CHAPTER 8

It's a shot in the dark

I'm not a walk in the park

I come loaded with the safety switched off

~ Halsey, Girl is a Gun

BPOV

As soon as the alarm went off, Alistair was moving. He switched on the security feed, so the sixty-inch television in the living room was divided into twelve different views of the property. My attention zeroed in on the sleek car that slowed to a stop in the driveway. The footage was black and white and a little grainy, but even through the screen it was clear the car was expensive and sleek. The kind that filled my garage at home.

It crossed my mind for a moment, that it could be anyone in that car. Especially when I saw Alistair's hand inch toward the weapon I knew he had stashed haphazardly in his jeans. But I had been in love with Edward Cullen since I was twenty-one-years-old and would know the man anywhere. All it took was a graceful leg sliding out of the car and the motion of a hand anxiously tugging at the head of hair inside and I knew.

Alistair shouted after me as I darted for the front door, but I was already working my way through the lock. I was halfway down the steps of the porch by the time Edward had exited the car completely. I heard his breath get knocked out of him as I collided with his chest, but it didn't stop his arms from instantly surrounding me.

"Everyone is okay," he said immediately. "Everyone is safe." My lungs emptied out in a huff, nearly four weeks of constant anxiety flooding out of my system as I sagged against my husband.

"Are you okay?" I gasped, adrenaline making my hands shake as I grasped him tighter.

"Yes," he breathed out, arms tightening around my waist. "I'm… so fucking sorry, Bella."

I shook my head against his shoulder. I had my questions, lists and lists of them floating around in my mind. I would get to them eventually, and I knew the anger and frustration at getting shipped off without any explanation would come with them.

But the one constant in my life had always been Edward. He was the one person I could talk to about anything, the one person who understood me more than I understood myself. And spending weeks in limbo without him, weeks not knowing where he was or what he was doing or if he was safe had stretched every nerve I had too thin.

Weeks of not knowing if my son and granddaughter were okay had wrecked my nervous system, sent my entire body into fight or flight mode when I couldn't do either of those things.

So instead of jumping into questioning him, I stood in the driveway with my husband for as long as my body needed to stop shaking. I only noticed the rain when Edward wrapped his hands around my thighs and carried me into the house a few seconds before the downpour started.

Edward sat us down on the couch, arms tightening around me when I moved to get off of him. "Not yet."

Instead of finding my own seat, I settled myself in his lap. Pulling away only a few inches to get a good look at him. My fingers trailed through his hair, scratching at his scalp before cupping his cheeks with a few days worth of scruff prickling my palms.

"What happened?"

Edward sighed, fingers digging into my thighs before he told me about the night he called a Code Black. About the family, the O'Malley's, who had decided they were tired of their tiny town in Ireland and wanted to take over Chicago. The nine-digit bounty that had been put on my head, triple what it had been when I was shot years ago.

"Did you… solve the problem?" I asked, flinching at my own choice of words. No matter how long I had been married to the man I hadn't quite figured out the best way to ask if he had murdered someone.

"Not yet. Aengus is too clever for a simple bullet to suffice."

"Oh," I sighed, the small kernel of hope I had let bubble in my chest deflating. "So I have to stay here?"
"No. I've… sent my message loud and clear to him and every other fucker in the country who went after that money."

I frowned. "How?"

"By personally tearing apart anyone who so much as thought about going after you," he said bluntly.

A normal woman would probably pause at their husband blatantly admitting to violently murdering an undisclosed amount of people in the last few weeks. I, however, had some faulty wiring in my brain that meant it made me squirm uncomfortably in his lap and wish he was wearing less clothing.

"O'Malley is still a threat. Still a pain in my ass that I have to deal with. There's going to be more security; around you, the house, everywhere. But I think it's time you come home."

I let out a breath, relief flooding my veins before I finally kissed my husband. His hands dug into my waist until he pulled away far too soon with a grunt.

"There is a lot of other shit that went down while you were gone. Lawrence–"

"Is anybody I care about dead or dying?"

"No."

"Then it can wait."

I had more problems than I knew what to do with. And I still had a lot of questions about the last few weeks, but I wouldn't be able to get rid of the nagging uncertainty in my gut until I had him. Until every thought in my brain had been erased by firm hands and breathless kisses. I couldn't care about what Lawrence was doing or what Aengus O'Malley had planned until my mind, body, and soul had relaxed back into my husband.

