After spending all of Saturday night and into the early hours of Sunday morning tending to patient after patient, Callie scrubbed out of her last surgery and stretched her neck and back muscles. She'd lost count of how many surgeries she'd performed since she'd barely scrubbed out of one when she was paged to another. She'd done fracture reductions, inserted pins, rebuilt a man's collarbone, and just finished piecing together a shattered humerus and applying an external fixator, all which kept her challenged and focused on finding the best possible approach to assist her patient in maintaining their quality of life. While there were plenty of burn victims, many of the residents of the apartment building had taken it upon themselves to find a way out and jumped from third and fourth story windows, so the majority of their cases this evening were breaks and fractures along with several internal injuries. She'd found herself crossing paths with Arizona a few times in the O.R. as the now maternal-fetal surgeon was pulling double duty for peds and general surgery. They'd barely had a chance to exchange a few words, but she recalled how nice it felt not to be surrounded by the tension and resentment that had become such an ever present force whenever they were in the same room over the last couple of years.
Stuffing her scrub cap in her pocket, Callie let out a relieved sigh as she pushed her way out of the scrub room and heard there were no more patients. While walking toward the attendings' lounge to change her clothes, Callie realized that though her Saturday started off extremely shitty and she was exhausted beyond belief, adrenaline was rushing through her veins, leaving her with a high she hadn't felt in quite some time. She worked quickly, meticulously, expertly, and with complete and total confidence, something she felt she'd been lacking for longer than she cared to think about and it felt really good. It was almost as if she could feel the changes happening inside of her, the parts of her she missed so much returning slowly but surely. As she opened the door leading to the lounge, she stopped short when she noticed the small sleeping form lying on the old leather sofa. She smiled when she saw the familiar blonde hair poking out from under the blanket and ignored the churning in her stomach at the once familiar sight. She briefly wondered why the blonde hadn't just gone home when she heard the groggy, "Oh, you're finished, are you ready to go then?" Looking over, she saw Arizona rubbing the sleep from her eyes, blinking as she tried to adjust to the harsh lighting.
Arizona wasn't sure how or when she developed the habit, but at home, she could sleep like a rock, nothing would disturb her; at the hospital, however, she was always on alert and the slightest noise awoke her from her slumber, no matter how tired she was. When she heard the door click, she peeked her eyes open and thought she was dreaming when she saw Callie standing by the door watching her sleep with a soft smile on her face. It was nothing new to her to wake up like that…except, well now it was. In the past, the woman who was standing across the room, looking stiff and untouchable, used to look at her like that while she was lying beside her in their bed. Shaking herself of those thoughts, she sat up, rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing things and slurred, "Oh, you're finished, are you ready to go then?" Pulled from her own memories of the many times one or the other waited on that very couch to ride home together, Callie furrowed her brows in confusion until she recalled they had indeed ridden to work together and Arizona was her ride home.
Instead of answering right away, the brunette crossed the room, sat next to her ex-wife and asked, "You waited for me? How long have you been finished?" Arizona ran her hands through her hair, looked at the clock, then chuckled, "Actually I just got here about fifteen minutes ago. When I finished my last surgery, I went up to the NICU to check on Cayden, saw your name was still on the board, so I decided to wait here for you." Callie tilted her head and asked, "Cayden?" Arizona blushed slightly and replied, "That's what I named him, Cayden, it means 'great fighter'. Cayden Mattias, actually, I wanted him to have a name that represented his Hispanic roots as well." Callie knew it was a habit of Arizona's or the staff in the NICU to name the orphaned babies, but for some reason, she felt like this baby was more special to her ex-wife and oddly, maybe because of the circumstances of his birth, maybe because she was there, maybe because he reminded her of Sofia as well, she'd found herself taking great interest in the well-being of the tiny little guy. She shouldn't have been but was slightly surprised by the choice of the middle name, both the origin and the meaning, smiled and murmured, "Cayden Mattias, great fighter and gift of God. It fits." The blonde smiled and whispered, "I thought so too." She would never reveal to Callie that was the name she had picked out for their second child if it was a boy, but seeing how she'd never get to use it, she decided someone should have it and why not the baby who was brought into this world so much like their very own daughter.
