Chapter 8: Right Here

"I'll be right here now / To hold you when the sky falls down / I will always / Be the one who took your place / When the rain falls

I won't let go / I'll be right here / When daybreak seems so far away / Reach for my hand / When hope and peace begin to fray /

Still I will stand"

'Right Here' by Ashes Remain

A/N: I always consider Right Here by Ashes Remain to be a song for one of my OT3s, but I absolutely adore it in general. Has such a nice message. Enjoy the next update.

When Addison finally reached Meredith, the blonde was leaning against the railing of the beach house. She made her way up the steps to meet her, a soft smile on her lips, one that Meredith easily returned. There was a part of her that hated this part of her dream. She hated having Meredith so close to her, knowing that when she woke up, she'd be alone. But she loved it all the same. Because having her in her dreams was better than not seeing her at all. The silence was comfortable, relaxing, and as she stared out at the ocean, she found herself speaking without even meaning to.

"When I got with Jake, I wanted him to be my forever. My person," She smiled slightly. She didn't need to look to know that Meredith was watching her. She didn't turn to face her, "I loved him. And he loved me. But that love wasn't enough. After a while, I realized that it was pointless trying to love him when I knew he wasn't," She shrugged. Derek's words came back to her, "He wasn't who I was in love with," She turned to face Meredith then, smiling slightly, "You. I'm terrified to lose you, Meredith, terrified to love you. I am terrified that I'm going to wake up and get the phone call that you died. And I – I don't think I'll be able to survive without you. Not when I've accepted that I'm in love with you.."

She reached out, cupping Meredith's cheek, and Meredith turned into the touch, nuzzling into her hand ever-so-slightly, her voice low as she hummed out her name, "Addison."

"Meredith," She replied just as softly.

"I think there was a part of me that has always been in love with you," Meredith looked at her through the veil of hair that fell in front of her eyes, "I think that I was just scared. Scared that loving you would end in some kind of tragedy. That's how my life goes, you know?"

And she knew that. She'd witnessed a lot of it herself.

"Yeah, I know," She replied, "You and I, we're messy. But I would choose you, if I could."

Teddy let out a sigh of relief as she took Meredith's latest stats. They were good. Better than good. Her stats were good enough that she could be taken off the vent. She knew that Meredith had hated the idea of the ventilator, but she couldn't allow her not to have the chance of survival. Of course, even on ventilators, the odds of people coming off of them was extremely slim.

She paged Richard and Bailey, turning to look at the comatose woman. She was getting Meredith Grey off the vent today, and they would take whatever else happened one day at a time.

Richard frowned as he observed Amelia where she sat on the bed. He didn't like the empty look in her eyes. In fact, he hated it. He wasn't sure if he could help her, but when Lexie had asked him, he'd agreed to come over. Now, he was worried that he couldn't do anything.

"I don't think I've ever wanted to use as much as I do right now."

He didn't realize that Amelia had noticed him come in, but she was looking at him, her eyes looking so haunted.

"That's understandable," he replied, sitting at the edge of the bed, "It's a lot of stress. We can't have a glass of wine after a stressful day."

"When Derek died, I had Addie to lean on. She was there for me. She was there for everyone. Mark and Lexie and Mer. And I need her right now. If I lose Meredith, I don't know if I'll be able to handle that," She let out a soft laugh, but the smile that accompanied it was hollow, "I guess neither can Addie. It's my fault that she's disappeared, you know? I was keeping her updated and I told her that Meredith was sliding backwards."

"You didn't tell her to disappear," He countered.

"Oh, come on, Richard. If I didn't say anything…"

"Then someone else would've," He interrupted, "This isn't on you," He patted her leg gently, "It will get better. Meredith will wake up. Addison will come back."

"You don't know that."

He smiled softly, "I have a bit of faith left in me. That's all we can do now. Have a bit of faith."

He made his way down the stairs, meeting Mark in the kitchen.

"Anything?" Mark asked.

"I did my best, Sloan," He shrugged slightly. His pager went off and he pulled it out.

"Everything okay?"

"It's Altman. I've gotta get back to the hospital. Is there anyone else that can help Shepherd? Anyone you can think of?"

"Yeah," Mark confirmed, "I know someone."

Amelia was startled from her thoughts as her phone started ringing. She grabbed it, hoping it was Addie but refused to get her hopes up. Instead, Charlotte's name was lit up on the screen, requesting a FaceTime call. She frowned. Maybe Charlotte had heard from Addie. She accepted the call.

