Well hi there!

Wow, wow, wow. This chapter was soooo difficult to write haha To be quite honest, I don't think I've ever re-written a chapter as many times as this one. But I think we've finally gotten it! So sorry for the length of time between updates, but I've been supremely busy! My brother got married so we had a trip to Missouri back in early September, and before that I was working nearly 60 hour weeks. I've had a very stressful and emotional summer :(

Anywho, I'm back now and I've already got ideas for chapter 3 so hopefully it won't be long before we get the next chapter up. I want to do more regular updates.

As for this chapter, all I can say is, prepare yourselves : Please don't forget to review! Let's get GUH circulating!

Love you guys as always and thank you! :)

~Em

Chapter 2: Dying Wishes

The shattered screams of dying men were music to Anton's ears. Sweet, sweet music. Not the shattered screams that accompanied death. No, death was a mercy. Death was a welcome embrace to end the suffering he so tastefully wrought about and relished. No, these were the screams of tortured souls. These men, women and children who had lost everything.

Family. Husbands, wives, children, parents, and more.

Homes. Some peaceful, others barbaric. The nature of the home, the culture, meant nothing. Everyone had a home. Everyone had a home to lose.

Freedom. Every man was born free, until he wasn't. Every man had arms, legs, teeth and tongue, all of which to offer service to those greater than they. Greater than they would ever be. Regardless of race, gender, cultural background.

Everyone had their gods they cried out to. Pled with. Wept to. None of them answered. Perhaps that's what made them all equal in his eyes. The sheer hopelessness that all men suffered.

Every man who was born had a single destiny. Death. It was the inevitable end of every man's life. How he lived out his days, whom he spent it with, living either morally right or wrong, none of it mattered. His life meant next to nothing.

Oh, it held value. His work and profits weren't meaningless. But he was like a copper in a wealthy man's velvet-lined pocket. Easily expendable, easily forgotten, but gathered together by the thousands, by the tens of thousands, he had intrinsic value.

While their pointless weeping and gnashing of teeth and sorrow and rage and emptiness were all music to his ears, there was very little that caused him more pleasure than breaking the strongest. The fearless. There was something so intensely satisfying in watching a proud, arrogant man fall to his knees in humble submission. The shame on his face as his people bowed in turn. Broken. Submissive. Dead.

Alive. Breathing. But dead.

The door to his study groaned open on rusty hinges, interrupting the moans and weeping echoing from outside. Slaver Anton glanced up from his book as a trio of individuals stalked into the room. He took quick stock of the tall, broad-shouldered man, the woman with lank, dirty blonde hair, and the well-muscled young man standing between them. Not protecting him, as some parental figures did. He was leading them.

Slaver Anton's lips twitched. "Brandyn Anderson." He turned his gaze back to his book and dropped a leather bookmark between the pages. "I wondered when you would grace me with your presence."

The boy threw back his hood with a quick flick of his wrist. His dark hair framed cool, calculating blue eyes. A red scar slashed down the right side of his face from his chin to his brow. Complete with the Berserker crest tattooed onto the left side of his neck, he looked nearly identical to his late father. A far cry from the boyish lad who'd walked into his study nearly ten years ago, brimming with ideas and schemes and fantasies of the devious kind.

"I've come to collect on our bargain." Brandyn said, cutting right to the chase. So unlike his father in that regard.

"Would you care for a drink?"

"I don't have time for games." Brandyn said as Anton stood and poured himself a glass of wine from a decanter. "Unlike you, I've got work to do."

Anton chuckled and sipped his wine. "Yes, you and your endless work. How long has it been since you've taken a day off? I suspect… before you fled Berk with your tail tucked between your legs, yes?"

A muscle ticked in Brandyn's jaw. Anton smiled and took another sip of his wine.

"It's not his fault things fell apart." The woman, Allie of Outcast Island, said as she too threw off her hood. "Hiccup got the jump on us. If it weren't for Lofn, the plan would've worked."

"We've discussed this already." Anton said, sitting and propping his feet onto his desk. "Excuses do not a lucrative business make. I've told you once and I'll tell you again: Brandyn's biggest mistake was underestimating that girl. Haddock's children, though they've fallen by the wayside a few times, would not abandon their home so easily."

"I had her." Brandyn said through gritted teeth. "I had her and she had to go and get pregnant."

"No, you had to get greedy." Anton said simply. "Impatience leads to sloppy mistakes. The plan was flawless. You were willing to live on that island for years to snatch her out of Hiccup's life. A finer apple could not have been better cultivated to pluck. And because the girl had standards, you got impatient and greedy. That was your first mistake. Her pregnancy was only an unfortunate side effect."

"That unfortunate side effect," Brandyn said, his voice hardening. "Is my son."

"Yes, yes," Anton sighed, lifting a sheet of paper and scanning the details. "Darin, isn't it? Smart lad from what I hear."

Brandyn went still. "What have you heard?"

"You know, it fascinates me." Anton said, running a hand through his blonde goatee. "How one such as yourself, who always hated that wretched family and the concept of love and sacrifice for others, is suddenly willing to do anything for a boy you never wanted."

"I have a lot to gain from him."

"Indeed, but are you sure it's not love? Even in the darkest recesses of your heart, you want to take him away from the Haddocks and the Larsons and keep him all to yourself. To purge all the goodness from him until he is a shell of his former self, until he is broken and hardened from the woes of life, just like you."

"Stop it!" Brandyn bellowed as the other man, likely Chief Grey of Rune, grabbed his arm to keep the boy from launching across the table. "Why do you care anyway? I'm only here to make sure you keep up your end of the bargain."

Anton dropped his amused facade and dropped his feet to the ground. "You know better than that, boy, or at least I thought you did. I too have much to gain from watching Berk burn to the ground. I'll be ready, just as I told you I would be. Don't doubt me. And quite frankly, I don't care. I just like twisting the knife into the heart of weak men who believe themselves to be strong. At the end of the day, you're no different than the Haddocks."

"I'm nothing like them."

"You're exactly like them. You merely have a catastrophically different belief system. However, you believe yours to be right just as fiercely as they do theirs."

Brandyn yanked his arm out of Grey's hold. "I'll send you a message when it's time. Don't be late."

