Arizona sat at her dining room table staring at the empty spot at the counter her ex-wife just vacated. She drew her right leg up, rested her forehead on her knee, and closed her eyes to fight back the tears when she heard her front door open and close then heard a car start and the sound of the engine seemed to disappear as her sobs grew louder. She expected Callie to lash out, to fight back, to bring up all of her old transgressions, what she didn't expect was for the other woman to walk away without a word. She shouldn't have been surprised though. That seemed to be Callie's new way of dealing with things, something she was sure her ex learned from her, to walk away when things became too difficult to deal with. She also didn't expect the pain that came with the closing of the door, she could have still been sitting in that therapist's office two years ago since the pain felt just as fresh and she felt just as vulnerable as she did that day. She poured her heart out and for the second time Callie walked away as if her words meant nothing.

That thought filled the blonde with a surge of anger and she lifted her head, grabbed the closest thing to her, which was the empty water glass sitting on the table, and flung it across the room screaming, "FUUUUUCK!" She felt the mildest bit of satisfaction as she watched the glass shatter into a million tiny pieces against the wall and realized that it seemed to be a literal representation of how her heart felt in that moment. She stood up, stared at the tiny shards of glass, briefly thought about picking up the pieces like she had done with her heart so many times before, decided to leave it for now, walked over to the sofa, lie down on her side, clutched at the throw pillow and gave into the agony and allowed herself to let go as sobs wracked her body and cries of her visceral pain left her mouth.

XXXX

Callie still sat at the stop sign just a few houses down from the one she just walked out of, unable to see for the tears clouding her eyes, unable to breathe for the pain clutching at her heart, unable to think for the thoughts and images swirling in her brain. She slammed her fist on the dashboard and screamed, "SHIIIIITTT!" then dropped her head none too gently on the steering wheel. She walked away…again. Arizona opened her heart to her, which was extremely rare, but to do so after two years of barely speaking, was unthinkable and she just fucking left. Where the hell was her brain? Where was her heart? She closed her eyes and could only hear her ex-wife's soft tone echoing over and over in her mind, what I think you owe both of us is to stop running…stop running…stop running. Callie knew that was exactly what she just did. She ran from the fight; ran from the pain she caused Arizona and ran from the pain her ex-wife's words caused her. She'd been running for years. If she ever wanted to make things right, for her, for Arizona, for Sofia, she had to stop running.

With a newfound determination, she looked behind her at the house she just left, knew what she had to do, and without even bothering to turn the car around, threw it into reverse and backed her way down the street and pulled into the driveway of her ex-wife's house once again. Taking a deep breath, she got out of the car, slowly walked toward the house and tried to build up the courage to knock on the door. When she lifted her hand, she heard the most horrible howl, a sound that shattered her already broken heart, peeked into the window and saw Arizona lying on the sofa, curled into a ball. She closed her eyes and swallowed the bile rising in her throat as she realized she did that. Everything in her was screaming for her to get back in her car and pretend she didn't just see what she saw, but the words still ringing in her mind were louder, stop running, stop running. Without allowing herself to debate the merits of what she was about to do any longer, Callie reached for the doorknob and entered the house without knocking, knowing full well there was a huge possibility that she would be told to leave.

Slowly and carefully walking into the living room, she approached the sobbing blonde and couldn't keep her own tears from falling as she looked down at the woman who was always so strong, put together, her forces impenetrable, and realized she was probably the only person in the world who could reduce her to this weak and broken person. She understood though, because she had found herself in this same position many a time and knew Arizona was the only one who could break through her defenses so thoroughly. Without thinking about what her actions meant or what consequences they could bring, Callie sat down next to the shattered woman, scooped her into her arms and pulled her onto her lap. Rather than say a word, she allowed her own walls to crumble and broke into sobs as well and could only cry harder when her ex-wife turned into her, rather than away.

Arizona could feel Callie's presence, she always felt it when the other woman was near. She just didn't know why she was back, unless it was to turn the knife just a little more. She internally cringed at the thought of being seen in this state, of letting her ex-wife know she still had the power to break her. She wanted to scream at her to get out, to leave for good this time and stay the fuck away from her. Instead she said nothing and hoped that ignoring her would make her go away on her own. When she felt two strong arms slip underneath her body, lift her up, then settle her on her lap, her heart screamed for her to get up, build the walls back up and fight, but her body betrayed her and she turned her head, buried her face in the warm skin of Callie's neck, felt the body beneath her shudder and realized her ex-wife was crying just as hard as she was. Rather than question it, she reveled in it. Relished in the fact that for once, they were mourning the loss of what they had together in the open instead of individually behind a façade of fake smiles and empty words or worse, harsh criticisms and accusations.

