Wife of the Wolf, Husband of the Sun
Chapter Thirty-Four.
Cersei felt at though her head was going to split apart, the storm that had raged over Dragonstone the night before had lasted all through the night and had kept her awake until the sun had finally broken through the clouds, she had only managed then to close her eyes and even then only for a few minutes before she had to awake and attend her duties, she would've stayed in her bed and rise when it suited her but she knew that she couldn't, Rhaegar had trusted her to run the castle for him and she could not let him down.
She missed her husband, he seemed to be spending most of his time now with the maester and the castellan now more than he ever did with her, he would still come to her bed and take her and she did not mind that, she would never deny Rhaegar and the pleasure she brought to him was like nothing she had ever experienced, not even Jaime had been able to make her feel like Rhaegar did but he never seemed to have time for her in the day anymore, he missed how gently he would speak to her and how in the early days when they had come to Dragonstone he would sit with her and smile, she loved him more than ever when he smiled. Her Dragon Prince was so melancholy that when he did finally smile for her then it was more beautiful than the sun, brighter than any piece of gold in Casterly Rock.
She missed his singing even more than his smiles however, the last time he had sang for her was at their wedding feast back in King's Landing in the throne room of the Red Keep, his harp had been high and beautiful just like his voice and it had made her weep, she had sworn when she had been a little girl that nothing would ever make her cry. She was a lioness after all and she would always be strong but the words and the notes had caused her to tear up, no one had said anything to her of course. It was her wedding night, she could cry if she wanted too.
It had truly been the best night of her entire life, nothing was sure to match it. There had been seven bards and dozens upon dozens of singers and food that had been some of the most delicious that she had ever taste and so much wine that towards the end of the feast that Cersei could hardly stand, she danced all night until her feet were sore and then she danced even more with her brother, her father, her uncles and so many lords and knights and her husband at least four times.
The moment she had been taken to his bed had to the best the most joyous of her life, this had been the moment that she had been looking for such a long time. He has kissed her neck and her breasts and between her legs and when he thrust inside of her it had brought her far more pleasure than Jaime had ever had, when the sun has finally risen she didn't want to awake. She wanted to stay in her dragon's arms forever.
But now all those memories just seemed like sweet dreams to her, half remembered and foolish. She wanted him back at her side, she wanted him to kiss her and hold her and fuck her till she couldn't remember her own name. But, he would not come to her and she was forced to content herself with the pleasure of her companions that every princess must have.
Cersei despised the lot of them, the girl from the Riverlands, Jenna was her name, was a pathtic little power grabber and agreed with everything Cersei said without a single thought. Normally Cersei quite liked it when people agreed with her but the girl was so unsubtle about it that it was clear to her that she was simply trying to gain as much favour with her as she could. Cersei would normally have dismissed her but she had changed her mind, the girl was so desperate for any favour to benefit her tiny little house that she was willing to do anything to please her. That would have it's advantages.
Her other ladies were not much better, the ladies from the Westerlands were mostly Lannisters but all of them were from the Lannisport branch of the family and Cersei didn't think that she had ever spoken a word to any of them before in her life and they were all idiots, Cersei could barely stand to hear any of them open their mouths.
The oldest was named Lilianna Lannister and she was the eldest daughter of the Lord of House Lannister of Lannisport, Cersei didn't remember his name although it was possible that she had simply never cared to learn it, she had spent time in Lannisport of course but most of it had been with Jaime, they had wanted to get away from Casterly Rock and from all the little rats that ran around it's halls, waiting to take words to their father's ears. Most of the time in Lannisport had been spent in taverns were they had been forced to dress as lowborn so they would not run any risk of any one noticing them.
Cersei had hated it but she had wanted to be close to Jaime and when he had told her that she was the most beautiful woman in the world no matter what she wore then all her frustrations drained away and Jaime had bought a room for the two of them and they stayed in that room until it was nearly morning and they had to go back before they were found not to be in their rooms.
Lilianna was going to inherit the large manse in the middle of Lannisport and her father had never had any sons, apparently there was some infighting between the Lannisters of Lannisport and the other off branches of the family that also lived in the city, the Lannys, the Lannets and the Lanntells, about the inheritance as many of them had male sons who could be placed in the line of inheritance ahead of her but her father had been adamant that only a Lannister could rule over Lannisport.