Anton scoffed as he turned and strode from the room, Allie and Grey on his heels. They were only good for decoration anyway. "Death and destruction are my coin, little Anderson. I'll be there when the bell tolls."

The slamming door was the only response he got. Still, as Slaver Anton picked up his book and propped his boots back onto his desk, he couldn't help a slow amused smile. Yes, he would be there. Watching mighty men bow in submission was his favorite part.

And Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third had had it coming for a long, long time.

Adrianna's knee bobbed impatiently as she waited, her green eyes fixed on the window. A trio of Nadders flew by, causing a fierce updraft that made the windows shudder, yet she hardly noticed. She didn't want to be here. She had to be and needed to be, but she didn't want to be. It took every ounce of her self control to stay in the chair and wait for Mara.

She had questions. No, concerns. Was "concerns" too strong of a word? Probably. She felt so odd to be here without Erick's knowledge that her stomach cramped up with knots. She'd never come to the healer's without telling him about it.

Gods, she was a horrible, wretched thing. With her luck he'd see her leave from his leather shop window across the square and become worried. Truly it was nothing, but she'd have to tell him something when he asked-

The door swung open and she jumped as Mara swept in, her dark hair pulled high into a bun as always. She smoothed her frock and apron as she shut the door.

"Sorry, Adrianna. I had a few other patients-"

"Oh, that's alright." Adrianna waved her off. "This isn't urgent, I just… have some questions, I guess."

"Oh?" Mara's face had a knowing look to it as she sat in a vacant chair. "Tell me about it."

"Well… I… I guess I don't exactly know how to put it into words."

"That's alright. Take your time."

"So… I guess you could say," Adrianna said, fumbling for words. "That I'm…" At Mara's expectant expression, she huffed. "I'm struggling to speak, that's what I am."

Mara grinned. "I will ask some follow up questions then, don't fret. Have you been feeling alright? How do you feel?"

Stressed. Frustrated. Confused.

"I feel alright. I mean, nothing has changed." Adrianna said, averting her eyes. "I'm starting to wonder if my issue is more in my head than anything."

"Have you been… well, for a lack of a better word, expecting anything?"

At that, Adrianna looked up. Mara seemed to be withholding a smile. As if… Oh.

"No. I mean, I wish- Yes, but no. Ugh."

Mara laughed now. "Dear, it is alright. I have dealt with this for twenty years. Just say what's on your mind."

"I'm not pregnant."

"Oh." Mara said, amusement slipping away. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"You say positive but sometimes it's very difficult to know for sure-"

Adrianna flopped back into her chair. "Mara, trust me. I'm not."

"Well obviously you wish you were."

Ah, bless her for being so intuitive. "Basically. I guess I just… have been watching the days and marking the calendar and we… you know, all the things."

"Mhm." Mara said, a small yet still sly smirk on her face.

Gods blast her for blushing. She'd been a married woman for three years now!

Adrianna cleared her throat. "Yeah, but nothing. It's not for lack of trying. I guess I'm just confused because without realizing it I've stopped being affectionate and caught myself thinking 'if' we ever have more kids, so I'm starting to have all these confusing doubts."

Mara nodded in understanding. "Anna, first of all, there is nothing wrong with any of these thoughts. This is perfectly normal. Without going into details, does everything seem okay with Erick? During-"

"Yup. All's well." Adrianna said quickly, not wishing to go into any details.

"I would assume so, but sometimes-"

"I know, but legitimately I don't think anything is…" Adrianna waved her hands around. "Not working as they should. And that sounds so weird to say. Gods."

A flash of a grin appeared on Mara's face but it quickly disappeared. "Again, that's alright. You know, sometimes these things just take time. It might take years-"

"That's the thing though." Adrianna sighed. "It's already been years. Darin just turned three! And sorry, not to be weird, but there have been no shortage of moments!"

"Not weird at all."

"So… why?"

Mara pursed her lips. "I imagine this would be exceedingly frustrating, especially if you're notating the days. It's a time consuming effort."

"It is. It is time consuming and frustrating when I count the days and then Auntie Flow, as Cliff respectfully calls it, comes to visit once more."

Mara rolled her eyes. "That nephew of mine..."

Adrianna fought a grin. "Supposedly he heard it from Taryn, but I suspect lies." Her smile fell. "You see my frustration though."

"I do." Mara pursed her lips for a long moment, deep in thought. "I have a few ideas. I can give you some tonics and teas, things that enhance fertility. Just a few cups a day and we can see if anything happens. And if it doesn't then-"

"Then what can we really do?"

"I prescribe patience." Mara said, leaning forward and patting her knee. "I'm not a wife or a mother so I won't pretend to know what this feels like on a personal level, but I do know that oftentimes it just takes time. Some couples get pregnant without effort it seems while others have to be patient. Unfortunately it's a normal part of life that many struggle with. But I would suggest trying the teas and tonic, and perhaps don't push Erick away. Have you talked to him about it?"

Adrianna felt that guilt rise up again. "No."

"I would. And if he has any concerns, my door is open to him as well."

"To… talk about patience?"

"No- well yes, but no." Mara said. "If he has questions like you or, for lack of a better word, wants a check up, my door is open."

Adrianna blinked. "Why would he need a check up?"

"Sometimes things don't work as they should," Mara said. "But for all intents and purposes, you're healthy. You've been pregnant before."

"But Erick's never… Is that common?" Adrianna asked. "For men to have problems?"

Mara gave her a sad shrug. "It's such a difficult thing to know. There's only so much you can deduce, and most people don't wish to speak of their most intimate moments, which is understandable of course. Is it common? Hard to say. Is it impossible? Surely not."

Adrianna sat back in her chair, mind churning. It felt strange to consider and yet it would make sense. She'd been pregnant before. There didn't seem to be anything wrong, and yet...

"Now don't go getting ideas in that pretty head of yours." Mara said firmly. "I'm not saying there is anything wrong with Erick, and I hate to even use that word-"

But Adrianna wasn't listening. What if… what if Erick couldn't have kids?

"It's possible though," Adrianna said, interrupting Mara's unheard tangent. "Right?"

Mara pursed her lips. "Technically yes, but- where are you going?"