When Callie stood up to go into the locker room to change, Arizona started folding the blanket she was using, yawned, and suggested, "It's a little too early to pick up Sofia, but I'm starving and I know you haven't eaten, what would you say to grabbing some breakfast before I take you home?" Callie had just taken off her scrub top and everything inside her was screaming this was all too familiar, too…normal and she should decline, she opened her mouth to do just that, when she heard herself saying, "Only if we can go to that little shit diner that undercooks the bacon and serves those greasy hashbrowns with the onions in them." Pulling her shirt over her head, she was internally cursing herself, but felt oddly relieved when she heard the lilting chuckle and cheerful, "Is there any other place to have breakfast after the night we've had?" Callie smirked as she recognized the double meaning in her ex-wife's words and maybe even her subconscious suggestion of the venue. This particular hole in the wall was a little secret place they'd found together and often went to for greasy comfort food when one or both of them had a shitty day or they'd had a long night in the hospital, in this instance, both were true. Closing her locker door, Callie returned, "Can't think of a single one."
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After an enjoyable but heavy breakfast, where they asked the waitress to just leave the pot of coffee on the table, Callie and Arizona found themselves once again falling into an easy banter. Both surgeons discussed the patients they saw throughout the night, trying to top each other in sharing the most disgusting thing they saw or the least intelligent decision a patient made which earned their spot on the operating table. Arizona cringed after listening to the story of Callie's last patient and asked, "How on earth did he manage to land a foot away from the safety cushion and on the only visible piece of cement?" Callie chewed her last piece of bacon, shrugged, and replied, "Just lucky I guess." Arizona stole the last strawberry from Callie's bowl of fruit and returned, "Lucky he ended up on your table is more like it." The brunette didn't know why, but that comment made goosebumps rise on her skin. Not letting it pass that the blonde took her last strawberry, she reached over and scooped up her last bite of potatoes, the crunchy bits that she knew Arizona loved and always saved for last. Lifting her fork to her mouth, she watched as the incredulous expression took form on her ex-wife's face, made a production of chewing the delicious bite and replied, "Not as lucky as your kid with the liver lac from jumping before the rescue crews even made it. You saved his life." With that simple statement, Arizona's ire over missing her favorite bite of potatoes dissipated, as she let Callie's compliment cover her like a warm blanket.
The two continued to chatter about their patients, Callie asked, "So how is Cayden doing? Is he showing signs of improvement?" Arizona sighed, stared into her lukewarm coffee which also happened to be the color of her former lover's skin and answered, "I had to put him on a ventilator. He's showing symptoms of a PDA, his skin color is still off, breathing is labored, and he isn't gaining any more weight. Karev is running the tests later this morning, but I already scheduled him for surgery tomorrow afternoon." Callie's heart clenched for the tiny baby as well as for the woman in front of her. This was the same surgery their own daughter needed when she was little more than a month old and this little one had yet to make it through his first week.
Hesitantly, she reached out with her free hand, took the smaller pale hand in hers and offered, "Well, he's got the best pediatric and maternal-fetal surgeon in the country in his corner, so I have no doubts he will be okay." Arizona gave the hand a tight squeeze and replied, "Thank you, that means a lot." Callie nodded, removed her hand, then just to cheer the blonde up a little, she slid the small piece of pancake aside revealing her own little stash of crispy potato bits and laughed as Arizona stared at her plate, slapped at her hand and accused, "You jerk!" Without hesitation, she reached over with her fork, took the greasy, savory bite of food into her mouth and rolled her eyes in pleasure. Callie laughed and asked, "You really didn't think I was that cruel did you?" Arizona tilted her head and admitted, "Well I did steal your last strawberry." Callie nodded and quipped, "And now you owe me." Arizona shook her head and laughed, her ex-wife knew she hated owing her or anyone anything, even if it was a stupid strawberry.