Cersei's father had agreed and had made it clear that Lilianna was the heir to the manse and would soon rule over Lannisport as her father did. Cersei had to admit that when she had heard of that, it had stung. Why was her father so adamant to protect some distant cousin's inheritance right and not the right of his own daughter? Did he not see that she had always been the only one to listen to him when he spoke? She was more his son than either of his actual sons, she loved Jaime well, how could she not? He was practically her reflection but he did not have her mind, he did not have a thimble of her wits and Tyrion was a twisted little beast that had killed their mother, neither of them would be able to rule Casterly Rock like it needed to be ruled.
It was always meant to be hers, always. Still, she would be queen now and that was all that she would need, and when Rhaegar died which she hoped was when he was old and grey and their son took his place as king then he would need her help to rule, she would always be the true queen no matter what anyone said, no matter what some old witch said.
Cersei shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts, none of that matter anymore. She had married Rhaegar, her prince and the witch had been right about that but everyone in all the realm knew she was going to marry Rhaegar. She had just been an old fraud who tried to terrify a young girl so she could be rid of her, that was all of it.
She turned her attention down to the needlework in her hands and she frowned at the sight of it, as the best of times she found this to be a complete waste of her time and as the worst of times she wanted to use her needles to stab someone's eyes out, and with her head still threatening to split open these were not the best of times. Her ladies made for perfect targets in her mind, Lilianna was sitting on her left which was often considered to be a place of honour but in truth Cersei had not paid much thought to it, she just knew that someone had to sit at her left and if someone had too then it might as well be a Lannister.
Sitting on her right was Jenna, and oh the girl had blushed and smiled and had crowed about how honoured she was and it had took all Cersei had to keep her smile on her face and to stop herself from wrapping her hands around her throat and chocking the life out of her so she wouldn't have to hear any more words from her but she knew that she couldn't, who would want to serve a queen who throttled her own ladies when they irritated her?
Next to Lilianna were her two younger sisters, the elder was called Marianna and the younger was called Lucille, apparently they also had two younger sisters as well who were too young to leave their home but Cersei hadn't cared to learn their names. To be truthful Cersei didn't like any of them, they may have been her kin but blood was the only thing that bounded them. They were lacking in wits, she had hoped that she might have been able to find something of a friend in Lilanna due to hoping that she would understand what it was like to have what should of been yours but the girl did not rail against the injustices that her sex forced on to her, nor did she rage against the treacherous snakes who dared to call themselves her family, offering sweet smile as they sharpened their blades behind her back.
No, all she did was smile and talk about how beautiful Lannisport was by the day and how it seemed to come alive at night and how one of her favourite things to do was sit at her window at night and watch as the great Lannister fleet sailed around the harbour, Cersei wondered if all women were so feeble and she was the only one that was clever enough to see how unfair it all was, the gods did love their stupid jokes, she had learned that very long ago. She should have been born a man, instead she had been trapped in this feeble cage of flesh and taught how to please and sing and smile.
It in enraged her, and her rage could burn a city to naught but ashes and cinders. The only consolation in all of it was Rhaegar, her sweet Rhaegar made her glad as only as a woman would she have been able to marry him. If she had been born a man then she would never have been able to become a queen, and she had wanted that for such a very long time.
But if she had been a son instead of a daughter then she would have been the Lord of Casterly Rock, she was minute older than Jaime it was hers by right. She would have been the Lord of Casterly Rock, Lord Paramount of the Westerlands, Shield of Lannisport and Warden of the West. Father might never have worn any crowns but he was the king in all but name when he reigned as the hand, any one with half a wit saw that. That was the true reason that he had been dismissed from his position as hand, not because those vile rumors about the King and Cersei's mother having any truth about them.
She might have even served as Rhaegar's hand and all the realm would knew that she was the true king, and all would beg her favour.
But she had not been born a son, she had been born a daughter. She would be the queen that all could see and not the King who would rule from the shadows, this was her lot but it did not matter. She would still rule and her name would be remembered for thousands and thousands of years, her father would be remembered as the man who sired her, Rhaegar as the man who married her, Jaime and Tyrion as her brothers and nothing more.
If Lilianna's foolishness irritated her then her sisters infuriated her, whatever small amount of wits that their older sister might posses had not been passed on down to them as they would often only speak of their dresses and certain men that had caught their eyes, Cersei despised the both of them and if she could when she was the queen then she would have them both sent to the Silent Sisters.