"I just remembered, I have to pick up Darin from a play date." Adrianna said, thinking fast. "I was here longer than I thought I would be."

"Well, alright." Mara said, standing. She gave Adrianna a firm look, but only said, "As I said, dear, just be patient and in the meantime I'll prepare some tonics for you."

"Okay, thanks. I appreciate it." Adrianna said as she pulled the door open and left the room. She gave Inga a small awkward smile as she walked by, but didn't pause to talk. Her mind was churning and she barely registered the purple Terrible Terror that swept past her as she left the healer's.

The sun was warm on her face as she walked down the busy street, dodging carts and dragons and passersby without noticing. It would make sense, she thought. She'd been near religious with counting the days after their moments of intimacy. It certainly wasn't for lack of trying on her part. To be fair, it wasn't for lack of trying on his either, but what if Erick couldn't actually have kids? What if there was something wrong and they didn't know?

A sense of devastation pulled at her bones. What a horribly depressing thought, and yet… yet it made sense, after a few years of-

"Hi Annie!"

Adrianna flinched away, then put a hand to her chest as Erick appeared at her side. Gods, she'd walked right in front of the leather shop-

An amused frown creased Erick's brow. "Are you okay?"

"Me?" Adrianna asked. "Oh! Yes. I'm fine. Definitely fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. You just surprised me, that's all."

"Right."

His teal eyes scanned her face and she waited, holding her breath. "Did you… need something?"

His brow furrowed. "Well, I don't know. A hello, a hug. Dare I say a midday kiss from my wife as she strolls by on a nice summer day?"

"Oh. Right." Adrianna went up on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Sorry, I'm in a rush. I have to go get Darin."

His fingers gripped her chin, gentle, always gentle, so that if she wanted to pull away she could. He always gave her a choice. And yet she stilled at the bemused look on his face.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Adrianna felt her resolve turn to goo. She was acting weird, she knew it. But she couldn't say anything about it here and now, in the middle of the street. She didn't even know what she could say!

"Yeah!" She said at last, forcing a little joy into her voice. "Yeah, I'm good." This time as she reached up on tiptoes she kissed him, a soft peck that he… barely responded to.

She dropped back to her heels and tried not to balk at the knowing look in his eyes. She was lying and putting on a face, and he saw right through it. Just as he always had.

"Okay." Erick said, a different tone to his voice now. Not anger or even frustration, but… something. "I'll see you later then."

Feeling instantly horrible, Adrianna put a hand to his chest and smoothed the material to his shoulder. "See you later." Her voice came out softer this time. An unspoken apology maybe. That, at least, had been real.

Without another word, she turned and walked away. She could feel his eyes on her as she left, feeling more and more guilty with each step she took. And yet she wasn't sure what she felt more guilty for: The lies that something was wrong or her traitorous inner thoughts.

Erick had been staring at his ledger for the better part of twenty minutes. He'd hoped crunching numbers for their shop budget would help him to focus when beading and cutting leather and even tanning couldn't seem to shake him out of his funk. But even the precision of mathematics couldn't shake the feeling of foreboding weighing on his shoulders like a blanket.

She'd flinched. And not only that, but she'd lied, too.

Erick knew his wife better than anyone. Better than he knew himself. He knew her darkest fears and secret dreams and wishes. Her favorite star. Her greatest pleasure and biggest regrets. Her favorite season. Her favorite date. And by extension, she knew everything about him. She alone could read his moods, the expressions that he kept hidden from everyone else. She alone understood his greatest fears and didn't balk. She smoothed away his greatest insecurities with a kind word or gesture. It wasn't perfect, but it was as perfect as it could be.

She was branded into his skin, the lifeblood of his every breath. She was his very heart and soul.

And she'd flinched away from him and looked at him with fear in her eyes.

A distant sound wafted past his ears as he tried to puzzle out that deer in torchlight look on her face when he'd matched her stride from the leather shop door. The flinch was understandable; sometimes you could unintentionally scare people if they were deep in thought. Except that look in her eyes, like a mixture of dismay and fear, as if she'd not meant to walk by the shop at all-

Something soft and crunchy knocked into the side of his face and he jolted. He whirled around to see Cliff staring at him with a nonplussed expression.

"Welcome back to Berk, Larson. Care to pay attention? I've only been talking to you for ten minutes."

Erick huffed and dropped his ledger. "Sorry." He curled his fingers up and down, realizing they were cramped from the force of gripping the leather book for so long. "I was thinking."

"Nooooo, you? Thinking?" Cliff snorted and hopped up onto the counter. "What's eating you?"

"No, continue your story."

"Continue my- now you listen here, bucko." Cliff said, pointing a limp cloth at him in what Erick supposed was meant to be a threatening way. "You didn't hear the first half of the story so why would you presume to think that I'd just start you off in the middle?"

"Why didn't you stop at the first third of the story if you knew I wasn't listening?"

"I didn't know you weren't listening! It's hard to hekkin tell, bruh. You know when you always get annoyed when I ask if you're listening and you say, 'yes, of course, Cliffie. I always listen to your stories!' And then the few times I don't ask are the times you've conveniently decided to check out-"

"I didn't decide, I'm just a little stressed at the moment!" Erick said indignantly.

"Uh huh, which is why you are going to spill the beans and tell me what the problem is so we can get back to my story with less brain-rupturing stress!"

Erick groaned, dropping his head back. "Okay, fine! It's... " He sighed. "It's Adrianna."

"Of course, it is. You're always thinking about her."

"No, this is different. She's… acting weird."

Cliff was silent for a minute. "I almost came out to say hi earlier but it looked like you two were having a moment."

"Good or bad? From your point of view."

"Well…" Cliff paused, his jovial tone lessening by the second. He began rubbing some oil onto a strip of leather with the cloth. "It's not really my place to say-"

"No, genuinely." Erick said, turning in his chair so they were face to face. "You've known us for years. I'm curious what you thought."

Cliff pursed his lips. "Well, you both looked kinda tense."

Erick exhaled a breath. "Yeah."

"It's none of my business, o'course," Cliff said, his grey eyes flicking upward for a moment. "But is everything okay at home?"

"Sure. I mean it is, but it's… not."