I pressed a quick, hard kiss to his lips before I remembered Alistair was somewhere in the house. I hopped off of his lap, grumbling to myself, and grabbed his hand to drag him upstairs to my–our–bedroom.

A fantasy I hadn't let myself have in the past few weeks formed in my head on the short walk to the room. I would get him on the bed and taste every inch of skin I had been missing. Get him to moan my name with his cock in my mouth until it made up for the weeks I had spent without hearing it.

My back slammed against the bedroom door as Edward snapped it shut, my fantasy distracting me until I was met with dark forest eyes with a surprising amount of rage behind them.

It was a rage I was familiar with. It wasn't directed at me, but I was always more than happy to let him work it out on me. Edward had a stressful life; a career that was based on bloodshed and a temper to go with it. And there were very few things that fueled that anger as much as my safety being threatened.

I had yet to find anything that helped him burn off the fury as well as a good, hard fuck.

Without a word I pulled his shirt open, not caring about the tinkering of buttons as they scattered to the ground. A gasp got caught in my throat as I pushed the clothing to the ground. Inked into his shoulder was a snake; slithering along his bicep and across his shoulder with stark, black scales against his skin. My fingers shook as they traced the tattoo, traveling along the curved reptile until I got to one end and then traveling back down again.

"What's it for?" I asked, not bothering to hide the fact that just the sight of the tattoo had me squirming.

"You."

My lips twitched with a smile as I finally tore my gaze away from the new ink and back up to him. "I want one."

A sinister smirk pulled at Edward's mouth. "As soon as we get home."

His lips fell to mine in a bruising kiss, his hands working diligently on tearing every scrap of clothing off of my body. I was naked underneath him, pressed into the soft bed I had slept in alone for far too long and gasping for breath as his teeth sank into my shoulder. "You're mine."

"Always," I gasped, biting my lip against a moan as his fingers trailed down the length of my body until they settled between my legs. "I've always been yours."

I felt him smile against my skin as he pressed kisses down my neck and across my collarbone until his teeth sank into my nipple. I whimpered with every lick and bite and thrust of his fingers.

I was right on the edge of a quick release when his lips brushed against my ear. "I'd kill any fucker that tried to take you from me."

The words would horrify most women, but they had me coming on his fingers as he said them. Because I would do the same for him. Had done the same for him.

I fumbled with his belt, impatiently shoving his pants away until he was deliciously naked. My hand went to his cock as soon as it was free, pumping him until he pulled my wrist away.

"I want you in my mouth," I mumbled against a demanding kiss.

"Later," he grunted, sliding inside of me until we let out matching moans. "Fuck, I missed you."

His words were soft, but his body wasn't. His fingers dug into my thighs and hips hard enough to bruise. His palms trailed up my abdomen, fingers tweaking my nipples until I had to shove them away.

"Please," I whined as his hips slowed as he repositioned us back to the center of the bed. "Don't stop."

"Never," he groaned, leaning over me and not stopping until my own orgasm had my legs shaking and he came inside me with a groan I committed to memory.

When you had been married for a few decades, words weren't always necessary. Our shower was silent, but comfortable. I paid extra attention to the stark new tattoo on Edward's shoulder and his hands pressed into every inch of me as if he were constantly making sure I wasn't hurt.

It wasn't until we were back in bed that words were needed again, both of us seeming to wait for the other to burst our tiny, happy bubble.

"Aiden got arrested last week."

My eyes widened, probably to comical sizes. "For what?"

"Assaulting a photographer."

I winced. The good thing about Chicago was that photographers only hounded me there if there was a big enough price on a photo of me. In Los Angeles there were photographers ready to pounce around every corner, but Chicago was supposed to be a safer place. Especially for Aiden. Ever since he was a baby I had been petrified of photographers going after him.

"I got all of the charges dropped."

My voice got stuck in my throat as I asked, "Is he okay?"

Edward nodded, reaching over to lift my chin up. "He's fine. They barely had time to fingerprint him before I bailed him out."

"So he was never actually…"

"No. He wasn't."

I pressed my lips together, blinking back a few unshed tears. Because I had been in a tiny jail cell for months on end and the thought of my son in one made me nauseous. "Alistair told me I have a lot of repressed trauma."

Edward's eyes softened. "I know."

"You guys talked about it?"

"No," he clarified quickly. "But, I know you. You've been through a lot of shit, Bella."

