Saturday morning at 11:30 am, Arizona took another walkthrough of her house to make sure everything was clean and dusted and in it's place. She knew she was just trying to burn off the nervous energy and her house was fine, but she had to do something or she would find a reason to back out of her conversation with Callie. Looking around her new home, a place where there were no memories of her former life other than the ones she chose to bring with her, she wondered why she decided to have this conversation here. This was her sanctuary, her safe place, no arguments or screaming matches have been held within these walls, yet she knew there was a very real possibility that would change today and vowed to try to keep herself calm and levelheaded. She'd learned a great deal about herself over the past two years, faced some hard truths, and tackled a few demons. She knew she still had a long way to go, but she trusted that she would get there. She also recognized the fact that in order to do that, she needed to get a few answers of her own from her ex-wife and after their blow-up in the hospital, she had even more questions.

Seeing she still had at least a good thirty minutes left before Callie showed up, Arizona tried to think of something else to keep her busy and wondered if she should make something for lunch since it might break the ice a little. When she went to her refrigerator to look for something quick to put together, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and pulled it out to see that she had a message from Callie. She was almost certain she would be making some excuse about why she couldn't make it and her stomach dropped just a little at the thought. For all the nervousness and second thoughts she was having, she knew they needed to at least try to communicate better if for no other reason than the fact that Sofia deserved that much. Taking a deep breath, she opened the message and chuckled to herself when she read Callie's words.

Callie: Hey I'm about to drop Sofia off and wanted to make sure we were still on for today. I was wondering if it would be okay to stop and pick up something for lunch, I'm starving.

Callie nervously bit her lip waiting for her ex-wife's reply as she watched the little bubble with three tiny dots appear on her screen. She wondered if Arizona was going to read her text and see it as a way to get out of their meeting or conversation, or whatever it was. Though she was nervous as hell, she realized that she would actually be disappointed if this fell through. She wanted, no needed, to start making things right in her life and part of her felt she couldn't do that without at least trying to form a better relationship with her ex-wife, if not for their sakes, then for Sofia's. She held her breath when the message finally came through, sighed in relief at the response and couldn't help but smile, even though she knew today would be anything but easy.

Arizona: Your message came at the perfect time, I was just trying to find something quick to make us for lunch, but your idea sounds much better. Tell Sof I love her please. See you soon.

Callie almost dropped her phone when the door swung open and Meredith greeted, "Well I haven't seen that smile in a while." Meredith lifted her arm so Sofia could run into the house, arched her brow and gasped, "Oh my God, are you already dating again?" Callie fumbled with her phone, shoved it in her pocket and stammered, "Uh, no, no, that was um…I just got some good news I'd been waiting on." The general surgeon narrowed her eyes at the brunette, seeing right through her lie and asked, "Did you want to stick around for lunch? Maggie just brought home pizza." Callie shook her head and tried to think of an excuse as to why she couldn't stay. Its not like it was a big deal that she and Arizona were meeting to try to talk things through, but for some reason, she just felt the need to keep it quiet and not have everyone involved. Taking a deep breath, she replied, "I uh, I could actually just use some time to clear my head, ya know, like we talked about yesterday and figured I'd go for a drive or something while you had Sof." Meredith wasn't quite sure if she believed the other woman or not, but decided she'd give her the benefit of the doubt because she really wanted to see Callie happy and figure things out for herself. Hopefully she would eventually realize what the rest of them already knew. Nodding her head, she warned, "I can't promise you there will be leftovers when you pick her up." Callie laughed and responded, "Thanks, maybe next time." Meredith nodded and offered, "I really hope you find the answers you're looking for." Callie smiled and said, "Thanks, me too."

Looking into the house, Callie called out, "Mama's leaving Sof, come give me a hug." Sofia ran into her mama's arms and giggled when she picked her up and kissed her all over her face. Kicking her legs she called out, "Stop, stop, that tickles." Callie pulled her head back, looked her daughter in the eyes and proclaimed, "But I'm going to miss you so much." Sofia grabbed her cheeks, squished them together and pulled her closer, saying, "Fishy kissy," and both Latina's puckered their lips and gave each other a smacking kiss. When Callie put her back down, she whispered in her ear, "Mommy just texted me and asked me to tell you she loves you." She watched as her daughter's eyes lit up at the mention of her other mother and briefly wondered if she does the same thing when her name is mentioned. Shaking the odd thought out of her head, she sent Sofia back into the house and hollered out, "Just give me a call when you are ready for me to pick her up." She heard a muffled response from the back of the house then shut the door and went to her car and called in her order for lunch.

