Candy felt a lack of air.
With intensive efforts she quickly put the letter into a bunch of others so that it was not visible.
'Mary, I…'
The maid turned around.
'I'm very tired, I want to go to bed,' the girl said quickly with disobedient lips.
'My God, miss, you're chalky pale!' The maid rushed to Candy and put the arm around her shoulders.
'I'm just very tired, I need to sleep. Yesterday was a difficult day, and today we were riding on horses and on a boat for the whole day.'
'Yes-yes, right,' Maria muttered, untying the lacing on the Miss White's back.
'Do you need something else?'
'No-no, i just want to sleep for an hour. Don't disturb me.'
She wanted to stay alone.
'Ring the bell if you need anything,' Maria said, and left.
As soon as the door closed, Candy rushed to the letter pile and fished out an unfortunate letter. She got cold - this letter was laying in front of everybody, and it was just some incomprehensible miracle that Neil did not see it!
Oh, Lord!
The girl quickly tore up the envelope and read.
'Candy, I'm sorry that writing to you, but I found out that you're engaged to Nail. It's true? He made you, are you in trouble? I beg, tell me if everything is all right, I will definitely find a way to help you.
Terrus.'
'Damn!' Suddenly, Candy cried out. 'Damn, damn, damn!'
She crumpled the letter and hardly resisted not to shred it.
What kind of madness! Why can not she be left alone? The terrible feeling of the nightmare that nearly came to pass squeezed her soul, but what if this letter came to the Neil? Or he would have found out about it?
'He would never believe that everything was over for a long time ago. That we did not communicate for all these years. He is already very jealous, and this... Oh, damn!'
Why is the fate so cruel that everything returns when it is not only not necessary, but hinders happiness ... How she sobbed, how she suffered, and how much she would give for the letter from Terry then, three years ago! And now she does not need it, now, she is afraid of receiving it!
Now, when the wedding is near, and she wants to enjoy peace, silence, the brightest feelings, why should she be so afraid?
She is very afraid that Neil will not believe her. She is afraid of losing him. He is so proud that he simply will not believe a single word, and she would not believe herself …
And what should she does? Leave Terry? Reply? And if Neil finds out she's writing letters to Terry? If he would just see the envelope with his address…
And if she doesn't reply... Then Terry can come to the wedding to rescue her.
Why, why everybody around are such idiots?
Why can not she just marry like millions of other women?
Why does everyone want to save her, when she absolutely does not need it.
Why should she explain to everyone why she fell in love with Daniel Legan, and when it happened, and how many minutes and how many seconds, and for what she loved him and how much, and whether she really feels what she feels!
Does Annie dissect her feelings to Archie in such a way? Or does someone else think about these questions?
Yes, many knew that they disliked each other with Neil earlier. But now they are adults, just a man and a woman, why she is denied that she can choose a person to be next to her?
If she needed help, she would, of course, apply, does not she?
Candy rushed about the room like a wounded beast.
Write it? Do not write? Talk to Neil? Not to talk to him?
She knew that Neil was not just jealous her to Terry. She truly felt with the feminine instincts, that the women Neil was with, meant nothing to him now. It was only the physical attraction of a man and a woman, and in the place of one girl it could easily be another.
And his feelings for Candy were completely different. He loved her with all his heart, and now she knew it. And she also loved him, oh, how she loved him now!
But she loved Terry too. Therefore, if Neil notice that she is writing to him, then...
Neal will not even listen to her. He's too impulsive.
And she loved him just like that.
'Mom, mommy, tell me what to do?' The girl whispered feverishly, pacing the room.