As Callie's own hot tears ran down her face and Arizona's down her neck, she wrapped her right arm around a slender hip and slowly began stroking the strong back, still shaking from the strength of her sobs and closed her eyes as a pale hand tangled in her long black curls and started massaging her scalp. Callie was overwhelmed by the familiarity of holding her ex-wife after so long, the way their bodies still aligned perfectly. She couldn't help but notice as both of their sobs subsided and their breathing became more manageable, they seemed to sync up as they inhaled and exhaled at the same pace almost as if they were one. She wondered what it meant that even after all this time, the person who had caused them the most pain seemed to be the only one who could also bring them peace. Without thinking, she placed a soft kiss on the crown of Arizona's head and couldn't help but inhale the subtle aroma of honey mixed with vanilla along with the scent that was uniquely Arizona and closed her eyes allowing the smells she missed so much to penetrate her senses, for she knew all too soon, reality would come crashing down and she didn't know when she'd have a moment like this again.

Arizona kept her face buried in Callie's neck and felt the moment their breathing became synchronized, could feel from their chests resting against one another that their hearts beat in tandem. She knew she should move; she knew this wasn't right, she was hesitant to do so however, not because she was embarrassed or ashamed her ex found her in this state, but because this is the calmest, the most peaceful she'd felt in years. She closed her eyes and drank in the familiar scent of Japanese cherry blossom combined with the mildly spicy aroma that seemed to be a part of Callie's chemical make-up. When she felt the soft lips touch her head, she wanted to cry again, the sweet tender moment reminding her of everything they lost. Without lifting her head, she murmured into the warm caramel colored skin, "You came back." She felt Callie nod and quietly return, "I shouldn't have left like that. I'm sorry." Finally sitting up, Arizona looked into painfilled dark brown eyes and asked, "Why did you?" Callie furrowed her brow, unsure if her ex was asking why she left or why she returned and knew she owed her an explanation for both.

Arizona could see the war going on in Callie's mind and scooted herself backward to the other end of the sofa to give them both some space, though she immediately missed the contact. The brunette took a deep breath, trying to fight her disappointment that Arizona moved away from her and replied, "I got angry and accused you of thinking I was impulsive and you were right, I don't know what you think about me anymore. I don't know what you think about anything anymore. I was frustrated and projected that onto you because I am that person Arizona. No you haven't said it in years, but it doesn't make it any less true. I'm the same impulsive person I always have been. I'm quick to anger and I lash out when I feel attacked. I put blinders on and keep pushing forward when I don't want to deal with something. I'm clinging to a past that no longer exists, a person who no longer exists, and I…I've been so focused on my hurt, my pain, my feelings…" Starting to get angry with herself, Callie stood up and began pacing the living room and admitted, "When you said what you said the other day, it made me realize how self-involved I've been. I mean how could I not see your pain? How did I not notice it, feel it? Most importantly, how was I so cruel as to not think about your feelings, your reaction when I started dating? But today, when you…I didn't know what to do with that Arizona. I didn't know what to do when I was faced with your reality, your point of view over the break and the end of our marriage. I didn't know what to do with hearing how I made you feel. I couldn't lash out, I couldn't argue, I couldn't push through it, because that was your truth and I realized…I understood in that moment that I've never let you speak your truth before. I always countered it with my own pain or threw something at you to deflect away from that conversation. This time I couldn't, so rather than do anything, I left. I left and I think part of me figured we'd do what we always did and ignore the obvious, avoid the uncomfortable interactions, and pretend it never happened. Part of me thought we'd just push through because that's who I am. I'm still stuck Arizona, I still feel suffocated, I left to be free and I feel imprisoned by the same damn patterns I've always followed." Callie turned to face Arizona and was surprised to see the look of pure shock written all over her face.