"I knew the trial left me… broken. Even now I still don't like being forced inside for too long or too much pressure around my wrists. But I–"

I hesitated, feeling like a complete idiot even admitting it outloud. "I knew the industry was fucked. Even back when I was starting I knew. But I thought–I thought I beat the game. I thought I got out relatively unscathed. I know I have my issues but I just… I don't know. It was stupid of me to not realized how fucked up I am. And I don't really know what to do with it."

Firm fingers gripped my chin, forcing my attention up. "You're not stupid and you're not fucked up."

"You're a little biased, Edward."

Anger flashed in his eyes. "Trauma doesn't make you fucked up, Bella. Not unless you let it win, and you've never let it win."

I shook my head. "Just because I'm too stubborn to let people win doesn't mean–"

"It means everything."

I scrubbed my hands over my face, exhaustion weighing my limbs down. I hadn't slept more than a few hours at a time in the last few weeks. And even though I had some answers and reassurance, there were still plenty of things to worry about.

"I'm tired," I sighed, pulling the comforter around my shoulders and pressing myself as close to Edward as I could. It couldn't have been a full minute before I was asleep.

–Love|Power–

The bed was empty when I woke up. I mumbled Edward's name, assuming he was in the bathroom but I got nothing back. Grumbling to myself, I pulled on a soft robe from the closet and trudged through the house until I heard movement in the basement. I found him sitting on the piano bench, eyes scanning the mess of papers scattered along the lid.

I sat beside him silently, wrapping my arm through his and resting my head on his shoulder. "Come back to bed."

"This is what you do with it," Edward said softly, picking up one of the many papers with lyrics scribbled frantically on it.

"With what?"

"Your trauma. It's what you've always done with it, how you've survived it. From the time you were nineteen."

I shrugged against him. "I guess so."

"Are you going to make this?" I looked over at him, at the bright eyes and the pride that seemed to be radiating off of him as he read every page.

"I don't know. I didn't really plan on it. I just… needed something to do while I was here."

Edward scoffed. "Only you would write an Academy Award winning film because you were bored."

I snorted. "It hasn't won anything."

"Yet. Will you play some of it for me?"

I pressed a kiss to his cheek and grabbed the page from his hand.

I'm not your problem anymore

So who am I offending now?

You were my crown, now I'm in exile, seeing you out

I think I've seen this film before

So I'm leaving out the side door

–Love|Power–

The sizzling of the batter as I poured it onto the pan filled the silent house. Surprisingly silent house, considering the caravan that escorted Edward and I home last night. Or this morning.

He told me there would be more security, but the half a dozen black SUV's that were waiting on the airstrip seemed like a bit of overkill to me. It had been three in the morning when we landed though and I hadn't had it in me to be upset about it. I was also usually hesitant to be upset about any time Edward told me I needed more security considering the one time I had put up a fight with it I ended up bleeding on a red carpet.

I knew a lot of those men were stationed across our property, guarding exits and back roads and were probably aware of every breath I took. It would be disconcerting if I hadn't gotten used to it a few decades ago. It was also why I wasn't concerned when I heard the front door swing open or the heavy footsteps down the hall.

"What–what are you doing here?" Aiden gasped, rounding the corner and freezing in the doorway.

My smile was instant, eyes immediately scanning over him to make sure he was in one piece. "I live here."

Aiden rolled his eyes as I rounded the counter and wrapped my arms around him. He was far too large to have an ounce of my genes, but he leaned down enough for me to press a kiss to his cheek without straining up.

Our identical questions came out at the same time. "Are you okay?"

"You first," I said, frowning down at the now-burnt batch of pancakes. Cooking had never been my thing, but I could handle something simple like pancakes. Usually.

Aiden let out a sigh, flopping himself in the stool across from me. "I'm okay. We just went back to the townhouse yesterday. Dad didn't tell me he was getting you," he grumbled, obvious frustration wrinkling his forehead. "Dad didn't tell me anything about where you were."

I chewed on my bottom lip, plating a couple perfectly golden brown pancakes and sliding them toward Aiden. "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't even really know where I was either."

"It doesn't," he mumbled, mouth full of pancakes.

Turning the pan off, I put the multitude of pancakes I had made on the center of the island. They would disappear within the hour when there was a shift change for security. Leaning against the counter beside Aiden, I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him a sympathetic smile.

"As annoying as it is, your father usually makes the right call in these kinds of situations. Last time I fought him on it I got shot three times."

Aiden grunted through his pancakes. "I wasn't trying to fight him. I just wanted to know where you were. What if–"

"Another annoying trait your father has is an unhealthy amount of backup plans for every what if," I told him, giving him a few minutes to work through his anger. Edward and Aiden had a complicated relationship. Edward was his boss in the very unsettling way a mafia boss was in charge of everyone. But he was also his father. And he also fought against ever turning into his own father.