But at least those three were Lannisters, the ones that Cersei hated the most were the two girls from the Reach, distantly related to the Tyrells apparently but that mattered little and less to Cersei and she could not remember to which house either of them belonged too or if in fact they belonged to the same one. They were called Jennifer and Laura and they were both pretty, if Cersei was forced to admit to that much but she didn't think that was saying much to be honest, they were both young and had long brown hair and every girl with brown hair of a certain age was passingly pretty but when age took them they quickly became wizened old hags.
Cersei hated Jennifer the most, not just between the two Reach girls but out of all the ladies that she had been forced to have attend her. She had been the one that Rhaegar had called enchanting and the moment had been burned into her mind, sometimes when she closed her eyes she could still see her sweet husbands saying the words.
He had comforted her about it, had said that no one could be more beautiful than her but it did little too sooth her than and it did even less to calm her rage now. Why her father had allowed these two Reach girls to attend her she could not begin to fathom, couldn't he see that they were threats? If Rhaegar choose to take Jennifer as a mistress, and even the thought of that caused her hands to clench tightly around her needles and she wondered what the rest of her dear ladies would do if she decided to shove them through her eyes, then any children she might bear would prove a threat to her children and there could be a another Blackfyre rebellion.
She could only hope that Rhaegar wasn't so stupid as Aegon the Unworthy had been or as mad as his own father, thankfully he did not seem to be either and she did not think that Rhaegar would be so cruel as to dishonour her with one of her own ladies but even so she could not be sure, she wanted the Reach girl gone.
As looked at Jennifer she realised that she noticed a resemblance to someone from her childhood, Melara Heatherspoon, that was it. It was as if her bedmaid had never fallen into that well all those years ago and she had grown to be a woman, the same brown hair that was so dark that it was almost black as night and eyes that were near enough the same, the resemblance unnerved her but it did set her to thinking.
Dragonstone was dangerous and treacherous, it was often assaulted by fierce storms and winds so strong that it seemed to Cersei that in truth it would be so very easy for it to sweep a grown man off of his feet and down, down, down to the raging sea below. Jennifer was not a slight girl to be sure, growing in the Reach with it's bountiful harvests and great feasts but she was hardly near a man in size, the thought of the whore racing down to meet the seas below caused her to grab her hands to make sure that none could see them shaking with anticipation.
"Sweet cousin." Cersei called to Lilianna with the sweetest voice and the kindest smile that she could muster. "I wonder if you would mind switching seats with dear Jennifer? I would like to know more of our dear lady from the Reach."
The girl did have enough wits not to defy her and soon she switched seats with Jennifer although Cersei did notice that she did not look best pleased, well it was of no matter to her if the girl was pleased or not. It was not for a princess to please her ladies, it was for a princess's ladies to please her so that she might consider letting them stay in her service.
She honestly did not think she would let any of them serve her when she was a queen, she didn't like any of them and they were all lackwits, when she was the queen and back in King's Landing she would surrounded herself with beautiful ladies, none of them would be as beautiful as her of course, and witty as well, though none of the wit would be aimed at her.
Jennifer seemed pleased to be able to sit at her side and answer all of the questions that her princess had for her, she had two older brothers and she was a daughter of House Roxton, she loved her brothers well but she had always wished for a sister and she was oh so very grateful for the chance to serve Cersei and she hoped so much that she would serve her well.
It was pathetic, not as blatant as Jenna had been to be certain but she was still just another ambitious opportunist, grasping at even the slightest chance of power that she could get her grubby little hands on. Cersei would do well to be rid of her as soon as possible, she asked if Jennifer would like to join her for a private walk around Dragonstone and the girl gasped like she had just offered her all of the gold in Casterly Rock and so of course she oh so quickly accepted, a slow smile formed on Cersei's face.
As soon as she had accepted the offer to the door to the small chamber where the ladies were expected to sew until the time came to eat was opened and Cersei was disappointed, she had been hoping that it would've been the Maester who would come and give her some remedy to deal with this pain in her head or failing that, that it might be Rhaegar come to see her but it was only the servants who had brought food to them so they might break their fast.