Finally feeling the adrenaline wearing off, Callie looked up at her ex-wife, saw the exhaustion in her eyes and her fingers twitched to rub at the dark circles, to caress the soft alabaster skin. Instead, she stated, "I'm pretty beat. You ready to get out of here?" Arizona nodded then waved at the waitress for the check. As was their long time habit, they argued over it and Arizona won out, insisting that she refused to allow Callie to pay for a strawberry she didn't eat. Walking out of the small diner, they both realized even given how their previous day started and the difficult discussion they had, this was the first time neither of them felt any awkwardness, the conversation didn't lull at any point, and nothing reminded them why they no longer shared meals together. They both knew they still had a long way to go and neither was looking forward to the impending conversation which they knew could blow their fragile newfound friendship all to hell, they simply enjoyed the ride back to Callie's in peaceful silence.
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Callie finally let herself into her house and dropped her bag near the door. She had half a mind to just go crawl into bed, but knew if she did that, she'd sleep the day away and throw off her sleep schedule, making it hard for her to wake up for her early shift tomorrow. Taking her coat off and hanging it on the rack, she decided to make herself a pot of coffee then work on some laundry, when she walked through the living room and saw the box of pictures along with the few remaining piles they had yet to put away. Looking at the box now, recalling her conversation with Arizona, she realized seeing those memories weren't quite as painful, her heart didn't feel as heavy, and her mind wasn't a jumble of emotions. Most importantly, while it was still there and would probably remain for a while, the guilt wasn't as restricting as it was just the day before. It also occurred to her that true to Arizona's word, the conversation wasn't brought up again, at least not on the drive to and from the hospital and not during breakfast. It made her wonder, if just briefly, what types of revelations her ex-wife had come to, how she had found healing and closure on her own. Then it occurred to her that at some point during her conversation, she let it slip that she had been seeing a therapist and the blonde didn't so much as flinch. She wondered if Arizona had also sought out professional help and suddenly a barrage of questions about how her ex had spent the last two years of her life invaded her thoughts.
After doing laundry, cleaning both her and Sofia's bedrooms, tidying the kitchen, and finishing a little research on her robotic limb project, which was to start up this week, Callie sat down in the living room to tackle the mess of pictures. She looked around her house once again and Arizona's words from the day before rang through her mind. I hung the pictures that I hung for Sofia, so she could know that she had a family who loved her, who cared about her, and no matter how we live our lives now, no matter that one of us is no longer alive and you and I are no longer together, we are still her family and will forever be tied together for her, to love and support her. She deserves to see how happy she made us. Callie looked at the stack of framed photos and realized how true her ex-wife's words were. Sofia deserved to know she had a family who loved her and supported her no matter how that family looked now.
She carefully picked up the frames that once adorned her walls when she and Arizona both called this place home, removed the backs, took out the pictures that currently occupied them and found different photos, images that not only reflected how truly loved and wanted their daughter was, but also reflected her original dream and how extremely happy her mothers once were together, the love she was born into. When she finished hanging the pictures, she looked down at the last framed photo sitting on the coffee table. Staring into her deceased best friend's eyes, she just couldn't bring herself to hang the picture back in its usual place. Right now she was too angry at him, too disappointed in the both of them to display it in a place of honor in her home. Instead, she carried it to her daughter's bedroom and found a place for it on her dresser. Like Arizona, she wouldn't relegate Mark to nothing, but she finally recognized that he wasn't everything. Taking a deep breath, she turned off her daughter's light, closed the door, then returned to the living room to box up the rest of the photos.