Cliff snorted. "A lame response if I've ever heard one."

"I don't know how to explain it, Cliff. She's avoiding me, she's hiding things from me, and she just lied to my face when I asked if she was okay. She never acts like this with me. Many other people, but not me. So…" Erick exhaled a heavy breath, realizing that he was actually angry. The emotion bubbled beneath his skin. He hated it, but he couldn't figure out what the problem was.

"What do you mean she's avoiding you?"

"Physically. In every way."

"Ah come on, that can't be true-"

"Did you see that kiss she just gave me?"

"Uh no, that would be weird if I was standing at the window watching, don't you think?"

"...true." Erick couldn't fight the smile as Cliff snorted. "But it wasn't the same as usual and every time I've tried to hold her or anything the last few weeks, she backs away. She actually shoved me away the other day!"

"Now I'm no expert," Cliff said. "But maybe she just doesn't feel well? Taryn was like that whenever Auntie Flow would come to visit-"

"Do you have to call it that?"

"In my experience, characterization of some of nature's most despicable and torturous events makes it easier to bear."

"Yes, because you know what it's like to experience a woman's monthly cycle."

"No, but you notice the women have clung to the beloved term. It shall go down in history-"

"Focus, healer Cliff."

"Right, sorry. Point is, Taryn was always very off limits during her cycle. We have a strict 'no touchie' rule during those times. Maybe Anna is the same way?"

"And after three years of being married, I wouldn't have gotten used to it by now?" Erick asked, raising a brow.

Cliff shrugged his thin shoulders. "Maybe her body is changing."

"I thought you said you weren't an expert."

"Maybe she's pregnant."

Erick's stomach gave a painful flop.

"Oh." Cliff said, also going quite still. "Gods, I hope not or I just ruined my bestest bruh's bestest surprise ever."

Erick stared at all the items on his desk without actually seeing them. Could that be why she'd been acting so strange? After all, they hadn't been married for the first trimester of her pregnancy with Darin, so how would he know what her physical mood swings were? What if… oh gods, what if-

"Oh gods. Nope." Erick pressed his fingers into his eyes and rubbed them.

"Aw but bruh, what if-"

"No, I'm not entertaining the thought. Just in case it's not that. The disappointment would be…"

Soul-crushing. Yeah, that would be the word for it.

They'd been trying for a baby for… gods, he wasn't even sure how long. A while. A long while. The thought of that dream coming true with his Annie was… gods, his heart hurt just to think of it. He wanted that more than anything.

But, with a long, slow breath, he shoved all those emotions back into their box and shut the lid. Just in case. If by the gods' graces Cliff was right, then that box could explode with joy, but right now it was only conjecture. For all he knew, Adrianna was acting weird for another reason entirely.

With a long slow breath through his lips, he raised his head. "Anyway, I don't know what's going on but she's just been acting increasingly weird lately. And…"

Cliff leaned forward so the table threatened to topple. "And?"

"And… I just saw her leave the healer's." Erick frowned as Cliff gave a small gleeful shout.

"Well there you go! Don't overthink it, bruh. Seriously, let's just hope and pray that it's something completely normal and happy and good. And if it isn't, then it's Anna, right? She'll tell you what it is. She always does!"

"Yeah."

Except he didn't feel the agreement. If it was something good, why did she look so dismayed to see him? He could forgive the flinch, but if it had been just a mere surprise then she would have brushed it off almost instantly. Smiled at him like she always used to. The kiss wouldn't have been forced. She wouldn't have lied to him. She wouldn't have looked guilty as she walked away.

But what was she guilty about? For hiding something from him? For the last few weeks of odd behavior?

Or was it something else? What if… what if she was pregnant? They'd decided together that they wanted to grow their little family. But what if it was growing and she'd changed her mind? What if... What if...

"So anyway, I gotta restart my story at phase one. You ready?'

Erick stared unblinking at his ledger. "Yup."

"Okay, buckle your riding gear-"

As Cliff regaled him with an exhaustive tale of fireworms eating through his mother's rutabaga garden, Erick tried his best to listen. He tried and failed. Perhaps Cliff didn't notice this time or was gracious enough not to point it out, but tiny flying fireballs were the last thing on his mind.

That lid on that box shifted and he tamped it down. He wouldn't let his emotions get the best of him. He could be patient. He was always patient with her. Whatever she was going through, they'd work through it, just like they always did.

If she gives you a chance, a tiny voice in his mind said.

Ignoring that thought, Erick snatched up his ledger and forced his mind away from it. Budget. Cliff's story. Close up shop.

And then… then he'd go home.

"Are the western fences rebuilt?" Hiccup asked.

"Aye, they finished 'em an hour ago."

"Good." Hiccup said, ticking that off his mental checklist. "I have firsthand experience with losing kids down that cliff and it's terrifying. I'm glad they made that a priority."

"Aye." Gobber said, groaning as he took a seat at the head table. His blonde hair had long since turned to grey. It was a wonder that he could still get around, elderly as he was. "We can't be havin' any more accidents where that's concerned. The risk of nearly losing Mrs. Ack's cart of hand knitted clothes was bad enough. Those are meant to go with Johann and Alton on their next visit, you know. Anyway, she works hard on those comfy threads."

"She does." Hiccup agreed.

"Hey, Chief. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Hiccup turned and found Inga Jorgenson approaching with a harried Terrible Terror flapping wildly at her side. The Terror grabbed at her clothes and she batted at it with a mixed look of irritation and worry.

"Sure, what's going on?"

"It's Maybelle." Inga gestured up at the Terror, who landed on Hiccup's shoulder with an irritated growl. "She's Alton's Terror."

"I recognize her, yes. He loaned her from me as one of my best Terrors." Hiccup scratched the dragon's chin but she snapped her jaws. "What's wrong, girl?"

"That's just it. She arrived a half hour ago, squawking and biting and clawing," Inga said, her blue eyes filling with worry the more she spoke. "But there's no letter and… and I've been waiting for one from Alton for more than a week. I'm just… I'm sure it's nothing, but…"

Hiccup frowned and met the dragon's eyes. She seemed to be trying to tell him something with her brown eyes fervently holding his own. "What is it?"

