Chapter V : Home

Tw - Suicidal Idealization [ It's not very graphic ] / Sexual Assault [ Forced Kiss ]

Present

It wasn't about Edward, it would never be about him, Bella could live her whole life and never see Edward again, and she'd be fully content to live happily ever after, because a part of her knew, she never needed Edward to be happy.

This was about her sisters, her mother, her brothers, her family, all that she truly had, Charlie never really made an effort to get to know her, he was more like a younger roommate that needed food from time to time rather than a long distant father that's finally got time with his daughter, he was never around, and she understood that he was a cop, but even when he was around, he didn't care.

Months had gone by, and she lost herself more and more, she didn't smile, she couldn't feel.

She stopped talking to her friends, spent her lunchtime outside under a tree staring out at the woods, a part of her hoped that she'd see Victoria bounding out of them with a wide smile, with Rose just behind her happy as ever with Alice and Emmett coming after them with childish pouts on their faces, but she knew that would never be the case.

Bella lost all light in her eyes, all effort really, she woke up, went to school, came home, and slept until she could wake up and feel less pain than what she felt when she was awake before.

And that's when Jacob started coming around, he helped Bella, built her back up slowly by just coming over and talking, or sometimes just sitting next to her while she stared off into whatever was in front of her.

Bella felt bad she knew Jacob had a crush on her, but she didn't have the heart to break his, knowing that she might lose her best and only friend if she did that, she knew it was selfish, but she made sure to never give him any idea's, they were friend's, and she needed a friend badly.

[X]

Cliff diving, what an interesting hobby, Bella thought it looked stupid and dangerous, but some crazy rebellious part of her wanted to do it, felt like it would be cool, maybe she'd feel free, floating along with the waves, with her eyes shut, and her heartbeat steady.

Sitting on the cliff with her legs hanging off the ledge, Bella took a deep breath and looked down at the waves crashing against the bottom of the cliff, and wondered if maybe she was the cliff.

The ocean, was constantly in motion, moving back and forth, pushing itself to do more, and then there was this cliff, the gigantic cliff, that stopped the ocean and pushed it back in the opposite direction, stopping its motion, yet the ocean keeps coming back, maybe that's how they saw her, maybe she was the cliff to their immortal ocean, but all she wanted to do was be a part of them.

Bella shook her head sadly and stood up scooting away from the ledge before she ran away from it in a full sprint, if she had looked around, she would have seen Jacob watching her in confusion, she was going to be a part of them, if it was the last thing she ever did , she thought as she turned back and ran towards the cliff as fast as she could.

And threw herself off of it.

[X]

She finally understood it, the mysterious fascination behind cliff diving, she could she her family, everyone like they were watching her, checking to see if she was okay before she crashed into the water.

This was it, Bella had decided before she jumped that this was the way she wanted to leave the world, peacefully, floating, she felt like she was home, in the living room, while Esme was cooking, Alice and Victoria we're annoying Rose, Jasper and Emmett were playing chess while Emmett clearly cheated, but Jasper let him out of love.

And they looked at her which such caring smiles, there was someone next to her, she didn't know who, but they held her hand as their head laid on her shoulder, she couldn't turn her head to see whoever it was, but she just knew it was right, it felt safe, it felt perfect, it felt like home.

Bella closed her eyes and let the air she was holding in her mouth out.

Because this was as close to home as she'd ever be again.

[X]

Spitting out water she sat up quickly looking around confused, realizing she was sitting in her house on the floor.

"What the fuck Jacob."

"No what the fuck Bella."

Bella looked at Jacob confused before she remembered what she had done and looked at the boy sheepishly.

"I thought you fucking died." Jacob said pushing her shoulder lightly, before anymore could be said the phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

Bella watched as Jacob scoffed with an eye roll.

"Yeah no, we're preparing for a funeral now isn't a great time." he said before he slammed the phone down and went back to Bella.

"I don't know if you noticed this Jacob but I'm alive?"

"I know the funeral is for somebody else it's-"

"Who was on the phone Jacob?"

"I'm only asking cause you seem so angry, whoever it was it's cool, i just hope they don't think i'm dead or something."

Jacob looked away from Bella with his jaw tight, before he turned back to her with his eyes darker than before.

"Bella, he doesn't matter, okay? He left you and now I'm here, and I just saved your life so why don't you do something smart for once and choose me?" Bella looked at Jacob like he had two heads as he rambled on and on before placing her hand on his face effectively silencing him.

"Smart for once- you know what whatever that's not important tell me now Jacob." Bella said as she stepped away from Jacob slightly, the look in his eyes making her uncomfortable.

"Who. Was. On. The. Phone."

"Edward."

"Oh. What did he want?"

"Wanted to know if you were alive, but Bells it doesn't matter, he doesn't matter we matter, me and you, us together." Jacob said as he gripped Bella's face and pulled it to his pressing his lips against hers.

Bella pushed against his chest so hard she fell onto the floor and scooted away from Jacob.

"What the hell Jacob back off." Jacob shook his head as he smiled at Bella scooting closer, as she backed further away from the boy.

"Didn't you feel that, Bella? It felt like sparks."

"No Jacob I didn't feel what you felt what I do feel is violated." Bella said as she moved away from Jacob putting more space between them.

"I want you gone."

"Bella, you don't mean that-"

"NO. You don't get to tell me what I do and don't mean, get the fuck out Jacob."

Jacob ran out the door muttering about how he would be back when she had cooled down as Bella got up and grabbed the phone redialing the latest call, and sighing when it went to voicemail, she slammed the phone against the wall in anger as a knock sounded at the door, she stopped over angrily and tugging it open.

"When I said I wanted you gone I meant it Jacob so fuck of-"

"Alice?"

This chapter wasn't changed tooooo much because i actually liked the way it was written originally, i only added a few words, and changed a few more, next chapter is ofcourse the Bellice reunion, and the arrival in Italy which i will be changing around a little bit but not much, maybe a slightly deeper explanation of the cullens leaving, and a better reunion with the rest of the fam.

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- Briar 3