Finally deciding it was late enough to turn in, but not so early that she would awake in the middle of the night, Callie showered, changed into her pajamas, and crawled under the cornflower blue sheets she had just washed and returned to her bed. Opening the list on her phone that she started for Dr. Carr, Callie erased the first item, 'Keep the past in the past' and changed it to 'Find closure for the past.' She then added the second item, 'Listen and be open to hearing what is being said.' Then, thinking of her other goals, the way she felt after performing each surgery, how she just wanted to become that badass surgeon again, she added a third goal, 'Believe in yourself.' Realizing the task wasn't as daunting as it once seemed, Callie started to add notes about situations, specifically involving her talks with Arizona where she tried to practice what her therapist suggested and stopped to think about her words or actions before she opened her mouth. Once she was finished, she found that even during their difficult conversation and though she slipped up a few times, she was able to put the suggestions to good use and honestly felt that it made a difference in how Arizona responded to her. She was more open, spoke more freely, and rarely shut down or lashed out herself. Exhaling deeply, Callie checked to make sure her alarm was set, plugged her phone into the charger, then finally let herself slide down on the pillows and instantly fell into an easy, dreamless sleep.
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After picking up Sofia from Meredith's house and assuring their friend that both she and Callie were okay, without adding further explanation, Arizona decided to head home and do a little housework of her own. When they walked through the door, she was instantly greeted with the photos on the wall and her mind wandered back to her conversation with Callie the previous day. She realized that seeing the pictures now didn't bring that pang of sadness they always had before. Now when she looked at those pictures, she understood that the images of just her, Callie, and Sofia weren't merely a representation of her dream, but it was also Callie's dream and knowing that, hearing the words fall from her ex-wife's lips with all the sincerity and remorse she could muster, made it far easier to not only see the pictures, but to believe that she wasn't living in her own made up reality during that time. She closed her eyes and tried to push aside the memory of Callie sitting broken and crying on the floor when she arrived, but no matter how hard she tried, the image wouldn't leave her mind. Hearing Sofia shuffling around in the kitchen, Arizona broke from her thoughts and went to help her daughter.
Trying to keep herself busy and awake throughout the day, Arizona sat at the dining room table doing crafts with her daughter in between loads of laundry, packing lunches for the next day, and gathering Sofia's belongings for school. By Sofia's bath time, the blonde found herself dragging and ready to fall into her own bed. Sitting by her little girl's bedside preparing to read her a story, Arizona smiled when tiny little fingers raised up to her face, traced her eyes and her daughter's sweet voice asked, "Are you sleepy too mommy?" The blonde looked down and nodded, answering, "I am big girl, we had a long night at the hospital." Sofia tilted her head and asked, "Did mama go with you? Is she still sick?" Arizona ran her fingers through her daughter's hair and replied, "Mama just had a bad headache and thought I could help her make it go away. She's going to be just fine baby girl. You can call her tomorrow to check on her if you'd like." Sofia nodded, her own eyes starting to close, and she muttered something unintelligible before snuggling under her covers. Arizona stayed for a little longer to watch her daughter sleep but her mind kept drifting to the tiny baby in the NICU and she couldn't help but wonder if he'd make it to this point, if they'd find a family to love and nurture him and make him feel safe.
After walking through the house and closing up for the night, Arizona took her own shower, went through her nightly routine of moisturizing her face and tying back her hair, put on her pajamas, and crawled into bed. Once she turned off the light, certain sleep would soon follow, Callie's words, full of shock and wonder at the same time echoed through her mind, You…this person…this Arizona never would have cheated on me. Her entire body shuddered, she'd come to the same conclusion a long time ago, she may have been a player back in the day, but she was never a cheater, she was one of the most loyal people she knew. That's why she herself had such a hard time with it, with trying to explain it, with trying to figure out how and why she let it happen in the first place. With Ginnie's help, she'd explored all of those feelings, she just didn't know if any of them would make sense to Callie or if they would hurt her even more. She knew for herself, she hated the idea of dredging up that part of their past, revisiting the person she had become and fighting so hard to leave her behind. She owed it to Callie though, she owed Callie that much, even if it broke their tenuous bond. Finally falling into a fitful sleep, where she fought off those memories, those horrible images of the biggest mistake of her life, Arizona found herself awake and alone in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, her pillow soaked with tears, and realized she needed to talk to Ginnie before she talked to Callie.