XXXX

Unsure what Callie was bringing for lunch, Arizona took down two plates and pulled out some silverware just in case. She decided to make a fresh pot of coffee for after lunch, though she was certain that by the time they were done, they would both need a stiff drink. As soon as she pushed the button for the coffee pot, she heard the doorbell ring, looked down at her outfit which consisted of a pair of jeans and royal blue V-neck sweater, took a deep breath, nodded her head in determination, then went to answer the door. As she walked through the living room, she could see Callie through the window and smiled when she noticed she was doing her pee dance and felt oddly relieved that she wasn't the only one who was nervous.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and gasped, instantly recognizing the bag Callie was holding. Without even greeting the other woman, she asked, "Oh my God, is that Jade Garden?" Callie couldn't help but smile at Arizona's excitement and felt a weird tingle in her stomach when she saw how happy it made her. Holding up the bag, she replied, "Only the best in Seattle." Arizona did a happy little clap and gushed, "Thank you! I can't remember the last time I ordered from there." She could though, she knew exactly when she ate there last. She and Callie had decided to stop there for dinner before their first session with Dr. Dawson and she couldn't bring herself to go back since then. Callie followed her ex-wife through the house and replied, "I figured since I was so close, I just couldn't resist. I know it's your favorite." Arizona was happy her back was turned so Callie couldn't see how pleased she was that she thought of her.

Once they reached the open kitchen and dining area, she explained, "I wasn't sure what you were bringing so I took down some plates and silverware and set them on the counter." Callie put the bag down on the table, grabbed the plates and forks and started unpacking the food while Arizona went to the refrigerator and asked, "So milk or juice?" Callie furrowed her brow and asked, "What?" Arizona popped her head out of the door, looked at her ex-wife and answered, "You got Chinese food so do you want milk or juice?" Callie asked, "How do you know I don't want something else?" Arizona replied, "Because you drink milk or juice with Chinese…or wine, but it's just past noon, so no wine. You drink milk or wine with Italian, except pizza, then you drink beer or pop, which you also drink with burgers." Callie stared at her, blinked a few times and asked, "How do you remember that?" Arizona put her hand on her hip and asked, "Are we seriously having this discussion?" Deciding for herself, she pulled out the gallon of milk, poured a large glass, and carried it to the table. Callie smirked and asked, "What if I wanted juice?" Arizona shrugged and replied, "Too late, drink your milk."

Arizona opened the first container, saw her favorite cashew chicken without the vegetables and squealed, "Ooh you remembered!" Callie poured some beef and broccoli over her rice and muttered, "Says the woman who knows what beverages I drink with each meal. Should we go into your dipping habits?" Arizona opened the next container finding her favorite noodles and replied, "I do not have dipping habits!" Callie moved her food around her plate with her fork, made sure she had a little bit of everything, and shrugged, "Whatever you say," then took her first bite and moaned in satisfaction. Arizona took a bite as well, swallowed, then asked, "Okay Ms. Perfect Bite, what are my dipping habits?" Callie shook her head and asked, "Potato chips or nacho chips? Fries? Chicken strips? Breadsticks? I mean, we could be here all day." Arizona decided to test her ex, not believing she remembered and declared, "Chips." Callie took a drink, set her cup down, nodded her head and replied without needing to even think about it, "Plain chips with ridges – french onion; without ridges – sour cream and onion because it's thinner and the chips don't break. Flavored chips don't need dip. Corn tortilla chips – salsa or guacamole, flour chips – queso or hummus, flavored tortilla chips are unnatural and under no uncertain terms will you ever be caught eating a Dorito or Cheeto because you refuse to lick cheese powder off your fingers, which is odd because you have no problem licking the glaze from a donut off your fingers." Callie smiled at her ex, took a bite of her food and sat up a little straighter, proud of herself for remembering all of that.

Arizona was quite impressed, she thought for sure Callie wouldn't know, was at a loss for words so she just took another bite of her food. Callie narrowed her eyes and accused, "You didn't think I'd remember." Arizona shrugged and replied, "It's been a long time." Callie pointed her fork at her and reminded her, "You remembered…about my drinks." Arizona nodded and replied, "That's different." Callie tilted her head and asked, "How?" Arizona shrugged, she didn't want to say it was because she thought it didn't matter to her anymore, but that's exactly what flew out of her mouth, "I just…it's trivial information that you'll probably never use again, so I just thought…" Callie felt the heaviness start to move in like a black cloud;. a reminder of why they were here in the first place. She was enjoying their banter so much that it made this uncomfortable situation feel even heavier now. Tilting her head, Callie started, "It's not trivial, those things. They are the important things that got lost in all the other stuff." Surprised by her answer, Arizona nodded and agreed, "A lot of things got lost in all the other stuff."