"You don't think…" Inga halted. "Nothing's happened, right? The ship couldn't have… I mean, it's high summer. There are always bad storms-"

"No, that can't be it." Hiccup said. "It's possible, but I'm sure it's nothing. Maybe the winds were bad and the letter came off."

"But you train your Terrors to retrieve the letters or parcels when that happens, Chief." Inga insisted, crossing her arms. "Besides, losing the letter wouldn't make her freak out like this. Something isn't right. Alton would never send her back with no letter."

Hiccup chewed his lip. "Alright, I'll send someone out there to check on them. They have the trade route, remember, so it won't take long to track them. Or perhaps Maybelle could lead them-"

"Can I go?" Inga asked.

Hiccup hesitated. With Inga's condition, though she was quite healthy, he wasn't sure she needed this sort of stress, especially while flying. And if something was wrong…

"That's not my call to make," Hiccup said, knowing full well that Snotlout would never allow her to go. "But I'll talk to your dad, okay?"

Relief filled her expression. "Okay. Thanks."

"Inga?"

She turned back, looking confused and unsure.

"I'm sure they're fine," Hiccup said in a firm voice. "Alton's a smart kid. He knows what to do in a pinch."

Inga smiled in a gentle way that he was sure very few people ever saw. "I know."

Hiccup watched her go with a smile. The girl was a spitfire, just like her father. And yet her instincts were rarely wrong, like Heather's. Like his own.

And though he'd done his best to dissuade some of her fears for her benefit, he agreed with her. Something was off. Alton and Johann always sent regular letters. If something had happened… maybe if they didn't have the time to write one…

Nodding to Gobber, Hiccup turned on his heel and began looking for his dragon. He found Toothless outside, sniffing the air with a contemplative look. "Come on, bud. We need to find Snotlout and the twins."

Toothless sensed something was up and narrowed his eyes as he began searching the village below.

Perhaps sending the girl's father out when she was already stressed wasn't the best idea, but Snotlout would see it through. He'd find Alton and when he returned home to share the good news with his daughter, she'd be ecstatic. Everything would be fine. The twins would have his back. They'd been itching for an adventure anyway. As long as they didn't do anything stupid-

No, this was important. They could put their minds to anything, and this was no exception.

Adrianna couldn't remember the last time she'd been in a dinner so tense.

It was strange. Erick came home from work and gave her a smile as always, but that strange look was still in his eyes from earlier in the day. She'd mentally sighed, hoping he'd have forgotten or moved on. Well, that was an ignorant thought if there ever was one. She supposed she'd probably jilted his affections one too many times for it to be considered "just a mood" or… whatever.

The evening moved with its usual routine. They tag teamed playing with Darin and cooking dinner. He fed the dragons in the barn while she gave Darin a bath and read him his favorite book, If You Give a Dragon a Cookie. Only once Darin fell asleep in her arms and she'd put him to bed at a solid eight thirty did she realize the sun was only just sinking and she had nothing else to distract her from the very real and probably very frustrated husband.

As it was, Erick didn't appear to be frustrated. Not unless you knew him very well. Which she did. The slight downturn of his mouth and furrowed brow spoke volumes.

In truth, she did need to clean a few things in the kitchen-a few dirty pans, some small cups that Darin liked, as well as tossing dirty clothes into a hamper-but she soon realized that Erick wasn't bridging the gap like he usually did. So that meant he was probably waiting for her.

Fair enough. She'd shunned him enough that he was probably doing his best to be patient and let her come to him. The thought pained her, only because he didn't deserve to be treated like that or feel like he had to cater to her every emotional whim. He had feelings and emotions, too.

And yet, she still had no idea what to say to him.

Finally when she set the last dish out to dry, she glanced toward the living room. He had a book on his lap, his prosthetic stretched out toward the lit fireplace, but she couldn't tell from this distance if he was actually reading or not.

Sighing through her nose, Adrianna walked into the living room and sat down next to him. She tucked her feet beneath her as she glanced at the book in his hands. "Hey."

A swift glance in her direction. "Hey."

Adrianna caught a few words on the page and then lifted the cover. "An old Doctor Who book? I haven't read those in years. Why did you pull this one out?"

Erick closed the book and set it on a nearby coffee table. "I was just looking at it. And thinking about how, back in those days, we used to tell each other everything."

Ouch. Alright, she deserved that.

"I'm sorry." Adrianna said softly. She reached out and took his arm in her hands. "About earlier."

His teal eyes lifted to hers, guarded. He was never guarded with her. "Just tell me what's going on. Please."

Adrianna wasn't sure what to make of that expression. Normally she could read him so well and… she couldn't place this. "What do you think is going on?"

Erick's eyes rolled slightly. "Annie, you can't be serious."

"I'm just trying to figure out what you're thinking," Adrianna said. "If there's something specific you're expecting me to say."

"No, I don't want you to try to read my mind and then change your response based on that." Erick said. There was patience in his voice, she could hear it, but it sounded strained. "Just tell me, what is wrong."

Adrianna opened her mouth and then closed it.

Erick closed his eyes and looked away, his lips pursed. "I'm… kind of at a loss right now. You're trying to read my mind but honestly I don't know what to think."

"I just… I don't want to hurt your feelings."

He faced her with a mixed look of hurt and confusion. It was hurt that she saw on his face at the leather shop. And now.

"But," Adrianna added quickly. "I think we've already crossed that bridge a little bit."

Something like begrudging amusement filled his expression and he looked away. "Yeah, you could say that."

"I just… I don't want to make it worse."

Erick pursed his lips for a long moment and then took a deep breath before twisting on the couch to face her more fully. "Just tell me. Whatever it is, I'm a big boy. I can handle it."

"Erick-"

"No, Annie. Whatever it is, I need to hear it. Clearly I do, or you wouldn't be balking from it. Balking from me for weeks."

"No, that's not- I didn't…" Adrianna buried her face in her hand. "That wasn't intentional. I only noticed a pattern the other day."

"The other day when you pushed me away? Fair, though." Erick said, raising his hands sheepishly. "Sometimes you're not in the mood and you have to beat me away. It's fine."

He was trying so hard to be lighthearted. She appreciated it, but it wasn't going to make this any easier.