"I'm glad you're back," Aiden sighed eventually. "I've never seen Dad so… enraged before."

I nodded. I knew every side of Edward, including the one Aiden was talking about. When he told me he personally tore apart anyone who thought about hurting me there wasn't a doubt in my mind that he was telling me the complete truth.

"No, I've seen it before. But I never felt the same way. Never understood it as much or… appreciated how hard he's had to work to keep all of us safe. It's a lot different than what I used to think his job was."

It had taken Aiden a long time to come to terms with who our family was and what they did. And I always felt guilty for it, thought maybe if he had always known it would have been easier on him. It was nice to know he understood more now.

"How are Ella and Adeline?"

"Adeline is… busy with work." Before I could ask why she was so busy, Aiden went into heavy detail on everything Ella had done in the last few weeks. And while I loved every picture of her dimpled face that he showed me, I also knew he was deflecting something. He made a hasty exit after that, not bothering to do whatever it was he had planned on doing when he showed up here and found me in the kitchen.

I heated up a plate of pancakes and syrup and found Edward fast asleep, his body taking up a majority of the king sized bed. Setting the plate on his bedside table I left him to rest and headed for the shower. It wasn't long before warm arms wrapped around my waist from behind.

"Thank you for breakfast," he sighed, lips pressed against my bare shoulder.

"You're welcome." I had to grab his hand as it started to slide down my abdomen. "Heidi, Kate, and Claire will be here in an hour."

Edward had tried to tell me everything that happened with Lawrence while I was out of town, but I wanted the day to enjoy the fact that one of my problems had been partially solved. I texted Kate from Edward's phone and asked her to have everyone meet me at the house this morning. I'd get a more unbiased version of events from them, anyway.

"I can do a lot in an hour."

–Love|Power–

The four of us sat clustered together at one end of the eighteen-person dining table. I knew it was bad. Before any of them walked in looking like they hadn't slept in days and before they all went completely silent as we sat down.

I told them I wanted to know everything, told them I didn't want my feelings spared. As we hit the forty-five minute mark of them detailing everything Lawrence had done since this whole thing started, I regretted not asking them to spare my feelings.

I never broke. I sat there and listened to every lie Lawrence had spread about me over the last few months. I watched clips of myself being interrogated by the FBI and I watched as other actors and musicians agreed wholeheartedly with Lawrence that I was a menace to society.

Even as Heidi hesitantly told me about how he poached the masters to an unreleased EP I had recorded before I was signed to a label I kept my composure. Because at a certain point, you just become numb. When everything–every single fucking thing–had been ruined, nothing hurt you anymore.

Until you reached the point where devastation turned to rage.

"Four days ago," Claire started, swallowing as she fumbled with the papers in front of her. "Four days ago Lawrence, along with Colton Shay and Duncan Zane, finalized their purchase of the streaming service where Welcome to the Badlands, Hopeless Kingdom, and reputation are available. They removed them from the platform immediately."

"Excuse me?" I gasped, ears ringing loud enough for me to convince myself I had misheard her. With every new subject they brought up I had felt the knife in my back twist. This one had finally hit my spine.

"We had just reupped the contract for another five years. They own the streaming rights until then. Adeline has been looking for a loophole."

"The loophole," I said, my voice smooth and even through my anger. "Is that that fucker Collins has promised me every goddamn year for the last ten that he would come to me before he ever sold the company."

I took Rupert Collins out to lunch every fucking year and every time he told me the same thing; he would inevitably sell the company and when that happened, I got first dibs. It was why I never hesitated in giving the company exclusive access to my work. Because one day, I would own it.

I always prided myself on being able to keep a hold on my emotions when necessary, but there was nothing to stop the crack in my voice when I looked over at Kate and asked, "They're gone?"

Her voice was equally as devastated. "I'm sorry."

An overwhelming sense of deja vu washed over me. I had been here before; betrayed and seemingly pushed aside by the industry. It was so much worse this time, but it was the same empty, hollow feeling I had when I got home and realized I had signed away my right to act for a year when I was nineteen.

I had nothing then. I had no label or production company, no inkling that the project that was so clear in my mind would ever work out. I had even less now; a label and production company that wanted nothing to do with me and a former confidant that knew far too much.

I knew too much, too. Something everyone always forgot.