"Charlotte?" she asked when the blonde appeared on the screen.

"You look like shit, Amelia."

She tried not to roll her eyes, "I love you too, Char."

"As you should. Sloan called," This time she did roll her eyes, "Everyone is worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"You're sitting in your bedroom, in the dark. Are you sober?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to be?"

She couldn't help the way she hesitated, "If it was your sister, would you?"

"No," Charlotte answered immediately.

"If you just called to check in, I'm fine."

"I heard that Meredith says that a lot," At her look of confusion, Charlotte smiled slightly, "Montgomery talks about her too much, " She was sure that was the understatement of the year. Charlotte continued before she could say anything, ""I figured we could have a meeting."

"Now?"

"Just us," Charlotte confirmed with a smile and a nod, "That sound okay?"

She felt the tension in her chest slowly start to loosen, "Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great."

Charlotte smiled as she watched the tension Amelia was feeling slowly start to fade. The worry in her eyes slowly dissipated. The smile she wore looked so much more genuine. It made her wish she was in Seattle, just so she could pull the woman into the hug she so desperately was craving. And not for the first time in the last hour did she wish Addison had never vanished in the first place. Honestly, what the woman was thinking she had no idea. All she did know was that Addison was causing Amelia a whole lot more hurt than what she needed, especially right now.

They'd moved on from the meeting and were discussing kids and family in general. It was a nice change of pace, and she figured that she could tell her the one thing that she could about the neonatal surgeon. She waited for a lull in the conversation.

"She texted me today."

Amelia frowned, but she could see the subtle shift in her posture, "Did she say where she was?"

"No. I didn't even get a chance to write a return message because she turned her data back off after she sent it."

"What did she tell you?"

"She said she was fine and to stop with the constant calling and texting."

"That means she's alive."

Charlotte nodded slowly, smiling at the brunette, "Yeah. It does."

"When she comes back from wherever she is, I'm gonna kick her ass."

She grinned, "Oh, take a number, Shepherd."

Derek watched the two women from where he stood on the beach. It was good that they were talking. He meant what he'd told Addison. He loved Meredith, but she couldn't choose him and he didn't want her to. She deserved to live. She had to. He watched her smile, warm and open and happy. He smiled at the sight. That was what he wanted for her. To be happy. She deserved to move on.

He turned and walked down the beach, fading away.

"You and I, we're messy. But I would choose you, if I could."

Meredith smiled at Addison's confession. They were messy. They were two women who had met under the most absurd circumstances, but she wouldn't change it for the world. Meeting Addison changed her life.

"I'd choose you," Meredith reached out and hesitantly touched Addie's face, mirroring her. It felt nice to experience physical touch, the skin warm under her fingers, "If I had the chance, I'd choose you."

Addison took a breath, her eyes holding so much hope and turmoil, and she wanted to make the worry she felt disappear.

"I want you to wake up, Meredith. I want you to go home and hug your kids. I want you to get better. You're worrying everyone."

She smiled, "Yeah, I've heard that a million times already."

She took a hesitant step forward and leaned in. Addison took a shuddering breath, their eyes meeting with an electric charge that she could feel all over. She wanted to kiss her. But neither made the last step forward. Miniscule. Less than a breath away. But she held herself back. She didn't want their first kiss to be in her Covid dream.

"Meredith," Her eyes flickered up to Addison's. She wanted to drown in her eyes, "Wake up for me."

Miranda sat in Grey's room, watching her sleep. It had been close to an hour that Altman had removed her ventilator, and so far there had been no change. She didn't expect immediate results, but the waiting was exhausting. The entire pandemic was exhausting.

"Come on, Grey. You need to fight this thing. No more ventilator, just the way you wanted it. So stop being stubborn and wake up."

She sat in the chair, annoyed with herself for the outburst. She wouldn't wake up just because she'd asked her to. That would be so very ridiculous. She stood, trying to resist the urge to pace. Pacing would do nothing. But she couldn't help but be worried.

A low humming pulled her from her thoughts, and her head snapped to the bed, "Grey, is that you?"

The blonde's words were slurred ever so slightly, but as she stepped closer to the bed, she could finally hear what the blonde was mumbling as she opened her eyes, the blue-grey hazy and unfocused.

"Add'son."

A/N: I finally woke Meredith up. Again. Yay! And wanting Addison too. Thanks for waiting for the update. More to come whenever my brain wants to get off its NCIS train and focus back on doctors xD