Cersel had slept later than normal and her ladies had not wanted to break their fast without her and so the servants had been instructed to bring the food to them, like most courses on Dragonstone of late, it was fish. Cersei normally quite liked fish but lately it seem as through ever single meal was fish, fish in the morning, feast when the sun hung high in the sky and fish at the end of the day as well.
To their credit the cooks at least always tried to offer something different with each course but Cersei was growing weary of it, the stores were running low of anything else and there were always fish in the sea. Apparently the lowfolk of the grim little island had been demanding that they open the stores to the rest of the island as it had been a harsh winter for them so far and while the sea was always full at the moment few seemed to be coming to Dragonstone.
Her husband had given into them and allowed them some small access to the stores, sharing what they could afford to give. Cersei had not been pleased when she heard of it, she would have answered them with fire and blood and steel but her husband had made his decision and naught she could say would get him to change his mind. She hoped there would be something different for their supper tonight at least, she wasn't sure what she wouldn't do at the moment for a haunch of Venison, a thick wedge of Pork pie or a few rashers of boar bacon.
The fish was medium sized and a silver grey colour and it was served to them on a bed of lettuce with a few brown mushrooms that had been cooked in butter at the side, Cersei was served first as was her do and she was too hungry to wait for the others to be served and so with her fork and her dagger she sliced free a chunk of the fish and popped into her mouth.
As soon as she popped it in to her mouth she knew that something was wrong, the fish was greasy and it caused her stomach to turn and with rush of vomit the fish landed on the floor. Suddenly there was chaos, once of the servants dropped a platter of fish and older servant with grey hair and sagging teats began to yell at her and told her that she was going to beat her with a wooden spoon until every inch of her flesh was black and blue.
Other servants tried to scoop the fish up while other servants yelled at them to leave them as Cersei's ladies surrounded her and began to call to her and asked so many questions and began to feel her skin to see if she was hot and she felt someone began to feel her throat to see if something was stuck in her throat and the hand at her throat tightened around her neck and Cersei pulled away roughly began to scream at the top of her voice. "Out! Everyone out now! And fetch the Maester now!"
Her fury was a terrible thing to behold, Cersei had always known that and her ladies and the servants fled the room at her command. Her stomach was still turning and her head felt like there was a war drum inside of it that someone would not desist on banging on. She relaxed into her chair and shut her eyes, trying to calm herself.
After a few moments of sitting along in the dark the door was opened and the Maester stepped in, Cersei did not like the man if she was to be honest. She found him to common but he had a Maester's chain and she was all that she had to hand so she would have to make do, he stepped forward to examine her and frowned as she described what had happened to her before a light appeared in his eyes. "My princess...when was the last time that you had your moon blood?"
Cersei felt her mouth drop open and she was half tempted to stand from her chair and slap the man across the face for asking such an impertinent question before it suddenly struck what he actually meant. Her hand fell down to cup at her still flat stomach and a gentle smile began to spread across her face as she realised that it would not be flat for very much longer. "Go and fetch my husband, now."
Cersei did not see the Maester leave nor did she hear him go as she simply kept all of her attention focused on her stomach, her fingers brushing gently over it as she thought of the little prince or princess that grew inside of her. She knew that she could do it, she knew that she wouldn't fail. Not her, not her precious Rhaegar.
The door opened again, much more violently this time and Rhaegar was standing there where Cersei looked up. He was breathing heavily and his purple eyes were wide in shock and Cersei realised that he had run all the way here to her and that thought caused her heart to swell with love for him. His eyes landed on her stomach and Cersei saw something in his eyes, a mixture of emotion that was made of love, relief and satisfaction.
Her prince stepped forward and got down on to his knees, resting his head against her stomach and began to hum a song that Cersei did not recognise but it soothed her and made her tired and so she closed her eyes and listened to her husband sing.
She wouldn't let the wood witch's words come true. She wouldn't.
End of Chapter Thirty-Four.
Welp, there we go another chapter with Cersei. This was shorter than I was planning but I think that it turned out alright all things considered. The next chapter I think will be from Elia's POV and the one after that either from Doran's or Ned's. Depending on which I decide will go first.
You may notice that Cersei mentioned a wood witch, no prizes for what that's about but obviously the prophecy she heard was different but I won't go into details about what the prophecy said until Cersei's next chapter which I don't think will be for a while.
If you could please leave a review then I would love that, favourite and follow as well if you don't mind.
Love,
Doctorwhofan12345