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After a peaceful night's sleep, Callie found herself feeling much lighter as she approached the coffee cart outside of the hospital Monday morning. She was earlier than usual, so the line was a little longer. While she scrolled through her phone, she picked up on snippets of conversation; "…had lunch together last week." "Nancy saw her bring in dinner…" "…I saw them leave together yesterday." "…going to Vegas which I think is in poor taste, she could at least pick a new place to elope." "…must be why she dumped the intern so fast. Do you think they were having an affair?" "Wouldn't surprise me." Callie blinked a few times and realized the gossip was about her and Arizona. While this is exactly what they tried to avoid by having their private conversations away from the hospital, apparently it didn't work. She knew she should be angry and set everyone straight, instead she decided to have a little fun with the hospital rumor mill.
Callie wished she had a camera when the girl at the coffee cart asked, "What can I get you Dr. Torres?" and all the nurses in front of her snapped their heads around and blushed guiltily. Feeling mischievous and a little playful, Callie ordered her usual along with Arizona's and added a strawberry frosted sprinkled donut just for good measure. She finally did laugh as she walked away and heard, "Well, there's your proof." Deciding now that she had her ex-wife's favorite coffee and sweet treat, she might as well deliver it, hopped on the elevator, and headed straight for the NICU where she was certain she would find the fetal surgeon. Passing by the glass doors, she smiled when she saw Arizona sitting in front of the incubator, talking quietly to her little patient. She set the two coffees and small bag holding the donut on the countertop of the nurses' station and bit her lip when she saw one of the nurses bump the other on the arm to get her attention and point out her presence.
Callie slipped into the room, washed, gowned and gloved, then quietly made her way over to her ex-wife. Pulling up a stool, she whispered, "How is he today?" Arizona jumped slightly, unaware that she had company and smiled softly when she realized it was Callie and she was both pleased and a tad surprised to see her. For some reason, maybe it was because of her horrible nightmares which felt so real, the blonde figured her ex-wife would be avoiding her. She didn't realize she needed her calming presence until she felt it next to her. Sighing, Arizona removed one of her hands from the incubator so Callie could also touch the baby and revealed, "He opened his eyes today and he's moving around more, but I'm going ahead with the surgery. I can't take the risk that his condition will worsen." Callie stroked one finger along the baby's abdomen, nearly melting when he tried to turn into her touch, and repeated her sentiments from the night before, "He's in the best of hands Arizona. I believe in you." The blonde looked down, longing to reach out with her free hand and intertwine their fingers just to gather strength, but instead, offered a soft smile and whispered, "Thank you Callie."
Hoping to lift the blonde's spirits and maybe take her mind off her upcoming surgery for a moment, Callie turned to her ex and asked, "Guess what?" Arizona looked up, surprised to see the playfulness in her ex-wife's eyes and was almost certain what was about to fall out of her beautiful mouth. Afterall, the halls were buzzing when she came in this morning. Her own eyes twinkling and dimples popping of their own volition, Arizona asked, "What?" Callie leaned closer and whispered, "I heard we were running off to Vegas to elope." Callie watched as Arizona's smile fell and worried it was far too soon to tease her about such things. She was about to apologize when she saw blue eyes sparkling back at her and laughed lightly when Arizona returned, "Callie, you know I hate the heat. I had my heart set on Niagara Falls, that's where we were going as of 7:30 this morning." Callie shook her head and explained, "No, no, the nurses at the coffee cart decided Vegas is my MO, as tacky as it is, so that's where we are going. But now that you mention it, Niagara Falls sounds like more fun." Arizona laughed and asked, "Seriously? You heard this at the coffee cart? What did you say?" Callie shrugged and replied, "I didn't say anything, I did order your favorite coffee and donut though." The blonde let out a bark of laughter, then snapped to attention when the tiny baby startled at the sound. Shaking her head, she whispered, "I can't believe you." Callie shrugged and returned, "Why? You needed to eat. I knew for certain you skipped breakfast and headed straight up here this morning." Arizona blushed slightly, knowing she was caught and the thought that Callie not only didn't blow up at the rumors but also brought her breakfast made her heart race a little faster.