Both women ate in silence for a few minutes thinking about how good it felt to just be able to be playful with one another again. It served as a reminder of not only how well they knew each other, but how much fun they could have together when they weren't mired down by all the crap. Before things could get too uncomfortable, Callie admitted, "I um, I really don't even know where to start." Arizona snorted and replied, "It's kind of like cleaning up after a hurricane. I guess we just pick a place. I mean, we know our goal is to avoid this type of situation right?" Callie tilted her head and asked, "Eating lunch together?" Arizona shook her head and replied, "Eating lunch together, having a nice conversation, then…then something comes up and reminds us…" Callie nodded and finished, "Reminds us why we don't eat lunch together anymore." Arizona nodded and answered, "Yeah." Callie took a deep breath and said, "That's why…well that and the things we said that day, I just, I thought maybe we were ready to talk about things." Arizona took another bite of her food and nodded in agreement.

Callie studied her ex-wife for a moment, a few minutes ago they had no problem making eye contact, but now they only looked up when they knew the other wasn't looking. She may remember her favorite meal and her quirky habits, but she was struggling to read her expression and without looking into those eyes, she couldn't tell how the other woman was feeling. Taking a deep breath, she added, "You ah, you said you'd think about it, then yesterday…what made you change your mind Arizona?" Putting her fork down, Arizona finally looked up and Callie could see a myriad of emotions swirling in azure blue eyes and still couldn't discern one from the other. She knew she saw pain, regret, and concern, the emotion that overpowered them all though, the one that killed her because she knew she was the cause of it, was fear. Arizona knew Callie was trying to figure out what she was thinking and was struggling between opening herself up and letting her ex-wife see her true feelings or shutting herself down like she was prone to do in these types of situations.

Finally deciding, she asked, "Honestly?" Callie responded, "Yes please. I think that's the only way we can try to get to a point where being alone together in the same room isn't so uncomfortable. I think…I think we were too afraid to be honest before." Surprised by the analysis, Arizona nodded and admitted, "I agreed it was time to talk because you said you still felt like the same person you were two years ago, that you didn't find yourself like you said you wanted to do." Callie's nostrils flared and her voice had a bite to it when she asked, "So what, you invited me over to rub it in my face?" Arizona held up her finger and snapped, "Oh no, see this is what we are not going to do. We are not going to assume we know what the other is thinking and jump to conclusions and we are not going to cut each other off. We will ask questions to clarify and we will wait until the other person has finished a complete thought."

Callie took a deep breath to try to calm herself down. She had no idea why that even made her angry in the first place. Before she could say anything, Arizona looked at her and in a much softer tone, declared, "You need to stop thinking the worst of me Callie. That accusation was out of nowhere and is something I have never done to you unless we were being playful." Callie nodded, she knew her ex-wife was right on both counts, closed her eyes briefly, then replied in a much softer tone, "No, you're right and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for snapping at you and for what I said. Can you explain what you mean please?" Arizona nodded and replied, "I'm sorry that my words were misleading. What I meant was, I already knew these things Callie, I could tell by looking at you, I could tell by the questions you asked the other day that finding yourself, finding your happiness wasn't coming easily to you. I just didn't know if you did and until I saw that you did, that you recognized it, I didn't feel like we would get anywhere. I didn't invite you over to rub your face in anything, I invited you over because you asked to clear the air and I hoped maybe if we talked about some things, it would help you, I don't know, find what you're looking for." Callie tried to take in everything Arizona just said. She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was just something different about her, she seemed calmer, more peaceful, more in control of her emotions.

Callie swallowed thickly and asked, "Can we, um, should we start with our last conversation?" Arizona nodded, she had some questions and still wasn't sure she wanted to know the answers no matter what they were. Needing something to do, Callie stood up and took the dishes to the sink and rinsed them off when she was caught off guard by Arizona asking, "Why were you so upset when you thought I didn't care?" Callie put her head down and replied, "I didn't realize I was until you said you were fine with Penny meeting Sofia and then to hear you…you've never…" She turned, looked at Arizona and admitted, "Hearing you call someone else my girlfriend was just as jarring to me as hearing 'I love you' come out of someone else's mouth." That admission had Arizona reeling and she was glad she was sitting down. What she wasn't happy about was the fact that her heartrate sped up just a little bit, out of fear, out of hope, she wasn't sure. Tilting her head she asked, "Why did you break up with Penny?"