"Yeah." Adrianna took his hand in hers and traced a thumb across one of the scars across his knuckles from training. The pads of his fingers were calloused from firing his bow so regularly. "I went to see Mara today."

He was silent for a long moment. "I know."

Adrianna pursed her lips. "You saw me leave her place."

"Yes. You were really… jumpy when you left."

Truth by truth. She could do this. She kept her eyes on their hands, even as his fingers began stroking up and down her palm. "I was. Not at you, but some things I talked about with Mara."

Another long pause. "Such as?"

Did she hear a slight quiver in his voice? No, maybe she'd imagined it. She stubbornly kept her eyes on their hands. If she met his eyes as she said it, she wasn't sure if she'd have the guts to say what was on her mind.

She let out a quick breath. "I went to talk to her about getting pregnant since we've been trying for a long time and it hasn't happened yet."

Something flickered in his eyes as they went to their locked hands, but his voice was soft as he said, "Oh. And what did she say?"

"Well nothing much, really. It's not as though I don't know how it works so much as wondering why it's taking so long." Adrianna glanced up at him through her hair. "You know I was keeping track of the days. Every time we'd… you know, I'd count the days until I was most fertile-"

"You can do that?"

Adrianna fought a sudden laugh. "Yes."

Erick shook his head with a wry grin. "I knew you were counting days on your calendar, but I didn't know why. Why did you stop?"

"Because it's time consuming and disappointing, every time I'd find out we weren't."

He was quiet for a long moment. "Annie."

She could see the sympathetic look on his face, but she kept her face turned down. Somehow she found bravery in her cowardice, but she managed to say, "And I think after a while I stopped hoping. It wasn't a conscious decision but I just… stopped."

They were silent for a long, long minute until Erick leaned forward and lifted her chin. His teal eyes were bright. "You're not alone in this. Don't think for one minute that I haven't hoped for that, too. Maybe it'll just take more time for us." He wiped a tear off her cheek with a thumb. "What did Mara say?"

"She said she'll give me some tea and tonics, but… I'm not confident that will help."

"It wouldn't hurt to try, right? Hey." Erick ducked his head so he could meet her eyes. "Annie, we're still young. Twenty-one and twenty-two. We're not-"

"What if…" Adrianna interrupted, causing her heart to lodge into her throat. "What if… we can't?"

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't we?"

"I mean you're right, sometimes it is harder for some couples and it takes a lot of time, but… it is possible for some people to be barren."

"But… you're not, are you?"

"No, Mara says I'm healthy so there shouldn't be any problem. I'm obviously not pregnant though, so there has to be an issue…" Adrianna hedged.

"What if there isn't an issue though?" Erick asked softly. "I can be patient. There's no rush."

"What if there is an issue though?" Adrianna asked. "I mean, I can… I can obviously have kids-"

"Wait." Erick's brows furrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Adrianna took a deep breath. "I'm just saying we have proof that I can get pregnant. But what if I'm not getting pregnant now because you can't have kids?"

There it was. It came out much more flawlessly than she'd expected, and yet, there it was. The house was eerily silent for the longest minute while she watched him process her words.

"You… don't think I can have kids?" Erick asked slowly.

Adrianna pursed her lips and nodded. "It's the most logical explanation."

Erick frowned. "Logical isn't the word I would use."

"Oh?" Adrianna said, crossing her arms. "And what would you call it?"

"Making assumptions." Erick said indignantly. "What if we just haven't gotten pregnant yet because we just haven't gotten pregnant yet? Why are you assuming there is something wrong with me?"

Adrianna sighed. "Because it's easier than having false hope."

Erick's mouth dropped open. "What? You would rather accept the notion that I just can't have kids instead of being patient? Okay, then."

"Sorry I don't have an endless supply of patience like you do."

"Oh trust me, it's running dry." Erick muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Seriously? So after weeks of ignoring me and pushing me away, I come to find out it's all because you've given up. On growing our family, on me." Something in his tone grew sharper at that. "And I'm still supposed to have endless patience when you're being both unkind and unfair."

"Fair?" Adrianna sat up. "What does fair have to do with anything? I never asked for any of this to happen. If I'd had it my way I would've gladly gotten pregnant after Darin's first birthday, but I didn't."

"Yeah, and apparently that's my fault."

"Apparently. It only took once with-" Adrianna broke off, appalled at herself for almost saying the name of the person she hated more than anything, who'd done the most horrible thing imaginable to her.

But it didn't matter as Erick flinched anyway.

Instantly she felt cold with dread. "Oh gods. Erick."

His anger had disappeared instantly, replaced with a mixed look of disbelief and horror. "What?"

Adrianna shook her head and reached for his hand. "Nothing, I-"

Erick pulled his arm away. "How could you even say that?"

"I didn't mean it! I was just angry-"

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" Erick said, abruptly rising to his feet.

"No, of course not!" Adrianna said, jumping up and grabbing his arm. "I… I just meant that because I have had a child, then obviously-"

"I'm well aware that you've conceived a child before, Adrianna." Erick said firmly, dropping his hands from where he'd shoved them into his hair. "I kinda adopted him."

Adrianna felt a rush of anger, though she tried to stamp it out. "Yes, but he's not your biological son, is he? It's not the same."

Erick raised his hands, looking more shocked and frustrated by the second. "What the Hel is that supposed to mean? Since when? We have never made that distinction with Darin!"

"No, and I don't want to. For all intents and purposes, you are Darin's father." Adrianna replied. "But maybe we should start being realistic and stop wishing for things that might not ever happen. We have a son. We should be grateful and just move on."

"Stop shoving your decisions onto me. You're the one choosing to give up, not me."

"Well you can't try without me, so good luck."

"Why are you acting like this?" Erick demanded. "What did I do to you that you are being so… spiteful about this? Are you that upset that I haven't gotten you pregnant or what?"

"I don't know, maybe I'm sick of being disappointed."

Erick went still at that, the expression on his face turning morose. They were standing almost nose to nose as he looked down at her. His teal eyes flicked across her face as the hurt in them built and built, his breath trembling.

Adrianna glanced at his mouth as his jaw clenched and he swallowed hard. She could reach up on her tiptoes to kiss him if she wanted. For some reason, a tiny voice in her head told her to do so. It would be the start of an apology. But it wouldn't be enough to heal the wound she'd dealt him.

