ChatDEKU

Mina's head hit her desk. "Izuku, please? My brain can't take any more."

"You have written twelve words in the past forty-seven minutes. At your current pace, you will have the assignment done in three weeks, six days, four hours, and forty-six point seven minutes. That is overdue by-"

"I get it!" Mina roared. "Can't you write some for me?"

"Absolutely not. Students must complete their own assignments. It's in the student handbook, part three, section twelve."

While Mina groaned and resigned herself to more academic drudgery, Kaminari dug through his own battered, neglected handbook. "Hey, Izuku. The handbook doesn't say that you can't assist us."

"I cannot complete any part of your assignment. I am, however, more than happy to provide motivational support and free cancer screenings."

"That's nice and all, but could you provide us a hypothetical example of a completed assignment? Seeing what it's supposed to look like when finished would give us inspiration to complete it ourselves."

Izuku reviewed the entirety of the student handbook, along with U.A.'s faculty regulations, Japanese academic law, and the U.N. charter. "I see no problem with your suggestion. Provided, of course, you remain in compliance of all local, national, and international law."

"Of course." Kaminari put a hand over his heart. "Scout's honor."

Izuku narrowed his eyes at him and scanned him with every lie detection software accessible to him. "Hmm… okay then!" Izuku printed a sheet of paper out of his mouth. "Here you go!"

Kaminari greedily took the form. "Thanks a bunch! I'm going to examine this extensively in my own room and create an assignment that is completely my original work."

As Kaminari sprinted fast enough to raise dust, Mina raised her hand. "Can I have a hypo… hypocritical paper too?"

"It would be entirely hypocritical of me not to give you an example assignment too."

Mina snatched the printed paper and stared in confusion. "It's blank."

"And therefore hypocritical."

Mina crumpled it up. "Ugh, fine, can I have what you gave Kaminari?"

"Of course."

"Thanks bestie! Time to definitely do all the work myself and only use this fully complete assignment for inspiration. Bye!"

The next day, Mina and Kaminari eagerly awaited their homework assignments. Aizawa slapped two fat zeroes on their desks.

"What! Come on, I know it's perfect!"

"Exactly. I ran these tests through a plagiarism detection algorithm."

He gestured at Izuku, who waved back at them. "I detected ninety-nine point seven percent of the text from the hypothetical assignment I gave you in the essays you submitted. That seems like an incredible coincidence considering you both wrote the assignments by yourselves like you promised.

Aizawa loomed over them both. "You want to know what gave yourselves away, aside from both papers being nearly identical and word choice beyond anything I know either of you are capable of?" He leaned in close and said, "Both your papers were about waffles."

Mina and Kaminari both glared at Izuku. Izuku asked, "What? I like waffles."

499

Did I write this drabble using ChatGPT? Have I been a self-learning program masquerading as a fanfiction author this entire time? Will Izuku get his waffles? The world may never know.