this tomorrow?"
...
"..Yes.."
Thought so.. You're exhausted, of course you are. You were moving a lot today, despite what I told you about not-moving to let your body recover from the blood loss..
"Alright.. You want to use the guest bedroom now?"
"Yes.. I don't need you to fuckin' escort me.."
"I wanna grab something from downstairs now that I'm up anyway."
...
"Fine.." Roxanne mutters while she slowly starts to pace for the door, evidently a little embarrassed about her behavior.
"Sorry for scaring you."
...
"Sorry for waking you.."
"I don't really need sleep, I told you to wake me if you needed anything anyway."
...
"I'm exploring the rest of the damn house tomorrow, too.." She grumbles while I walk past her, toward the light switch next to the steps.
"Might be a good idea. Turning off the lights."
- click -
...
..Not really sure what to do, I give Roxanne a thumbs up after a few seconds, like I'm proudly confirming that this big boy knows how to flick a lightswitch.
...
"..God damn, Mike.. Those eyes aren't what I wanna fuckin' see in a dark hallway.."
"I'm a spooky ghost."
"You're a purple idiot.." Roxy mutters, turning into her room and holding the side of the door, glaring at me one last time. "..What could you possibly need downstairs?"
...
"I left my phone down there. Need to charge it for tomorrow." I nonchalantly respond, lying through my teeth..
...
"Fine.."
...
"..Look - don't feel bad, wolf.. There were a lot of vile knowledge and experiences you've obtained in the last couple of days; the occasional panic is actually really tame for what I was expecting. No need to feel embarrassed about it.."
"I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"No."
Despite how serious that answer probably should be, I can't help but respond with an amused huff.
"That's alright, you know where I am for whenever you have another 'episode'.. All I ask is that you just knock instead of flinging my door open next time."
"Perv."
"Not what I meant.."
"Too late. Goodnight purple man."
"Goodn-"
- click -
...
I stare at the closed door a few inches from my nose for a while, making sense of it all.
...
..Sheesh..
...
...
..I wonder what she came upstairs to talk to me about..
...
...
Well anyway.. She's probably gonna notice she hasn't heard me walk away from her door yet, so I should get a schmove on.
..Like a machine, my feet solemnly begin carrying me to my next destination.
...
Ha.. I might've been lying about needing to charge my phone and all that.. But, I really do need to stop downstairs for a moment, 'cause I want a, uhm..
...
..Sigh..
..'Cause I desperately, desperately need a cup of coffee..
NOTES (Bottom edition (Don't act like you're not impressed))
LISTENLISTEN LISTEN, LISTEN FOR A SEC
Okay? Okay.
Y'know how I was saying some nonsense about starting a Discord server for Cassiun and I's fics? To be honest, I thought there would be like a tiny handful of people who'd join that never really talked and would just be there for the announcements.
The server was an overwhelming success, in every sense of the word.
As of writing this we've got almost 70 members, a large group of people who are constantly chatting and blowing up every channel every day, we're very frequently voice-chatting and streaming games to each other - it's been amazing. So much of my day has turned into socializing in the server.
BUT, what probably appeals to YOU, is that there is so much more there than what I advertised before.
An unbelievable amount of fan-art has come in since chapter 40. Dozens and dozens. I've barely posted any of it on the Reddit at all with how far behind I am.
We have professional-quality voice acting from several people, a new server-banner in which we're doing a one-character-per-artist thing, and is almost entirely filled; I've started posting daily sneak-peaks of the chapter I'm working on in the server, we have a Minecraft Server, we have so much shit. Far more than I ever thought possible.
(Not kidding about the voice acting, by the way. You're seriously gonna wanna check that out - I even think I'm going to make an audio-log based thing that Mike records in between each chapter. So. Much. Has. Been. Done. (Oh- we also don't have a voice actor for Roxanne; we've more or less just been making do lmao. You don't have to 'try out' or anything, nor does your voice have to sound like in-game Roxanne at all, literally just hop on in and mess around if you get bored. If you think it's fun, it'd be really cool to do some joined VA-ing :D (Also literally zero pressure. None of us are professional voice-actors; we're literally just nerds having fun. If you wanna mess around voicing literally any character, hop on in :D )
I'm gonna try updating the Reddit soon with everything I've missed, but to be honest, there's just so much art. There's gonna be some I can't even find because it got lost in the pool of it all.
Anyway, uh. Come join :)
ARRIGHT THATS ALL THE IMPORTANT STUFF
Sorry this chapter took a bit - it ended up pretty dang long too. Even with how long it ended up, there's still a lot that needed to be gone over that I just couldn't fit in, so if it seems like I forgot to consider something, I promise, I didn't, and it's coming :D
There's a lot of this chapter that ended up never getting edited, and that might've been obvious at a few parts.. Eventually, I just struggled maintaining the motivation to re-read after writing for so long, and think I fried. But! Got as much thrown into this chapter as I could without cluttering it too much, and despite not even coming *close* to all of the things that need to be considered after such a revelation to the wolf, I like to think I've handled what I already wrote down with some degree of decency. I'm sure there's mistakes littered throughout the chapter here and there, and I'll come back to patch them out before too long, but until then, it's off to chapter 42 with this rat.
(Don't be afraid to check the server for daily updates and chapter 42 sneak peaks ;) )
Arright see y'all in a bit.
REDDIT AND DISCORD
Reddit is "u/ParticularlyLargeRat". You might need to type in the full name for my account to show up in the search bar.
THE DISCORD INVITE LINK WILL BE ON THE REDDIT! IF YOU CAN'T ACCESS THE REDDIT, PM ME, AND I'LL PERSONALLY SEND YOU THE INVITE!