When Callie stood up to go, she saw Arizona staring at her and asked, "What?" The blonde shook her head and replied, "It's nothing, thanks for not getting a pumpkin scone." The ortho surgeon laughed, discarded her things at the door, opened it and saw the nurses start to busy themselves after clearly trying to watch them through the glass and just because she could, Callie leaned in and loudly whispered, "Just let me know what you're wearing so we don't clash." Arizona laughed again and ordered, "Go!" She then watched the ortho surgeon walk away, noticing she seemed to be holding her head a little higher and that confident stride she was once so attracted to was back. She then realized that the NICU nurses were following her gaze, stood up, walked out to the nurses' station, collected her breakfast and walked away without saying a word, giggling to herself when she heard them mutter something about "…see, I told you."
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Trying not to read too much into the why's of it all, Callie was riding a little high all morning after her brief interaction with Arizona. She laughed and joked with her patients, made a few calls to set up her first meeting with the vets, worked in her lab for a couple of hours, then finally decided she was hungry and made her way to the cafeteria. Forgetting all about the rumors, she strolled into the room and realized the constant hum of conversation nearly stopped and several heads turned in her direction. Ignoring the attention, Callie moved through the line, ordered a slice of pizza and some fries, then joined her friends at the table when she saw them summoning her with a wave. Knowing the questions would start flying, Callie sat down and declared, "No, we are not getting back together, no we are not dating, yes we have been spending more time together both for Sofia's sake and because we are trying to find closure for ourselves and each other. I will answer no further questions." Alex put his burger down and asked, "Did you two write that press release together? It's the same shit Robbins is saying." Everyone around the table laughed and Callie remained quiet, starting in on her lunch as she contemplated the fact that Arizona is giving the same responses, sharing no more than she is, and it made her feel good that they were on the same page.
Listening to the conversation flow around her, not adding much of her own opinion, Callie was brought back to attention when she heard Maggie say, "I've gotta go. I'm assisting on a PDA with Robbins." Alex smirked and replied, "That means you are standing back and watching the wizard do her magic." Maggie smiled her toothy grin and replied, "I've learned a great deal from her and respect that she is well aware of the things that could go wrong and has someone on stand-by." Alex looked at his watch and declared, "I'm always up for a good show, my next surgery isn't for an hour." Callie smiled internally; she felt a pride for the blonde that she hadn't in a long time. She knew her ex-wife was well respected by the staff and their peers, but for the past two years, she tuned out every time she heard the other woman's name. She didn't want to think about her, didn't want to hear how she was doing great things in her new specialty. Chewing her last fry, Callie sighed and realized that was only the partial truth. The crux of it was, anything Arizona was doing no longer pertained to her and it hurt just a little to know she was thriving without her, so she ignored it. She was broken from her thoughts when she heard, "Do you want to tell me what's really going on?" The brunette looked up to see Meredith looking at her with concern written all over her face and debated on whether she wanted to trust her or not.
Meredith knew Callie was struggling with something, she could see it in her eyes and decided to help her out by saying, "I was with Arizona when you called Saturday and she looked pretty concerned. I know figuring all of this out is tough. Did you fight? Are you two okay? Why didn't you call me if you needed to talk?" Callie sighed and realized she still wanted to keep her conversations with Arizona private, and revealed, "I had been going through some boxes and…well, I came to a few conclusions and thought maybe I needed to talk to Arizona about it. Help us both find some closure. We are okay. I have to admit though, I was a little shocked to come in and hear all the rumors this morning." Meredith laughed and replied, "Seriously? You two drove here in the same car Saturday and left together Sunday morning." Meredith watched Callie's facial expression closely for any sign of deceit, she was almost certain there was nothing going on between the two ex-wives, but her friend did have a habit of filling the void and hoped this wasn't the same thing. It could be disastrous.