All three women jumped when I pushed away from the table. Edward was in his office, surrounded by Aiden and Emmett and Jasper. All four heads popped up in shock as I flung the door open.

"I need to go downtown. Now."

Edward nodded. "Give my men half an hour to get ready." He knew the answer to his question before he asked. I saw the sinister smirk tugging at his lips as he sat back in his chair, crossing his hands in his lap. "What are you going to do?"

"Take everyone down with me."

"Give us a minute," Edward told everyone, all of them immediately getting up and filing out the room. Each of them gave my shoulder a squeeze with a sympathetic smile.

I took a seat across from Edward, sitting back in the chair and crossing my arms over my chest. "Are you going to try and talk me out of it?"

"No. I just want you to have all of the information." He pulled out a grainy photo. It was black and white and blurry but simple enough to make out. Two men in the corner of what I had to guess was a restaurant. Smiling with bottles of beer in their hand.

One was Lawrence. I didn't recognize the other.

"That's Aengus O'Malley. He was a silent investor with Lawrence, Shay, and Zane."

I grabbed the photo to get a closer look. Studied O'Malley's dark greasy hair and the pairs matching cocky smiles. For weeks I had been depressed. Sad beyond belief at what I thought was the closest thing I had to a father stabbing me in the back. Scared of some unknown threat against me and my family.

It was amazing how quickly that sadness could change into pure, undiluted rage.

"Are you saying I shouldn't do anything? Because of O'Malley?"

"No," Edward said firmly, leaning toward me across his desk. "I just wanted you to know. Retaliating against Lawrence now also makes you a major player in this. More than just a target."

I nodded, mostly to myself as I put the picture back on his desk. Doing nothing was no longer an option. As much as I wished I was the kind of person who could sit back and silently take whatever punches I rightfully deserved, I wasn't. I needed the last word. Needed to win.

And while that was, evidently, a trait I had picked up after years of trauma regarding my career, it was still there nagging at my brain. Would be until I did something about it.

"You take care of O'Malley," I told him. "I'll take care of Lawrence."

–Love|Power–

The lobby had evidently warned everyone of my arrival. A few of the other label executives were waiting for me as the elevator doors slid open, but I was quick to brush past them on my way onto the floor.

I turned toward two of the men Edward had lent me for the outing. "Clear out my office of any personal items, please. And take any plaques from the walls with my name on them."

"Bella," Dan bane-of-my-existence Meyers hissed as I walked through the halls of the office, looking for one door in particular. "We need to talk. The board–"

"The board isn't my problem anymore. My shares of the company are being sold back to Peter Clark as we speak." I saw Olivia's name printed on the last door to the left, knocking quickly before I stuck my head in. "Would you like a new job with me?"

She masked her surprise well, only hesitating for a few seconds. "Yes."

"Good. Pack up your things. We're leaving in ten."

"You can't just march in here and poach employees, Isabella. There's a right way to do things. You can't–"

"Fuck off, Dan," I sighed, eying a plaque with my face on it in the conference room. The black and white album cover for reputation sat in the center, surrounded by ten silver records. Diamond. Ten million copies sold. More by now.

Dan did not fuck off and followed me as I headed toward the plaque. "Those belong to the label. The masters–"

"Are mine."

He couldn't hide the way the color drained from his face. We both knew my work brought in a large majority of the profits for the label. His tone quickly changed. "Bella, we can talk. This…"

I stopped listening, instead watching as Ryan, one of the men Edward sent with me, carefully removed the heavy frame and hauled it off.

It was always how it went. Men tried to exert their power over me, I didn't take it, and then they expected me to compromise. It was a game I had been playing since I was sixteen. Because we had a symbiotic relationship then. They needed me just as much as I needed them. I couldn't put out an album if a label wasn't going to back it and I couldn't afford to put out a movie without the early support of a streaming service or production company.

Even with Badlands I had to play by their rules. And I had been doing it my entire career.

Not anymore.

We were in the office less than twenty minutes, but it was long enough for the caravan of paparazzi that had swarmed Chicago to show up. For the first time since I was twenty I threw them a large smile as I got into the car.

A/N: Sorry about the delay on this one. I had a death in the family and while we weren't close it still messes with you for a while. I do hope you enjoyed this chapter, though! Lyrics italicized in the middle of the chapter are from exile by Taylor Swift.

Also, as always, I do have songs in mind for that stolen set Lawrence bought. I posted a playlist on my twitter (fragilefanfic) if you wanna check them out!