Callie turned around, started to cross her arms, remembered that it might make her appear to be closed off, so she gripped the counter on either side of her and tried to think about how to answer that question without saying too much, without revealing things she was certain her ex-wife wasn't ready to hear and positive she wasn't ready to say. Arizona could see Callie was struggling for an answer and though she was tempted to give her an out, she felt like she had to know, part of her wondered if her ex-wife still cared for her, yes, but another part of her needed to know she really wanted to find herself, figure out who she was as an individual. Callie exhaled loudly and revealed, "I told you part of it already." Arizona tilted her head and furrowed her brows in confusion as she tried to recall that conversation. All she had been able to focus on was the fact she lost control of emotions she'd buried for so long that she still regretted ever seeking out her ex-wife in the first place.

Unsure if Arizona was trying to make this harder on her or really didn't know what she was referring to, Callie explained, "Uh…that she told me, um what she said the night before." She wasn't sure why she felt a sharp stabbing in her heart nor why it felt as though it skipped a beat when she saw a flash of pain in Arizona's eyes when she was reminded of that part of their conversation in the x-ray room. Arizona tried to keep her breathing even, but just the thought of someone else loving Callie hurt. She nodded for her ex to continue, too afraid to say anything for fear that her voice would quiver. Callie bit her bottom lip then added, "I just, the whole day didn't sit right with me. I had that in the back of my mind, then when Sofia was brought in and whoever it was that decided to bring Penny into the picture without paging one of us, then Penny deciding not to page one of us…I just, when I got there and saw them interacting with each other…it made me feel like something was wrong." Arizona sat back in her chair, surprised to learn that Callie was feeling the exact same way she was when she arrived in the pit and saw Callie and her girlfriend standing by her daughter's bedside.

Trying to keep her voice level and unaccusatory, she asked, "So, I'm still wondering why you brought me into it. Why not just…I don't know, tell her the truth?" Callie pushed off from the counter, started pacing and replied, "At first I…" She stopped and shook her head, she never really tried to say anything. She didn't want her girlfriend to know she was already having doubts before her daughter even got hurt. She ran her hands through her hair, let out a sigh, and revealed, "Because I panicked. It was all happening so fast, everything was happening so fast, the profession of love and wanting to meet our daughter and I hadn't even…Sofia didn't even know about her yet. Then there was you." Arizona furrowed her brow and interjected, "Callie, I told you, I was fine with it." Callie shook her head and started pacing again, she didn't know why that bothered her so much and her frustration came out in her tone as she explained, "Despite what you believe about me, how impulsive I am, how quickly I fall in love, or whatever, Sofia is your daughter too and before I made the decision to bring someone else into her life, I would talk to you about it."

Arizona's nostrils flared at the insinuation and she cut in, "How would you know what I believe about you Callie? We haven't had a real conversation in two years. I haven't spoken to anyone about you in two years. Those things were said before our child was even born. This has always been one of our problems. I am capable of change Callie and not just for the worse. But words I said out of hurt or anger during arguments from years ago are still thrown in my face. Things I felt in my late twenties about having a family, after my daughter, whom I love more than anyone in this world, is born were still thrown in my face. I don't know if you're impulsive anymore. I don't know how quickly you fall in love. I don't know you anymore Callie. I know nothing about you and you know nothing about me. The only thing I am certain about is how quickly you fall out of love."

Callie spun around and asked, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Arizona snorted, stood up from her chair and started pacing the room, unable to sit still any longer. Before she knew what was happening, her mouth opened and she revealed, "It means it doesn't even take you thirty days to fall out of love. Thirty days is all it takes for you to let go of six years of our lives together." Callie was flabbergasted and accused, "You were the one who wanted a break!" Arizona got in her face and replied, "I wanted a break from this. I wanted the yelling and the snarky comments, and the angry looks to stop. I wanted us to step back, go to our corners and think about shit without adding more shit to it. I didn't want a fucking divorce!"

Callie's head snapped up at the force of Arizona's words and opened her mouth to argue when she realized her ex-wife wasn't finished. Arizona turned and proclaimed, "I spent that thirty days struggling without being able to talk to my wife at home, then I went to work and took hit after hit from Nicole while still trying to do my own job and all I wanted to do was talk to you about it but I couldn't because I was TRYING to fix our marriage. I couldn't because I knew you blamed the fellowship for me not wanting to have another baby right away. I couldn't because when I wasn't at work or taking care of Sofia, I was thinking and analyzing and coming to terms with everything I did that fucked us up in the first place." Arizona continued pacing and just felt everything bubbling to the surface, everything she held in for two years.