Callie furrowed her brow, then an expression of complete shock took over her face as she corrected, "No, it wasn't like that at all! She was still at my house when we both got the page and…I don't know, we just decided to take her car instead of driving separately." The general surgeon pursed her lips and asked skeptically, "You decided?" Callie blushed slightly and admitted, "I guess, I don't know, it just kind of happened. She tossed me the keys and neither of us really thought about it. Kind of like that day I kissed you goodbye." The blonde threw her head back and laughed at the memory, patted her friend on the back and proclaimed, "I'm glad you're getting along Torres and whatever work you are doing on your own, it shows. You seem happier." Callie thought about her friend's words, smiled and replied, "I'm feeling better. More grounded. Thanks Mer." The other woman nodded, stood up, started gathering her tray and Callie asked, "Where are you headed?" Meredith shrugged and replied, "I think this might be a tough one for Robbins, figured she could use a little cheering section." Callie nodded, recalled her earlier thoughts about how this had to be hard for her ex-wife, stood to gather her own things and suggested, "Let's go then." Meredith nodded; secretly happy Callie was joining her. She knew neither of them offered the fetal surgeon much support in the past and they were overdue. Most importantly, she did know this baby hit Arizona's soft spot because of Sofia and it would mean a lot to her if Callie was there.
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Arizona stood in the scrub room, furiously brushing her hands, nails, and forearms with the anti-bacterial brush, while silently listing every step of the procedure in her head. She had performed this same operation hundreds of times but never on a baby who was born under similar circumstances as her daughter and never on one who resembled her so greatly. For some reason she felt more pressure because he was all that was left of his family. His precious little life was in her hands and for the first time in a long time, she closed her eyes and prayed to a God she wasn't certain she believed in. She took a deep breath and fought her memories, her fears, her anxieties over this procedure and focused on the tiny little boy on the table who deserved the right to live a long, happy, and healthy life. She was confident in her skills as a surgeon and knew she needn't worry, but she always believed that one of the things that made her the best at what she did was the fact that she did worry, she wasn't cocky, and she always had a plan B and in most cases a plan C.
Backing into the O.R., she waited to be gowned and gloved, greeted Maggie, then made her way to the table which held the tiny little human. As was her habit, Arizona started each surgery with, "This is Cayden Mattias, he is five days old and suffering from respiratory complications, and poor weight gain. To put it simply, his diagnosis is grim and would have once been referred to as failure to thrive. We are performing a PDA closure to seal the enlarged artery which is carrying blood to his lungs rather than his heart. We are all the family and support he has people, so I need you on your toes and prepared for anything." The entire surgical staff nodded their understanding and Arizona stepped up to the table, completely unaware that she had a gallery full of friends and colleagues silently offering their support.
When the blonde merely stood staring at the small patient for a brief moment, Bailey whispered, "What is she waiting for?" Callie looked down into the O.R., saw the furrowed brow and worry line settling just above the bridge of her ex-wife's nose and returned sadly, "She's waiting to unsee Sofia." The entire gallery seemed to inhale a collective breath and finally released it when the surgeon held out her hand and asked for a scalpel. They watched on the monitor as her dexterous and talented fingers expertly handled each instrument. While the others were watching the surgery, Callie was watching the surgeon. She hadn't taken her eyes off Arizona's face, reading every nuance, every emotion in her cerulean blue eyes. Only she could see the panic, the fear, that was coursing through the fetal surgeon's blood and she did something she hadn't done in years, something they both admitted to doing, then laughed it off as silly and sentimental. But she closed her eyes and held a silent conversation in her mind, sending thoughts to the blonde with whom she once had such a close connection they would both swear they heard the messages in their own hearts. Breathing deeply, Callie thought, You've got this Arizona. YOU. ARE. GREAT!" She then opened her eyes and was almost certain she was seeing things when the blonde's shoulders relaxed and the tension that was in her voice as she called out commands was no longer evident.