"Fine." Erick whispered. "I'll just get out of your way then."

Only the sound of the step-thunk of his mismatched steps interrupted the silence. Adrianna watched as he grabbed a jacket and slipped outside, the door swinging quietly shut behind him. Reeling, Adrianna slid into the closest chair.

That… had not gone well at all.

She'd suspected as much but… she'd said so many horrible things. She'd spoken the truth, maybe not conscious thoughts she'd been holding onto, and regardless of how horrible each one sounded, she wasn't lying. If Erick couldn't have kids, then why should they wish for more than what they had already? They already had a near perfect life, so why wish for disappointment and pain?

Except, that tiny voice said, you've already brought disappointment and pain into it.

Each venomous word she'd said played back in her mind and her stomach gave a painful lurch.

It only took once with…

I'm sick of being disappointed.

The reality of the things she'd said to him washed over her. "Oh gods."

Erick was right. She was being both unkind and unfair. And after everything he'd ever done for her, regardless of those things, all he'd ever wanted was to have a family with her. She'd once promised him she'd never look at him with disdain.

And she'd just stabbed him in the back anyway, promises forgotten.

Leaping to her feet, Adrianna ran outside and spun in a circle in the empty street, looking to see where he'd gone. But he was nowhere in sight. A quick look in the barn showed Lily and Charger both still sleeping in their pens.

Hot tears slipped down her face. "Oh gods, what did I do?"

She couldn't go after him. It would probably take hours to find him and Darin was inside sleeping. She couldn't leave him alone. And yet it was excruciatingly painful to stay, to know that Erick was out here somewhere feeling betrayed and upset and knowing that she was the cause of it.

"I'm sorry." Adrianna said, covering her face. "I'm sorry."

But Erick wasn't there to hear it, and if he had been, he probably wouldn't have wanted to anyway.

Xxx

Erick struck the dummy until hay burst into the air. Jab, duck slice, the fighting movements he'd learned and perfected the last few years turned to muscle memory. And yet it did nothing to temper the emotions coursing through him.

Anger.

Pain.

Betrayal.

Grief.

Despair.

The lid on the box had exploded at last, though for a completely different reason.

How could she do this to him? It wasn't enough that she'd ignored him these weeks and then lied to his face. It was uncanny how the one thing he'd forced himself not to think about that very afternoon was the exact thing that was bothering Adrianna.

But he'd never, ever thought that she'd say those words to him.

All it took was once with...

Maybe I'm just sick of being disappointed.

And with those statements came surging from the back of his mind every worthless thought he'd ever believed about himself. He knew they weren't true, but that didn't stop the thoughts from peppering his mind now as he trashed dummy after dummy in the arena.

It was all too good to be true anyway.

She's too good for you.

She could do so much better.

She's better off without you.

You aren't good enough.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

With a frustrated growl, Erick whipped around to throw one of his knives across the arena at another dummy, and barely managed to not throw it straight into Fearless Finn's chest.

"Whoa!" Finn arms went out. "Gods, didn't you hear me calling you?"

No. He hadn't heard anything above the roaring in his head.

Panting heavily, Erick lowered his arm. "Go away."

Finn's brows shot up as he stalked away. "Hello to you, too. I take it someone's in the dog house?"

"Gods, Finn, I don't want to talk to you or anyone, so just leave me alone."

Erick didn't wait for a response as he began gathering up stray arrows he'd misshot across the arena. Other than his shaking breath and footsteps, he heard nothing, assuming Finn had left. A quick glance out of the corner of his eye showed Finn still standing there, watching him in silence.

Chest burning with quiet rage, Erick ignored him and stepped over a dismembered dummy.

"Erick, what's wrong?"

"What part," Erick said, whipping around, "of 'I don't want to talk to you or anyone' didn't you understand?"

Finn raised his hands in a placating way. "Fine. We don't have to talk. But I'm not leaving you here to hack yourself to pieces alone, alright?"

Without another word he began pulling arrows out of a few nearby dummies and dropped them into a nearby pile.

Though Erick really preferred to be alone, he knew there was wisdom in this, so he said nothing. Plus he'd have more luck draining the ocean than forcing Finn to do otherwise, once his mind was made up. With his luck he probably would have lost a finger or two, what with his throwing weapons around the arena in his fit of rage. But maybe the pain would have been an outlet, so who really cared? It wouldn't be the first time he'd taken a blade to his flesh.

Erick ground to a halt with a choked sort of sound. "Gods."

Finn went still nearby. "What?"

He forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out before dropping his weapons. Disgusted at his inner thoughts, he shook his head. It was interesting, the way his rage disappeared in mere seconds and was replaced with loathing and hatred for not Adrianna's words, but himself.

Even though things had changed so much these last few years, he was still weak.

"Hey, I don't like it when you go all still and quiet. Talk to me."

Erick shook his head. "What was the point?"

"Of… what?"

"Everything. Marrying her, adopting her son, all of it."

Finn went very, very quiet. "What are you talking about? What happened?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Stop it." Finn was suddenly there and shaking him by the shoulders. He hardly felt it. "What do you mean, what was the point? You love her and you love Darin, so why are you doubting that? I need more information if I'm going to properly help."

"Why bother? According to her I'm just a disappointment anyway."

Despite the darkness, Finn's face was clearly pinched with worry. "Look, bruh, I'm not… my parents, or Anna, or even Cliff. I'm not good at this sort of thing. So you're going to have to give me more context."

A tiny voice in his head said to keep pushing Finn away, keep being negative. Maybe he'd get fed up and leave, and then he'd-

With a flash of anger, Erick yanked his weapons belt off his waist. "Take it."

"What?"

"Take every weapon you can see and get them away from me."

Finn stared for a long moment but then he nodded once before obeying. Erick hated himself for having these thoughts, these old temptations to take his pain out on himself, but maybe it wasn't weakness somehow, to ask for help even in this way. Finn seemed to understand it as much.

He surely wouldn't leave Erick to his own devices after this. Not now. And being alone was obviously the last thing Erick needed. Clearly he couldn't trust himself.