She turned and looked at Callie who could do nothing but stare at her and asked, "Do you want to know why I didn't come after you? Do you want to know why I didn't fight for you when you walked away?" Callie nodded her head but she really wasn't sure at this point if she did or not. Arizona explained, "I spent that thirty days thinking of all the ways we could make things right again and I thought you were doing the same. The night before our last appointment, you put your hands on me and I couldn't wait any longer. We made love all night Callie. I felt more connected to you in that one night than I had in years. We kept telling each other how much we loved each other, you told me over and over you loved me. When I woke up in your arms, I knew we were going to make it. I knew we would be okay. When we got to Dr. Dawson's office and I told you everything I felt and you were crying too, I was certain we were starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But you opened your beautiful mouth and you told me you felt stuck, I suffocated you, you wanted more for me than to be with someone who felt stuck and you wanted me to be happy and you wanted to be happy. I found out that while I was trying to save our marriage you had never felt more free, you'd laughed more, worked harder, and done more in the last 30 days than you had with me."

Both women stood with tears streaming down their faces remembering that day as if it just happened. Callie stared at her ex-wife still not knowing what to say. Arizona took a deep breath and finished, "I didn't follow you, I let you go because I was broken Callie. I was destroyed, devastated, and humiliated. I thought we were reuniting, I thought we were making love and coming back together and you knew you were saying goodbye. You knew you were going to walk into that therapist's office the next day and end our marriage." Callie finally interjected, "That's not what…" Arizona closed her eyes and sighed. She looked at Callie and pleaded, "Please don't tell me that's not what you were doing because the alternative would be that you made a spur of the moment decision to end our marriage when you walked into therapy and I think that would hurt even worse." Callie snapped her mouth shut. That was exactly what she was going to say, but she knew on some level that she was saying goodbye, that she had decided they no longer worked together. The thing she wanted to say and couldn't was that she never fell out of love with her wife. Not in those thirty days and not in the last two years.

Callie watched as Arizona walked into the living room, went to the coatrack, pulled that familiar white box from her coat pocket then returned to the dining room. Her heart sank when she realized what might be in that box. Arizona ripped the tape off the box, opened it up and pulled out an ornate white gold ring with a large square cut diamond in the center. It was exquisite in its simplicity. She held it up and claimed, "You were right, this was my grandmother's. Once we figured everything out, I was going to ask you to marry me again. To start fresh. But you were also wrong, I didn't forget it. I just couldn't bare bringing it with me. I couldn't look at it and think about how fucking stupid and wrong I was. So no, I didn't follow you, I didn't beg for you to stay because I didn't want to suffocate you and I didn't want you to feel stuck anymore." She put the ring in her pocket, tossed the box on the table, walked over to Callie, took her hand and softly declared, "I still don't Callie, I still don't want you to feel stuck. What I do want, what I think you owe both of us, is to stop running and do what you said you were going to do when you left and that is to be free, to find out who you are…who you are without me and who you are as an individual. I broke that part of you and if I could heal it, if I could fix it, I would trade my life to do so, but I can't. When you feel strong, confident, and capable, that's when you're at your best. You aren't the only one who misses the badass Callie Torres and our daughter deserves to know that side of her mother."

Arizona dropped Callie's hand, crossed the room, sat back down and waited for the backlash. She knew this was where the cheating and the intern and the fellowship were all going to be thrown at her and part of her just wanted it all to be put out there again because then she could put her walls back up and protect herself. Right now, she just felt raw and exposed.

Callie stood propped against the counter stunned at the turn of events. She had no idea how the conversation took this turn. Her stomach was churning with guilt, with pain, with anger, with so many emotions she didn't know what to do with. There was a very large part of her that wanted to fight back, that wanted to remind her ex-wife of how they became so broken in the first place, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't know if it was because something Arizona said that was resonating within her subconscious or if she just didn't have any fight left. Looking across the room at her ex-wife though, she realized the reason she couldn't fight back was because everything she said was true. It was Arizona's truth and in two years, she never stopped to think about the other woman's point of view…about anything. She knew it now though and seeing the defeated look in those expressive blue eyes and the lithe body coiled with tension preparing to be attacked, she couldn't bring herself to say anything at all. Pushing herself off the counter, she walked out of the house, got into her car, and made it to the stop sign before she broke down in tears with the vision of haunted blue eyes and that damn engagement ring flooding her mind.

A/N: Thank you all for the excellent reviews. I'm so happy you like this story. My apologies for the long wait. I'm still working out the way I want this story to go. It will eventually be Calzona, of course, but it's going to take them a while to get there.