Arizona sat on the couch and sucked in a deep breath when Callie started to talk. She had no idea what was going to come out of that mouth of hers. They'd had an emotional day and she knew when Callie felt emotional, when she felt defensive, she fired back. So she waited, she sat quietly and waited for the onslaught to begin, the list of her own indiscretions, or maybe the fact that her feelings were irrelevant now after so much time had passed. She heard none of that though. Not a single accusation was directed toward her. For the first time since she could remember, Callie stood in front of her and admitted her own guilt, her own shortcomings, her own inability to process and her tendency to just keep pushing through, right down to what she thought would happen after she left like she did today. What shocked her the most was her ex-wife's admission that she still felt the same way, she still felt stuck and suffocated and while those words still hurt, cut her to the core actually, she understood now, though she may have contributed to those feelings, it wasn't all her doing and she released the breath she had been holding and with it, two years of pain and guilt began to release itself from her heart. She still held her fair share and hated that she felt relief from the other woman's obvious grief, but she felt just the tiniest bit less culpable.

Realizing Callie was waiting for a response, a reaction of some sort, Arizona cleared the lump from her throat and asked, "Why, um why did you come back?" Callie sighed, moved back to the sofa, making sure to keep a cushion of distance between them, though she did rest her hand in the empty space and in a calm, low tone, admitted, "Because I couldn't get your words out of my head and I realize it's almost the same thing Mer said to me the other day, but you put it a little more…um eloquently." Arizona tilted her head, arched her brow in question, and Callie explained, "I owe it to you, to me, and especially to Sofia to stop running. You no sooner said it and I turned around and did the opposite. In the first real conversation since before our divorce, before therapy, you spilled your heart out to me Arizona, something that doesn't come easy to you, and instead of facing your pain or mine, I ran. I got to the stop sign and I just kept hearing your voice telling me to stop running. So I came back. I came back and I found you broken and it broke me and this time instead of running or fighting, I just…we needed to have those feelings, to let them out, and to let them out together."

Arizona looked at the hand that sat between them, watched as the fingers curled and uncurled as if they needed to grip onto something, and against her better judgement, slowly slid her hand across the cushion and slipped her fingers between long tan ones and felt them still instantly. Both women looked down at their joined hands and Arizona responded, "I'm glad you stopped running and came back. We did need to have that moment to cry together instead of fight." Callie nodded, kept her hand perfectly still despite the tingling she felt, and agreed, "We've done entirely too much fighting." Arizona smiled tentatively and was sure she would have missed Callie's next statement if she weren't looking directly at her, since it was spoken in the softest of tones, one she had never heard from her ex-wife before as she offered, "Arizona, I'm sorry I made you feel that way…today and back then. I'm sorry I walked away from our marriage the way I did and I'm sorry I didn't do what I said I was going to do, what I needed to do." Arizona's breath hitched as she listened to the words she never even allowed herself to dream of hearing. She knew it was useless now to try to fight the tears welling in her eyes and let them fall freely.

Callie reached out to wipe the tears away and watched as blue eyes fluttered closed briefly when her hand caressed the soft alabaster cheek for the first time in years. She felt her stomach clench when a small pale hand lifted to wrap around her wrist. She fully expected Arizona to pull it away, instead she held it in place and tilted her head to press her cheek closer. When Arizona opened her eyes, her words were soft, yet filled with pain and regret when she said, "You talk as if you broke our marriage all on your own Callie. I did my own damage, and I take full responsibility for the things I did, the many, many ways I broke your heart and hurt you. You ended our marriage without warning or discussion and it nearly killed me, but you did what you felt you had to do and all I ever want for you is happiness." For the first time after those words were uttered, those same words she always felt were an excuse, an escape, Callie dared to look into the cerulean blue eyes she knew so well and saw nothing but the truth. Arizona only wanted her happiness, above her own, despite the pain it caused her.

Callie closed her eyes and was hit with a medley of the same words from the other night, the reminder that over and over again, Arizona endured her own pain for her happiness. All I ever want for you is happiness. I don't want you to feel stuck. She just did what she always does and just kept her mouth shut through her pain to make you happy. You left so you could be happy! I cry every night because I am not that person for you anymore. You don't want me to be that person anymore. That's all I want for you Callie. I want you to be happy. I owe you that much after crushing your spirit. You stay here and be happy. I can't be the one to keep you from having a baby. When she opened her eyes again, she realized she too was crying and could see Arizona's confusion through her tears.