Even as Finn cleared the arena of anything sharp that he could find, including his own weapons, Erick hated that Adrianna's words had rocked him so badly. He hadn't wanted to hurt himself in years and yet it was somehow like nothing had changed.

After a while, Finn approached on near silent feet. "That bad?"

"I haven't wanted to hurt myself in years." Erick whispered. He ignored the temptation to look down at his arms, at the white lines that were forever reminders of the pain he'd been through. That he'd put himself through.

"Why do you want to now?"

Finn was the last person he wanted to talk to about this.

"Come on, I can see you trying to shove it aside-"

"She blames me, alright?" Erick said at last, a spark of temper dominating that self-loathing at last. It was quickly diffused. "She blames me."

"For what?"

Erick swallowed. "Kids. We've been trying to have more kids for years and… nothing."

"Ah." Finn said in as neutral a tone as he could muster. "And why would she blame that on you?"

"Does it matter? Point is she's given up and I'm a disappointment, and best of all, it only took her once to get pregnant before, so-"

"Wait, what?" Finn interrupted. "She didn't… actually say that, did she?"

"Yup."

The arena was quiet for a long, long minute as Finn chewed on everything he'd heard.

"Well, that's completely unfair. I mean… Unmarried as I am, I'm no expert, but it takes two to tango. Who says it's your fault? And can't it take a long time anyway?"

"That's what I said, and she'd rather set the blame on me and make assumptions that I can't have kids than be patient."

Finn huffed. "Erick, don't listen to that-"

"What if she's right though?"

"She's not. Well," Finn paused. "I mean, I don't know obviously, but you know how Adrianna gets. She gets upset about something and she tries to come up with an explanation, and once she finds one, she doesn't let it go. And then she lashes out. I'm not saying it's right, but that's how it's always been."

"Yeah, except she called me a disappointment. At least Brandyn gave her what she really wanted." Erick hated the words, but that's essentially what she'd said. Gods, it hurt to breathe, to think. "She once said she'd never look at me with disdain. Now she can hardly look at me at all."

Finn was quiet for a long, long moment. "She hates him more than anything. She would never think you're worth less than him, kids or no."

Erick hated the way his eyes burned but he turned them to Finn anyway. "And if it was you and Gen, it would be so easy?"

"No. Of course not. But I know my sister. She loves you and that little kid, more than anything. For lack of a better word, you were her dream. Don't give up on her because she screwed up." Finn added to himself, "Mind you, big screw up, one that will soon be rectified, I assure you. But I know you too. You beat yourself up to this day as if you're not good enough, and it's not true."

"What if she's right?"

"You have the opportunity to raise Darin regardless, because last I checked, you are his dad."

Erick tried not to, but his eyes burned further.

"Ah bruh, stop that." Finn suddenly pulled him into an awkward half sort of bear hug. He then patted Erick's head and gave a half-hearted, "There, there."

Erick burst into chuckles, tears and all. "Gods, you really suck at this."

"I really do."

Shoving Finn back a step, Erick dragged his shirt up over his face and scrubbed it roughly. "No, but seriously, thanks."

Finn nodded. "Everyone gets one 'free cry and comfort session with Finn' for life. So far only you, Anna and Cliffie have cashed in on the deal. The parents birthed me so they get a lifelong supply, as does my future bride. I'm surprised you held out this long. My sister made me cry with frustration on more than one occasion."

"Do the witticisms never end?"

"It's a trademark of Fearless Finn Enterprises. What can I say? At least I'm consistent."

Erick sighed and rubbed his face. He needed to go home and yet…

As if reading his thoughts, Finn said, "Why don't you crash at my house tonight?"

"Isn't that bad form?"

"Not in my book." Finn said. "I mean it might be, but maybe it'll shake her down to her boots a bit."

"Isn't that cruel?" Erick asked. "I haven't stayed away from her for a night since we got married. Excluding trips."

"It's up to you, but I know you." Finn said with a shrug. "Either put on a brave face and try to cope all night, or take a night to yourself. My door's open. Do you want to leave your weapons here?"

Erick pondered this. Though his heart still hurt, he already felt a little better after talking things out with Finn. He could fight the temptation. "No, I'll take them with me. It will be a pain to retrieve them tomorrow. Besides, someone will probably steal my good Hjartan steel."

Finn smirked and nodded. "It's only the finest."

Erick trudged out of the arena with Finn and made quick work of his weapons belt and quiver. Sighing, he met Finn at the metal gates. "I think I will crash at your place tonight. I'll probably feel guilty for it later, but…"

"Hey, Taryn kicked Cliff out a few months ago because she'd had enough of his… what was it… 'constant jabbering worse than a Terror on Sunday'? Something like that. At any rate, having a Cliff Smedley knocking on your door at two in the morning saying 'I have nowhere else to go' is quite annoying, so I'd rather just set you up before I go to bed."

"Fair enough."

Finn glanced over at Erick and threw an arm over his shoulder. "Everything will be fine, bruh."

Erick nodded, but didn't feel the sentiment. He'd never been betrayed by Adrianna so thoroughly before. Her words still echoed through his mind and into his heart, cutting deep, just as his knives once did on his wrists.

No, ignore that. Finn was right, everything would be fine. Maybe. Hopefully.

Tomorrow was a new day. Maybe she would sleep her frustration off and so would he. Maybe tomorrow morning they would fix things. Somehow he doubted it. After all, she'd been ignoring him for weeks, possibly months.

How long had she been having these thoughts? How long had she been dissatisfied with him? How long had he been a disappointment to her?

A headache pulsed behind his eyes and he sighed through his nose, matching Finn's long strides as his house soon came into view. A chirp of greeting split the night as Zap scrambled out of her pen to greet them.

Erick hardly felt the brush of her warm, fishy breath on his face. He just wanted to close his eyes and forget.

But in the silence of darkness many hours later, he could still hear her voice, still see the anger in her green eyes, still hear that tempting voice, sharp and cold as steel.

When the sun split the horizon at dawn, his blade met skin.

Things are definitely heating up, though I wasn't as involved in this chapter. Bit busy with game stuff, for which 2 chapters are finally completed! That is the best feeling ever.

Join us on the Discord to discuss this further! And don't forget to leave a review!

~Katie