CHAPTER 12

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

~ Taylor Swift, my tears ricochet

EPOV

"Do you have a minute?" Bella poked her head in my office. She had her hair piled on top of her head, an old tour t-shirt that had seen better days sliding off of her shoulder and black leggings covering up skin I was far too familiar with.

"For you? Always." I motioned to the chair across from me and Bella quickly sat down. Too quickly, because it was immediately followed by her fingers tugging at the frayed edge of her t-shirt.

"I have a couple things to ask you."

I nodded. "Okay."

"You can say no. I know you're busy."

"Just ask, Bella."

"You said you wanted to watch all the footage Kate had. Or some of it."

"I did."

"I–I have a director. For the documentary. She's good and I trust her because I can't do it myself. But I… I also don't necessarily want her seeing everything everything, you know? And I–I'm an executive producer for the documentary but I'm scared I'm still going to… edit myself too much. Just out of habit."

I nodded again, giving her the time she obviously needed to get her thoughts together.

"I was wondering if you wanted to be an EP for the documentary. If you would go through the footage and–"

"I'd be honored," I told her quickly.

The surprise instantly widened her eyes. "It's a lot of work. There's a lot of footage and meetings and you can't just shoot people if they make you mad."

A small chuckle bubbled up in my throat. "I know, Bella." She still looked adorably confused at my immediate agreement. "I wanted to watch the footage in the first place because I love you and I wanted to see those little moments of your life before I ever knew you. I truly would be honored to be an executive producer on your documentary, because I know you don't hand out titles like that for nothing. I promise not to shoot anybody, even if they make me mad."

Bella nodded, curling her legs up underneath her and picking at her nails until she quietly breathed out, "I'm nervous."

"About the documentary?"

"No. Well, yes, but that's not what I was talking about. I had one more question."

I waited, but the question never came. As much as I enjoyed my wife's company, I could tell whatever her next question was was eating at her, making her stall. "Have you ever asked me for anything or to do something and I refused?"

Surprise froze the worry in its tracks. "Well–no."

"So why are you so nervous?"

"Because I had this… idea for my film and I wasn't sure if you'd be interested in it or not."

"And what was your idea?"

Bella took a deep breath, stopping her fidgeting as those deep brown eyes finally met mine. "I want you in it."

–Love|Power–

I sat down at the desk in Bella's office. Her setup had changed a few times over the years, depending on what she was working on. Now, she had quite the editing setup–multiple monitors and keyboards, her laptop propped up off to the side and Kate's stack of hard drives neatly lined up for me off to the side.

I wasn't sure if Bella had watched any of them. They looked mostly untouched, but maybe she had just tried not to mess up the system Kate had going, attempting to keep everything as chronological as possible.

The house was quiet, Bella having cleared her day to spend it with Ella before she got too busy to drop everything and watch our granddaughter on a whim like usual.

Letting out a breath, I twisted the first drive between my fingers for a moment before powering on the computers in front of me and plugging it in.

"It's my first day on set," Bella said. Bella, who was sixteen with bright, excited but scared eyes. She sat in a makeup trailer, fumbling with her phone in her lap. There was a script on the counter in front of her, dozens of tabs sticking out from between the pages. "My first day on any set. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing."

Christ, she was young. She was young when I met her, only twenty, but it was obvious that the first few years of acting had taken its toll on the teenager on the screen. Because the woman I met had tattoos littering her arms, a perfectly crafted public smile on her lips, and not an ounce of fear to be found on her in a room full of people.

This girl was innocent. Nervous but excited for the job in front of her. She had no fucking idea what she was getting into.

"Fuck," I breathed out, pausing the video. I had dismembered more people than I could remember without a moment of hesitation. Thirty seconds into these videos and I could feel my heart beating too fast in my chest.

Because these weren't just home videos. Bella wouldn't be happily smiling at the camera on christmas morning or celebrating her birthday surrounded by family. These videos were documentation of years of struggle and mental abuse the film industry had put her through. At the moment, I couldn't remember the excitement that had rushed through me when Kate first told me about them.

I eyed the frozen figure of the young Bella on the screen. The eyes that I would recognize anywhere and that bottom lip that she still chewed on when she was nervous.

For her, I thought, pressing play and listening to Kate reassure Bella off screen. For that girl, the one that would be mine five years from the moment this video was taken, I'd watch every goddamn second of what she went through. And take down every fucker who hurt her along the way.

–Love|Power–

"Excellent take, Bella," Lawrence beamed as Bella ran past the camera. She gave him a smile, even as her gait changed the moment she was past the camera and a limp became obvious. One that wasn't there as she sprinted through the forest.