Arizona wasn't sure what just happened, where Callie went, but whatever her mind conjured, brought her an abundance of pain. Tilting her head she asked, "What did I say?" Callie smiled at her sadly and murmured, "You've always said that. You want me to be happy. You said it when we broke up the first time, you said it when you left for Africa, you said it two weeks ago, you said it earlier when you said you didn't want me to feel stuck, and you said it just now." Arizona pulled both of Callie's hands into her lap and declared, "Because that's all I've ever wanted for you is to be happy Callie." Arizona waited for the brunette to lift her head and gasped at the guilt she saw swirling in the damp bottomless pools of emotion and could feel the pain radiating out of her when she admitted, "And every time you said it, I could only think of my own pain, I convinced myself you said it as an escape, I never once thought about your pain. How hard it must have been for you to let me go. But you came back time and time again and stopped letting me go but you still tried to do everything you could to make me happy even when it made you miserable Arizona." The blonde hung her head, not in shame, but because she could no longer bear Callie taking on so much of the blame herself.

She shook her head and replied, "I wasn't always miserable Callie. I loved being married to you. I…my misery came from within, after…after the amputation, after I felt like half a person." Callie opened her mouth to argue, to tell her she was still whole, but she knew that wasn't the truth, she knew this was another one of those times where she never let her wife speak her own reality and tried to push through their pain. Arizona waited for Callie to tell her she was the same person as she was before the crash, she could feel the anger bubbling inside and tried to tamp it down. She didn't want to fight anymore, she wasn't sure how much more she could take today, how much either of them could take. Callie could see the anger start to rise and was relieved that she stopped herself then admitted, "That's just what I mean. That was one of those times I didn't listen. I couldn't hear you because I was trying so hard to cling to the norm that I tried to push you to heal, I tried to push you to be the person you'd always been, not because I was less attracted to you or because I loved you any less, but because I didn't know what else to do. I felt you slipping away, I saw it happening right before my eyes and I thought if I pushed to make things normal, they would be." Arizona exhaled slowly, all the anger dissipating as her ex-wife surprised her once again.

Looking into worried brown eyes, Arizona saw this as an opportunity not only to help Callie start to heal herself, but to help her understand what she was feeling at that time. Looking down at their joined hands, briefly wondering why neither had made the move to release the other, Arizona asked, "Do you remember what you said earlier about feeling like a shell of yourself and not knowing how to fill it?" Callie nodded and the blonde continued, "That's how I felt at that time Callie. I felt empty and broken and didn't know how to rebuild my life. I didn't know who to be without my leg and my career. Everyday I woke up, I wanted so badly to put my usual smile on my face, be the happy person everyone expected me to be, but each time I flung off the covers and saw I couldn't even take myself to the bathroom, more and more of that Arizona disappeared. It's not the same, but I get it. I understand the need to rebuild yourself and the desire to cling to the person you once were." Callie nodded in understanding looking very much like their daughter when she felt like she was being disciplined.

Arizona squeezed the hands that were in hers and proclaimed, "You'll get there, I promise you will and with any luck, you won't make the same God awful mistakes I made along the way. You're already taking steps Callie; it just doesn't feel like it because they are small and the Callie I used to know needed things to happen at the speed of light. I don't know if you are still that way, but just allow yourself to be still, allow yourself to sit and listen to what your thoughts are telling you. Enjoy your own company, you're a beautiful person and fun to be around." Callie laughed then and asked, "Are you sure you and Mer haven't talked about this?" Arizona arched her brow in question and Callie shook her head and declared, "Grey told me something very similar." Arizona tilted her head back and replied, "Ah, so you've been double doc'ed, now you have to follow our suggestions." Callie laughed out loud and felt lighter than she had in quite some time.

The two women sat on the sofa, hand in hand, looking at one another for a few seconds when they both felt the shift in the air. Afraid of what it could mean, Callie started, "I should probably…" at the same time Arizona asked, "Would you like some coffee?" Feeling oddly relieved by the invitation, Callie nodded and they both stood and walked toward the kitchen and dining area. As soon as Arizona stepped onto the wood floor and heard the crunch beneath her feet, she flinched when she remembered she never cleaned up the glass she threw and blushed in embarrassment, not wanting to turn around to see Callie's face when she noticed the shattered glass. She went straight to the closet without saying a word and pulled out the broom and dustpan.

