Renovations
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Five Years Following Season 5
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Sasha Cooper lifted her cup of coffee, taking a sip, and giving small thanks for the fact that it was not burned. Kara Foster Green might be good at many things, but cooking was not one of them. On the other hand, logistics were right up her alley, explaining why Sasha was making her annual pitch in an attempt to convince Kara that working for intelligence had more to offer than working for Naval command. "Anyway, you know the drill. You say the word and I'll have your office ready. I'll even get Lillian transferred so that you don't need to change assistants."
"You'll transfer Lillian?" Kara's eyebrows rose and she lifted a cup to her lips, leaning against one of the kitchen counters. "Now that would be interesting to see."
A crash sounded from down the hall, followed by an indistinguishable male voice. "Cra...crabs."
"Crabs?" Azima asked, having chugged her own coffee with no hesitation and started in on the croissants - which Sasha knew were safe, having procured them from the bakery down the street. "I have never heard this expletive before."
"That's because it isn't one," Kara replied. "After the third swearing incident at school, we had a discussion."
Sasha swapped an amused look with Azima. It was always entertaining watching Danny Green, retired USMC and current head of the President's security detail, kowtow to his wife. Not that Sasha blamed him. One thing that you could say about Danny was that he rarely made the same mistake twice and, following the annihilation of Tavo's forces in Columbia, he seemed to have realized that there was no going back if he screwed things up again at home.
"Um..." Maddie Rawlings, the most recent addition to their small group, pointed towards the doorway from her seat at the table. "Your children are naked."
"Is that not normal for American children?" Azima asked innocently, and Sasha kicked her under the table. Maddie and Mike Slattery's relationship had developed slowly, and it was only in the last six months that the pilot had spent much time with them. Having once been the "new kid", Sasha was sympathetic. Azima apparently did not feel the same.
"We're potty training. Seems pointless to add to the laundry intentionally." Kara glanced at the three small faces peeking into the kitchen. "What do you want?"
"Stevie peed in the potty," ten-year-old Frankie announced. "That means we get M&Ms."
Kara waved towards the cabinet. "Three each. No more."
"Shouldn't you boys already know how to use the toilet?" Sasha teased, glancing at Frankie and four-year-old Mark, otherwise known as Danny and Kara's make-up baby.
"I do," Mark announced, chest puffing up. "We're training Stevie."
All faces turned towards the naked two-year-old, who was currently stuffing the candies into his mouth. Sasha wondered if hand-washing was part of the Green children's toilet routine. She decided not to ask, focusing on Mark. "You are?"
"Yup," Mark's head bobbed up and down. "Once we train Stevie, then we're getting a puppy. Mommy said we can't have a puppy peeing on the floor when we have a baby peeing on the floor."
"Only if you do a good job," Kara interjected. "Which means Stevie needs underwear. Now."
The boys dashed off and Sasha turned back to Kara, lowering her voice. "I thought Danny already picked a puppy out?"
Having lost Halsey two years back, Danny had steadfastly refused to accept a replacement until recently. His children apparently succeeding where his superiors could not. Kara nodded. "He did. A lab-shepherd mix. She should be ready to take home in a month. Which gives me just enough time to leverage it."
Azima raised her coffee cup in a salute just as the kitchen door opened to reveal Erik and Courtney and Beatrice, their three-year-old daughter, Rick's hands full of what appeared to be french toast casserole. Sasha's mouth began watering. She should have known that, even at forty-two weeks pregnant, Courtney would manage to put them all to shame, her traditional southern upbringing dictating that showing up without a home-cooked dish was completely unacceptable.
"Sorry we're late," Courtney began as Kara quickly pulled out a chair and poured a cup of ice water without waiting to be asked. Courtney immediately swallowed half of it. "If this child doesn't come out soon, I'm going to lose my mind. I'm out of breath just walking from the car."
"It's the heat," Kara replied, sympathetically. She turned to the little girl standing next to her father. "The boys are watching Toy Story if you want to join them."
Trish's face lit up and she darted down the hall. Rick made to follow, presumably to go find the guys, when a burst of laughter attracted all of their attention. Even Courtney rose, waddling slowly after them. Sasha reached the door first, sweeping back the plastic curtain that Kara had tacked up to stop the dust from getting into the rest of the house. Tom, Mike, Wolf and Danny were all standing around a small box. Behind them the wall was open to the backyard, the men having apparently been successful in their attempts to open it enough to add french doors from Danny and Kara's bedroom, which would eventually lead to a patio and, according to Danny, a pool. Kara continued to waffle on the pool idea, apparently knowing her offspring well enough to suspect that a pool would be a double-edged sword.
Sasha ducked into the room just as Wolf smacked Danny on the back. "Well, now we understand the problem, Green. You see you put the thing on your..." Wolf paused, apparently checking for small ears.
Mike had no such problem. "Dick, Green. You put them on your dick, not in the damn wall."
"What?" Sasha moved closer, shocked to see a grimy box filled with Trojan condoms. Leaning closer she snorted. "Does that say made in 1981?"
"Were you even born then?" Mike demanded, sighing loudly when Danny shook his head in the negative. "Babies. All of you."
Danny leaned closer. "Wait. Those things only cost twenty cents each. Lucky bastards."
"Again, Green, we are not interested in your birth control," Mike replied, adding under his breath. "Or lack thereof."
"Probably not a good plan to actually use them," Sasha added, with a smirk towards her husband, who wiggled his eyebrows at her in return.
"We could blow them up for the kids," Wolf began, only to be stopped by a round of protests. Even Azima was shaking her head and Courtney looked horrified ... as well as slightly amused. Perhaps they were beginning to rub off on her, poor girl.
"Who puts a box of condoms in a wall?" Maddie was the one to ask the obvious question.
Azima rolled her eyes. "Americans."
Kara shrugged, a smile darted across her face as she glanced at her husband. "I guess you never do know what you are going to find when you decide to renovate."
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A/N - so, this actually happened (well, the condom thing, not the rest) to my cousin. And shout-out to Tea-Induced Scribbles for inspiring the "balloon" comment with her story Babysitting Frankie (chapter 2 - chapter 1 is good too but chapter 2 is the bomb).