…

She was in nothing but a sports bra and a pair of athletic shorts as she stumbled into the bathroom. Her legs were covered in bruises, her knees seeming to have taken the brunt of whatever had happened. There was a bath full of ice that she carefully dropped herself into, wincing the entire time Kate read over a school assignment she had due the next morning.

…

Bella stood on a red carpet, smiling beautifully at the man with a mic shoved in her face as she talked. As soon as she finished their conversation, she stepped off of the podium and Colton Shay seemingly steadied her with a hand on her back. Low enough to make her subtly step out of his reach as soon as possible.

…

She sat beside Jacob Black at a small picnic table, trailers and tables full of food for the rest of the cast and crew off to the side. Nobody approached them, a few cast them curious glances, but Bella smiled at him and seemed completely unaware of the looks.

…

Bella leaned into Kate, smiling for what they both thought was a picture as they sat in a booth and enjoyed their coffee.

"Oh shit, it's a video," Kate chuckled, pulling the phone back toward her and fumbling with it until the booming voices of men a table away caught their attention.

"I swear, that chick looks familiar."

"She's in those movies. The annoying ones that everyone won't shut up about because of how awful they are."

"Damn," the first man sighed. "Too bad. She's hot."

…

Bella sat in a director's chair on set in the middle of a forest, her head lulling every few seconds as she leaned with her chin in her palm. It was pitch black outside, large lights and equipment littering the area with dozens of cast and crew rushing about as she caught a couple minutes of rest in the middle of it.

…

Bella stood on a small podium in the middle of a room filled with fabric and rolling racks of clothes. The seamstress that knelt at Bella's feet let out a few too many sighs.

"You gained weight during the break," she grumbled. "Makes my job a lot harder."

…

The screen was black, only the sound of a muffled conversation between Kate and an unrecognizable voice on the other line.

"So, what do you want from me?" Kate asked.

"We just wanted to see if you're comfortable going on the record saying that Bella is… unstable."

"On the record? For an interview?"

"For a… deposition. With a lawyer."

"Why?"

"We're trying to… appoint a few people to help her navigate her career. If she's unstable–"

"She's not unstable."

…

"This movie is shit," Bella hissed to Kate as they sat side by side in a trailer. "And they just sent the script for the next one and it's worse than this one."

"There's still months until that one shoots. There's time for changes."

Bella shook her head. Those bright eyes that she had that morning of her first day on her first set were dull and angry.

…

The flashes were blinding, the shouting unintelligible as Bella and Kate walked through a crowd of fans mixed with paparazzi. There was no security anywhere, just two girls completely surrounded.

Bella let out a huff of air as soon as they got to her pristine white BMW, Kate letting out an uncomfortable laugh. "That's fucking insane."

Bella shook her head, clenching her fingers a few times before turning on the car.

…

Bella was in a hotel room, a beautiful blush gown on as people around her fussed with her hair and makeup. Kate, as usual, was heard talking off the screen and was wholly convinced this was the night Bella was going to win an Academy Award.

The footage switched to show Bella backstage, hunched over in the middle of the bustling crew around her, clutching a shiny gold statue to her chest.

…

The spark was back in her eyes as Kate walked up to where Bella was arranging a corner of her bedroom. While surrounded by camera equipment and lights and half a dozen crew members.

A bright, full face smile covered her face when she saw Kate. "I can't believe I did this," she said with a chortle. "Not one person I talked to about it said it was a good idea. But I just…" she shrugged, turning in a circle where she was surrounded by the bustle of the set. "It's going to work. I know it."

…

"Bella!" a few girls called out as Kate's camera was pulled away from where it had been aimed at her and Bella side by side. They ran across the street to where Kate and Bella sat at a table, iced coffees in front of them.

"Oh, my God," one of them gasped. "Oh, my God."

Bella gave them a kind smile. "Hi."

"I can't believe it's you," the quieter of the trio sighed. "Badlands it… I know it sounds cheesy but it saved my life. Knowing you feel how I do sometimes, it makes me feel less alone."

…

Bella paced back and forth backstage, the lights dim and the roar of a crowd in the distance. Her inears dangled around her neck and the teal microphone gripped tightly in her hand.

"Just got word from the booking company," Heidi said as she walked over. "Night one of The Badlands Tour is sold out."

Bella's eyes widened in a mixture of awe and panic.

…

"Hollywood! Good to see ya again!" Emmett's voice boomed as Bella walked into the meet & greet after her Chicago show. Alice hugged her, but her eyes never left me.

"You were stunning," I told her. Bella stuttered out a thank you before settling into my side for a picture and, unbeknownst to both of us at the time, for our forever.

A/N: A bit of a short chapter, but it was a little scene I didn't fit into the last chapter and wanted to get out. Hope you guys enjoyed it!