When Callie followed Arizona into the kitchen and saw the shattered glass, she was speechless. Her ex-wife had a temper on her, but she was never one to be destructive or violent. She could see the blush on pale cheeks when she returned with the broom and dustpan and though she knew the reason for the broken glass, knew it was no laughing matter, she couldn't help but tease, "Drop a glass did you?" Arizona looked up at the knowing smirk, smiled sweetly, shoved the broom into her ex-wife's hands and retorted, "No, actually it flew off the table, must have been caught up in your haste to leave." Though she felt a twinge of guilt, Callie enjoyed the banter and quipped, "Ouch, hit a girl when she's down." Arizona walked to the coffee pot, poured the now stale brown liquid down the sink and muttered, "Feel lucky it was the wall and not the back of your head." Callie chuckled and replied, "I heard that." In a sing-songy voice, Arizona responded, "You were meant to." She then turned, stuck out her tongue at her ex-wife and laughed when she noticed Callie was already doing the same thing.

Having finally made their coffee and finished sweeping the floor, the two women took their seats at the dining room table and sighed in relief as the hot bitter liquid slid down their throats. Callie put her mug down, studied Arizona's face and asked, "How would you, um, I know it will be hard, but I'd like for us to talk everything through, not all at once of course." Arizona tilted her head and asked, "With a therapist?" Callie shook her head and answered, "I'd rather not. I mean, today was tough and I didn't respond the way I should have at first, but the conversation came naturally, it wasn't forced or scheduled. I'd like to just…I don't know…is it too late to talk about everything?" Arizona took another sip of her coffee trying to decipher if there was a hidden meaning to that question and really wanted to ask, 'Is it too late for what?' instead, she nodded and replied, "I'd like to keep trying to clear the air. I mean, you took the brunt of it today, but like I said, you weren't alone and I have some things I'd like to say to you…just if we could save it for another day, I'd appreciate that." Callie sighed in relief, released a shy smile and replied, "Yeah, I don't think either of us can take more today. I'd like that though, to talk more." Arizona smiled and agreed, "Me too."

After that, the two women started talking about their daughter and sharing funny things she did with each of them and laughed at her antics as they talked about how much she reminded each of them of the other. As soon as she took the last drink of her second cup of coffee, Callie felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, pulled it out and looked at the screen then stated, "Speak of the adorable little devil, it looks like it's time for me to pick up our girl." Arizona looked up at the clock and realized that it was nearly 5:00 pm and gasped, "Oh my goodness, I didn't realize it was getting so late." Callie shook her head and answered, "Me neither, I'm sorry I took up…" She was stopped when Arizona cut in, "Please don't apologize for being here today. As hard as it was, it was important for us and Sofia." Callie swallowed thickly and replied, "It was, thank you for agreeing to talk with me." Arizona stood, took both cups to the sink to rinse them out and responded, "Thank you for coming, and for coming back."

As the two walked to the door, they stood awkwardly looking at one another when finally Callie asked, "Can I, would it be too much to ask for a hug?" Arizona smiled, shook her head and opened her arms. Callie immediately stepped closer and they both closed their eyes as their bodies made contact. Callie whispered, "I'm really sorry I hurt you." Arizona sighed and replied, "We hurt each other and I'm sorry too." Hesitantly they both pulled back, Callie looked into Arizona's eyes and asked, "We're okay?" The blonde smiled softly and answered, "We're okay." She nearly melted and hated herself for it when full red lips parted revealing dazzling white teeth and that stunning mega-watt smile bloomed across Callie's face. Opening the door, she leaned against it and said, "Give Sof a hug and kiss for me please." Callie nodded and made her way to her car. When she got in, she looked up to see Arizona still watching her and couldn't help the thrill that ran down her spine when she saw those dimples pop at her for the first time in ages. She started her car, gave a little wave then backed out of the driveway with a new sense of purpose filling her mind.

A/N: Thank you all for your reviews. The last chapter as well as this one was guided by the characters and they told me where they wanted to go. It may sound strange, but I was a little surprised myself when Callie just walked out. After starting this chapter, I realized it was necessary to show Callie's attempt at growth while fighting her regular habits.