Arizona blew out a deep breath, it had been so long since she'd worked on a baby this small outside of the womb and was really wishing for her fetal instruments at this point, though she knew they would do no good. As she stared into the heart, which was no larger than a grape, her body tensed when she reached for the faulty duct and started to clamp it off. Taking a deep breath before she placed the small clip, she suddenly felt her entire body relax and could swear she heard Callie's voice in her head encouraging her and reminding her she could do this. With the calmness washing over her, Arizona quietly and calmly warned, "When I place this clamp, the monitors are going to flatline, if they are not up in thirty seconds, we jump into action." She then reached out, placed the clamp, heard the monitor flatline, then began her count. She could feel the tension in the room, barely recognized the touch of her scrub nurse as she patted the sweat from her forehead, and felt her own heart race as she stared into the open chest willing the little heart to beat. When she got to twenty-two, she blinked when she saw the little pulsating of the tiny organ, waited for another, then another, and finally heard the monitors come back to life as well and project a steady rhythm.
Lifting her head up to the ceiling, she then noticed she had an audience sitting in the gallery, high fiving one another. It never surprised her to see Karev or Richard, even Miranda in situations such as this, but the two occupants in the front row staring down at her with pride did catch her off guard and suddenly it made sense why she thought she heard Callie sending her strength. She knew they couldn't see her smile of gratitude behind her mask, so she nodded at her ex-wife and her newfound friend, both of whom seemed to be making a huge effort to be more supportive and involved in her life, then continued with the surgery.
After closing up the tiny chest, staring at the scar that resembled that of Sofia's, Arizona nodded for the nurses to take the baby back to the NICU, then made her way to the scrub room. She found that Maggie had just finished scrubbing out and was waiting for her. She opened her mouth to apologize for taking up the cardio surgeon's time when she was enveloped in a tight hug and the other woman declared, "That was amazing Robbins. I never tire of watching you work." Arizona smiled softly, removed her gear, and offered, "I'm sorry I had you in there for nothing, I just…" Pierce cut her off and finished, "I respect that you do that and to be quite honest, I've never worked on a heart that small, so I was relieved you didn't need me." Both women laughed then and Maggie waved as she headed out the door. Arizona had already turned and started scrubbing out, so she didn't notice the person who came in as the other surgeon left. She looked up to see Callie leaning against the sink studying her carefully, concern filling her dark chocolate eyes.
Callie could tell Arizona was barely holding it together and didn't want to ask how she was holding up for fear that she would fall apart. Looking at her though, she seemed so much smaller than the commanding surgeon who just saved the life of a baby who could fit in the palm of her hand and without saying a word, she opened her arms, not at all surprised when the smaller woman fell against her and started sobbing. Callie closed her eyes and focused on soothing her colleague, her fellow surgeon, and tried not to think about the fact that this was her ex-wife and the body in her arms fit so perfectly, as if it was made to be there. Clinging tightly, offering all the support she could, she encouraged, "You did fantastic Arizona. I know this one was especially hard, but you saved Cayden and he will start healing and thriving and soon he will grow just as fast as Sofia did." Arizona closed her eyes and tried to will herself to let go, to tell herself Callie was only here as her colleague and co-parent and this baby hit home for both of them. But she couldn't help but inhale the scent that was uniquely Callie and take comfort in the strong arms holding her as they did so many times before. It wasn't lost on either woman that though they had hugged recently, offered the other comfort recently, this was the first time that it didn't pertain specifically to damage they had caused one another and while they didn't want to admit it, it felt different, it felt good.
A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. I'm trying not to bombard you or the girls with heavy conversations and angst in every chapter and felt they were due for a little lighthearted fluff. While they are both recognizing their hidden feelings in this chapter, please remember these two women are stubborn and have both been burned and it will be a long time before they even attempt to analyze them or admit them to each other.